7 meditations lesvos

Meditations on lesbians who meditate on Lesvos An exploration on the inhabitation of separatist space

photo: Tzeli Hadjidimitriou, Skala Eressos, Lesvos, September 2011

1st International Conference on Contemporary Esotericism, Stockholms universitet, 120827 PhD Candidate, advisor: Katarina Bonnevier, Critical Studies in Architecture, KTH

Meditations on lesbians who meditate on Lesvos An exploration on the inhabitation of separatist space

Abstract At the end of the beach in the tiny Greek village Skala Eressos, Lesvos, Sappho’s birthplace, stands the main blue-stuccoed building of Zorba the Buddha - the beachfront café where The Skala Women’s Rock Group gather every morning at 10 am for their daily swim and breakfast.

From this place, springs a series of spaces where lesbian women bath together.

Through short fictional meditations on specific situations encountered within this context, this paper looks at how our most vulnerable, passionate and empowering moments affect and transform the spaces we inhabit. Key theoretical references are bell hooks’ writing on spirituality and community building, Sara Ahmed’s ideas on orientation and inhabitation in describing systems of social norms, and Monique Wittig’s The Lesbian Body as an important fictional source of inspiration.

This work explores affect in the inhabitation of separatist space and fictional modes of writing as a critical methodology, to examine contemporary sites of study in an ethically responsible way.

Introduction “Stand up and look at me face to face, friend to friend; unfurl the loveliness in your eyes,” wrote Sappho, the ancient female practitioner of lyrical poetry and desire, the insatiable aristocratic mentor and lover, the unbridled feminine instigator and native of Lesvos, Greece.1 Vulnerability, desire, and empowerment in the spaces made by women for women, more specifically by women who love women, is the theme of this exploration.2 We will dive deep into the world of the feminine, splashing in ‘lesbian spaces’ created through bathing rituals on the island of Lesvos.3 1

This is an experiment in the critical writing of place in relation to desire, in the form of three fictional narratives or meditations4… Critical fictions open up to imaginary locations, allowing us to explore positions other than our own (and perhaps more importantly, our own positions from a ‘comfortable’ distance), to discover other stories and to propose ways in which our experience of the everyday might be altered. By using elements of fiction and theory, telling stories while formulating critical arguments, this method borrows from many writing practices, in order to get at areas of resistance, out of reach to traditional forms of academic writing.5 There is a saying that once you swim to “the rock,” the tiny islet located approximately 315 m from the shore at the south-east end of the beach, you will always return. Skala Eressos, Lesvos is a place immersed in “spiritual energy.” Steeped in local myths, the place is attributed with the ability to amplify personal energy: if you come here in a ‘good place’, you may find bliss; however, if you come with your demons, they may destroy you. In the background, lies a local Greek culture with ties to ancient mythology and the religious traditions of the Greek Orthodox religion. Beside it, are the sannyasin guests from the nearby Osho Afroz Meditation Center.6 And parallel to both, is the international community of lesbian women, many with their angels and goddesses in tow.7 Above all else is the awe inspiring nature that makes up this place, with its red cliffs of volcanic earth lit up during the long sunsets and its crystal clear sea, which provides a watery black surface at night, to receive the light of the full moon.

“To most of us, spirituality is about practice, how we live in the world and how we relate to self and others.” writes feminist bell hooks. She refers to “the qualities of the human spirit” identified by the Dalai Lama, such as love, compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment and a sense of responsibility and harmony.8 It is in this sense I understand the spiritual, as I explore spatial implications of feelings of vulnerability, desire and empowerment among women, and how they unfold within the ritual or practice of bathing together.9

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Invitation

Dear Reader, YOU are cordially invited to the island of Lesvos, in the village of Skala Eressos, Sappho’s birthplace.

Join us as we visit three women-only bathing spaces: an underwater cave, a semi-inflatable motorboat in a secluded cove, and a magical beachfront café.

Aphrodite will be your host; however, we will also hear from a local seagull and one of Oshos’ sannyasin, as we follow the Goddess of Love in her desirable encounters.

We will embark on an architectural story-telling, navigating through the grottos of selfintrospection, the intimate inlets of friendship and the archipelagos of community.

Don’t forget your bathing suit, towel and sunscreen. You are also advised to bring some bottled water, as the days can be warm in the Mediterranean sun.

Welcome!

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First Meditation: The Day I Became the Crouching Aphrodite10 Here I rest, in this “hollow habitation.”11 Poised on my pedestal… frozen in time, in space… waiting inside your cave. It is I, Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. Some know me to be capricious, irresistible and whimsical, even vengeful on occasion. Equally lethal to immortals as I am to humans and animals, there is no one I cannot persuade, if I set my mind to it. I was born out of the sea, but I thrive within fire and conflict, revelling in emotional and physical passion.12 How did I arrive here? you may ask.

The simple answer is on a boat, a fast boat with a Greek captain.

But how did I arrive here?

And where is here?

