RUiN Mag Issue 4 by Madison Paloski

Dissatisfied with

the way the magazine industry was going, Madison Paloski and Raegan Cleary wanted to do something about it. Tired of the generational gap between who was making magazines and who was reading them they wanted something for young adults, by young adults. Think of Ruin Mag as your neighborhood zine with a twist. We are here to report on all the fashion, art, music and lifestyle news that other magazines are afraid of. We wanna hear what you, the readers, have to say. And most of all, we’re here to shatter your expectations.

Letter From The Editor We did it folks, one full rotation around the sun and somehow we didn’t blow anything up in the process. I’d call that a victory, wouldn’t you? While a global pandemic is nothing to celebrate, without the time off from work and a minor (ok, major) postgrad crisis, Madison and I’s dream of starting a magazine would have never happened. Not only did we turn one, but we also accomplished a lot this past year that is worthy of celebrating, including: •Creating four print issues totally by scratch •Reaching nearly 1000 followers on Instagram (aka 19 a week!) •Launching a merch line •Hiring a whole staff of amazing and incredibly talented people <3 •Getting a custom domain (and stopped getting shadowbanned!)

With all that under our belts, we knew we had to throw the party of the month--no the party of the year, COVID safe of course. This is why we jam-packed the issue with everything you need to throw the perfect solo party. From a killer playlist to advice on how to celebrate during a pandemic, we got it all. Now pop a bottle of your favorite champagne (or anything bubbly) and celebrate. Whether it is a birthday, a special event, or just a random Tuesday, you made it through another year and that alone is always worth celebrating. Keep on partying, Raegan xx

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Madison Paloski (she/her) Creative Director @maddiiiooyx

Raegan Cleary (she/her) Editor-in-Chief @raegarific

Emma Burkard (she/her) Staff Writer @emmaburkardd

Emma Ingenohl (she/her) Social Media Manager @emmaingss

Ashley Burke (she/her) Graphic Designer @ashleyburke17

Gregg Casazza (he/him) Art Director @greggariously

Francelle Papailler (she/her) Creative Consultant @passionsofxanxor

Emily Garcia (she/her) Graphic Designer @emjgarcia_

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CONTENTS 6 8 10 12 15 16 20 33 34 35

RUiN Readers Quarantine Q + A - How have you been “partying” during quarantine? RUiN readers tell all. Relief of the Introvert- For some, quarantine was painful to not be able to go out or see their friends. For others? It was a sigh of relief.

Studio 54 and the Golden Age of PartyingTaking it back where it all started. Dive into the wonders of Studio 54. Playing Dress Up - When your closet has just become a huge pile of loungewear sets, people will take any excuse to show off their best fits online (or just to the grocery store). Your Perfect Solo Party Playlist - In need of some alone time? This perfect lineup will be just what you need to celebrate you. Having Pride Online - Finally, living in the age of embracing queer culture in large-scale spaces. Party for One: Our Cover Story - All dressed up with no where to go…sound familiar? The College Club in Boston provided the perfect backdrop for our COVID- friendly celebration.

Worldwide Shutdowns Killed the In-Between Friend - If there is anything that quarantine taught us, it’s to cherish the more intimate relationships within your circle. I Never Used to Like Parties, but - This poem details being young during the pandemic and the exhaustion that can come with being socially and politically responsible. What’s in Your Purse on a Night Out? - Inspired by Michelle Gurevich, this piece focuses on the concept of going out and blacking out; using things you would have in your purse on a night out: lip liner, eyeliner, and receipts.

40 44 46 48 50 51 52

Today’s Political Climate isn’t Something Worth Celebrating - Even though we want to celebrate, we need to take a moment to discuss the elephant in the room. The world has experienced one hell of a year in politics.

Fashion Wants You to Feel Something How is the fashion industry keeping up with the ever-changing needs of people during a pandemic? Runway shows have focused on intimacy and celebrating a more hopeful future. Did COVID Kill Hookup Culture? - I’m sure we aren’t the only one wondering who is really risking a potential life-threatening virus for a little action. A Moment in Time - These old cinema photographs transport you to a moment in time. The eery quietness surrounding each image allows you to make your own narrative. Musicians Take - What does the day-to-day life of a musician during COVID look like? An industry insider tells all. All the Not So Little Victories - Whether you started your own business or just got out of bed for the day, quarantine helped almost everyone grow as people.

How to Turn 21 in the Middle of a Pandemic - Most people wait their entire lives for this moment, but a worldwide pandemic kind of puts a wrench in plans. Sweet Devil - “I know what you are pretty thing, sweet devil and you never needed the disguise.”

We Owe the Party Girls a Huge Apolog yWe spent years of our lives following the likes of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton, but never stopped to think how the constant limelight affected them.

Graphic created with photos from Pinterest

the anniversary edition.

We asked RUiN readers...

“Eating my body weight in charcuterie boards” “Sipping on some champagne!”

“ Watching anime with my quarantine cat”

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“ Watching Mamma Mia alone and singing along lmao”

“Lots of dorm room dance parties and homemade margaritas”

“ Watching Venture Bros and editing”

“Trying a lot of new drinks in the comfort of my kitchen with my BF”

“Jackbox games have been a lifesaver!”

“Grubhub and Uber eats on speeeeed dial”

“Happy hour with friends via zoom”

the anniversary edition.

by Madison Paloski

RUiN Mag.

I’m going to be

completely and utterly real with you...

uarantine was the best time of my life.

kay, to be fair, it was terrifying at first. veryone was facing uncertainty as we traveled into the unknown and was very fortunate and privileged enough to have been able to stay indoors with my family when we were all trying to figure out what this new normal would entail. Through March to May my place of employment shut down and was temporarily furloughed. With school also taking precautions and heading virtual, was left with no other option than stay at my mom’s house until further notice. Because of this, was able to focus on school, and myself, for the first time. t felt...odd if we are being honest. have the typical ew orker mindset where it’s go go go until you die and that’s it. o, with all of this down time, didn’t uite know what to do with myself. The first thing realized was able to do was finally relax my shoulders, take a deep breath, and let go. And cried...a lot. didn’t take in how much shit put myself through that actually didn’t want to do. saw so many people express this on social media as well. t was the first time so many people were able to come together with their emotions and process what they were ignoring for so long. eeing everyone going through the same emotions, fears, and tribulations throughout uarantine was extremely reassuring to say the least. At school always felt guilty if wasn’t working on something. Being a senior in college with six classes, two obs, an internship, and three clubs to match two of which ran , barely found time to ust relax, sleep, or

