Telethon Kid / Program (2023)

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JUL – 13 AUG

Malthouse acknowledges the unceded lands of the Kulin Nation. We acknowledge their sovereignty and their Songlines. We pay respect to their Elders and their Children. We embrace and celebrate the oldest culture in the world.

WRITERS NOTE

I’m an interesting person.

That’s the subtext of all these ‘Writer’s Notes’, isn’t it? My fascinating mind pulped some of the more compelling moments from my singular life into an idea so intriguing that we’re charging $80 admission.

Not to brag but… I was interesting straight out the gate (uterus), what with my ragdoll limbs and perfect deadpan ( facial listlessness ).

Doctors quickly ruled out cerebral palsy, spinal damage, all the boring diseases (I’m allowed to say it—some of my best friends have boring diseases).

At 6 months I got a biopsy (i.e. this meaty little chunk from my left thigh) that confirmed muscle disease… but genetic testing couldn’t pin it to any existing myopathy or dystrophy.

It’s not like my doctors were bad. My hometown Perth is the literal hub for smart paediatricians thanks to the annual telethon funneling resources into the kids hospital and all its orbiting research labs.

Per capita, Perth has the world’s second highest donating telethon—no small part thanks to each year’s Telethon Kids—little gaptooth emblems of the good your donation could do. No one really donates to the mere notion of sick kids.

I was never a Telethon Kid myself ( showbiz is all who you know ) but I was interesting enough to pull a few smaller crowds. When I was 11 this world-renowned Canadian neurologist visited my hospital, asking to see any medical mysteries so he could flex some House M.D. diagnostics to a gaggle of six budding student doctors.

I have a vivid memory of stripping to my undies ( de rigeur at this kind of gig ) so he could perform the manual inspection—legs, arms, core, neck, back, etc—for our audience. The best he could muster was that it ‘looked similar’ to something only French Canadians get ( everyone’s cousins up there ), or that I might be ‘something new entirely’ ( pull quote much? ).

After I got dressed and left through the waiting room of a dozen more kids ( all of us oneof-a-kind ) I remembered wondering whether a system that needs so many little chunks from us might have some weird lasting psychological impacts on all our adulthoods.

In hindsight: nah, probs not . Anyway, thank you all for paying $80 to enjoy my tragic little disabled sex-comedy about the medical-industrial complex.

I hope it’s interesting

ALISTAIR BALDWIN / WRITER

DIRECTOR’S NOTE

When Alistair Baldwin & I first met before the initial development of Telethon Kid , it was love at first foyer beer. We talked (for what felt like hours) about pop culture, memes, toxic gays, the medical industrial complex, whether we were Pfizer or Astra Zeneca girlies, and if we could actually get Jess & Lisa (The Veronicas) to attend opening night.

Telethon Kid is an incredible play—it’s obviously hilarious, and beautifully crafted, but its refusal to simplify or provide straightforward answers is what makes it so special. Each character is deeply flawed, and relatable. Sam & Evie offer us two beautifully diverse and complicated experiences of disability, and the work probes our conceptions of agency, consent and power in a late-stage capitalist, ableist system.

During rehearsals, we spoke a lot about what it is like to live in the grey—how experiences and conversations can morph and change based on individual perspectives and the societal constructs that govern us. I’m so grateful to the team for their openness and curiosity—the conversations we had in the development stages and rehearsal room have been integral to the final version you see on stage.

As a director, I’m drawn to works that are not only provocative and challenging, but engaging, entertaining and funny! Telethon Kid straddles (hehe) these two worlds with poise and a wink, and that is a testament to Alistair’s, frankly unfair, talent. Fingers crossed Jess & Lisa get to see it—the first beer is on us.

The Team would also like to say thank you to

ZACHARY PIDD

CAST & CREATIVE

ALISTAIR BALDWIN WRITER

EFFIE NKRUMAH CAST (KT)

RACHEL LEE LIGHTING DESIGNER

ZOE BOESEN DISABILITY CULTURE & ACCESS CONSULTANT

HANNAH FALLOWFIELD DIRECTOR

WILLIAM REES CAST (SAM)

BEAU ESPOSITO COMPOSITION & SOUND DESIGNER

ASHLEY APAP CAST (EVIE)

MARK PRITCHARD DRAMATURG

COINTHA WALKEDEN STAGE MANAGER

MAX BROWN CAST (DOC)

