Volume XL November
Issue V 23rd 2017
Masthead
the school
Covers Noah Kahansky
the newspaper
President Zuckerberg
University of Toronto’s independent student paper since 1978 Editor-In-Chief Alina Butt Managing Editor Natalia Herran Senior Copy Editor Rebecca Gao Assistant Copy Editor Erica Sung Business Manager Kelly Chan Public Relations Coordinator Gabbi Gard Design Editor Rel Ryann Visual Content Editor Noah Kahansky Online Editor Hilary Lo News Editor Noah Walker Comment Editor Maxim Basu Music Editor Chantel Ouellet Arts Editor Joyce Wong Mascots Honeybee, Flora and Fauna, Miguel and Paco
Contributors Maxim Basu, Padraic Berting, Paco Butt, Rebecca Gao, Chantel Ouellet, Rel Ryann, Ilya Sarossy
All U of T community members, including students, alumni, faculty, and staff are encouraged to contribute! the newspaper is published by Planet Publications Inc., a non-profit corporation
thenewspaper.ca
256 McCaul St. Suite 106 Toronto, ON M5T 1W5
IMPORTANT SUPERLATIVES FROM THE NEWSPAPER
QUOTE OF THE YEAR “It’ll shut the door on this ball earth” - Mike Hughes, man flying homemade rocket to prove the Earth is flat
SONG OF THE YEAR “I Love You So Much (feat. Chance the Rapper)” by DJ Khaled DJ Khaled’s ode to his newborn son Asahd
MEME OF THE YEAR “Africa” by Toto (or for you cool people, Karl Wolf)
Getting Through
You don’t get to 270 electoral votes without making a few enemies
Finals Season
by Padraic Berting
U.S. Election Night 2016 produced a barrage of sounds. There were victorious cheers in the rolling mountains of the Rust Belt, and angry cries in the streets of New York City. Farther away, loud pangs of bemusement and grief were expressed in a St. Michael’s College common room via loudly blasting Sufjan Stevens at 3 a.m. Everyone woke up the next day with ringing ears, numb but straining to hear the sounds of their new reality. The most egregious sound came from those realizing that a businessman without previous political experience was able to slither into the highest elected office in the United States of America. Since Donald Trump’s unprecedented victory, numerous non-politicians have expressed interest in running for office in the United States, including Kid Rock, Kanye West and most notably, Mark Zuckerberg. Figuring out why isn’t hard, but in the case of Facebook’s founder, chairman and CEO, perhaps he is especially emboldened by the election of a fellow businessman. There’s also the newfound sense of political responsibility he must feel after facing allegations that administrative issues on Facebook allowed Russian hackers to influence the election. Looking at all of this, Mark Zuckerberg’s coming into the crosshairs of politics is as unsurprising as it is unsettling. So far, his movements in the realm of politics have been fairly inconspicuous. The past few years have seen him hire multiple former Obama and Clinton campaign operatives to work for the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative (CZI). He has committed $45 million USD to programs tackling the issues of mass incarceration and affordable housing in various cities. He has even crossed the country to meet with members of the public—from recovering heroin addicts in Ohio to community leaders in Detroit. It all looks good on paper, but all of his humanitarian efforts have a lead underbelly, being implicitly political. Zuckerberg routinely stresses that these moves are purely philanthropic or company-based and that he has no desire to seek elected office, but touring the 50 states for Facebook’s sake seems like a stretch. What’s more, denying political ambitions early on is par for the course for any hopeful seeking elected office in the future. Folks often forget that Donald Trump was teasing a run for elected office as far back as the ’80s, and his moves then were much less telling than Zuckerberg’s are now. In 1988, Trump went on The Oprah Winfrey Show
Z U C K
and expressed his political ambitions. When asked whether or not he would run for president, he candidly replied, “Probably not.” Much later, he hinted more strongly at his political ambitions by nearly running for president in 2011. He even kickstarted the “birther” movement. This movement is an offshoot of the Tea Party movement, and both share the racist idea that Obama was not born in the United States and should therefore have been disqualified from holding the office of the Presidency. In both instances, Trump threw lavish political conjectures into the sphere of public opinion, waited for a response and assessed his next move from there.
After a much-needed but certainly-not-longenough Fall Reading Week, we are now faced with the biggest challenge of first semester: surviving our final exams.
