FAMILY MATTERS Yinka Sunmonu Consultant | Email: ys@cherishcommunications.com | SUPPLEMENT › page 21, 22, 27, 28.
MARCH 7 - 13, 2013
INSIDE: › MERRY
MONTH OF MARCH
Celebrations • pg 22 › WE
ARE FAMILY
Mums talk motherhood • pg 27 › REAL
LIVES
Adoption in Islington • pg 28
WE ARE FAMILY
Family Matters
22 | THE VOICE MARCH 7 - 13, 2013
Merry month of March The third month of the year is packed with some key events: International Women’s Day, World Book Day, St Patrick’s Day and Mother’s Day, so here’s our contribution to those celebrations. By Yinka Sunmonu
M
rs O would head any list and reams have been written about her, so how about a book with a difference: Michelle Obama, The First Lady in Photographs by Deborah Willis and Emily Bernard, published by WW Norton. It’s a visual biography that highlights her fashion sense and shows her impact on so-
cial, political and cultural life. Online, check The Evolution of Mom Dancing video featuring popular TV show host Jimmy Fallon dancing with the First Lady who gets a solo. The video, now viral, is a great way to mark the third year of her Let’s move anti child obesity campaign. It could get adults exercising too. Who hasn’t got the moves like M. Obama? Mums….let us know! 2. Joyce Banda Award winning gender activist Joyce Banda became Ma-
lawi’ s first female President in April 2012. 3. Doreen Lawrence (OBE) Racial equality campaigner for justice, equalities and improving the educational outcomes of black children and young people. 4. Dr Nicola Rollock Deputy Director of the new Centre for Research in Race and Education, University of Birmingham that will focus on racism and race inequality in
education. 5. Reverend Nezlin Sterling Described as one of the most influential women in the black church community, Rev. Sterling participated in Healing Starts with Talking, a roundtable discussion on how the church can start a conversation about mental health in the community together with The Voice and England’s leading anti-stigma programme, Time To Change (www.timeto-change.org.uk).
Models of caleber
Michelle Obama: leading the way
¢ Artist Tonderai has designed an exclusive set of e-cards for Models of Calebar
“Attending one of the Southwark information meetings made us realise we were ready to complete our family” Maria and Jack, from Peckham
Adopt in Southwark If you are considering adoption, why not contact Southwark Council? You’ll benefit from outstanding support and dedicated social workers who will help you as you take your first steps towards completing your family. Your age, ethnicity, marital status or sexuality are not important, but being patient, caring and committed is. If you are interested in adopting in Southwark, join our upcoming information meeting at Peckham Library on Saturday 9 March from 11am to 1pm. For more information visit www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption
www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption
Promoting the needs of looked after children a person of Caleber…Converses, Attentive, Listens, Empathises, Believes is Effective and Responds (CALEBER) Jane Tilton works for Southwark council’s adoption service and is an administrator for the South London Adoption Consortium working across south London with local authorities and voluntary agencies. As profiles of the children and prospective adopters are shared, there is more choice and a greater possibility of finding a match.Jane’s first job was at the Independent Adoption Service (IAS) in the late 1990s. She got it by chance. “I was just there. I applied, knew how to organise events and that’s how it started. It was temporary.” Over time, her knowledge and understanding of adop-
tion increased and she began to have a greater understanding of the needs of black and minority ethnic adopters. In addition, she was lucky to come into contact with social workers who had practical experience and anecdotal information about BME groups dating back to the 1960s, which proved invaluable. Through her enthusiasm, attention to detail and creativity, she has helped children find homes. At the IAS, Jane stayed in touch with adopters for several years and they met up at annual parties celebrating adoption. She believes that adoption is a more open process with people willing to talk about
it, which can only be a good sign. Her contribution has been immense, which isn’t bad for somebody who signed up for a temporary job. Adoption event Southwark Council will be hosting an adoption information morning at Peckham Library on 9th March at 11am. Drop in to find out more. It’s informally formal and gives you the chance to ask questions. Southwark is launching an awareness campaign in next month’s edition to recruit more adopters for the Black children in its care, so stay tuned.
