Creating connections Strategies for managing teenage friendships at school

By Michaela Pointon

Creating friendships is a vital part of a child’s development. We learn to share, be empathetic, navigate disagreements and sometimes experience judgement from others. Entering the next stage of relationships during high school is another experience, typically where emotional connections begin to develop.

Navigating friendships is part of any teenage experience. Having a teacher or an elder mentor to help support and guide young people through the challenges of friendships during this time is important.

Kidspot New Zealand says, “While children aged between five and 12 generally enjoy companionships of convenience, the high school years usher a new kind of relationship.

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“From around the age of 12, friendships change purpose, focus and function. [Our] Children begin to seek greater intimacy and trust in their friendships. This social development accompanies their cognitive, physical and personality maturation.”

Te Kete Ipurangi (TKI), says teachers supporting student friendships by encouraging students to make friends or offering useful and timely guidance when needed is meaningful. Being a positive role model and respecting individual differences of students, as well as modelling care, patience and positive interactions with students will impact the culture between students and their learning environment.

Providing opportunities for ongoing student connections, as well as helping students to find appropriate rules, will make students feel as if they have purpose and relatability within their peer group. Finding ways to positively support students to make connections and friendships inside the classroom will also ensure the class environment runs smoothly.

Kidspot New Zealand says taking the time to listen when a child is in emotional pain or distress is important. “Unfortunately, our teens are more likely to push us away than confide in us, so we need to make it easy for them to talk.”

They say it is tempting to flood young people with ‘decades of wisdom.’ However, asking questions such as, ‘How has this affected you?’ or ‘Should all friendships last forever?’ is a good place to get students to consider the possible bigger picture of their situation.

Helping young people navigate friendships during their impressionable years can be significant to social development. As teachers, supporting students to navigate relationships on their own, while offering support where appropriate is essential. To read more or to download resources available, visit: inclusivetki.org.nz or visit: www.kidspot.co.nz.