Here is an instant, a body, an identity, an underwater cave. It is a pilgrimage, an ancestry, a ritual, a feeling, an introspection… a state of mind.13 I’ve become comfortable in my suit of marble- compressed fossils, life to stone. Even when the fish nibble at my thighs, I no longer feel it. My back is stiff, torso twisted, breasts are perfect, knees bent, arms severed and I have no head. I’ve forgotten what it was like to be whole. Dis(mis)placed, I am at home. At times, I long to break this pose, leave here. But I like it here. Here is familiar, safe… and alone(ly).

I came here gladly, because you asked me to.14 You said, “So come to me now, free me from this aching pain, fulfil everything that my heart desires to be fulfilled; you, yes you, will be my ally.”15 The rocks under my feet are covered with a thin carpet of slippery green algea. Although inside the cave, the floor of the sea changes constantly. She likes to rearrange the furniture often, throwing rocks about to suit her moods. We get along, the sea and I. She entices me with the reflections of sunlight dancing on the underside surface of the opening to the cave. All around the soft rounded edges, the lips of stone hanging suspended just a head length above the waterline, protecting the dark interior. Flames of light licking the walls, meeting each other in a frenzy and then dispersing. I plunge into her and she receives me. She lifts me up, and I am weightless. Her caresses are gentle, her vastness refreshing. Her coolness brings goose bumps to my skin, nipples erect. My body is covered in salt when I leave her.16 Even the winds of Aeolus howling in my ear cannot disturb me; I cannot hear him, for I am submersed.17

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It was not the sculptor Praxiteles who created me.18 I am not his Echo in this cave.19 You called me here Sappho, and I came obligingly. I was shot, but not by Eros… the weapon was in her hands, and here I remain.20 This is the space of poetry, the space of desire.21 It is here we build our dreams. It is here we play. It is here we find love, lust, friendship, gratitude and joy. “(I was dreaming of you but) just then Dawn, in her golden sandals (woke me)”, and I was still here.22

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Second Meditation: At sea with the Goddess of Love They leave the harbour, motor past “the rock,” past the women’s beach with the cantina and finally the Aeolian Village disappears behind them in the distance, as they motion a sign of farewell with one finger raised in the air.23 Now they pick up speed, past the first ridge with a silhouette said to resemble Sappho’s profile, swish by the second with the tiny cove and rusty shipwreck, where the sheep graze on dangerous slopes above. Heeeeere, heeeere, heeeere, here, here, here, here they come! I can see them from the pointed rock growing out of the sea where I often perch… Muuuwhaaaaaatch it! NOT TOO CLOSE!... as they glide into their “secret cove” with the underwater cave. I pick up a gust of wind and make a loop, following the ridge of the grey lava rocks surrounding the cove, and… and… and… SPLASH! into the shimmering blue-green sea. Mmmmmm, LUNCH! It was an easy target, swimming alone in the shallow part with the white crustaceans along the bottom.24 The boat rocks gently in its anchored post, with a “glup-glup” noise… I fly over them, just to get a closer look. Ouaoooou, something shiny! I’ll steal it later. They don’t notice me from under the canopy. Sometimes the Greek captain comes here alone, and we take turns chasing after the fish in the sea, although she never seems to catch one. On occasion, there are only two in the boat, but most often three or four. I feel unusually fascinated by one of them today, and I don’t usually care much for human animals. Could it be one of the immortals? Is it you Aphrodite, having some fun? I watch their courtship dance. Or is it a game? (I can tell the captain likes to play.) Shifting positions, negotiating with the shade and each other. Drawing in close-

too

intimate,

moving

apart

again,

but

not

too

far-

detached.

WAAAAAAAAAAARNING! DOOOO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT TOUCH- skin against skin may cause sudden outbreaks of latent desires and lead to unneccessary difficulties… keep it simple. Aphrodite is voracious and does as she pleases. I don’t even see the Greek captain any more, and I can feel my feathers getting all ruffled.

At the splash of the anchor, this species always removes the artificial coats they use to attract a mate and to protect them from the natural elements (to compensate for their obviously inadequate bodies), leaving them less distinguishable and more of the same flock. Without plumage or scales, they must constantly protect their bare skin with a

co-co-co-co-COconut

liquid that they assist each other in applying. All of the human animals on this boat are of the type that have two lumps hanging just above their stomach.25 Despite this, they seem to be able to swim well enough, although they use plastic containers with large tubes on their heads and a 6

rubber prosthesis on their feet, since they have no gills or webbing either.

When they are more than two, I usually get bored with their peculiar behavior and pick at my feathers. They swim off in opposite directions when hunting, lounge around- cackling away and are quite frankly not very skilled in the art of attracting a mate. (Although there are definitely rare instances of elaborate displays by some of the alpha members of the flock.)

FLooooOCKS are more efficient and secure for hunting and mating, too too too too TOO much distance between their bodies! When the small fishing boats of the type without the lumps come motoring towards the cove, they become territorial. Usually these boats just pass, but otherwise, tension rises in the group. DANGER! They reach for their artificial caw-caw caw-caw-caw-COATS in order to defend themselves, if necessary. But at night, when I see them here hardly speaking to one another, quietly watching the full moon rise over the ridge in solitude, it feels like we’re all here in this immense world together, and I can almost recognize a part of myself in them.26

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Third Meditation: Swimming with the Sappho Sirens I saw her the day she swam with the Sappho Sirens to the rock.27 It was there she met the Greek captain. We made eye contact, and I knew I had to have her. Later that day, after I had come from my afternoon meditation at the center, she seduced me. We had drinks and held hands, she touched my face, looked deep into my eyes… and she told me that she had never seen a more beautiful man, not since Adonis.28 Then she just left. We haven’t spoken since, and now I can’t even get her attention.

