the boozepaper 2012 by The Newspaper

The University of Toronto’s Independent Weekly

Since 1978

HELENE GODERIS

the boozepaper

VOL XXXIV Issue 27 • May 1, 2012

THE BOOZEPAPER

May 1, 2012

It’s important to take the time to reward yourself with life’s simple pleasures. Invite Steam Whistle’s Home Delivery to roll in with some brewery-fresh draught and all the equipment you’ll need to get a party started. Just add good friends and some delicious chow. Let Steam Whistle be the reward at the end of your day. Cheers!

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Toronto brewers on the map As the popularity of craft beer has taken off in the last two decades, the city has become a hub for craft breweries. Most are micro- and local, some are now national brands, but all of them are a significant part of Toronto’s changing landscape. B.

U. H. G. I. A. W.

M. C. L.

D.E. R. Q. O. S.

TORONTO MICROBREWERIES A. Bellwoods Brewery (est. 2012) 124 Ossington Ave The product of two Amsterdam Brewery alumni, this “brewery cafe” just opened in early April. B. Black Creek Historic Brewery (est. 2009) Black Creek Pioneer Village 1000 Murrary Ross Parkway C. C’est What? (est. 1988) 67 Front St East One of the more famous and well-stocked pubs in Toronto, C’est What was at the van-

guard of the local craftbrewing movement in the late 80s. D. Cool Brewing Inc. (est. 1997) 164 Evans Ave Cool Brewing’s all-natural beers cleaned up at the 2010 Ontario Brewing Awards. Home delivery service is available. E. Denison’s Brewery (est. 1997) 164 Evans Ave Denison’s brews exclusively Bavarian-style beers and is slowly expanding its beers’ availability in southern Ontario. F. Granite Brewery (est. 1991) 245 Eglinton Ave E. Voted by Ontario’s leading craft brew website, The Bar Towel, for Best Conditioned Cask Ale in Ontario, and Ontario’s Best Microbrewpub. G. Indie Ale House Brewing Company (est. 2012) 2876 Dundas Street West

A recent addition to the local craft-brew landscape, Indie Ale has a mandate to be independent and “to make great beer that is never bland and never “lite”, “dry”, or “icy” in flavor.” H. Junction Craft Brewing (est. 2011) 2938 Dundas St. West Another new member to the local craft brewing community, Junction uses all-natural ingredients. I. Kensington Brewing Company (est. 2011) 319 Augusta Ave A community brewery in construction, its beers are currently brewed at Black Oak Brewery and served at Burger Bar (319 Augusta Ave) and elsewhere. J. Mill St Brewery (est. 2002) 300 Midwest Rd, Scarborough A major contributor to the revitalization of the Distillery District, Mill St. Brewery began brewing out of an original tankhouse in the district before turning it into a brewpub in 2006.

K.Mill St Brewpub and Store 21 Tankhouse Lane L. Steam Whistle Brewing (est. 1998) The Roundhouse, 255 Bremner Blvd Steam Whistle operates out of the John St. Roundhouse, next door to the CN Tower, which opened as a CN Rail train repair shop in 1929. M. The 3 Brewers (est. 1986) 275 Yonge St The company’s only Englishspeaking location, this brewpub has its heritage in a line of brewers from northern France. N. Toronto Amsterdam Brewery (est. 1993) 21 Bathurst St. Amsterdam has its origins in Toronto’s first brewpub, opened in 1986, The Amsterdam and Brasserie and Brewpub.

P. Cameron’s Brewing Company (est. 1995) 1165 Invicta Dr., Oakville Q. Cheshire Valley Brewing Company 75 Horner Ave, Etobicoke R. Great Lakes Brewery (est. 1987) 30 Queen Elizabeth Boulevard, Etobicoke S. Old Credit Brewing Inc. 6 Queen St., Mississagua T. Trafalgar Brewing Company 1156 Speers Ave, Oakville HOMEBREW U. Fermentations! 201 Danforth Ave

MICROBREWERIES GTA

V. Soda Centre & Home Brewer’s Retail 4180 Kingston Rd, Scarborough

O. Black Oak Brewing Co. 75 Horner Ave, Etobicoke

W. Swansea Brew Club 22 Ripley Avenue

THE BOOZEPAPER

May 1 2012

Save like a student, drink like an emperor Students search for the best bloody caesar in the city, while keeping their wallets in fine fettle To celebrate the opening of an Italian restaurant in Calgary, bartender Walter Chell spent three months developing Canada’s cocktail, the Bloody Caesar. Chell’s inspiration came from Venice, where he was served spaghetti alle vongole, pasta with tomato and clams. He took the tomato sauce and clam mixture and turned it into the base for a cocktail, differentiating it from the Bloody Mary. The Caesar’s traditional preparation follows the “one, two, three, four” formula--1-1/2 oz. of vodka, two dashes of hot sauce, three dashes of salt and pepper, four shots of Worcestershire sauce, and 4-6 oz. of Clamato juice. It is served with a celery salt-ringed glass and garnished with a celery stalk, lime, and, depending on the bar, spicy beans, jalapeno peppers, pickles, and prawns. While an estimated 250 million Caesars are sold yearly in Canada, our national cocktail is virtually unknown beyond our borders. Crooked Star - the DIY caesar

Cara: The house picante packs quite a punch, and gives the cocktail its alluring volcanic crimson, but the ingredients are neither shaken nor stirred. Worcestershire sauce steals the show but doesn’t know its lines. Helene: Best ratio of vodka thus far. What makes Crooked Star a great place for caesars is that each bartender here lends his own signature spin. First caesar resembled one of those sandtastik colored sand art projects from grade school: the bottom layer was all worcestershire sauce, middle all vodka, and clamato floating at the top. I had to mix this myself with the straw. The next caesar was a great improvement, topped with skewered ginger. But the caesar that wears the crown is the French caesar; it’s shaken with dijon and capers, it’s the color of Brutus’ blood, and it tastes like sweet revenge. The Painted Lady - the dark horse caesar

Helene: Best rim job in town. Rooster sauce, Montreal seasoning rim, and hot little twisted pepper definitely make this the most unique caesar. What a surprise. Cara: Like liquid BBQ in the best way possible. The bartender’s selection of hot sauces a la roulette make for a fortuitously satisfying concoction. The Bellevue - the hot-to-trot caesar

Cara: Lime juice, olive brine, tabasco (not their homemade hot sauce) and a good amount of good vodka make for a fiery elixir that’ll have you blowing smoke--off the solid amount of ice in your celery salted glass, that is. Helene: Vivid flavor. Hot and heavy, the way we all probably like it. The Lakeview - the steal of a caesar

Server: How hot do you like it? Cara: Hotter than Newt Gingrich in a hot tub full of swingers. It’s spicy, but still a little too sweet for me. Bitter’s not a bad

thing, when we’re not discussing ex spouses. Helene: Hot mama. Distinctive horseradish. Mama could’ve been a bit sweeter. Caplansky’s - the sweet and sour cocktail

Cara: This is what sweet and sour should save themselves for. While the sweet of the tomato juice overpowers the spicy tabasco and deliciously sour taste of the pickle garnish, I think the holy matrimony will last. Bodi: Pickle. It’s unusually sweet. I recommend Caplansky add a little au jus in this caesar. The Victory - the bloody but unbowed caesar

Helene: Sweet and classic. No rim frills, but it’s dependable. The lassie of caesars. Simone: A flame of spice with a sweet, peppery finish.

