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From The ShadowS to the Light
MeTsA
Foreword by Jan Kounen
From the shadows to the Light
a Healer Journeys into the lands of Shamans a Frenchman with an unusual destiny discovers shamanism following an experience of imminent death. Initiated into a number of indigenous traditions in the amazon as well as North america, he was adopted into these cultures as a follower of venerated healers before becoming a shaman himself. In his Foreword, filmmaker Jan Kounen divulges that he wishes to shoot a movie based on this book.
208 PAGes, 14 x 22 CM, seWN PAPerBACK, IsBN 978-2-84594-121-2
« He is the first Westerner I have ever met who holds the knowledge of an indigenous curandero. » JaN KOuNeN
From the middle-class districts of Paris to the Brazilian favelas, from the suburbs of Medellin to the amazon jungle, and the Peruvian mountains to the North american plains, François Demange tells the amazing story of his personal and spiritual evolution. as a young traveler, he wanders throughout the Orient in search of powerful experiences with nature and psychotropic plants. François then returns to Paris and becomes a heroin addict. He immigrates to colombia, where he falls into a downward spiral of cocaine abuse and survives an extreme overdose. His quest for personal healing – and the healing of others – leads him to the teachings of shamans from various cultures, extraordinary experiences, and an ever-intensifying life. a captivating story. THe aUTHOR François Demange, alias Metsa, the name given him by the Shipibo people of the amazon, or Medicine Bear, as the lakota Indians call him, is a healer recognized by his peers in various Native american cultures. He lives in the united States, where he teaches the practices he has learned throughout his life.
PubLiC reLatioN agnès chalnot +336 20 20 24 78 agnes@chalnot.com WorLDWiDe eNgLisH eDitioN to be PubLisHeD 2017
see THe BOOK DeTaIlS: www.mamaeditions.com/catalogue.html#9782845941212 reCeive a MeDIa reVIew cOPY: presse@mamaeditions.com DoWNLoaD THe BOOK’S reSOurceS (PIcTureS OF THe auTHOr, cOVer VISualS, Free eXcerPTS): www.mamaeditions.com/resources/9782845940284.zip
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From The ShadowS to the Light
Praises He is the first Westerner I have ever met who holds the knowledge of an indigenous curandero. Jan Kounen
A life journey that is rich and interesting. Jeremy Narby
An absolute must-read. A book that not only takes you on an incredible journey, but also teaches you a lot. Laurent Huguelit This heartfelt story shows us that the seeker and the healer are one. Agnès Stevenin
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Reviews
The journey of a Frenchman who became a shaman.
What an amazing adventure (…) A story about extraordinary encounters and healing.
An incredible journey, (…) a vibrant plea in favor of indigenous culture and knowledge.
François Demange is the first Westerner to have been adopted as a shaman by the Lakota Indians of North America.
The incredible story of a man who has lived several lives in one.
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Press re vie w
MAMA ÉDITIONs
De l’ombre à la lumière COMMUNIQUÉ De Presse
COLLeCTION
TÉMOIGNAGes
MeTsA
Préface de Jan Kounen
de l’ombre à la lumière Voyages d’un guérisseur chez les chamanes
c’est à la suite d’une expérience de mort imminente que François Demange découvre le chamanisme. Il nous livre ici le récit captivant d’une initiation hors du commun. D’abord adopté comme apprenti par des guérisseurs reconnus en amazonie et en amérique du Nord, ce français s’immerge au sein de ces cultures traditionnelles et parvient finalement à lui-même devenir chamane.
208 PAGes, 14 x 22 CM, Br. COUsU, ISSN 2109-7240, ISBN 978-2-84594-028-4 • 20 €
« Le premier Occidental que j’ai rencontré qui ait la connaissance d’un curandero indigène. » JaN KOuNeN
« Un must absolu... » laureNT HuGuelIT
PRésenTaTiOn François Demange fait partie de ces hommes dont on peut dire qu’ils vivent plusieurs vie en une. Jeune voyageur, il sillonne l’orient en quête d’émotions fortes, explorant à fond tant la nature sauvage que les effets des plantes psychotropes. De retour à Paris, il tombe dans l’héroïne, avant de partir s’installer en colombie, dans les faubourgs de Medelin, où il plonge bientôt dans la cocaïne et survit in extremis à une overdose. Sa quête de guérison l’amène dès lors à côtoyer les chamanes de diverses cultures, vivant dans la jungle amazonienne et les montagnes du Pérou, ou encore dans les plaines d’amérique du nord. auprès d’eux, au fil d’expériences bouleversantes, il va petit à petit apprendre l’art de soigner, pour lui-même et pour les autres. L’aUTeUR François Demange, alias Metsa pour les Indiens shipibo d’amazonie, ou encore Medicine Bear pour les Indiens lakota, est un guérisseur reconnu par ses pairs dans différentes cultures amérindiennes. Il vit aux états-unis, où il enseigne les connaissances acquises au cours de sa vie.
serviCe De Presse agnès chalnot +336 20 20 24 78 agnes@chalnot.com ParutioN
11 juin 2014
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Livres Hebdo On en parlera
Le premier Occidental à avoir été intronisé chamane par les Indiens Lakota.
