FAMILY MATTERS OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 | SPECIAL FEATURE i PAGE 31-41
Fostering & Adoption Special INSIDE: i Black & Asian Children: Still wait the longest to be adopted p33
i Paternity Leave: Fathers who adopt do qualify too p34 i Real lives: Diane Abbott discusses single parenting p38
Family Matters
32 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013
ADVERTORIAL
Just the two of us
Single mum Lydia explains to Family Matters why she decided to become an adoptive parent. FAMILIES COME in all shapes and sizes and like snowflakes no two are exactly the same. While we all dream, from a young age, of having the ‘perfect family’ we eventually realise that there is no such thing as perfection. However, the vast majority of us wouldn’t change our children for anything else in the universe. The same can be said for Lydia*, a 45-‐year-‐old single woman who adopted her daughter Naomi* three years ago. There have been constant debates about single parent families and some parents would not willingly make the decision to raise a child alone, however Lydia was more than happy to start her family alone. After watching an episode of Strictly together followed by putting Naomi to bed, Lydia had a chat with The Voice about why she made the decision to adopt by herself. “My life before Naomi was very work orientated; I worked in an office and I was always the first one in and the last one out, cleaners would come in, leave and I’d still be there working,” explained the mother-‐of-‐one. “Socially I would always be able go out wherever and whenever I wanted, it wasn’t a problem for me because I was only responsible for myself. But I always felt that there was a gap that needed to be filled. I was settled at work, my social circle was fine and I’d done all the partying, all the raves and it was like, I need something else. I’d always thought about adoption, but when I look back, it was usually during the publicity around National Adoption Week.” “I’d jump on the telephone, get the information pack, read through it all, put it
down and just get on with life, that was about ten years ago. But three years ago when I applied I knew the time was right.”
and although she was young, no one had ever said ‘no’ to her, so when I said no, she threw toys, scratched, threw herself on the floor. And it was times like that, that I remembered super nanny and put her on ‘time out’. Along with the fact that she was a very loving child and would run up to strangers and hug them and it was getting her to learn that she can’t hug every person she meets. ”
Lydia explained that for her, preparation was key. She immersed herself in any literature that she could find about adoption and also visited council sponsored adoption open days. “I loved going through the adoption process. Contrary to the horror stories you may have heard, I did not have a bad experience at all and I think it’s partly because of my attitude. It was what I wanted to do, so I made sure I had all the information possible. I downloaded the social worker’s guidelines in order to find out exactly what they had to do and I knew what I had to do. I also went to the North London Adoption Consortium’s open day and I took one of my best friends with me and spoke to people who had been through the adoption process and asked questions that I thought would be relevant to me. I asked about the intrusion of the social workers and how deep they went and I was told not to hide anything. I realised the more open you can be with your social worker the better, and I practically danced out of the open day.” Aware that raising a child alone is a great responsibility, Lydia spoke to her family before she decided to apply as an adoptive parent and was given all the assurance that she needed to see the adoption through. “I knew what I wanted to do and nothing anybody could say to me was going to dissuade me. I spoke to my sister and she said ‘yeah, go for it, you have to, don’t worry about support, you’ve got it.’ I also sat down with mum and she said ‘that would be really good; you’d be a good mum.’
Despite the usual toddler behaviour, Lydia and her family realised in a quirky turn of fate how very similar Naomi was to her.
With my dad being abroad I had to fly out to see him in the Caribbean, he said ‘but you’re a single woman and raising a child isn’t easy. But you have the support of your mum, me, your sister and you’ve got a good circle of friends around you.’ And that was it, for me, I didn’t really have to explain anything.” With the support of her family, Lydia has no regrets, but as she explained, she was never a person who took on other people’s judgements. “Being a single mum or thinking about what people would say about me being single and adopting never worried me, what you see is what you get. I only told my family and a few of my close friends at first until after I was matched with Naomi.