Home is where

the hooch is

A geographic jaunt through homemade brews Suzie Balabuch That old adage that “homemade is always better” is pretty much undebatable when it comes to food. But what about booze? Although not the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of liquid happiness, the practise, nay, the art of homemade brews has been around for ages. In fact, if hooch-making was an actual occupation, it could probably best prostitution in terms of career longevity. The following is a collection of homemade liquors, varying by nation, process and sheer badassery. Serbia- Rakija Alcohol content: 40-60% One thing’s for sure: Serbs take their home-brewing seriously. The sheer variety of their moonshine, called rakija (rah-kee-yah) is testament to their dedication to the craft of homemade brewing. The most popular is slivovica, a plum alcohol so potent that at first it feels like you are literally drinking fruity fire. The aftertaste (or after-fumes, more like) leave you with a heady, and decidedly delightful buzz, if you can survive the initial burn. Other common products for Serbian hooch include apricots, apples, pears and blackberries. Peru- Pisco Alcohol content: 30-45% Home-made alcohol, or pisco, is so common in Peru that it is not unheard of to consume it at mealtime on a daily basis. The manufacture and sale of Peruvian hooch is unregulated and actually legal, and is said to have been consumed by the ancient Peruvians. Pisco is a grape brandy that can be on

the lower side of alcohol content. Flavoured offshoots of the drink, called chicha, typically have a lower content and are reportedly even enjoyed by children from a young age, which can lead to alcohol dependence. Finland- Pontikka Alcohol content: 40% and up One of the many names for Finnish home-made vodka can literally be translated as “fire sauce.” It seems that this particular variety of home-brew is not for the faint of heart. Now that it is much easier to buy reasonably priced alcohol in Finland, the practise of making pontikka is rarer than it used to be. Nevertheless, the devoted few maintain the tradition, using grain, potato or sugar and using the simple process of flash distillation (ideally done 3 times) to make this potent drink. Philippines- Lambanog Alcohol content: 30-83% (multiple distillations) Containing some of the most interesting ingredients on the world moonshine stage, lambanog is made of distilled sap from the nipa palm fruit or of the coconut flower. Called arak in other South Asian countries, the drink is usually consumed on its own or with ginger beer, a popular drink in South Asia. It doesn’t take much more to sell us on what sounds like a delicious homebrew, and it seems the Philippines are making the most of it, turning a former cottage industry into a reputable money-maker with several known brands now legitimately selling the product in a variety of flavours.

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True north, strong and free (read: independent) whisky

Ontario’s Forty Creek Whisky maintains its Canadian roots Andrew Walt To say that John Hall knows a thing or two about whisky would be something of an understatement. Owner of Kittling Ridge Estate Wines & Spirits in Grimbsy, Ontario, where he opened a winery and distillery simultaneously in 1992, Hall has been hailed as one of the world’s premier whisky makers thanks to his acclaimed Forty Creek brand. After a tour of his facilities guided by Hall himself, it’s not difficult to understand why. Hall exudes an appreciable passion for whisky making and possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of spirits and distilling techniques the world over. As a result, Forty Creek is the product of a lifetime dedicated to the pursuit of exceptional whisky. A career in Canadian whisky Distilled from fermented grains and produced the world over with distinct varieties based on regional characteristics and indigenous ingredients, the world of whisky is vast indeed. “I had heard back in the late 80s about the single malt scotch whiskies that were being promoted by the Scotch whisky industry and about the small batch bourbons down in Kentucky, but no one was doing anything with Canadian whisky,” explained Hall. “It seemed to have been the same old same old.” Canadian whisky, historically, is made with only rye grains and has since become essentially synonymous with ‘rye whisky.’ These days, however, most of our blends tend to have more in common with American whisky, which is generally made from corn. So while the terms ‘Canadian whisky,’ ‘Canadian rye whisky,’ and ‘rye whisky’ are often used interchangeably, it’s curious to note that our whiskies are not required to contain any rye at all so long as the products “possess the aroma, taste, and character generally attributed to Canadian whisky,” according to our food and drug regulations. Forty Creek, however, is a blend of rye, barley, and

corn grains. As a result, Hall is blending the traditions of Canadian, Scotch, and American whiskies. “I am not so much bound by tradition as I am inspired by it,” Hall often noted. The Forty Creek way Forty Creek whiskies begin with a trio of rye, barley, and corn grains – rye for fruit and spice flavours, barley for its nutty notes, and corn for its strength and body – carefully selected and separately handled. The grains are crushed in a process called “milling,” and water is added to create a “mash” which is then carefully cooked. Enzymes then convert the starches released from the mashing process into sugar. Fermentation follows, for which Hall has a cold cellar housing multiple stainless steel tanks. Here, yeast is added to the cooled mash for a few days until the sugars are converted into alcohol and carbon dioxide. The end result of the fermentation process is called “distiller’s beer” and contains approximately six to eight per cent alcohol. This substance is then distilled in copper pot stills, creating a “nice, colourless, lively water called ‘eau de vie,’” according to Hall. Once cooled and condensed, it becomes a young whisky spirit ready for maturing. Poured into separate and specially selected American white oak barrels, Hall lets each spirit sit for up to ten years in his vast warehouse. “This is my favourite room; it’s where I want to move my desk,” Hall quipped as we strolled through the towering rows of patiently aging barrels. Once the rye, barley, and corn spirits have been ideally aged, Hall brings the three together in Sherry cask barrels for an additional six months so that they may become acquainted with one another. The final blend becomes Forty Creek Barrel Select. A handcrafted Canadian whisky Of course, there’s more to Forty Creek than that. While Hall describes himself as a humble whisky maker, his keen understanding of the in-

tricacies and nuances of producing world class whisky spirits make him worthy of being considered a whisky artist. He matches each spirit with a charred white oak barrel of the appropriate age, grain, and texture. The rye, barley, and corn spirits he blends are carefully selected marriages instead of arbitrary matches. His keen sense of whisky spirits even allows him to differentiate ages down to the year based solely on smoothness and aromatic content. In fact, Hall has tasted each of the more than 100,000 barrels of whisky spirits his distillery has produced. “It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!” he joked. However establishing a “handcrafted Canadian whisky” is just one aspect of his mission. In addition, Hall has, as he explained it, set out to “bring heritage back to Canadian whisky.” In the years before Hall entered the whisky business in 1992, some 15 distillers closed down. Canadian Club - possibly the most prominent brand in Canadian whisky - is now owned by American spirits company Beam Inc. UK based Diageo owns Crown Royal, and the French company Pernod Ricard has Wiser’s. Forty Creek, meanwhile, is entirely independent. Privately owned, publicly enjoyed At the end of our tour, Hall treated us to samples of Forty Creek Barrel Select, Double Barrel Reserve, and Confederation Oak Reserve. While demonstrating his whisky wisdom with each tasting note and blend appraisal, Hall makes a remark that would seem to define succinctly the spirit of his industry: “People who enjoy whisky like to share it and bring it to their friends.” We then realized that we shouldn’t have been surprised that this genuine whisky magnate took the time to meet with us personally. For him, to spend a couple of hours sharing his passion for whisky is just another pleasure.

