BH Six & Seven | September 2022

S18

8. Recipe:RockyRoad Cake

10. Financial Decluttering

14.Puzzles

16. Drink More Water?

S2. Spanish Kitchen Recipe

S4. Souter Lighthouse

If youfeellikegetting outin the freshair and trying anew outdooractivity, thenthis month’smagazine might just have the answer!

Christchurch Harbour Ornithology Group (CHOG) arenotjust abunch of ‘Twitchers’. They supporta varietyofconservation projectsand would love youtojointhem. For more detailsonwhatthey get upto seepage

S14

Bourne WaterDragonsare also seekingnew members. They areaninclusive dragonboat team forall cancer survivorsofallages.If youfancy paddlingonthe beautifuland tranquilRiver Stouryou canfindout more info onpage S10.

Andfinally,ifyouarea cyclistorhorse rider youmay want to lend your supporttoRide72. Theevent takes placeonSunday 18th Septemberat theLambInn,Winktonand aimstokeepvulnerable roaduserssafe, adheringtothe changesinThe Highway Codethatweremaderecently. Detailson page S6.

Best Wishes, Julie

Apologies. TheJunefrontcover of BHSIX &7EVENshould havebeen creditedtoWendyBrown

S6. Ride 72

S8. Regent Centre—What’s On

S12. GroundedCommunity

S14.BirdWatching

S20. Travel:Barbados

S24.ShortStory

S32. Happiness

50.Wineofthe Month

52.Competition

56.Beautiful Gardens

61.Recipe:Stuffed Peppers

62.Book Review

Doyouknowwhereyourmoneygoes?No,me neitheralthough Iamgettingbetter.

Formanyyears Iwastold Iwasn’tgoodwith moneyandmyteacherstoldmethat Icouldnot domaths. Well,guesswhat? Ibelievedthem.

Ironicasitseemsnow,butin2002to2012 Iran abusinesswithmyexandguesswhat? Ihadto understanddiscountsandpercentagesand‘do deals’withcustomers. Ilovedit.Notonlythat,I handled,forthemostpart,accounts receivables andpayables! Yousee Ihave akindofgeeky sidetomeandeventhoughitmaytaketime, Iget thereeventually.

Sowhyonwhy,doI stillcarrythetitleof“not goodwithmoney”aroundmyshoulders. Itrynot to.What Isaynow“Iusedtobebadwithmoney.”

Thetruthis, Iamokaywithmoney,but Iloveto spend.That’sthetruth.

Sojust recently,probablylike alotofpeople,I amgoingtotakemyfinancesintomyownhand.

Isaylikemany,withrisingpriceseverywhere, thereisnever abettertimetoget agriponyour expenditureand cutbackwhereyoucan.

Therefore, Iamhelpingsomeclientsdojust this,get agrip.What Ifind,isthemostcommon factoris alackofknowingwherethemoneygoes andthereaninsistencethatmoneyisnotspent frivolously.I know,for afact,that Idon’tconsider myselffrivolousbutneitherdo Ireallycheck pricesandsimplybuywhat Ineed.Thatisnot alwaysthebestwaytoshop,so Iamencouraging mycustomerstochoosedifferentlocationsas, indeed, Iamtoo.

Notonlythat, IquestioneachpurchasenowasI havediscoveredmytwonemesis’s!Healthfood shopsandcoffees! Iseemtodrinkcoffeelikeit’s goingoutoffashionandcanpurchaseuptotwo coffees aday,combinethatwith alittlehealthfood shopsoireeandnextthingyouknow,hundredsof poundshavebeenwasted.

Ihavecreated aspreadsheetwithbudgetson what Ishouldbespendingandthismonth Iam keeping acarefultracktosee,whereI amgoing wrong.Intruth, Iowemoneyanapology(whichI havewritten)as Iusedtosay,“whoneedsmoney anyway?”Intruth,wealldo,andthereisnothing wrongwithaskingyourinnerbook-keeperto rear theirheadandhelpyouout.