There was even talk at work about restructuring and I thought, well I’m adopting for me, not for work, so whatever happens, happens, this was what I wanted to do.” She added: “I work in an organisation where everyone wants to know everyone’s business and I’m not that type of person, I like to keep my business to myself, the process is hard enough without having people at work question you about it.” After adopting her daughter, Lydia took 18 months off work, like many parents who have a new child, the new mother’s hardest challenge was going back to work. “What was hard for me was going back to work, when it was just us two at home, it was great. I felt like I was
a new person when I went back to work, but I do have the flexibility to work from home and that helps a great deal. It has been hard not being a stay at home mum, who is at the school gates everyday at 3:30. I can’t wait to leave the office to go and collect her.” There were also the usual toddler troubles, having adopted Naomi at the age of three; Lydia says she found out in the first few weeks of having her daughter that she has the patience of a saint. “After week three I was on the phone to my mum, desperate because Naomi started to show her true colours. I discovered she had some temper tantrums. My neighbours must have thought ‘what the hell is going on in that house?’ Naomi had no boundaries
“It’s strange, they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but my gosh it’s really odd because I went through adoption to get her and she is so close to me. She has my mannerisms -‐ according to my parents -‐, I remember when my mum first met her she said ‘she’s just like you’ and that was only after Naomi had been with me a few weeks.. When we are out shopping or at school people usually say that she looks exactly like me, we have the same eyes and the same smile.” Describing their family as just like any other, Lydia says she can’t remember what life was like before her daughter and admits that the adoption was the best thing she had ever done. “Life is just great, she (Naomi) has brought a hell of a lot of joy, and I can’t really remember what life was like before her. Now, no two days are the same and this is life, she’s my child and she knows where she fits into the family. She knows that families are made up of different people and ours is just the two of us. I ask her every now and then how she feels about it and she says ‘I’m happy with that because I know that you love me and I love you, mummy.’” * Names changed for publication.
Family Matters
OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 33
Black and Asian children still wait the longest figures show around only 80 black and 60 Asian to be adopted Recent children were adopted last year from care, representing just 4 per cent of the total figures.
By Jacqueline Asafu-Adjaye, Sponsored Features Editor
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he majority of children in care, around 7 per cent were removed from their birth families due to abuse or neglect. It still takes on average 200 days longer for a black child to be adopted compared to a white child. The Adolescent and Children’s Trust (TACT) is the UK’s largest charity provider of fostering and adoption services. The charity is well known for it’s lobbying and campaigning on behalf of children and young people in care, carers and adoptive families. The charity’s priorities include the challenge of finding permanent, homes for African Caribbean looked after children who often wait the longest.
Garath Crossman, TACT, Executive Director of External Affairs said: “The reality is that African Caribbean children wait too long in our care system. One of our on going top priorities is to find minority and ethnic children in care loving, secure homes and parents. “The shortage of African Caribbean parents coming forwards to foster and adopt children, needs to be addressed. “The majority of children in care are African Caribbean and we would welcome more African Caribbean adopters and foster carers opening their arms to these children, where the shortage is particularly acute.” Fostering in England and Wales is under increasing pressure due to the unprec-
edented rise in numbers of children needing foster care and the shortage of 10,000 foster carers, according to the charity Fostering Network. GREAT NEED Research carried out by the charity found that eight out of ten local authorities saw a rise in the number of children needing foster homes in 2010, a third of whom needed to find families for more than fifty additional children. Today there continues to be a particular need for more foster carers for teenagers and children under four. The shortage of foster carers has led to over forty percent of... Continued on page 37
WAITING: Black and Asian children take longer to be adopted
More fun than a clean kitchen
Adoption: another option
www.hounslow.gov.uk/adoption
Call our friendly team on 020 8583 4494 to book your place on one of our frequent Background to Adoption sessions or email your questions to us at: adoption@hounslow.gov.uk
Family Matters
34 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013
Fathers who adopt qualify for paternity leave too
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f you are a working father, you are entitled to paternity leave when you and your partner have a child. You can also qualify for paternity leave when you adopt a child. Most fathers will be entitled to statutory paternity pay for their paternity leave. Statutory Paternity Pay is paid at the same rate as Statutory Maternity Pay. To qualify for paternity leave for an adoption, you must be employed for at least 26 weeks by the time you are matched with your child for adoption. You will not be entitled to paternity leave or pay if you already know the child, for example, if it’s your stepchild.
