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Enjoy the "Day's" of Our Lives Jeff Corey & his wife, Kathy at Sugarloaf
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• Falling in Love or Just Falling for it? • Maine's Winter Stage • Life's Book ...and more!
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PUBLISHER
David. S. Nealley
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Ellen L. Spooner
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Ian J. Marquis
EDITORS
Catherine N. Zub Lois N. Nealley Mark D. Roth Clyde Tarr
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS
Ian J. Marquis Victor Oboyski
David and Bridget O'Donnell Photo by Jeff Kirlin
SALES & DISTRIBUTION
Christine Parker George Holton Melissa Howard Jim Gorham A. Peter Legendre Roseanne Bolduc Dale Overlock Fred Connell Deborah Batting Victor Oboyski
WRITERS
Paulette Oboyski Cathy Lickteig Makofski Dr. Len Kaye Cathy Genthner Jane Margesson LC Van Savage Fia Marquis Hunter Howe Christine E. Fisher Ellen Spooner Paul Butlet
SOCIAL MEDIA
Shane Wilson
BUSINESS OFFICE
87 Hillside Avenue, Bangor, Maine 04401 Phone: (207) 299-5358
Maine Seniors Magazine is published in the State of Maine by Maine Seniors Magazine, L.L.C. in association with Maine Media Consulting, L.L.C. All information herein represents the views of individual writers and their understanding of the issues at hand, and may not represent the views of the Maine Seniors Magazine, its management, or editorial staff. For more information about Maine Seniors Magazine, visit www.meseniors.com.
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1 • MAINE SENIORS
At Maine Seniors Magazine we believe that Maine’s greatest natural resource is SENIOR POWER!
W
e will be expanding on this theme throughout the year in a wide variety of ways. In addition to sharing information about the continued value of the 50 plus age group to Maine’s economy and communities, we will be sharing more stories about individual seniors who are improving our quality of life and who are truly inspirational. We call these people “Prime Movers”.
In this issue we have a man with the right “chemistry”. Cary James, is a teacher in his mid-sixties, who is developing award winning students. Cary continues to prove the value of seniors as mentors, in working with our youth and ensuring a better tomorrow. Truly a Prime Mover! Enjoy the story of Rachel Rubeor who has helped to preserve an important Coastal Seafaring Heritage with Lubec Landmarks, and as a town select person, volunteer, and more! She embodies the very essence of a senior creating a better sense of community. Maybe, I am “old fashioned” in that I greatly appreciate the small independent family businesses that become successful icons. Our first story in this issue about Jeff Corey and his family business Day’s Jewelers, proves that strong values with quality service and products are truly a gem. Speaking of gems, the most precious gem of all is love. The staff at Maine Seniors Magazine wishes everyone the joy of love for this Valentine’s Day and every day of the year. Sincerely, —David S. Nealley, Publisher
Publisher's Note
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MAINE SENIORS • Contributors
Brad Eden
Paulette Oboyski
Dr. Lenard W. Kaye
Ellen L. Spooner
Fia Marquis
Ian J. Marquis
HUNTER HOWE Hunter’s Maine roots run deep. He has written
Rev. Dr. Cathy Genthner
Jane Margesson
Christine E. Fisher
LC Van Savage
Hunter Howe
Paul Butler
for the Cape Courier and penned a column called Senior Moments for the Senior News, a publication of the Southern Maine Agency on Aging.
REV. DR. CATHY GENTHNER Cathy is a freelance writer and registered Maine Guide who lives in Gorham. An ordained minister and Doctor of Ministry, she has been a journalist for over 30 years.
DR. LENARD W. KAYE Dr. Kaye is the Director and Professor
LC VAN SAVAGE Elsie (aka LC) Van Savage hosted three
for the Center on Aging at the University of Maine. He has been in the forefront of promoting and planning elder issues at the state level.
IAN J. MARQUIS Ian is an artist, designer, writer, musician, and creative director. Born and raised in the state of Maine, he lives in Portland with his wife, Fia, and their daughter, Lyric. His latest album of music, Legacy Drivers, is available on iTunes and at www.ianmarquismusic.com. FIA MARQUIS Fia is a food writer, recipe creator, and member of the Maine food scene. A Maine native and mother of one, she lives in Portland with her husband—Maine Seniors Magazine Creative Director Ian Marquis.
BRAD EDEN Brad Eden is an artist, writer, and registered Maine Master Guide. He has lived in Maine for three decades, and is an avid outdoorsman and sportsman.
JANE MARGESSON Jane Margesson has worked for AARP for over 20 years in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and now Maine. Jane appears frequently on Maine’s television and radio news programs and is a public speaker on scam and fraud prevention. PAULETTE OBOYSKI Paulette retired early at 45 to a farm in Washington, Maine, and edited ten fundraising cookbooks for non profits in town and cocompiled the book, Washington, Maine People and Places, for the town’s bicentennial. She now lives in Brunswick with her husband. 3 • MAINE SENIORS
radio and two local TV shows. LC has written three books and currently writes for The Coastal Journal and has an on-line column with the New Maine Times called LC’s Take. She loves to paint at her home in mid-coast Maine.
ELLEN L. SPOONER Ellen Spooner is a retired speech- language pathologist who lives in Brewer. Her hobbies include reading, knitting, cooking, sporting events, and traveling to the coast where she enjoys visiting lighthouses. CHRISTINE E. FISHER Following her service as a Navy Journalist in Greece and at Pacific Stars and Stripes in Tokyo, Christine had two full careers, first as a publishing production manager for John Wiley & Sons periodicals in NYC and then as a Psychotherapist working primarily in correctional settings with substance abuse. She has long been involved with cat rescue and feral cat colonies and TNR. PAUL BUTLER Paul Butler has been principal of Bangor High School since 2011 and previously served as an elementary principal and a middle school English teacher in Bangor schools. Paul is a native and lifelong resident of Bangor, where he continues to live with his wife Angela and their three children Mary, Katie and Tommy.
Contributors • MAINE
SENIORS
New Year's Resolutions
Our Contributors weigh in on their goals for 2017
Like many women, I enter each new
Take up one new activity and ex-
To keep serenity in my life, despite
year with one eye on the scale, and the other on my to-do list. However, my perspective shifted deeply with the loss of my younger brother last March. Wading through the depths of my grief these many months helped me to realize many things, including that grief is simply love being expressed differently in the absence of our loved one. I have also been deeply humbled to realize that, should I die, there will be people who will mourn me to those same depths of sorrow, and thus love me very deeply here and now. My resolution for 2017, and every year going forward, is to be more loving and compassionate toward others, but also toward myself, and to learn to savor all the love and every allowable pleasure that comes my way. Life, after all, is short. —Sheila Grant
pand your universe. —Kitty Wheeler
the increasingly crazy world we live in. To continue to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. To savor the many blessings of being lucky enough to live in the state of Maine. And to remember always: we’re not just getting older; we’re also getting better! —Avery Hunt
I wish to make a continued, conscious effort to offer my time and talents for the benefit of others. —Chloe JonPaul
Borrowing one from Seneca: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." That is, it's new year, there's an ending but a new beginning to hold on to. —Hunter Howe
Every day during the New Year I resolve to read and contemplate at least one quote by the poet Rumi, starting with this one: "Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." —Cathy Makofski
Eat less, walk more. Less TV, more piano. Less couch potato, more Tai Chi. Less politics, more gardening. Less talk, more writing. —Paulette Oboyski
1) To write more because writing
I am resolved to live more in the present and in the moment. That means being genuinely mindful of the here and now, not dwelling on what the future may bring or regretting what has occurred in the past. To achieve this will mean I need to forgive past hurts, let prior failures and accomplishments go, smile more, and worry less. —Len Kaye
helps me figure out myself and the world I live in. Publication of “Ben’s Story” is slightly delayed, but will happen soon, and I want to finish writing a book I started many years ago about my British family during World War II.
To live every day in the present and
2) To practice playing the guitar more and more often now that I have the best guitar teacher in Maine to guide and goad me.
During 2017, I resolve to tone down
3) To do something useful for my community. I’m delighted that I’ve just been asked to join a committee in Camden that will give me that opportunity. —Barbara Kent Lawrence
realize that aging isn’t a burden, but a privilege. —Cathy Genthner
my "Type A" personality and become more of a “Git-‘R-Done” type, and to let my editorial team know how much they are appreciated for the work they do, sometimes under tight time constraints. —Ellen Spooner
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Page 7
WINTER 2017 ISSUE 1 Publisher's Note
BY DAVID S. NEALLEY
3 Contributors 7 Prime Mover: Jeff Corey
BY ELLEN L. SPOONER
17 Prime Mover: Rachel Rubeor
BY CHRISTINE E. FISHER
Page 17
25 Prime Mover: Cary James
BY PAUL BUTLER
33 Prime Mover: Denis Ledoux
BY PAULETTE OBOYSKI
39 Sage Lens: What will you do for your
Encore Career? • BY DR. LEN KAYE
43 Just Pondering: In a Blink
BY WALDO CLARK
45 Bridging Generations: Winter Cabin Fever
Page 65
BY JOAN CLARK
47 Special: Maine Association of Retirees
GUEST ARTICLE
53 The MAINE Point: Falling in Love or Just
Falling for it? • BY JANE MARGESSON
55 Special: Wives and Lovers
BY LC VAN SAVAGE
57 Here, There & Everywhere: Zagreb
BY CATHY LICKTEIG MAFOSKI
65 Special: Love is Lovelier After 50
Page 57
BY CATHY GENTHNER
71 A Trail Less Traveled: Maine's Winter Stage
BY BRAD EDEN
73 Food for Thought: Cold Weather Classics
BY FIA MARQUIS
77 From the Porch: Life's Book
BY HUNTER HOWE Page 71
WINTER 2017 • 6
PRIME MOVER • Jeff Corey
7 • MAINE SENIORS
Jeff Corey • PRIME MOVER
JEFF
Corey
“I’ve always loved the jewelry industry. I’m passionate about it. The most fun is interacting with people and getting to be part of special occasions in their lives—an engagement, anniversary, or the birth of a child. Jewelry is a lasting memento of those occasions.” —Jeff Corey
W
hen Jeff Corey was born in February of 1953, no one could have predicted that he would achieve the degree of success he has as a business owner, family man, and member of a community. In retrospect, however, one can see how he evolved to become the powerful force he is today.
BY ELLEN L. SPOONER Jeff’s success didn’t just happen. It is the result of many fortuitous influences and experiences that determined the path he would take. The story began in the early 1900s, years before Jeff was born, when an 11-year-old lad from a poor Portland family went in search of a job because he needed money to buy school clothes. He was hired as a stock boy at a local jewelry store. The young boy was Jeff’s father, Robert Corey; the jewelry store was Day’s. According to Jeff, the owners of Day’s Jewelry preferred to hire young men because they hadn’t developed any bad habits and could be trained “the Day’s way”. But when the United States entered World War II, all of theses young employees were either drafted or enlisted, including Robert Corey. When they returned
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PRIME MOVER • Jeff Corey
to Maine at the end of the War, Day’s was required by law to rehire them. Not having positions available, one of the Davidson brothers, Sidney, traveled throughout Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont buying existing buildings. He would then send the group of 18 or so returnees to renovate and stock the buildings and a new Day’s location was born. One of the young men was left to run each new store. Robert Carey, the youngest of them, was sent to manage the store in Caribou. It also was there that he met and married Enid Sleeper, daughter of a local merchant and younger sister of Mitch Sleeper who would come to be recognized and admired as a successful businessman throughout Maine, particularly in the Bangor area. On the surface, young Bob Corey, who had started as a stock boy at age 11, appeared to have arrived. In fact, in a recent conversation with Jeff, Bob Corey told his son, “I had a job. Day’s provided me with a car, and I had money in my pocket for the first time in my life. I felt like the King of the World!” Enid, on the other hand, was not as content with the situation as her husband was, and “badgered” him continuously to open his own store. Ultimately, Enid was
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Jeff says, “Dad was a magical person, He always found a way to communicate with people.” This was evident when the store opened in Madawaska where most people spoke French, but
neither Bob nor Enid knew the language.
victorious and in 1955, the Coreys opened Robert’s Jewelry in Madawaska, Maine. They had chosen Madawaska since the probability of competition with Day’s was unlikely because of the distance between the two stores. Once settled in Madawaska, Bob Corey instituted some unique ways to make Robert’s Jewelry stand out and attract customers from among the residents in this small potato farming and papermaking community. Finding that the town “took in the sidewalks”, so to speak, and turned dark at 5 o’clock each evening, Bob Corey kept
Where it all started…. Enid and Bob Corey on their wedding day in 1950.
