Funny Jokes Quotes

Funny Jokes Quotes Woman was God's second mistake.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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"I ould ’t repair your rakes, so I

ade your hor louder."

- Steven Wright Very intelligent! Witty people always find some solution even if there is no way. That is what illustrated in above quote. So what if brakes are unrepairable, you can blow that loud horn to get people out of your way.

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"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No'."

- Woody Allen

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There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

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A best way to prevent snoring is..... put a pillow over his face.

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Never try to understand women. Women understand women And they hate each others!

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What do the Leafs and The Titanic have in common?

They both look good until they hit the ice.

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I've been using 'one office, two systems' pretty effectively -- one for me and the other for the rest!

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You are so nasty, I called you on the phone and got an ear infection.

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Doctor: Listen gentleman, You've got a tumor in your brain.

Wife starts laughing so loud!

Husband: Why so?

Wife: I am surprised that he has a brain!

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When she sees a spider, she behaves cool but she cries when it disappears!

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Dad to daughter: Dear, what you do when you grow up?

Daughter: I'll do marriage.

Dad: No, bad thing, you should not think anyone's bad at this age.

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My Aerobic teacher told me to touch my toes. I said, "I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet.

Can I just wave?"

Source : Jokes