Whisky maker John Hall gives the newspaper a personal tour of the distillery.

THE BOOZEPAPER

May 1, 2012

Our favourite drunks from the movies: this page: written by Dan Christensen opposite page: written by Alan Jones

The Recovering Drunk

– Dennis Hopper as Shooter in Hoosiers As it would plainly be a crime not to include a Dennis Hopper performance on a list such as this, his Oscar-nominated turn in Hoosiers would seem to be the obvious choice. Shooter is the (kind of) endearing, basketball-obsessed town drunk who publicly embarrasses his family and is eventually hospitalized, despite his best efforts to kick the bottle so he can help his son’s team to victory back in the early 50s. Wait a minute – what about the countless drug binges and physical threats on his own family? Oh, my mistake that’s the real Dennis Hopper. My apologies, Shooter! Call me old-fashioned, but of everyone listed here, this wash-up really is my type of guy. He’s just such a wholesome drunkard!

The Closet Drunk

– Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend Now here’s a real pro. This guy could tour the country running seminars about how to hide your addiction from everyone who cares about you. The scene where, in quick succession, he checks all of his usual hiding spots for secured liquor lasts almost a full minute! And what’s most impressive and/or inspiring is the pride he holds in what a prolific liar he is. Viewers beware, however. At one point Don’s brother finds a full bottle of rye he’d stashed and pours every drop down the drain: this is possibly the most heartbreaking shot in the whole picture. From the way the other characters react, it seems much easier to be a secret drunk these days, as you don’t have to put up with the crazy social stigma. And yet some things never change – Don remarks to the bartender “You need it most in the morning; don’t you know that by now?” Amen!

The Fun Drunk

– Dudley Moore as Arthur Bach in Arthur While it’s obvious that “The Lost Weekend” has an anti-booze message that documents the protagonist’s utterly miserable nearsuicidal binge, with “Arthur” it’s much tougher to tell. Arthur is so charming, funny, and content to be an alcoholic, why would you take the bottle away from him? So what if he has a Superman poster on his wall and basketball hoop on the back of his door well into his thirties. It’s all part of his man-child appeal! And considering he’s a millionaire, he probably throws the greatest parties, so in recommending he quit you’d really just be depriving yourself. Clearly his old British personal butler (John Gielgud) is inclined to agree. All I know is I wish I could drink whiskey from a paper bag behind the wheel of a convertible, and I wish John Gielgud was my enabler.

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which drunk do you want to be? The Self-Destructive Drunks

– Mickey Rourke as Henry Chinaski and Faye Dunaway as Wanda Wilcox in Barfly Barfly is a semi-autobiographical film written by the great American poet and novelist Charles Bukowski, who famously spent a great deal of time in bars, taking ten years off from writing at one point in order to get drunk. Given the subject matter - a rude crude drunk with the soul of a poet - one might expect a film like Barfly to offer a self-serving romantic view of the life of an alcoholic, but Chinaski is too stubborn to try breaking the cycle of addiction. Likewise, fellow barfly and newfound lover Wanda is under no illusions about her drunkenness. At one point she warns Henry that she’ll leave with any man who offers her a fifth of whisky, and low and behold, she does. Perhaps the most incisive touch is the utter lack of character growth. Chinaski ends the film the same way he begins it: a drunk looking for a fight.

The Lucky Drunk

Egbert Souse is one lucky guy. It may not appear so at the beginning of the film, but everything is bound to work out for him. On his way to look for a job, he stops off at the tavern for a drink. Who does he meet? A film producer looking for a director. Afterwards, he stops to read the newspaper, and inadvertently trips a bank robber, becoming a town hero. I won’t even mention his rather unsafe driving habits. Throughout the film, Sousé (“It’s pronounced ‘soo-ZAY’”) has a habit of ending up on the good side of fate’s sometimes cruel decisions, and not because his plans ever work out. And I’m not sure if it has anything to do with luck, but WC Fields has one of the most impressive proboscises I’ve ever seen.

ILLUSTRARTIONS BY SAMANTHA CHIUSOLO

– WC Fields as Egbert Sousé in The Bank Dick

The Suicidal Drunk

– Nicolas Cage as Ben Sanderson in Leaving Las Vegas When washed-up Hollywood screenwriter Ben Sanderson heads to Las Vegas, he intends to do one thing and he intends for that thing to be the last thing he ever does. He intends to drink himself to death. In the process, he forms a relationship with a world-weary prostitute (Elisabeth Shue) and vomits and gets some seriously bad hangovers and spends an awful lot of time shaking uncontrollably as his body rejects the poison. If the idea of suicide by alcohol is new to you, as it was to me when I first watched this film, Nicolas Cage’s performance renders it utterly believable. And like Arthur, Ben Sanderson is a drunk with financial means, so unlike Henry Chinaski, a lack of funds won’t prevent the inevitable.

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May 1, 2012

Where in the world is Ontario beer?

“When it comes to brewing, Ontarians could be more like the Belgians,” says Stephen Beaumont, Toronto based beer reviewer Cara Sabatini

Craft brewing in Canada varies among provinces, explained Beaumont, verbally mapping out the various characteristics of beer across the country. “Ontario has always done straight ahead beer styles very well,”

tive flavour. “Just now, we’re starting to do more experimental things. Sour beers, barrel aged beers, with different yeasts and bacteria in them.” Toronto bars and restaurants have a stake in peo-

craft beers on tap. “There’s now an understanding that when you open a place you really have to pay some attention. You’re not going to open with Canadian and Blue.”

and writing about beer and other alcoholic beverages, was not referring to the ale’s temperature but rather the surge of popularity beer gained among Canadians in recent years. Ontario craft brews are no exception to the growing trend. Beaumont’s recently coauthored book to come out this fall, The World Atlas of Beer, is an ambitious attempt to catalogue craft beers all over the world. “What I discovered at the end of the book was that craft brewing around the world is a whole lot bigger than I thought. It is massive. And it’s only going to get bigger,” said Beaumont. The 20th century saw a homogenization of large beer companies in Canada, such as Molson and Labatt, while “craft brewing was in crisis,” according to Beaumont. However, in the early 1980s, the success of independent breweries such as Upper Canada and Brick Brewing Company marked the beginning of the Canadian craft beer movement. Beaumont explained that big brewers are currently looking elsewhere. Last year, Budweiser fell from the second to third best

to the changing drinking patterns on this side of the globe, explained Beaumont, and people’s desire to diversify their palettes. Currently, Ontario beer drinkers have over 150 local brews at their disposal to satisfy such curiosity. The Liquor Control Board of Ontario is partly responsible for the boom in craft beers available to Ontario consumers. For the first time in Ontario history, the LCBO will attend this year’s Craft Brewers Conference in San Francisco. “The LCBO recognizes where growth is. They have the most up to date numbers because they sell every bottle of alcohol in the province,” said Beaumont. While the LCBO is more receptive than in previous years, the government corporation still poses barriers to some craft breweries. Flying Monkeys Smashbomb Atomic I.P.A. was banned from LCBO shelves in March, according to the Torontoist, because the brand’s potentially provocative packaging risked violation of the government’s mandate to promote a certain image of alcoholic beverages.