Jeff Corey • PRIME MOVER
In 1996, the seven Corey children joined their Mom and Dad to help in their retirement sale at Robert’s Jewelry in Madawaska. (l to r Anne Corey Cyr, James Corey, Robert Corey Jr., Jayne Corey Johnston, Jean Corey Foster, Jolene Cleland Corey, Jeff Corey, Robert Corey, Enid Corey) Jeff and his wife Kathy at Sugarloaf
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in Caribou. He would be followed by four sisters and two brothers; Jolene, Jean, Jayne, Bob, Jim and Anne. The siblings were raised in this small town and at one time all seven worked in the family store learning and becoming ingrained in the jewelry business.
the jewelry store lights ablaze for all the residents to see. He was also known to occasionally advertise an item at “$99. or 20 barrels of potatoes”. Jeff says, “Dad was a magical person, He always found a way to communicate with people.” This was evident when the store opened in Madawaska where most people spoke French, but neither Bob nor Enid knew the language. Attempting to resolve this issue, Jeff’s father hired a French-speaking young woman. Nevertheless, Jeff recalls, “Customers would stand in long lines until Dad was free to wait on them.” Jeff Corey, the first-born son of Robert and Enid Corey, was born
Jeff’s “internship” under his father’s watchful eye began earlier than might be expected. It seems that he was quite an active young lad around the house, so his mother strongly“suggested” that Jeff go to work with his father. Robert did take Jeff to the store, and from that time on, this chronicle truly becomes Jeff’s life story. The first skill young Jeff learned was how to hand engrave, but that was only the beginning of the invaluable lessons he learned from his parents. According to Jeff, the most important were: 1. Every person who walks through the door is the most important; “treat them all like kings”. This is one of the objectives at Day’s. Whether you go in to the store to purchase an expensive piece of jewelry or to have a battery replaced in a watch you bought somewhere else, you can expect to be treated the same way. WINTER 2017 • 1 0
PRIME MOVER • Jeff Corey 2. Pay attention to the tiny details. It’s not the big things that count, it’s the 100 small things you do that combine to make you great.” 3. “Trust people.” The original Day’s had created a business based on credit and Bob Corey did, too. Even today, Day’s remains one of the few companies left in America that manages its own credit. And when customers run into difficulty paying on their accounts, Jeff says,“If you help these customers through tough times, work with them, they will remain customers.”
Jeff Corey, Kathy Corey, and David Davidson (founder of Day’s) when the Corey’s purchased Day’s Jewelers in 1988.
Following his graduation from high school in Madawaska, Jeff attended and was graduated from Husson College in Bangor. He then returned to Madawaska to work in his parents’ store.
Day’s Jewelers owners, Jim Corey, Kathy Corey and Jeff Corey
11 • MAINE SENIORS
Jeff Corey • PRIME MOVER
Day’s team with Philippe Mellier – Corey family members with Philippe Mellier, CEO of DeBeers, the world’s largest diamond supplier. Day’s was selected as DeBeers exclusive representative in Maine and New Hampshire
In 1981, Jeff married Kathy Martin a capable young nurse who had worked at Northern Maine Medical Center for a short time before becoming Director of Nursing at Forest Hill Manor—the youngest Director of Nursing in the State of Maine. Following the births of their first two children, daughters Emily and Erin—son Joe would follow later, Kathy became a stay-at-home mom for a while, but soon found that she had to do more and went to work at Robert’s Jewelry along with Jeff. By 1984, Jeff and Kathy had decided to strike out on their own and open Jeffery’s Fine Jewelers in Waterville. Leaving Kathy in Madawaska with the two girls to close up their apartment, Jeff headed for Waterville to prepare the building that would house the new store. He unabashedly describes driving the whole distance with tears in his eyes in anticipation of the risk he was taking. Once there, Jeff proceeded to clean up the building by painting it completely white—walls, ceiling, everything was white! He laughs when he relates the story, especially when he says,“It was really ugly.” So, he bought some brown paint and created a border, stocked the store, and Jeffrey’s Fine Jewelers, “the ugliest jewelry store ever”,
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PRIME MOVER • Jeff Corey
opened for business. After only four years, Jeffrey’s was rated as #1 in sales for jewelry stores in the State of Maine.
recognition from local as well as national organizations based on its success.
By the late 80s, Day’s owners, the Davidson brothers, were well into their senior years and had decided to retire. Jeff received a call from David Davidson who told him that they had tried to sell the company as a whole but had not found a buyer, so they had begun to sell individual stores. At their peak, the Davidson’s had owned 22 stores. When Jeff received this call, the only remaining Day’s was in Westbrook. Davidson was optimistic that if Jeff were to buy the company, it would continue to be operated “the Day’s way”. Jeff jumped at the chance and, as they say, the rest is history.
Jeff’s and Kathy’s contributions in other areas have included serving on numerous professional committees and boards, involvement in community organizations, and raising funds for a variety of local, national and world-wide causes. Their hard work has not gone unnoticed as they are the recipients of many honors and awards.
Since Jeff, Kathy, and Jim Corey acquired Day’s in 1988, the company has expanded considerably. In addition to stores in Auburn, Bangor, Topsham, South Portland, Waterville, and Manchester, New Hampshire, the recent opening of the newest store in Augusta brings the total number of Day’s Jewelers owned by the Corey family to seven as well as an active e-commerce website, www.daysjewelers.com. Day’s has received
To say that the jewelry business runs through the veins of the seven Corey siblings may be an exaggeration, but, consider this; during at least some stage of their lives, this family legacy has been instrumental in determining their futures. And in recent years, a third generation of Corey offspring have entered the business. For Jeff Corey, however, the concept of family extends well beyond immediate family to include all 150 Day’s employees—all of whom have been trained “the Day’s way”. Jeff says that all employees are well versed in Day’s Mission and the“VOTS” (Value, Opportunity, Trust, and Sentiment) that are at its core.
Day’s Mission
Day’s mission is “to build a company that stands the test of time.”
Value
We promise to always provide the best value in our goods and services.
Opportunity
We promise to provide everyone with the opportunity to own fine jewelry.
Trust
We promise to always conduct business in an environment of trust and transparency. Jeff Corey and his Mom, Enid Corey, celebrating Day’s being selected as Maine’s Retailer of the Year in 2016
13 • MAINE SENIORS
Sentiment
We believe that the true value of a piece of jewelry is not in its price, but what it means to the person who wears it.
Jeff Corey • PRIME MOVER
To say that the jewelry business runs through the veins of the seven Corey siblings may be an exaggeration, but, consider this; during at least some stage of their lives, this family legacy has been instrumental in determining their futures. It’s not all work and no play for Jeff and Kathy, however. They know how to enjoy what the State of Maine has to offer. Whether it’s skiing, fishing, swimming, sailing around in Penobscot Bay in their boat“Diamond”, or making the 400 mile trip from Waterville
to Madawaska by snowmobile to visit Bob and Enid and other relatives, they stay active. Jeff Corey refers to his father as a “magical person”. Well, so is Jeff. He is blessed with a warm welcoming smile, a true sense of humor, and an engaging gift for conversation. The kind of person who calls you by name and looks you directly in the eye; Jeff’s sincerity is palpable. Jeff’s success is not the result of luck. It is the predictable outcome of a life steeped in strong family ties, faith, values, work ethic, business acumen, and knowledge of and devotion to the jewelry business. These qualities have enabled Jeff Corey and the Corey family to fulfill Day’s promise “to provide everyone with the opportunity to own fine jewelry”. And to think, it all started with a youngster who needed money to buy school clothes! MSM
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PRIME MOVER • Jeff Corey
Day’s Jewelers presents $10,000 check to Camp Sunshine, a retreat for children with life threatening illnesses and their families located in Casco, Maine. Over the past 4 years, Day’s has helped to procure $35,000 in grants to Camp Sunshine through Jewelers for Children organization.
Honors/Awards & Community Involvement Jeff Corey
Kathy Corey
• 1985 to 1995 - Board member and past President of Downtown Waterville Business Association
• 1996 to 2004 - Board Member and past Chairman of Board of Directors Mid-Maine Chamber of Commerce
• 1995 - Mid Maine Chamber Business Person of the Year award.
• 2000 to 2003 - Board Member of State of Maine’s Main Street Program
• 1995 to 2007 - Board of Directors and past President of Maine Jewelers Association.
• 2001 to 2010 - Board Member Waterville Recreational and Arts Cultural Center
• 1999 to current - Board of Advisors for JCK Shows, America’s largest jewelry trade show
• 2003 to 2015 - Trustee and past Chairman of Inland Hospital Board of Trustees.
• 2000 - Inducted into National Jeweler’s Retailer Hall of Fame. • 2000 to 2008 - Board of Directors of Jewelers of America. • 2002 - Inducted into Husson University Hall of Fame. • 2008 to 2016 - Board member and past Chairman of the Board of Directors of Mid Maine Chamber of Commerce.
• 2004 to 2013 - Board Member Waterville Development Corporation • 2005 - Mid Maine Chamber of Commerce Elias Joseph Award for Chamber Service. • 2006 - Business and Professional Women’s Woman of the Year Award. • 2006 to current - Trustee and past Chairman of Board of Trustees of Kennebec Community College Foundation Board.
• 2008 to current - Board of Directors and Vice Chairman of Jewelers of America Political Action Committee
• 2009 - Women’s Jewelry Organization selected as National Retailer of the Year for Independent Jewelry Chains.
• 2011 to current - Board of Directors, national charity, Jewelers for Children.
• 2014 to current - DeBeers Forevermark Leadership Council
• 2014 to current - DeBeers Forevermark Leadership Council
• 2015 to current - Board of Directors of Eastern Maine Healthcare Systems, second largest health care system in Maine. • 2015 to current - Board Member of Diamond Empowerment Fund.
Enid and Bob Corey with their 7 children and grandchildren at their Summer home in Sinclair, Maine.
Jeff Corey • PRIME MOVER
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Day’s Jewelers was selected among Best Places to Work in Maine for 2 years in a row.
Maine’s Governor, Paul LePage cuts ribbon to celebrate grand opening of Day’s Augusta store in December 2016.
WINTER 2017 • 1 6
PRIME MOVER • Rachel Rubeor
This Page: Rachel in the office reading the final version of this article. Rachel is a hands on Board member of the Library. She came from the Library where she and staff had been painting buoys for a spring fundraiser.“We paint the buoys this neutral color,” she says holding up her hands.“We had the buoys on a line and they were sliding.” She laughed.“Next time we’ll bring clothes pins.”
Next Page: Four of the five sheds that make up the Smokehouse and museum.The structure on pilings in the back left is the Brining Shed where herring were first uploaded from the fishing boats. It is the last remaining structure and faces a long dire winter. The plan is to raise funds to remove it from the pilings and beach it for restoration then restore it to new pilings.
17 • MAINE SENIORS
Rachel Rubeor • PRIME MOVER
Rachel Rubeor
"
BY CHRISTINE E. FISHER
M
y sister,” says Rachel Rubeor,“came to Lubec in 1984 to fulfill her dream of living by the ocean and running a bed and breakfast for the tourist industry. I visited often in the summers when I was teaching and became intrigued with the McCurdy Smokehouse complex. I volunteered, as summer people do, and eventually retired from teaching and moved here. By that time, I was dedicated to preserving the remarkable history of the Downeast Maine coastal heritage and culture.”
In its heyday Lubec, the easternmost town in the US, supported a population of nearly 4,000 people through its herring smoking and canning industries. The population was completely tied to the sea. Men, women, and yes, children worked in the great wooden
“Let it go! Let the sea take it!”
said many former workers of McCurdy’s Herring Smokehouse in Lubec, ME
structures on pilings in the bay and narrows between Lubec and Campobello, New Brunswick, Canada. The days were long and the work was arduous. From unloading herring from the small boats, to pickling, skinning, drying, smoking, weighing, and packing it, the work was done by hand. Twenty smokehouses in Lubec produced 50,000 to 60,000 boxes of fish annually. Rachel met many people who had worked at the Smokehouse including John McCurdy himself, one of the owners of the Smokehouse when it was still a thriving business. It closed in 1991 and is the only remaining example of its kind. Many of the people she met were former workers who scoffed at the idea of preservation.“Let it go!” they said.“Let the sea take it.”