Ifyouwanttodecluttereveryelementofyourlife, lookingatyourfinancesisoneofthemanyareas thatmayneed abitofdecluttering.

Photo:JoshAppel ~U nSplash

NEWTERM AT STUDIO ARKELL

WithSummerinfullswing,and anew termjustaroundthecorner,nowis agreattimetotakestockboth athomeandatwork,tomake thosespacesworkharder andmakelifeeasierforyou.

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‘Designisindividualanduniqueinitsappealtoeachperson, Iaimtobringtheseelementstogethertogiveeachclient somethingbeautifulandpracticalthatmeetstheirownhopes andimaginings,whateverscaleorsizetheproject’ saysHannah

Ifyouarelookingfor alocalArchitectforadvice,Studio Arkellwouldbehappytohelpwiththesmallesthousehold reconfigurationrightuptolarge &innovativecommercialor investmentplans.

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It’sanage olddisagreementathome, in thecar,orattheoffice.Whattemperature should thethermostatbesetat?Haveyou noticed that it is oftenwomenthatprefer theambient temperature to behigher comparedto men? This isnotbecause females are ‘weaker’,but rather science suggests womenreallydofeelthe cold more!

TemperatureRanges

Menhavea widertolerable rangefor comfortable room temperature of approximately14°Cto24°C. Womentend to havea narrowerwindow of comfort whichisalsopositioned at higher temperaturesbetweenapproximately 20°Cto27°C. Therefore,a compromiseto suitallforsedentarydaytime time pursuits would sitaround20 Cto24°C.

2. OestrogenLevels

Womenhavehigheroestrogenlevels. Oestrogenincreasestheviscosityofthe blood,therefore slowingthecirculationof thewarmingblood to theperipheries, especiallythefingers andtoes.

3.Cold Sensing NerveEndings

It is alsosuggestedthatwomen have more cold-sensing nerve endings intheir skin. This meansthattheydetect drops in temperaturefaster. Theskinpales as bloodisshuntedtowardthe core to prevent heat loss,which also induces shiveringtogenerateheat.

4. Sub-cutaneousFat

Despitewomen generally having athicker layer of fatunder theskin, it is thoughtthat this isinhibitory asit actually slowsthe perfusionofbloodtotheskinssurface.

It is notentirely clearwhy these differencesexist between menand women. It hasbeen proposedthat itis mostlikelyevolutionaryto encourage womentoholdontotheir body heat and directittowardthe core toprotecta growingbaby.

Address Achesand Pains

1. MuscleMass

Due to theirbigger size andhigher percentageofheatgenerating skeletal muscle mass,men arebetterequipped to fend offthe cold. However, even if you compared an identicallyproportionedman and women with thesamepercentage muscle mass,itislikelythewomen would stillfeelthe cold more for afew reasons.

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Cod Vizcaina Style

Ingredients (for 4 people):

•4 FreshCodLoins

•6 RedOnions

•6 ClovesofGarlic

•140gChorizoPepperPulp

•100gExtra VirginOliveOil

•Salt

Preparation:

Peel 6clovesofgarlicandsautéina largefryingpanwith100gofoil.Add thecod,skinsidedown,andfryfor approximately 4minutes(2minuteson eachside).Removethecodandset aside.

Inthesameoil,frytheonionuntilsoft. Addthepulpofthepeppersandcook for8-10minutes.Mashandaddthe codpiecestothesauceandcookfor afurther5-6minutes.

ServeandEnjoy.

ExperiencetheflavouroftheMediterranean,cuisinewithsoul,madewithlove,toteachandtransmit theGastronomicCultureofSpain.

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Thu 8Sept:19:00 |Tickets£12/£14

KatherineParkinson(TheITCrowd)andJohn Heffernan(Dracula)leadthecastinShakespeare’s romcomofsun,seaandmistakenidentity.

DIRTINTHEGATEMOVIESPRESENTS GRINDFEST

FRI 9–SAT 10SEPT

Individualtickets£12, 2Day Pass£46 DirtinthegateMoviesarebackforitsfourth, twodayfunlledcinematicextravaganza ofclassicgenremovies.

