Village voice oct 17 by jenny stuart

Malden’s

illage oice

KT3’s ONLY FREE Independent Community Magazine and Business Guide October ‘17 Issue 144

WWW.NMVV.CO.UK

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BOOK NOW! 16 The Triangle Norbiton, Surrey KT1 3RT Tel 020 3034 2424 Email info@yourwillow.co.uk Web yourwillow.co.uk 1. We’d love to help organise your Christmas celebrations! Pop in, drop us a line or give us a call to start the ball rolling. We will help with all the boring bits, to make sure you have as little to do as possible. 2. Due to the busy time of year it’s important we know which parties are definitely confirmed, so a 25% deposit of the food bill is required in order to secure your reservation. 3. Please remember to bring 3 advertise email or are callnon-refundable. 020 8336 2915 your deposit receiptTo with you on the day –jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk makes life a lot easier! 4. Sorry, deposits 5. All prices are VAT included. 6. A discretionary charge of 12.5% will be added to your bill, all of which goes to the team.

October Contents

History by Robin Gill 6 Recipe - Chocolate and Orange Pudding 12 Events - Just Deserts 14 Malden Centre Team DropIn!! 16 Cooking with Elida 20 CrypticCrossword 22 You’re never alone with a book club 24 View from the City 26 The McSweeney Kings 28 Sudokus 30 Recipe Beef And Pepper Stroganoff 34 You Can’t Out Train a Bad Diet 36 Government Schemes for First-Time Buyers and Existing Homeownes 40 Gardening 42 Clubs 44 New Malden Matters 48 Codeword 50 Kid’s play 52 Parkin’ some thoughts 56 A Photographer Dreams 58 Solutions 60 Royal British Legion Malden & Coombe Branch 61

Published by Malden Media Ltd Editor Jenny Stuart jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk 020 8336 2915 www.maldenmedia.co.uk 36 Rosebery Avenue KT3 4JS

Please note that the opinions expressed in this magazine do not necessarily represent the views of the editor. All advertisements are commercial and not indicative of any endorsement by the editor who accepts no responsibility for any loss suffered directly or indirectly by any reader as a result of any advertisement or notice published in this magazine. All in-house artwork and editorial presented in this magazine remains the copyright of Malden Media Ltd. No part of this magazine may be reproduced, stored on any retieval system, or transmitted in any form - electronic, mechanical. recording, photocopying, or otherwise without prior permission from the Publisher.

Welcome to Your Village Voice After many trouble free years I’ve had a complete nightmare this month with technology. I’d treated myself to a new laptop in March to replace my increasingly slow one which despite a recent rebuild was struggling to wake up each day. A few weeks ago I finally got around to dealing with the issue that the sound didn’t work on the new one. This involved moving all 650GB of data back onto a portable hard drive, attempting a reset (didn’t work) then being treated like a complete idiot in a well known PC retailer before handing it over for repair. So I then had to buy a replacement (from a different retailer) to get me through the week and deadline. Yesterday I switched it on, entered the password, then nothing. Nothing. Black screen which I stared at with disbelief and horror wondering where my plan C was going to come from. 7 minutes later as the panic was setting in it sprung to life (a Windows 10 glitch apparently) but my tip of the month is make sure all your files are backed up regularly, or even better (my next job) store them in a virtual cloud which you can access from anywhere. Even brand new technology isn’t 100% reliable and we are all so reliant and as a result, so vulnerable.

Anyway, remember that the Village Voice is YOUR magazine so if you are helping to organise an event and would like some FREE publicity then please do email details. Likewise if you are part of an organisation that could benefit from attracting new local members next year then why not send in an article. Did you know that in order to deliver the magazine to most of the KT3 postcode, we split the distribution over a two month period. So if you have had this edition delivered you probably won’t get the January one. There are a limited number of copies available from Waitrose, New Malden library, Tudor Willams and the Malden Centre but don’t forget that it is also published online you can get the link from our website. So, until next month, best wishes

Jenny

Jenny Stuart, Editor & publisher P.S. Please remember to mention the Village Voice when replying to adverts, and get in touch by 17th of October if you’d like your business, Club or event to feature in the November edition(s).

Also publishing Worcester Park Life

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New Malden History Malden Miscellaneous 2 by Robin Gill Those of you who have been reading the Village Voice for some time may remember an article I wrote back in June 2013. These were a number of short stories which didn’t seem to “fit” anywhere else, and were produced under the heading “Malden Miscellaneous”. These included Charles Haffenden and the Ladies of Rutland Lodge, and his subsequent adventures guarding the fountain. The Reverend and the bird cages, the romantic poisoning, and the Malden men and their cow catcher. Four years on, there are some other stories which I hope you find interesting: How many of you have worked in Malden, maybe in a retail outlet? I volunteer for Barnardos in the High Street (67), this is the former home of Sandy’s menswear. Sandy’s was opened by Edward Sandy in 1955, and was succeeded as manager by his son Patrick. It closed down in 2011 after 56 years, and the site was acquired by Barnardos.

We want to work together Almost diagonally opposite Barnardos on the other side of the road is Peacocks a discount clothing store. If you look above the store frontage, you will see the date “1921” the year that particular section of the High Street was constructed. The first occupants were John Joseph Sisley (Confectioner) and John Sainsbury (Sainsburys) in 1922, who were joined the following year by the London Joint City and Midland Bank (forerunner of HSBC) on the corner of King’s Avenue. Contrary to popular belief Sainsburys was not the first national firm of grocers to open in New Malden. Already established were the International Tea Company, and the Home and Colonial Stores, but Sainsburys were the first who are still trading under their own name. The first Sainsbury’s opened in Drury Lane London in 1869 and so was a bit late coming to Malden over 50 years later. In 1928 when James (the original Sainsbury) died, Malden was one of 128 stores. His last words supposedly were “Keep the shops well lit”. Sainsbury’s are Britain’s second oldest food retailer after the Co-Op.

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James left an estate with a value of over a million pounds, so his immediate family were well off. This included his grandson Cecil John Sainsbury aged 21 in 1928 who married Hilda Grace Plumridge aged 20 at St Andrew’s Church Totteridge in September. Hilda lived with her parents in Grafton Road, and worked in the cashier’s department at Sainsbury’s in New Malden joining in 1925 aged 17. Her father Jesse worked for the War Office. When the grocers opened, a large number of employees were recruited from the local area. Hilda wasR.J. born Tree in NewServices Malden and qualified christened & professional R.J. Tree qualified & profession staffServices are dedicated at Christ Church, she left school at fourteen to work in to the highest levels of service in every theGrafton highest of service in every instance. London, but ofto course Roadlevels would have been only a few hundred yards away from the store, and attracted by her athletic prowess asqueries. sheadvice had won–many We are happy to give on all you more convenient. We are happy to give advice – on all your arboricultural awards in hockey and tennis. They were engaged in April, and Hilda’s sister Evelynn acted as one of the According to Hilda’s mother, Cecil idolised her. She • Free quotes Free quotesbridesmaids. remembered him arriving in his car to ask•permission re dedicated to marry her. He visited the house many times, and • Fully NPTC qualifie • Fully NPTCThe qualified honeymoon was spent at Windermere in the Lake spent several hours with them. As Hilda was under District,/before the couple live inreductions Finchley /c • marriage, Tree reductions crown thinsreturned• toTree 21 her father had to give permission for the in a road dubbed by locals as Millionaires’ Row. They he was happy to do, but did not attend the ulturalwhich queries. • Tree felling • Tree fellinghad one son Kenneth born in 1929, and a daughter ceremony “because like most men he hates weddings” Judith in 1937, and when Cecil died 1998 aged 90 • inStump removal • Stump removal said Mrs Plumridge. he left over £1 million. • Hedgeworks • Hedgeworks The couple met at a dance on a firm’sR.J. outing in Services qualified & professional staff are dedicated Tree • Tree surveys & rep • Cecil Tree 1926, and it was a case of love at first sight. wassurveys & reports

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range of products being carried and increased the amount of advertising taken out.

Cannings can Currently for sale via a well-known internet auction site is a postcard depicting a cherub dressed in army uniform. The card dated September 1915 is for Master Willie A Butchart of Kings Avenue from his daddy (also called William) who was serving in the army with the Royal Field Artillery. In the card, he wished his son a happy birthday (12th August) and hopes to be home soon to give him rides around the garden (we shall have a nice time!). He was true to his word, as by the middle of 1916 William had a baby brother Norman.

For springtime, he carried a range of folding chairs (@4/11) and stools (@3/11) in four colours “ideal for picnicking” together with a range of cups, straws, and plates.

Our main interest in this card is that the recipient Willie became the second proprietor of Cannings in the High Street. By the end of March 1936, Cannings was under new management as the new proprietor took over from the original owners Mr and Mrs Wilfred Wiles. Mrs Wiles maiden name was Cannings which was why the shop was so called. Promising personal supervision, William guaranteed good service and customer satisfaction. He set about enlarging the

The shop also started selling cigarettes and magazines on a regular basis as well as toys, gifts and stationery, also offering the printing service and lending library. In July, the shop started carrying greeting cards and postcards, either a local view (Cannings produced their own range of 15 cards now keenly sort after by collectors) or a “good clean comic card”. Cannings started carrying knitting patterns later in the summer, again promising any patterns ordered by customers would be ready the following day. They were also quick to establish a Christmas Club enabling customers to order items for the festive season.

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The printing side was also extended to include personalised stationery including wedding and mourning items, also Christmas cards personalised with your name and address.

was abusive resulting in the court case, after which the reverend gentleman was struck in the mouth by the defendant who was fined £1 3/6.

