Health Building resilience

The word ‘resilience’ can be a loaded word. It is often misused to mean toughen up or put on a brave face. This harmful attitude of ‘man up and get over it’ needs to be redefined. When we talk about building resilience in children, it’s not about preparing them for a harsh world. Rather, it’s reminding them that life isn’t perfect, it’s messy and hard and we are perfectly imperfect. However, we also have the ability to learn skills and develop a different mindset that builds our capacity to cope with whatever life throws at us. When I think about the lessons on resilience and mental fitness that I want to impart to our children, I think of:

• Accepting imperfection: We are not designed to be perfect and that’s okay. Vulnerability can be a source of strength, and owning our flaws and mistakes takes courage.

• Be yourself, and that is enough: Whether loud or quiet, assertive or subdued, introvert or extrovert, or a little of each, you get to choose what’s right for you at any given moment.

• Coping with life’s challenges: Life can be overwhelming and messy, and it’s normal to feel frustrated and upset sometimes. All emotions are valid, and we can learn to sit with and process them, express our feelings and navigate challenging emotions such as sadness, grief and anger.

• Mistakes are part of growth: Making mistakes is a natural part of learning, and we don’t need to get it right the first time. Our minds are hardwired to focus on the negative and critical, but we can

In brief

Grants invitation

rewire our brains by practicing gratitude and building a positive mindset. Often our biggest mistakes or mess-ups are the best opportunities for learning and growth.

• Practising self-care: Taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish. We are our child’s greatest role models. Parents need to model what self-care looks like in action. It’s not just about massages and bubble baths. Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries, having difficult conversations or prioritising rest over the to-do list.

• Developing competence and autonomy: Children are capable of more than we often realise, and developing their confidence requires us to step back and give them opportunities. This can be done by offering age-appropriate challenges such as making a cup of tea, climbing a tree or helping in the kitchen, without pushing them beyond their capabilities.

• Feeling a sense of belonging and love: Knowing that we belong and are loved can help us feel supported and connected. This can come from extended family, friendship groups or team sports where children learn that they have a support crew and that they are surrounded by those who love them. Ultimately, building resilience is about developing skills and coping strategies that help us navigate life’s challenges. It’s not about achieving a state of constant happiness or peace, but rather about building the capacity to handle difficult moments and appreciate the good ones.

Community organisations in Kaipara are invited to apply for a community grant. The grants are intended to support events, services or activities that benefit the community, as well as operational costs or capital costs. Previous recipients have covered a range of interests from sports, libraries, halls and heritage to performance, arts and environment. Grants range from a few hundred dollars to several thousand. Applications close on Monday, May 1 at 4.30pm. Application forms can be accessed on the Kaipara District Council website. Info: grants@kaipara.govt.nz

Point Wells security

There will be an update on security cameras in Point Wells when the Point Wells Community and Ratepayers Association holds its annual meeting at the Point Wells Hall on Sunday, April 30. Other items on the agenda include pest control, harbour safety and environmental topics, hall renovations, traffic calming and civil defence. The meeting starts at 4pm. All welcome.