ERICKNOWLES:WHAT’SITWORTH? THEBIGGERPICTURE

SUN11SEPT:14:00 | Tickets£23

Awittyandentertaininglookattheworldof Antiqueswithoneofitsbestraconteurs.

GLYNDEBOURNE:LABOHEME

Sun11Sept:19:30 |Tickets£12/£14

Witha‘megawattMimì’,directorFlorisVisserdelivers a‘freshtake’ononeofthegreatestoperasofalltime.

REGENTCOMEDYCLUBWITHIVOGRAHAM

Thu15Sept:19:30 |Tickets£17

Christchurch’sbiggestcomedynightreturns withtopheadlinerIvograham, withfullsupportinglineuptobeannounced

KEEPINGBADCOMPANY

Fri16Sept:19:30 |Tickets£26

Concertbasedtheatreproductioncelebratingallthings BadCompanyandPaulRodgers.

CHRISTCHURCHGILBERT& SULLIVANSOCIETY PRESENTSTHESORCERER

Thu22 –Sat24Sept:19:30 |Tickets£17/£18

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WITHNAILAND I(1987)(15)

35MMPRESENTATION

Sun25Sept:20:00 |Tickets£9/£10

PresentedbyDirtintheGateMovies, screenedfromanoriginal35mmprint.

ROYALOPERAHOUSE:MADAMABUTTERFLY

Tue27Sept:19:15 |Tickets£13/£15

BroadcastlivefromtheRoyalOperaHouseinLondon.

ROYALSHAKESPEARECOMPANY:RICHARDIII

Wed28Sept:19:30 |Tickets£13/£15

G4LIVE

THU29SEPT:19:30 |TICKETS£28.50,VIP (WITH MEET &GREET)£69.50

TheUK’sNo.1classicalvocalquartetare backwithanotherexhilaratingtour.

THEMUSICOFNORTHERNSOULLIVE FRI30SEPT:19:30 |TICKETS£24.50/£25.50

FeaturingtheUK’spremierNorthernSoulBandThe SIGNATURESwithleadvocalistSTEFANTAYLORplus originalNorthernSoullegendLORRAINESILVER.

OCTOBER

ELOAGAIN

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ELOAGAINarebackwiththeirstunning‘Re-Discovery Tour’celebratingthetrulyuniversalmusicof JeffLynneandtheElectricLightOrchestra.

BOURNEMOUTHCONCERTBRASS: THELASTNIGHTOFTHEPROMS SUN 2OCT:19:30 |TICKETS£12

Bringyouragsandwhistles,andyourvocalchords tojoininthismostpatrioticevent.

SABADOUGLAS-HAMILTON: INTHEFOOTSTEPSOFELEPHANTS TUE 4OCT:19:30 |TICKETS£25/£28

Conservationistandelephantexpert,SabaDouglas-Hamilton,takesyouonawildandprecipitous journeythroughthetrialsandtriumphsof savingtheAfricanelephant.

ROYALBALLET -MAYERLING WED 5OCT:19:15 |TICKETS£13/£15

NT LIVE:JACKABSOLUTEFLIESAGAIN THU 6OCT:19:00 |TICKETS£14/£12

ArollickingnewcomedybyRichardBean(OneMan, TwoGuvnors)andOliverChris.

OYESANTANA:

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EBANBROWN’SSTYLISTICSSONGBOOKTOUR SAT8 OCT:19:30 |TICKETS£27

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ANEVENINGWITHMICHAELPORTILLO WED12OCT:19:00 |TICKETS£20

Listentohisstory,toldwithaparliamentarystandup wit,andthenfeelfreetoquestionhimaboutit.

TheSecretGarden

Sunshinealwaysmakesthegardencome aliveandsodopeople.AttheSecret GardeninBoscombemanygathereach weektoenjoynatureandhelpthe gardengrow.