Two months later Cotton was charged with being drunk and disorderly in Grafton Road where he was living at the time. The priest was carrying a walking stick, and threatened to “beat the brains out” of anybody who came near him. He was surrounded by a great crowd of people watching what he was doing, and was approached by Acting Police Sergeant William Brooker of Chestnut Grove who asked him to leave the area quietly, which Cotton refused to do, and was Mr Butchart sold the shop to Mrs Ethel Edwards, who therefore arrested and held overnight at the police traded there from January 1940 being joined by her station in Kingston (there was no station at Malden). son Norman in 1949. PC Charles Massey confirmed everything his superior officer had said, and added that Cotton had fallen over Cotton tale once or twice chasing some boys who were provoking The Reverend Nathaniel Cotton was an eccentric him. character who arrived in New Malden in 1882.He ' P U T Y O U R G A R D E N M A I N T E N A N C E I N T H S O FhadSbeen O Mobserved E O N Eearlier W Hthat O morning REALLY CARES seems to have been heavily involved in court casesH A N DCotton during his short stay in our area. The first of these was walking around” like a deranged man”. He had been with William Batchelor who lived near the railway creating disturbance for most of thesurgery day, and had - Tree - One off aTidy station. Batchelor started an argument at the station even broken down the door of his house so he could - Stump Grinding - Garden Maintenance accusing Cotton of owing him money which Cotton take his pony indoors. Afterwards galloping around - Strimming and Weeding - Decking Lawns denied. They travelled to Surbiton on the train without a and saddle or bridle. Cotton’s defence was that together still arguing. The language used by Batchelor - Hedge he recently bought the horse,-and wantedclearance to groom Garden Trimming - Path and Patio Washing - Landscaping The toy range was built up for Christmas, promising gifts “to delight any boy or girl. Toys that it will give you pleasure to buy”. So, the first Christmas at Cannings was a success with increased sales of all items, including crackers, gift boxes of doyleys, stationery cabinets, fountain pens, diaries, and albums.

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him. To avoid being watched by a crowd he took the animal into his front parlour to complete the process. The court was informed, that previously, the reverend had attempted to ride his horse up the steps to the platforms at the railway station. Neighbours complained that Cotton frequently came out of his house at 3 or 4 in the morning accompanied by a barking dog. Cotton claimed that this was in order to clean the road. He was fined £2 19/6. A couple of months later he appeared at Wandsworth charged as being drunk in a public street at Wimbledon and behaving in an eccentric manner causing a crowd to assemble. He had also been riding a horse bare-back He promised not to repeat the episode and was discharged. The following week he was fined 23/6 at Kingston for allowing his horse to stray in Coombe Road. The priest did not turn up for the hearing, and hadn’t paid the previous fines charged to him. Two weeks later he was charged with being drunk and disorderly lying across the footpath and shouting, he was fined 10/-. In December, he was fined £3 for carrying a revolver without a licence. He was drunk in the Market Place, and on being approached by the police handed the

gun over. He had still not paid previous fines, and did not turn up for the court appearance. Fortunately for the local police and magistrates, Cotton moved to Oxfordshire where he immediately carried on his drunken exploits. Before we are quick to condemn, records show that Nathaniel Cotton was admitted to the Laverstock Asylum on 31st October 1890, he died there on 13th January 1892 aged 70, described as a lunatic.

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Keep your memories shining bright, help us light up the sky with love

Light up a life Service on Sunday 3rd December at 4.30pm

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Cake and Bake Chocolate and Orange Puddings Chocolate and orange are perfect flavour partners and these lovely individual puddings taste delicious served warm with custard or cream.

Ingredients: • 3 small clementines or satsumas, thinly sliced • 175g unsalted butter, softened, plus extra for greasing • 175g caster sugar • 3 large eggs, beaten • 125g self-raising flour • 50g cocoa powder, sifted • 1 tbsp fresh orange juice • 2 tsp orange zest • Custard or cream, to serve

Makes 6 Ready in 1 hours 30 mins

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You can cook the puddings a few hours before serving then simply re-heat in the microwave. Turn out onto a microwave plate and reheat three at a time on High for 30-45 seconds. 12

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C, fan 160°C, gas mark 4. Butter and line the bases of 6 x 175ml metal pudding basins with circles of baking parchment. Place a slice of clementine or satsuma in the base of each basin and press 2-3 slices around the sides. 2. Put the butter and sugar in a bowl and, using an electric mixer, beat until pale and fluffy. Gradually beat in the eggs then sift over the flour and cocoa powder and fold into the creamed mixture with the orange juice and zest. 3. Divide the mixture between the pudding basins and cover each with a square of pleated, buttered foil, scrunching it tightly around the sides of each basin. Transfer to a roasting tin and pour in enough boiling water from a kettle to reach halfway up the sides of the basins. 4. Bake for 1 hour, until the puddings have risen and are firm to the touch, and a skewer inserted through the foil of one of the puddings comes out clean. Turn out and serve with custard or cream.

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Events Just Deserts On Saturday 14th October Christ Church New Malden is holding a fundraising event for a fantastic charity that a number of our congregation are involved in called the “Lunchbowl Network”. The Lunchbowl Network was set up in 2006 in response to the plight of orphaned and vulnerable children living in Kibera, Nairobi. These children endure the harsh reality of life in Kibera including lack of access to clean water, very poor sanitation and an inadequate education which means they are severely disadvantaged. The charity provides funding for the Saturday Dinner Programme for 350 orphaned and vulnerable children. As well as the dinner programme, the charity holds a Sunday Rugby Church for 200 boys and girls, provides a teenage rescue programme for just under 30 and has opened two Angel Kindergartens which 185 hundred children aged between 3 and 8 attend. As well as a quality early years education the children are provided with breakfast and two nutritious meals a day.

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Please come along, help bring lasting change to disadvantaged children and have some fun! The event is for ladies only and being held at Christ Church New Malden, 91 Coombe Road (KT3 4RE) at 7.00-10.30pm. It will be a great evening of puddings, entertainment and opportunities to buy in aid of the charity. Admission is by ticket only £5. Contact Becky Mills for tickets at beckymmills@ blueyonder.co.uk

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Fundraising Malden Centre Team Drop In!! by Sue Wilson When Emma Holloway came to a Malden Centre Line Managers meeting earlier this year, we did not realise it would lead to 10 of us stepping off a building on a cloudy September morning – but that is exactly what we did on Saturday Sept 16th, from 150ft up!. This year the Malden Centre is supporting local New Malden Mum; Emma Holloway and St George’s Neuro Appeal to help fund the purchase of an MEP machine. This machine was vital when Emma was diagnosed with a rare cancer called Chordoma and needed emergency surgery. Unfortunately St George’s currently have to hire this machine and would like to purchase one as soon as possible. The machine will help to treat other Chordoma sufferers and anyone with spinal injuries, but it costs approx. £30,000. Emma came to our meeting to tell us about her experience and why this machine is so important to the Neuro Department. At the end of her presentation we were all unanimous in our desire to get involved. St George’s already had the abseiling day organised and when I asked my colleagues for volunteers I quickly filled all of our slots. Sponsorship for the event went well and we were delighted by the generosity of our friends, family and colleagues. The big day approached and with trepidation we met at St George’s and looked up at this tall, tall building………. Mind you it looked worse when we got to the top and were asked to sit with a leg dangling over the edge! The worst part of any abseil is not the kitting up, the nervous chat or the view from the top, it is that moment when you are asked to lean out into fresh air with a couple of thin ropes between you and the far distant concrete! With many a squeal, sharp intake of breath and the odd

naughty word – we all made it to the bottom in great style and with huge grins plastered across our faces stepped onto solid ground once again. Well done to Reece, Alex, Meena, Becky, Courtney, Nicola, Jackie, Megan and Jess – we’ve so far raised over £1600 and more money is coming in. If you want to donate then please visit www.justgiving.com/fundraising/malden-centre Watch out for more fundraising events, especially the raffle at the Malden Centre 30th Anniversary event on 25th November 2017. Thank you to Michael Harrison from the Malden Camera Club for taking all of the wonderful photos.

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20/09/2017 14:06

Cake Angel Apple Banana Carrot Cheese Christmas Cream Cup Dundee

Eccles Fruit Fudge Ginger Layer Lemon Madeira Marble

Mocha Orange Panettone Polenta Red velvet Simnel Tiramisu Wedding

Find the names of cakes in the grid and the remaining letters will spell out a related phrase

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Cooking with Elida

used it in my crumble though as I much prefer the blackberries!

Summer is nearly over and with autumn finally approaching it is time for comfy food, yummy stews, hot puddings, mouth-watering Sunday roasts… I have a good selection of autumn/winter recipes at www. elidafamilydinners.blogspot.co.uk . For now, I thought I could share this very traditional, easy and absolutely delicious apple and blackberry crumble recipe, perfect for this time of the year!

Ingredients: 4 big cooking apples (from your tree! - peeled and chopped) A handful of blackberries Mix the fruit with 4 tbsp demerara sugar into an oven proof dish.

If you happen to have an apple tree at the back of your garden like I do, make the most of it!!

For the crumble: 200g plain flour 110 light brown sugar 110 cold butter 1 tbsp cinnamon (optional)

I usually make cakes, pies and crumbles with our apples and my husband has attempted a couple of times in the past to make cider, but that’s for another post. This recipe is so incredibly easy and everyone loves it! Try it and you won’t regret! The figs on the picture are from my neighbour’s. It hangs over our fence... so I guess it’s ours too! I haven’t

Mix the crumble ingredients with your fingertips and cover the fruit with it. Bake it in a pre-heated oven 180C for 45 minutes. Serve it warm with thick cream! Yummy!!!

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Cryptic Crossword Across 1. Count on plutonium only (6) 4. Sentry drove Neil mad! (8) 9. Trial last short judge misses (6) 10. Endless drama with bone upset dog (8) 12. Beds a bad actor derides (8) 13. Claim lock ain’t opening the wrong way (6) 15. Seldom encountered in disaster areas (4) 16. Ghastly raincoat Reba ruined (7) 20. Advice on clue’s construction (7)

21. Figure in the place Down 1. Cut up tough fish (8) of 1000 (4) 2. A mountain of mugs? 25. Do seas churn at (8) this port? (6) 3. “Hide an airbed” heard 26. Notorious oaf (3,3) (minus bust) (8) 5. 28. Perfectly fine when none are left (3,5) 6. 29. State, sad to say, with okay 7. residents (6)

Observation about a school (4) Pruned tree with a certain value (8) Unfeeling monarch could be one (6)

30. Widows left to complete bets (8)

8. A piece left Ghent, oddly (6)

31. Extremely narrow lane to dell (6)

11. British drizzle reaching second country (7)

14. A loner’s renovated city (7) 17. Really hot organist put out (8) 18. Massive shortfall covered by fuel (8) 19. Envoy revolting miser, say (8) 22. Raw cod turning chicken! (6) 23. Guy took a tumble – ouch! (6) 24. Girl after a secretary is a dish (6) 27. Burn the end off an amulet (4)

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216 Kingston Road, New Malden KT3 3RJ

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A DELIGHTFUL CULINARY ADVENTURE AT MOKSHA, NEW MALDEN If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already know, a wonderful new Indian restaurant is open in New Malden. The food, presentation styles and service are all getting rave reviews from residents and people travelling from further afield alike. The decor is modern and very pleasant and they serve traditional Indian food with really modern presentation styles.