They gather there every morning at 10 am, under the shaded beachfront deck, across from the main blue stucco building of Zorba the Buddha Café- an Osho name for the one who lives life fully.29 The group spreads out, occupying at least one-third of all the tables, chairs and even a few of the brightly colored Ikea flower-patterned sofas. From the sofa where I sit at the other end, the yellow walls of canvas protecting against the wind are her backdrop and the thin white linens draped from the wooden rafters frame her like curtains on a stage. Even the strings of tiny lights sparkle like her eyes. Yesterday, I heard she met Santosh under the oak tree of the Buddha Hall at the center and then went off with him to his wooden hut.30 Now she’s standing there hugging one of those women, kissing her on the shoulder and smiling at me.

They make a big deal about their connection to Sappho, just because this is her birthplace and most of them love women too, but I’m not sure if they are so interested in her poetry. No one else in the village is, or the rest of the island for that matter. Most seem to have written her off as a love-crazed, tormented lesbian- with a little “l”.31 Osho says that sex is sex, but that the only ‘real’ sex is heterosexual. He also says that the women’s liberation movement (and groups like this one) are causing lesbianism.32 I don’t understand why they’re so insistent on their “women-only” space and all the talk of community building.33 We’re all a community, aren’t we? The Greek men in the kafeneias with their afternoon ouzo don’t make a fuss34… I mean, the real reason most of them are there has to do with privilege, not gender or sexual preference.

It costs money to get there- surfing on their iPhones, eating their omelettes and sipping their smoothies.35 Ok, so some of them do get involved in the local community, but they can always leave if things get really tough. Why does she want to be with them?

Now they place the group’s hand-painted sign at the corner of the deck, marking their territory. In a single file down the stairs to the beach, the gong sounds, the canoe is pushed into the water and the flock of swimmers head out towards the rock. They take it so seriously, like it’s a mission, but sometimes I hear them laughing or singing a song together from out there.

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They seem to be having fun. Once they are all back safely, the daily ceremony will begin, the initiation of new swimmers and the handing out of certificates… applause… photograph. One of them kissed her on the cheek, when she got her certificate. She smiled and kissed them back.

Was there desire in that smile? She said that she felt like she was welcomed there, that she belonged there, but even spaces of friendship contain desire- for acceptance, respect, love.

It almost feels like they are on their own little island. Many of them come back year after year, but still they remain separate from everyone else. I guess we do the same thing, in a way. The center becomes another island, and both of our islands happen to meet in this space at Zorba’s.

We have Osho, our master, and they have their angels. Actually, I guess that’s what brings us together and allows us to co-exist. We both have a spiritual desire, if there is such a thing?

Finally, she sees me! She’s coming this way… but she just passed by without even a glance. She was only on her way to the harbour with the Greek captain.

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Afterword So how did these texts come about? What do they tell us? And what does it have to do with research and architecture?

In research by design (or artistic research), the emphasis lies on doing or proposing, rather than writing about a certain area or phenomenon. It relies heavily on a process of experimentation and discovery, where “post-justification” is both legitimate and necessary.36 One does first, then reflects, analyses and pieces it all together afterwards. It requires allowing the creative journey to take over, having some fun with it and summoning a bit of ‘faith’ in it leading to a body of work that offers a deeper understanding, while it raises new questions.37 In other words, I could have never imagined beforehand that I would need to find my seagull voice, in order to get at areas of vulnerability that were personally too close. The method of critical fictions is also what made it possible to ethically work with situations involving people and places that are deeply connected to me. I must also add that I am ‘hell bent’ on producing work that is accessible beyond internal academic circles, using a language and form that invites, rather than excludes.

Again, bell hooks writes, “One of the ways we become a learning community is by sharing and receiving one another’s stories; it is a ritual of communion that opens our minds and hearts.”38 Another key element in this experiment was my participation in the underwater nudes, and the resulting photo that was an inspiration for the idea and framework of the meditations.39 In a conscious feminist approach, by using my own body rather than exploiting someone else’s, I was able to get at the very heart of what it means to be vulnerable and empowered. To be photographed nude is a moment of vulnerability and exposure that builds on a great deal of trust between the photographer and the ‘photographee’.40 To then see my own body, as an object without a head, is an experience filled with both enchantment and discomfort.41 And finally, to write about it feels like an act of empowerment, as I reclaim the part I played in being photographed, while making it a source of new stories and possibilities for inhabiting lesbian space. The performance is enacted again and again, within the contexts of the reader.

