MADE Paper Issue 20 December 2014

Page 1

A Free Independent Newspaper

Issue 20 DECEMBER 2014

News, Makers & Trends of the New South

MADE EXPLAINS: HANnuKaH & The dreidel

MADEPAER.COM

CHRISTMAS: PAST & PRESENT • pOP ROCKS FOR YOUR STOCKING • The Legend of CHEST HAir friday • HOME INVASIONS


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VISIT THE HAMPSTEAD INFORMATION OFFICE & MODEL OPEN DAILY CALL FORREST MEADOWS AT 270.6730 HAMPSTEAD IS LOCATED ON TAYLOR ROAD, 1.5 MILES SOUTH OF VAUGHN ROAD INTERSECTION Town building, design, & construction are an evolving process. The Hampstead master plan, features, floor plans, & pricing may change without notice due to a variety of considerations. Any illustrations are artist’s depictions only & may differ from completed improvements. This is not an offer to sell real estate property. Information is correct but not warranted. Void where prohibited by law. Equal Housing Opportunity.© 2014


MONTGOMERY

PUBLISHER MADE Paper

Issue 20 DECEMBER 2014

EDITORS Brent Rosen, Anna Lowder, Caroline Nabors Rosen, Harvi Sahota CREATIVE DIRECTOR Harvi Sahota DESIGN Matter www.iheartmatter.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Brent Rosen, Caroline Nabors Rosen, Anna Lowder, Andrea Jean, Heather Steen, Tiffany Bell, Will Abner, Johnny Veres, Sam Wootten, Jennifer Kornegay, Melissa Tsai, Tom Jean, Edwin Marty, Evans Bailey, Tina Hofer Medico, Robert Wool, Elliot Knight, Mark Bowen, Christian Kerr, Rebecca Seung, David Mowery, Brian Carroll, Blake Rosen, Josh Carples, Katie Lindgren, Natilee McGruder, Caroline Taylor, Skye Borden, Katie Vega, Rachel Fisher, Amy Collins, Devin Yates

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Harvi Sahota, Grace Photography, Josh Moates, Jonathon Kohn, Ryan Muirhead, Luke Lindgren, Thomas Lucas DESIGN CONTRIBUTORS Jay Wilkins, Alex Lazzari, Rachel Odom AD SALES Devin Yates devin@madepaper.com

Made is a free, independent newspaper published monthly. ISSUE 20 DECEMBER 2014 DISCLAIMER: Made publishes news and commentary, critique and reporting, offering different views from our community. Our contributors offer a variety of views and perspectives on subjects covered in Made. These views and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. Due to the nature of creative industries and the connections we foster with those around us, contributors may have some personal or professional connection with people, events, or organizations covered in the publication or website. All letters, messages, and emails sent to Made will be treated as intended for publication unless otherwise noted by the author. Letters and emails may be edited for space and content. Made celebrates the rich history of a free press and is proud to continue to strengthen this tradition.

CONTENTS © 2014 by Made Paper. Reproduction in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the publisher’s express written approval is prohibited. The publication is free, limit two per reader. Removal of more than two papers from any distribution point constitutes theft. Violators are subject to prosecution under city ordinances.

MADE PAPER 505 Cloverdale Road, Unit 102 Montgomery, Alabama 36106 CALL 334.223.4862 EMAIL editor@madepaper.com

COVER PHOTO: JOSH MOATES

03 Column 04 CHRISTMAS: PAST & PRESENT 05 MADE EXPLAINS 06 CHRISTMAS SONGS 07 FILM 08 Music 10 LOCAL 14 DRINK 15 Style

PAGE 10

MADE is a collective of citizens celebrating the local, the authentic, and the unique. We are creatives featuring other creatives and the engaging work being produced in our city. We call attention to all fields forging new pathways in expression and innovation. We are makers who love to eat, talk, collaborate, question, party, and laugh, and we want you to take part. Thanks for reading this and supporting the artists, craftsmen, creatives, and active citizens that make a city thrive.

Words BRENT ROSEN As promised, MADE has finally entered the digital age with an updated

Latin American and Korean cuisine Montgomery is currently enjoying as

website. Now you can turn to www.madepaper.com for our story

it becomes a “New South” melting pot, moving beyond simple black and

archives, special web features, and soon-to-come web exclusives like

white as new immigrants come to Montgomery for jobs and opportunities.

videos and podcasts based on our stories. Much thanks goes out to Matter’s entire web development team, Harvi Sahota, Jay Wilkins, and

Speaking of black and white — for the historically inclined, the entire

Brian Carroll. Brian deserves special mention, as he not only designed

history of the American South lives here. We have the homes of civil rights

most of the site architecture, but spent hours going through all of the

leaders and civil rights villains. You can wander through churches where

stories we’ve ever written and categorizing them as “food,” “makers,”

boycotts and protests were planned. We are about to celebrate the 50th

“features,” etc., in order to best organize the site for our readers. At one

anniversary of the march from Selma to here. Want older? Montgomery has

point he looked over at me and asked if the Thirsty Thursday story

the first White House of the Confederacy and the telegraph station that

should go under “Features” or “Drink,” and I thought about it for a

cabled the order to fire on Fort Sumter. Martin Luther King, Hank Williams,

minute and said, “mmmmh…. Both?”

F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rosa Parks, Big Momma Thornton, Nat “King” Cole, Octavia Spencer have all called Montgomery home.

Our goal at MADE has always been to find the exciting, interesting, unexpected and overlooked in Montgomery and the surrounding area and

We need to start telling our story better. I know a guy who recently

to present those stories to a wider audience. As a result of our web team’s

graduated law school and works in Birmingham. He grew up in Alexander

hard work, we can now share the great things happening in and around

City and his family home is on Lake Martin. When he was in law school he

Montgomery not just within our community through the paper, but to the

was in the top 10% of his class, which means he could basically choose

wider world. Our website will allow us to go farther, bringing the best of

where he wanted to live and work. He chose Birmingham, after narrowing

the Montgomery area to our region, to Alabama, and to the world.

things down to Nashville, Birmingham, and Atlanta. Montgomery was not even on his radar, even though he would be 45 minutes away from his

We hope that by spreading the good word about Montgomery we can truly

family’s house. On a lake. If this guy spent the rest of his life living in

demonstrate to outsiders that Montgomery is “better thank you think.”