said Beaumont, citing German lagers and English ales as Ontario’s staple beers. “But Montreal is the heartland of experimentation,” said Beaumont, who attributes the experimental approach in Quebecois craft brewing to a strong Belgian influence in the province. If you ask a Belgian brewer what style of beer they brew, they will tell you, “it’s my style,” said Beaumont who looks forward to his frequent trips to the country famous for its craft brewing, and hopes to see more of its influence on this side of the Atlantic. “They don’t tend to fall neatly into categorization.” Currently, many Ontario craft brewers produce beer with strong hop flavours, but original styles continue to emerge, such as Muskoka’s Spring Oddity, which uses Belgian yeast, juniper berries and orange peel to give the beer its distinc-

ple’s current interest in craft “Sometimes I just want to have a pint.,” says beer reviewer beer. Beaumont cited bars Stephen Beaumont on Ossington Street and Colat Le Select Bistro lege Street’s Smokeless Joe’s as providing a number of

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“Beer is hot!” Stephen Beaumont exclaimed over his pint of pale ale at Le Select Bistro on Wellsley and King Street. Beaumont, who makes his living tasting

selling beer in the States, and Anheuser-Busch barely batted an eye. “Big brewers have basically given up on the Americas and Western Europe.” The growth of craft brewing in Ontario is due in part

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Ice wine stands the chill wind of an unusual winter

Niagara’s ice wine industry overcomes mild winter temperatures, produces more savoury product Suzie Balabuch The ice wine makers of the fabled Niagara region have had some interesting weather to deal with this past winter. With one of the warmest winters in recent memory, temperatures were well above seasonal averages. Ice wine grapes can be delicate and thin-skinned, depending on the variety, and must freeze on the vine in order to be considered an authentic ice wine. In November, the ice wine grapes are netted to protect them from hungry birds. Then, the grapes are left on the vine until they are frozen and ready to be picked, which can be anywhere from December to February.

Mild temperatures like the ones experienced this past winter can be worrying for ice wine makers. For Inniskillin’s Senior Winemaker Bruce Nicholson, warm weather is not an extreme threat to his grapes, just something to adapt to. “Milder temperatures mean you’re just waiting. The process of thawing and freezing actually is a good process, meaning not to the point where you have to pick it.” Deborah L. Pratt, the Public Relations representative at the award-winning

ice wine company, seconds Nicholson’s opinion. Being mindful of weather changes and patterns is important and can help guarantee a good output. “We’ve always been used to fluctuating in the temperatures for winter, so we watch the extended forecast. We have picked as early as December 2nd, as late as March 5.” Apart from the more obvious freezing process for which the product is named, ice wine makers must also follow strict Vintners Quality Alliance rules when it comes to harvesting. A sustained temperature of at least minus 8 degrees Celsius must be reached over the period of a few days. This rule is based on the origins of ice wine in late 18th century Germany, during a particularly cold spell when the grape harvest was frozen on the vine before being harvested. The Niagara region, with its warm, sunny summers and reasonably cold winters was the perfect region for German immigrants to introduce the production of the famed dessert wine. Pratt emphasizes the im-

Frozen grapes are handpicked and pressed in the vineyards of Niagara on the Lake, Ontario portance of keeping in the tradition of harvesting ice wine. “If you start to make a product that’s already established in another country, you owe it the respect... We didn’t invent ice wine, and so out of respect for Germany, we set the rule saying it can only be called an ice wine if and only if it follows this set of rules.” The typical Niagara winter is able to provide a string of consecutive days hovering around the minus 8 mark. With the mild winter this past year, the outlook for the usual stability of cold weather was uncertain. However, the vintners’ worries disappeared when a series of colder nights (which is when the grapes are usually harvested) made it possible to pick the grapes in early January. By the end of the first week of the month, Inniskillin’s Vidal variety grapes were harvested and ready for pressing. Nicholson stated, “We like to have a freezing and thawing process. I don’t like rain, particularly, depending on the variety you have on

the vine. Some of them are more susceptible to rotting because of the thickness of the skin. Vidal, which is the vast majority of the grapes left for ice wine, have a thicker skin, so they can handle winter in the milder temperatures a little bit better.” Worrying about winter temperatures is all part of the finicky ice wine making process. Although there is always the possibility that the yield will be lower because of certain weather patterns, the quality of the wine always comes first. Nicholson re-affirms his calm approach to some of the problems faced as a cause of the warm winter, choosing to see it as an advantage. “Freezing and thawing is what enhances the character. I believe that it actually removes some of the bitterness and sometimes, the medicinal characteristics that you’ll get if you pick them early, very early.” Sounds sweet to us.

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May 1, 2012

What’s in a wine?

A short journey through the history and geography of wine Elena Churilova Wine, as most of us know it, is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grapes and a staple of Western Europe. But the beverage has a varied history, inspiring some discussion about what constitutes wine, and its proper modes of production and consumption. The first production of wine dates back 8,000 years ago in Georgia, and made its first appearance in the Balkans in 4500 BC. Currently, some of the most popular wines found on Canadian restaurant menus are Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz, and Pinot Noir. These wines are produced by fermenting grapes with deep red and purple skins. After the grapes are crushed, the juice is left in contact with the skin to give the wine its rich red color and taste. However, not all wines are grape based. There are also wines made from fruits, starches, flowers and weeds. one can find wines produced from apples, elderberries, rice, dandelion and even marijuana! California vintners began experimenting with marijuana wine in the 1980s. “It had a pungent herbal aroma that called to mind a college dormitory on a Saturday night” wrote wine columnist Michael Steinberger in the The Daily Beast, the Internet magazine Slate. The original marijuana wine of California vineyards blended the bud with rosé. To produce such a delicacy, winemakers use a pound of marijuana per cask of wine, ferment it for nine months, and voilà! Perhaps a more refined alternative to the weed brownies? Wine is also an important cultural aspect in the Eastern Hemisphere. The most popular rice wine is the Japanese sake. Made from rice and water, sake is made through a process that is similar to the production of beer. Al-