Following the election, Mark Zuckerberg has performed very similar conjectures. In May 2017, he delivered a speech at Harvard University’s commencement ceremony in which he chastised rising income inequality and added that he believed all United States citizens should be entitled to universal basic income. After doing so, as was the case with Trump, Zuckerberg denied that this political conjecture was a statement implying that he would run for office. Only time will tell if that holds true.
When a person’s body is stressed out, a hormone called cortisol is produced. This hormone triggers neurological changes in the brain and heart. The heart beats faster, oxygen enters the blood quicker and the body sweats more to prevent being overheated.
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Zuckerberg, like many ... before him, could be testing the waters to see whether or not the public will take the bait.
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It is impossible to tell at this moment whether or not Mark Zuckerberg will run for the office of the Presidency. He has strenuously denied any intention to run for elected office every time he has been confronted with the notion, and will likely continue to do so for the near future. It might not even be up to him, as backlash from the Trump presidency may prevent the public from ever wanting a nonpolitician in office ever again.
Yet actions speak louder than words, and the moves he has made point to an individual with a finger on the trigger of a potential presidential campaign. Zuckerberg, like many ambitious presidents before him, could be testing the waters to see whether or not the public will take the bait. For the time being, perhaps he’s playing it safe out of cunning: we all know no one gets to 270 electoral votes without making a few enemies.
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Most of us have worried away while studying for an exam, only to blank out and not remember anything on test day. The ticking of the clock, coupled with that one keener in class who finishes the exam before everyone else, can make the strongest of us falter. Stress comes in all shapes and sizes, and this particular type is called exam stress. Some of us are more at risk of suffering from it than others.
In evolutionary terms, stress is supposed to be beneficial because it heightens awareness of predators and warinflicting people, but in modern times—like during exams—it is more of a nuisance. In fact, numerous studies have linked cortisol to memory loss. Sociologists have identified a few reasons why university students are especially susceptible to exam stress: they’re afraid of their future educational prospects, they measure their self-esteem primarily through their grades and they are wary of their parents’ opinions regarding their exam grades. Even in such dire circumstances, one can rationally and intelligently respond to exam stress without freaking out and thinking that the world is going to end. First and foremost, one must remember that whatever test one is writing, the test itself cannot ever be worth the
A Critique of Reading Week To sum it up in a word: meh.
by Paco Butt
So there you have it. The monumental moment (or series of moments, if you prefer) that is Fall Reading Week has come and gone from the University of Toronto. What’s the verdict? Meh. Before this year, students enjoyed a two-day break called Fall Break. It was always a pleasant surprise, being a short and sweet way to take a breath without disrupting the quick pace that tends to grip the Fall term. This break, however, had only been on the calendar since 2009, when the Faculty of Arts & Science had phased out Fall Reading Week. Now, about seven years later, this longer break was brought back by an overwhelming majority through a
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Looking at the causes and cures for student stress by Maxim Basu
physical and mental damage you can cause your body by stressing out. In the wise words of psychologist William James, “The Lord may forgive us our sins, but the nervous system never does.” In the weeks before your finals, remember to drink some tea, to meditate and to breathe slowly. Allow your body to rejuvenate and live in the present. Discuss realistic expectations with those close to you so their opinions and judgments do not add pressure to your life. There is life after finals, I promise. It is also important to “think small” during such times, no matter what Apple tells you. Mark Twain best describes how to do so, by “breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into smaller manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” So don’t leave all of your studying until the week before exams! Study upon study has affirmed that one cannot possibly remember comprehensive material in the span of five to seven days; it takes at least one to two months of casual regurgitation of information to really have it stick in your brain. Visual learners may benefit from making mind maps, connecting all of the exam information in logical terms on a single poster. Some students find it hard to recover after having suffered a particularly bad exam in their academic career, which leads them to develop chronic stress. Such stress is a long-term problem that is very difficult to overcome. It is advised that students identify their weaknesses throughout the year, reducing their stress levels as much as possible by optimally studying. Lastly, do not forget about the incredible array of destressing options the University of Toronto offers to its