eat. n uarantine, could nap, eat, and do anything wanted to do on M time and not have to worry about upsetting other people for cancelling breakfast plans or wanting to ust sit in my room in peace. Another thing realized is that didn’t even like going out that much. College comes with this pressure of having to go out to bars and drink every single week in order to live up to the college experience . on’t get me wrong, love to drink and dance and go out with friends occasionally, but my social battery never seems to last the whole night. At home, didn’t have to worry about seeing people’s napchat stories thinking maybe should’ve ust gone out and experiencing serious M because everyone else was also at home. There’s something super comforting about everyone’s lack of social life right now because it’s like we’re all on the same level playing field. esides, actually realized that was using drinking and going out as an unhealthy coping mechanism and was able to completely turn it around to handle things in a much healthier way. nce going out in public was starting to become a little more welcomed and found myself going into stores and on public transportation, thoroughly en oyed the uiet relief that both brought with the six feet rule in place. can’t even begin to believe that we allowed strangers to be so close to us before C . t has really taught me boundaries not only in my private life, but also my public life as well. o, as we’re approaching the potential end of uarantine, social distancing, and masks with the vaccine rollout, can’t help but wonder... can we go back Trust me, can’t wait until can safely see my friends, go out to eat, or go to concerts again, but what uarantine really taught it is that am an introvert and need to prioritize myself, and my mental health, first. maddiiiooyx

the anniversary edition.

Photos from Getty Images and Billboard Magazine

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by Avery Stankus

magine this, it’s 1977, you’re headed into the hottest West Side disco club wearing a wide-legged velvet jumpsuit with a plunging neckline and bold chunky heels as you pass the velvet ropes and walk through the blackout double doors, you’re greeted by the echoing sounds of disco. Fortunately for some, there’s not much imagining to do. This Wizard Of Oz-esque scene was a typical Tuesday night for partygoers as they ventured through the 80’s Manhattan nightlife at Studio 54.

be allowed in no matter what, also known as, ‘NFUs’ (No F*ck Ups), there were the A-listers who had to pay the entry fee, and others who were given no special treatment. Entrance had nothing to do with money and everything to do with how you presented yourself. Don’t let the daunting entry fool you, Studio 54 was the most exclusiveinclusive scene for that time period.

Studio 54 was established by best friends Ian Schrager and Steve Rubell in 1977 after converting the once opera house and former CBS television studio into the discotheque. The co-founders created their vision and within six weeks the doors to “Oz” were open to the public, well almost.

From Andy Warhol to Salvador Dali to Cher to Jackie O’, an abundance of celebrities graced the dance oor of tudio’s disco days. Not only was this a hot spot for typical household names, but it became an escapism for gay men, drag queens, and transgender people. Being at Studio 54 in the 80’s felt like freedom for so many. It didn’t matter how you identified, once you were let in, you were accepted for all that you were.

Crowds of people filled the exterior, waiting for their chance to walk down the yellow brick road that were the open velvet ropes into Studio. Doorkeepers and Rubbell would determine who was let in based on certain criteria that seemed to have had little rhyme or reason. There were guest lists that consisted of A-list celebrities who were to

Studio was the spot for New Year’s Eve parties, afterparties, and just a typical midweek pick-me-up. No two nights were the same in the 33-month span of Studio 54’s existence. One night you’re at the premiere party for ‘Grease’ where Olivia NewtonJohn is seen dancing with Allan Carr and the next you’re celebrating Bianca Jagger’s

30th birthday as she rides a white horse throughout the nightclub. On any given night you could find isco ally, a year old Studio 54 regular, dancing and mingling with Warhol and Jagger. Studio 54 was the Met Gala on Quaaludes. All good things must come to an end, and for Studio 54 it was no different. In 1980, the discotheque came to an abrupt halt when Schrager and Rubell were sentenced for tax evasion. The nighttime-duo had one last hurrah before they served their 13-month sentence. You had Liza Minnelli and Diana Ross serenading the two as the crowd of Jack Nicholson, Sylvester Stallone, and many others basked in these last moments of utmost acceptance and freedom. It’s no doubt Studio 54 has had a substantial impact on pop culture today. From risque fashion to candid photography to groovy music, the New York nightclub has become part of history. ts cultural significance has left an everlasting footprint behind. @helloavery

the anniversary edition.

Playing Dress Up:

How Staying at Home has Changed how we Wear Clothes by Emma Burkard

few months into quarantine in 2020, the platform heels I splurged on but never got to wear out were calling my name from the back of my closet. So were my nice jeans, mini skirts, and dresses that hadn’t been able to see the light of day because they had been replaced with matching sweatsuit sets. For many people, quarantine killed fashion. With work and school being entirely remote, there was little reason or opportunity to get dressed up every day. n the first few months of lockdown, there were “quarantine mental health tips” going around suggesting that we all get dressed up in our regular business casual attire even when working remotely. Maybe some of us did that, but the longer it went on the more ridiculous the idea seemed, so we reverted back to just wearing our sweats and slippers on our bottom half for Zoom meetings. For some other people like myself, we just couldn’t bear to dress casually for too long. I missed the days where I would get dressed up to go out to dinner or drinks, class, work, or really any excuse to have my outfit seen by a lot of people. n college, would go to the dining hall not because the food was good but because I wanted to show off my outfit that day and work the salad bar line like my runway. When we were forced to go into lockdown and were told to literally be seen by as little people as possible, I felt like I lost the joy of fashion for a while. I’m sure that many people who are either in the fashion industry or simply enjoy dressing up have felt the same way as me. However, many in uencers, models and celebrities were already oddly adapted to this lifestyle change. They were already posting all of their outfits online anyways, often even putting outfits on specifically ust to take photos in it. To them, it didn’t matter so much if they were being seen out in public in clothes, since they had up to hundreds of thousands of people across the world seeing them in it on their Instagram. So, how did many “regular” but still fashion-interested people like myself find a way to express their fashion sense when they couldn’t go outside anymore? Social media of course. Tik Tok became a hugely popular platform since lockdowns began in early 2020. What we learned very quickly about Tik Tok is that anyone, literally

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any regular person, has the ability to blow up on it. This is very clear for fashion people. Suddenly, people realized they could try on clothes in their own bedroom, film themselves posing in it, and have thousands of people see their outfit and admire their fashion sense. An uber-successful example is Widsom Kaye, a previously “average” 19-year-old from Texas with immaculate style who was suddenly launched to fame by simply showing off his daily outfits on TikTok in the beginning of quarantine. Now he has 2 million TikTok followers, has been signed to IMG Models, and has been featured in publications such as Vogue. Wisdom may have turned out to be especially successful from posting his outfits on social media, but so many other people have found a new way to express their style through the internet since stay at home orders began without ever being in uencers previously. For many, like myself, social media gave us a reason to start getting dressed up again. Now that so much of styling is for the purposes of posting content on the internet, it has drastically changed the way that we generally look at clothes and the way we consume clothes. Firstly, I think it has caused practicality in fashion to go completely out the door. When normally we would be worried about weather conditions or dress codes when getting dressed to go out in public, now we have no restrictions. Wearing skirts with no tights in winter or little tops without a jacket is allowed even on the coldest winter day if we’re just taking Instagram pictures inside our house. It seems like this has caused many people to care less about buying seasonally. imilarly, fit has lost a lot of importance in clothing. ’ve seen many in uencers admit to buying clothes that don’t fit them and simply pinning them up haphazardly in the back to make it look good from the front for a picture. They would never be able to wear that piece out in public, but that doesn’t matter because the purpose of it was just to be seen on the internet. Likewise, the longevity of a piece comfort-wise isn’t as important anymore either, since many people will put on outfits ust to take them off right after. ately, it has even been a trend on fashion TikTok where in uencers will say, “What you think I dress like all the time” and show their Instagram photos, then “What I really dress like all the time” and it’s them in sweatpants. Even for myself, if a dress is a little too uncomfortably