Youngandold,throughNaturePlay, Communitymeals,schoolgroups, workshopsor regularvolunteersessions, cometogethertoconnectandbecome communitysufficient.

ProjectslikeFeedOurCommunityand TheGatherersprovidevitalsupportto localpeoplebycollectingfoodsurplus and redistributingittothoseinneed.This Septemberwillbegin apilotof aCommunity Canteen.InconjunctionwithBournemouth FoodBankandsupportedbyBCPFood Supportfunding,wewillhost 4mealsa weekforanyonewhowantstoeattogether.

Manyofourexistingcommunitywho receivesupportwillbeinvitedtocomeand get amealeachday.Wewillgatherfood fromanywherewecanfinditandgreat chefswillprepareitforus.

Thisactionhascomein responseto alack ofprovisionanddonationsoffoodcoupled with ahighcostofliving,makingit really difficultforpeopletosupport theirhouseholds.

We needtobecreativeabouthowwe sourcefood,whensurplusandfood donationsarescarceandyoucould helpbydonatingtinstoFoodbankatthe supermarketorgettingdirectlyinvolved withfoodpickups.Evenpickingfruitfrom neighboursfruittreesisasamazingsupport tolocalpeople.

LastlyournewHomeGrowersteamisnow offeringsetupofraisedbedsin residential gardens.Seehereformoredetails:

www.groundedcommunity.co.uk/ groundedgrowers

Getintouchifyouwanttogrowyourown orconnectwithourcharityworkand StayGrounded!

-GroundedCommunity ProjectsCoordinator

BIRD WATCHING

By ValerieKelly

What asummerthatwas!Our resident PeregrineFalconsbredsuccessfully producingthreehealthychicks whoweregiven adailyaudience bybirdloversandpeoplepassing by.CHOG(ChristchurchHarbour OrnithologyGroup)hostedanevent atChristchurchPriorygivinglocals achancetoviewthechicksthrough telescopesandansweranyquestions aboutthefalcons.Thiswasincredibly successfulandpeopleweresothrilled toseecloseupsofthechicks,that manydecidedtojoinCHOG www.chog.org.uk.ByJoining CHOG youwillbesupporting avarietyof conservationprojectsincluding:

•PlacementofbuoysaroundStanpit Bight –toshowwatercraftusersthe boundaryofwhereitispermittedto usewatercraftintheHarbour.

•Viewingplatformandinterpretation signageonWick –providinga screenedviewpointovertheWick Hams reedbed,withrampedaccess.

•Threephasesofpoolandditch restorationonPrioryMarsh –to improvetheattractivenessofthe marshtobirdsandotherwildlife.

•CreationofpoolsonCentralMarsh andbythe VisitorCentreatStanpit, plus ascrapeonCentralMarsh –to broadenthediversityofhabitatonthe marshandattract awiderrangeof birdandotherwildlifespecies.

•Fencedareaatthenorthernend oftheSandspit –offeringanareaof minimaldisturbanceinthehopeof attractingbreedingOystercatcher, andtoactas awader refugeathigh tides.

•Design,productionandmanufacture ofsignage –tobetterinformand educatevisitorstotheHarbourofits wildlifeandotherheritage,allowing themtoappreciatethe reasonsfor access restrictionsandencouraging compliancewithnotices.Thelasttwo

FoxandBitternbyPaul Turton

BitternbyLindaSmith

signsinthisprojectwereputinplace on8thJune2022.Aspartofthis project,CHOGdevelopedguidance forusersofwatercraftintheHarbour. Youcanfindthisguidance,alongwith informationaboutbirdsthatdepend ontheHarbour,onourdedicated websitepagehere.

•ThegraphicfortheHarboursigns

Yoursubscriptionalsoincludes afree copyoftheannualbirdreport,The BirdsofChristchurchHarbour,which isover120pagesandcontainsmany colourphotographs.

CHOGisnotjustaboutthebirds, althoughsomemayneedconvincing aboutthatcomment.