student referendum. (Full disclosure—I voted no.) Tacking on three days to Fall Break meant shuffling around time in other places on the calendar. For students, this meant that school started a few days earlier than usual. In and of itself, this isn’t a bad thing. Summer is already quite long, and most students are itching to be back by the end of it. What I thought sucked was how it cut into orientation activities, more popularly (or at least, used to be) known as Frosh Week. Ah, Frosh. I remember my Frosh Week … it was okay. Regardless, it’s an invaluable experience, and losing days did take away from its initiatory nature. Frosh Week is supposed to throw you into a new environment, immersing you in a pool of fellow froshies until you’ve grabbed onto a few that will help you stay afloat. Only then can you come up for air. Usually you’re left with a solid crew of friends and a good sense of the layout and expectations of the university. A lot of this experience can be lost on students when the week becomes condensed. Suddenly you’re having session after session of information and activities thrown at you with only a day or two to really get it. Clubs Fair and the Street Fest get combined into something called … the Clubs Carnival? Huh? I’m sure it went over fine for people, but I wish incoming students had gotten to experience a full week of settling in and getting to know the University of Toronto. The longer break might also make some changes to the time span after fall classes end and before exams begin,
students. Take advantage of what you’re paying for. Join fellow students in meditating during “Mindful Wednesdays” at Hart House, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Or maybe dogs are more your style—be sure to drop by a “Paws for a Study Break” session with St. John Ambulance therapy dogs at the Marvin Gerstein Group Study Room on the first floor of Gerstein Library on a Tuesday or Thursday right up until exams. Stress is bad, but it doesn’t have to ruin our lives. If all else fails, talk to a guidance counsellor at the University of Toronto. There’s plenty of information online, or just email recruit.artsci@utoronto.ca with the subject line, “Guidance Counsellor Request.” You could always get in touch with us, too, or stop by our office—we’re
but let’s be real, that period is always a blur anyways. I don’t think it matters too much. Let’s talk about Fall Reading Week, though. Like any break, you hear the usual, “What the fuck, it went by so quickly!” This is either because people had too much fun (like my friend, who travelled to Taiwan) or not enough (like most of us, staring into space instead of touching our books). What felt different is how courses were awkwardly structured around the break. We had midterms before the break, and then a slew of assignments due right after. I would rather have school, because without the extra days of instruction it was trickier to get time in with a professor or get in touch with classmates. Nevermind that it completely throws off the momentum of the term, which I mentioned earlier. Plopping a week in my lap made me feel like I could relax a bit, but considering the schoolwork left to do, the Fall Reading Week was a recipe for disaster. My family wants me to come home, I want to see my friends and I’m nervously patting my textbook on the cover and telling it, “I’ll be back, I’m just stepping out to buy some cigarettes.” Oh well. I still got some work done, even though I didn’t like how it felt … but maybe I just have a stick book up my ass. Drop us a line at thenewspaper@gmail.com if you feel differently. I’d love to hear how your Fall Reading Week went too!
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the holidays
the happy
all i want for christmas is ... you?
the wind blew like lovemaking dogs...???
season’s greetings!
I don’t want a lot for Christmas There is just one _______ I need noun
I don’t care about the _______ noun
Underneath the Christmas tree I just want _______ for my own noun
More than you could ever know Make my wish come true
Santa Claus looked at the _______ in his hands and felt _______.
Please enjoy the finest of our carefullycurated selection of mad-libs. Let us know if you’d like to see more!
noun
adjective
He walked over to the window and reflected on his gray surroundings. He had always hated the _______ University of Toronto with its _______ and _______
For the uninitiated, basically fill out the blanks according to how they are described: • • • •
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adjective
adjective
adjective
buildings. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel _______. adjective
noun: a person, place, or thing adjective: a word that describes a noun verb: a word that shows an action adverb: a word that describes how you do an action
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather, someone. It was the figure of the newspaper. Santa gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a humble, _______
All I want for Christmas is _______!
adjective
whiskey drinker with moist _______ and _______ ankles—his friends saw him
noun
noun (body part)
adjective
as a gentle _______. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a _______. noun
... I don’t need to hang my _______
noun (animal)
noun
There upon the _______ noun
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
Oh, all the _______ are _______
With a _______ on Christmas Day
So _______ everywhere
noun
noun
verb
adverb
And the sound of children’s laughter fills the air
... All I want for Christmas is you
noun (animal)
adjective
by Alina Butt, Rebecca Gao & Rel Ryann
was prepared for what the newspaper had in store today.
The wind blew like love-making dogs, making Santa _______. As Santa stepped verb
outside and the newspaper came closer, he could see the _______ glint in her
And everyone is _______
You, baby!
But not even a _______ person who had once made a cup of tea for _______
adjective
eye.
verb ending in -ing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
Santa, won’t you bring me the _______ I really need?