WINTER 2017 • 1 8
PRIME MOVER • Rachel Rubeor Inside the museum, John McCurdy, former owner of the Smokehouse talks about the history of the industry and the processes of preparing herring for the markets.
“It wasn’t always this way,” adds
Rachel.“When I first came to Lubec, Lubec Landmarks, the group involved with preserving the Smoke-
house, was at a bit of a standstill.”
“The McCurdy Smokehouse Complex is now on The National Register of Historic Places. Lubec Landmarks claimed, preserved and restored several structures and established a small museum with artifacts from the herring smoking works,” says Rachel. It is a simple and elegant museum that tells the story not only of the process from fishing for herring and pickling and smoking it for sales and shipping, but also reveals much of the lives of the people involved as fishermen and workers in the sheds. The pictures are evocative of times gone by as well as the Coastal Seafaring Heritage. It is the children and grandchildren of these people who come to look and are excited by seeing in a vivid way just how their own parents and grandparents lived and worked. They leave with a sense of history and belonging and appreciation that would, in no other way, reach out to them and make them feel like a living part of history. Many feel a new awareness and excitement about the past and feel it in the present. SPECIALTY VEHICLE SALES, SERVICE
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“It wasn’t always this way,” adds Rachel. “When I first came to Lubec, Lubec Landmarks, the group involved with preserving the Smokehouse, was at a bit of a standstill.” Rachel was invited onto the Board of Trustees of Lubec Landmarks as Secretary when it was clear that she had become a year round resident of Lubec.“When I retired, I bought this house. It was just a wee cape at first. I had encountered that kind of suspicion of people from away and the insular atmosphere of a town that once had known great prosperity which was followed by hard times. There was a pervasive sense of something akin to hopelessness, but I could also feel that there was hope and a longing for something not defined.” “I identified with the underlying mood of lethargy in the community because I grew up in a paper mill town that had suffered the
Rachel Rubeor • PRIME MOVER
Barbara Frazier (left) member of the Board of Lubec Landmarks and Rachel Rubeor, President of the Board, move the handmade bins into place for Spring.
same loss of spirit and direction. I spent a year or two working to develop consensus among Board members. We began to redefine our direction to include community events and involvement. This was inspired by my sister’s thoughts and efforts earlier. “We sought to foster a sense of local ownership, not only of the McCurdy Smokehouse, but of Lubec itself. We began to move beyond preserving the structures to form the Gallery featuring local talent and artisans and to develop the museum as a living theater of the way it was. “One of the first things we did was clean up the earth around the complex and nourish the local plants like the Beach Roses. This included general clean up not only of the land and buildings but of our part of Lubec’s main street, Water Street, too. We cleared the rubble and planted local wildflowers. We made it physically attractive and inviting with paths and benches and flowers. People began to get interested in our work. Now there is a day each year dedicated to Spring Clean-up. "Spring Clean-up is not just of McCurdy’s but of the town and beaches and water front around it. It is a fine community event.” WINTER 2017 • 2 0
PRIME MOVER • Rachel Rubeor
Norma Harrop is the founder of Lubec Landmarks; Hugh French of the Tides Institute and Museum of Art in Eastport, ME.
Rachel described a series of events that began to make a huge difference in the mood and atmosphere of the work. In 2009 the Gallery opened.“Edward Hawes wrote brilliant grant applications and with the influx of some money, there was an uptick in spirit. Gary Howard, a skilled craftsman, offered his skill, and his wife, an artist, participated fully. I could feel things coming together,” Rachel said. Last Spring at Rachel’s instigation, a member of the community, Allen Mead, built flower boxes to enhance the outside of the Mulholland Gallery, the first structure to be preserved. With
21 • MAINE SENIORS
flowers at the front and the door wide open, the Gallery was busy all summer long. “We started inviting artists to show at our Gallery,” Rachel says. “It was a challenge at first, but for the past couple years, artists have come to us to ask for a showing. On the first Saturday of each exhibition, we hold a wine and cheese reception for the artist and the general public. This is a growing event and works are offered for sale with a fair split between the artist and Lubec Landmarks. The best part, for me, is that members of the community from all
Rachel Rubeor • PRIME MOVER
PRIME MOVER • Rachel Rubeor walks attend right along with tourists and other artists from away.” In the summer of 2016, Lubec Landmarks began a series of talks dubbed “Salt Air Talks.” Presenters included Norma Harrop, who founded Lubec Landmarks, and who was joined by Hugh French of the Tides Institute and Museum of Art in Eastport, Maine, who has written extensively about Lubec. Another presenter was Viola Munson who started working at McCurdy’s Smokehouse when she was 16 and stayed until it closed in 1991. When she spoke, the participants were silent in awe and fascination. John McCurdy, a former owner of the Smokehouse, also spoke and led discussions inside the Museum itself. Talks were held in the Museum and in the Gallery to capacity crowds. “The best part,” says Rachel, “was how many people of the community of Lubec attended!” With Rachel, the word“Community” crops up time and again. Her involvement with Lubec Landmarks, though dear to her heart, is not the sole focus of her attention. “The idea of the Marathon was Katherine Cassidy’s inspiration.” she says, “And it caught on!” She refers to the Bay of Fundy International Marathon. “It was John Hough who stepped up to direct the first and every subsequent race. I began as the Volunteer Coordinator on the US side…and still am. Beginning the second year, I took over as co-chair. “The first Marathon was run in 2013. We expected 250 people but ended up with 750!” The Bay of Fundy International Marathon is a marathon between Lubec, Maine, United States and Campobello Island, New Brunswick, Canada. A 10K is also organized alongside the marathon. The 10K takes place entirely within Lubec. The race begins at West Quoddy Head Lighthouse, which is the easternmost point in the United States. Runners cross the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Bridge connecting Maine to New Brunswick and run until they reach Head Harbour Lighthouse (East Quoddy Lighthouse), at which time the runners turn around and return to Lubec. “In 2014, we had less than 300 runners. We attributed that to what we called the‘Boston Effect.’ We thought it could have been reaction to the bombings. Runners also went to races whose courses were qualifiers for the Boston Marathon,” Rachel explained. “So we set about getting our course qualified for the Boston Marathon.” 23 • MAINE SENIORS
Gardeners and Board members at McCurdy’s Smokehouse in the Spring.
With Rachel, the word “Community” crops up time and again. Her involvement with Lubec Landmarks, though dear to her heart, is not the
sole focus of her attention.
Viola Munson started working at the McCurdy Smokehouse when she was 16. Her talk held her listeners spellbound.
Rachel Rubeor • PRIME MOVER
“By 2016, the population of Lubec nearly doubled during race week. Motels, B&Bs, rooming houses, and homes with extra bedrooms were filled to overflowing with racers and their families. The town was bursting with excitement. We used the school for sign ins and ran school buses to the start of the race. Volunteers from Lubec and Campobello posted themselves at intervals offering water and refreshments and always encouraging words. Volunteers ran way stations and bicycled with racers to offer help and assistance and EMTs were available throughout the day.” “I don’t think,” says Rachel, “that there was even one resident of Lubec who was not somehow involved with the Marathon. The management of stores, the bank, the people cheering racers from the sidewalks, the cooperation of the Border Patrols all were immensely involved and joy filled.” And the response from the runners was awesome: “Epic. . . . the pure essence of what a marathon should be.” “Awesome organization, beautiful course, small friendly town, breath-taking nature and scenery.”
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“The medal is hand-crafted and very special–beautiful scallop shells – closer to jewelry than the usual medal.” “Even the border agents were cheering us on!” Not all Volunteer Coordinators have Rachel’s success getting cooperation. Of that, she says, “Getting the right volunteers is always a challenge, but years of teaching and assessing skills have come in handy. I invite people to do what they like doing, and I let them do it.” Rachel is also on the Board of the Lubec Library and is one of the prime coordinators of the annual book sale. “Having always been an avid reader and reading having been an integral part of my teaching career, it is a natural fit!” With a certain genuine pride, she adds,“In the past two years I have been elected to the post of select person. In fact, I felt ill-equipped for the job but dove in with my eyes open. It has proven to be challenging and worthwhile. It is very rewarding to think and act toward the betterment of the Community.” MSM
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PRIME MOVER • Cary James
James
CARY
For the better part of the last decade, leadership from across the sectors has voiced a national call to action for STEM—or the specific, applied integration of science, technology, engineering and mathematics that many indicators suggest is critical to the nation’s educational and economic futures.
F
ive years into its answer to the national STEM call, the Bangor School Department and its STEM Academy led by veteran teacher and Maine senior Cary James is making its own voice heard within and beyond the STEM conversation. 25 • MAINE SENIORS
BY PAUL BUTLER
In the fall of 2011, Bangor Superintendent of Schools Dr. Betsy Webb challenged Bangor High School (BHS) and specifically James, the school’s longtime Science Department Chair, to expand a science research program that had brought his students to national and international prominence in science competition; students like Becky Ye, 2010 National Winner of the prestigious Stockholm Junior Water Prize (SJWP). James recalls telling Ye early that year, “Who knows? If you work hard enough then you and I could be dining with the King of Sweden this summer” —a perk that comes with traveling to Stockholm for the competition. “Sure enough, there we were that summer dining on pheasant with
Cary James • PRIME MOVER
James recalls telling Ye early that year, “Who knows? If you work hard enough then
you and I could be dining with the King of Sweden this summer.” the King. It was unbelievable that a kid from Bangor High School got to that point.” One year later, Leila Musavi, also mentored by James, proved the feat was not so unbelievable after all. Musavi was named firstrunner up at the 2011 SJWP, received an award for research innovation, and that summer became the second consecutive BHS student to visit Sweden and dine with the King. “The experience was truly unbelievable and showed that Bangor kids are capable
of competing at the highest levels of STEM research” James summarizes. “Those successes became a real catalyst for the start of the STEM Academy.” The ensuing fall brought Superintendent Webb’s vision of a STEM Academy very literally to the Bangor High School doorstep in an early-year meeting with James and school leadership. Webb recalled recently,“I went to Cary and challenged him to develop a program accessible to any interested and passionate student—a program that would create a cohort of STEM learners through what had been to that point a highly successful individualized model.” James responded with an intense three-month program design phase that drew upon leading STEM sources within and beyond education, including former students Ye and Musavi among others. “Their feedback was crucial, and it supported what we were finding from the trusted national STEM models about connecting the curriculum to an ongoing research apprenticeship with a STEM mentor,” recalls James. “We also wanted to build [the Academy]
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PRIME MOVER • Cary James
in a way that would help us go after major grants, including NSF [National Science Foundation], to expand the program. ‘Think big’ was the idea.” Thinking big has led to big outcomes for STEM Academy students, over 30 of whom are slated to enter as 9th grade students this fall. Since 2012, STEM Academy students have earned top finishes and dozens of category honors at several state, regional and national science research competitions. A highlight is Paige Brown’s First Place Medal for Global Good at the 2016 Intel Science Talent Search, the nation’s oldest and most prestigious high school science competition that claims eight Nobel Prize award winners in its 75-year history. Big things remain in store for the first four-year STEM Academy cohort of graduates as they continue their STEM studies on the nation’s most prestigious campuses, including Brown’s matriculation to Stanford University and several Ivy League acceptances among the impressive STEM Class of 2016.
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Cary James • PRIME MOVER
Big things remain in store for the first four-year STEM Academy cohort of graduates as they continue their STEM studies on the nation’s most
prestigious campuses.
James pledges annually “to work as hard—maybe even harder, than the kids” and models the commitment required in successful science research and in a successful life. It is not a solo endeavor, however. James continually marvels at the knowledge, passion, and total quality of Bangor High School teachers within and beyond the Science Department. Other supportive STEM partnerships have emerged. For a three-year period in the early going, a generous grant from the
Mei Tian and Lily Waddell at the STEM Lab
James remains at the heart of STEM Academy and continues to think big. At age 64 and nearly four years since the time of Webb’s challenge, James is entering his 32nd year as a Chemistry teacher, the last 17 in Bangor. An avid cyclist and a frequenter of Maine’s inland waterways, James has a passion for water quality that has flowed meaningfully into the school’s STEM curriculum—which under his direction has expanded to all students regardless of their enrollment in the STEM Academy. Water research has been very fruitful for BHS students, who may soon claim a tenth win in the state-level Stockholm Junior Water Prize competition, a run that precedes the origination of the STEM Academy. Others have achieved authorship listing in juried research publications, an accomplishment typically reserved for graduate-level researchers. And, the focus on water quality worked famously for Brown, whose celebrated research focused on the cost-effective removal of phosphorous from storm water runoff, a pervasive environmental issue that threatens water-based ecosystems.