Montgomery rather than Birmingham, he would personally add millions of

MADE can now be a tool to reintroduce the wider world to Montgomery.

dollars to Montgomery’s economy. We are not even in the recruiting

For too long people have been able to say things like the following

conversation right now. We can’t let that keep happening.

unchecked: “I wouldn’t even stop there for gas,” or “there’s nothing to do in Montgomery,” or, and I heard this one first-hand and was stunned by the

Worse still, we lose many of the young college graduates who grew up in

lack of awareness, “I’m not driving to Montgomery from Birmingham past

Montgomery, mainly because they think there is nothing to do here. So,

all of Frank Stitt’s joints just to eat at the Elite Restaurant.”

here is our request: Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, on Twitter. Read our website. When you are in from out of town, pick up a hard copy of

As the quote about the Elite ably demonstrates, most of Montgomery’s

MADE at one of our dozens of stockists. Especially if you are originally

biggest detractors haven’t been here in years. Many of the places that I

from Montgomery and you’ve since moved away.

frequent — Aviator, Leroy, the relocated Capitol Oyster Bar, True, the relocated La Jolla, Central — are all less than five years old. At the same

Look, I get it. Until the last few years there wasn’t much in Montgomery

time, older standards like Jubilee, Bud’s, El Rey, the Capitol Grille, Davis

to keep you here. But all of those things you left for greener pastures for?

Cafe, Destin Connection, Sous La Terre, 1048, Sundown East, Corsino’s,

They’re here now. Plus, all those super-local, in-the-know holes in a wall

and Derk’s Filet and Vine remain some of the best and most exciting

you’re always searching for in Birmingham, Atlanta or New York? That’s

places in town. This all before talking about the explosion in authentic

everywhere here. Keep an eye on what we are doing and try and keep up.

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

03


Words ANNA LOWDER & CAROLINE ROSEN

PHOTO COURTESY ROBERTSON’S PHOTOGRAPHY & ALABAMA DEPARTMENT OF ARCHIVES & HISTORY

Christmas. It happens every year, and every year it happens earlier. I walked into Rite Aid at the beginning of November looking for a Tide pen to get the Halloween candy out of my kid’s jeans and boom, someone had carpet-bombed the place with candy canes, garland, and animatronic reindeer in an attempt to eliminate Thanksgiving once and for all. I saw Thanksgiving briefly at the end of November, so I know it escaped with it’s life, but next year I’d be surprised if it even lingers around long enough to remind us we used to call corn “maize.” Since this is Montgomery, chances are you are a Christian, so we can skip the Rosen-style history lesson and get straight to the traditions. Most cities have zombie christmas traditions — alive but not living, lurching ever forward, a cadaverous slog rather than a dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh. But Montgomery is different: our Christmas traditions burn fast and bright, luminescent even, like those few moments of clarity you retain after a night of Fireball and overly competitive flip-cup. Remember Santa at Normandale? Remember the Christmas House on Boultier? How about Loveman’s? Montgomery’s Christmas traditions don’t last long, but when they’re on, they’re as fun as finding a $20 bill in the pocket of the tacky Christmas cardigan you haven’t worn since last year. Our Christmas guide won’t have you stuck in the house playing an incomprehensible, 2,000-year-old con game. Instead, do this stuff before it’s gone:

CLOVERDALE-IDELWILDE December 23, 7:00 p.m. Cloverdale-Idlewild is like Cloverdale’s little brother that took about 10 years too long before finding himself, but now he’s got a great job, a steady girlfriend, and hasn’t been kicked out of anywhere for at least a couple of years. Things are going great for Cloverdale-Idlewild, so why not join the neighborhood in its Christmas celebration on December 23? On that night the neighborhood will gather together for caroling, enthusiasm valued more highly than skill. The event ends at Cloverdale Bottom Park (Cloverdale and Ponce de Leon Streets) where a “drink cart” with hot chocolate and a bonfire welcome carolers. If you would like to have the carolers stop by your home or would like to join in, contact Charlie Colvin. You know how. Just kidding, it’s thecolvins@knology.net

BORDER OF DALRAIDA AND CAPITOL HEIGHTS, Whenever’s Dark The gray area between Dalraida and Capitol Heights bursts with color during the Christmas season, with lights, inflatables, and snowman sculptures littering the neighborhood with holiday cheer. No other neighborhood in Montgomery has a higher ratio of houses with lights to houses without. Make a pit stop at Key Largo if you run low on provisions. The whole driving around looking at Christmas lights thing makes me wonder — shouldn’t driving around looking at people’s houses feel creepier than it does? If you asked me, “what are you going to do tomorrow night,” and I responded, “I don’t know, thinking about driving around Dalraida looking at people’s houses,” you wouldn’t find that a bit strange. But shouldn’t you?

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014

ALABAMA SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL Through December 24, 2014 Since I haven’t gone to see the show yet, I don’t feel comfortable reviewing a Christmas Carol, other than to say that people whose opinions I trust have enjoyed it. Instead, I’d like to talk about a dream of mine: a production called Back to a Christmas Carol. In Back to a Christmas Carol, Scrooge realizes as an old man that he is a total jerk, and also Tiny Tim has invented a time machine. Scrooge convinces Tiny Tim to take him back to the past so that he can teach himself the true spirit of Christmas. But because he cannot meet himself without creating a tear in the space time continuum, it actually falls on Tiny Tim to do the convincing. So Tiny Tim enlists the help of people to play ghosts from the various phases of past Scrooge’s life, and future Scrooge tells the actors what to say to past Scrooge to convince him to be less of a jerk. After it’s over, everyone goes back in time to hunt dinosaurs. Curtain.


DEXTER AVE., December 19th, 6:15 p.m.

Celebrate this special season with the Capital City’s very merry Christmas Parade filled

Capital City Christmas Parade

with oh-so-jolly floats and

Friday, December 19, 2014 - 6:15pm

festivities. Gather your friends

Parade route from Capitol Steps to Fountain

And loved ones for a night that is sure to make all your Christmas dreams come true!

2014 float contest Entry categories include Business Floats, Floats by Adults, and Floats by Children/Youth. Float staging held at Cramton Bowl. Sponsored by:

F or m or e in f or mat io n c ont act Denise Welch, 334.625.2100 dwelch@montgomeryal.gov

THE CLOVERDALE PLAYHOUSE December 11-21 Adapted by Joe Landry from the screenplay by Frank Capra, Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, and Johanna Sperling. This beloved American holiday classic comes to captivating life as a live 1940s radio broadcast on the Playhouse stage. With the help of an ensemble that brings dozens of characters to life, the story of idealistic George Bailey unfolds as he considers ending his life one fateful Christmas Eve. All plays run Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets and info at cloverdaleplayhouse.org.

There will be floats and festivities on the route between the Capitol steps and the Court Street Fountain. The parade draws a huge crowd of families, and the bright lights, pretty colors, and handsome cops on friendly horses offer something for everyone. Don’t let your children wander too far and get in between a camera and Mayor Strange. If you are one of those “nothing ever happens in Montgomery” people and you haven’t been to the Christmas Parade, just admit that the problem is you and not Montgomery and stop complaining.

THE ANNUAL PRATTVILLE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING Holiday festivities kicked off in Prattville on December 1st with its annual tree lighting at Heritage Park and the Musgrove Fountain. Followed by a “Winter Wonderland” visit from Santa, the town’s Christmas Parade drew hundred of residents to the annual community celebration.