I won’t even wish for _______
Won’t you please _______ my baby to me?
noun
noun
Underneath the mistletoe
Oh, I don’t want a _______ for Christmas noun
Santa looked back, still fingering a _______. “the newspaper, even though noun
I won’t make a list and send it
I just want to see my _______
To the North Pole for _______
_______ right outside my door
you’re poor, I love you,” he replied.
noun
verb ending in -ing
noun
I won’t even stay awake to
Hear those magic _______ _______ verb
Oh, I just want you for my own More than you could ever _______
_______ on to me so tight
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
What more can I do?
You, baby
verb ending in -ing
adjective
adjective
_______ dancing at a very _______ party, which had music playing in the noun (plural)
adjective
background and two uncles shouting to the beat.
verb
Make my wish come true
noun
They looked at each other with _______ _______ feelings, like two _______ adverb
‘Cause I just want _______ here tonight
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you You, baby
noun
noun
This is all I’m asking for
noun
number
said, in hushed tones, “I love you and I want _______.”
verb
And I’m just gonna keep on _______
verb ending in -ing
the newspaper gazed at him with the affection of _______ hungry _______. She
All I want for Christmas is _______, baby noun
[repeat with (m)ad-libs until fade]
Santa regarded the newspaper’s _______ eyes and scrawny _______. “I feel adjective
noun
the same way!” revealed Santa with a delighted grin. the newspaper looked hopeful, her face blushing like a gigantic _______. Then noun (fruit)
she came inside for a nice glass of whiskey. THE END
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the music
the music 7
Underground Artists Fight Back
sidetrack getting lost in fudgy grooves somewhere off dupont
Local musicians carve out stages in the nooks and crannies of a gentrified Toronto
by Chantel Ouellet
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Fudgy analogue grooves
by Ilya Sarossy
Independent artists across Toronto are rising up to challenge gentrification, the force most responsible for tearing down their venues. In the past year, many spaces that catered to the city’s underground art scene have been shut down, mainly due to the rise of real estate prices in the downtown area. Among these establishments were The Silver Dollar, The Hoxton, The Central, Soybomb and so on. In retaliation, youthful musicians, photographers, comedians and other artists have banded together to create platforms where their work can be experienced, ensuring that as this city grows and develops, there will still be a passionate and cultivated art scene. Organizations such as Black Siren, which caters directly to young artists, have been working towards buying their own venue where all forms of art would be welcome. Their aim is to have a music performance space, a rehearsal space and rental spaces which can be used for photography, film and a variety of other crafts. Under the guidance of Deborah Daniel, Black Siren finally achieved this goal at the end of August through funding from various benefit concerts and events. The opening of The Hub, a space in the Distillery District, will take place this month, so be sure to check it out on Facebook! Another incredible collection of artists come from the self-branded label, Fried Records. Their musicians are local to Toronto, and they produce a wide array of snazzy music while also seeking to promote and support local talent. For example, Fried Records makes
I Am There My week with LCD Soundsystem and myself by Tristan Bannerman
A cold film of sweat covers my body. My shirt loosely drapes over me, following the movement of my arms, which are following the movement of the sound. I smell weed and the stench of beer, so strong that I can taste it. The noise is loud. I feel my throat closing up. The instruments are shaking.
use of DIY spaces to prevent further erosion of the community; their latest show, Backyard Boogaloo, was hosted behind a churro place in Kensington Market. They are doing everything they can to keep interest growing in the local scene. In their newest release, a band called Passport Radio sings: It’s melting though my fingers, it’s melting my imagination / It keeps me shackled up beneath my own creation. Alex Fecioru, a band member, stated that “venues are slipping away from right under me and it makes me feel shackled to my work, not being able to share it as easily because all the venues are closing down…. I think these DIY spaces are going to become more prolific as venues go under.” Queen’s Park Water Tower is a collective that is much newer to the scene. They link artists from all types of creative communities together, creating a network that allows innovative projects flourish. At the moment, their filmmakers are working on a live video recording series showcasing local musicians (called The Water Tower Series) for YouTube. Through their use of social networking, Queens Park Water Tower has created a platform to promote their members, providing artists who are just starting their careers with the ability to reach a much wider audience. Their next show is at The Supermarket in Kensington on Saturday, November 30. Lucan Wai, owner of The Smiling Buddha, commented: “I’m glad to see Toronto’s youth culture taking a stand
The day had started with a cold sweat and an uneasy feeling in my body as I sat on a Greyhound bus from Toronto to Detroit. After a pit stop in London and a slow drive through the tunnel leaving Windsor, I was finally in the Motor City. I briefly close my eyes in my rented apartment. When I open them, I am standing outside the Detroit Masonic Temple waiting with all the other current and former indie kids of the greater Detroit area. I am not wearing enough layers. My arms feel cold pressed up against the metal barrier separating the stage from the audience. I stand staring at the equipment while someone DJ’s in the corner of the stage. I do this for two hours. Then, they finally walk out. Smoke fills the stage and the lights focus in. Everyone is cheering and clapping, and James Murphy lightly waves to the audience. Then, blackout. I think that anyone who has listened to LCD Soundsystem has had a totally unique and transcendent experience either with or through them. Their music is designed for that teenage feeling—that you are a part of
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Venues are slipping away from right under me and it makes me feel shackled to my work, not being able to share it as easily because all the venues are closing down… I think these DIY spaces are going to become more prolific as venues go under.