Telling the employer about your paternity leave
When can you take paternity leave? If you are taking paternity leave for an adoption, the leave can start either on the day that the child is placed with you, or on a date that has been agreed in advance with your employer. If you are agreeing a later leave date later than the date your child was placed with you, the leave must be completed within 56 days of the adoption date.
You need to be able to show your employer that you are entitled to paternity leave. To do this you must give the employer the following information: s
Your name.
s
The date the baby is due or the date of the birth. If you are adopting a child.
s
You should give the date that you were matched with your child or the date on which the child is placed with you.
s
The date when you would like your paternity leave (and pay) to start.
s
Whether you are taking one or two week’s paternity leave.
s
A declaration that you are entitled to paternity leave.
s
A declaration that you are taking leave to support the mother or care for the child.
With your support he can achieve his goals Islington urgently needs foster carers to look after children of all ages. You don’t need qualifications but you do need to be good with children and be able to keep them healthy and safe. Islington foster carers:
• • • •
can live in a rented or owned home in or near Islington can be couples or single people receive training and 24-hour support receive generous allowances.
To find out more about fostering and WKH QH[W information session, call free now and take the first step towards making a real difference to a child’s life.
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0800 073 0428 or email us at fostering@islington.gov.uk
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Family Matters
OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 35
Your questions on adoption answered
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he national shortage of adopters causes delay for the children seeking adoption placements. Delay itself is consequently putting some groups of children at a relatively greater disadvantage in terms of their adoption chances, because the older the child gets statistically the less likely they are to be adopted. Below are some common concerns around adopting: Aren’t children in care going to have terrible behaviour? Children needing adoption have usually had a very difficult start in life and may have little reason to trust adults. A new child coming into your family may show their distrust and distress through naughty behaviour, tears and tempers or might seem quiet and withdrawn. Some children settle very quickly and others take a long time before they feel that it is safe to trust their new parents. The preparation process will help you learn strategies for dealing with challenging behaviour.
What support will I get? Adoptive families often need extra support. The good news is that government regulations mean adoptive families are now entitled to more support than ever before. This might be advice, information, counselling, financial support or help with accessing benefits or services. Plus once approved you will have access to a small team of Post Adoption Support workers who will offer ongoing support by way of family events, informal support groups and workshops looking at specific issues, as well as providing a support services whenever they need help or advice. Will I be paid if I become an adopter? Parents who adopt are expected to meet the general costs of caring for a child, just like any parent. Some parents may be eligible for financial support. Allowances can range from a single one off payment to help you get started as an adoptive family or longer term - for example if it helps a groups of siblings to stay together. All financial support is means tested.
“Are you my new family?...” Ethan is a delightful 2 year old Liberian/White British boy who is thriving with his foster family. His foster carer describes him as “an engaging and lively boy who likes adult attention and being outdoors.” Ethan has a lovely smile and presents as a sociable child who interacts positively. He is showing age appropriate development emotionally and physically, and he eats and sleeps well at night. Ethan has a good daily routine which includes attending nursery five days per week which he enjoys. He is beginning to talk and also understands instructions well and responds appropriately. He has a wide and varied diet and a healthy appetite – he particularly enjoys eating fruits and chicken. Ethan enjoys playing independently with his toys and cars both indoors and outdoors. His enjoyments include playing football, climbing and visiting the local park. He is generally a contented boy who enjoys interacting with other children and adults with whom he is familiar, and likes to sometimes involve them in his play. He likes to spend time with his carer’s children and granddaughter. Ethan enjoys watching Pepper Pig and Sooty and Sweep. If he hears a familiar tune on the television, he stops what he is doing and has a jig with a smile.
Picture posed by model.
Ethan has a good attachment with his carer and her family and will seek her out for comfort and reassurance. He has two siblings who have been successfully adopted. They want to have contact with him after his adoption.