The intent of this paper is to tell the stories of women-only bathing spaces, explore aspects of vulnerability, desire and empowerment in lesbian space and in a small way, it is a visibility project to revive the memory of an important female poet, Sappho, in connection to a place that has forsaken her.42

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The first meditation, and the most difficult one to write, is about being here. It is about being comfortable in your own skin, even if it at times feels like ‘a suit of stone’. Looking inward at the spaces we inhabit alone and the longing for connection with others, through intimacy and trust, it negotiates the territories of our mind and soul, spiritually and existentially.43 The sexual energy present in a spiritual awareness allows for a more sensual inhabitation of space, while an undertone of the text has to do with occupying lesbian space, the lesbian body and the possibilities of empowerment through poetry and desire between women. Sara Ahmed writes, “So, it takes time and work to inhabit a lesbian body; the act of tending toward other women has to be repeated, often in the face of hostility and discrimination, to gather such tendencies into a stable form.”44 The second meditation deals with the sometimes shifting boundaries between sex and intimacy in the spaces of friendship and lovers, the negotiation of personal space, the possibilities for freedom found in the naked body within separatist spaces and the vulnerability when that space is threatened. There is an implied sacredness or reverence for the natural world, by the nonhuman animal narrator, as it plays with the hierarchy of human-animal, while creating some necessary distance to the spaces of my own experiences.45 In the third meditation, I explore the vulnerability in feelings of longing and exclusion from a position outside of the separatist space. While those inside the group may experience a sense of community and belonging, the male Osho sannyasin looks from the outside-in, locating points of conflict and nuancing the concept of desire. Taunted by Aphrodite, he struggles with feelings of hope, rejection, jealousy and desire for what he cannot have, mixed with the Osho practice of polyamory that celebrates sex, emphasizing sharing and enjoying, rather than possession.46 He posits the possibility of co-habitation of ‘separatist’ spiritual groups with conflicting sexual politics, while questioning society’s relational norms and gender roles.47 He wants to be here, but remains there.48 Through this architectural story telling, I want to raise issues and ideas that aren’t usually present in traditional architectural education. By telling new stories, building spaces and bodies with narratives, I want to suggest other ways of approaching architecture that can change the way we think about space and the way we think about ourselves. Architecture isn’t only about the formal, material and tectonic aspects of our built environment. It also has to do with bodies, souls, and the interactions, desires, dramas and conflicts between them. If we begin by looking at the most vulnerable, passionate or empowering moments in life, what kind of spaces will we 11

make then? And how do we go about making them? There is a beautiful Greek proverb that says “Whoever did not walk in a moonlit night, and in the morning with the dew, did not enjoy the world.” (οιος δεν επερπάτησε τη νύχτα με φεγγάρι, και το πρωί με τη δροσιά, τον κόσμο δεν εχάρη.) Let’s

start there.

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Acknowledgement A special thank you to Tzeli Hadjidimitriou, the Greek captain and photographer of the underwater nudes, who has been an inspiration and vital (counter)part of this paper.

Bibliography Ahmed, Sara 2006, Queer Phenomenology. Durham and London: Duke University Press.

Angeles, Peter A. 1981, Dictionary of Philosophy. New York: Harper & Row Publishers, Inc. Balmer, Josephine 1992 (1984), Sappho: Poems and Fragments, transl. Josephine Balmer, Bloodaxe Books, Bell & Bain Limited: Glasgow, Scotland.

Braidotti, Rosi 1994, Nomadic Subjects: Embodiment and Sexual Difference in Contemporary Feminist Theory, New York: Columbia University Press.

Braidotti, Rosi 2011 (2006), Transpositions: On Nomadic Ethics, Cambridge, UK: Polity Press.

Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy 2009 (1997), The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, Berkeley: Celestial Arts.

Hadjidimitriou, Tzeli 2012, a girl’s guide to Lesbos. Athens, Greece: Tzeli Hadjidimitriou. hooks, bell 2010, Teaching Critical Thinking: Practical Wisdom. NY and London: Routledge.

Livholts, Mona 2012, Emergent Writing Methodologies in Feminist Studies, NY and London: Routledge.

Mavromataki, Maria 1997, Greek Mythology and Religion. Athens: Haïtalis.

Osho 2000, Autobiography of a Spiritually Incorrect Mystic, ed. Sarito Carol Neiman, NY, NY: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Pujol, Ernesto 2012, Sited Body, Public Visions: silence, stillness & walking as Performance Practice, NY: McNally Jackson Books.

Riche, Adrienne 1980 (1979), “Power and Danger: Works of a Common Woman,” On Lies, Secrets & Silence: Selected Prose 1966-1978, London: VIRAGO. p. 247-258.

Sontag, Susan 1989 (1977), On Photography, NY, NY: Anchor Books, Doubleday.

Wittig, Monique 1999 (1973), The Lesbian Body, Boston Massachusetts: Beacon Press.

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Introduction 1 Sappho, fragment no. 3 (Balmer 1992, p. 32). For more information on the life and history of Sappho see Sappho Poems & Fragments, Balmer, 1992.

2 “The method of power is anxious, exhausting and incomplete. The methodology of vulnerability is much more thorough, in terms of the psychic disarmament I hope for.” (Pujol 2012, p. 85) In the chapter “Vulnerability as Methodology”, Ernesto Pujol, public performance artist and social choreographer, describes the method he uses in his performance pieces that include submersing his own body in a place, making deep connections with local participants, clearly articulating his intentions through manuscript writing, releasing control and trusting in intuition, experiment and discovery, enacting the piece, and then reflecting over/documenting the entire process from beginning to end. I find this to be a very good description of my own working process, and I also agree with Pujol’s intentions to create a space of discovery, connection and generosity through his work. My hope is that in extension, my work will help others learn to make spaces of this kind.