Please book your Christmas party with Moksha and get a glass of bubbly for each guest in the group (minimum 8 guests) Visit our website for more information. www.moksharestaurant.uk

I thoroughly enjoyed the soft-shell crab which was cooked to perfection, the pickling chicken tikka was out of this world; what was so good to see that chef created a delicious vegetarian main course which is a jackfruit kofta curry! If I lived anywhere near Moksha, I would visit this jewel in the crown of Indian food every week! - Mridula Baljekar

To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

Hobbies You’re never alone with a book club By Kate McLelland Who said reading was a solitary occupation? These days, thanks to the popularity of book clubs, you’ll find book lovers throughout the world coming together to socialise and share their views. And avid readers who can’t meet face-to-face will find plenty of online platforms where they can discuss the books they have enjoyed with others. The main objective of a book club is to invite a group of people to read a novel or work of nonfiction in their own time and then come together in a social setting in order to discuss it. Some book clubs meet in group members’ homes - where food and drink matching a book’s theme is often served - while others meet in libraries, pubs or community centres. These gatherings are usually informal in nature, with few set rules, although limits may be set on the time allowed for conversations that are not related to books! A history of book clubs Although it’s hard to pin down the actual date when book clubs emerged, it has been suggested that the trend really began in the USA in 1996, when TV personality Oprah Winfrey added a book club segment to her hugely popular TV show. Eight years later presenters Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan - the hosts of a similar, magazine-style British TV programme - decided to launch their own book club. It immediately captured the imagination of UK audiences, pushing sales of books reviewed from thousands of copies to millions, virtually overnight. Today it is estimated that there are over 50,000 book clubs in Great Britain. Joining up Many clubs are set up by word of mouth, so you could ask friends, family or work colleagues if they know of any groups operating locally. Your local library can also be a good source of information. If your library doesn’t already run its own club, it may provide space for an independent group to 24

meet, or carry a list of book clubs operating in the area. Websites such as readinggroups.org or mybookclub.com also carry lists of local groups you can join. Starting your own book club If you’ve researched your area and found that there are no groups that meet your needs, you could always set up your own club. Here are a few ideas to get you started: Choose what type of book club you’d like to run. Should it be seriously academic, or light and frivolous? The answer may depend on the type of people who will be attracted to join: their ages, gender and areas of interest. Decide how many people should be invited as members. A group of between 8 and 16 is a comfortable size, allowing you to continue even if several members are absent. If the group is larger than that, conversations can become harder to moderate. Think about when and how often the club should get together. Meeting on a monthly or six-weekly basis works well for most people and gives time for books to be read. It is best if the timing of meetings is agreed through discussions with other members, in order to accommodate their work or childcare commitments. Once you’ve decided on a schedule that works well for the group, try to stick with it. An ideal length for each meeting is two to two and a half hours, allowing plenty of time to discuss the book, but also including time for summing up, setting reading tasks and socialising.

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There are many different ways to keep in touch with members but the quickest and most efficient way to communicate is via email or social media. Set up a Facebook group for your club or sign up to the website bookmovement.com, which lets you set up a private book club page to keep track of book selections, send out meeting invitations and track acceptances. Here are some dos and don’ts for holding successful meetings: DO choose two or three books at a time so members can read at their own pace. Don’t get locked into a 12-month programme of book choices as you’ll miss out on the chance to introduce new and exciting books that you hear about. DON’T keeping reading the same type of book. Variety is key to keeping your group engaged, so try interspersing fiction with non-fiction books, including poetry, history or biography.

DO try selecting books by theme: focusing on a specific author or choosing particular genres such as childhood memoirs, detective thrillers or books on food. DON’T give in to someone who begs the group to read their favourite novel. Adverse criticism can lead to hurt feelings, so it’s best to stay on neutral ground. In addition to all the pleasure you’ll get from reading and discussing a wide range of books, by joining or starting up a book club you will also enjoy linked activities such as visits to literary festivals, meeting local authors or trips to the cinema to see the film version of a book you’ve read. It’s the perfect activity for socially-inclined book lovers. If you ever thought reading was a lonely pastime, there’s no doubt you’ll revise your opinion when you join a book club.

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EVEN LOUDER Be seen and heard by the your local market in the Village Voice and Worcester Park Life. With competitive pricing, friendly efficient service and helpful advice it’s simple and effective - but then the best ideas always are.

Call jenny on 020 8336 2915 or go online www.maldenmedia.com To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

View from the City Did you Sell in May and live to regret it? Justin Urquhart Stewart, Co-founder and Head of Business Development

7IM

Back in May, I’m hoping you read an article by me here about the so-called investment ‘rule’ “Sell in May, go away and don’t come back till St. Leger Day”. Honestly this is rather more of an old wives’ tale than any proper advice and it encourages investors to sit out the summer with their money in cash rather than remain invested. But why do we want to follow any rules where stockmarkets are concerned? Investors are supposed to be trying to exploit the natural inefficiencies in markets. And if that’s what you’re trying to do, it suggests that rules shouldn’t ever apply! Well, I do completely understand that when we’re a little uncertain about anything as a bit of guidance often goes a long way. And if I can impart anything it would be to highlight the swathes of very good research that detail why investors should try to invest and forget, leaving their money in the market given that it’s time in the market that’s your friend. So yes, investments can go down as well as up, and you could perhaps lose more than you originally invested. But sitting in cash might see you lose money in real terms. Inflation is at 2.9% and while recent statements by the Bank of England suggest that rates may eventually rise from 0.25%, they see inflation tipping over the 3% mark – a level higher than they had forecasted earlier in the year. So unless you have your money in a notice account, it might be quite difficult to enjoy an interest rate above inflation to ensure your spending power isn’t being reduced. Going back to that research, that evidence pretty consistently reinforces the view that timing the market can potentially see you miss out on some of the stockmarkets’ best performance – not least as sometimes that takes place a few days after the very worst of returns. And scheduled selling the market would be equally as flawed!

back in immediately after St. Leger Day i.e. Monday 18 September, the first working day after the Doncaster flat race I am using an example couple to bring the theory to life. The example saw us winding the clock back to January 1987 and taking two nominal individuals – Steady Ellie and Holiday Henry – who both invested in a fund that effectively tracked the FTSE All Share Index. Steady Ellie left her money invested continually throughout the entire 30 years, while Holiday Henry sold his investments on 30 April each year and then reinvested in the middle of September. So what would have been the performance of their portfolios? Actually, both investors would have been pleased to see that they saw relatively good returns. Henry’s summer of cash savings would have delivered an annualised performance of 8.6%. Ellie, meanwhile, saw her investments return an annualised 10.3%. This was because the market trended upwards 61% of the time (i.e. in 19 of the 31 summers). With compounding also taken into account, Ellie benefitted from a 1,379% gain. Henry saw a 965% increase. But what of those 12 summers of loss? 2001 and 2002 offer up good examples. Steady Ellie could have avoided respective losses of 18.9% and 21.7%. Like Henry, she could have headed off for a London social whirl – from the usual horse shows and racing through to flowers, boat flotillas and concerts – and benefitted from his investment strategy! But past performance is no guide to future returns and looking at the most recent years flags the flaws. Last year, performance would have been lower by 2.7%, while the previous year would have seen investors miss out on an 8.3% uptick over the summer. Selling out in May and returning in September 2009 would have you forego a 20.9% increase. So a strategy that fails for almost two thirds of the time simply has to be viewed as a non-starter. And hopefully this article will encourage a few more converts to spend time in the market rather than blindly follow the herd. Seven Investment Management LLP is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Member of the London Stock Exchange. Registered office: 55 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 3AS. Registered in England and Wales No. OC378740.

So to follow up on our previous piece, I decided it would be useful to go back and see what would have happened this year if you decided to sell in May and buy

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Contact us for details on our three course festive menu or our buffet options. Running from November the 1st through to the new year.

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People The McSweeney Kings We would like to introduce to you The McSweeney Kings, a band consisting of four Singer-Songwriters who were born and raised in New Malden. The McSweeney Kings have just made it through to the Semi-Finals of ‘The UK Songwriting Contest 2017’ with not just one, but six songs from their latest album Back to the Start! The McSweeney Kings are formed of siblings - Simon, Andrew and Helen McSweeney; along with their Father, Peter McSweeney, the founder of the band. Their music has elements of Pop, Folk and Rock ‘n’ Roll and because of their varying ages their influences come from 1960’s right up to current day. In 2012 the family, who have always enjoyed writing Music and Poetry, decided to come combine up to 30 years of their individual efforts and begin Songwriting together. The band went to local Music Studio, Auburn Jam, Raines Park to record their first album, Tilimet. They were so delighted with the encouragement and support they received from Joe & Nikki Davidson at Auburn Jam and the outcome of the first album that they decided to keep going back once a year since. They plan to do this every year until their songs run out... which may never happen with a vast backlog and new songs coming all the time! Musically, Simon, Andrew and Peter play the guitar and all four are prolific lyricists. One fascinating thing about The McSweeney Kings is that many of their melodies and lyrics come from night time dreams. It is not uncommon that any one of them will wake up on any given morning with new chord progressions or even entire compositions! “My favourite example of this...” recounts Helen, “...was when Dad dreamt that John Lennon said to Paul McCartney, ‘I have a new song!’ then proceeded to play a song called, ‘One Day’ which Dad then got up and wrote!” ‘One Day’ is available to download on the The McSweeney King’s Bandcamp Page (link below). The name The McSweeney Kings was chosen in memory of Peter’s Parents, Jack McSweeney and Sheila McSweeney nee King, who were a wonderful inspiration of loving-kindness to the entire family. Peter and his 3 sisters Jill, Ann and Nina well remember watching Jack and Sheila regularly singing at the Cambridge Club, New Malden. Music has always been important to the wider McSweeney family, Cousin Kirsty Morar is a Singer and Vocal Coach in South

Africa, who reached one of her dreams by becoming a finalist in South Africa’s talent competition ‘Onesto The Search’. Many other members of the McSweeney family have also contributed vocals to some of the band’s songs, including Simon’s 4 years old twin boys who recorded a rendition of the Nursery Rhyme, ‘The Muffin Man’ as a bonus track for the band’s album We Are One. More than anything the band value music as a means of enjoying unity and growth as a family; and they hope that this will spill out and influence others through songs such as, ‘We Are One’. For more information: www.themcsweeneykings.com To download The McSweeney King albums: Bandcamp link - themcsweeneykings.bandcamp.com To follow and find out about gigs: Facebook - www.facebook.com/mcsweeneykings

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The McSweeney Kings

NEW ALBUM – Back to the start Listen and download for FREE at…

www.themcsweeneykings.bandcamp.com The McSweeney Kings are a family band from NEW MALDEN who record an album every year. Songs from their new album, “Back to the start”, currently hold six spots in the semi-finals of the UK Songwriting Competition, with the finals due to be announced in December 2017.

www.themcsweeneykings.com To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

Movie Title Pictograms

Sudokus

2 words

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CIRCUI 2 words INCLINATION HUNCH SENSE GUT FEELING IMPULSE

3 words EMPLOI LAVORO TRABAJO

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Password Protection

I W T E H R You have two minutes to find all the words of three or more letters that can be made from the letters above. Plurals are allowed, proper nouns are not. The 6 letter word will always be just a normal everyday word.