Ethan needs a one or two parent family who can promote his cultural identity and provide a loving and stable family home. Ethan is not his real name to protect his identity
FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT: Email: Telephone:
adoption@derby.gov.uk 01332 643 829
Family Matters
36 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013
Children’s Laureate named most influential black person in Britain
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hildren’s author and literacy campaigner Malorie Blackman has been named as the most influential black person in Britain. She tops the seventh annual edition of ‘The Powerlist: Britain’s 100 Most Influential Black People’, launched at a star-studded central London event recently. The list is sponsored by Lloyds Banking Group and Thomson Reuters and selected by an independent panel, chaired by Vivian Hunt, a Director at McKinsey & Co. Nominees must be of African or African Caribbean heritage, born or living in the UK, and are selected on the basis of their ‘ability to alter events and change lives’ at the very highest level. The top ten for 2014 also includes a financial adviser, a CEO, two MPs, a barrister, an Olympic athlete, an artist and film director, an actor, a civil rights campaigner and a space scientist. The rest of the list covers a wide range of professions from engineers to investment bankers. Introducing The Powerlist 2014, Prime Minister David Cameron wrote: “I want the United Kingdom to be a land of opportunity. A land where anyone, regardless of their race, faith or background can make it to the top of every aspect of life. Role models - many of whom appear in the pages of this publication - play a huge part in this. Their stories inspire and enthuse younger generations into emulat-
ing and even surpassing the achievements of those they admire.” 60 BOOKS FOR CHILDREN & YOUNG ADULTS Born in London in 1962, Malorie Blackman trained in computer science and worked in computing, before publishing her first book at the age of 28. She has since written 60 books for children and young adults, often addressing issues, which resonate powerfully with her readers, such as an organ transplant in ‘Pig-Heart Boy’ and race relations in the ‘Noughts & Crosses’ series. As the new Children’s Laureate (a twoyear appointment that started in June 2013) she has already been quoted in the media speaking out against the closure of libraries and new policies in state education, whilst advocating for a “more inclusive society”. Malorie Blackman comments: “I am deeply honoured to be chosen as Number One on the Powerlist. Highlighting so many black people in such diverse different spheres is such an inspiring thing. It challenges stereotypes and shows that many people that are achieving great things. It’s a fantastic showcase of the amazing success stories that often go unreported. It’s a real honour to be among such company.” Malorie is the first author to head the list, joining a ‘Hall of Fame’ that includes David Adjaye, Tidjane Thiam, Baroness Scotland,
Baroness Amos and Dr Mo Ibrahim. In second place on this year’s list is Ken Olisa, who runs his own boutique technology merchant bank, Restoration Partners, and is a non-executive director at Thomson Reuters. This year he led the flotation of Outsourcery on the London AIM exchange, raising £13m and achieving a market cap of £40m as the first technology IPO in London. His philanthropy work has included a £2m donation to a new library at Fitzgerald College, Cambridge, opened in 2010 and this year renamed The Olisa Library. Matthew Ryder QC, one of the UK’s leading criminal, public law and human rights barristers, is in third position. With a practice which focuses on the overlap between crime, media and information law, he has represented several witnesses before the Leveson Inquiry, as well as many journalists and others under investigation. Last year he represented the family of Ian Tomlinson, the newspaper seller who died in G20 protests in 2009, secured an appeal for the ex-chair of the Black Police Association Ali Dizaei and won appeals for 20 environmental protestors arising from the activity of undercover police. He is currently lead counsel in claims brought by Liberty relating to both US and UK internet surveillance operations disclosed by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.
MA in Therapeutic Fostering and Adoption Commencing: London - January 2014 Manchester - February 2014 In partnership with Middlesex University Developed in consultation with ‘By The Bridge’ therapeutic fostering organisation, our two-year part time programme provides an in-depth training for those working with children and young people who have been fostered and adopted.