Words BRENT ROSEN

On Tuesday, December 16 at sundown, Jews across Montgomery will begin the celebration of Hanukkah. Like all of my favorite Jewish holidays, Hanukah celebrates a time in history where the Jews narrowly avoided extinction at the hands of a powerful outside force. In Hanukkah’s case, the outside force was the Syrian-Greek Selucid empire that invaded Israel in 168 B.C.E. After the Selucids invaded, the practice of Judaism was outlawed and the holy Temple in Jersualem was turned into a shrine to the Greek God Zeus. The Jews were ordered to worship Greek gods and were forced to bow down before idols and eat the forbidden flesh of the pig. The Jewish resistance was led by Mattathias ben Johanan, a high priest and badass in rural Modi’in. When his village was gathered together by the Greeks and ordered to worship idols and eat bacon, the Greeks demanded he, as high priest, to be the first to partake. Mattatias refused. Another villager offered to stand in for Mattatias and eat the pork, and this did not sit well with Mattatias. Rather than see his religion profaned, Mattatias drew his sword, killing first the other villager who sold out his religion and then the Greek officer who disrespected his beliefs. Mattatias’ five sons subsequently joined the fight, killing the remaining Greek soldiers. Mattatias and his family headed for the hills after killing the Syrian-Greeks, starting what must be one of the earliest guerrilla wars in history. Known as the Maccabees, the Jewish fighters used their super knowledge of the terrain and support of the local population to slowly chip away at the Syrian army through ambushes and sneak attacks. Eventually, the Selucid’s could no longer continue to suffer defeat after defeat, and they were forced

out of Israel by the Maccabee army. Once the Selucid’s were gone, the Jewish victors sought to rededicate the Temple in Jerusalem. The Jews removed the idols, the altars, and the pigs. After cleaning house, the priests went looking for the kosher oil used to light the Temple’s Menorah. Unfortunately, only one flask of oil remained, enough to light the lamp for just one day. The Jews filled the Menorah with the remaining oil, but somehow, the Menorah burned for not one, not two, not three, but eight days — long enough for the Jews to prepare a fresh supply of kosher menorah-oil. Jewish priests determined that divine intervention was the only way possible for the lamp to have burned for so long. The priests declared it a miracle, and an eight day festival in commemoration, known as Hannukah, was born. Now that the history is out of the way, let’s talk about the vice. Gambling on games of Dreidel is an important part of any Hanukkah celebration. The Dreidel is a four-sided top, and each side has one Jewish letter: ‫( נ‬Nun), ‫( ג‬Gimel), ‫( ה‬Hei), ‫( ש‬Shin), which together form the acronym for "‫"םש היה לודג סנ‬ (Nes Gadol Hayah Sham – "a great miracle happened there"). At the beginning of the game, each person antes up the decided upon currency, sometimes money, sometimes candy, other times a combination of candy and money known as Hannukah gelt —gold leaf covered chocolates in the shape of coins (pictured and not to be confused with Jew Gold). There is really no limit to the number of people who can play. Each player takes a turn spinning the Dreidel. If the Dreidel lands on Nun, the spinner gets nothing and passes the Dreidel. When the Dreidel lands on Gimel, the spinner get everything in the pot, the

players ante up again, and the winning player continues to spin. When the Dreidel lands on Hei, the spinner takes half of the pot and keeps spinning. When the Dreidel lands on shin, the player puts in one unit of currency and hands the Dreidel to the next player. The Players continue spinning the Dreidel until all of the currency ends up with one player, or until the players get bored and go back to the buffet table for more brisket and potato pancakes, whichever comes first (usually, it’s brisket). Playing games of Dreidel was an important part of Hannukah at my house growing up. We’d pull out the Hannukah decorations, dig around in the bottom of the box for the dreidels, and then begin. We usually put in pocket change as our currency, but I’ve played with hershey kisses, Hannukah gelt, and even prisonstyle with candy cigarettes. It’s a lot like playing the card game war — you could conceivably play forever, but dreidel is best for killing time in between family events during the holidays. My father loved dreidel the most, and would ask anyone we brought home for the holidays if they wanted to play. What none of our guests realized was that my dad was a notorious cheater and would make up the rules as he went along. I remember waking up one Christmas morning when Christmas and Hannukah overlapped to see my wife playing dreidel with my dad. My wife couldn't’ figure out why she kept losing. I watched for a minute and realized my father was taking advantage of my gentile wife’s lack of Jewish education. She couldn't’ tell the ‫ נ‬from the ‫ג‬, so he took her money even when she was a winner. Clearly, dad had no interest in fighting stereotypes.

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

05


Point Christmas Point: I Don’t Hate Christmas Music, Just Bad Music I don’t really like Christmas. I’ve never been subjected to

“CHRISTMAS IN WASHINGTON”

favorite Christmas song ever made. I cherish the first time

any Gremlins’ style dad-stuck-in-the-chimney tragedies, no

Steve Earle

I hear it in the wild every year. The over the top sentiment,

Die Hard-esque terrorist takeovers of my workplace, and

Leave it up to Nashville’s greatest outcast to get political

that keyboard loop, Bob Geldof’s Nice Terrible Hair, and of

no Goodfellas “Take It Back!” admonitions of my favorite

on Christmas. A Clinton-era lament for an ever more

course Bono with the killer line: So tonight be glad it’s

gifts. I just never really loved all the glad tide and good

corporatized world of haves and have-nots, it can seem

THEM insteaaaaadddd offff yooouuuuuuu!!!!” Wouldn’t

spirits, the rampant consumerism and above all, I hate the

prescient to Democrats and like so much more bitching to

you rather watch this video and speculate on the coke

terrible music.

Republicans, but it’s a good song. See Also: Robert Earl

induced orgies it spawned than hear a tasteful version of

Keen’s “Merry Christmas From The Family,” and any other

“Silent Night”? Me too. When to play: All the time. Any

In my childhood, I suspect the music was just as tedious,

country takes on Christmas for a less politicized down

time you feel like it after December 1. You can wear it out

just as cloying, and just as cringe inducing, but I also

home sing along. When to play: when you’re up late

and then not hear it for a whole year. Turn your friends on

suspect it never started in October, and I know there was

thinking about writing checks to charity, but decide to cut

to the sheer absurdity of it’s joy.

no year-round XM Christmas channel.

the amount of each in half.