3 My use of the term ‘lesbian space,’ refers to the specific space generated between ‘lesbian identified’ women within women-only communities, shifting both the androcentric and the heterosexual norm. It is not to say that there are no straight people nor men, but that they (and their ‘habits’) are no longer the standard measure. Rosi Braidotti writes “’Habits’ are a socially enforced and thereby ‘legal’ type of addiction. They are cumulated toxins which by sheer uncreative repetition engender forms of behaviour that can be socially accepted as ‘normal’ or even ‘natural’. (Braidotti 2011 (2006), p. 9) I am also inspired by Monique Wittig’s novel The Lesbian Body, in her unique experimentation with language and her very physical approach to different narrator perspectives, from human animals to non-human animals to nature and inanimate objects. In her author’s note she writes what I consider could be a beautiful description of temporary separatist spaces and connects them with the idea of fiction. “The descriptions of the islands allude to the Amazons, to the islands of women, the domains of women, which formerly existed with their own culture.

They also allude to the Amazons of the present and the future. We already have our islets, our islands, we are already in process of living in a culture that befits us. The Amazons are women who live among themselves, by themselves and for themselves at all the generally accepted levels: fictional, symbolic, actual. Because we are illusionary for traditional male culture we make no distinction between the three levels. Our reality is the fictional as it is socially accepted, our symbols deny the traditional symbols and are fictional for male culture, and we possess an entire fiction into which we project ourselves and which is already a possible reality. It is our fiction that validates us.” (Wittig 1999 (1973), p. 9-10) Just as Wittig attempts to write the lesbian body, this is my attempt to write lesbian space.

4 In the Dictionary of Philosophy (Angeles 1981, p. 47) ‘meditation’ is defined, in the religious sense, as “the act of attempting to behold some spiritual object or gain spiritual insight”. Likewise, the epistemological definition is “synonymous with knowledge or the act of acquiring knowledge; the activity of thinking or pondering.” Edmund Husserl (Husserl 1999 (1950), Cartesian Meditations) and Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, Gregory Hays, transl. 2003), among others, wrote well-known meditations enlightening mankind with their thoughts on questions of an existential, ethical and moral nature… men writing for men, or as Husserl puts it, “…a world of men and things.”

(Husserl 1999 (1950), p. 129) Although there is an element of the phenomenological in my study and an interest in embodiment, materiality and the senses in the way we inhabit space, the focus here is on the effect of affect and the phenomenology is a queer one (see Ahmed 2006). Rather than the androcentric “I think therefore I am.” these meditations follow bell hooks’ mantra “I am because the story is.” (hooks 2010, p. 50) They speak of the space between women, where the category ‘women’ is self-identified and subjects are not constants, but rather made up of many stories that change and shift over time. Rosi Braidotti uses the term ‘nomadic subject’ for this understanding of the subject with a ‘situated knowledge,’ to escape what she calls “the phallocentric vision of the subject.” (Braidotti 1994, p. 1) Importantly, she also speaks of desire as the catalyst for these “multiple identities”.

(Braidotti 1994, p. 14) 5 This writing experiment has been greatly inspired by two presentations I was fortunate enough to hear during a two-day symposium “Architecture-Writing: Experimental Approaches” organised by Hélène Frichot at Critical Studies in Architecture, KTH School of Architecture, 24-25 May 2012. I was thrilled and touched by Mona Livholts presentation “Critical Studies For Untimely Futures: Post/Academic Writing Methodologies”, especially her description of The Snow Angel and Other Imprints: An Untimely Academic Novella, as well as Why Are All The Chairs at Konstfack Red? by Sam Kennedy. I have also been inspired by a recent text written by my advisor Katarina Bonnevier, called Conversation Pieces. I am in debt to you all. For more insight into creative critical writing practices see Livholts, 2012.

6 The Osho Afroz Meditation Center is located in Kampos, the valley between the summer village along the waterfront (Skala Eressos) and the year-round village (Eressos), which sits about 5 km from the sea up in the hills.

The center is open seasonally, May-September, and offers special courses and events with invited guests, daily meditations, and creative activities such as pottery, jewelry making, painting and ‘meditative agricultural activities.’ It draws spiritually interested people and followers of Osho from all over the world. On their website, they describe the center as “an environment of safety and acceptance for those who wish to meditate, relax and enjoy the vigorous energy of the nature that surrounds them.” Accommodations at the center are very simple and

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include rooms in two stone houses with shared bathroom facilities, or wooden huts and tents that share a common shower and toilet facilities. There is a vegetarian restaurant with an accompanying organic garden supplying the kitchen, an open air Buddha Hall under a large oak tree for meditation, two stone meditation halls and a bar. (http://www.oshoafroz.com/) The beachfront café, Zorba The Buddha, takes its name from an Osho expression, where he attempts to describe a way of living as a ‘whole human being’. He describes it is a meeting of polarities, “East and West, man and woman, matter and consciousness, this world and that world, life and death” that will create a new human being, Zorba the Buddha. (Osho 2000, p. 215) In other words, a philosophy of life where you can have your cake and eat it too. This café is highly frequented by the Osho sannyasin and is the space where the Skala Women’s Rock Group meet everyday where the third meditation takes place.