For full details, please contact our Academic Coordinator, Joanne Dickie (joanne.dickie@metanoia.ac.uk) or call her on 020 8579 2505/020 8832 3087 (direct line) www.metanoia.ac.uk Metanoia Institute, 13 North Common Road, Ealing, London, W5 2QB Registered Charity 1050175
Adopt a life The Royal Borough of Greenwich is looking to recruit adopters from all walks of life and especially welcomes enquiries from Black and minority ethnic families who are able to provide a child with a loving, stable and secure home.
Adopt with Royal Greenwich
For details of our information sessions, contact the adoption team on 020 8921 2752 or www.royalgreenwich.gov.uk/adoption
Family Matters Continued from page 33
...foster carers looking after a child who are not trained or approved to look after them. Robert Tapsfield, chief executive of the Fostering Network, said: “Fostering services had been making progress in recruiting more foster carers and finding children the right foster family, but this has clearly been pushed back by the unprecedented rise in children coming into foster care. “Fostering services are working really hard to find the right foster family for every child, but with such a shortage of foster carers they are faced with a huge challenge. “In some areas there are simply no spare beds. Children are being sent further away from their schools and friends, and sometimes to foster carers who don’t have the skills and experience to deal with the child’s specific needs. Some local authorities are saying that it is the worst it has ever been.” On any one day there are more than 62,000 children living with foster families across the UK. The Fostering Network estimates that a further 9,000 foster carers are needed this year alone to provide the supportive, stable and caring home for these vulnerable children. Whilst leading children’s charity Adoption UK believes
any focus on recruiting adopters must go hand-in-hand with good support packages, including financial ones, both to encourage new adopters and ensure the long-term success of adoptive placements. Decreases in both adoptions and placements during 2010 to 2011 were blamed on fewer adoptive parents being available for the higher numbers of children in care. However, recent figures show 3,980 looked after children adopted in England during the year ending 31 March 2013 - a rise of 15 per cent on the previous year and an increase of 20 per cent since 2009. POSITIVE OUTCOMES Hugh Thornbery, Chief Executive at Adoption UK said: “It is very encouraging that adoptions are on the rise. Adoption offers positive outcomes for children from the care system, providing them with a permanent family that many of them might not have if they remained in the system. “Whilst the increase in adoptions to record levels is welcomed news, the lack of any significant reduction in the length of time that looked after children awaiting adoption wait to be matched with prospective adopters is disappointing. The Government needs to remain committed to
OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 37
recruiting more adoptive parents and continue their work ensuring the adoption process is robust and accessible. We look forward to the delivery of the Government’s proposals to open up the national adoption register to adopters as we believe this will significantly improve the quality and speed of the matching process. “It is important to remember that any focus on recruiting adopters must go handin-hand with good support packages, both to encourage new adopters and ensure the long-term success of adoptive placements. “With the majority of looked after children being placed in care due to abuse or neglect Adoption UK knows from its membership that appropriate support packages are vital for those parenting some of society’s most traumatised children.”
Is Adoption or Fostering For You? Share Your Views on our Facebook page Voicenewspaper
Adopt for Leeds - start your journey today!
Leeds City Council is the largest adoption service in the north, providing permanent homes for around 130 children. Our children come from a range of backgrounds, but they all have one thing in common - they are looking for a home with patience, understanding and loving kindness from someone they can trust.
We need adopters for children from a mixed heritage. In Leeds we have a number of children from a black or minority ethnic background and the majority of these are of mixed heritage. We are particularly looking for adopters who can understand and reflect the needs of a child from a black, Asian or mixed heritage background.
We need ordinary people who can do something extraordinary for a child in Leeds. There’s no such thing as a typical adopter – we have married and unmarried couples who adopt, single people and gay and lesbian couples. Some already have children of their own, some don’t – but all have the desire to bring joy to the lives of children who want a permanent home. This could be you!
Adoption is exciting and challenging. Adoption is an exciting, challenging life-long commitment. Our adopters are supported throughout the whole process by our highly experienced, dedicated adoption support team rated as ‘Outstanding’ by Ofsted. We have a comprehensive programme of pre- and postadoption training and support – from stay and play sessions to more in depth workshops and help from a range of other adopters, professionals and organisations in Leeds.