Family Matters
MARCH 7 - 13, 2013 THE VOICE | 27
We are family Mums talk motherhood
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3 Yinka Sumonu chats to mothers about motherhood. 1. Model Lisette Mibo LOVE Motherhood has helped me to become a better person and to grow. It took away my selfishness. I have a child who depends on me and every decision I make revolves around her. I want my daughter to grow up as a strong woman, to love herself, be happy and believe in her talents. I believe in firm foundations and if you have those, they stay with you for life. 2. Interior Designer TOKS Aruoture SMILE When my first son was born, I realised that I was responsible for a life. As my sons grow into old age, they will become the sum total of how I raised them. I try to teach them that success is a by product of excellence and strive to erase the negative stereotypes out there about black boys and men. I
encourage them to be the best they can be and hope they will be strong, confident leaders in whatever they choose to do. 3. Mother Tamar and daughter Xanthia GLOW Tamar: My daughter was born with yellow jaundice, which reminded me of a Chrysanthemum flower. That is why I called her Xanthia, as she was born with a yellow glow, and lights up the room when she walks in. It reminds us how precious the gift of a child is. Xanthia: My mother is the modern day Mrs Walton who cooks, bakes, knits, quilts and still makes time to call me several times a day. She is my role model and has paved the way for me. 4. Civil Engineer Reina Mulrooney RESPECT You have to trust the values you give to your children. You have to give them boundaries and educate them about issues such as underage sex, drugs and the value of learning. It’s important that children learn to respect themselves, challenge themselves and be proud of what they can ac-
WHAT MAKES A GOOD MUM?
and help them learn right from wrong.
Aaron A good mum pushes their children to be the best they can be. They have to do it in a way that shows they are helping the children and not in a way that will make the children resentful. Mums need to care for their children, protect them
Reece A good mum speaks politely to her children so that they will talk to her. Say there’s an instance at school that’s giving you a problem, if your mum is good, you wouldn’t be afraid to tell her and she would sort it out.
FAITH AND MENTAL HEALTH CONFERENCE Does spiritualising mental illness help or hinder? Or is it about the proverb ‘Belief Kill and Belief Cure’ Hosted by: Juney
Muhammad
Wednesday 13 March 2013 (Time: 2pm – 8pm)
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Venue: Kingston House (above Carphone Warehouse, opposite Toys ‘R’ Us) 2nd Floor, 777 – 787 Old Kent Road, London SE15 1NZ
complish. Becoming a mother is the best thing I’ve done.
For further information only contact: Email: juney.muhammad@slam.nhs.uk or tel: 020 3228 0973 Please register your attendance with: carolyn.swan@slam.nhs.uk
Café owner Mariana Dos Santos MEMORIES OF GRANDMA On Saturdays, we used to have lunch at my Grandma’s where we would always bake. One Saturday, we made two very large lemon meringue pies. They smelt so good that we ate the meringue and lemon curd while they were still warm, leaving the pie crust behind. I won’t eat lemon meringue pies anymore but I bake them every day to honour my grandmother.
FREE ADMISSION
We asked experts who would know – the children Zack My mum is always there for me. Josh She lets me watch TV. Henry My mum has raised two men despite being told we’d turn out rough. She’s a great role model, letting my brother and I know that we are loved.
Lift Access, Light refreshments (no pork)
GUEST SPEAKERS & CONTRIBUTORS GRADUATES FROM THE SPIRITUAL & PASTORAL CARE COURSE IN MENTAL HEALTH: Pastor Olu Aderele Evangelist John Maforikan Prophetess Mary Omolabi Rev Elva Sulivan Pastor Shirely Roberts Evangelist Ephrain Emmanuel Rev Cameron Langlands - Spiritual and Pastoral Care Team CAMPAIGNER: Matilda McAttram – Black Mental Health UK Insight into understanding cultural norms and values. ACTIVITIES: Rev Douglas - Holy Apostles Theatre Ministry “I’m a Believer get me out of here” Family Health ISIS - Ubuntu Social Living Networks – youth perspective on understanding Mental Illness & recognising signs and symptoms.