PRESS & PRODUCTIONS BANDS

FANS

MUSIC VIDEOS

INTERVIEWS

BRANDING & LOGOS

REVIEWS & FEATURES

MERCH DESIGN

PLAYLISTS

PHOTOGRAPHY

TIK TOKS & REELS

PROMO REELS

PODCASTS

1. Funny Thing - Thundercat 2. Good Days - SZA 3. Up - Cardi B 4. Lady - Hear Me Tonight - Modjo 5. Moment 4 Life - Nicki Minaj, Drake 6. YOU’RE THE ONE - KAYTRANADA, Syd 7. FANTAZIA - Roy Blair . un ower, ol. arry tyles . Melody Plustwo 10. Kontrol - Maleek Berry 11. Poppin - Rico Nasty 12. Girls in the Hood - Megan Thee Stallion 13. Yo Perreo Sola - Bad Bunny 14. Give Yourself a Try - The 1975 15. Alright - Kendrick Lamar

by Emily Garcia

t’s so easy to forget to prioritize your own happiness. Remind yourself that you really are that b . o, here is a list of songs that have created for you to listen to while getting ready for your day, cooking a meal, or dancing alone in your room. Celebrate you! @emjgarcia_

Photos from Unsplash

Having Pride 16

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by Gregg Casazza

istorically, the internet has not been the kindest space for queer individuals. Cyberbullying and hate speech has always been a part of the very infrastructure of the internet, however, just as much as digital spaces can isolate, so too can they bring people together. Queer people had to carve out their own spaces online, away from moderation and reproach, there they were able to find their tribes and meet people who were similar to themselves. These internet “safe spaces” came in the form of fringe outskirts— sites like Archive of our Own, where people were able to write their own fanfiction to see themselves in, or forums and Tumblr pages where communities could discuss their own fandoms and not fear the attacks of the mainstream— heteronormative culture. In 2020, with online spaces becoming even more vital than ever, a curious phenomenon has occurred. Gone are the days of hiding on fringe urls, instead the most popular apps are now unquestionably queer. This of course was no overnight change, you can track the progression to the forefront of culture through the years. Some may point to Ru Paul’s Drag Race which began airing on VH1 to a wider and more receptive audience, and now has many global offshoots, or perhaps shows like Glee and Pose, both being added to etlfix in the summer of , and the massive virality and meme-base that they spawned. Some may go back further to 2018 with the birth of the e-boy, which challenged gender-norms and made it fashionable for men to be a bit more sensitive and embrace queer aesthetics like painting one’s nails or wearing jewelry. You could continue

to look backwards to the height of Tumblr in 2013, with its many shippings and queer-fanfics, which allowed for a blending of popular shows with queer fanbases and a parasocial relationship between those fanbases and the writers, which led to queerbaiting in shows, that even middle America picked up on (see Sherlock or Supernatural). Though these moments may seem trivial and a bit silly, they all represent larger social shifts that play a part in the timeline of queer acceptance. This has been a trend for decades, and is reected in media as well as politics. eneral attitudes towards the queer community has been on a trajectory of acceptance for quite some time, which each subsequent generation becoming more tolerant and less hateful towards these communities. So much so that popular media now typically presents a homophobic character as a villain and the queer character as a hero, rather than the other way around. While no one thing is directly responsible for the embracing of queer culture on such a largescale way, the internet though hostile at times, has indirectly been at the root of much this progression. By being a place where so many like-minded individuals could gather, the internet knowingly, or not, became a vehicle through which the LGBTQ+ community could advance into popular culture in ways before unimaginable. This is not to say that there is complete or total acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals everywhere as there is still homophobic rhetoric in our government, violence against trans individuals rising at an alarming rate, and of course countries in which being LGBTQ+ is still illegal. But at a casual glance, very public and very

mainstream spaces seem to be portraying a more queer-friendly attitude, accepting of a greater variation in gender expression and sexualities than ever before. Of course, not everyone within these communities may see this as a success. As queer culture has become more embraced, it has also become commodified and sanitized. A common talking point being that Pride festivals which used to embrace raw sexuality and the freedom that comes with it, are now largely attended by children and families, and sponsored by TD Bank. What had started as a protest against police violence is now features oats and parades lead by cops wearing “funny” boas. The ways in which Pride has become a corporatized and stereotyped event which profits of the ueer community leaves a bad taste in the mouths of many within the community. With increased visibility and acceptance comes a queering of what it means to be queer, so many disavow these events entirely. There is a lot to be said for denying the acceptance that the mainstream has offered, especially if that acceptance comes with terms and conditions, however, to throw out all the progress that has been made within the queer community carte blanche would be a real loss. Looking online, popular trends such as “Lesbian Earrings” on TikTok have become viral. Young people all over the world are enjoying these handmade artsy earrings and creating their own markets for things that they really connect with. Masc-identifying individuals are wearing skirts and dresses and making videos—and 10 years ago what would have likely lead to bullying is now being openly celebrated. People are including their pronouns in their bios, and supporting sex work through OnlyFans embracing different body types and gender expressions. The in-

Online. the anniversary edition.

Photos from Unsplash

...there is more to the queer identity and spirit than merely these superficial fripperies... ternet has in so many ways opened its arms to queer culture. Of course, this comes too with the caveat that there could be some appropriation to these aesthetics. There certainly could be some who are following these trends because they are what is currently in fashion and what is popular. But for the young people who are seeing this online and identifying with a piece of themselves that they may have hid before, I can imagine that this boon in queer acceptance must feel so freeing and affirming. don’t have to imagine of course because can see this firsthand, the things that I was shamed, bullied, and beaten for are now being celebrated, and rather than feeling bitter about it I am so happy for anyone who gets to live through this moment, and explore that piece of themselves out in

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the open, rather than somewhere hidden. I am so happy that the internet has become a place where queer people can be openly themselves on and do so through mainstream platforms rather than in the shadows. Does it hurt to see cis people co-opting queer phrases and aesthetics? Certainly, but there is more to the queer identity and spirit than merely these superficial fripperies. Major celebrities, online markets, and social media and its users have embraced queer aesthetics, and though there is some backlash from conservative media (“bring back manly men!”) the role models of today are making a clear message to the world, dressing how you want, identifying how you authentically feel, and loving whoever you love, is all ok in fact it’s something to be

proud of. or the first time in over years there was no in-person Pride marches in New York City. The city that birthed the Stonewall Riots, had to cancel its LGBTQ+ festivals and events celebrating self-acceptance amidst the worsening Corona pandemic. New York was not the only major metropolitan area that had to cancel its festivities— planned events were cancelled across the country. Even still, another form of Pride occurred in the summer of , one that not only defined the virtual experiences of everyone affected during the global pandemic, but which also typified the ueer experience for many during . or the first time, Pride and pride was online. @greggariously

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ALL DRESSED UP...