For us the decision was fairly easy because we wanted a child to reflect our background. We wanted a dual heritage child and now we’ve got an absolutely beautiful daughter who’s changed our lives forever and it’s been a wonderful experience. Eric and Suzanne, adopters in Leeds.
All applications are assessed confidentially, independently and on an individual basis.
Visit www.adopt4leeds.co.uk for more information, or call us on 0113 395 2072
Family Matters
38 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013
Diane Abbott on single parenting By Dianne Abbott MP, Hackney North
I
have studied history at Cambridge. I was the first black woman to be elected to Parliament. I have been an MP for twenty two years. I have faced innumerable stormy audiences. And recently I went with the British Army into a war zone in Afghanistan. But I have no hesitation in saying that the most challenging thing I have ever done is be a mum. My son is twenty-three and I do not think that there has ever been a day when I have not worried about him. Nothing prepares you for being a mum. No book can really tell you what to do. Once upon a time most of us would have brought up our children within an extended family with wise old grannies and aunties on call. And I know that many of my readers will be lucky enough to bring up their children in the bosom of a large and stable family. But I know that many of you will
be like me a single mum struggling to bring up your children and hold down a job too. And like many of us my family are scattered and time poor. Bringing up a boy is particularly challenging. As a reasonable successful woman I would have felt quite confident giving a girl tips on how to navigate through life. But taking a black boy through from boyhood to manhood is a huge responsibility. Only this week I read about how the police accused sixty year old black Harvard academic and writer Professor “Skip” Gates of breaking into his own home. Even when he showed the white policeman two sets of ID, the policeman insisted on dragging him out of his own home, putting handcuffs and making him spend five hours in a cell. SOLUTIONS REQUIRED Apparently the policeman did not like the way Professor Gates spoke to him. So, no matter how distinguished you are, a black man is always at risk. And part of trying
to bring up a black boy is trying to help him learn how to deal with these situations. Nobody wants their child to see racism where none exists. And nobody wants their child to be unduly servile. But over thirty years in public life I have had to comfort too many black mothers who said goodbye to their son in the morning only to receive a phone call in the evening that he is being held by the police, In some sad cases the boy will have received injuries “resisting arrest” and in a handful of tragic cases he will have died in police custody. So teaching a black boy how to deal with the authorities is not the least of mothers’ responsibilities. And I have campaigned for years on black underachievement in school; particularly our boys. I held my first event on the issue in 1999. I called it Hackney Schools and the Black Child It was packed out and people came from as far a field as Birmingham they were so desperate to meet and talk about the issue. Since then the initiative has grown and grown.
TIME TO
t p o d A To find out more about becoming an adopter contact us at:
adoption.enquiries@croydon.gov.uk or call 0800 389 0129 We look forward to hearing from you!
We need people to adopt to improve life chances for Croydon’s children!
Family Matters
OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 39
Victory for Fair and Square with huge free school meal boost Children Society- charity of the month By Jacqueline Asafu-Adjaye, Sponsored Features Editor
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he recent announcement from the government making free school meals available to 1.4 million more children marks a significant step forward. This landmark move means 200,000 more children living in poverty will be able to rely on at least one hot, nutritious meal every school day – and will help hard-pressed families across the country in the face of rising costs and food prices. A free school meal will be offered to all school children in reception, year 1 and year 2. It will also lead to around
160,000 disadvantaged college students being offered a free school meal. The Children’s Society, through its Fair and Square campaign, has been tirelessly campaigning for every school child in poverty to be entitled to a free school meal. Matthew Reed, Chief Executive of The Children’s Society, said: ‘Making free school meals available to 1.4 million more children marks an historic step forward in the fight against child poverty. ‘It also marks a significant victory for The Children’s Society’s Fair and Square campaign, which has galvanised over 100,000 people across the country to call for free school meals to be available to many
more children in poverty. ‘This latest move clearly shows that the government is recognising the hardship that thousands of families are facing. This will lead to 200,000 more poor children being given the chance to get a free, nutritious meal at school.’ The Children’s Society added that it is vital that momentum is not lost. An imminent announcement about what to do about free school meals under changes to the benefit system, through Universal Credit, could pave the way to lift other school children not covered by this announcement, out of poverty. FAST FACT FILE: s #URRENTLY CHILDREN are not entitled to a free school
meal despite their need because their parents work. This announcement will cut this number by 200,000. s MILLION CHILDREN IN THE UK are living in poverty. In February, 2013, The Children’s Society and 38 Degrees handed in The Fair and Square petition of 90,000 signatures calling for the government to make free school meals available to all children living in poverty. s 3IX IN CHILDREN LIVING IN poverty are in low-income working families. s 4HE #HILDREN S 3OCIETY WANTS to create a society where children and young people are valued, respected and happy.