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PRIME MOVER • Cary James
BHS students claim four of nine awards at the 2016 US Junior Science & Humanities Symposium (L-R in order): Isaac Robinson 4th; Paige Brown 5th; James Prescott 6th; Morgan Jones 7th
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A constant STEM education partner, however, is the University of Maine School of Engineering and Associate Dean Dr. Mohamad Musavi, father to Leila and a major proponent of STEM statewide. Several UMaine Engineering faculty members serve as mentors for STEM Academy student researchers, lending their expertise and providing access to high-level lab facilities that bring authenticity to the research apprenticeship—the core of the STEM Academy experience. An NSF grant won by Musavi has for the past two summers brought dozens of BHS faculty and students and dozens more from across Maine high schools to the UMaine campus for weeklong intensive studies of storm water pollution and mitigation. This unique collaboration earned James and Musavi the prestigious 2014 K-12 STEM Literacy Educator-Engineer Partnership Award from IEEE-USA, our nation’s division of the largest technical engineering organization in the world. Such rich STEM experiences within and beyond Bangor High School surely create post-secondary pathways to the state’s flagship
Cary James • PRIME MOVER
BHS Science Bowl - BHS STEM students win second consecutive Maine State Science Bowl (L-R):Tyler DeFroscia, Isaac Robinson, Conor Thompson, David Rubin
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PRIME MOVER • Cary James
STEM Academy students Conor Thompson (L) and Isaac Robinson tinker with the functioning of a code-driven machine
university. Among Maine high schools, Bangor sends more students to the UMaine system than any other, and a written agreement between BHS and UMaine provides opportunity for STEM Academy graduates to earn a UMaine undergraduate Engineering degree in three years.
has become the structure of other BHS Academies in other disciplines—Visual & Performing Arts, Business, and Humanities. We have found if you have high expectations, students willingly accept the challenge and we know these experiences better prepare high school students for their post secondary dreams.”
As the nation continues to direct its young people to meaningful opportunities in STEM-related fields, Webb sees Bangor’s unique STEM pathway extending even further. “I believe we have built a program that places BHS students on trajectory to fill the unfilled STEM jobs that statistics show are available to them right here in the State of Maine. The successful STEM Academy model
As STEM continues to flourish at BHS, veteran teacher and Maine senior Cary James will continue to drive the growth conversation. “We have built a great program in what I truly believe is the best high school in the country. The kids are unbelievable, and they learn that working harder than they thought they could leads to amazing accomplishments. I’m lucky to be part of it.” MSM
31 • MAINE SENIORS
Cary James • PRIME MOVER
Cary James, mentor for Paige Brown, celebrates with her mother, Heather Brown, the top finish at the Intel Student Talent Search in Washington D.C.
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PRIME MOVER • Denis Ledoux
DENIS
Ledoux BY PAULETTE OBOYSKI
Has your family been prompting you to write your life story? Denis Ledoux may be able to help you with this endeavor.
D
enis Ledoux is a storyteller, ghostwriter, editor and writing coach who has twice won Maine Arts Commission Fellowships and a Maine Arts Commission Fiction Award. His expertise is helping people to write and publish their personal stories. He is the owner of the Memoir Network and the Soleil Press, located in Lisbon Falls, Maine. His best-selling book, Turning Memories into Memoirs/A Handbook for Writing Lifestories (Soleil Press) is a detailed and easy to read guide to get you started and finished with your memoir. Ledoux relates,“The what and who of a story is not enough. What makes a memoir interesting is an exploration of the dynamics of a life. I challenge people to discover their life’s motives. In that respect, writing a memoir can be cathartic. I tell clients that it is not a problem to write something negative, but our object is never to ‘throw stones’! It is merely to tell the truth—as we see it. Many of my clients have told me that the process of writing an in-depth memoir has been emotionally expansive and certainly is less expensive than therapy, and in the end, they have a book. But, not everyone is willing to take a plunge into the depth, and I can live with that. Ultimately, I cannot go further than my clients are willing to go with their stories. It is always their book.” 33 • MAINE SENIORS
Ledoux with His Books Photo by Victor Oboyski
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Denis Ledoux • PRIME MOVER
Ledoux at Brunswick Writers Workshop
“The what and who of a story is not enough. What makes a memoir
interesting is an exploration of the dynamics of a life. I challenge people to discover their life’s motives. Born in Lewiston, January 18,1947, Ledoux lives just a mile from his childhood home. He graduated from St. Joseph’s Oblate Seminary in Bucksport, Maine. He earned a BA in English Literature and MA in Education from Catholic University in Washington, D.C. He became an English teacher at first, but found his true calling when he began teaching adult education memoir writing workshops. A woman from one of his early workshops in Brunswick approached him after class and asked him to be the editor of her memoir. She became his first editing client and his Memoir Network editing, coaching and ghostwriting business has grown from that point to the present.
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PRIME MOVER • Denis Ledoux
FRANCO-AMERICAN
Ledoux grew up in a multigenerational home with his mother, Lucille Verreault Ledoux, his father, Albert Ledoux, one brother and four sisters and his paternal grandparents who lived upstairs. Both sets of his grandparents were born in Quebec, Canada and French was spoken in his home. His paternal grandmother and his father were storytellers. Ledoux’s own Franco American roots inspired his entry into memoir writing. His first book, What Became of Them and Other Stories, published in1988 through his Soleil Press, was fiction loosely based on stories he heard while growing up. In 2014, Ledoux published and co-wrote his mother’s memoir, We Were Not Spoiled. The memoir of her young life is an interesting and revealing glimpse into the Maine Franco community in the first half of the last century.
Verreault Family Photo, 1927
Ledoux and his wife, Martha Blowen, raised their family in Lisbon Falls right next door to her parents. His daughter, Zoe, now lives in Montreal with her husband and two francophone children and Ledoux’s son, Max, lives in New Hampshire. Blowen passed away
What are you waiting for? Maine Seniors Magazine is chockfull of the stories, photos, moments and memories that you love— and it's only $29.95 for 10 issues! To start getting your favorite magazine right at your front door, mail your check (payable to Maine Seniors Magazine) to 87 Hillside Ave, Bangor, ME 04401. Don't delay—subscribe today!
35 • MAINE SENIORS
Denis Ledoux • PRIME MOVER
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An English major at Bates College, Martha Blowen was the main editor of Ledoux’s best-selling book, Turning Memoirs Into Memories. It was honed from his writing and teaching experiences. The book, which contains sophisticated content written in plain English, has received solid reviews and mentions from publications such as Booklist, Time and Yankee magazines and newspapers around the country. It is a step-by-step guide for anyone who wishes to write a memoir. After his wife’s passing, Ledoux compiled her memoir from her journals and his recollections and published, A Sugary Frosting/A Memoir of a Girlhood Spent in a Parsonage. The book has since received over 50 reviews on Amazon alone. MEMOIRS—HERE AND ABROAD
“In 1999, I expanded individual coaching and editing by taking on phone work and in 2000, I reached an international base of clients through my website.” Ledoux continues,“I get to work with stimulating people. My real interest is to help people write their stories with more depth and social and psychological analysis. I have written, coached, or edited memoirs every day, 5 days a week, for almost 30 years. I have ghost written at least 30 plus books, have edited many more and mentored numerous people who wrote their own memoirs. I also count as successes, those of my clients who stopped writing after the first draft, but were happy with that result as well.” A few years ago, the Eritrean Minister of Education emailed Ledoux and asked him to ghostwrite a memoir about the Eritrean civil war. He requested that Ledoux send him a bank account number so that the Minister could deposit the payment for this service. It had all the makings of a scam but the full story seemed slightly believable to Ledoux.
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PRIME MOVER • Denis Ledoux
At his local bank branch, Ledoux was advised to open a separate account for this client with a deposit of $25, which would not be a great loss to Ledoux if this were a scam. Ledoux gave the man the account number. The man deposited payments over six months. Ledoux assigned the story to one of his editors (he has a stable of long-distance co-workers) and the edits were emailed to the Eritrean Minister regularly. The book, which Ledoux believes was funded by the Eritrean government, was completed in record time. Mona Cocciardi is Ledoux’s first cousin. She helped Ledoux finish the last 100 pages of her father, Robert Verreault’s memoir, Business Boy to Business Man. Her father passed before he was able to finish dictating the book, which Ledoux was ghostwriting. Cocciardi relates,“My cousin and I worked together on the finishing touches of the story, mostly through email. Denis is very skillful at writing memoirs in the person’s own voice, so when the book was completed, even the ending sounded like my Dad. For my father, the primary
The natural choice in retirement living purpose of this book was to have a written family heritage for the grandchildren. He would have been very pleased, because at the book launch in Lewiston, we had a big turnout of family and friends and all the printed copies of the book were sold out.” MAINE SENIOR
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Ledoux has lived the majority of his life in Maine. He says,“What I like about being a Maine Senior is that the whole state is like a small town. You end up, very quickly, having a mutual connection with many of the people that you meet. You can go to any group— Franco American groups, writer’s groups, political groups—and chances are you either know people there or they know people that you know. The links make living in Maine personal.” Luckily he can do all of his business here in Maine through the Internet! MSM If you would like help creating your memoir, Denis Ledoux is right here in Maine. His website is www.thememoirnetwork.com.
37 • MAINE SENIORS
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ENCORE CAREER? What will you do for your BY DR. LEN KAYE
I have decided not to welcome in 2017 by encouraging you to stop smoking, eat better and exercise more. Nor am I going to suggest that you finally treat yourself by attending to some of the items that have accumulated on your life long bucket list.
I
nstead, how about spending some time thinking about what you might want to do as an encore career? I’m talking about how you might want to direct your passion, skills, and experience in ways that will be personally satisfying and, at the same time, make a difference in the world in which you live. That is the challenge that Mark Freedman, founder and CEO of encore.org. has advocated for and predicts will be the momentous legacy left by millions of current and future generations of adults 50 years of age and older. 39 • MAINE SENIORS
He calls encore careers “second acts for the greater good”, which is also the catch phrase of encore.org (formerly called Civic Ventures). Freedman says encore careers represent the biggest transformation in the American workforce since the women’s movement. It is the talent of millions of older Americans which Freedman argues is now coming to the rescue of social-sector organizations that face a growing number of challenges including scarce resources, greater and greater demand for the programs that they offer, and growing gaps in available services for those in need. In Maine, for example, the pool of talent found among older residents of the state is extraordinary. That talent is already being expressed in encore careers that have these older Mainers doing any number of jobs—some compensated and some offered voluntarily.
skills preparation at the local university or community college, or helping your town transform itself and become more age friendly, are just a few of the ways you can put your skills to work in an encore career.
Make no mistake, anyone and
everyone can pursue an encore career. Those who decide on an encore career are
exceedingly diverse individuals. An encore career can provide you with the opportunity to do something you have always wanted to do at the same time that you are giving back to your community and helping organizations in your community thrive. The result—your efforts are adding quality to the lives of your fellow citizens. Encore careers can be undertaken in schools, museums, community services, government, social enterprises, and more. Serving in the state legislature, mentoring children, offering your business skills to a fledgling organization, sitting on city and town councils, teaching or offering vocational
Make no mistake, anyone and everyone can pursue an encore career. Those who decide on an encore career are exceedingly diverse individuals. Some have high school degrees while others may have college or even graduate level education. They come from all sociodemographic backgrounds and bring a vast array of varying talents to the table. They do, however, have one thing in common— they want to have an impact and make a difference.
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What will you get out of an encore career? Well, the research tells us that you will receive large doses of pride in yourself and your work, extraordinary personal satisfaction, discover creative outlets for making good use of your skills and talents (whatever they are!), and pass knowledge on to the next generation. You might call an encore career a form of “unretirement.” I, for one, think retirement is overrated and often ends up not being all that it is advertised to be. That is especially the case when the last 20 or even 30 years of your life lived in retirement results in inactivity, lack of purpose, and disengagement from the world around you. Do you think you want to be able to share your talent with others in ways that will benefit society? Is your inner self telling you that you want to leave a mark and influence the lives for the better of those who will follow in your footsteps? If you want to help address the critical challenges facing our world, why not make 2017 the year you consider an encore career? Learn more at encore.org. MSM
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41 • MAINE SENIORS
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In a BLINK BY WALDO CLARK
My patience is tested. I’m so peeved that I’ve got a major-league chip on my shoulder. I bet you do too.