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4 letters: 13 5 letters: 5

6 letters: 3

We all know our passwords probably aren’t strong enough, but remembering complex passwords is difficult. The solution? A password manager. Apps such as 1Password or LastPass create a secure vault to store passwords on your computer, and when they’re needed they’re filled out automatically. Best of all, you can synchronise passwords across your various devices, so a password saved to your computer on your phone. Apple offers 3 Letters RITE is available THREW TIER via iCloud WHITEKeychain, allowing you to HER its service WITHE between Macs, iPads and HEW store TYRE and sync passwords WRITE HIE WEIR iPhones. 6 Letters HIT WHET

IRE The real WERE benefit ofWHITER these services is that they generate THE WHIT WITHER strong passwords, so you don’t have to come TIE really WIRE WRITHE them yourself or remember impossibleWET up with WITE WIT sounding WITH combinations of letters and characters. 4 Letters WRIT But don’t forget the golden rule: never use the same HEIR 5 Letters on more than one site or service. HIRE password THEIR

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I am a Caregiver with Home Instead and I care for Celia. She is vibrant and loves fashion, jewellery, shoes, singing, dancing and everything that sparkles - a lady after my own heart. Celia has dementia. Nothing you can see about her gives this away. She is funny and engaging and loves to chat, but behind all this is a lady who is finding life quite hard. I took Celia to a theatre trip in Wimbledon, arranged by Home Instead. Being out in a busy public place is hard for Celia and she becomes agitated but with me there, she tells me she feels safe. Celia knows she has Alzheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and gets very frustrated with the words not flowing freely but I have been caring for her for a while now so I understand her and give her time and support to be herself. In the close confines of a busy theatre, Celiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spatial awareness was compromised and she struggled to shuffle down the row to her seat. However, once the show started with the Music Hall melodies and dancing nothing mattered. Celia was captivated, sung her heart out, remembering all the words to all the songs from yesteryear! For those couple of hours, she was just Celia, not worrying about anything. Not concerned that things didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make sense. It was clear and colourful and familiar. Her trip out with me also helped her husband, who has been her carer for years. He had the chance to be himself for a short while, take some time out from watching, checking, helping, explaining and loving his wife. I love my job. Change someones life and become a CAREGiver. Contact Ana on 0208 942 4137 Ana.bratanic@homeinstead.co.uk

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You will only retire once. We have done it thousands of times.

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We are a local, fa mily business and offer very competitive prices on our exceptional dry cleaning services F in d u s oo k on Fa ce b e rs A1 D ry C lea n

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Recipe Beef And Pepper Stroganoff This is a fabulously quick and easy supper that is packed full of flavour. Serve with a watercress or rocket salad, if liked. Serves 4 Ready in 25 minutes 350g tagliatelle 1tbsp olive oil 4 flash-fry steaks (each about 125g), cut into thin strips 1 large onion, peeled and thinly sliced 1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed 1 large red pepper, deseeded and thinly sliced 300ml carton half-fat crème fraiche 2tsp coarsely ground black pepper 1-2 tbsp freshly chopped flat-leaf parsley Bring a large pan of lightly salted water to the boil. Add the tagliatelle and cook for 8-10 minutes or according to the packet instructions. Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large frying pan

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and stir-fry the steak strips over a very high heat until browned. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the onion and garlic to the pan and fry for 3-4 minutes until golden then add the pepper slices and cook for a further 2-3 minutes. Return the steak strips and any meat juices to the pan and stir in the crème fraiche and ground black pepper. Heat through gently. Stir in the parsley and adjust the seasoning to taste. Drain the tagliatelle and divide between four warmed shallow pasta bowls. Spoon the steak mixture on top and garnish with a little more freshly ground black pepper. TIP Add a spoonful of wholegrain mustard with the crème fraiche for an extra piquant flavour or try a splash of Worcestershire sauce.

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Black and White 1. Italian football team Juventus started wearing black and white striped shirts in 1903 after being sent some from England from a fan of which English football team? 2. Which event in history led to the summer of 1847 being labelled Black Forty Seven? 3. Which 1952 book by E.B. White was named the Best Children's Book of the 20th century by Time magazine? 4. In the first published edition of a famous 1964 book, who were described as a tribe of black pygmies who had been imported from "the very deepest and darkest part of the African jungle where no white man had been before"? 5. Which monarch's profile was featured on the Penny Black, the world's first adhesive postage stamp used in a public postal system? 6. With a name that translates to mean "white house", what is the largest city in Morocco? 7. Which of the following was a character in the film Reservoir Dogs?... Mr Black or Mr White? 8. Born in 1932, which American singer was nicknamed "the man in black"? 9. Which lake is the source of the White Nile, the longest branch of the River Nile? 10. If there are 88 keys in total on a standard modern grand piano, how many of these are black?

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Health You Can’t Out Train a Bad Diet - 7 tips for healthier eating and improved weight loss I’m often asked if it is possible to achieve weight loss goals by increasing levels of physical activity, whilst retaining current eating and drinking habits. Unfortunately the short answer is no. If losing excess body fat is a key goal, then 80% of this goal is achieved in the kitchen (or the pub!) and not in the gym. 1. Plan and prepare – The key is to get yourself organised for the start of each week. Google some simple healthy meals that are quick and easy to prepare. Draw up a weekly meal planner for the week ahead and do a supermarket shop or online delivery based around the meals you’re planning for the week ahead. Try to minimise the number of processed/ ready meals you buy and cook from fresh when possible. 2. Eat less – Serve up smaller portions for each meal. Some people find that using smaller plates and bowls helps to prevent them from overeating. If you find that you have overcooked, put the leftovers in Tupperware and place them in the freezer when cooled. This will give you a home cooked ready meal later in the week if you are under time pressure to cook from fresh. 3. Eat whole natural foods – These foods are unprocessed and include vegetables, fruit and whole grains. When eaten, they take up a lot of room in your stomach & digestive system, as they are full of fibre (which is very low in calories) which helps to satisfy hunger. Whole natural foods will make you feel fuller for longer and less likely to snack during the day. 4. Eat breakfast every day – Breakfast literally means ‘breaking the fast’ as you have not eaten for around 10-12 hours since your last meal the night before. Most breakfast cereals are full of refined sugar and they satisfy your cravings for sugar in the morning when your blood sugar levels are low when you wake up. If cereal is your preferred breakfast choice, then try Liz’s High Protein Granola which has less sugar and a higher protein content for building and repairing muscle. Alternatively eggs (scrambled, boiled and even fried in a non-stick pan) on toast are also a good option. The higher protein content and lower refined sugar will make you feel fuller for longer and reduce the likelihood of snacking during a midmorning energy slump.

5. Drink lots of water – You need around 2 litres of water a day to stay hydrated. Also hunger can often be confused with thirst, so if you are feeling hungry, then reach for a glass of water as you may actually be dehydrated and not hungry. Have a glass of water with each meal as it will help to fill you up and may make you eat less. 6. Don’t give anything up – Consume the ‘treat’ foods and drinks you enjoy but consume them in smaller quantities and less frequently. If you cut out the treats completely, then you will feel unsatisfied and you will most probably respond by overeating and undoing all the good you are achieving. 7. Cut out calorie counting - Calorie counting is time consuming and takes the enjoyment out of food. Focus your efforts on choosing nutritious whole foods that will give your body what it needs and make you feel fuller for longer. They will help to keep your blood sugar levels stable which will minimise junk food cravings. So in summary you can’t out train a bad diet but what you can do is combine an increase in your activity levels with making small changes to your diet, which collectively will make a big difference to your weight loss goals. Pete Bodley-Scott Personal Trainer (see advert on opposite page)

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Finance Government Schemes for First-Time Buyers and Existing Homeownes If you’re an existing homeowner wanting to move up the property ladder, or are looking to buy your first home, a number of government schemes could help you make that investment. From boosting your savings for a deposit to buying a share in a property, take a look below at the main government initiatives to find one that suit your circumstances. Help to Buy ISA Eligibility • First-time buyers only. • Purchase price of up to £250,000 (£450,000 in London). • You must live in the property. • It must be your only home. How it works The government boosts your Help to Buy ISA savings by 25%, up to a maximum of £3,000, so for every £100 you save into the ISA you will receive an additional £25 from the government. If you and a partner are saving for your first home together, you can each open a Help to Buy ISA and take advantage of a savings boost of up to £6,000 in total. Details • You can save up to £200 per month, and make an initial deposit of £1,200. • The minimum bonus paid is £400, so you need to save at least £1,600 to make a claim. • Your solicitor needs to claim the bonus when you are close to purchasing the property. • It cannot be used for the indirect costs of purchase, such as professional fees, or the deposit which is usually required when you exchange contracts. Equity Loan (in England) Eligibility • Applies to new-builds only. • First-time buyers and existing homeowners may be eligible. • Property purchase price up to £600,000 in England. • You must live in the property, and not sub-let it. • It must be your only property. • The home must be purchased from a registered 40

Help to Buy builder. • You cannot use a part-exchange deal on your old home. How it works Also known as shared equity, you own your home using the equity loan scheme, purchasing a proportion of the property up front with the remainder being paid back over a pre-agreed term. Details • You only need a 5% deposit, and a mortgage of up to 75% (55% in London). • The government loans you up to 20% of the deposit (up to 40% in London). • You don’t have to pay loan fees for the first five years. • In year six, a charge of 1.75% of the loan becomes payable - this increases each year in line with the Retail Prices Index plus 1%. • An Equity Loan can be repaid at any time, with 10% of the property’s market value being the minimum repayment needed. • The loan must be repaid after 25 years or when you sell your home. Shared Ownership Eligibility You may be eligible for the Shared Ownership scheme if your annual household income is £80,000 or less (£90,000 or less in London) and: • This is your first home. • You have been a homeowner, but are now unable to afford a property. • You already use the shared ownership scheme. How it works You purchase between 25% and 75% of the property outright and pay a subsidised rent on the outstanding portion. You may be able to purchase more shares until you own the whole property, and the rent is reduced proportionately.