We are committed to helping vulnerable and disadvantaged young people, including children in care and young runaways. s 4HIS CHARITY GIVES A VOICE TO disabled children, helps young
refugees to rebuild their lives and provide relief for young carers. Through their campaigns and research, they seek to influence policy and perceptions so that young people have a better chance in life.
m e h t Help
l a e r t i make
Family Matters
40 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013
ADVERTORIAL
Home is where Ekaya is… 25 years in existence and still going strong, residents tell The Voice how this housing association transformed their lives CASE STUDY
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after families that last
hantelle, was forced to leave home very young and moved into Ekaya’s Supported Housing, due to an unplanned preg-
nancy. After two years of support she was successfully moved into her own home and went on to fulfil her aspirations, completing her Social Work BA at Brunel University and now works as a Locum Support Worker for Ekaya, at the service she lived at formerly as well as managing a Parent Support Service. “While at Ekaya Supported Housing, my Support Worker made me feel comfortable and safe; I was given reassurance about my future. I had the opportunity to build positive
National Adoption Week 4th - 10th November Give a child the safe, secure, forever family they need this National Adoption Week. 25% of the children in the care system are black, asian or of mixed heritage. Last year these children made up only 15% of those who were adopted. We need more adopters from our communities to come forward and provide these children with the love and stability that they deserve. To find out about one of our Exploring Adoption events or to meet some of the children we are family finding for visit www.afteradoption.org.uk.
Call: 0300 456 2656
Text: ADOPT to 60777
relationships with mothers in a similar situation and explore areas of my life that I needed to focus on and link to other agencies and volunteering opportunities. Upon leaving Ekaya Supported Housing, I was visited by an Ekaya Floating Support Officer as part of my follow on support and accessed a number of programmes which later led to me obtaining a part time post within a local Youth Club. In 2008 I completed a Social Work BA at Brunel University and I am currently a Locum Support Worker for Ekaya. I strongly believe in the ethos and support offered to young parents at a time of confusion and remember the support that helped to shape my future.” “While at Ekaya Supported Housing, my Support Worker made me feel comfortable and safe.”
Family Matters
OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 41
ADVERTORIAL
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elcome to the first instalment in a four week special about adoption in Brent. Over the next four weeks, we will be covering different aspects of adoption and the support available. THIS WEEK: t 3FBTPOT XIZ DIJMESFO are in care t &MJHJCJMJUZ t .ZUI CVTUFST REASONS WHY CHILDREN ARE IN CARE? Children in the care of local authorities are one of the most vulnerable groups in society. The majority of children in care will have suffered abuse or neglect. All of them will have experienced separation; loss and instability at a young age and often feel rejected and responsible for their situation. For some of these children, adoption offers the stability and security that they desperately need as well as the opportunity to grow up in a permanent loving family. There are currently around 4,000 children across the UK waiting for a new adoptive family from a wide range of different backgrounds and with
varying needs. WHO ARE THE CHILDREN WAITING FOR ADOPTIVE FAMILIES? In Brent the majority of children in care live with foster carers. As Brent has one of the most diverse populations in the UK, most of the children in the care of Brent are from Black African, Black British Caribbean or mixed heritage backgrounds. Whilst we make every effort to return the child to their birth family if at all possible, sometimes this is not an option and in these circumstances adoption is considered as an alternative permanent plan. Some of the children needing to be adopted in Brent are of primary school age and many of them are in sibling groups of two or three who need to be placed together. Sadly some groups of siblings have to be split up because no suitable adoptive families come forward to offer a home for them. Some have physical and/or learning disabilities, and others because of neglect in their early years or drug or alcohol use during pregnancy have developmental problems and a degree of future uncertainty. A child’s new adoptive family need to have lots of energy, time and understanding in or-
ELIGIBILITY People from all walks of life can adopt. Adopters can be: 1. Single or a couple (including same-sex couples). 2. From any racial, cultural or religious background. 3. Either employed or on benefits and, 4. You don’t need to own your own home. 5. You do need to be over 21 but there is no statutory upper age limit.