T
o point, an article in The Boston Globe titled“New credit cards chip away at customers’ patience,” caught my interest.“Many consumers are expressing anger and frustration over the new chip-enhanced credit and debit cards.” You see, the verification process takes too long. Customers complain, “I’m used to things happening fast” and “You’re wasting 15 seconds of my life.”
What a tizzy—another public outcry in the form of whine time. You see, we’re so used to our technology-driven gadgets performing tasks with lightning speed that we thrive on the fast lane, not on pause. We view idle moments as bad for our heart. Hey, I miss swiping my credit card. Now I struggle to figure out whether to dip or push it in the slim slot, then wait while others behind me fidget. I hate that. Time crawls, annoyance grows, and irritability heightens. Arms flap, despair deepens. Another time loss. Then the clerk shrugs and tells you, “Sir, you pulled the card out too fast.” You feel the hems and haws from those waiting and toss them a smug, snarl-like smile.
43 • MAINE SENIORS
Writer and speaker Guy Kawaski said, “Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” I’m sure that helps with your own behavior modification. Yeah right. Time is a precious commodity. We abhor delays of any kind and demand instant results, consulting our apps, ordering movie streaming, purchasing the E-ZPass, subscribing to Amazon’s Prime with its two-day delivery; and we detest listening to long boring messages on our smartphone voice mail. We relish in the culture of NOW. Hurry up, I’ve got things to do. We have a compulsive need to constantly engage“techie” world. A sense of urgency prevails. Instant gratification is the preferred default response.
You’ll getatmore You’ll get more 304!at 304 We relish in the culture of NOW.
Hurry up, I’ve got things to do. We have a compulsive need to constantly engage “techie” world. A sense of urgency prevails. Instant gratification is the preferred default response.
We cringe thinking about waiting in the doctor’s office, sitting in traffic enduring the two-minute red light at a busy intersection, standing in line at the bank or grocery store—what is that lady doing? And we yell at the computer some quick when it snags and slows. We rant, sulk, brood, and growl in this time-frazzled existence we’ve created. It brings to mind an old Waldo credo, “Give me patience and give it to me right now.” And it gets worse. In another Globe piece, I read about a new trend, parents outsourcing their kid’s bicycle lessons. My word, outsource them to prep school but don’t violate the sacred tradition of teaching little Johnny how to pedal, for the sake of time. Heresy! I wonder about the implications of all of this. Author Nicolas Carr in “The Patient Deficit” wrote, “Instant gratification … that has cultural as well as personal consequences. The greatest of human works—in art, science, politics—tend to take time and patience both to create and appreciate. The deepest experiences can’t be measured in fractions of seconds.” The latter is true, unless you’re talking about your red Ferrari. I suppose the overall theme here is that our long-term goals and satisfactions must outweigh our short-term gratification. A worthy and wise thought to ponder. Speaking of short-term gratification, my sausage and onion pizza just arrived. Say, how do tip a drone? MSM
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HEALTH TREASURES
WINTER
Cabin Fever BY JOAN CLARK
Now that the holidays are over, those of us who live in Maine face several long months of winter weather.
I
am concerned about Dad. He’s never been one to enjoy winter sports events or, for that matter, making an effort to venture outside when the cold wind blows.
Perhaps, you feel the same way. In the dead of winter have you ever felt the walls closing in, darkness overtaking the day and a feeling of dread? If your answer is yes, you might have “cabin fever.” Definition of cabin fever: extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor space for a prolonged time. After the summer solstice, Maine continues to lose daylight until the winter solstice on December 21st, when this past December, sunrise was at 7:09:41 A.M., and sunset 3:57:09 PM giving us only 8 hours, 47 minutes and 27 seconds of daylight. The amount of daylight is also dependent on weather conditions, such as clouds and storms. During a stormy season we can go without daylight for days at a time. It has been well established that a lack of natural sunlight can cause depression. This has been found especially true throughout Scandinavia and in the extreme north of America.
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Pick Up A Copy At A Local Store Today Or Call,
207-623-1411 There are many ways to combat cabin fever even if you cannot go outside due to ice or snow. You can simply sit on a comfortable chair by a sunny window and soak up some vitamin D. Dr. Lenard Kaye is the Director and Professor for the Center on Aging at the University of Maine and is a contributing writer for Maine Seniors Magazine. He suggests other preventive measures such as tackling a home improvement project, going outdoors, doing some entertaining, taking a class, video Skype-ing with friends, and staying active.
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For more information, please read Dr. Len Kaye’s, Sage Lens“Cabin Fever” article in the Maine Seniors magazine February 2014 digital (online) edition on pages 16 to 18. I think I’ll call Waldo and ask him to come for lunch tomorrow. Maybe he’d like to take in a movie some day next week. MSM Pick up a copy today at a local store or call 207-623-1411 for subscription information
www.unclehenrys.com Do not be a victim of "Cabin Fever" by Casey Johnson
SPECIAL
Membership means CARING FOR ONE ANOTHER
Being a member of a family, church or any other organization has with it many benefits. An association is best defined as an organization of people with a common purpose.
T
he Maine Association of Retirees is a membership based association that offers many benefits to its members. If you are a retired state employee, educator, participating local district employee or the spouse or other beneficiary of a retiree than you can benefit from your membership with MAR.
At MAR we have a staff dedicated to delivering value to our members, whether it is discounts on wellness and fitness offerings such as dental care, hearing, and fitness clubs… or vacation offerings,
47 • MAINE SENIORS
wealth management advice, flowers, pizza and even a deep discount on MAINE SENIORS Magazine, MAR is here for you! We strive to secure opportunities for members to maximize the value of their retirement funds. However, most important is that MAR is your voice in Augusta and Washington, D.C. It is our job to ensure that your retirement income is protected. When contacting Legislators, MAR's Legislative Committee suggests that MAR members remind Legislators that MePERS was established to provide Maine’s public service retirees with a reasonable and reliable retirement income that keeps up with the changing cost of living expenses promised when they began their careers. To emphasize the fact that these issues were in fact a promise made to people entering Maine public service.
SPECIAL
MAR’s Legislative Committee members and MAR’s Executive Committee strongly urge individual MAR members to contact their Legislators and urge them to keep the promises
made to public service retirees.
At the federal level we continue to work on the Social Security Windfall and Government Pension Offset Provisions. In fact, over twenty (20) MAR members and MAR staff met with U.S. Representative Chellie Pingree and U.S. Representative Bruce Poliquin, via the telephone, and their staff, in person, on the Social Security Windfall Elimination and the Pension Offset Provisions. Additionally, MAR members met with both Senators Susan Collins and Angus King’s staff. They acknowledge the unfairness of the Provisions and are working to change them. At each meeting, MAR members supplied the Representatives and Senators with their individual circumstances and the negative financial impact of the two different Social Security provisions. They are understanding of the issues and sympathized with the impacts on Maine public service retirees. MAR members and the Maine Association of Retirees, Inc. asked for their support in changing these provisions and offered any help we can provide them in this effort. The Social Security Windfall Elimination Provision impacts Maine public service retirees who have participated in both the Maine Public Employee Retirement System (MePERS) and the U.S. Social Security System. For MePERS retirees who also have at least 40 quarters of coverage under the U.S. Social Security benefit, a different Social Security benefit formula is used to determine their Social Security benefit amount. This formula reduces the amount of Social Security benefit the MePERS retiree receives by approximately 41%. This is the Windfall Elimination Provision. The Social Security Government Pension Offset Provision impacts Social Security spousal or widow(er)’s benefits of Maine Public
Laurianne Cormier golfing
As a member, you will have access to: Dental insurance at group rates Discounted rates from Liberty Mutual on auto and home insurance $15 registration rebate for Senior College
WINTER 2017 • 4 8
SPECIAL
David Van Burgel, MAR member, holding bamboo fly rod building class Hilary Fleming, MAR member, participating in local Recycle Committee meeting
49 • MAINE SENIORS
SPECIAL
Testimonials I am so appreciative of the efforts that MAR continues to work on to try to address the unfairness of the Social Security Windfall Offset, and how it affects the retirees and the retirees surviving spouse. MAR keeps Maine’s congressional delegation on top of the issue with all the information they need to address the problem, and are even working with other states that are also affected in the same way. A mere $1.50 per month that I pay thru payroll deductions is not noticed and a small price to pay for to receive the many diversified benefits that MAR offers. They negotiate with insurance companies to be able to offer members group fees for group dental insurance; a computer guru who is employed by MAR is available to help members with free assistance for their computer problems, and they offer many other benefits that they have been able to negotiate with businesses around the state in behalf of their members. —Rita Melendy, MAR member from Auburn
I am honored to be a member of Maine Association of Retirees and truly believe in this organization. I am committed to MAR because it allows me the opportunity to give back to an organization that was founded by my father, the late John “Jack” Leet, in the early 1980’s. I believe in this organization and look forward to the challenge of helping MAR reach its full potential in the coming years. Protecting the rights and benefits of our MAR members is so important to me. —J. Timothy Leet—35 years of professional experience in public service at all levels of Maine government
When I retired from my career as a Maine educator I joined the Maine Association of Retirees because I wanted to belong to an organization that historically works to keep the Maine Public Employees Retirement System solvent and because the organization provides services and programs that enhance the quality of life for retirees. I am proud to be a member of such a vibrant and professional organization that does so much good. —Robert Powers, MAR member from East Waterboro
When I retired from State service I joined the Maine Association of Retirees because we need a large membership in order to have our concerns listened to in the rough and tumble political world of Augusta and Washington. Frankly, I never expected to take advantage of the various services and discounts that accrue from membership. But all that changed when my iPhone had no room for photos and my computer took forever just to turn on and even longer to complete the simplest of tasks, like checking e-mail or searching the web for the best whoopie pie recipe.That is when I recalled your announcement at the Annual Meeting that computer services are available at MAR headquarters. So, I called Lisa Blue who encouraged me to come in immediately with my phone and computer. Within an hour my phone was cleaned up and snapping pictures. And once Lisa installed two new memory boards in my computer it became a high speed wizard! So, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. It is hard to believe that for $1.50 per month I not only get an amplified voice in Augusta, but I also have access to computer services that exceed similar services I have paid for in the past!! MAR’s computer services are indeed an extraordinary resource I will be using on a regular basis from now on. Be well, and keep doing good for all of us! —A grateful and proud MAR member, Gary Crocker
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TO REDEEM & FOR YOUR FREE QUOTE:
CALL 866-883-4985 and mention this offer or
VISIT your local
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SPECIAL
Member Benefits •
Advocacy before the Legislature on matters affecting Maine Public Service Retirees.
•
Membership whose only objective is protecting retiree rights/ benefits—No affiliation with Unions—Non-political.
•
Quarterly newsletters to members.
•
Comprehensive dental insurance coverage at group rates.
•
Website, Facebook and other social media continually updated with relevant information and links to helpful sites.
•
FREE Notary Public services.
•
FREE faxing, shredding, and photocopying.
•
FREE technical support services for your computer, laptop, tablet, smart phone, etc.
•
FREE or reduced cost services through Beltone New England. MAR members receive 25% discount off retail price of Beltone's hearing aids. MAR members who are current hearing aid users receive a 3 month supply of batteries FREE with a FREE Hearing Test, inspection and cleaning service.
•
Liberty Mutual Insurance Company—As a MAR member, you will receive 10% discount on auto insurance and a 5% discount on home insurance. These discounts are in addition to several other discounts available.
•
When you join/renew as a Sam's Club member, receive a Welcome Package with more than $100 in instant savings.
•
Augusta Florist, 118 Mt. Vernon Ave., Augusta—10% off cut flowers and arrangements. Must show MAR card.
•
Reimbursement of $15 for annual registration in Senior College.
•
Western View Golf Club, Augusta, ME—Present your MAR membership card and golf 9 holes Tuesday-Friday before 2:00 p.m. for $8—cart rental not included in this price.
•
Major's Furniture & Appliance Store, Farmingdale—MAR members receive 10% off furniture/bedding over $399.