7 It is common among the groups of lesbian women who make the ‘pilgrimage’ to Skala Eressos, especially those I have encountered through the swimming group, The Skala Women’s Rock Group, to identify themselves as “spiritual.” I have met many astrologers, healers, non-denominational ministers, as well as the average person who thanks her goddesses or angels when something good happens. It is not uncommon to start a conversation by gathering around a set of Angel, Goddess or Fairy Cards after the morning swim (similar to Tarot cards but usually with more positive affirmations). On special occasions, spiritual practices such as full moon ceremonies or beach fires with specific rituals, chanting or prayer and nude bathing, reinforce the sense of community within the ‘women’s space.’

8 see hooks, 2010, p.150 9 Ernesto Pujol writes about the ‘psychic’ or a more spiritual dimension in his work and the resistance of an institutional norm: “But the art world hardly ever addresses that level because it is not a level found within the architecture of galleries and museums, but within the messier architecture of the human condition.” (Pujol 2012, p. 87-88) I also recognize this resistance to any notion of the spiritual within the world of architecture, where rational notions of structure, geometry and digitally generated design take precedence over more transient notions such as vulnerability, desire and generosity.

First Meditation 10 The Crouching Aphrodite refers to a statue called The Crouching Venus of Vienne by an unknown sculptor, one of many Roman copies of the 3rd century, loosely derived from the Greek sculptor Praxiteles’ works and now located in the Louvre. I stumbled upon this image while searching for statues that reminded me of the photograph of myself in the underwater nude, which led to the idea of becoming the character Aphrodite in the narrative.

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Wittig 1999, p. 15. I borrowed this term from Wittig, as I appreciated the possibility of double meanings in this expression within the separatist lesbian space, referring to a grotto or vagina.

12 For a general overview of Aphrodite in Greek mythology see Mavromataki 1997, p. 82-89.

13 This sentence tries to capture the notion that we may be many places simultaneously… besides being in the present in a specific time and geographical location, we are also always simultaneously in many other places through memories, ancestry- both familial and chosen, travel in our thoughts or daydreams and even in the thoughts of other people who manifest us in some way when we aren’t present physically.

14 Here, I am referring to a ‘calling’ in several senses. One is Sappho’s poem to Aphrodite asking her for help in matters of the heart. Another is the pilgrimage lesbian women make from all over the world to the birthplace of Sappho, who has become synonymous with women’s love for women. And yet another, is the calling some of us feel within ourselves to occupy the lesbian body. It may also simply be coming to be with someone close to you, who asks.

15 Sappho, fragment no. 78 (Balmer 1992, p. 66). Quote from Sappho’s poem to Aphrodite. This quote raises the inner struggle we face in negotiating personal boundaries with those we feel closest to or “…how we understand where I end and you begin, where we meet and how we are separate as individuals.” (Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy 2009 (1997), p. 72) 16 This passage talks about the connection between sexuality and the spiritual. In the section of their book on “Rethinking Sex”, Easton and Hardy write “Sexual energy pervades everything all the time; we inhale it into our lungs and exude it from our pores…. we think erotic energy is everywhere- in the deep breath that fills our lungs as we step out into a warm spring morning, in the cold water spilling over the rocks in a brook, in the creativity that drives us to paint pictures and tell stories and make music and write books, in the loving tenderness we feel toward our friends and relatives and children.” (Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy 2009 (1997), p. 21-22) Later

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in their book, they go on to describe a short genealogy of ‘sex practitioners’ where Osho is included in the tantra and spiritual section.

17 Aeolus is the owner of all the winds in Greek mythology. (Mavromataki 1997, p. 246) 18 Praxiteles is the first Greek sculptor (4th century BC) credited with portraying the nude female body, as previously only male bodies were sculpted without clothing. (from Encyclopedia Britannica online: http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/474116/Praxiteles) 19 This is a reference to Ovid’s tale of Echo and Narcissus, partly emphasizing the fact that the photograph does not seek to satisfy the male gaze, nor to reflect the male ego, as the artist is also female. See note 19 below. (Ovid: The Metamorphoses, Book III, transl. A. S. Kline, p. 339-401.) It also alludes to the struggle or longing to connect with others and overcome personal boundaries. Echo longs to seduce Narcissus, but has only the capability to repeat his words. Destroyed by his rejection, she remains doomed to an existence in lonely caves. Although Aphrodite sometimes feels trapped in her cave and ‘suit of stone,’ she seeks freedom through poetry, art, dreams, desire and friendship.

20 Eros is the god of physical love, son of Aphrodite and Ares (god of war), “who ruthlessly shot darts into the heart, causing both joy and pain.” (Mavromataki 1997, p. 89) This is a reference to Susan Sontag’s writing on photography and her description of cameras: “The camera as phallus is, at most, a flimsy variant of the inescapable metaphor that everyone unselfconsciously employs.