...AND NOWHERE TO GO the anniversary edition.

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TBH- WE’RE TIRED OF LOUNGEWEAR.

or this issue, we wanted to bring the party…without the actual party. There are so many feelings of being shut in due to the pandemic with no escape in sight. Comfortable sweats and oversized sweatshirts have taken over and made the fashion world almost obsolete within just a year.

Skirt: Lys the Label Tights: Stylist’s Own Shoes: YDN

W Skirt (top): Aomei Skirt (middle): Papermoon Skirt (bottom): Vintage

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e’re here to change that. We want to be dressed to the nines…even if we have no where to go. The College Club in Boston provided the perfect location to make this dream come to life. The vintage designed interiors and furniture helped make our party for one anything but boring.

rab your best gloves and tights, a cupcake and martini (or two), and throw on your best 80s playlist. You don’t need a room full of people to dance.

the anniversary edition.

Worldwide Shutdowns Killed the In-Between Friend by Essie Plouffe

s the pandemic sent everyone spiraling into this new chic hermit lifestyle, it became important for people to connect as often as they could with those closest to them while in lockdown. Whether it be family members, a significant other, or best friends, COVID-19 sent us all scurrying onto Facetime or Zoom to scratch the itch of having some semblance of a social life again. Yet, there are those acquaintances who are “friends but not friends.” Those outer circle, “someone I met that one time in that one class or at that one party” friends. The “I sort of know them type of people in our lives that uctuate in and out. Coworkers, classmates, those you meet at the bar, or the barista at your favorite local coffee shop; these are those “in-betweeners” that you used to see and interact with every day because they were in your life in some way, shape, or form. Now, being stuck inside has forced this whole section of one’s social circle to at out disappear. Think of yourself as the sun in your life; there are people who orbit around you at different levels of closeness and intimacy. Anyone can have a different number of orbiting bodies, but there are those in your immediate proximity through your choice and those that are the byproduct of you moving through life. There are those closest to you, with whom you interact with on a daily basis and cannot imagine living life without, while there are also those on the outskirts who you see once in a while as they pass you by in life. They’re in your orbit, but they are just barely within your gravity. Whether it be your family, significant other, or your best friend from kindergarten, these people make up your closest orbits. They are your daily conversations and Facetime calls, and they know you better than anybody else. The next set of orbits consists of your roommates, teammates, and those friends you grab dinner with. And so on.

where it’s kind of hard to find your favorite barista on nstagram and it’s definitely weird to do so and then M her to ask how she’s doing). All of a sudden, your gravity is weaker, and these orbits of “friends but not friends” begin to disband. As these people were never front-runners in your mind, you forgot all about them as soon as everyone was stuck at home. You didn’t have their numbers or social media; they had just existed within your natural occurring life back when you could actually be around people. Not being able to go places or do things and only being able to talk through a screen changes the entire dynamic of a friendship. It forces you to decide who is worthy of your screen time. Over the past year you have slowly whittled it down to a handful of friends and have found yourself in a small social circle again. For most, it could feel like when you were in elementary school. When your family was your close-knit orbit, your friends were another, your classmates and teachers, and then boom, that’s your social system. Intimate friendships were the ones who survived in 2020 because you felt the need to continue to cultivate these connections. They were those you reached out to and became part of your stuck at home quarantine routine. As stay at home orders are lifted and life begins to creep back towards normalcy, do not forget to be kind to those around you and begin to cultivate and expand your social systems again. However, do so carefully and safely, this pandemic is far from over. Remember that people are not only passing you by in life, but that you are passing by in theirs. Even if one is just a comet streaking by or in one of your distant orbits far from you, the sun, they can still see and feel your light. Continue to be bright and warm and always treat people with kindness. @essieplouffe

Stay at home orders forced everyone’s social interactions online, the anniversary edition.

I Never Used to Like Parties, but ’m lying on the oor in a room with a couple of safe people who should probably know better And we are tired, worn the fuck out desperate for one sweet second of empty headed luck My roommate makes margaritas in the kitchen and can almost imagine there aren’t conse uences to this two hour window of ’ll deal with that later These days ’d do ust about anything to get away with recklessness ’d almost kill to nurse a hangover all day long curl around my sick, sorry self in bed relish nausea’s presence like a lover’s too balmy embrace What wouldn’t give to lock eyes with someone beautiful from across a room half lit by smoke and inhale them with the haze ’d go sleepless for a week to go out wearing the kind of dress have to tug at the hem and neck of all night would spit in od’s face without fear for one ill advised kiss od, ’m twenty one isn’t saying that supposed to make me feel young There must be a young, selfish me screaming don’t want to know better anymore, but does anyone feel young tonight don’t want to be those people but od, ’m only twenty one od, want to stop wishing and waiting to make mistakes od, Aren’t too young to be so tired by sabel ee Roden leewritespoems

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the anniversary edition.

Collage by Taylor @country__wife

TODAY’S POLITICALCLIMATE ISN’T SOMETHING WORTH CELEBRATING: FROM A UK CITIZEN’S PERSPECTIVE by Daisy Lacey

BGA, doesn’t have the same ring to it as MAGA however; it is this kind of civic spirit that the disillusioned UK citizens are in desperate need of. Minus the in uence of tango tanned men. If you approached anybody from the United Kingdom today in March 2021, and asked them what they thought of their political climate, no answer would be the same. What you wouldn’t realise though is that internally, we Brits know that we cannot nor will not trust our politicians EVER! It is a tale as old as time. Our nation has predominantly been run by old private school boys, with the odd exception of female leaders and non “Oxbridge” alumni. Nevertheless, it’s the same old story that some stockbroker’s son, who has been privately educated at a prestigious boy’s school, that gets into power. What our major political parties try to do nowadays, is throw in some token “minority” cabinet ministers. My current favourite being our home secretary Ms Priti Patel, who has been accused of bullying, believes that capital punishment should make a return, and introduced a points- based immigration system as the descendant of immigrants herself, always find myself smirking at her contradictory idiocy. Ms Patel doesn’t quite see that she is only there to make our government look “Great”. We were once the nation who told the jokes to the world, nowadays, we are a joke to the