•
D.R. Struck Landscape Nursery, 2215 US Rte. 202, Winthrop, ME—Present your MAR membership card and receive 10% off plants in their Garden Center/Nursery and gifts in the Home & Garden Gift shop.
•
Acupuncture Centers, 12 Highland Spring Rd., Lewiston and 2 Union St., Brunswick—10% off on acupuncture with MAR
51 • MAINE SENIORS
Beverly Howard, MAR member, at Annual Meeting winning 50/50 drawing
membership card and another I0% discount on "Preparing for Surgery and Healing Faster" workshop. •
Receive an annual subscription to the Maine Seniors Magazine for $19.95 or purchase two subscriptions for $24.95.
•
Pat's Pizza, 229 State St., Augusta provides a 15% discount (excluding alcoholic beverages, sales tax, & gift card purchases) for MAR members Sunday thru Thursday only. Offer not valid on items already discounted.
•
Fabian Oil will give MAR members an additional 3 cents off their Gold Standard Pricing. You must be credit approved and on auto delivery to get this discount.
•
Kennebec Valley YMCA will give MAR members an additional 10% off the normal monthly bank draft rate.
•
Ever Last Electrolysis, 2277 Union St., Hermon offers $5 off each visit for MAR members.
•
Discounts on certain events at the Cross Insurance Arenas in Portland and Bangor.
•
Orlando Discounts
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Basics Fitness Center, South Portland will waive your $49 enrollment fee.
•
YWCA of Central Maine in Lewiston will give 15% off all programs with exception of child care and pool parties.
SPECIAL
"I am proud to be a member of such a vibrant
MAR Classroom
and professional organization that does so much good."
Employee Retirement System (MePERS). Under this provision, the Social Security survivor’s or spousal benefit is reduced by twothirds of the MePERS benefit amount. Please read MAR's newsletters to get updates on Federal and State legislation. It is always important for members to individually contact their legislators. At Maine Association of Retirees, we continue to provide for our members through advocacy and numerous other benefits. We know that membership means caring for one another and we are proud to invite you to join our association. To learn more and to become a member, visit us at www.maineretirees.org or call us at 1-800-535-6555. MSM
Give MSM a call at 207-299-5358 to find out how you can tell your story to our readers in your very own Guest Article.
MAR Group
WINTER 2017 • 5 2
Falling inor just Love falling for it?
The Knave of Hearts in Cyberspace
BY JANE MARGESSON
The month of February features one of the most popular, romantic days of the year: Valentine’s Day.
M
any of us will find ways to celebrate our loved ones, perhaps with chocolate or red roses. For those of us lucky enough to celebrate this day with our loved one by our side, it is certainly an occasion to which we look forward. For those who may be spending Valentine’s Day without a significant other, the internet may seem like a compelling matchmaker. Online dating sites have become a booming business. There are many terrific sites out there that help connect people to one another across town, across the country and even across the world. Some sites cater to particular populations based on, for example, religious preferences. Most are open to any and all, however, and using multiple search parameters, one can easily begin to “meet up” 53 • MAINE SENIORS
with would-be dates. While I personally know several long-term couples who met online and are very happy, I’ve also heard some sad stories, often because the love interest’s profile wasn’t truthful. Some online daters may change their age or use an outdated photo, but there are also individuals who troll dating sites, woo innocent victims, and then steal as much money from them as they can. In 2013, the Internet Crime Complaint Center reported receiving more than 6,400 complaints regarding romance scams with losses totaling $81 million. Many victims of these crimes are so embarrassed when they realize that their would-be suitors are, in fact, criminals, they never report the incident. If you are dating online or are interested in doing so, taking some simple steps may help protect you from these con artists. For one thing, it is easy to use Google’s “search by image” feature to see if that person’s image shows up in other places using a different name.
THE MAINE POINT
terrific sites out there that help connect people to one another across town, across the country and even across the world.
likely remind consumers not to share personal information such as your address or date of birth. They will also encourage you to be vigilant about users who ask you to leave the site and use personal email addresses. Finally, they will warn you never to send money — especially overseas. Remember that scammers will often take their time to build trust with you one email or phone call at a time. These dances of deceit can go on for months, but eventually, a request for money will make its way into the conversation. This is your clear signal that your love interest may only be interested in your money.
If an email from a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into your favorite browser and see if the words show up on any romance scam sites.
As part of my work with the Fraud Watch Network, I encourage anyone who believes he/she has encountered a scammer online to immediately report it to the Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov.
When you first sign up, most dating services will include some good advice about oversharing on their site. For example, they will
This Valentine’s Day, we want Cupid’s arrow to strike your heart, not your wallet. MSM
Online dating sites have become a booming business. There are many
Entertaining, enjoyable, informative, and effective. Take a look at why Maine Seniors Magazine has become the premiere print media opportunity for your message.
Call 299-5358 today to learn more! WINTER 2017 • 5 4
SPECIAL
BY LC VAN SAVAGE
Let’s talk about sex, OK? Aha! Gotcha! Add “ism” to that lovely three letter word. Make that “sexism.” Lots of that going around… right? But now we’re more aware of it and it’s not as rampant as it once was. I hope.
T
here was a song back in the day that just reeked with the stuff of “ism”—it was written in the 1960s and was called “Wives and Lovers.” Do you remember it? I do. I think Jack Jones sang it. Did Jack actually think those lyrics were PC? I doubt it, but he’s to be forgiven maybe a little because he did have a dreamy voice.
Let’s break that song down, shall we? Here goes. First lines are,“Hey little girl…” Now come on, women today really don’t much like to be patronized and called “little girl” right? Right. That’s for starters. Next the guys who wrote the song go on to say,“Comb your hair, fix your make-up/Soon he will open the door/ Don’t think because/ There’s a ring on your finger/You needn’t try anymore.” Hmmm. Apparently these lyric writers, Burt Bacharach and Hal David didn’t have children because had they, they would have realized, a ring on milady’s finger, notwithstanding, it’s not always simple to apply perfect make-up and pat up one’s “do” at the dinner hour when The Lord and Master walks in, if there are small people screaming, throwing a sibling from the back deck, urinating in the ficus, and heaving metal Tonka trucks into the walls. 55 • MAINE SENIORS
Oh there are (or were) wives back then who managed all that. I knew one woman who met her beloved at the front door every evening with a steam iron in her hand. No, not to smash him with, but to patiently await the removal of his business suit so she could immediately steam-press it and hang it up for him to be ready for whenever it was he wanted to wear it again. That was how her evening began. Presumably this Man Amongst Men tromped about in his shorts, socks and undershirt or maybe out of kindness to The Little Woman’s sensibilities, donned a nice comfy, raggedy old robe and slippers so he could sit around and scratch and wait to be served dinner. Let us move on. The writers now advise their trembling female audiences;“For wives should always be lovers too/Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you/I’m warning you.” You are WHAT?? Warning me? Us? Seriously? I’m rendered speechless. Utterly. What a nerve. Next lyric: “Day after day/There are girls at the office/And men will always be men/ Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers/ You may not see him again.” OK, get a grip, Messrs. Bacharach and David. “Men will always be men”? That’s like a permission thing? You’re kidding, right? Well, women will always be women and there are men at their places of work too, y’know? So watch it, guys. And sending him off with our hair still in curlers? He’s lucky she’s able to
SPECIAL
It’s not always simple to apply perfect make-up and pat up
one’s “do” at the dinner hour when The Lord and Master walks in, if there are small people screaming, throwing a sibling from the back deck, urinating in the ficus, and heaving metal Tonka trucks into the walls. send him off at all, if the kitchen is filled with recalcitrant teenagers balking at—, well just balking. And is there a yapping dog in the scene too? Has a quart of OJ just splattered across the kitchen floor? Is the phone ringing and the school bus honking and is little Billy still throwing the goldfish at the cat to see if she can catch? And this dude is focusing on curlers? Give me a break here, please. Onward. The next words sung are, “Hey little girl (again with the
“little girl”)/Better wear something pretty/Something you’d wear to go to the city/And dim all the lights/Pour the wine, start the music/Time to get ready for love.” Oh, exactly. The little woman charges upstairs as the man is pulling into the driveway, scrambles into something pretty that she’d wear to the city, she dims the lights, starts music, pours the wine (or martinis) and little man opens the door and instantly concludes he’s in the wrong house. After a day with kids, dogs, cats, goldfish, laundry, car pools, a flat tire, vaccinations, blocked toilets, projectile vomiting (hers) and sundry other dramas, she’s gonna be swishing around in chiffon, nylons, high heels and mascara while the lights are so dim the man stumbles into the coffee table, skins his shins and screams to turn off that !#@%&%** music for the luvva @!#$@#!!!? Really? Final lyrics: “Oh, time to get ready/Time to get ready/Time to get ready/For love.” Ah yes, that’s just precisely what that little woman is yearning for right about then. Oh puh-leeze. Happy Valentine’s Day!
MSM
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WINTER 2017 • 5 6
HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
ZAGREB Thinking Zagreb, Croatia was still a drab, old Cold War city, my brother, Patrick, his partner, Terry and I had modest expectations when we traveled there in October of 2015.
A
brief history lesson explains why: Croatia, along with Slovenia, Montenegro, Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Macedonia, were once part of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. In 1991, after years of post WWII social, political, economic strife and ethnic and religious wars, the republics began to break away. Croatia and Slovenia were the first to declare their independence. Soon after, the others did the same, and in 1992 Yugoslavia ceased to exist.
That was not quite 25 years ago—very recent history by any standard. Since it didn't seem possible there would be much to see and do after all that tumult, we planned a quick, two-day visit to Zagreb, a stop-over on our way to other parts of Croatia. 57 • MAINE SENIORS
So much more than we imagined... BY CATHY LICKTEIG MAKOFSKI • PHOTOS BY TERRY RUEBUSH
Zagreb turned out to be a beautiful bustling city of mostly young (median age is 41) local and international professionals, nice shops, busy cafes, and artists and musicians who are becoming recognized throughout the world. Surrounding this city of youthful energy, as if to protect and nurture it, are grand halls, cathedrals, hotels and museums representing the old world's most gorgeous and important styles of architecture—Neo-Baroque, AustroHungarian, Art Nouveau and Romanesque. When we got off the train from Ljubljana, Slovenia to Zagreb we found ourselves in a huge Neoclassical train station that looked like it must have when it opened in 1892. Today trains continuously arrive from and depart for major cities—Vienna, Budapest, Zurich—just as they did when Zagreb was a stop on the old Orient Express, though most of today's travelers are not swathed in furs and surrounded by porters pushing towers of suitcases. We were dressed in jeans, khakis, sweaters, wore backpacks and pulled small roller bags along very long platforms into the station.
HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
Well-being & Peace of Mind.
It’s Our Mission.
Cathy Lickteig, her brother Patrick Lickteig and Terry Ruebush
Since it didn't seem possible there would be much to see and do after all that tumult, we planned a quick, two-day visit to Zagreb, a stop-over on our way to other parts of Croatia. The arrival hall is large, the lighting dim, and the air full of the sweet scent of nearly 125 years of cleaned and polished wood benches, information desks and ticket counters. And yet, anything that today's traveler might need—coffee, fresh bread, bathrooms and cabs—is easy to find. Patrick, Terry and I followed the small crowd —best time to travel here is fall—out into the sun-drenched afternoon. One quick look around and we realized that this grand old train station anchors a beautiful part of the city center. Directly in front of us is a verdant tree-lined park called the Green Horseshoe. It's a U-shaped swath of paths, walkways, promenades and gardens that draw people, families and pets day and night. Lining the streets that border the Green Horseshoe are museums, office buildings, hotels, cafes, restaurants and embassies. Zagreb, the capitol of Croatia, is an important regional political and economic center and the country is a member of the European Union. This city of approximately 800,000 bustles with business people, government
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HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
Zagreb is a city for travelers of all ages.
officials and visitors from all over the world making for fascinating people watching. Just outside the train station is a major stop for the city's tram service. It's new, clean, efficient and a popular mode of transport for locals commuting to and from work and for visitors. We bought a ticket for an extended tram ride to get a sense of the layout of the city. There are no language problems for American tourists; English is spoken just about everywhere in Zagreb and throughout Croatia.