“A CHRISTMAS DUEL”

To protect my own mental well-being and the physical well

“MELE KALIKIMAKA”

Cindi Lauper and The Hives

being of those around me, I have honed the allowable

Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters

Featuring lyrics about wrecked cars, hitmen, changed wills,

Christmas songs down to an hour and a half of enjoyable

Not a good song per se, but it will always allow you to

burnt record collections, adultery with both the wife’s

songs. Not all of these songs are good. You may not agree

think of Christmas Vacation, and Hawaii. You should

sister and the husband’s mother, this is not for the faint of

with all of my choices, but then again, you are often wrong.

probably block from your mind the fact that Bing was

heart. With it’s Phil Spector meets The Ramones

Forthwith some highlights, and a playlist available on

(allegedly) a sot and a wife beater who tried to give one of

production, and ultimately uplifting message, it will make

Spotify.

The Andrews Sisters the Bill Cosby treatment during

you never look at Cindi Lauper the same way again. Her

recording. When to play: any time it is below 40 degrees in

voice shines through like Ronnie’s, and Pele from The Hives

Montgomery.

does a good job of just keeping up with her all out sonic

“RUN, RUN RUDOLPH” I don’t care if it’s the original Chuck Berry version or Keith

and moral assault. When to play: both early and late in the

Richards’ cover, this rhythm guitar-driven rockabilly

“BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE”

night at any Christmas Party, but more importantly, they’ve

masterpiece is the blueprint for rock and rollers looking to

Dean Martin

never even imagined a better song for Holiday Karaoke.

get in on that Christmas gravy train. See also: “Santa Claus

While Bing was an alleged sot, Deano was described by

Is Comin To Town,” by Bruce Springsteen and “Little Saint

biographer Nick Tosches as a “menefregista” or “one who

Nick” by The Beach Boys. When to play: early in the

simply does not give a fuck.” But he had a great voice and

“HAPPY XMAS (WAR IS OVER)”

evening with your baby boomer parents.

an Americanized name, and he could turn a song that’s not

John Lennon and Yoko Ono

so vaguely about sexual assault into a beloved Christmas

If ever there were one moment in my life I wish I could

classic. Menefregista, indeed. When to play: before you go

reproduce, it would be the time my friend Mike Bustin

meet that Tinder date

played this at a bar circa 2004. He played it straight, but

“CHRISTMAS IN HOLLIS” Run-DMC The original ghetto carol, and not to be eclipsed by the

Honorable Mention:

then when it came time for Yoko’s off-key caterwauling, he

likes of “What You Gonna Get Dat Boy (4 Chripmuh)?”

“DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS”

turned in a performance art piece on the level of Andy

Reverend Run, Daryl McDaniel and Jam Master Jay lay out

Band Aid

Kauffman. Every time I hear this one, it reminds me of a

what Christmas means when you don’t have much,

For some reason this song gets short shrift behind USA for

simpler time in my life, and how great my many friends

including a chimney, but you do have chicken and collard

Africa’s “We Are The World” for unintentional 80s

are. Also, you know, wars being over and shit.

greens. When to play: when you sneak out of your parents’

charitable hilarity, and I can never figure out why. Featuring

house to get high.

worse haircuts, (arguably) worse lyrics and (arguably) a more paternalistic worldview this atrocity is possibly my

Point Christmas Point: If It Ain’t Classic, It Ain’t Christmas

Words

CAROLINE ROSEN

When it came to Christmastime, my family always wanted

said, “Daddy, put on the Hives.” There is a reason for that.

Christmas (which again is not possible) but hell, it makes

perfection. Everyone wanted the perfect gift, the perfect

Since my dear friend has supplied you with at best half of

you believe there could be one.

tree, the perfect family morning, the perfect everything.

a Christmas music list, you have room in your playlist for

This made Christmas extremely stressful, as the only thing

these classics:

Are you kidding me? I’m picturing the current “grinch” in

that was guaranteed to be perfect was the music. Classic Christmas music.

“YOU’RE A MEAN ONE MR. GRINCH”

“SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN”

my life at the moment while belting away at this one. It’s

It’s common knowledge that when you are fired up, I mean

great for kids and adults, Don’t let this one get off your

I was lucky enough to marry a delightful and

really fired up, you equate it to the night before Christmas.

rotation for a moment. It’s music and some sort of

accommodating Jewish man who has only one thing in

If I could do it again I would have put this tune on our “mix

meditation if you ask me.

common with Santa Claus: overall level of body hair. As

tape” that we used to get ready for Varsity Girls basketball

we’ve started our own family I’ve dropped some of my

games. That’s how much this song means. Hey, Elf on the

“JINGLE BELLS”

need to have the perfect Christmas, finding happier and

Shelf, you’re watching people, your reporting to the Big

Really guys, enough said. Jingle Bells IS the Holiday

more innovative ways to celebrate the season. But one

Guy because of songs like this.You’re here because of this

Season.

thing I cannot give up on is classic Christmas Music. To

song in my mind. Hearing the jingle bells in this song

say you don’t like classic Christmas music is no different

really gets the synapses going and on some unconscious

Maybe it’s all nostalgia, a throw back to the days where I

than looking at someone’s labrador retriever and saying

level.

still wore bows and ran around barefoot. But when Rudolph comes on and I see my god son in his little

“that dog over there hates water and swimming.” You love it and you know it. You can’t fight instinct.

“THE CHRISTMAS SONG”

designer denim jeans with a v-neck chest hair friday shirt

The Christmas Song, better known by it’s opening line,

looking up and saying “dance with me, dance with me,”

As My friend Mr. Mowery wrote, the quantity of

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”, has it all. It’s love

that’s Christmas Classic. The classics are classic. We can

Christmas music has reached an all time peak, but those

with mistletoe, Santa, delicious food (hello Turkey). It’s in

all be hipsters and be refined in the world of music, but at

catchy tunes aren’t to blame for everyone trying to market

every holiday rom-com ever that the girl sitting next to

the end of the day we need the basics standbys for a

to us. We need to appreciate and love the classics. No kid

you (or wish was sitting next to you) will be watching this

reason. They are the best.

has every come downstairs on Christmas morning and

holiday season. It’s setting the scene for a perfect

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014


WORDS EVANS BAILEY

December 4-7, 11-14 and 18-31 Christmas Lights Festival

Montgomery Zoo, 5:30 to 9:30 p.m.

See the Montgomery Zoo transformed into a Winter Wonderland sparkling with thousands of lights and festive decorations. Take a leisurely stroll, a brisk train ride or see the lights from atop the Zoofari Skylift Ride. Visit Santa, enjoy the live nightly entertainment and no winter’s night would be complete without some warming hot chocolate and fresh baked cookies. Regular nighttime admission: $15 (ages 3 years old and older). Ticket includes entry and one Christmas Lights Festival train ride. Call 334.240.4900 or visit montgomeryzoo.com for details.

iMage courtesy ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURES ARTS & SCIENCES

The Capri Theatre is closing up shop for the season on December 5 with its annual showing of It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s always a fun evening, and there’s something special about seeing the film on the silver screen instead of the television. That early closing time means your humble correspondent doesn’t have a movie to review. Instead, here’s an extended look at what will be in theaters during December:

WILD Reese Witherspoon plays a horrible person who desperately wants another Oscar. Determined, she sets out on a thousand mile hike across the U.S. Gabby Hoffman and Laura Dern co-star as people who will not be getting Oscars at the end of Reese’s journey. DYING OF THE LIGHT Nicolas Cage as a CIA agent who has to go rogue to track down his nemesis. And people say Hollywood is out of ideas. Paul Schrader wrote (good) but also directs (bad).

EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS Not satisfied that his Crusades epic Kingdom of Heaven was a dud, Ridley Scott goes back to the religious well with the story of Moses. Christian Bale steps into the sandals of the biblical hero, while Joel Edgerton gets tasked with playing the bad pharaoh Rhamses. I saw a giant crocodile in the trailer. Bale also pronounces “God” like there’s a “w” buried in there somewhere. Not like the exasperated, southern “Gawd” but more like “Gwod.”

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Bilbo and the gang wrap up Peter Jackson’s second Middle Earth trilogy. The titular battle is supposed to clock in at around 45 minutes. Given Jackson’s prowess with gigantic battles in the Lord of The Rings, this could make for some excellent popcorn-chomping fare.

December 11-21 It’s a Wonderful Life, A Live Radio Play Cloverdale Playhouse

THE GAMBLER Is anyone else annoyed by Mark Wahlberg’s voice? I admit the guy must have something going for him to go from underwear model to Hollywood star, but his voice gives me the same feeling as fingernails on chalkboard. It’s not the Boston accent either, something in the timber or the tone is just really, really irritating. Anyway, this movie is about a gambling addict who gets on the wrong side of a loan shark. Wahlberg’s voice should feature prominently. ANNIE This unnecessary modern remake has flop written all over it. Hopefully, Rose Byrne and the always fun Jamie Foxx can keep this one entertaining. If not, we should blame Jay-Z for sampling “It’s a Hard Knock Life” and planting the idea for this movie in someone’s brain.

INTO THE WOODS Anna Kendrick in a Broadway musical about fairytales brought to the silver screen by the money-printing machine that is Disney. Meryl Streep lends some villainy, and more singing, and Johnny Depp plays the big bad wolf. UNBROKEN The movie that ended Angelina Jolie’s acting career. A rag tag bomber crew are shot down and taken prisoner.Based on Laura Hillenbrand’s book, the movie focuses on the extraordinary life of crew member Alex Zamperini, who was also an Olympic runner. THE INTERVIEW James Franco and Seth Rogen continue their bromance in what should be a funny film. The premise alone is worth a chuckle. Rogen and Franco are celebrities that get tasked with assassinating the leader of North Korea after the government learns he is a fan of their “Entertainment Tonight”-like show. The totally awesome Lizzy Caplan plays the CIA spook in charge of getting the moronic due to their “interview” with the dear leader.

Adapted by Joe Landry from the screenplay by Frank Capra, Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, and Johanna Sperling. This beloved American holiday classic comes to captivating life as a live 1940s radio broadcast on the Playhouse stage. With the help of an ensemble that brings dozens of characters to life, the story of idealistic George Bailey unfolds as he considers ending his life one fateful Christmas Eve. All plays run Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets and info at cloverdaleplayhouse.org.

December 18-21 The Nutcracker by Montgomery Ballet Troy University’s Davis Theatre

The Montgomery Ballet presents a Christmas classic, “The Nutcracker,” on stage at the Davis Theatre starting December 18. Tickets range from $15 to $30. Call the Box Office at 334.409.0522 or visit montgomeryballet.org for tickets and more information.

December 18 & 22 Lottie Moore

Holiday Homecoming Concert and Preview Party

Come join Lottie for a preview concert at Midtown Pizza Kitchen at 6PM on December 18th and enjoy drink specials. Then, head over to eventbrite. com to grab tickets to her Holiday Homecoming Concert at The Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts’ Wilson Auditorium on December 22nd at 6:30PM. She’ll serenade you with the songs from her recent EP release, Leaving the Labyrinth, as well as a few other beloved tunes to get you in the holiday spirit. Merchandise and CDs will be available for purchase after the show.

December 20 Camellia Bowl

Crampton Bowl, 8 p.m.

A post-season college football game matching up the Sun Belt Conference against the Mid-American Conference. Tickets start at $20.00. espnevents. com/camellia-bowl/

Through December 24 A Christmas Carol

Alabama Shakespeare Festival

A favorite family holiday tradition returns to Alabama Shakespeare Festival under the new direction of Diana Van Fossen. This holiday must-see will get you into the swing of the holiday season with Scrooge’s search for redemption and a magical evening of ghosts, spirits, festivity and goodwill. For tickets and more info, visit asf.net.

Through December 28 Rewind: Art of then 1970s

Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts

The Rewind series of exhibitions focuses on pieces from the MMFA Permanent Collection to illustrate significant art movements from three key decades in contemporary American art: the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s. Each exhibition reveals the important artists, styles, processes, and movements that emerged during each decade to have a lasting impact on the direction of art. Visit mmfa.org for details.

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

07


Jonesing to spend that iTunes gift card but finding yourself lost in a sea of dreary, soulful affects? MADE has you covered, with this monster list of 2014 Pop, Rock, & Dance tunes that won’t leave you feeling like modern music has lost all charm and vibrance.

Ages and Ages

Band of Skulls

The Dodos

Elephant

“I See More”

“Himalayan”

“Competition”

“Shapeshifter”

Though their other single, the anthemic

While seemingly modeled after Tame

Two-piece The Dodos have been

Songstress Amelia Rivas is nobody’s fool,

“Divisionary (Do The Right Thing)” was

Impala’s sophomore hit “Elephant,” lightly

consistent at delivering radio-ready,

as evidenced on the mind-numbingly

far more popular this year, that song,

Buddhist-inspired “Himalayan” appears

intelligent Pop/Rock over the last

beautiful “Shapeshifter.” Her album is

while perhaps valued for its off-the-cuff

to miss its intended mark and instead

decade, so to hear their sound still

called Sky Swimming for good reason,

spontaneity, is pure crap. You can tell

lands squarely in the zone of Nineties

working magic in 2014 says something

as she and her ex-boyfriend paint

the Portland band spent some real time

groups Kula Shaker, Alice in Chains, and

about how well it was built from day

music with giant chunks of clouds and

and thought on their other single, eye-

the Black Crowes. That’s not the best

one. Yet another strong single from the

sea, creating the same thrilling sense

opening “I See More,” showing off catchy

thing and it’s not the worst, depending on

thankless San Fran duo, “Competition”

of agoraphobia as lying on your back

vocal scales the likes of which haven’t

your tolerance of Hippie Rock, but what

takes a few listens to dig your heels into,

in the grass and staring up at the blue

been heard since Apples In Stereo’s

puts this song on our list is the gorgeous

but it’s addictive stuff.

infinite for an uncomfortably long time.

debut. If you think “Party” is the best

a capella falsetto bridge that leads up to

“Shapeshifter” plays with proportions,

Beach Boys album, this is your jam.

the rip-snorting guitar solo. A harmless,

making you the listener, feel tiny, and the

radio-friendly offering to the Rock gods.

modest, Diana Ross-obsessed duo on the stereo seem gigantic.