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world. An unelected bureaucrat called Dominic Cummings, the exact type we voted to leave behind when leaving the EU, can drive 200+ miles to test his vision during a lockdown, but not be voted out, no resignation, he still lingers around. Why do you ask? So, the “Great” Mr Cummings can break the competition laws and hand out contracts to his fellow cronies like Dido Harding, somebody who had no prior knowledge or experience in any area of science or technology, to develop a ‘world beating’ track and trace app. The “Great” thing about this app, was her stupidity when she hadn’t considered that viruses mutate, thanks for that Ms. Harding, hopefully you can spend some your £22 billion contract to gain some basic school science ualifications. He is sadly not the only criminal handing out contracts like goody bags at children’s parties, our own Health Secretary Matt Hancock handed out a contract to his former neighbour and pub manager Alex Bourne to create test tubes, he took the money very kindly without having any prior experience in the area. Admittedly, I felt a degree of sympathy towards our health secretary, until the Kent C strain scandal, it was first detected in September 2020, but Mr Hancock decided to terrify the nation about its existence in mid-December. He is consistently erratic in his scaremongering and introduced prison sentences for those who broke quarantine rules, but fails to acknowledge the rules he has broken.

He praises the vaccination rollout programme is laughable. Inoculating 40% of adults with 50% of a vaccine dose is something that we can be proud of, but I sadly don’t share in this delight. There were so many actions that could have been taken to prevent economically damaging lockdowns and the excess in deaths, sadly, all of which were ignored by the schoolboys in charge of our country. It is very easy for me to sit here and blame a government who supposedly represent this “Great” nation, but I feel that some of the blame should be shared across our media outlets. The United Kingdom comes in last place on a list of “trusted print media in Europe”, 9 out of 10 years since the survey was first conducted. et another reat accomplishment for ritain, it amplifies the point I made earlier about being a joke to the world. In light of the pandemic, it has become much clearer why Britain always places last, for the incessant fear mongering supplied has highlighted what a mess we are really in. So, how does one Make Britain Great Again? Although I have my suggestions for a new world order to ensure the Great returns and remains firmly prefixed to Britain, I know full well that we won’t see any change for a while. One thing that needs to go is the Pass the First Post voting system, whereby who ever gets the ma ority first wins. A full electoral reform

would make me believe in my country again, a girl can dream, like she can also dream that we put our star back on the ag at some point in the future. In the meantime, all I can do is hope our lockdown exit plan will be more successful than previous attempts, and that constituents vote wisely at the next general election.

Meanwhile, be our guest, come and join us and laugh at our misfortune under the erratic stupidity of posh schoolboys in power, who see our political system as a school playground. Where nobody takes any responsibility for their illegal actions, where peasants suffer at the hands of rich kids.

How do you grab a slice of this incompetent action you ask? Get those points through our new immigration system, to win the prize of gaining entry into the world’s joke. @daisy_lacey

Photos y: Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona Unsplash) the anniversary edition.

f there is anything that we can take away from living through this global pandemic, it’s that there will always be room for adaptation and evolution. We have seen every area of our society shift into a different format in order to adhere to social distancing and gathering restrictions. The fashion industry is no exception. Fashion, being such an interactive form of art and self expression, has experienced a total systematic rework. From the way we see fashion on the runway to how we buy clothing from a store, there have been new practices put in place to keep the industry fresh. In a time where our dayto-day can easily start to feel mundane, the magic that fashion holds will always remain. Fashion shows have historically become the grand finale of the creative process that is fashion design, featuring crowds of people eager to see the latest styles as models strut down the catwalk. The pandemic has eliminated the crowded factor of runway shows, and has added an exclusive essence to attending one. Designers have been forced to reinvent the traditional runway show in order to showcase their brand’s message in a deeper, more effective fashion. Names such as Balenciaga, Balmain, Khaite, and Prada have hosted a hybrid of virtual and physical showings of their SS21 collections. In fact, this hybrid model seems to be the new trend for the fashion show experience as there are a larger handful of people who consume fashion content online than are attending the shows. The senior vice president of design and new concepts at Nordstrom, Sam Lobban, notes the mesh of physical and digital worlds by stating “I don’t think anyone lives in one world or the other.” This sentiment rings true as we move towards a digitally-run world with people who in spite of being separated by screens, are searching for deeper connections on another level. Balenciaga showcased their Spring/Summer

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2021 through a music video where models strutted through the streets to the beat of ‘80’s classic “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart. Balenciaga’s creative director, Keen Demna Gvasalia, has always gone against the grain when it comes to creativity within his designs and presentation, so it is no surprise that he curated this genius showcase. For his Fall 2021 collection with Balenciaga he even created a video game featuring last year’s collection, taking players through a futuristic world centered around the limitlessness of human destiny. It’s clear that Demna Gvasalia seeks to inspire hope through his work by demonstrating his artistic vision into the future. The use of a music video in place of a traditional runway show created a more casual, fun atmosphere in comparison to the traditional fancy, pristine catwalk. Gvaslia’s belief that “elegance is not relevant” is apparent in his hyperrealism. Since attending a crowded fashion show is no longer the status quo, both Balmain and “cool-girl fashion brand” Khaite delivered their SS21 shows using both augmented and virtalreality. Olivier Rousteing, Balmain’s creative director, installed three rows of giant TV monitors along the length of the runway to allow high profile guests to catch a glimpse of all the action. These virtual guests were accompanied by real-life guests as well, creating a hybrid model of a runway show. haite created the very first augmented reality-infused presentation, as they allowed “guests” to view this season’s items by scanning a QR code in a special book sent to the homes of 100 lucky attendees. Items appeared as 3D renderings on their phones, giving the feeling that they were present right there in their living room. For those not on the exclusive list, the experience can still be recreated by visiting the brand’s website: khaite.com, where you will be prompted to scan the QR code in order to view the collection in the AR lens. This new innovation of AR being brought into the fashion realm is a revolutionary concept. As we continue

to seek these intimate experiences in a time where physical contact is limited, this innovation will surely continue to grow. Prada’s womenswear show was one of the most highly anticipated on the Milan Fashion Week’s schedule, marking the debut of Raf Simons as co-creative director. The fashion house delivered one of the best virtual runway presentations to date, including a Q&A session with Raf and Miuccia at the end of the show. The virtual runway show presented by Prada featured highly detailed shots that feel incredibly personal to the viewer. Care packages, including oolong tea and jams courtesy of Milan’s Marchesi (owned by Prada) were even sent to A-list attendees to get them in the mood for this stellar Simons debut. This take on a virtual show brought an intimate feeling to an otherwise distant sense of community. The post-show Q&A interview featured fan submitted questions, with Raf and Miuccia Prada on the hot seat. This take on the traditional post-show interview added an extra personal air to an already intimate viewing experience. Other fashion houses should take note to pay greater attention to the details being presented to their audi-