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After checking into our hotel, Patrick and Terry and I walked through Zrinjevac Park, the beautiful expanse that we had seen from the train station where the deciduous trees were losing their pale yellow leaves. Fall in Zagreb is pretty and subdued but it can't compare to the dramatic display of colors we see in Maine. Our destination was Jelacic Square, an attractive, expansive, clean and safe intersection of streets, hotels, shops, restaurants and outdoor cafes in the heart of Zagreb. We sensed energy and vitality here as young, well-dressed professionals zipped past us on their way to work, lunch or dinner. Jelacic Square is the location for 59 • MAINE SENIORS
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important activities, concerts, sporting events, protests and festivals. It's also where young and not-so-young lovers sit close together as the day turns into evening, as we found walking through the square after dinner one night. A 20-minute walk from Jelacic Square is Kaptol Square and the not-to-be-missed Cathedral of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Saintly Kings Stephen and Ladislav. Known simply as the Cathedral by locals, this Neo-Gothic structure is one of the most sacred places in Croatia, a devoutly Catholic country. The elaborate twin spires stretch 180 meters into the sky and can be seen from anywhere in the city. Opened in 1242, the Cathedral has survived weather, wars, fires, earthquakes and, as a result, some part of it is always being repaired. No worries, it's so grand and glorious and breathtaking —regardless of your religious beliefs — you won't even notice the areas closed off for restoration. When we emerged from the Cathedral, Patrick, Terry and I stopped for an espresso and pastry to absorb what we had experienced. Because there is so much to see in this huge church —ornate
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The Zagreb train station dates back to 1892 and trains are still an important form of transportation for locals and visitors.
WINTER 2017 • 6 0
HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
marble statues, numerous opulent altars, art of every kind, tributes to Pope Paul II's visit —we recommend spending time consulting a good tour book for details and then spend as much time as you can inside the Cathedral. For a change of scene, visit one of the many farmer's markets around Zagreb. You will find an impressive array of fresh flowers, fruits, vegetables, fish, and dairy products thanks to the extended growing season found in this Mediterranean climate. There are also open markets where you can buy crafts, clothing, honey and
This Page: The Cathedral sits high on a hill and is worth the walk.The interior is magnificent, so save time to enjoy it.
Scores of museums speak to Zagreb's cultural depth—including
the Mimara Art Museum with a large collection of pieces from the ancient
world through the 20th century.
61 • MAINE SENIORS
HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
more fabulous pastries. Visiting farmer's markets is a popular weekend activity in and around Zagreb. Scores of museums speak to Zagreb's cultural depth. There's the Mimara Art Museum with a large collection of pieces from the ancient world through the 20th century, the Museum of Contemporary Art, the Zagreb City Museum, the Archaeological Museum with its 400,000 artifacts from all over Croatia, to name just a few. One very unusual museum caught our attention; the Museum of Broken Relationships, a small gallery filled with sad stories and the artifacts that remain from those relationships. By the time we reach the age to be reading Maine Seniors Magazine, we've had our share of broken relationships, broken hearts, lost parents, lost homes. But I doubt many of us would consider putting our hurts in a museum for all to see; most Americans prefer to grieve privately. The curators, a couple whose relationship fell apart, collect true accounts of failed relationships, the narrative in the person's own words and an item reflective of what was lost. Each is mounted and hung in the small gallery. There are letters to parents
This is a statue of Trg bana Josipa Jelacic, the leader of Croatian independence and a national hero.
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HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE
This old cookie is all that remains of someone's broken relationship. It is part of the collection at the Museum of Broken Relationships (left).
Zagreb is old and young at the same time, humble and sophisticated, beautiful and fun. from a child who was left behind, a clothes pin representing all that the person has of his mother, broken and destroyed artifacts, and stories of rage and anger. Even though there are a few humorous exhibits, visitors are quiet and respectful and take time to read each story as they move through this sacred space. Those who wish, can add their names and stories to a huge book. The Museum of Broken Relationships is so popular that it has traveled to cities worldwide, and a new one opened in May 2016 in Los Angeles, CA. Zagreb is old and young at the same time, humble and sophisticated, beautiful and fun. Best of all the hordes of tourists haven't discovered this gem of a city. MSM 63 • MAINE SENIORS
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LOVE IS
Lovelier AFTER 50 BY CATHY GENTHNER
The siren song of a warm summer wind skipping off the waters of the Atlantic Ocean constituted their wedding march. The bow of their 37-foot Tartan sailboat named Galatea, (a female statue that came to life in a Greek Myth) served as the church altar from which they exchanged marriage vows.
T
he congregation of more than 40 friends and family leaned over the rails on DiMillo’s Marina to hear every word and witness the sacred, sealing kiss. This past summer on July 24, Corinne, 51 and Stash Zdanuk, 56 of Westbrook were married in a seafaring service on the salt water. They spent their honeymoon sailing out of Casco Bay to waters Down East, mooring at different harbors along the way.
“We bought a sailboat and got engaged around the same time. 65 • MAINE SENIORS
We decided to combine the wedding ceremony and celebration with our love of sailing,” said Corinne. “I believe that one of the advantages of marrying at an older age is that we both had gone out and ‘conquered the world’ and both came back to realize what is really important in life.” Both being older, they had experienced the challenges and disappointments that life can bring. But even with the tough times comes immense wisdom about oneself as well as relationships.
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“I believe that one of the
advantages of marrying at an older age is that we both had
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gone out and ‘conquered the world’ and both came back to
realize what is really important in life.” “There is the theory of the third love that rings true for me,” said Corinne. “The first love is the idealistic love that looks right to friends, family and society, but it never quite feels right. The second love is the hard love. It teaches us lessons, who we are, how we want and need to be loved. It hurts. Many get stuck here and relive the cycle of the second love over and over. The highs and lows keep up the level of drama we think we need. The third love we never see coming. It is the love that comes easily and doesn’t seem possible. We didn’t plan for it and it knocks us off our feet. Everything comes together and it just fits. It’s that love that show us why the others didn’t work out.” Stash and Corinne met when Corinne advertised for a roommate to help with expenses for the large farmhouse she owned in Westbrook. Stash was looking for a place to live, as he was going through a transitional period in his life – recently divorced and recently laid off from a job which he had held for 25 years. They started out as roommates and ended up as soul mates. “I responded to the ad, met Corinne and her dog and we had a nice conversation. I moved in a few days later,” said Stash.“Corinne and I didn’t start dating for a while but became friends very quickly. We started sharing the cooking for meals and then after dinner we would just sit and talk. She is an excellent cook! We talked a lot. Corinne’s a great listener and it was a time in my life when I needed that. Over a period of time, it became apparent that we simply enjoyed each other’s company. We were always talking or just enjoyed being in each other’s presence.” Dating for those 50 and older is certainly different from what it was when the same baby boomers were going out on their first dates in their teens and twenties. Back then, you had to meet someone in
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SPECIAL
person first, rather than chatting online. However, online romances have worked for many older people. In fact, there is an online dating website called“Our Time” specifically for those 50 and older. Mary of Kennebunk, 53 and a divorced mother of three, has been dating her partner for over three years. The two met on the dating website EHarmony. “He sent me a smile online, which I was hesitant to return. His profile listed all of his athletic endeavors and I am more of a movie/ book chick. However, I could tell that we both had a lot in common because we had children later in life, were both divorced and had strong faith,” said Mary. “So I sent him a smile back and we went through all of the get to know you steps of EHarmony. Within a week, we were emailing each other and then had our first date a week later at an outdoor concert.” However, dating online can have many drawbacks. People don’t always present a truthful picture of who they really are as well as their true intentions. “I do believe online dating works but there are scammers out there as well as many people who do not accurately represent themselves,” said Mary.“You have to be careful. Realize that although they may seem wonderful online, in person it may be a totally different story” Some safety advice for meeting online includes creating a new email address that does not contain your last name, meeting someone in a public place, such as a coffee shop and not divulging personal information (such as your address, or names of your children) until you’ve met the person several times. Dating can be more of a challenge for seniors. There aren’t a lot of single people out there as many people are married, unlike dating during those younger years when almost everyone was single. People who have been divorced one or more times before may feel hopeless about finding the right mate, or someone who is a widow or widower may be thinking that they will never find the love of their life again and that spouse can never be replaced, which is true. Because of these factors, sometimes it is nice to have a “friend in the business.” In fact, meeting someone through a friend may seem more personal and less intimidating than meeting someone online. That is why Noreen Rochester has been successful in her business in Portland. Rochester is the founder of Cara Matchmaking and the cost is $299 a year for unlimited introductions. Cara is the 67 • MAINE SENIORS
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Gaelic word for companion or soulmate. Rochester meets with everyone for two hours at the initial interview. During that time, she and the client talk about what they are looking for and what they don’t want. They go over photos and profiles of any potential matches. “I match people based on what each is looking for but mostly I match based on a gut feeling. Sometimes when a person comes in, I instantly know who the right person is for them. I think it’s about intuition and other times it is a process that we figure out together,” said Rochester. “I work with my clients face to face to determine their best attributes and whom their character will complement. Uncle Henry's Go Green section is a The benefits actuallyto viewing a person’ s mannerism, their and candor, great of way start finding ways as well as hearing to firsthand personal histories are materiels start about goingtheir green today! immense. majority of myaclients over 50.” YouThe will notice BIGare difference
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Blended families can be less of an issue because children of those
who are 50 and older have most likely left home or are close to doing so. Child support and shared custody are not issues anymore.
“For folks over 50 who are starting to date I would say first and foremost get to know yourself first. We all have baggage and we need to deal with those issues head-on before entering into a new relationship,” said Mary. “I did seek counseling for a full year following my divorce and took part in divorce care, a support group. Both helped me identify the relationship issues I was responsible for in my marriage and why I stayed in an unhealthy relationship
69 • MAINE SENIORS
for so long. You need to know yourself so you can set priorities of what you want in a partner and what will work for you in a relationship.” The struggles and triumphs in past relationships can give us a clearer view of what kind of relationship we want – whether casual, short or long term, someone as a friend or a spouse. Whatever we have gone through in the past, we can use that brokenness in a positive manner to know who we really want to spend time with. “My clients who are over 50 know how to navigate through life and have had more experiences with romance, thus I am given more to work with,” said Rochester.“I know more about what works for them and what doesn’t because they know. There is a candor that comes with age that I’ve learned to appreciate. There is also an appreciation and value set on finding true love from my clients over 50 that outweighs any social stigma around dating as you get older.” On a positive note, blended families can be less of an issue because
SPECIAL
Jack Burke, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in Scarborough, says there are three “Marriage Styles.” They are:
1. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. This is the early wild times of falling in love. It's most detectible on an MRI. 2. The business marriage. It's all about houses, kids, cars, and careers. In this marriage, it is easy to lose touch with each other. Most couples go to therapy in between this marriage style and number three (listed next). 3.The companionable romance. It’s what we treasure when we are older. We love doing things together. We can talk all day. We can drive to Caribou from Portland and never turn on the radio. Burke adds, “Love is Love. It doesn’t matter if we are eight or 80. In Helen Fisher’s book, Why We Love: The Nature of Chemistry of Romantic Love, she describes the visual reaction of the brain in love and there is no difference no matter what someone’s age is.”
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children of those who are 50 and older have most likely left home or are close to doing so. Child support and shared custody are not issues anymore. Financially, people in this age group are more likely to be financially secure. And climbing that career ladder is less important than achieving true peace and happiness. “The goals of career don’t drive and overtake my life anymore. I wanted a wife who didn’t mind me bugging her a dozen times a day just to say‘Hi.’ I wanted a continuation of the communication. The goals are different,” said Stash. “I’d much prefer to hike that small hill over there with my wife to share the view, rather than race to the top of the mountain because of the challenge.” For older couples it is not about winning the race, but finishing it together. MSM WINTER 2017 • 7 0
A Trail Less Traveled
Maine's Winter
STAGE
Creating Outdoor Memories with Your Grandchildren
What would the New Year be without at least one resolution? Being a reformed smoker,I have played this game many times and know it is usually destined for failure.
B
ut I’m suggesting a resolution that every consummate outdoors person, young or old, can accomplish. Take the time to introduce a young person to what the Maine outdoors has to offer in the winter.