However hazy our awareness of this fantasy, it is named without subtlety whenever we talk about ‘loading’ and ‘aiming’ a camera, about ‘shooting’ a film…. Like a car, a camera is sold as a predatory weapon- one that’s as automated as possible, ready to spring….It’s as simple as turning on the ignition key or pulling the trigger…. Still, there is something predatory in the act of taking a picture. To photograph people is to violate them, by seeking them as they will never see themselves, by having knowledge of them they can never have; it turns people into objects that can be symbolically possessed.” (Sontag 1989 (1977)), p.13-14) Sontag’s connection between cameras and guns brings up the aspect of power between the photographer and photographee (see note 34). While I agree that photographing can be a very violating act, I think it is possible to find a balance in an atmosphere of trust and in the willingness on the part of the photographee. For me, it is important to point out that this specific photograph is made by the female gaze of a female photographer capturing the female form, which also affects the balance of power.

21 “Poetry is above all a concentration of the power of language, which is the power of our ultimate relationship to everything in the universe. It is as if forces we can lay claim to in no other way, become present to us in sensuous form. The knowledge and use of this magic goes back very far: the rune; the chant; the incantation; the spell; the kenning; sacred words; forbidden words; the naming of the child, the plant , the insect, the ocean, the configuration of stars, the snow, the sensation in the body. The ritual telling of the dream. The physical reality of the human voice; of words gouged or incised in stone or wood, woven in silk or wool, painted on vellum, or traced in sand.” (Adrienne Rich, “Power and Danger: Works of a Common Woman”, p.248) 22 Sappho, fragment no. 28 (Balmer 1992, p. 42).

Second Meditation 23 The “women’s beach” is a section of the beach in Skala Eressos unofficially designated as a space for womenonly nude bathing. Most of the beach beyond the end of the beachfront restaurants and shops is used for nude bathers, but this area is contested and negotiated constantly and is greatly dependent on sheer numbers of women to appropriate the space. Recently, it has also been affected by the clientele at the nearby cantina which passed from ‘lesbian-owned’ hands (Cantina Moon) to a local Greek family (Da Luz) and a much more ‘masculine’ profile.

The Aeolian Village is a British owned, all-inclusive resort where predominantly well-to-do British families seek warm temperatures, water sports and cocktails without the annoying inconvenience of noticing they are even in Greece. Many defend this complex as necessary for the economy of this tiny village, but in my opinion, it is still a clear example of colonialist exploitation and to a great extent, disregard for local culture. As far as I know, the company behind it, Nielson Travel, employs very few locals and does not make any contributions to the village in terms of infrastructure, support for the arts & culture, or any concern for the general welfare of the area, beyond those that directly put money into their own pockets (i.e. tennis court facilities, floating boat platforms). It appears to be a purely capitalist venture with no interest (or conscience) for the area it inhabits. (My own personal ‘ritual’ and act of resistance is to give the complex the finger each time we pass by on the motorboat.)

24 Many Youtube videos of seagull sounds and behaviour were viewed to aid in the writing of this text.

25 This priceless description of female breasts, I owe to my 5 year old nephew, Aidin.

26 Ernesto Pujol describes what he wants his fellow performers to experience through their participation in his art pieces: “It may sound simplistic to say that I want them to be transformed, but I do. It begins with experiencing isness through silent stillness. I want them to be in a place the way an animal is, because that experience can trigger the beginning of great personal freedom.” (Pujol 2012, p. 95) I found a similar personal freedom within the transformation into the seagull narrator. Also, a great deal of the narratives comes from being in a place over time and would not have been possible without these valuable observations and experiences. As colleague and guest

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researcher, Jennifer Mack, once described her ethnographic approach to her architectural study during a Higher Seminar on 25 February, 2012 where I was the respondent, “It’s sort of like a ‘deep hanging out’.”

Third Meditation 27 Initiated by a few enthusiastic women from the international lesbian community in Skala Eressos, The Skala Women’s Rock Group, otherwise known as The Sappho Sirens, formed in May 2010 to establish a place for creativity and community for women travellers through the morning gatherings. This group is a non-commercial, volunteer initiative that has been maintained for three consecutive years and continues to grow. The group meets daily and swims together, out to the rock and back, followed by a certificate ceremony and breakfast.

28 According to Greek mythology, Adonis was one of Aphrodite’s mortal lovers. He was killed by a wild boar while out hunting and the world’s first roses sprouted from the drops of his blood. (Mavromataki 1997, p. 85-86) 29 See note 6. In his description of the ‘homo novus’ or new human being, Osho links science to the West and religion to the East, stating that we need both in order to become whole, and that only art can be the bridge between them. “The West is suffering from too much science; the East has suffered from too much religion. Now we need a new humanity in which religion and science become two aspects of one human being. And the bridge is going to be art. That’s why I say that the new man will be a mystic; a poet and a scientist.” Osho 2000, p. 219.

30 The sannyasin name Santosh means satisfaction/contentment. see: http://www.sarovara.com/files/Sannyas_First_Names_List_May_2012.pdf 31 Tzeli Hadjidimitriou writes in her book A girl’s guide to Lesbos, “Her association with female homosexuality has unwillingly caused the gifted poet to be somewhat exiled from the pantheon of great personalities on the island.