ences, since a ashy show is no longer what viewers are looking for. Prada has displayed an outstanding example of the fashion show of the future. This need for a more intimate, personal experience is being sought out by fashion innovators looking for a greater sense of connection to their craft. After being inside for such an extensive amount of time, I think we have all grown a stronger appreciation for our hobbies and past-times throughout the past year. The increased appreciation for the little things in life is bringing those small victories and details to the forefront, fostering an encouraging outlook for the future. Fashion continues to prove resiliency in times of turmoil, creating a phenomenon that will never be lost. Fashion shows will remain to be the center stage of a fashion designer’s collection, and despite the doubts

of critics, they will never die. In fact, virtual adaptations of runway shows will allow for limitless expression in a way that strictly physical shows have not been able to capture. Taking a deeper dive into the virtual world has the potential to create a deeper sense of intimacy between creator-to-viewer through this limitless expression. We could all use the reassurance that the future is bringing abundance into our life in different forms. Fashion innovators will continue to instill this feeling of hope towards the future and look at the light at the end of the tunnel, or in this case, at the end of the runway. @kaitlynduarte Photos from: Balmain SS21. Getty Images, NYFW SS21. taken from lifestyleasia.com, photographer unknown, & Prada.

the anniversary edition.

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t’s the final hour of the party you’ve been eyeing the person next to you all night smoke swirls around the room while morning creeps in and as they inch closer to you, you smell the alcohol on their breath and well... the rest is history. ound familiar

ow... not so much. or some, sex has been on the backburner since the start of the pandemic. According to a diagram created by abrielle assel, T ournalist, in collaboration with ealthline, posted on nstagram, it’s completely normal for libido levels to uctuate in ways not previously seen pre pandemic. The diagram shows arrows moving up, down, staying stagnant, and umping from highs and lows to represent libido over time. According to the post, libido can uctuate due to hormones, medication, level of physical activity, diet, age, sleep, and most importantly stress, anxiety, and depression. With a pandemic, riots and protests happening all across America, a shaky election, a lack of financial stability, and a climate crisis ust to name a few, these strings of life altering events can lead to the bedroom vibes feeling anything but sexy. or others, being trapped in isolation for several months made them want to let their freak ag y and rightfully so. owever, there’s a very fine line between letting it all out and keeping you and your surrounding close circle as safe as possible. According to arah , a year old woman in ew ork City, being in isolation made her want to increase her number of partners significantly in order to cope. C definitely made me more of a hookup person for about a month. After being in uarantine for so long and then finally moving to a new city, threw all caution to the wind. After realizing that my actions weren’t working with how wanted to live and how wanted to handle C , all together stopped. realized was only being irresponsible when it came to sex since was limiting my contact besides my random hookups.

or Mo , a year old in oston, isolation is credited to being the reason why their current relationship did not work out. They said, The crushing silence of early uarantine made me really uestion the relationship was in at the time. Without constant distractions, realized how unhealthy it was, and ended things. f not for uarantine, think would still be tolerating their treatment. o matter who you ask, answers are unanimous that isolation has changed them whether it be positively or negatively. or many people, they learned more about themselves and or their partner. With so much time inside with no distractions, this can undoubtedly cause relationship strains. According to a survey, done by a website called My x ack Coach, of couples say the uarantine has been damaging. Many of these stressors have been caused by C related trauma and spending together. The problem for some is that hooking up outside of their hub is not even accessible with shutdowns and curfews. or those, the pandemic has changed their mind completely on how to view the potential partners in their everyday life. arah believes that the pandemic is the reason why she finds herself in the relationship she is in today.

cantly cutting down the dating pool. or many, polyamorous relationships have still been able to operate as normal despite uarantine. owever, for some, according to ate, having to limit their number of partners due to social distancing rules has given them the appearance of monogamy, which has brought discomfort in their identity as polyam. espite some having these feelings, many others have agreed it’s important to ust be safe and communicate. Mo, who identifies as polyamorous commented, ’m polyamorous, so it’s pretty typical for me to have multiple romantic and sexual partners at once who are all aware of each other... am the friends to lovers trope personified and usually end up falling for people have a strong, organically established bond with already. Most of my hookups that haven’t graduated have been in my circle for a few years now... ecause almost everyone ’m hooking up with is getting tested on the regular it really hasn’t affected my polyamory much. With the world at a standstill hello one year anniversary , the possibility of partying has been obsolete. o, how are people meeting significant others who still brave the dating pool ure,

he and her then friend now boyfriend started hooking up with each other as a way to be safe during the pandemic since they were close friends who were only interacting in the same pod. Throughout the curfews and shutdowns, she realized the more intimate time she spent with him the more she began to want to take their friendship to the next level. Me and one of my best friends had a cheesy friends to lovers fanfiction relationship that only happened because of C restrictions and having so much time to spend together. he said, met up with two different random people on dating apps, and from my experience, a lot of ew orkers are doing this... think the pandemic showed the type of people willing to put themselves and others at risk for sexual pleasure, signifithe anniversary edition.

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there are apps like Tinder or Bumble, but the risks of getting the coronavirus, especially if you are immunocompromised, outweigh a couple of hours in bed with a stranger. And while all jokes and cheesy introductory one-liners are put to the side, it’s important to start the “interrogation.” Are they taking the pandemic seriously? Do they enforce wearing masks? Do they keep their pod small?

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Jane*, a 22-year old woman living in Boston agrees 100 percent that the ‘COVID talk’ has played a crucial role in hookups since the start of the pandemic. She said, “If my partner isn’t on the same page about safety and taking precautions, then I’m not about it. I think it’s hot when a guy takes the pandemic seriously.”

Mo also agreed saying, “I had to drop one of my favorite hookups because they’re continuing to party as normal. As I said earlier, I’m immunocompromised and I have a heart condition. I’m not messing around right now and neither are my current partners, because -not to be dramatic- but this is kinda life or death for me.” For those still choosing to hookup, the number one rule is to stay as safe as possible. Ac-

cording to Bumble, experts recommend still masking up. “If you do have sex knowing that it’s a very risky choice, keep your mask on and try to avoid facing one another,” recommends Dr. Charlene Brown, a physician, and public health expert. With one-night stands seeming a bit too dangerous, many are turning to more intimate relationships with a close friend (or themself ) to ensure that they- and their closest bubble- remain safe. According to a study published by the Kinsey Institute, only 1.1 percent of singles have admitted to hooking up with someone they met on a dating app since lockdowns began. According to Los Angeles Magazine, Trojan condom sales have plummeted and sex toy manufacturers are struggling just to meet demand.

to figure out how that could be. think just knowing you’re in the same boat as so many people in terms of a social life or lack thereof, has given me a boost of confidence didn’t know I needed. It’s provided me with clarity that I can’t just wait around for the right guy to come along; I’ve had the power all along.” If this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we don’t need to rely on meaningless hookups to make us feel happy. Instead, it’s forced us to dig deeper and open up meaningful conversations about self-love and more intimate relationships with the people in our lives. *Names of those interviewed have been changed in order to protect their privacy and keep them anonymous. @maddiiiooyx

So, with this in mind, what will be the future of apps like Tinder and Bumble, and hookup culture in general? Although navigating the dating scene is anything but sexy right now, knowing that you’re not alone has been the light at the end of the tunnel for some, including Jane. She said, “[COVID] somehow has positively impacted my dating life and I’m still trying

the anniversary edition.

by Kenzie Comorbid

+++

yes open, snooze button, Spotify playlist, check COVID stats, empty inbox, vocal practice, no Instagram messages, work for myself, no Facebook messages, work for somebody else, another Spotify playlist, sleep, repeat. Each morning I rise hopeful, but by the setting of the sun my aspiration has sunk and dismay pervades my mind, as if it were the inky black night that creeps across the sky. Like many other creatives, the

Corona virus brought my career to a screeching halt. Or so I thought.

would front and this was where I believed I would find my people.