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Details • The cost of buying more shares, known as ‘staircasing,’ will depend on the property’s value at the time. • If you decide to sell your home, the housing association has a right to buy it from you or to find a buyer. • There is an Older People’s Shared Ownership (OPSO) scheme and a disabled person’s scheme for people with a long-term disability. • Shared ownership properties will be leasehold rather than freehold. Starter Home Scheme The Starter Home scheme is the latest government initiative to help first-time buyers in England onto the property ladder. Although not yet fully up and running, these are the latest eligibility criteria and details known. Eligibility • First-time buyers aged between 23 and 40. • Maximum household income of £80,000 (£90,000 in London). • Must have a mortgage.

How it works The government is offering a minimum discount of 20% on a property’s market value, so purchasers will need a mortgage of up to 80%. The purchase price after the discount can be up to £250,000 (£450,000 in London). Details • There will be restrictions on the resale or letting of the property for 15 years after purchase. • Starter homes under this scheme will be exempt from the Community Infrastructure Levy, which house builders normally have to pay to local authorities. • You can register your interest in this scheme online. What has caused a housing crisis in recent years? A rise in the UK population, falling numbers of newbuild properties and high prices in certain areas of the country have all combined to create a dire need for affordable housing. If you’re in this situation, hopefully one of these schemes will help you on to the property ladder sooner rather than later.

The Life List

TURN ON THE WATERWORKS – Use a sprinkler.

The Garden Code

ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER – Aerate the compost pile.

Gardeners can be a funny lot. Whether it’s getting up in the small hours to hunt for slugs, or saving cardboard boxes (and keeping them dry!) ready for the compost, you can’t fault their dedication. It’s as if they live in their own little world and talk their own language… FORLORN – To be dismayed at the clover and dandelions ruining your grass. CONCEDE – Those discount packets from garden centres that never seem to amount to anything. HOEING – To laugh at some else’s overgrown and unruly vegetable patch.

BORDER PATROL – The ceaseless quest to keep your prize dahlias and salvias healthy and safe.

POTHOLING – Creating drainage in homemade plant holders. A CUTTING REMARK – To critique a flower arrangement. GRASP THE NETTLE – An easy one to understand! A gloved weeding session, followed by a delicious soup (or the beginnings of a nitrogen rich plant feed). HAS-BEENS – Enjoying a flageolet harvest. BAMBOOZLE – Confuse yourself by excessive use of garden canes. A NET GAIN – To protect your berries from the birds.

HEDGE FUND – Money set aside for privet, Pittosporum and topiary.

CAGE FIGHTER – Belatedly rush to enmesh your raised bed before it becomes a restaurant for pests.

THE PLOT THICKENS – I should have added organic matter to improve drainage in my clay soil.

A SLUGGISH START – What happened to all your lettuce plants after it rained.

MAKE A BEELINE – To plant rows of alliums, catmint, lupins and sedum for pollinators.

By Derek Thompson www.alongthewritelines.blogspot.co.uk

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Gardening Gardeners in Glass Houses… Pippa Greenwood If you can possibly squeeze a greenhouse in to your garden, it’ll be a purchase you won’t regret. A greenhouse will literally transform your gardening activities and open up a whole new range of possibilities - but what should you get and where should you put it? A greenhouse needs to be sited well away from large trees. These not only make for shady conditions that will reduce light getting to the plants inside the greenhouse, but falling branches or other tree debris also increase the risk of damage to the glass as well as the guttering becoming clogged. If you are going to want to install electrical equipment such as heating, lighting or even some electrically heated propagators, bear in mind that the further the greenhouse is from the house or other existing supply, the more expensive it will be to install underground armoured cable. So what size should you go for? The answer is simple, larger than you might expect! Pretty well whatever the size of greenhouse you get, you can be sure you will eventually wish it was larger. Most of the initial costs rise by a relatively small amount as the size of the greenhouse increases, so save up a little longer if necessary. But any greenhouse is better than none, so if space or budget only allow for a 4ft x 4ft, then still go for it! Most greenhouses have a frame made from wood or metal (most commonly aluminium). Which you choose will really depend on personal preference: many prefer the look of wood, but it will need regular maintenance unless it is western red cedar. Whichever you choose, make sure it is sturdily constructed, especially if you live in a wind-prone area.

of ventilation helps to reduce the temperature and also allows for better air circulation, so reducing problems with plant diseases etc. Consider roof vents as well, which aid air circulation and are an especially efficient way to let excess heat escape. Make sure that the doorway to your greenhouse is wide enough for easy access. Occasionally you see some that are so skinny you’d struggle to get

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through them if you were carrying anything heavy or bulky. If possible choose one wide enough for you to push a wheelbarrow through with ease – this will make jobs such as changing the border soil or just bringing in compost so much easier. A greenhouse should be erected on a solid base - perhaps paving slabs, concrete or bricks - or on a skirt or surround of paving or concrete. The choice needs to be made at the outset, and your supplier will be able to advise on what is best for the greenhouse you choose. I prefer to have a solid path up the centre of the greenhouse (essential for practicality) and then an open bed up one or both sides. The advantage of a bed is that you can fill it full of quality soil and plant directly into it, making maintenance of crops such as tomatoes an awful lot easier. A solid base means you will need to grow greenhouse crops in containers. When you’re placing the order, try to get some greenhouse staging in your greenhouse. This is usually made from wood or metal and is slatted, making a perfect place to stand seed trays, pots and propagators.

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Most greenhouses are fitted with horticultural grade glass but there are other options; if the garden is used by children, you may decide to do as I did and install safety glass or reinforced glass to reduce the risk of a tragic accident – especially likely at the base of the greenhouse. Plastic, polythene or corrugated plastic ‘glazing’ are also available from some outlets; these are generally lower cost and less of a potential hazard - but check how long they are designed to last, and think about how they will look too. If possible consider some really useful extras, including: shading (necessary to help to keep temperatures down in the sunnier months and to reduce the risk of plant damage); guttering and a linked in water-butt (a brilliant way to have a handy water supply without elaborate plumbing, and the green option too); and an electrical supply (expensive and must be installed by a properly qualified and registered electrician, but allows electrical heating, lighting, fans and installation of a heated propagator). My Top Reasons for Getting a Greenhouse • It allows you to grow a wider range of crops with ease. • It provides a longer growing season, giving shelter at both ends of the season. • You will be able to raise a lot of plants from seed yourself, so saving money. • It will dramatically reduce the risk of problems such as tomato blight. • Plants get plenty of natural light and so are more likely to thrive. • It makes a perfect gardener’s hide-away! Visit Pippa’s website www.pippagreenwood.com for her ‘Winter thru’ Spring Collection’ of gorgeous UK-grown garden-ready vegetable plants ready for delivery in September. You’ll also find many gardening items including growing frames, SpeedHoes, SpeedWeeders, raised bed kits, Nemaslug and other nematode controls, copper tape, pull-out EasyTunnels, signed books and lots more besides.

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Clubs

To feature in this section email info@nmvv.co.uk

Mondays

New Malden Rotary Club Malden Golf Club,Traps Lane Monday evenings 6.15 for 6.45pm Barry Collins 07740 257 255

Monday Netball Club Mondays 8.30pm

Katie Leason 07910 256107

English Conversation / Lessons Christ Church Centre, Coombe Road. Mon & Tues, 10am - 12noon Chris Coke 020 8942 7388

St James Players If you enjoy acting do come or help backstage. Mon and Weds 8pm St James Church Hall, Bodley Road New Malden.

NHS Retirement Fellowship Are you retired or about to retire from the NHS? Why not join us on the 1st Tuesday of every month from 10am -12 at Christ Church Hall, Christ Church Road, Surbiton, KT5 8JJ. We have speakers, activities, coffee & chat.Other outings & activities are also arranged during the month. Lorna 020 8337 4121

Half Shares We are a group of widows who meet together on the 1st Tuesday of every month. We have a speaker and enjoy a cuppa and a chat. Come and join us at 1.45-3.15pm at Christ Church Centre, Coombe Rd Lily 020 8949 1431 The New Malden Investment Club Our meetings are held on the first Tuesday of the month at the Grafton Club, Grafton Road, New Malden.

Colouring Club A soothing and enjoyable pastime for adults with no skills needed. 1011am at Cafe Galio. Royal British Legion, Malden and Coombe Branch meetings are held at the Grafton Club on the second Wed of the month at 2.30pm. New members welcome. Jan Feist: janfeist@hotmail.com

Thursdays

Early Morning Running Group Speed work on tarmacked areas, totaling 6-8 miles. Mixed ability group. No fee. Meet: The gates of Sir Mem Sec: linda@dunnz.net Joseph Hood Playing Fields, Marina St James Cafe, Bodley Road, New Ave, Motspur Park, KT3 6NE. (Three Malden runs on the 3rd Monday minutes walk from Motspur Park of every month (except August) station). Time: 6.00am at the gates. between 9.30am and 11.30am. Finish 7.30-7.45am. Olwen 07941 Secretary 020 8942 1926 Everyone welcome. Come for a chat Malden Bridge Club When: Tuesday 898896, olwenseear@gmail.com. over a hot drink and a tea cake. Dates New Malden Quilters Association evenings 7.30-10.30pm Graham for the rest of 2016 - 17th October, is a not-for-profit group which Spicer Institute, by entrance to 21st November and 12th December meets on the first Thursday evening Waitrose car park. (note earlier date). Contact Heather of each month at St John The John 020 8942 7560 020 8336 1582. Act For Justice New Malden Baptist Divine, Kingston Road, New Malden church; Westbury Road. KT3 5BE. first from 7.30 – 9.30.pm Refreshments Tuesday of every month, 8 - 9.30pm. are provided during the evening. Tuesdays We enjoy a variety of speakers, This group aims to combat human Tuesdays workshops, meetings, friendship trafficking. We’ll discuss issues of Early Morning Running Group and welcome anyone interested in forced labour, sexual exploitation and Hill training on The Hamptons, domestic servitude, raise awareness Quilting and its associated crafts. covering 6-8 miles. Mixed ability £6 entry for guests. and fundraise. group. No fee. Meet: The gates of Sir We are lucky to have a number of ellykeevil@hotmail.com Joseph Hood Playing Fields, Marina talented members who are willing Ave, Motspur Park, KT3 6NE. (Three to share their knowledge and minutes walk from Motspur Park expertise with us. A warm welcome Wednesdays station). Time: 6.00am at the gates. is extended to all visitors, especially Malden & Coombe Social Club For Finish 7.30-7.45am. Olwen 07941 beginners. The Blind Alternate Wednesdays 898896, olwenseear@gmail.com. farnboroughskid@gmail.com 2pm to 4pm Mike Ball 020 8942 0819 Arthritis Care New Malden Branch 075785780726 Volunteer drivers/helpers VERY Arthritis Care Kingston and District welcome Meetings 3rd Tuesday of the month St. John’s Hall is open between Talking Of Trains In Surbiton 7.30pm in the evening at Alfriston 2.00 and 4.00pm for Tea And Chat. If Talks at the Surbiton Library Hall each House Berrylands Road Surbiton you are on your own please feel free Wed evening throughout the winter Jocelyn King 0208 942 6745 to drop in for a free cup of tea and months. 1st meeting free, cost £50pa The New Malden Ladies Badminton some company. 411 Malden Road www.talkingof trains.co.uk Club When: Tuesday at the Malden (between Worcester Park station Centre from 20.30 till 10pm We are and The Plough). 213 Bus stops a mixed ability club looking for new nearby. members. Lynda 020 8949 2673 or just pop in.