DEBATE: Is spirituality & faith more effective than psychiatry or vice versa HEALTH PROFESSIONALS: Dr Dele Olajide - Working with communities Dr Deji Ayonrinde - Chair Debate Dr Jerson Pereira - What is mental illness and how do you get it Dr Jonathan Campion - Prevalence of mental illness Dr Sadie King, The Tavistock Centre – Traditional Healers ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Rev Josiah Anyinsah, Imani Harrison, Professor Jerome Carson, Steven Badger, Dr Louisa Codjoe, Carmine Da Rosa, Julie Odele, Caroline Benker, Angela MacDonald.
All are welcome!
GETTING HERE
Nb. Venue Nearer to New cross end of Old Kent Road, above Carphone Warehouse and opposite Toys Rus Buses: 21, 53, 172, 453, 78, 63, 363, P12, 381. Stations are: South Bermondsey, New Cross Gate, and Elephant & Castle Limited free local parking on nearby side streets within 5 to 10 minutes walk. Supported by South London & Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, NHS Southwark, NHS Lambeth:
Family Matters
28 | THE VOICE MARCH 7 - 13, 2013
Real lives Welcome Real Lives is a column about children, those embarking on their parenting journey through adoption and the people who bring them together.
It’s all about the boys The boys waiting for new adoptive families in Islington are like most other boys you know except at the back of their mind they have a worry about their future. Will they be adopted? Will they have to move on soon? Will they lose their friends? Will they like their new family? Lots of questions that they can’t answer. Some of the boys waiting are almost five or six years old. They understand why the social workers come to visit, what the photographers are doing. They know that all these people are working hard to find new parents for them. As part of their ‘moving on’ work we ask children what they want their new family to be like – sometimes they say ‘I’d like them to
cook chicken and chips’ or ‘I’d like them to have a swimming pool!’. What they mean is they want someone to accept and care for them, someone they can trust - they just don’t know how to say it. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll tell them, we might not find a family with a swimming pool, but chicken and chips shouldn’t be a problem.’ The boys have been living with their foster carers waiting for their new family. They wait because they are five or six years old and for most adopters this is too old. So we need single women to come forward, couples, single men and those with partners to adopt them. We need your help to raise the next generation of doctors, fireman, teachers and plumbers. Share your sense of identity and values with a child who yearns for it. We’re not looking for the perfect parent. We’re looking for families willing to make chicken and chips or something like it! Call 0800 073 3344, email us on adoption@islington.gov.uk
FACTs
Adoptions from Care during the year ending 31st March 2012 3450 children were adopted 50% were boys 50% were girls (source: BAAF)
*names have been changed to protect their identity
New family needed for two little boys Islington’s Adoption Team is on the hunt for a new family to adopt Joshua, six and his little brother Tyrone*, aged four. We offer plenty of support and guidance and will consider a wide range of applicants. The most important thing is that they will love and care for the boys, helping them feel safe and secure through their childhood into adulthood. The boys are in good health and are currently living with their foster family. Joshua is a thoughtful, happy and caring boy who plays well with his friends at school. Little brother Tyrone is affectionate and inquisitive and is fascinated by aeroplanes. Their foster mummy says “both boys are active and fun to be with, they have different personalities and both enjoy individual attention and time with us.” Veronica, the social worker tasked with finding a family for the boys said:
”Joshua and Tyrone are lovely boys and are eager to be settled with a new family. I urge anyone who has thought about adoption and who thinks they have what it takes to be a mum or dad to these young boys to please get in touch” Adoption is a lifelong commitment, practical advice and financial support is available for those who need it. To find out more about adopting Joshua and Tyrone or for a chat about adoption, call Islington 0800 073 3344.
You can email us on adoption@ islington.gov.uk or text on 07786202195 with your name and contact details and we’ll call you back.