The mention of her name brings an embarrassed smile to most locals who ignore Sappho’s poetry and focus on her sexual preferences.” (Hadjidimitriou 2012, p. 129) 32 “Ten percent people all over the world are homosexuals. Out of ten, one person is a homosexual; it is a big number. And this is increasing every day, because the women's liberation movement is creating lesbianism. "Why depend on men, even for love? Sisterhood is beautiful. Love your sisters." The natural outcome will be that many brothers will be left alone.” Quote from Osho book Tao: The Golden Gate, Vol. 2, found at this website: http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Shiva-Shakti/osho_on_homosexuality.htm Further on in the text, Osho attributes homosexuality to repression and guilt from our modern day institutions, suggesting that once one has fully accepted their homosexuality without guilt, then they will slowly become heterosexual or ‘natural’ again.

33 The principle of separatism is actively discussed and negotiated within The Skala Women’s Rock Group. As of now, the group’s explicit “women-only” rule is based on self-identification, not on biological bodies. Anyone comfortable with some form of woman identification (past or present), including all trans-identified people, are welcome. Likewise, the sons of lesbian women or single mothers are also welcome. The intent is to make a “safe space” for all of the many experiences of “women.” However, husbands, single straight men and gay men are asked to respect the space of the group and to find another activity to occupy their time between 10-12 am.

34 Hadjidimitriou points out the similarity between the function of the Greek kafeneias as a male sanctuary, in their gathering of a community as a “popular council”, and the separatist spaces of the bathhouses for the women.

(Hadjidimitriou 2012, p. 227) Afterword “The more people are affluent, the more they will become spiritual.” Osho 2000, p. 210.

36 My colleague Katarina Bonnevier coined the term “post-justification” in a studio assignment to our masterslevel architecture students during the Fall 2011. She writes, “As a method the studio celebrates post-justification, start at the first whim, finish at the doorstep of a new becoming. It is an archaeology in reverse. Do not plan ahead; the method goes; make first, think about it afterwards.”

37 Ernesto Pujol writes about an ‘educated not-knowing’. (Pujol 2012, p. 97) He describes a process that seems very close to a spiritual meditation or mindfulness that includes giving up control, suspending all preconceived notions and allowing for instinct and intuition, in order to achieve more layers of depth in knowing a place and ourselves.

38 hooks 20120, p. 51-52 39 The photo is a continuation of a series of underwater nudes called Dancing Nudes, an experimentation around water, light and the female body, by Greek photographer Tzeli Hadjidimitriou. This particular photo was taken in Skala Eressos during a few weeks in September of 2011, where I participated in being photographed in an underwater cave.

40 I choose the term ‘photgraphee’ rather than model, as I feel it implies more agency on the part of the one being photographed.

41 For a better description of how it can feel to have your head cut off see Wittig 1999 (1973), p. 126.

42 The fact that Skala Eressos is Sappho’s birthplace is the main (if not only) reason this village has become a place of pilgrimage for lesbian women. Without the large group of international women, Skala Eressos would be a very different place. Although ‘tourism’ always brings with it both positive and negative consequences to an area, the women come to Skala Eressos seeking a legacy and perhaps, whether consciously or unconsciously, to pay homage 35

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to a foremother.

43 As Kathleen B. Jones writes in her own very brave experimental autobiographical exploration, “Masquerades of Love: Biographical and Autobiographical Explorations of Self-Invention with/in Hannah Arendt’s Rahel Varnhagen” “…scholars study whatever they are trying to come to terms with themselves.” (Livholts 2012, p. 57) In the sense of autoethnography or autobiography, the experiences and observations behind these narratives are mine (and anyone else’s, who may recognize themselves in this journey). It has to do with occupying space in different ways, but also in occupying the lesbian body and identity.

44 Ahmed 2006, p. 102. In reference to Ahmed’s quote, “in the face of hostility and discrimination” it is important to make and maintain, even if only temporarily, lesbian spaces. This project identifies and legitimizes these spaces in resistance to oppressive norms and laws, as well as internalized oppression that are otherwise felt by lesbian bodies. See also note 3 for Monique Wittig’s thoughts on the space of the ‘Amazons.’

45 The idea of ‘becoming’ a seagull was partly inspired by the passage about the black swans in Wittig 1999 (1973), p. 36-37.

46 Osho 2000, p. 129 Osho also writes “Sexual orgasm, according to me, gives you the first glimpse of meditationbecause the mind stops, time stops.” Osho 2000, p. 130.

47 Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy talk about what they call our ‘monogamy-centrist,’ ‘sex-role-bound’ culture… “We have all been taught that one way of relating- lifelong monogamous heterosexual marriage- is the only right way. We are told that monogamy is “normal” and “natural”; if our desires do not fit into that constraint, we are morally deficient, psychologically disturbed, and going against nature.” (Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy 2009 (1997), p. 9) 48 In a cursory reading of a section in Husserl’s Cartesian Meditations, where he speaks of the subject (ego) and the ‘other,’ I noted he also used the terms here and there. (Husserl 1999 (1950) p.116-117) As I have a phenomenological background and interest within architecture, this note is mostly to remind myself to revisit this text more thoroughly.

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