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The Malden and Coombe Townswomen’s Guild welcome new members. We meet at 10am on the third Thursday of the month at the United Reformed Church hall in New Malden. We are a friendly group of women of all ages and backgrounds. We have interesting speakers from various organisations; outings, clubs, bring and buy sales and competitions. We charge just £3 for your first visit which includes coffee and biscuits. Deirdre Banks on 020 89494743

Malden Camera Club New Malden Library, Kingston Road Thurs evenings throughout the year at 7.45pm www.maldencameraclub.org.uk

Malden Centre Orchestra Malden Centre, Blagdon Road, 10am-12noon every Thursday (term time only). Come and enjoy great symphonic music in a friendly group of players under the leading of an experience conductor. newmaldenorchestra.weebly.com Contact: pbuttaboni@yahoo.co.uk

Tolworth Badminton Club Tolworth Recreation Centre Thursday evenings 7.30-9.30 Intermediate/advanced level

always available. £5 table money. Parking available outside the hall. Also buses and trains from very close by. Rosemary Vase 0208

Malden Emergency First Aid Society (Mefas) Members meet each Thursday evening at 7.30pm for First Aid training. New members required. Everyone welcome. Hall available for hire. Christine 07966661015 Kingston Association for The Blind Lunch Club at The Mefas Hall, rear of Malden Centre, Cocks Crescent, New Malden - for people with a severe sight loss - for a sandwich lunch on the last Thursday of every month 12.30 to 2.30 pm. £3 per person and friends or family are welcome.Kerry at

Malden And Coombe Flower Decoration Society St.James Church Hall Bodley Road 3rd Thurs of the month 7.30pm. Why not come along to these evenings and dazzle your family and friends with your expertise! Visitors £6

tolworthbadmintonclub.co.uk Pat 0208 395 9175 or just turn up

K.A.B. 020 8605 0060

Come and join our friendly local bridge club at the Shiraz Mirza hall (behind Norbiton station). We play 24 hands of duplicate bridge - with electronic scoring - every Thurs from 7.30pm.Host system so partners

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Malden Wanderers Badminton Club 22, Cambridge Avenue, KT3 4LE When - 8.30-10pm We are a friendly club looking for new members. Bobby 07946 532 846

New Malden Women’s Institute Shiraz Mirza Hall, Manor Park Hall, Malden Road, New Malden, KT3 6AV. 2nd Thurs of each month at 7.30pm Barbara 0208 546 1495 or twocavs@googlemail.com

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Kingston Debating Society An evening of lively intelligent debate, where you get to have your say. Thurs7.45pm 10 March Kingston Methodist Church, Avenue Road, off Fairfield South, KT1 2UJ kingstondebating.org.uk

New Malden Voices for all adults 8-9pm every Thursday in term time at New Malden Methodist Church. New Malden Youth Choir for children 7-15 years old 6.15-7.15 every Thursday in term time at New Malden Methodist Church Contact Jane on 07775654854

Fridays

Craft Group We meet at New Malden Baptist Church on the 1st Friday of the month from 7.30pm - 10pm to knit, crochet, sew, papercraft, bead. Fiona on 0208 949 8269 or ron_fibb@tiscali.co.uk.

Friday Morning Running A mixed group, consisting mainly, but not restricted to, mothers with children in school, meet each Friday morning at 9.50 am in the Pembroke Lodge car park TW10 5HX, for a run of between 3 and 4 miles in Richmond Park. This is a social group of runners with no pressure on ability. New runners are more than welcome (everybody has to start somewhere) and time will be taken to accommodate them. Don’t feel inhibited, come and try us! Bob 07936 240937

RSPB Epsom & Ewell Local group 2nd Friday of every month at 7.30, apart from July and August, at All Saints Church Hall Fulford Road, West Ewell with guest speakers who illustrate their enthusiasm on a variety of natural history subjects. We also have several birding outings throughout the year which is arranged to suit all ages. There is a small charge for non-members of the RSPB. rspb.org.uk/ groups/epsom.

Over 60’s club St. James Church Hall. Bodley Road, New Malden from 1pm to 2:30 pm (Doors open at 12:30) We have musical entertainment, a raffle and refreshments. Coach outings are organised during the Summer months. Sheila 0208 949 5118

Saturdays

Saturday Dementia Club staywell Services 2nd Saturday of the month 11am to 2pm in New Malden for people living with dementia, their family and carers, Call 020 8942 8256 and ask for

Cathy or Marion email saturdayclub@staywellservices.org Learn to sew and knit! Do you want to learn to sew or knit, improve your skills or just meet other knitters and

sewers to work and chat? Join the Sew and Sews on the second and fourth Saturdays at 10.30 a.m. at St. James’ Bodley Road. Everyone welcome. 50p for refreshments.

General

Emanuel Rugby Where: Shannon Corner, KT3 4PU When: Adults Tuesdays and Thursdays,7.30pm, Saturday 2-3pm. Children: Registration at the club is 1030am with training starting at 11am on Sundays

emanuelrugby.co.uk info@emanuelrugby.co.uk Fergus McCarthy 0845 8338974

Malden Lime Grove Bowling Club, New Malden Both new and experienced bowlers are welcome at our friendly club with coaching on hand to guide and advise. We bowl outside from late April to the end of September, but social events for members are run throughout the year.

For enquiries ring Sue on 0208 395 6778 or John on 0208 949 4315 www.maldenlimegrovebowlingclub.com

Supreme Bowls Club

We welcome new bowlers of both sexes, all ages, and all abilities from late April to end of Sept. Come and try bowling for free. We are a friendly club with around 70 members on the Kings College Sports Ground close to Woodies pub at the junction of Thetford Road and Windsor Avenue, New Malden, KT3 5BF. Mick or Di on 020 8942 0294. supremebowling.org.uk.

West Wimbledon Society Table Tennis Club

Friendly social table tennis club in Raynes Park welcomes new members (sorry not complete beginners). 020 8947 3564. Surbition Bowls Club Alexandra Rec, Tolworth. Roll ups Tuesday evenings from 5,50pm. Small friendly mixed club (35 players.) David 020 8224 2385 From The Ground Up local affordable organic box scheme - Kingston’s own - fresh organic veg, fruit, bread, cheese and preserves at exceptional price. Collection every Saturday from Kingston or Surbiton. fgu@ttkingston.org

Surbiton Croquet Club

Where: Alexandra Drive, Berrylands. Croquet is a game for all ages and abilities. All welcome at very friendly club, including (especially!) complete beginners. Free introductory croquet coaching sessions. Chris Osmond 020 8330 6698 Malden Manor Bowls Club, Manor Park, Malden Road. New members will be made very welcome. Roll ups, league matches, internal and external competitions; we offer bowling for all levels of interest and ability. Men’s Secretary Gerald 020 8949 4623 or Ladies Secretary 020 8394 0877.

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New Malden Matters New Malden Residents’ Association will have its AGM on 30 October, hopefully with Kingston and Surbiton MP Ed Davey present to respond to questions from the audience (barring another midnight vote that night on Brexit issues). In pride of place in the chair’s report will be our recent success in persuading Transport for London to turn off at night the huge advertising screen on the east side of the Malden roundabout, after eight months in which residents of St James’ Close were regularly woken from their sleep by the glare from frequently changing adverts. ‘Like something in a disco’, ‘strobe lights’ and ‘Las Vegas’ were descriptions that were used.

the light of one candle on one square metre! A resident in St James’ Close contacted NMRA in early February and our secretary Frances Marsh took photos, which she sent to the ward councillors. Shortly after, TfL reduced the light level from 300 candelas to 100 candelas, but that was still enough to wake people from their sleep, and at the end of February an ‘incensed motorist’ phoned the Comet about the ‘all-singing, alldancing billboards’. TfL replied to the Comet that the safety of all road users and local residents was always their top consideration. At the March MCNC meeting it was resolved that TfL would be invited to a site visit and that the Kingston compliance team would assess the sign, but at the June MCNC meeting we had still heard nothing and the technical report on the lighting had not been sent. So we used the half hour question time at the start of the meeting to good advantage, to say what we thought of the situation.