though made from rice, there are over 50 different rice varietals, giving a range of distinct flavors, just like red wine. Winemakers are highly selective of the water they use, as water is very important to the taste and the final result of the sake. Sake can be consumed warm or cold, but if you are in Japan, do not be rude by drinking sake and pouring it only in your cup! In Japan it is polite to pour sake into each other’s cup. Speaking of traditions, for the traditional St Patty’s Day in Ireland, not everyone drinks beer. Some opt for a love affair with mead, a honey wine consumed for centuries by Celtic nations! Discovered by Irish monks in the medieval times, mead was believed to enhance virility and fertility. Hence, consumed at Irish wedding ceremonies, it is believed to have given birth to the term “honeymoon” when for Irish tradition the newlyweds would drink Mead for one full cycle of the moon. In many areas of the world, there are other traditions and sanctions surrounding the beverage. In the European Union the word ‘wine’ is protected by law and defined only as fermented juice of grapes. The legal definition has been the cause of a few verbal wars in the European world of wine. The French refused to acknowledge Germany’s alcoholic beverage made from pressed apples, Apfelwein, as wine and opted for its exclusion from the definition. The main difference between the grape-based wines and the fruit wines like Apfelwein, apart from the different ingredients, is that fruit wines do not improve with bottle age and unlike grapebased wines, are meant to be drunk within a year. However, apples or grapes do not seem such distinct ingredients when compared to

some of the following wines that used to be on the market. Fish was the main ingredient used by the Chi- n e s e

who a t tempted to make f i s h wine in the 21st centur y. If that sounds odd, some of the American winemakers used army worms to produce their wine. W h i l e i n the past and still today, poisonous snake wine can be found in Thailand, Vietnam, Japan

and Korea. How do you make poisonous snake wine, you ask? Simply catch a poisonous snake, put it in rice wine, and add a pinch of herbs. There is no danger in consuming such wine, as the venom is dissolved by ethanol. The final oddity of wine is simply its taste. Not everyone enjoys sipping wine, so there are things that people do to make it taste better. Jancis Robinson, a wine critic and author told CNN her experience of wine tasting in

Shangh a i , C h i na. “In Shanghai wine is completely misunderstood and something people feel like they ought to taste because it’s fashionable,” said Robinson. “People with a lot of money here buy very expensive French wine, but don’t really like the

taste, so they pour something like Coca Cola or Sprite into it.” While others might think that mixing two good things cannot be wrong, French, Italians, Portuguese and Germans might criticize such practice as putting new wine into old bottles, so to speak. What cannot be doubted is the evolution of m o d e s , methods and preferences in the world of wine.

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AA model: open for discussion Excluded from GTA Alcoholics Anonymous, agnostic sobriety support group welcomes guest Talia Gordon Founded in New York in 1935, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was among the first formally established fellowships solely dedicated to attaining – and maintaining – sobriety. Today, the organization and its tenets have famously come to represent a tried-and-true model for recovery from alcoholism. Popularly depicted in television shows and movies as often-somber church-basement gatherings, AA group meetings have become iconic of support-group subculture, and of what the road to sobriety might look like. However, these dismal depictions are rarely congruent with the positive experiences of scores of people who have considered themselves part of the AA fellowship over the past 70 years. Unfortunately, for many people (alcoholics or otherwise), AA has remained shrouded in secrecy and membership or meeting attendance stigmatized by shame. The double-edged social stigma of alcoholism and abstinence as well as the negative portrayal of AA in popular culture has deterred many would-be sobriety seekers from attending a first meeting. When I contacted Roger, the AA Toronto Agnostics website administrator about attending an open meeting as a writer, his response was immediately enthusiastic: “Yes, you can come – it’s a great meeting!” On the phone, he added kindly, perhaps in reference to unspoken assumptions I might have: “Of course, you must be terrified.” I had assured Roger otherwise, but as I walked toward the First Unitarian Co n gregation o n

Tuesday evening, my heart was pounding. After I found the meeting room and joined the seated circle of people, the first name call-and-answer introductions began: “I’m John, and I’m an alcoholic.” “Hi John!” and so forth. When it was my turn, I stuttered out my name and my reason for attendance, to which everyone responded, “Hi Talia!” After the introductions finished, however, a fellow raised his hand in protest; he felt that my presence at the meeting was inappropriate, and in violation of the principles of AA’s twelve traditions. As he spoke, I was overcome with shame at realizing my imposition – how my presence could be a rude intrusion into the sacred space cultivated by a common experience I did not share. But as I stood up to gather my things, a chorus of voices protested my departure. The woman beside me reminded the group, “We do things by consensus here.” As others responded emphatically that I was welcome, it was agreed that I should stay. The meeting began and people took turns sharing their thoughts and feelings on the three topics elected for discussion: compassion, anonymity, and public controversy. A far cry from dreary scenes of folding-chair circuits of despondent strangers, the meeting atmosphere was warm and comfortable, marked by a strong undercurrent of mutual respect and friendship. The topic that drew the most attention was public controversy – sparked by the discussion about my place at the meeting and the involvement of the media in a recent conflict within the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup of AA. The conflict, which involved the removal of the agnostic branches of AA, including We Agnostics (whose meeting I attended that evening) and B e -

yond Belief from the GTA Intergroup official roster of meetings, was made public last summer in a Toronto Star article. Torontonian members of AA felt that the city’s agnostic groups had diverged from the traditional doctrine through their modification of the “Twelve Steps” to exclude the word ‘God.’ However, Toronto’s agnostic AA groups felt that God had no place in their path to sobriety, but wanted to follow the AA framework. In particular, AA’s success is often linked to adherence to the principles of its “Twelve Steps” program, which has long drawn fire for its religious language and Christian overtones. Historically, AA emerged from the folds of the Oxford Group, a religious Christian movement that emphasized personal salvation through individual conviction, confession and surrender to God. Much of AA’s doctrine and language still echo these principles. Indeed, the role of religiosity – whether in spiritual belief or devotion to sobriety – is a foundational element of the AA model. For many, however, the inclusion of God in AA’s “Twelve Steps” and other publications has discouraged participation in the program. Even for those who initially joined AA, the agnostic groups are a welcome alternative. Ylana, 27, came to her first AA meeting when she was 22, six months after finishing her undergraduate degree. For her, the religious aspects of the program held little interest. “At first I blocked it out of my head – a lot of people were talking about God and I didn’t understand what that meant or why they were talking about it. It didn’t have any real meaning for me,” she explained. For Ylana, it was the community of people she encountered that made AA helpful right from the start. “It was successful because there were a lot of supports

and people at the meetings who were really friendly, offered me their number and just held my hand, basically,” she explained. At that point, Ylana was attending meetings every day, where she knew there would be people who she could talk to about her problems. “They all had really, really, similar characteristics and disabilities, and I felt like I could really easily connect and that they could understand me and offer me the kind of advice I needed,” she explained. However, Ylana began to feel that the language and belief system embedded in the AA doctrine was limiting. “A lot of the meetings had a lecturelike, dogmatic tone to them. It felt like people were saying the same clichés; they seemed to just fall back on things that they’d read or things they’d heard and it just didn’t sound real – or as real or open,” she explained. While the sense of camaraderie rooted in shared experiences remained, Ylana became interested in finding people who were open to discussing topics that veered away from AA’s rigid spiritual doctrine. “I stumbled upon the agnostic meeting, and what I liked about it was that they were more open to just talking, to exploring philosophies and ideas with a more open mind. It felt more comfortable, less like church,” Ylana said. She felt that the traditional AA meetings were too “formulaic,” and described sometimes feeling alienated, “I just stopped going to meetings, because I thought ‘Okay, I don’t feel like having this conversation a n y more.’ I