InearlyJuly averyluckybirderspotted aBittern,anincrediblesight,who

showedhimselfproudlywandering aroundonthewesternsideoftheriver atStanpit.Manyanhourhasbeenspent searchingfortheBitternatBlashford Lakes,oftenwithnoluckbecausethey aresowellcamouflaged.Itcanbe lookingatyou,butunlikelyyouwillseeit unlessthebitternmoves.

AlsoseenaroundStanpit, aCommon Sandpiper,aWhimbreland aBlacktailedGodwit;aswellas 5WaterRail, oneofthem ajuvenile.

BitternbyLindaSmith

LOCALHISTORY

Sir Thomas Wriothesley (1505-50)

Having resumed my trustylocalhistorylast time,Steve’s postbag waslightoncemore.I don’t anticipate anuptickas ItackleSir Thomas Wriothesley,1stEarlofSouthampton(1505-50), who wasaboutas Tudorasthey comebutalso hadsurprising connections to Christchurch. An ambitiousstatesman,he wasthesonof William Wriothesley(the York Herald by allaccounts) andheld variousofficesunderHenryVIII’s Chief Minister,Thomas Cromwell.The twomen collaboratedontheDissolutionofthe Monasteries, whichsawChristchurch Prioryclosedin1539. Given Cromwell’s penchantforplottingand conniving,it’sunsurprisingthatWriothesley was also anasty, ruthlesspieceofworkwhosesofter side wasakintothatofapeckishprayingmantis.

Ambassador to theNetherlandsin1538, Wriothesleymanaged to avoidsharingin Cromwell’s fall(executedin1540) by turning evidenceagainsthis formerboss(told youhe wasruthless).He’d alsosavedhisneck by having spokenoutagainstHenry’sfourthmarriage to AnneofCleves.This wasthelassthe Kingmarried onthebasisof apainting by HansHolbeinthe Youngeronly to findher to hisdistastewhenhe

metherintheflesh,likeningher to a‘Flanders Mare’and letting ripinhis aversion.Giventhat Anne wasa consortofCromwell’s choosingit was inevitablehe wouldfinish aheadshorter.

Havingbackedthe righthorse(seewhatI did there?) Wriothesley wasinfavour,andhaving orchestrated adefensivealliancewithSpain was bumpedup to abaron. As Lord Chancellor(154447),ourman Wriothesleyearnedanunenviable reputation forcruelty, participatingpersonally in torturingreligious reformers,includingthe preacher/poet/writer Anne Askewwho it’s believed Wriothesley racked(told youhewasnasty). WhenHenryVIIIdiedinJanuary1547 Wriothesley continued to prosper,beingmadeanearlon theaccessionofHenry’sson, Edward VI. It wasn’t longbeforehegothis comeuppanceforpast misdemeanoursashe wasdeprivedoftheGreat Seal for‘derelictionofduty’.

Acareerlawyer/administrator Wriothesley wasan atypicalchoicefor ConstableofChristchurch Castle havingnomilitarybackground.Benefitingfrom theDissolutionhe’d pushedhebecameoneof Hampshire’slargestlandownerswithmoremanors than youcouldshakethe averageaxeat(he was bothBaron TitchfieldandEarlofSouthampton).He benefitedfromtheclosureofChristchurch Priory andthe executionofMargaret Pole,Countess of Salisbury, receivinglandsfrombothsources as well asbeing givena21-yearleaseofthe RoyaltyFishery, thestewardshipofChristchurch and Ringwoodmanors,andbecomingbailiffof ChristchurchHundred,andkeeperof Stourfield Chase.Hewasalso grantedthemanorofHurnplus theformer Priory’stithesinChristchurch, Hinton, Milton, Sopleyand Ripley.On12thJuly1545

Wriothesley wasgrantedthesiteofChristchurch Priory, exceptingthe Priorychurchwhichhad been grantedtothe townsfolk.Well,bigshothe mayhavebeenlocallybut Wriothesley wasstilla ruthless,nastypieceofwork

By StephenRoberts www.steveroberts.org.uk Twitter:@SRChristchurch

HansHolbeinthe Younger,source

Caribbean -Barbados

Barbadosis atruetropicalisland paradise.Thinkstunningblonde beacheslappedbyturquoisewaters oftheCaribbeanSea,year-round sunshineandrumpunch!However, Barbados’appealisfarwiderthanthis withitscolonialheritageandrugged scenery.Awinningcombinationofthe exoticandthefamiliar.