The saga began, unbeknownst to much of the local population, in October 2014 when It didn’t go down well when TfL replied to our planning permission was unanimously granted queries with a standard message that they would by the Malden and Coombe Neighbourhood aim to reply ‘within ten working days’, and assured Committee to Outdoor Plus, an advertising us that ‘digital roadside advertising is not unsafe developer, to erect the 3x 12.2m screens, but should be considered on a site-by-site basis’with the proviso that there should be a quite what that means in relation to the Malden report provided beforehand with a detailed junction we don’t know. Blandness and delay are specification of the level of illumination. This rarely a good combination. report was not in fact provided until June 2017. As is usual with planning applications, local The whole process felt like wading through treacle, residents were consulted and two letters of as we enlisted councillors, our London Assembly objection received, concerns being that the Member and our previous MP in trying to get a signs would distract drivers, invade privacy, response from TfL on the site visit. When we were affect the character of the area, keep people forwarded a copy of the lighting report from TfL, awake at night, and could become a target most of which was in impenetrable technical for anti-social behaviour. The officer’s report language, it became obvious that the area had considered that the sign in question was sunken been wrongly classified as ‘Zone E4- Areas of below road level as it was above an underpass, distinct brightness, generally urban areas with and that it was static illumination so it should mixed recreational and commercial land use with not impact on the adjacent properties. In fact, high night-time activity’. The Malden roundabout once installed in January 2017 the frequent is not exactly Piccadilly Circus, but when we changing of the adverts and their brightness queried this we were told the correct classification were sufficient to wake residents from their would make little difference. Evidently an inexact sleep. What isn’t clear from the committee classificatory system. papers, is what information was given to either councillors or residents about what such Eventually Frances and I, plus three residents, met advertising sites actually look like, or whether three staff from TfL for a site visit on 14 July. They the committee asked this. Few of us, if told the were very helpful, but we then heard nothing illumination will be so many lumens or candelas, for the next six weeks. Frances was just about to would be able to picture that in our mind’s eye, nag again when at the end of August we got the even if we were told that a candela represents 48 Please remember to mention the Village Voice when you speak to our advertisers

welcome news that the screen would be turned off on 4 September at 10pm, for a night-time curfew. Off I set in the car at the appointed time (trust but verify). It was still on. But at least this time there was a prompt response from TfL about a rogue advert, and it was quickly addressed. So what lessons can be drawn from this episode? Firstly, it illustrates the value of a Residents’ Association, with the commitment and energy to persist in getting a result. Secondly, the importance of good committee procedures, so unmet conditions for planning permission are clearly flagged up. Coupled perhaps, with more questioning from members- ‘what will this scheme actually look like?’ Thirdly, individual staff from TfL have been very helpful, but the organisation’s failure to provide a report for well over two years and their general style of communication leave a lot to be desired. And as for the bland assurance that the adverts are not an unsafe distraction for motorists- we are not at all convinced. Liz Meerabeau New Malden Residents’ Association www.newmaldenresidents.org.uk

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Codeword Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a different number between 1 and 26. The codes for three letters are shown. Once you have filled these throughout the grid you can start guessing words and reveal other letters. As you find the letters enter them in the box below.

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Time to move! Let us help you sell or let your home and find a new one. If you’re thinking of selling or letting and would like some expert advice on current market conditions, call us today. We’ll support you every step of the way.

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Kids Play There’s lots going on for pre-schoolers Mondays

10am to 11.30am Tots In Tow St John’s Church, Kingston Road Contact Dave on 02089425643 1.15 pm 3.15pm. St James Tiddlers Group We welcome all parents and toddlers, plus big sisters and brothers when they’re on holidays. St James Church Hall, Bodley Rd Contact Angie: 020 8942 2093 9.15 11.15 Stay and Play (0-18 months) - New Malden Children’s Centre, Burlington Road 020 8336 1561. Bumps and Babies under 1 NCT coffee morning, fortnightly Mondays. 10am to 11.30am. The Watchman Pub, New Malden. All welcome. NCT members and nonmembers. For more information and to confirm the next meeting date please contact newmaldennctcoffee@gmail.com

Tuesdays

Tuesday-Fridays

Parent and Toddler Play Sessions Dickerage Lane Adventure Playground Dickerage Lane, Daniel Slocombe 020 8942 1707,

Saturdays

10-12noon Who let the dads out is at Norbiton Children’s Centre, The Mount School, Dickerage Lane, New Malden Runs the third Saturday of every month. 10am-12pm Stay and Play - Dads group - - first Saturday of every month New Malden Children’s Centre, Burlington Road 020 8336 1561. Every second Saturday of the month, New Malden Library 10.30-11.00am. Free Saturday Rhyme Time for under 5s. Dads especially welcome. Join us for 30 minutes of rhymes, songs and instrument shaking! Men behaving Dadly is a group that meets on a Saturday morning once a month in the Christ Church lounge. Dads bring their young children to enjoy playing with the toys and relax together by eating bacon sandwiches and drinking coffee.

10am to 11.45am St Joseph’s Toddler Group St Joseph’s R C Church, Montem Road 9.30am to 11.30am Sparkles United Reformed Church, Cavendish Hall, Cavendish Road Contact Peggy Cox 020 8949 3402 to visit. 9-11.30 Stay and Play New Malden Children’s Centre, Burlington Road 020 8336 1561

Wednesdays

10am to 11.30am Tots in Tow (see Monday) 10am and 11.45 ST Joseph’s Toddler Group (see Tuesday). 12.30pm - 3.pm Stay and Play (0 - 5 years) - New Malden Children’s Centre, Burlington Road 020 8336 1561

Thursdays

9.45 to 11.30am Methodist Church Parent and Toddler Group Methodist Church, High Street, Contact Julia Morton 020 8942 1288. 9.30am to 12.30pm 9.30 - 12 noon Childminders’ drop in including school holidays, Norbiton Children’s Centre, The Mount School, Dickerage Road, 0208 942 2559 10.30-11am Story Time for age 2.5+ at New Malden Library

Fridays

9.30am to 11.30am Christ Church Parent and Toddler Group Christ Church, Coombe Road Contact Susie Gregerson 020 8241 9423. 9.45am to 11.15am Tadpoles Parent and Toddler Group New Malden Baptist Church, Kingston Road 020 8942 6912 – not a drop in session so call first. 10.30-11.00am Rhyme Time for age 0-3 at New Malden Library 9-12.Toy Library New Malden Children’s Centre, Burlington Road 020 8336 1561. Also at NMCC Breastfeeding Support Group - 10.00 - 12.00 - first week of the month Twins Support Group - 10.00 - 12.00 - Second and fourth weeks of the month,

KT3 0-5 yrs Softplay £2.95 per hour, £1.50 2nd hour

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Tel: 07721021290 www.rascalsoftplay.co.uk

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What’s On New Malden Farmers Market

@ the carpark behind the Fountain pub 9am-2pm 1st Saturday of each month

Music

Music in New Malden 3 o’clock, 2nd Sunday in the month New Malden Methodist Church, High Street KT3 4BY an hour of music followed by tea and cake All concerts and programmes are subject to confirmation. Check the website for latest news. web: musicinnewmalden.wordpress.com

Kingston Museum

August 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 August Thumbs up it’s Thursday! Make and take, craft and ingenious events to celebrate the Korean art and heritage of the Borough. 1-4pm 12 August Community takeover: National Celebration of stitch. Join the Embroiderers Guild, Kingston end District branch and the young Embroiderers in a lovely day full of creativity! Suitable for children 5+ and adults, beginners are particularly welcome. 1-4pm

Fun Dog Show

To be held at: Riding For The Disabled Association, Hook Road, Epsom, Surrey KT19 8QW In aid of the Riding for the Disabled Association Sunday 8th October Entries from 1.30 Judging: 2.30 Classes: 1. Best Puppy (4 months – 18 months) 2. Handsomest Dog 3. Prettiest Bitch 4. Best Veteran Dog/Bitch (over 7 years) 5. Best Pair (odd or matched) 6. Best Crossbreed 7. Waggiest Tail 8. Dog the judge would most like to take home Ewell Agility Club would like to thank the following sponsors:Isobel Addenbrooke, Teresa Jones, Jane Martin, Magda Nosalik, Kim Tyson, Lesley Woods, Jane Tidy, Thelma Goldsmith, Vivian Marchant, Kathy Nightingale, Dorienpalm Building Co. Green Lane Farm Kennels

Heritage Open Days

Bewitched Stitches a Textile Art Exhibition by Kingston and District Branch of the Embroiderers’ Guild Friday 13th- Saturday 28th October 2017, Kingston Museum Art Gallery, Wheatfield Way, Kingston-upon-Thames, KT1 2PS Opening Hours: Tues, Fri & Sat 10am-5pm, Thursday 10am-7pm Kingston and District Branch of the Embroiderers’ Guild would like to invite you to lose yourself in the magical and mysterious realm of fairytales, folklore, myths, legends and fables. Raffle tickets will be on sale to win a beautiful embroidered casket for keeping your secret treasures safe, and there will be an extensive range of handmade cards and other items for sale. FREE ADMISSION

Entry Fee £1.50 per Dog per Class Rosettes to 6th place Plus: Dog Obstacle Course £1.50 Agility Course £1.50 Dog Scurry £0.50 Raffle & Stalls Refreshments If wet weather the show will be held inside the arena. Also Free Parking. No dogs suffering from infectious or contagious diseases or having been exposed to such diseases during the period 21 days prior to show, or bitches in season will be allowed onto the premises.

Embroiderers’ Guild Activities

Saturday, 14th October, Young Embroiderers Stitch Club, 1.30pm-3.30pm Kingston Museum, Wheatfield Way, KT1 2PS FREE WORKSHOP Join the Young Embroiderers and create your own Flower Fairy or Forest Friend. Suitable ages 5+ (adults must accompany) Saturday, 28 October, Stitch and Tell, 1.30pm-3.30pm Kingston Museum, Wheatfield Way, KT1 2PS FREE WORKSHOP Taking inspiration from our beautiful modern stumpwork box, members of Kingston and District Branch of the Embroiderers’ Guild will teach you how to stitch simple motifs that may be used to embellish items such as clothing, bags or household linens. To reserve your places on either of the above workshops please call: 020 8547 6440 or email: kingston.musem@kingston.gov.uk

Quiz night

Quiz master Adrian Mills, Radio and TV presenter and a Patron of the Holly Lodge Centre will be in charge for what promises to be a competitive and fun evening. You are invited to join us to “pit your wits” against other

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Quiz teams in our popular 3rd annual quiz night. Friday 20th October, King’s House School, 68 Kings Road, Richmond TW10 6ES 7pm to 10:30pm £18 per person with team table of 6 quizzers or make up a team on the night. Tickets include supper plus one free beer or glass of wine per person Alcoholic/soft drinks will be available throughout the evening. Book early to avoid disappointment hlcquiznight2017.eventbrite.co.uk/ For further information about this event or the activities of The Holly Lodge Centre e-mail hlcevents@thehollylodgecentre.org.uk or call 020 8940 8730 The Holly Lodge Centre, Richmond Park TW10 5HS Charity No.1076741

This Gift Market

12th to 16th December is an established 5 day event. Bourne Hall, Ewell Our Stalls are specially selected for : Originality, Quality, Usability ,Good Value And Good Service. New Stalls Added Daily . only “one “ of its type at any time ...except Jewellery ....where there are 2 stalls Tihis is an indoors event with Table + Chair provided. All on Ground Level Open 10 am close 5pm ( 7 pm Tuesday) Cheap & Easy Car Parking FREE ENTRY