thought, ‘I don’t want to drink but I don’t want to follow this either.” Through the agnostic groups, Ylana was able to find find a space to discuss her own thoughts and experiences more freely. As the conversation continued at the We Agnostics meeting Tuesday night, people offered their thoughts on the place of the group under the broader AA umbrella and discussed the ways that anonymity can sometimes perpetuate the stigma around alcoholism. Many addressed me directly, warmly and thanked me for coming. When it came to the gentleman who had earlier expressed discomfort with my presence at the meeting, he elaborated his concern, “You can’t just come to one meeting and think you know what AA is all about; you could come to ten meetings and still have no idea. I’ve been coming to meetings for 33 years and I’m still figuring it out.” His words struck me powerfully. In attending, I had sought to capture the thoughts and feelings that night; at the very least, a facet of the AA experience, and to break open the misconceptions that might prevent people from coming to meetings. I had hoped, perhaps, to gain a better understanding of the agnostic approach to the AA model. That evening, as a stranger – an observer and an outsider – I found myself folded into the atmosphere of collectivity and support created by the people who welcomed me and shared their thoughts and feelings.

THE BOOZEPAPER

May 1, 2012

Babes in Beerland

The woman of beer. No, we’re not talking about the Bud Light Girls. Vanessa Purdy

from Portland, Oregon earli- women’s “beer needs.” “We some are not intimidated er this month. She said PBS’ do not need special beers, by the world of men around As anyone with a televi- goal is to encourage women we just want opportunities,” them, but many are, and feel sion knows, beer marketing to overcome gender barriers she told the newspaper in more comfortable learning rarely features women, un- in the beer industry. “They an email. “There are now a around fellow women.” less they’re wearing booty have role models now, the lot of women beer bloggers In comparison to ten years shorts. But what is shown in ones I met thought they and women's beer groups ago, more professional opthe mainstream is far from were the only one. And this and the word is spreading,” portunities have opened the reality of the beer indus- way you gain some instant she added. up for women interested try, both in terms of its con- confidence, because all of Sonja North of Black Oak in pursuing a career in the sumer base and producers. a sudden there are other Brewery in Toronto agrees beer industry. But, as many Take Mirella Amato. She’s currently Canada’s only female cicerone, the technical term for beer connoisseur. She entered the industry as a second career and has found significant success with her own company, Beerology. “I’ve always been a fan of craft beer, I was very lucky to have discovered it early on,” said Amato. “I became very curious about it and studied it on a personal level as a beer geek. And then later on when I was contemplating a career change, I figured I might as well pursue my passion,” she added. The community of ladies working in the beer industry, be they brewers, lab techs, drivers, or really anything in between, is growBrewmaster Teri Fahrendorf mashes out malted grain on one of her many stops at breweries ing. And, more importantly, across theWest Coast. they are growing closer together thanks to networks like Barley’s Angels, and the women that you can now with Dale. “As a female beer of the women in the beer Pink Boots Society (PBS). connect with and network consumer, I don't want to go business will tell you, the Barley’s Angels, an inter- with,” Fahrendorf said. to Bud Camp with the Bud industry is still not without national network of beer girls, but I also don't want its difficulties. “Some of the education clubs for women, A beer for all tastes to drink a beer with a pink challenges that I face (beis essentially the consumer What about those “girly label,” she said. “I think that sides not being able to lift branch of the Pink Boots So- beers”, perhaps with fewer in the past, this has led to fe- a 58L keg) have been seemciety, and it has grown from calories and a fruity taste, or male beer drinkers feeling a ingly subtle but really stick five to seventeen chapters in a stereotypically girly logo bit abandoned. We need to out in my mind,” said North. only one year. and colour scheme? educate women that craft “I'm often challenged about The Pink Boots Society “It’s been my experience beer isn't just for the boys.” my beer knowledge. Last started almost five years that women and men - eveweek I had a security guard ago. Initially just a list of ryone has their own palette, Supporting women in the give me a hard time enterwomen brewers, it has and different flavors are go- industry ing into the back of an event grown to include all women ing to appeal to different Educating women about because he didn't believe who work in the beer indus- people,” said Amato. “The the challenges they face in that I worked for a brewery. try. Founder and president sad side effect is then that the beer industry is a top Thirty seconds later, a male Teri Fahrendorf had the idea men who like fruit beers feel priority for these beer babes. from another brewery sailed while on a cross-country weird about it,” she added. As Dale puts it, “Part of the right by him and he didn't brewery tour. After making Lundy Dale, founder and reason I took this on, was be- question it,” she added. connections with women president of the British Co- cause women were scarce in Despite these challenges, brewers across North Amer- lumbia branch of Campaign the executive and the indus- North and the other ladies ica, the all-volunteer-run for Real Ale, is more blunt try, and my hope was that that I interviewed said the PBS took off. Fahrendorf about her feelings on the in- I could draw more women most important thing was spoke with the newspaper dustry’s attempts to cater to in. Women want to learn, to support one another and

the industry as a whole, men included. In fact, these women's beer organizations have significant support from men in the business. It’s the passion and perhaps a new perspective that women bring to the business that leads Fahrendorf to believe that “women can revolutionize the industry.” These groups have made it their goal to improve the beer industry by supporting talented individuals, regardless of their sex. Fahrendorf explained, “We decided, we’re not gonna say negative things about anybody because we would rather be beer champions, we’d rather champion our members. Thats the bottom line: are you a woman, and are you passionate about beer.” At the end of the day, it’s all about the beer. “I think good beer is awesome because of its versatility. From a velvety stout to a crisp bready lager, the amount of flavor profiles are epic,” said North. This sort of appreciation is what Amato hopes to spread through her work. “To people who say they don’t like beer, I say, how many have you tried? Although I can’t relate to it, I’m sure there are people out there that don’t like beer. My main goal is to get everyone to be more adventurous with what they’re drinking,” she said. And really, it shouldn’t be surprising that women are finally awakening to the huge potential of working in the beer industry. After all, the first brewers were women, it was simply part of their role in the home. “I would love to see every brewery have tours on mothers’ day,” she said. “Maybe women who never drink beer might, just for the sake of history, toast the moms that first started brewing.”

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THE BOOZEPAPER

The One Mile Beer: Ontario brewery gets local for nostalgia’s sake

Cara Sabatini Last September, Toronto’s Black Creek Historic Brewing Company set out to grow all its ingredients for a new beer within a square mile of the brewery. By using techniques and machinery that settlers in Ontario would have nearly 150 years ago, Black Creek plans to put a truly local beer on shelves this November. “We’re returning beer to its original, local roots,” said Nick Foglia, Manager of Food Services at Black Creek Historic Village. “It tasted like it would have in the 19th century. This is the closest you would get to how it was back then.” In the 1860s, brewers used

various plants from their estate to add to their brew, such as lavender, lemon balm or rosemary. “In [Black Creek’s] second year, they started getting creative . . . putting stuff into the beer that would give it a different flavour,” said Foglia, citing Black Creek’s lemon balm beer as an example of this creativity. “This project is an extension of that.” The Village planted a hops garden two years ago and, last spring, planted half an acre of barley. In August, Black Creek employees harvested, dried and threshed the hops by hand. However, Black Creek’s “pioneer style burning system” is without the benefit of electricity, so the process is not entirely

on site. Trafalgar Ales & Meads in Oakville will malt, roast and return the barley to Black Creek in the fall to complete the brewing process. “The best thing about this project is it reminds people that beer is an agricultural product,” said Foglia. As such, the project is subject to the exigencies of the growing season. Black Creek’s plans to reduce their carbon footprint and reclaim the local aspect of original Ontario brewing have proven a difficult task.