The Emperor Machine

Friendly Fires and The Asphodells

Galimatias

Got A Girl

“The Point”

“Before Your Eyes”

“Ocean Floor Kisses”

“Did We Live Too Fast”

Lying somewhere between the “The

An intriguing, myopic Krautrock drone

The most sublime example of this year’s

Featuring Dan “The Automator”

Yellow Wallpaper” and “Yellow

that somehow manages to enthrall for

ever-present Chillwave-, House-, or

Nakamura (Gorillaz, Deltron 3030)

Submarine,” “The Point,” is a

nearly eight minutes, “Before Your Eyes”

otherwise EDM-infused R&B came from

fronted by actress Mary Elizabeth

commanding and bouncy object

has the sort of lush, breathy, sensitive

Danish producer Matias Saabye Køedt,

Winstead (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World),

meditation by veteran UK DJ Andy

vocals that we used to expect from

who releases about three singles a year

Got A Girl is like a cheeky, space-age

Meecham (Bizarre, Inc.) that draws out

solo bedroom pop musicians, instead

under the name Galimatias. Don’t even

bachelor pad version of “She and Him.”

hallucination and hypnosis from the

coming from a collaborative super-group

bother trying to pronounce his names,

In their swinging Sixties black-and-

mundane. The Grapico of music in 2014.

who can provide loads of layers and

just listen to single “Ocean Floor Kisses.”

white music video for “Did We Live Too

increasingly complex guitar loops by

It’s a smoove, pulsating, 6/8 time slow

Fast,” Nakamura and Winstead play

track’s end. Recommended for fans of

jam that emulates The Art of Noise

a married couple trying out comically

The Sea and Cake.

effortlessly. A must hear.

kinky options to spice up their marriage. A Lounge-y option for the smart set, the name of their cocktail-friendly debut album is I Love You But I Must Drive Off This Cliff Now.

Happy holidays, and thanks for reading Made Paper! Here’s hoping you and yours found some new music to enjoy here.

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014


King Tuff

Son Lux feat. Lorde

Mac De Marco

“Hold The Line”

“Rainbow’s Run”

“Easy”

“Let Her Go”

Two squeaky clean voices backed with

Blame it on the collective unconscious,

“Easy,” a 2013 Son Lux track revamped

Indie Rock’s wry new golden boy hit

two clean-channel guitars. That’s it.

but this year saw Indie Rock caught

with brilliant new vocals and beats, is

the big time this year with his fourth

Soaring overhead with a Fifties-based,

in an unexpected, unilateral embrace

so authentically creepy, it’s reasonable

LP Salad Days, offering a brilliant bevy

sweetly innocent vibe, yet recorded in

of Seventies Glam icon Marc Bolan,

to guess Ryan Lott sampled spiders

of classic rock impersonations and

an ultra-chill, minimalist way, “Hold

with several key players replicating

crawling down the backs of fettered

a homespun, Ween-esque recording

The Line” by Jack + Eliza sounds like the

the Electric Warrior’s distinctive tenor

ghosts to accomplish his sound. It’s rare

aesthetic. Basing your opinion of De

whinny. No T. Rex impersonation

to find such a pure modern example of

Marco solely upon on his album’s title

was so complete, however, as that of

Trip Hop done right, and with vocals by

track, you’d be forgiven for lumping

local favorite King Tuff, a band whose

Lorde, of all people. Made especially

him in with 2014’s Bolan clones, but De

confidence and charisma allowed them

for lovers of musical backbone, this

Marco’s George Harrison voice perhaps

to also pull off Bolan’s accompanying

dark track wins “Best Music to Leave

suits him best, as evidenced on the

brand of lustful lyrics without a hitch.

On While You’re Gone to Avoid Being

sproingy, picnic-worthy “Let Her Go.”

Jack + Eliza

Everly Brothers as reimagined by The XX.

Burglarized in 2014.”

NEUS feat. Gio Levy

Phonat

Racing Glaciers

Saint Motel

“Feels Good”

“Never”

“Moths”

“My Type”

Every time we went to delete this super-

Michele Balduzzi (AKA Phonat) is a

Angsty British five piece Racing Glaciers

Turns out, if you put Nat King Cole

shallow, Daft-Punk-meets-Timberlake

British DJ and guitarist that sprinkles his

take a detour away from Coldplay’s

in front of Gloria Estefan’s backing

club paean to material pleasure from the

own sampled playing over fleshed-out

footpath into Seventies Arena Rock

band, you get Duran Duran. Vaguely

list, the song would come on and a nearby

electronic backing tracks. The sharpness

territory on romantic single “Moths.” As

reminiscent of a Seventies game show

bootie would inevitably start shakin.’ Ah,

of Balduzzi’s guitar scalpel and the

they build up and over a shuffling chord

theme, Saint Motel provides the perfect

what the hell. It does feel pretty good.

emotional heft of his funky samples help

progression, taking time out for pretty

soundtrack for Bollywood Odysseus’s

push organic, pitchbending Hip Hop treat

Fleet Foxes-style choruses, singer Tim

disguised arrival to the Disco archery

“Never” over the edge of the dance floor

Monoghan makes defeated masochism

competition. Not for the uptight, horn-

and onto our list.

sound courageous, if you’re into that sort

infested “My Type” makes a plain come-

of thing.

on sound like a hard-earned reckoning.

Slow Club

Temples

TV on the Radio

Ximena Seriñana

“Tears of Joy”

“Shelter Song”

“Careful You”

“Parar A Tiempo”

A charming, devishly catchy verse leaves

Those drums! That chorus! Those...