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and protecting their artistic endeavours. When The Central was open, new bands and artists could start out there, developing relationships, forming an audience base and getting a taste of their potential. Now, we’re running out of places like that.” There are many other collaborative organizations fighting to preserve the integrity of Toronto’s underground scene, such as Mask Toronto and Buzz Records. Thanks to these driven, hardworking and passionate individuals, our artistic community will survive the obstacles thrown at it. This underground scene and its current climate represents the creative, offbeat essence that is the Toronto we all know and love.
the most mostest thing in the world, the most beautiful love story or most tragic heartbreak. It’s a two hour feeling that you share with the performers and with everyone around you. We wanted a hit and every song they played was a hit. LCD is a band to see and hear; their music is made for large venues, but you are supposed to feel like it’s a basement show. Getting caught up in that is enthralling. You find yourself letting go and dancing. I never asked what the next song was. The cold film of sweat is drying. My shirt is flapping around again, but this time due to the cold wind funneling down the street. I am walking away from “All My Friends,” my teeth chattering, hoping the Lyft I called will arrive sooner. I get back to my apartment and fall asleep to the ringing in my ears. A week later, I am visiting a friend and listening to LCD Soundsystem. I sit there in her dorm alone on the verge of tears. My friend wakes up. I snap out of it—a unique and transcendent experience from James Murphy and
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This wasn’t the first time my Uber driver had been hesitant to let me out of the car when I reached my destination, one of the events I am covering for the newspaper. For good reason, drivers seem hesitant to leave someone on an abandoned street in the middle of nowhere in Toronto. I don’t blame them, either. The only security the street offered was the lights in a bakery that was closed for the night. It was no King Street.
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It was too dark to see the street numbers, so my friends and I tucked into doorways trying to find something to give us a sense of direction. Instead, down the street we found a group of five or so people. They told us they were from Russia and Ukraine but worked in the city. We asked if they were going to the event, and they said they were looking for a party.
You will want to pack a coat you don’t care about because there is no coat check
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Don’t wear heels or club clothes—you want to be able to get down to the music
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Valuka played an amazing set! it was super eclectic with bollywood, disco and house.
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Not gonna lie, seemed like a weird place to just “look” for a party. I saw a sole person go in through a black doorway a little further down and across the street. We walked over, and as we got closer we could hear it. We were headed to this particular warehouse on this particular Saturday to seek out an event put on by Sidetrack. Sidetrack aims to create unique club environments that provide space for Toronto’s electronic and DIY communities. Tonight they gathered us somewhere off Dupont so that we could listen, and more importantly dance, to the sounds of Vakula, Gingy, Efemmera, Mystk Marshall and others. When we went through the unmarked door, we walked down a short hall that opened into a large room. It was dimly lit with blue and purple lights painting the drywalled interior. The room seemed to almost funnel past the bar into the belly of the party, where the DJs were set up.
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Not too many techno bros, which is a huge plus
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It was primal, sweaty and bare, as were the people. No matter how many times I drift from the indie rock sphere into the electronic music scene, I am always struck by the individualistic nature of it. You can wander into a dance floor by yourself, start dancing and eventually you will not be alone. People filter on and off the floor as solo travellers or in packs. Everyone is here to dance and to dance without inhibitions. There are limbs soaring and bodies vibing. Without even knowing it you are suddenly swaying your hips, moving your arms and smiling. There’s something about the lights that make everything move slightly slower, but then again maybe it’s the dark that makes you unable to see anything. Whatever it is, its presence is omniscient and you can’t help but surrender yourself to the party happening around you.
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I left at 4 AM but I think it went another half-hour
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