Welcoming Students on Kingston Road As many of you will have noticed, there is lots of student accommodation springing up around us, including a large complex on Kingston Road called Arbury Court which is opening in September. The churches nearby are gearing up to welcome students to the local area, and a combined group from St John’s (Kingston Road) and New Malden Baptist Church have been working on ways to do this. Specifically, we want to give those new to looking after themselves or new to the area a helping hand, and are offering meals on Sundays, a cookery course, and a CAP Student Money course which helps with budgeting. We have a dedicated web-page and lots of local information for them. We hope they will enjoy living in New Malden as much as we do! www.studentskingstonroadnm.com

Anagram Pairs Can you reword the phrases below to come up with new two-word phrases, where both words are anagrams of each other? For example, “necessary three-sided shape” = “integral triangle”.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

strongly disliked end of life alarm promising young actress gave wrong cards to top three finisher flexible family members beautiful hit of ball before it touched the ground transfers forests from internet to computer more muscular thing provided without charge educate someone who wins by acting unfairly environmentally friendly category improved efficiency of train accidents

To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

Parkin' some thoughts by Nick Hazell

Choices As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Newcastle the night before the Great North Run. It’s a nice hotel. One of those with towelling dressing gowns and fluffy slippers neatly arranged in a cupboard but never used by any self-respecting resident. It’s also hosting a wedding party which has reached that point in the evening where the guests that the bride and groom don’t like very much have arrived. They’ve engaged the services of a wedding singer who is currently murdering “Sweet Caroline” having beaten “Dirty Diana” into a near state of unconsciousness. The guests are either deaf or too drunk to care or maybe they’re just willing to put up with the musical tones of someone capable of blending the sounds of a mating fox with the drone of a combine harvester because they’ve little choice. That got me thinking. Like most Parky sufferers, in some ways I’m not the most patient of patients. We all want a cure now and get frustrated by what seems like an unutterably slow journey towards that goal. Patience is a virtue (or so we’re told) and tolerance of symptoms in the meantime our lot. Those symptoms affect every aspect of my daily life and from time to time force me to slow down and work at the pace permitted by my body. Often my brain plots a path that my legs are unwilling or unable to follow. On those occasions I can barely write the word “co-ordination” legibly let alone put it’s meaning into practice. I’ve not much choice about that either.

about one of history’s most sophisticated societies. The two objectives were not immediately compatible. As a result, there was some initial grumbling which culminated in a sit down strike on the streets of Pompeii (pictured). However, after some negotiation, the invention of a series of interactive games such as “which Roman statue is the ugliest/has the biggest nose/ best hair style”/”spot the house of ill repute” etc and with the realisation that affecting interest at the sight of another clay pot was the route to Gelatino, the Roman Ice Cream God, they found their own way to handle the challenge before them. Making the most out of every situation is of course, easier said than done. Some are dealt particularly poor hands and there are some occasions where the power of positive thought is as effective as the staff holiday calendar at Ryan Air, but as the wedding singer takes a pneumatic drill to “the Road to Amarillo” I’ll leave you with this thought; life is not the way it’s supposed to be, but the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference. Sitting here though in my towelling dressing gown and fluffy slippers, I’m just glad I bought some ear plugs!

In fact, there are so many things you can’t control, but you do have a choice over how to react. You can either spend your time complaining about the wedgey that the hand of life has administered or take a deep breath, rearrange your trousers and like the wedding guests now listening to what sounds like a mortar attack on “A Town Called Malice”, get on and make the most of it. I tried to impart these sage-like musings to my children whilst on holiday in Italy this summer. As a masters graduate, learned in archaeology and ancient history, Victoria wanted to fulfil a lifelong ambition to visit Rome and Pompeii. She finds all that Roman stuff incredibly fascinating and placed a long list of tours, museum visits and cultural activities on the Hazell holiday agenda. In contrast, the Girls had seen Italy as a source of endless ice cream, pizza and lounging by the pool rather than as an opportunity to learn

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Do you have jewellery you no longer wear? Is your jewellery “tired” and in need of a re-vamp? Adorn will repair or totally re-model your existing jewellery to create a beautiful new piece. Why not create your own custom designed jewellery? From bangles to pendants, rings to earrings, we will help you through the design process to create a totally unique piece.

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To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

A Photographer Dreams.... by Hugh Griffiths www.creativelight.org.uk Autumn is here. Colours and conkers are all around us. The trees are changing their colours from green to red and then losing those colourful leaves. I think I photographed this hopeful conker at Richmond park – it is peeping out of its prickly and protective shell, where it has been growing through the summer. But now it is time to get out into the light and take the opportunity to fall to the ground and, maybe, grow into a new tree. Probably not, though; I’m sure that you see piles of these conkers and their shells over the parks, waiting to be swept up and dumped somewhere. Not many of them are used for playing conkers, I suspect – a bit of a shame possibly, but then there are loads of new games that children play today that weren’t available in my youth. This picture captures something of the season: the bright conker shell, the green prickly surround,

are true October colours. In terms of composition, I have put the conker itself right in the centre which is usually a mistake. Not here, because there is sufficient interest (in the shell and the leaves) on its right to make you ‘see’ the main focus of the photograph as being on the right. I like the bit of twig that is acting like a Wembley arch over the conker, and the out of focus-ness (what photographers call ‘bokeh’. Don’t ask) of the surround to the left. There is nothing getting in the way, making you look at it over on that side.

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Adobe editing products can get rid of that noise fairly well, but leave the edges of people and things slightly soft. No matter – the composition works with an almost blank centre and people balancing each other on either side. The centre is not completely blank – would have made for a dull scene if it had been – but there is just enough to keep you interested. Judges at competitions are sometimes as interested in the technical side as much as the composition, so this is one picture that may not be shown off very often!

Last October, I was in New York at one of my last conferences before retiring. All the more precious for that – when will I get back to see that great city? – so I took the chance to visit a couple of museums, and do a lot of walking and touristing. One of the museums was the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA). It is absolutely fantastic. Full of interesting art and a lovely building as well. There is an open space on the first floor where they do performances and dance; this picture was taken from a balcony overlooking that space, and seeing down into the queues for the cloakrooms where people leave their bags and coats. Now, I don’t often take pictures of people – I prefer the less risky work of landscapes or wildlife. Animals aren’t going to complain about the way they look, and (for landscapes at least) there is not going to be a sudden movement of a mountain. But this picture was staring at me when I looked down. In my view, it is a story of our times – with almost everyone in the picture ignoring everyone else; each person has their own agenda, their own places to go, and the fact that there are a lot of people around is not really important. Technically, it is probably not the greatest – it was indoors, and I wasn’t using a flash, so the camera pushed the ISO up to 6400 – meaning it took the picture, but there was a fair amount of ‘noise’ in it.

New York has music! Any, and all musical tastes can be satisfied at clubs and concert halls through Manhattan. I like jazz, and so I took the chance to go to the Blue Note Club for a Saturday night performance. Chick Corea and his band were playing – he is the one on the left of the picture. The trumpet being played by the man to his left used to be the one that Louis Armstrong played: the great Satchmo. This is a terrific jazz band! The club is completely enclosed – no windows, no natural light. The main lighting theme is blue (obviously), and that means that taking a picture can be pretty difficult. It’s dark, the light is blue, and the place is crowded. I didn’t take any great pictures there – but this one, showing the band (less the drummer, who was off to the right) captured some of the atmosphere of the evening. It was an awesome time. Great music, good food and drink. I look to take photographs that I can show off in competitions or exhibitions; these last two certainly are not in that category. The point is that they are still good pictures, that satisfy me and, I hope, you. They show off a place and a time that comes with a story … that story may be a reminder of what you were doing at that time, or it may be a more general story. It doesn’t matter – fine art is not the only thing to do with your camera. Memories matter and the photographs can bring them back powerfully and easily. The Malden Camera Club meets on Thursday evenings at the Library in Kingston Road. We are a friendly group, and love our photography. Come along one evening. You will be very welcome!

To advertise email jenny@maldenmedia.co.uk or call 020 8336 2915

Solutions

Quick Quiz

CodeWord

1. Notts County 2. The Irish Potato Famine 3. Charlotteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Web 4.The Oompa-Loompas (from the book Charlie And The Chocolate Factory) 5. Queen Victoria 6. Casablanca 7. Mr White 8. Johnny Cash 9. Lake Victoria 10. 36 Anagram Pairs 1. hated death 2. startle starlet 3. misdealt medalist 4. versatile relatives 5. lovely volley 6. downloads woodlands 7. beefier freebie 8. teach cheat 9. green genre 10. streamlined derailments

Sudokus

WORDSEARCH Hidden phrase: You cannot have your cake and eat it - Proverb

Crossword

Pictograms Pictograms 1. Short Circuit 2. Basic Instinct 3. The Italian Job

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Organisations Royal British Legion Malden & Coombe Branch As we are fast approaching the time of the Poppy Appeal launch on 28th October, we are asking if any New Malden or Kingston residents would like to join us in selling poppies in New Malden and Kingston area. This can be for only 1 or 2 hours over the 2 week period, up to as many hours of collecting as you want! Our contact details are below and we would love to hear from you. Many people have asked me recently how the money collected is spent. The old thought was that The Royal British Legion is just for Remembrance for World War 1 and 2, in services, concerts, parades etc .This is not so. There are many different ways your money is used to help serving and ex service people. Through members annual support and fundraising, £47.6 million was raised in 2015-16. £49.3 million was spent in 2016-16 to support beneficiaries, including 9,650 who visited Break centres These break centres include family breaks which have close ties with Parkdean and Haven holiday parks and adventure breaks for young people of Service families. The legion has six care homes that provide short and long term care for serving and ex-service people and their dependents. Situated around the country, they offer a wide range of services including four with specialist dementia care. A major part of our welfare work is to provide short and long term care and to make the lives of those who stay there as fulfilling and comfortable as possible. Every care home is exclusive to ex- service people and their dependents. Mais House in Bexhill-on-sea is our nearest care home and Malden and Coombe are arranging at this time to send a donation from the money raised at Malden Fortnight this year to buy a piece of equipment, hopefully in our name. So thank you, residents of New Malden. Without your support these homes could not be maintained and those service personnel not supported. So please support us in the Poppy Appeal this year, either selling or buying Poppies. Every penny will go to provide care and help for those in need who served on our Forces. THANK YOU

Main contact number RBL 08088028080 or locally 07572 390203 or Jan 077900482379 TO THE MEMORY OF THE FALLEN AND THE FUTURE OF THE LIVING You can now follow us on social media: Twitter @MaldenCoombe Facebook Malden and Coombe Royal British Legion

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Please contact the membership secretary for information & application form Annual Membership £18.00 which includes £2.00 branch fee.

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21/09/2015 22/09/2016 Please remember to mention the Village Voice when you speak to our advertisers21/09/2015

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