Knownasthe‘PearloftheCaribbean’, Barbadosis adeservedlyworldfamousdestination. Agorgeoustropical paradisecontainingthepopularcruise portofBridgetown,theislanditselfis actuallyanenormouscoral reefthat wasformedover amillionyearsago. Thisuniquegeography resultsina breathtakingcoastline,andsomeof thebestsnorkelling,surfinganddiving actionintheworld!

Thewesternhalfofthepear-shaped island,often referredtoasthePlatinum Coast,isdominatedbydeluxebeach resortswithgreatfacilities.Thecentral

highlandsareaoftheislandishome tosomeinterestingculturalsights (includingdistilleriesandplantations), picturesquevillagesandsomeamazing walkingandhikingtrails.Theeastern halfoftheisland,whichgivesway totheAtlanticOcean,iscommonly referredtoasthe‘SoupBowl’because ofitsbigwavesandfoamingsurf; thisistheplacetobeforsurfersand backpackers,hometoanassortment oflow-costaccommodationandlively beach-sidebars.Called‘LittleEngland’ bysome,Barbados’strongtieswith Englishcultureovertheyearshave bequeathedit agenialatmosphereand goodinfrastructure.Thesunshines340 daysoftheyearinBarbados,andthe famouslyfriendlylocalsonlyserveto increasetheisland’sgloriousambiance. Barbadosisoneofthemostpopular wintersunvacationdestinationsinthe worldfornorthernhemispheretourists andisanobligatorystoponany Caribbeancruiseadventure.

Interestingfact!Measuringjust21miles longand14mileswide,itispossibleto drivearoundthetinyislandofBarbados inaroundthreehours.

Awayfromthebeach,visitBridgetown. Bridgetownispackedwithsomany historicsitesthatyoucaneasilyspend adayworkingthroughthemall.There’s theGarrisonSavannah-Barbados’ homeofhorseracingsince1845-the MatthiasChurch,theruinsofstAnn’s FortandGeorge WashingtonHousetheone-timehomeoftheformerUS President.RidetheBajanBus,you’ve neverexperienced abustourquitelike this.Thisisarguablytheperfectway toseethebestofBarbados,stopping bythemostbeautifulofbeachesora varietyoflocalrumshops.ManyBajan

busescomeequippedwithbooming soundsystemsandguideswhowilltry togetyoutolaughalltheway.

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MIGUEL’S HANDCART

ShortStory by Paul BJackson

Miguel,withhiswifeand children,livedontheedgeofa smallvillagein asimplehome builtbyhisfatherandhisfather beforehim,living atoughbut contentedlifeworkingtheland, growingcropsandraisinggoats. Miguelwas agoodcarpenter too,usingtheskillshanded downtohim,andwashappyto helpwithjobsforhisneighbours.

“Hey,Miguel,canyou repair mydoorforme?”AndMiguel withhis readysmileand generousheartwouldpasshis fingersthroughhisthick,black

hairandanswer,“Yes,Nenet, butwhatwillyoutrade?”And abargainwouldbestruckand Nenetwouldhaveherdoorand Miguelwouldcomeawaywith someonionsforhiswifetoadd totheireveningmeal.Hewould prefercarrots,butoldNenetonly everseemedtohaveonions.

Affonso,wholivedacrossthe way,wouldgivehimcabbage.

Themostpreciouscommodity inthevillagewasfreshwater. Sincethewater-holedriedupthe villagershadtotrektoanother sourceinthehills, aroundtripon

Photo: FedericaGiusti~UnSplash

uneventrackofsometwomiles.