Ice fishing is a great way to spend a winter day with grandkids. They love to be the first one slipping and sliding to a tripped flag, and hauling a keeper onto the ice doesn’t require any advanced angling skill. I’ve never been an avid ice fishermen but have friends who have all the gear; ice traps, augers, bait buckets and even heated ice shacks. But there’s an even easier approach. When the lakes froze over and the shacks started popping up, I’d take my two young daughters (and the obligatory golden retriever) to local 71 • MAINE SENIORS
STORY AND ARTWORK BY BRAD EDEN
ponds and lakes and we’d shuffle around to the various ice holes and shacks, meeting people and admiring any fish that were caught. Hopefully I will be a granddad someday and will do the same with my grandchildren. Another fascinating, child-friendly wintertime activity can be found soon after a fresh snowfall. There is an audible hush that comes over the land just after a storm, but give it a day, and all the denizens of the woodlands make their presence known. What just hours ago was a clean unbroken white blanket becomes a tapestry of bustling activity, where even the smallest backyard or woodlot becomes punctuated by animal wanderings. A curious youngster can be entranced by following a fox track to where its maker pounced on a mouse, or examining wing marks in the snow created by the flush of a ruffed grouse. I taught my girls to keep their eyes out for the distinctive paddle prints left by a snowshoe hare, also known as a varying hare. They would patiently follow
A Trail Less Traveled
When the lakes froze over and the shacks started popping up,
I’d take my two young daughters
(and the obligatory golden retriever) to local ponds and lakes and we’d shuffle around to the various ice holes and shacks, meeting people and admiring any fish
that were caught.
in its tracks in hopes of seeing this fascinating creature who sports a brown coat all summer, yet magically turns snowy white during winter. Add to that, the shadow of a swooping owl overhead and you have the makings of an unforgettable wintertime outing.
Following a deer track can reveal a whole new world. A tumbledown stonewall where the tracks cross whispers the tale of a reclaimed pasture, replete with rusty barbed wire embedded inches deep in a pine trunk. Maybe if you are stealthy enough (unlikely with an inquisitive child), you might even “jump” the deer and watch its flagging tail wave a hasty goodbye. You may get lucky and find an antler shed, likely an older one half buried in leaves and snow. Although chewed by mice and porcupines for its calcium, it will certainly take its place on a child’s shelf to memorialize a special day spent in the winter woods. All this with no worries about getting lost–just follow your own tracks back! If you search hard enough, wintertime’s outdoor stage contains as much drama as any video game or television show. Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking the time to see it fresh in the eyes of a child. MSM
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WINTER 2017 • 7 2
Warm Up
with TWO TAKES on COLD WEATHER CLASSICS BY FIA MARQUIS
Every Mainer has his or her own experience of winter. Some people embark on seasonal adventure on the ski slopes or bundle up in a shack on the river to ice fish, some take pleasure in ice skating or sledding, many spend as much time indoors as possible, and some people even escape to warmer climes.
L
acking the budget to do the latter, I seek my refuge in the kitchen—baking and roasting and stewing things to nourish my family, but also my spirit.
I was born in Maine, and I’ve lived here all my life, but winter and I are not exactly on what you’d call speaking terms. Still, I can’t imagine living anywhere else, and as much as I loathe the snow when it’s time to shovel our driveway, let alone after it’s turned gray at the edges from the sand and road salt, there’s a magic in the falling flakes and in waking to a world covered in a heavy blanket of pure white that calls back to my childhood, when a forecast of snow meant the promise of staying home from school on a weekday and
73 • MAINE SENIORS
bundling up to play outside. As an adult, I begin to understand why my late father would often comment that‘snow’ is a four letter word. Winter in Maine is long and cold, even at its mildest, and at times it can seem as if you’ll never remember what ‘warm’ feels like again. On those days, it takes a hearty, stick-to-your-ribs meal to thaw you from the inside out. We all have our own go-to comfort foods to shake the ache and chill from our bones, but by the time the January thaw has come and gone and we’re dreading the roar of the lion of March, it can all get a little… tired. If you’re climbing the walls and dreading one more chili, beef stew, chicken pot pie or macaroni and cheese, I highly recommend that you find your way to a butcher shop or indoor farmer’s market and buy something out KITCHEN TIP: Whenever I cook anything with bones and skin that I’m not using, I toss them in a baggie in the freezer (or fridge, if they’re getting used up soon.) If I’m making a big batch, I’ll throw in all the usual aromatics — garlic, onion, carrot, celery, bay, etc.
But safe doesn’t mean boring,
when it comes to curry. The only limitations are your own imagination, and your
tolerance for capsaicin.
of the ordinary. That’s how we ended up experimenting with goat. The first time we tried goat, we were still living in Bangor, and, seeking to break up the monotony of our menu, we took a day trip to Portland to expand our culinary horizon a bit. We ended up finding the indoor farmer’s market, which at the time was being held in the hall of the Irish Heritage Center. We spent a great deal of time wandering from vendor to vendor, sampling wares and purchasing small items, in search of something we couldn’t quite put our fingers on. The luxury and novelty of fresh, locally-grown salad greens before the spring thaw was heady, but ultimately it
was the meat that caught our attention. This market had a variety that, if it was available in our area at the time, we hadn’t found it yet. I’d only had rabbit perhaps one other time at a friend’s farm, and neither of us had ever tried goat, so we allowed ourselves to be seduced by these exotic-sounding proteins. Then we got our purchases home, and I realized that not only had I never eaten goat before, I’d certainly never cooked it. The farmer we’d purchased the goat from had suggested curry, and since we both enjoy curry containing other meats, such as chicken and lamb, it did seem like the safest bet. But safe doesn’t mean boring, when it comes to curry. The only limitations are your own imagination, and your tolerance for capsaicin. Rabbit, it turns out, takes much longer to roast than I had anticipated, so we ended up going with a backup plan that night (which might actually have been leftover goat curry) and using the rabbit the next day for a delicious stew, served over biscuits; ultimately it was well worth the wait. I’ve rarely been disappointed by stepping outside of our ordinary meal repertoire to keep our meals interesting, and to keep myself excited about preparing them throughout the dreary winter months. MSM
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WINTER 2017 • 7 4
Featured Recipes CURRIED GOAT INGREDIENTS:
ROASTED RABBIT STEW INGREDIENTS:
1 roasted rabbit (or most of one) and pan juices potatoes and carrots 4 cups chicken stock 4-6 slices of bacon, chopped 1 onion, chopped 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes 1-2 cups red wine
1.5 lb goat shoulder roast, bone-in 1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes 2 13.5 oz cans coconut milk 1/2 cups curry powder 1 Fresno chile, minced (with seeds) 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 lb potatoes, cubed 1 large onion, chopped 3-5 carrots, sliced 1 cups frozen peas 4 cups beef stock/broth
DIRECTIONS: 1. In a large stock pot, place goat, onion, garlic and broth. 2. Bring to a boil, add tomatoes, coconut milk, curry powder and chiles and reduce to a simmer. 3. When goat is tender and falling off the bone, remove from broth and allow to cool enough to pick meat from the bone and return it to the pot.
DIRECTIONS:
4. At this time, add potatoes and carrots; when these are softened, add frozen peas.
1. In a large pot, cook roasted rabbit in chicken stock until falling off the bone.
5. When the peas are thawed and warmed through, serve on top of cooked jasmine rice—and enjoy!
2. Remove from stock, strain and pick carcass, adding all meat back in. Follow with crushed tomatoes and red wine. 3. In a skillet, render chopped bacon until it begins to become crispy. Add onion and garlic and soften, then add to the stew pot. 4. Reduce until thick and rich; add potatoes and carrots. 5. Serve over biscuits—and enjoy!
75 • MAINE SENIORS
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FROM THE PORCH
Life's BOOK BY HUNTER HOWE
With the temporary security blanket and bright glow of the holidays behind, we face the chill and cold and lingering darkness of winter woe confining us in dirty white, burnt toast brown, raven black, and iron gray colors.
W
When home is best, choose the best in home care.
e find ourselves once again in the grip of the human struggle and the unpredictability of what’s to come in the new year.
January broods. Time holds us in slow motion, a seasonal speed bump. We’re homebound; we hibernate. British poet Edith Sitwell said,“Winter is a time for comfort—it’s a time for home.” Comfort is the upside but with too much time on our hands, we tend to look inward more, our thought bubbles flying all over our internal landscape, percolating and festering. We feel uneasy. Questions abound. The road ahead is unclear. We wish we could embrace Robert Goulet’s lyrics,“On a clear day you can see forever,” but we can’t. Uncertainty reigns.
We pop too many prunes. That said, many pragmatists and optimists regard January as a departure point, another chance, another opportunity, another beginning. 77 • MAINE SENIORS
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FROM THE PORCH
Plato said, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.”
Yet, we’re aware of the perils to come —stepping on bubble gum, slipping on banana peels, swiping away vinegary insults.
There’s an old saying,“All new beginnings start in the dark.” Instinctively, we cling to the metaphor of sweeping away the ashes in the chimney and lighting a new fire. Flipping a mental switch. But, it’s hard to start over, to commit to an untried direction. Plato said,“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Yet, we’re aware of the perils to come—stepping on bubble gum, slipping on banana peels, swiping away vinegary insults.
I think about two explorers setting out into uncharted territories. One asks,“Are you scared?” The other responds,“No, I feel alive.” As a writer, I’m reminded of the similarities between confronting another year and penning a book. Both have beginnings, middles, and ends. Most books are about people crashing through life, striving to find their way, overcoming obstacles, wading through the many what ifs, seeking change and transformation. Like contractors building a house, writers build stories. And like all of us in January, the writer must begin somewhere. Books on writing encourage the act of putting the fanny to the chair and scratching the paper every day, that one page a day equals 365 pages in a year, a draft completed, a goal achieved. Imagine, a goal achieved started by one word, then another … one step, then another … Writers learn that to keep readers interested their main character must act to make something happen. Notice the word “act” in the word charACTer. It’s an intellectual, emotional, psychological, and physical collaboration of motivated action.
WINTER 2017 • 7 8
FROM THE PORCH
Along the journey, the character deals with many questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. At some point, he makes a critical decision, to remain on the conveyor belt carrying him along or to jump off and take control of his life. And so each year, we open up our own life’s book. Like a professional golfer stepping back in the tee box attempting to visualize her shot, we try to see down the fairway. Days (sentences), turn to weeks (pages), turn to months (chapters), turn to December (book). We build our own story. Word carpentry. Life building. T.S. Eliot said, For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. Our past influences many of the decisions we make. In writing, it’s called backstory. Some say, let go of the past. But how can we? The contractor pours the foundation that supports the house. Our past props up our life story in the same way. We build on the past. We’re rooted by many emotional memories, hopefully more good than bad. Cary Grant, In An Affair to Remember, said, “It can be difficult in winter for those without warm memories.” Emotion is the core to our stories. Each year, we must test the emotional weather. Like a Maine sailor navigating rough seas, we need to chart a steady course, the best we can. No emotion, no character, no story, no life’s book. Conflict’s another key ingredient in the writer’s stew and our life. We encounter dilemmas, surprises, and challenges spiced up with an emotional potpourri of fear, angst, love, heartbreak, doubt, sorrow, grief, anger, among others. Conflict creates tension between our internal and external lives. This tension stretches us to the breaking point, like a rubber band about to snap. Successful writers strive for a satisfying ending. I must admit, that for a long time, that I struggled with this concept. A satisfying ending? I thought of Peggy Lee singing, “Is that all there is?” I suppose not everyone can proclaim they’ve had a great life. When I’m on my death bed, look back, and realize that I’ve found a
79 • MAINE SENIORS
measure of meaning and happiness, perhaps I’ll understand the phrase, a satisfying ending to a satisfying life. Something to ponder. Hey, if you’re reading this, you ain’t dead yet. It’s January. Here’s to the act of exploring the months ahead, adding new chapters to your life’s book. It won’t be easy. Old friend Edgar A. Guest, with his homespun clarity, put it this way, Just keep on tryin’ an’ workin’ on, Only thing a man to do, Is take the loss an’ begin anew. For it’s how life is an’ the way things are That you’ve got to face if you travel far; An’ the stories will come an’ the failures too, An’ the plans go wrong spite all you do; An’ the only thing that will help you win, Is the grit of a man and a stern set chin. Remember this, you’re the author of your life’s book
MSM
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We use one of Maine’s greatest renewable resources to make the energy efficient wood pellets that keep Mainers comfortable in the colder months. We rely on good equipment, great people, and valuable partnerships to make that happen. Varney Agency is an extremely valuable partner. They took the time to learn about our business, and they’re always watching out for our interests. I know they’ve got my back. Varney Agency helps protect what’s important to me and my business. DENIS CARRIER President, Corinth Pellets Corinth, Maine
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