CHRISTINA SMITH SET & COSTUME DESIGNER

AMY CATER INTIMACY COORDINATOR

ADDITIONAL CREATIVES

SUZANNE HEYWOOD / VOCAL COACH

PETER FRITH / VIDEO CREATION

JESSICA SMART / INTERN (STAGE MANAGEMENT)

MIKAILAH LOOKER / INTERN (WARDROBE)

KIARA BROWN / INTERN (SET & COSTUME)

MALTHOUSE STAFF & BOARD

BOARD

FIONA M c GAUCHIE (CHAIR)

JACOB VARGHESE (DEPUTY CHAIR)

JADA ALBERTS

DEBBIE DADON AM

DR ANNA FOLEY

LINDY HUME AM PHD

ANDREW MYER AM

SUE PRESTNEY

PAMELA RABE

MARY VALENTINE AO

ALAN WONG

DANIELLE LEIGH (OBSERVER)

EXECUTIVE

MATTHEW LUTTON OAM

SARAH NEAL

ARTISTIC & PROGRAMMING

ANNIE BOURKE

BERNADETTE FAM

LAURA HALE

LAURA MILKE GARNER

JO REDFEARN

MARLINE ZAIBAK

FINANCE & ADMINISTRATION

NESS HARWOOD

LIZ WHITE

ALLIE STAPLETON

CONNIE STELLA

MARKETING & COMMUNICATIONS

DAVEY SIMMONS

SABRINA ALDAY

KEYANNA BURGHER

LAUREN GALLINA

TAMARAH SCOTT

PUBLICITY

TS PUBLICITY

GRAPHIC DESIGN

HOURS AFTER

DEVELOPMENT

ALEX BELLEMORE

PATRICK CRUMMY

EDUCATION

LYALL BROOKS

TICKETING & BOX OFFICE

PRUE SUTHERLAND

FIONA WISEMAN

BOX OFFICE STAFF

PAUL BUCKLEY

PERRI CUMMINGS

BRONYA DOYLE

CASEY GOULD

MELLITA ILICH

JULIA LANDBERG

ISA MUNHOS

TIM WOODS

LIZ WHITE

PRODUCTION

BLAIR HART

BAIRD MCKENNA

DEXTER VARLEY

ZOE RABB

ROB BALLINGALL

MICHAEL CARR

BRENDAN JELLIE

DELIA SPICER

GOFFREDO MAMELI

ELIZABETH WHITTON

LENNON FOWLER

AL BRILL

PRODUCTION STAFF

TAIT ADAMS

LEIA ALEX

ASH BASHAM

GABE BETHUNE

NATHAN BURMEISTER

MYLES CAREW

KRIS CHAINEY

EDWIN CHEAH

GIDEON COZENS

SANDRA DRUMMOND

NICHOLAS DUNAND

NATHAN EVERS

JO FOLEY

JUSTIN GARDAM

FINN GLEESON

LUKE GRANA

MITCHELL GUNTHORPE

KADIN HAWKER

STEPHEN HAWKER

JODI HOPE

ETHAN HUNTER

LIAM JONES

PATRICK JONES

KHISRAW JONES-SHUKOOR

JACK KENNEDY

MIN KINGHAM

TARAS KOHUT

KARINE LARCHE

LYNDIE LI WAN PO

SAM NIX

CHRIS PAYNE

ASHLEIGH SHEARMAN

IVAN SMITH

JASPER SPICER

EM VAN DYK

NATALIE VINCENT

THEO VINEY

LACHLAN WATTS

OUNIE WITHEROW AITKEN

VENUE

DANIELLE GIORDANO

EMMA CORBETT

STEVE HEARNE

FRONT OF HOUSE STAFF

CAMERON BAJRAKTAREVICHAYWARD

MITCHELL BROTZ

LOUISA CARPINTERI

ISSY COMEGNA

CHIARA GABRIELLI

FIKER GEBREHANA

DANIELLE GODER

ZOE HADLER

CATHERINE HAMILTON

GEORGINA JEFFORD

SOPHIE MCCRAE

HAYLEY NEWMAN

TEXAS NIXON-KAIN

SARAH ONN

ELLIE ROTH

ELLEIA RUSSELL

CLAUDE SARMIENTO

LUCY SEALE

EMMA SHAW

FLYNN SMEATON

BARNEY SPICER

KAIVALYA SUVARNA

KENNY WAITES

LACHLAN WATTS

OLIVE WEEKS

HAYLEY WOLTERS

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