NICK RAGETLI

Black Creek Brewing Co. goes back to its roots, growing all ingredients on site

“[Last year] we just didn’t have a good crop. It didn’t take.” While he admits that growing and processing all ingredients on site is not a sustainable business model, Foglia insisted that a one-kilometer beer is more sustainable for the local community. “We’re going to invite members of the public to be involved in the process.” People have become more interested in craft beer and want to try new flavours, explained Foglia. “Back in the day, in the 1860s, there were

probably over 150 microbreweries in Ontario,” said Foglia. The 20th century saw the rise of large companies like Molson and Labatt, and the disappearance of experimental craft brewing. “It’s kind of funny because we’ve come full circle.” Black Creek One Mile Beer will be available for purchase in November. Visit blackcreekbrewery.ca for more information.

Beer geeks seek refuge in the Market Kensington’s new hole in the wall, Thirsty and Miserable, serves only beer

Jackie Booth Tucked in between a fish market and the Army Surplus Store, Thirsty and Miserable is a low key dive bar for Toronto’s beer lovers. Open since February 2012, the bar serves beer exclusively. Manager Katie Whittaker established the bar as a venue where beer is the drink of choice, straying from the traditional well-stocked back bar. “It’s basically a beer geek dive bar,” said Whittaker of Thirsty and Miserable. “You’re in the middle of Kensington Market, you’re surrounded by fish stores. It’s not fancy, it’s down and out, but we’ve got good beer.” Thirsty and Miserable offers a diverse range of beers on tap, many hailing from Belgium and Canada. Bottled beers come from Belgium, Canada, and Ger-

many. Everything is ordered straight from the bar, with the options scrawled on chalkboards. Make sure to bring some cash along, as the bar has no ATM. Whittaker enjoys the rough and tumble feel of the bar. The bar is free from adornments like televisions or pool tables, so music and conversation fill the small space. Whittaker hopes the beer and the casual atmosphere will speak for itself. Located in the heart of Kensington Market, Thirsty and Miserable fits in to the international vibe. A spectrum of beers and an unassuming venue are conducive to casual nights out. The only way you’ll leave thirsty and miserable is if you show up expecting a cosmo. Thirsty and Miserable 197 Baldwin Street Toronto, ON Open every day 6 p.m. - 2 a.m.

THE BOOZEPAPER

May 1, 2012

Beer without barley? You betcha The gluten-free beer market grows with the arrival of Toronto-based Heady Brew Company The glutenfree diet has gained a lot of footing in recent m o n t h s , winning over celebrities like tennis pro Novak Djokovic and actress Gwyneth Paltrow. Although a sort of fad diet for the rich and the famous, gluten-free eating is an actual necessity for people suffering from celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that is caused by a reaction to gluten protein found in wheat, barley and rye. People with celiac stick to gluten-free diets out of necessity, and although the diet has positive effects such as increased energy and healthy weight loss, the restrictions can often be daunting. Unfortunately, beer is on the list of items that people with celiac cannot consume, since beer traditionally contains cereal grains like wheat and barley. A sad thought indeed, said Mary Culver, President of the Toronto Chapter of the Canadian Celiac Association. In an interview, Culver lamented the sheer irreplaceability of a cold pint. “In the summer, there is nothing that quenches your thirst like beer,” she said. Fortunately for the beerloving, gluten-sensitive among us, a new product has arrived on the burgeoning gluten-free beer scene. Toronto-based Heady Brew Company, created by Robert Cundari, has created a tasty, satisfying beer that is sure to satisfy celiacs and non-celiacs alike. It all began when Cundari took over as bakery manager at his family’s gluten-free food company. Cundari had been working for the company while completing his education, finally becoming more of a permanent fixture about six years ago. Cundari’s niece and mother have celiac and gluten sensitivity respec-

tively, which maintained his interest in trying out new products. The road to the perfect gluten-free beer was not an easy one. With his y o u n g freebeer seeki n g cousin Ty l e r, Cund ar i began experimenting with his first glutenfree recipe in his nonna’s basement kitchen. “My beer went from undrinkable, to juice, t o “ N o t bad,” back to undrinkable, and then finally I found the sweet spot for the Honey Citrus. I wasn't going for any particular style of beer. I just wanted something that had flavour and was very drinkable....Throughout the course of making this beer, I brought it to as many places as I could - parties, Jack and Jills, home. Everyone loved it. I have friends that now crave my beer. It's a great feeling,” Cundari shares. For Cundari, the evolution of Heady Brew Company is very much a family affair. In reference to his niece and mother, Cundari says, “I now have some guinea pigs for my new products, who are also my two hardest critics. What's interesting is that for me and everyone else that I speak to do not know any celiacs, until they know what a celiac is.” Culver echoes the lack of awareness surrounding celiac disease, emphasizing that the number of those suffering is actually much higher than estimates can tell. “For every member, there

is another member. For diagnosed celiacs, there are around 15 to 20 000 in Canada that we know of. And then there are a lot of people who are not celiac, but have nonceliac gluten sensitivity.” With so much gluten-free experience in his family history, Cundari can sympathize with those with celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. “I understand how hard it is to find good gluten free products and I enjoy giving people something that I created. It's nice to know that people enjoy something that you put time and effort in. If someone comes in to my bakery (we do not have a retail space) for a meeting or a plant tour and I find out that they or

chance for a tasty pint when out on the town. Her excitement upon hearing the news of a Toronto based glutenfree brewery is palpable. “When I’m out, I always look for it because we publish a newsletter four times a year, so we like to keep our members informed of any new breweries or new bakers.” Cundari echoes the sentiment, and emphasized the simple, yet essential point of his venture. “I hope that celiacs can go to a pub, order uncontaminated gluten free fish sticks and a pint of Heady, while their friends are sitting there with their separately made gluten full fish sticks and a pint of Mad Tom IPA without anyone blinking an eye. It's the simple things in life that people miss out on and I understand their plight. I'm lactose intolerant and allergic to eggs. My wife loves cheese-filled omelettes. Go figure.” For more information on Heady Brew, visit http:// h e a d y b r e w c o m p a n y. com/. For more information about the Toronto Chapter of the Canadian Celiac Association, visit www.torontoceliac.org

someo n e they know is a celiac or can't eat wheat, I make sure that they do not leave empty handed.” Culver excitedly supports the new venture, and the

NICK RAGETLI

Vanessa Purdy

in the

news

Corrections officer charged with smuggling alcohol and drugs into Etobicoke jail Last Tuesday, police arrested a corrections officer at the Toronto West Detention Centre for allegedly trying to smuggle alcohol and marijuana into the prison. The suspect, Adam Bertoli, 33, was found with a package containing alcohol, cigarettes, lighters, rolling papers, and marijuana. Police obtained a warrant to search his home in the area of Poplar Roads and Childs Drive on Tuesday, seizing marijuana, oxycodone, cocaine, and money. Bertoli is set to appear in court this week.