Everydaysaw aprocession ofvillagerscarryingpotsand basinstothewater-holeand then,fullyladen,makingtheir weary return.

Miguelgavethemattersome quietthoughtandoneevening, whenthechoresweredoneand thechildrenwereinbed,helit thelamp,tookdownhistools andworkedlateintothenight making awoodenhand-cart withthickhandlesand alarge, strongwheel.Byearlymorning Miguel’shand-cartwasfinished. Hecouldnowputnearlyallhis potsintohiscartanditwould fetchfourtimestheamount ofwaterhecouldcarryonhis shoulder,withlesseffortand withlessspillagealongtheway. Miguelstoodandlookedathis effortsandchuckled.Miguel’s hand-cartwas agreat success.

AfewdayslaterMiguel’s neighbourambledovertosee him.“Miguel,”shesaid,“that is afinecart.Itcarriessomuch water.I findthetrektothehills soverytiring.If Iputmypotin yourcartcouldyoubringsome waterbackforme?”

Miguelshuffledhisfeetinthe dustandthen replied,“Why,yes, Nenet.Butwhatwillyoutrade?”

“Ahyes,”shesaid,“in return youwillwantsomethingof real valueandworthyofyoureffort.”

“Idon’twantanymore onions.”

“Imustgiveitsomethought,” saidhisneighbour,andshe wanderedaway.

OldNenet returnedanhour later.“Miguel,”shesaid,“Each timeyoubringmemypotof freshwater Iwill,in return, giveyouthemostvaluable thing Icanpartwith.”There was amoment’ssilence.She took adeepbreathandstood upstraight.“Halfofmyfresh water,”sheannounced,“willI givetoyou.”

Miguelsteppedbackandran hisfingersthroughhisthick, blackhair.Helookedhardathis neighbourfor alongmoment.

“Ifyoutakemybiggerpot,” stammeredNenetquickly, “there’llbeevenmoreforyou.”

Miguel’stannedfacelitup in awarmgrin,hewinkedand said,“OK,Nenet,youhave yourself atrade.”Miguelslotted hisneighbour’spotnexttothe othersinhiscart,liftedthetwo woodenhandlesandtrundledoff towardsthehills.

©Paul BJackson,2022

Photo: Matheus

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HAPPINESSDEPENDSONOURSELVES

ByDrArmorelWood

Aself-defeatingbehaviour(SDB)isany behaviourorattitudethatstandsintheway of aperson reachingtheirfullpotentialin ahealthymanner.Wealltendtoperform someofthesebehavioursi.e.,perfectionism, procrastinationetcandsomewilladversely affectusmorethanothers,I.e.,eating disorders,addictionsandself-harm.

Ourmindcollectsandidentifiesinformation fromexternalandinternalsourcesinorder todecidewhatactionthatis required.The goalistokeepusalive,happyand relatively tensionandriskfree,theconsciousmind willthendelegatetheseactionstothe subconsciousinordertofreeupconscious spaceforthinking.Thesubconscious storesthingsthathavebeenpreviously experiencedandlearnedandthesedevelop asunconscioushabits. We oftenlearn thesebehavioursinchildhoodfromparents, teachersorpeers(Externalsources)whenwe aretooyoungtoquestiontheiractions,by thetimewedo,it’stoolateandthedamage isdone!Thebehaviourthenbecomesso deep rootedthatitappearstoustobean inherentpartofourpersonalityandwefeel thatitissomethingthatcan’tbechangedor if it was,itwouldbefartooscarytodoso. Thesebehavioursoftenstartat atimewhen wearefeeling vulnerableandunderthreat. Atthebeginningitmayserve apurposeto relieveanxietyandmodulateemotion.This behaviourandits resultantemotionisthen storedinthesubconsciousandbecomes ahabit.Initiallyitmaybesuccessfulin achievingourgoalbutwithtimeitbecomes

generalisedtoothersituationswhereit isnolongereffective.Withtheyears,the behaviouroftenthenbecomes aproblem initsownrightandbecomes aself-fulfilling prophecyandproducesjustthatwhichone isattemptingtoavoid.