As a starry-eyed college graduate I packed up all my belongings and moved 3,000 miles from one coast to another in pursuit of my long-awaited place in the music industry. I selected Portland, Oregon because of its innumerable venues, populated rock/metal scene and culture of blithe sociability. I planned to start the band I always knew I

Never could I have imagined the future that would await me- perhaps if my foresight was capable of such divination I would have attended more shows, networked harder or released more music on my own in the five pre-pandemic months I had here. Most days I clutch my regrets close to my chest for fear that they are the last remaining shreds of my

HOW COVID HAS____ AFFECTED____THE MUSIC SCENE

+++ dream. Had I wasted my youth learning to perform when the harsh reality of my adult life is a world without live music? Would I die never having excelled beyond a collegiate stage? I still don’t have those answers, but rather than forsake the passion that shaped my identity I decided it was time to take action. I may not have found the bandmates I was looking for but I gained a network of musicians and bands who inspire me. Watching their perseverance in the face of a global pandemic reminds me that I never made music for the audience- I did it for me. Singing, writing and playing instruments, especially with others, is when I feel most fully alive and present. Although they may not have assumed the form I envisioned I have been blessed with many musical collaborators willing to work with me. I may not be able to play shows but social media and streaming services make it possible for me to share my art nonetheless. Last year, I launched a cover channel on YouTube with my partner and although there have been many bumps in the road our first cover will be released this month! I now meet with a producer bimonthly to work on tracks for my first solo P. My guitarist and percussion friends are even pitching in and I already have a photographer in mind for the cover art. The majority of my life is consumed by working to afford the many pieces of this musician’s puzzle, whether that’s waiting tables or participating in a yoga teacher training (which to my surprise has evolved into an integral part of my emotional, spiritual and physical journey as a performer) but my time with fellow musicians and the little reminders, like purchasing props for music videos or working on my logo are the glimmering stars in my night sky. Since your girl loves to take huge bites that require lots of chewing, I decided that working on my own music just wasn’t enough and I wanted to pivot my day-job to immerse myself further in the music industry and utilize my multimedia and linguistic skills. I invested in an LLC and transformed my music blog into a dual platform, www.bandoverfist. com, where I publish free press articles and sell paid media production services. It’s slow going in the age of COVID but I am honored to regularly work with fellow musicians and

FIRSTHAND.MP3

industry professionals either interviewing them or making their music videos and art. However, there are many nuanced challenges in both my musical and media careers that bring me to the brink of forfeit more often than not. Communicating primarily through social media to reach my peers is infuriating and I would much prefer in person conversation. I’ve been forced to reconceptualize how I acquire and approach interviews, podcasts and music videos in order to accommodate social distancing. I am cautious about spending time in the same space as other musicians and as such have to reduce the frequency of my studio sessions. Working from home makes crawling back into bed not only tempting, but totally feasible, let alone the exacting task of working within feet from a pile of laundry, a messy kitchen or a very vocal pet and refusing those things my attention. A permeating culture of excuses and procrastination has infected both myself and many of my fellow musicians. Putting off hard work has become customary because *gestures broadly* and who can really blame you for not having the energy to do x,y and z? I certainly can’t. The world we inhabit is chock full of mind-numbing trauma and apathy is an innate survival tactic built into humanity to prevent us from crumbling under psychological pressure. Maintaining mental health in isolation for over a year is a gargantuan struggle that I nor any psychologist has a solution for. Yet, there is still work to be done and all I can do is my best as well as understanding that the same is true of all my peers, collaborators and colleagues. I don’t wake up in a new place every day, spreading my message to thousands of adoring fans but each day is different and at least a few moments of it are always occupied by music. Some days I make music videos and serve food and alcohol, other days I learn about teaching yoga and write lyrics. This week I planned some business strategy, Doordashed and practiced bass guitar and hopefully next week ’ll be tracking my first single. There’s no lamp to light my path in such an uncertain era so I have chosen to place my trust in the fire within me in the hopes that my blind steps will propel me forward- this pilgrimage may not be what I had in mind but it sure beats standing around and waiting. @bdbtch666

the anniversary edition.

ALL THE NOT SO LITTLE VICTORIES by Gregg Casazza

or many of us as we circle back on a full year of C regulations, there is an inherent looking back at what we have accomplished in the last days. Without the traditional markers of time’s passage, many of us have felt like the year was more or less wasted. Any momentum that had with it, be it career, interpersonal, or health related all came to a screeching halt as the entire country began to move back home with family, get laid off, attend school remotely and so much more, and often worse. f course, we are all well aware of the many many ways in which C has knocked the wind out of our collective sails. o, cer tainly don’t need to go on endless diatribes describing in detail ust how much this year sucked, we all saw it. ut from all of that upheaval, and distress, we have found new ways to mark our own accomplishments and passages of time. What might seem silly or frivolous out of context of this year, is actu ally a great accomplishment, and examples of our resilience. We have all clung to what we can during this time, for any semblance of normalcy a phrase you hear oft thrown around, in the same breath as the new nor mal or unprecedented times and those accomplishments should and must be cele brated. To have lived through an event like this, and to be able to do anything more than wallow in bed which cast no assertion on, and have certainly spent my fair share of uaran tine days doing ust that is astounding, and to borrow a phrase from prah, Well hello et’s celebrate that While me may not have had traditional successes, or more likely our successes may not have looked exactly like we imagined, that does not in any way diminish the magnitude and scope of their significance. o if you put up a alloween Tree this year to feel like time was passing, give yourself a pat on the back. f you went outside for a walk with your dog everyday for a week, allow yourself to feel that for what it is, an

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accomplishment. And if you feel like all that you can feasibly manage to do in a day, is ust eat three meals, and you did that, then you have done something amazing, and hope you can acknowledge that. hope that we can, and have rewired our expectations in regards to our own success es. reached out to several different people who bravely shared their stories with me to publish in hopes that we can all recontex tualize the ways in which we view what we have done throughout the year. And hope fully, the next time you look at your planner or your daily reminders you realize that each thing you do during the day is not only some silly task you checked off, but a radical shift in what you can and have accomplished this year. greggariously

RECENTERING PASSIONS CORINNE C. think my biggest area of growth was finally figuring out that my intellectual worth was not tied to my ob title. osing my dream ob at the beginning of uarantine opened my eyes to how toxic the way was living and working actually was, and how much of myself had lost because was giving everything had, and all my mental emotional and physical energy to my ob. t also woke me up to the fact that it was NOT my dream job and I had 0 passion for it. ecause had more free time, and mental energy was able to get back to the core values and activities that really made me happy including paintings and cooking, deepening relationships with friends. And because was happier it opened me to even more opportunities, like starting my own business and becoming a cocktail in uencer cocktailswithcorinne. which allowed me to discover do have passion

BODY BEAUTIFUL A . T. I’m proud that I genuinely feel beautiful and that I like the way my body looks, even though it has grown and changed shape in ways I haven’t seen in several years.