Considering how futuristic the band

When you hear the words “Mexican

enough room for over-the-top, Marvin

harps? “Shelter Song,” by Temples -

sounds, it seems like TV on the Radio

Pop,” you might immediately think of

Gaye-based shenanigans in the chorus

like the rest of their strong debut Sun

should rule the airwaves in 2014, but

kitschy, overblown things. And yet young

of restauranteur duo Slow Club’s only-

Structures - is beefy and essential 2014

cruelly, they instead seem relegated to

Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter

half-ironic “Tears of Joy.” It’s a silly but

listening that channels Sixties Psych

a critic’s choice, hipster-y fate. “Careful

Ximena Serinana offered something so

sensual little ballad that works whether

standbys The Byrds, The Guess Who,

You” is the balladeering single from their

sincere and tiny it was nearly overlooked

you buy into it or not. Digging how much

and Grass Roots by way of a cavernous

slick new album Seeds, and it makes the

with her album No Todo Lo Puedes Dar.

love the tambourine / Motown guitar

Peter, Bjorn, & John-meets-Kasabian

list because to use “careful” as a verb is

Lead track “Parar A Tiempo” is catchy,

plink combo is getting this year.

production aesthetic. If you like Slightly

probably one of the sweetest things ever

yet relaxed and filmic, like if Philip Glass

Spooky Sunshine Rock so good it’ll make

to happen in a love song.

produced a Latino St.Vincent’s foray into

you spit your coffee and pull off to the

sleepytime vibraphone Dance music.

side of the road, look no further. DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

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WoRDS DEVIN YATES photos JON KOHN

MADE Paper got to visit Wind Creek Casino’s Penthouse this month as part of our Home Invasions series. Cathye, the marketing director, was our gracious tour guide. As you enter the double doors you’ll experience a bit of déjà vu, at least if you’ve seen The Hangover. Decorated with contemporary art pieces, Wind Creek describes the penthouse as “the master plan unit for ultimate luxury” or MPUUL for short. Once you go through the entrance way, the penthouse opens up into the living space which is lined with wallsized windows providing guests magnificent views of the snake-like Coosa River winding lazily below. The balcony boasts a massive blue-tiled hot tub and waterfall while an 80 inch TV hangs above a doublesided fireplace. I couldn’t help but notice another balcony right above us, foreshadowing experiences on the second floor yet to come. Cathye led me to the private elevator that runs between the first and second floors of the penthouse. We exited to find a billiards room that had huge televisions flanking each side of the pool table, while the front side of the room looked down into the living space below. Through the billiards room are the fancy fitness quarters equipped with a steam room. The master suite is on the opposite side, and that suite is sweet. Not only does one enjoy river views from the bed, but the entire back wall of the bedroom is glass. While taking a bath in the jetted tub or showering in the multi-head digitally controlled shower, you have the same view. After getting all gussied up, you can head back downstairs to your media room or enjoy food that the hotel’s private chef has prepared for you in the decked out kitchen. All in all, the place is really swank, although it’s luxury is exceeded only by its price. If you ever get a chance to stay there, please take full advantage of this party palace and prove that Montgomery (or Wetumpka) indeed parties harder.

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014


From the relaxing aromas of incense and fresh herbs to the good vibes from the uber cool staff, you are bound to spend your cash here as the shopping experience and customer service is top notch. No question asked is a dumb one when you’re here; the staff members are eager to help you make the best purchase for your needs. So you’ve stuffed your face with turkey, green bean casserole, your mother-inlaw’s infamous raisin salad (that you really hate but eat it anyway to keep the peace), sweet potato pie - the whole nine. By the day’s end you wind up feeling horrible, resenting yourself for over indulging. Been there, done that. This Holiday season why not try some healthier food options like couscous or sprouted whole grain bread? Have no clue what couscous is? Just want to start your health kick before the New Year gets here? Well, my friend, you may want to check out HealthWise Foods located on the Atlanta Highway in the Village East shopping centre just before you reach Faulkner University. HealthWise is the city’s oldest locally owned health food store and has been in business for over 30 years. During my recent visit to the store I had the chance to spark up convo with Wendell, the store’s manager. I learned that HealthWise offers a plethora of products to suit the needs of the health-conscious person. Selling everything from fresh, farm picked vegetables to an array of herbal supplements - this store has it all.

Wendell went on to tell me that although the store doesn’t have any holiday specials going, they do offer continuous discounts to senior citizens and military personnel. Their website (healthwisefoods.com) has an inventory of products they carry in-store but if you don’t see an item on the site that you need, contact them and they can have it ordered for you. Very cool, right? Ditto. My friends, this Holiday season I encourage you to shop local and keep innovative, small businesses like HealthWise thriving in our community - they need our support. HealthWise Foods is worth checking out, so stop by today to take a look around if you haven’t already. You’ll thank me later. And don’t forget to tell them that MADE Paper sent you! HealthWise Foods is located on the Atlanta Highway in the Village East Shopping Centre, just before you reach Faulkner University. You can find more of Michelle’s work on her blog www.blackzenmama.com.

in July. We branded the movement #revolutionMGM.

A movement is happening in Montgomery, #revolutionMGM. The revolution seed was planted during the February 2013 TEDx event at ASU in which Boyd Stephens spoke about a concept he coined as the “Silicon Black Belt”. The thought that the I-85 corridor can be a technological hub not only of the Southeast but the nation is very compelling and I wanted to know where to start. Boyd, Meg Lewis of the Chamber’s Convention and Visitor Bureau, and myself kickstarted our work to bring a technological renaissance in Montgomery with Social Media Day

This movement has a lot of accomplishments in its first 4 months. We have had 4 events since the inception: Montgomery’s first Social Media Day, guest speaker Bijan Dhanani from Chattanooga’s GigCity, Bijoy Goswami, founder of Bootstrap Austin, and HackMGM, MGM’s first civically minded hackathon. We have had over 100 people attend each event. Each event brought out a diverse group of entrepreneurs, coders, software company CEOs, young professionals, and people who just want to see this movement take off. The most exciting part of this movement is getting to watch people be inspired by the movement and by the guest speakers and start their own company or non-profit. Since the launch of #revolutionMGM, we have seen a group start the Gumption Fund, a tech accelerator called Tek Line Accelerator (teklineaccel@gmail.com), a regional tech news/ calendar at sbbnews.co, and workshops that include free Wordpress and Photoshop training and free intro into the LEAN startup methodology class. You likely are wondering, “I have a great job here in Montgomery; why should I care about this tech movement?” This movement has validated what

many people have known for a long time. Lots of tech talent call the River Region and the I-85 corridor home. They work at Maxwell/Gunter AFB, they own software companies, they are soonto-be-graduates of one of our many universities. It is time that we, the community, embrace these talented workers and in doing so change the perception of the city. Imagine telling a friend in St. Louis, MO you live in Montgomery, and their first thought be, “That city is on the rise, attracting a lot of talented people to it.” This city, with its immense history and culture, already has a lot to offer. But, if you throw in the excitement of a growing start-up/entrepreneurial community, the perception of the city could rapidly change. It’s not too late to jump on the #revolutionMGM train! This start-up community is growing rapidly and on the brink of becoming a start-up scene. We want you to get involved in this community, and there are so many ways to do it! The next free LEAN Start-up training class is coming quickly. Sign up at MMHacking.com. Our next event is the Tacky Christmas Socks event on Tuesday, December 16. More details can be found at revolutionmgm.com. If you have an idea or want to steward a cause, let us know at revolutionmgm@ gmail.com

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

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CHEST HAIR FRIDAY made in montgomery hand screen printed v-neck style heather navy – army green matterprintshop.com

Chest Hair Friday is more than just showing off your chest hair once a week. Chest Hair Friday is a lifestyle. Every dog has his day, and that day is Chest Hair Friday. First of all, you don’t need chest hair. Or even to be a man. Chest Hair Friday isn’t about how much hair you have, but how willing you are to let it all hang out. Chest Hair Friday is bad decisions that turn into good decisions. Chest Hair Friday is exposing yourself -- to the possibility of adventure. Second, Chest Hair Friday asks only one thing of you: be your best self. The self that isn’t worried about what other people think or the arbitrary rules that society wants you to live by. Chest Hair Friday is maximizing happiness without doing anyone harm.