3. I can’t adopt because I’m gay. Sexuality is not a barrier to adoption and Brent has Lesbian and Gay adopters’ as well as heterosexual adopters. 4. I work full time so I’m not allowed to adopt/I’m unemployed or too poor to adopt. Your financial circumstances and employment status will need to be considered as part of an adoption assessment, but low income or your employment status do not automatically rule you out. You can be an adoptive parent while on benefits so long as you can financially provide for a child.
MYTH BUSTERS 1. I’m single, so I can’t adopt. Single people can adopt, whatever their gender. Many single people have successfully adopted children but it is important that they have a good support network.
5. I can’t adopt because I have a criminal record. If you have a criminal caution or conviction for offences against children or offences of a sexual nature then you will not be able to adopt but, with the exception of these specified offences, a criminal record will not necessarily rule you out. The key is to be totally honest in your application.
2. I’m too old to adopt. Adopters need to be over 21 but there is no statutory upper age limit. However, we will expect you to have the health, mobility and vitality to see your children through to an age of independence. Consideration will be given to your age comparative to the age of the child you want to adopt.
6. I have children living at home, so I won’t be able to adopt. Not true. Having children of your own (of any age) will certainly not exclude you from adopting, whether they are living at home with you or have grown up. Consideration will, however, be given to the age gap between your own children
Get together and feel all right
adopt Brent
You can change a child’s life call 020 8937 4525 www.brent.gov.uk/adoption
and the age of the child(ren) you wish to adopt and the position of each child within the family in accordance with the child(ren)s’ needs. Children over 16 will usually be police checked, as will any other adult member of your household. 7. I won’t be allowed to adopt because I can’t have my own children. It is really important that anyone wanting to be an adoptive parent understands their own motivations. We will expect you to discuss both emotional and medical issues with us. If you have had or are undergoing fertility treatment we will expect you to complete any medical investigations and fertility treatments before considering adoption. The emotional demands in pursuing either route to parenthood can be great and doing both in tandem is not encouraged. 8. I can’t adopt because I smoke. Smoking will not necessarily rule you out from adopting. Consideration will be given to this and to all health and lifestyle related issues and we will want to know of any specific health risks to you or to the children who may be placed in your care. There is no single national policy on smoking; however according to national medical advice children under five and
those with particular medical conditions should not be placed in smoking households. You will usually need to be smokefree for at least six months before adoption from these groups can be considered. 9. I am disabled so will not be allowed to adopt. Being disabled should not automatically exclude anyone from becoming an adopter and it is widely recognised that disabled people can often provide a very loving home for a child. Disability is only one of the many issues that will be considered by us so don’t rule yourself out before you have had a conversation with us. 10. I can’t adopt a child from a different ethnic background. Not true. The aim for everyone in the adoption system is to find loving suitable families for each child in need of a happy future, even if there is not a perfect racial and cultural match. However, a child’s identity is very important and you must have an understanding of the challenges of raising a child of a different ethnicity and the ability to promote their racial, cultural and religious background. Q To find out more about adoption in Brent contact: adoption@brent.gov.uk www.brent.gov.uk/adoption 020 8937 4525
Library photo posed by models. © John Birdsall, Photofusion.
We are family!
der to be able to meet all their competing and sometimes complex needs. In Brent we endeavour to find adopters who reflect or can promote a child’s racial, cultural and religious backgrounds.