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THE BOOZEPAPER

Dear Boozie

Trust an old friend about a new guy? Find a new guy in an old male friend? Or just get drunk and say how you really feel? Dear Suzie, I recently got in touch with my old friend from university. We used to be really close, and would spend all our time together, but him and I were just friends. He got in touch with me, and after 15 minutes of talking, he confessed that he had been in love with me from the moment we met. We’ve known each other for 6 years. On the one hand, he was always just my buddy and I could literal! ly walk around in my undies around him with no awkwardness. On the other hand, I always found him attractive. When we at school together, he always had a girlfriend, so he was not available, and because of that, I was quickly able to just see him as my friend. After this confession, I don’t know what to do. Should I talk to him about it? How do I bring it up? Signed, Doe Dear Does, I think you are just the greatest because you are in touch with your feelingsQ!!! AHhahaa. hahahahahaa. Ok, down to business. TThis guy is into you, that’s fo shizzle. So now, waht do you do??? Well. Well, you should definitely talk to him and tell him how you feeeeel. LIke in an old soul number from the 60s where everyone wore matching suits. Just tell him that you’ve always liked him, and that now that you know how he feels, maybe you could work something out. Don’t keep your feelings in the dark because this one of thsoe things that you will regret when you’re 67 and old and kinda smelling like rice pudding. So do it! YOu only live once. You’ll sleep when you’re dead. Sincerely, Booozie

Across 1. Dish on a spit 6. Bird’s nose 10. Computer scratchpad 13. Pancake topping 18. Suffice 19. Merit 20. Lifetime 21. Momentarily stop playback 22. Sporting venues 23. Stately vegetation 24. Fisherman’s friend 25. Property manager 26. Chinese philosophy 27. Rioting group 29. Caesars, for example 2

31. Keypad code 32. Gentle yank 34. Keep quiet; be ___ 36. Duo 37. Once prominent internet company 38. Pod partner 41. Flight board information 42. Cellist ___ Ma 45. Not quite right 47. Roman household deity 48. Tweak, as a video game 51. Clemency 53. Diamondback snakes, notoriously 56. British luxury and sport cars 60. Breakfast beverage 6

61. Can be divided 62. Is assisting a criminal 64. Adult males 66. Hawaiian souvenir 67. Things to be connected 68. Thin 70. Dinner dish 73. Wipe out 77. Tokyo, once 78. Insults online 80. Baseball parks 82. Juniper drink 83. Thick 85. Hangs on to 87. What the floor is made of, if you’re a bored kid 88. Larson musical 12

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Dear Anonyomous, Oh my! This friends sounds likes a major beeyotch. No offense, I know she’s your freind but serisouly, where does she get offf? Has she even met your guy? Probably not. Let me guess: she’s kinda uptight, has her shit together, and has been with one guy her whole life and therefore thinkgs she is the shit. I say NO! CAPS LOCK ON. No to the oppressive friend. You have to tell her that your lovey-dove love means a lot to you, and that you hope that she will give him a chance, at least. It wouldn’t kill her to take a minute out of her day to get to know a very important person in yoru life. It’s your life! It’s your life, don’t you forget. Ok? OK. Good luck you can do it, don’t be afraid!! Just get to it. Bitches be crazy. Suzie, I mean Boozie.

Want to ask Suzie a question? Email Suzie at suzienewsie@gmail.com, or submit (anonymously, of course!) at www.thenewspaper.ca, in the blue box on the lower left.

The Crossword

Dear Suzie, I recently started dating a great guy. When I told one of my friends (whom I love dearly), she all but told me that she did not approve. I know that she meant well and that she expressed her opinion out of love and honesty, but I was a little bit annoyed with her. What should I do in this friendship situation?

128 137

129

89. Common conjunction 91. Colourful stain 92. A Subject, object, and verb unit 94. Umpires and referees 99. Ontario gallery 102. Disperse widely 103. Hostile physical actions 104. Smells the roses; ___ down 106. Long expanse of years 107. Each and every 108. Nocturnal duration 110. Symbol of sadness 112. Possessive pronoun 115. Guided a tour 116. Sick of; ___ up 117. Corn unit 119. Beaver project 121. Simple negative adverb 122. What losers of battles hope to win 123. Aquatic 126. Tab bonus 128. Tail motion 130. Upstairs storage place 133. Knight’s address 134. Ego; sense of ___ 136. Injury 138. Trade 139. Industrious insect 140. Relax 141. Afraid 142. Models of 56 across 143. British progressive rock band 144. Slow boiled meat and vegetables 145. Cultivates; ___ to Down 1. Martial art 2. Scrape by, as a living 3. Stiller or Affleck 4. Eve’s mate

5. Breast 6. Wager 7. Aural organs 8. Length times width 9. Was on bended knee 10. Chaotic 11. Grows old 12. Manhattan opera company 13. Taint 14. Tired sigh 15. Flee; ___ away 16. Application 17. In and of itself; ___ se 18. Gym floor 28. Spend money 30. It’s where a will is 31. Regarding the mail service 33. Ranges 35. Mother 37. Without delay 38. Commoner 39. European social rank below a marquess 40. British bottom 43. Still (adv.) 44. Raw mineral 46. Wrath 49. Breakfast grain 50. Search for oil 52. Enjoy the great outdoors 54. Forests and jungles 55. Antagonist’s abode 56. Cynical 57. Home sweet home 58. Hurry up; ___ with it 59. Lurk in the shadows 61. Shelled slug 63. Social pass time 65. 2003 Will Ferrell movie 69. Necessities 71. Hot morning beverages 72. Santa’s little helpers

74. Bond, Bourne, or Bauer 75. Because, with a temporal tinge 76. Go inside 78. Chain link boundary 79. Double 74 down 81. Move rhythmically 84. Head out to sea; set ___ 86. Cuddly marine mammal 88. Hold in, as information or water 90. Evening meal 93. Thick black goop 94. Elongated circle 95. Do clerical work 96. Prepare a paper aeroplane 97. Corrosive substance 98. Tour journey 100. Acquired 101. Be in debt 104. Great ball of burning gas 105. Glum 109. Blood pumps 111. Snitch 113. Motion forward 114. Performance platforms 116. Morsels of truth 118. Reverts from 9 down 120. Among; in the ___ of 122. Man’s married mate 123. Selfish word 124. Wine and spirit preference 125. Ultimatum word 127. Speed limit 129. High school certificate 130. Play a part 131. Attempt 132. Dance genre 133. Speak 135. A small handful 137. Adult male

HELENE GODERIS