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014

Third, Chest Hair Friday is as American as eagles, apple pie, Uncle Sam and Little League baseball. Chest Hair Friday is freedom. In no other country in the world could Chest Hair Friday have been born. Chest Hair Friday is a national treasure. Cherish it. Finally, Chest Hair Friday is not just for Fridays. In that spirit, MADE will be releasing podcasts every Friday, interviewing people who truly live every day like it’s Chest Hair Friday. Is this a good idea? Who knows? Forget it Jake, it’s Chest Hair Friday. To learn more about Chest Hair Friday head over to www.madepaper.com for our podcast on the history of this modern Sabbath. Shirts available for purchase at iheartmatter.com/printshop/chest-hair-friday.


enjoy responsibly

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

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WoRDS WILL ABNER Cocktail history is a little, uh, blurred. There are a lot of variations, opinions, and stories, all of them a little off because, well, we’re talking about booze.

It’s going to help us bartenders make the perfect drink for you if we are all familiar with a little martini jargon. If you order it right, we can make it right.

One of the most vague / inconsistent / everevolving cocktails is the Martini. Unfortunately, it is one of the most popular as well. There are numerous stories about who made it first, where, and how. I’m not a cocktail historian by any means, so I’m going to stay away from getting too deep into the history and evolution of the Martini.

First of all, “straight up” refers to the glassware used, not vermouth. Mind = Blown. Dryness is the scale that refers to the amount of vermouth used. If deviating from the standard ratio of vodka / gin your options are: Dry, Very Dry, and Bone Dry. So, if you’re looking for your martini to only contain vodka/gin the term you are looking for is “Bone Dry”. This isn’t a martini, this is basically a double shot of liquor, shaken and served in a v-shaped shot glass.

The trouble with this cocktail is that it constantly evolves. It is believed to have begun with gin and vermouth, stirred together and garnished with a lemon twist or an olive. I can’t say when vodka was thrown into the mix, or chocolate for that matter. For all intents and purposes, we will stick to the basic martini protocol I use here at SpringHouse during this explanation. As a side note, I am skeptical of any thing called a “martini bar”. You won’t catch me in a place that has more than three menu items based around the word martini, but that’s just me. (Chocolate-tini? Seriously?) Anyways, let’s figure this mess out.

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MADEPAPER.COM • DECEMBER 2014

Ice. No, there is not supposed to be a float of ice across the top of the glass. This is a condition we call “bruising”. When martinis were originally crafted, they were stirred. Stirring actually gets the liquid colder than shaking. It also preserves the texture of the liquor, creating a luscious, velvety smooth drink. Shaking introduces air into the liquid, making it cloudy, and believe it or not those tiny air bubbles affect the texture and taste of the drink. So, care should be taken when shaking a martini. It’s almost an art. Correct tools help too.

If you were to order a Bombay Gin Martini, straight up with olives, this is what I’m going to make:

3oz Bombay Gin 1oz Carpano Dry Vermouth Shaken briskly, strained into a chilled martini glass. Served with three olives, because I’m nice. So if you order it Dry you’ll get .25oz of vermouth. Very Dry, I’ll rinse your glass with the vermouth. These are the standards that I have adopted to use behind my bar. It seems to work perfectly fine and creates a darn good drink. If you get cold feet while ordering your favorite martini, it doesn’t hurt to work with the bartender to figure it out. It’s why we are here after all. Cheers!

Will Abner is the supreme bartender at SpringHouse on

Now that I’ve gotten all of that off of my chest, let’s have a drink.

Lake Martin. You can catch up with him there, and even in Garden & Gun these days. But always at MADE Paper.


WoRDS CHANDLER SIMS HINES // photo HARVI SAHOTA

It’s officially the holidays. And once again that means I’m gonna go broke trying to scrounge up gifts at the last minute. Instead of spending a fortune buying random stuff for everyone, why don’t you give the gift of “style” this holiday season?! I found a few local items that are sure to make your loved ones smile, but more importantly they are affordable. My first obsession is the selection of tees found at Matter Printshop. Not only are they buttery soft, but they’ll make a great gift for both men and women. With cheeky sayings like “Montgomery. It’s Better Than You Think”, “Chest Hair Friday”, and “Montgomery Parties Harder” (true statement), how could you not love them? And the best part? They are all 20 bucks!

Next on my style gift guide is a little bling that’s perfect for girls of all ages. I found some awesome studs made by Loren Hope at Welle Studio. They have a candy colored assortment to spice up any outfit and are under $40! You can’t find a better quality jewel at this price and these stones definitely haven’t been switched. (No hidden attorneys fees for your loved ones). These earrings make a statement without being obnoxious. Shameless plug alert! My last stylish pick doesn’t have to be worn. It can adorn your walls. For the art collectors, I have made colorful and muted paintings perfect for any home. These pairs of 6” x 6” canvases are great for dorm rooms to dining rooms and are under $80! Now that I’ve given you some budget friendly ideas, make your list, check it twice… seriously, check it twice because you don’t want to leave somebody out. I’ve done that. Not a good outcome. Take my advice and get your peeps something they will actually use this year!

DECEMBER 2014 • MADEPAPER.COM

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Russell Lands On Lake Martin is an idyllic place on the shores of Lake Martin, Alabama’s largest lake. With 44,000 acres of

the southeast. Russell Lands On Lake Martin lies at the heart of Lake Martin and includes 25,000 acres of pristine forests with

pristine water and 750 miles of

more than 80 miles of hiking, bik-

shoreline, Lake Martin is a recre-

ing and equestrian trails, four flag-

ation destination unparalleled in

ship marinas, an outstanding, private golf course and country club, and a town center - Russell Crossroads - that harkens back to a simpler time, yet provides charming shopping and fine dining opportunities.

Throughout our country’s history,

the town center has served as a community gathering spot – a common meeting ground to shop, to dine and if luck had it, to leave with a few friendships formed. Located in the heart of Russell Lands On Lake Martin, Russell Crossroads perfectly blends these storied traditions with today’s conveniences. For more information, call 256-215-7011 or visit RussellLandsOnLakeMartin.com


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