Having reactedthatwayforyears,admitting oneneedstochangeourbehaviourcan beverydifficult.Thesebehavioursare maintainedbyirrationalbeliefs,fearof changeandlackofbeliefthatonecan change. We minimisethecostsofthese behavioursandmakeexcusesforwhywe dothem,thus removingthepossibilityof changingtohealthieractions. We continue themforfearofwhatmighthappenifwe don’t. We fearchangingthembecause ofthefearoffailureoreventhefearof successwhichcanbeseenasanelongated pathtofailure.Metaphoricallyspeakingif yougettothetopofthehillthereisonly onewaytogo…..down! We alsodisown responsibilityforourbehaviourandputthe blameonothersforhowwe react. Change will onlyoccurifthecostorperceivedcost ofcontinuingthebehaviourisgreaterthan notcontinuingit.Whatever,whereverthese behaviourscomefrommustbefacedand released,inorderforsuccesstobeachieved andsustained.Therapycanhelponetravel tothepointoftaking responsibilityforone’s attitudesandactionsandembracethe powertoperformhealthierbehavioursin placeoftheself-defeatingones.Thework thattheclientdoeshoweverisparamountto success.Therapyisn’tacure,inandofitself. It’snotsomethingsomeonedoestous,orfor us,itactuallyjustprovidesanarenawhere healingcantakeplace.

DrArmorel WoodMBACP AccredMNCS PrivateCounsellor

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BookReview

TheInkBlackHeartbyRobertGalbraith, hardback£25(ourprice£20)

ThesixthbookintheCormoranStrikeseriesisduetobepublishedon 30thAugust,andwecannotwaitatBH6Books!EdieLedwell,cocreatorofpopularcartoonTheInkBlackHeart,isbeingpersecuted by amysteriousonlinefigurewhogoesbythepseudonymofAnomie. EdieisdesperatetouncoverAnomie’strueidentity,andasRobinand herbusinesspartnerCormoranStrikebecomedrawnintothequest,a complexwebofonlinealiases,businessinterestsandfamilyconflicts beginstoemerge.StrikeandRobinfindthemselvesembroiledina casethatstretchestheirpowersofdeductiontothelimitsandwhich threatenstheminnewandhorrifyingways.Ifyouarenewtotheseries, wealwaysstockthepaperbackeditionsofthefirstfivebooksinthe seriesandthoroughly recommendthem.

SmallIsland:12MapsThatExplaintheHistoryofBritain byPhilipParker,hardback£25(ourprice£20)

Canthegreatestquestionsofourfuturebeansweredbyjusttwelve crucialmomentsinBritain’shistory?Itwasn’tlong-agothatBritons couldhavebeenasathomein Varanasiastheycouldhavebeenin Wolverhampton,withlargepartsofBritainscatteredacrosstheglobe. OurBritishbordersandidentityhavealwaysbeenonthemove,andby knowingmoreaboutthesetwelvepivotalmomentsthatoccurredovera 2,000-yearperiod,wecannotonlygain afullsenseofourBritishhistory, butwecanalsotrytounderstandwhereweare heading.Intwelve definingmaps,youwilllearnhowBritaincametobethesuperpoweritis todayandbyusingthepastas aguidewecanattempttoforeseewhat iscominginourfuture.

Loki: ABadGod’sGuideto TakingtheBlame byLouieStowell,paperback£6.99(For7-10years)

Aneagerly-awaitedfollowuptoLoki: ABadGod’sGuidetoBeing Good,seesOdingivingLokianotherchancetoprovehimselfworthy ofAsgard.Butearningeveryone’strustistricky,and when Thor’s hammergoesmissing,everyoneblamesLoki. To clearhisnamehe mustfirstfindThor’sbelovedhammer;second,uncoverthe realthief; andthird,forceeveryonetoadmittheywerewrong!! Aneasyfeatfor someoneashandsomeandcleverasLoki....

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GETAGENT.co.uk review, BH5