LOOKING IN AND CHECKING IN NIKKI G.

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RELEASING TRAUMA

I was always nervous about mindfulness practices because of their focus inward. Sometimes I use self-care as a distraction which is fine but think it’s as e ually as important to have re ective time and do things to heal the parts of me that I avoid in the day to day. finally decided to be a little more disciplined with meditation (something ’ve done on and off for years because of all the extra free time ’ve had uarantining. It’s not always easy, but I’ve come a long way throughout uarantine and ’m so proud to have a mindfulness practice that I en oy now

E M I LY M .

GETTING HELP

I feel like I have grown so much this past year. With so much extra time on my hands, I’ve not only had more time to do things I enjoy, and tap back into my creative roots, but I’ve also been able to do a lot of soul-searching and self re ection. ’ve been able to learn things about myself that I wasn’t able to see before, as well as learn more about other people and their psychology.

ANA D.

I realized that I carry my childhood trauma from my mom dying with me every day of my life, and it impacts me more than I thought. I realized I have abandonment attachment style issues, so I overexert myself in relationships and so much more. But because of this, I have been able to be more mindful of my actions and start healing. This has brought me a lot of tears but also so much peace. feel like ’m finally turning into the best version of myself and in turn I can help others heal and become their best selves as well

I grew a lot since last March, because when we first went into lock down my anxiety and mental health really got so much worse, as I’m sure it did for so many others. While I’ve dealt with these issues for most of my life, this rapid depletion really took a toll on me. ut finally, it pushed me to get the help needed. When was finally diagnosed, my doctors explained to me that I had been treated for anxiety and depression my whole life which were just symptoms of a larger issue. ince my proper diagnosis finally am on the right meds, and ’m able to ade uately process things for what feels like the first time in my life. While I still have so much more work to do, I feel like I’m on the right track

RE-PURPOSED MAE G. I started an upcycled and repurposed fash-

ion and accessory business in December of , and ust as was gearing up for my first ever Spring Farmer’s Market, major business shutdowns governed our local economy and commerce. I had worked so hard to build up inventory to display on my table and suddenly I had nowhere to sell it. I was afraid of using e-commerce platforms because my whole shtick was “Shop Local—Stay Local” but I needed an outlet for my mission on reused textiles and slow fashion. Instead of falling prey to the ever-booming outlet of e commerce, grew the confidence to reach out to local shops and vendors to carry my products in their stores which not only helped my business grow but also supported the other small, struggling businesses. Projects that I let hang on the shelves unfinished were finally up for sale and I was able to produce enough income to cover some student debt, invest in stock portfolios, purchase upgraded supplies for my business and give my family of five a little cushion without them ever knowing that I was struggling in the beginning.

LEAP OF FAITH ANONYMOUS I am proud that I found the courage/strength to make a huge decision that was a leap of faith but was right for my life/health. Of course- I decided to move during the pandemic. It was a big decision but was what I needed to do adjust to this new normal of 2020. It was a decision I needed for my own mental health to feel comfortable in my own space while living in a global pandemic.

LETTING GO D.C I have an active eating disorder. I’ve lost close to 55lbs and I’ve been obsessively using a scale through the past months. While helping a friend move, I noticed, with no malicious intentions, that their scale had ended up in my car. Rather than taking the scale and secretary exploiting it, I took the scale out of my car and expressed to my friend that I think the scale should stay in their car. the anniversary edition.

How to Turn 21 in the Middle of a Pandemic (and still have fun) by Emma Ingenohl

always dreamed of turning 21. The glittery dresses, lip gloss, getting all done up to go out to some bar or club and get so wasted I forget my own name. Finally putting my fake ID to rest. Never did I picture a global pandemic taking over my and everyone else’s lives. Coronavirus has put a damper on nearly everyones’ plans in some way or another. Some people have lost more than others, but everyone has lost something. When these milestones pass us by in ways we could have never imagined, what does one do Well firstly, cry it out. And then do everything in your power to still make it a memorable day. Step 1- Mourn the fact that another milestone is passing you by while we are amidst a global pandemic. Step 2- Accept the fact that everyone has lost so much, appreciate your health and youth, and commit to still trying to make it a great birthday. Step 3- Decide where and how is the safest way for you to celebrate. Are you in an environment that allows for outdoor seating, and are you comfortable going out to eat f yes, go on and have your first legal drink If no to any of the above questions, throw yourself a little birthday bash at home. Step 4- Round up your roommates, friends, or people in your circle who you can safely celebrate with. Step 5- Attire. Wear something that is going to make you feel on top of the world. Whatever that may look like for you. If it’s sweats and a t-shirt, live it up. r go all out and dress to to the nines This day is about you. Step 6- Whether celebrating at home, or going out for a (safe) drink, decor is important. Besides we need a cute background for an Insta pic right PartyCity will be your . Would you want to miss an opportunity to pose with some 21 balloons? I didn’t think so. Step 7- No matter what your day looks like, remember to take it all in and appreciate all that you have. It is so easy to get caught up in all the losses, to feel beaten down by this pandemic and the many other challenges we are faced with today. But with great loss can come extreme gratitude for everything that we take for granted. Take a moment to count your blessings and I can promise you it will be a birthday to remember. @emmaingss

It was after the party and I was watching him, stood red and glowering like a cherry tree in bloom under technicolour dream hot disco lights. I want to know, tell me why when you dance your skin ripples like the tide or an oak, creaking but I saw the horns, the amphibious smile and I thought, yes, he’ll do nicely. I have been watching you tonight and I know what you are you make the drains gurgle and owers wilt, raw as Mars bold as brass the dead eyes of the shark in the tank. I am not scared even of your shadow, stood in the doorway the hallway of my parents’ house, seeing you in candle light I say ‘come in, wipe your feet’ I know what you are pretty thing, sweet devil and you never needed the disguise. @millicenteve_

Artwork and design by Emily Garcia

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