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TV5Monde La Une Francophone
Le destin d’un Français devenu chamane.
« Des quartiers bourgeois de Paris aux favelas du Brésil, des faubourgs de Medellín à la jungle amazonienne et des montagnes du Pérou aux plaines d’Amérique du Nord, François Demange raconte son incroyable itinéraire, celui d’un homme qui a vécu plusieurs vies en une. »
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Rêvez livres Témoignages
Une magnifique immersion dans le monde de l’invisible et des guérisseurs. Une leçon de vie et d’espoir. enfance et de son adolescence pour comprendre ce qui l’a mené à cette quête, à l’apprentissage de guérisseur. C’est un récit passionnant et dépaysant qui nous fait voyager de Paris, au Pérou en passant par le Canada, l’Amazonie. Il a rencontré des chamanes de différentes cultures et en a tiré des enseignements uniques. Son témoignage est d’autant plus important car il est porteur d’espoir, il était sur la mauvaise pente, drogue, mal-être et à trouver son salut dans le chamanisme et à remonter la pente. J’ai aimé les descriptions des transes et des diverses expériences par lesquelles il est passé. J’ai aimé l’authenticité et la simplicité qui se dégagent de ce témoignage. Le seul bémol c’est qu’on reste sur sa faim car le livre ne relate que la partie initiation j’aurai aimé avoir des expériences sur la pratique, mais peut-être suis-je trop impatiente et que ce sera pour un autre tome ? En tout cas, je l’espère. J’ai passé un agréable moment de lecture et d’évasion et j’ai apprécié la simplicité et la facilité de lecture.
L’Histoire Ce livre raconte l’histoire d’un Français au destin qui sort de l’ordinaire. Il découvre le chamanisme à la suite d’une expérience de mort imminente. Initié à diverses traditions d’Amazonie et d’Amérique du Nord, il est adopté dans ces différentes cultures comme l’apprenti de guérisseurs reconnus, avant de le devenir luimême. Des quartiers bourgeois de Paris aux favelas du Brésil, des faubourgs de Medellín à la jungle amazonienne et des montagnes du Pérou aux plaines d’Amérique du Nord, François Demange raconte son incroyable itinéraire, celui d’un homme qui a vécu plusieurs vies en une. Jeune voyageur sillonnant l’Orient en quête d’expériences fortes avec la nature ou les plantes psychotropes, François, de retour à Paris, tombe dans l’héroïne. Émigrant en Colombie, il plonge alors dans la spirale de la cocaïne, jusqu’à une overdose à laquelle il survit in extremis. Sa quête de guérison, pour lui-même puis pour les autres, l’a amené à apprendre l’art de soigner auprès de chamanes de diverses cultures, au fil d’expériences bouleversantes et d’une vie toujours plus intense. Il nous livre ici un témoignage captivant.
Verdict Une magnifique immersion dans le monde de l’invisible et des guérisseurs. Magnifique ! Une leçon de vie et d’espoir.
Chris Lilac
Mon ressenti Lu d’une seule traite, un témoignage touchant et poignant dont on ne ressort pas indemne. J’ai aimé en apprendre plus sur la guérison par les plantes. On suit l’auteur de certains événements de son
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Inexploré À lire
Un incroyable parcours, un plaidoyer vibrant pour les savoirs autochtones. « Incroyable parcours que celui de François Demange, dit Metsa — le nom que lui ont donné les Indiens shipibos. Le livre s’ouvre sur son adolescence bohème de jeune bourgeois parisien. Premières découvertes de la drogue : l’herbe, l’héroïne. Premiers voyages, de l’Indonésie au Brésil, à la recherche d’expériences fortes. Premiers états modifiés de conscience, premiers sentiments de se connecter au versant énergétique du monde. Puis l’excès, la spirale du shoot et de la cocaïne, jusqu’à l’overdose. Il survit in extremis. Sa volonté de s’en sortir l’emmène en Amazonie, à la découverte des plantes maîtresses, de leurs pouvoirs et de ceux qui les maîtrisent. Le gaillard s’en sort, et découvre sa voie : guérir, lui aussi, par le végétalisme, le chant, la transe, la connexion au monde spirituel. L’histoire d’un destin, un plaidoyer vibrant pour les savoirs autochtones. »
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Soleil Levant Livres / Éditions
Un témoignage captivant !
Metsa. Voyages d’un guérisseur chez les chamanes Ce Français découvre le chamanisme à la suite d’une expérience de mort imminente, survenue lors d’une overdose de cocaïne. Sa quête de guérison, pour luimême, puis pour les autres, l’a amené à apprendre l’art de soigner auprès de chamanes d’Amazonie et d’Amérique du Nord. Il est adopté et initié dans ces différentes cultures comme l’apprenti de guérisseurs reconnus avant de devenir lui-même chamane. Un témoignage captivant ! François Demange - Mama Éditions - 20€.
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Psychologies Récits
Quelle belle aventure. Un récit de rencontres extraordinaires et de guérison.
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Radio ici et maintenant Antenne libre avec clara
Merci pour ce partage de parcours de vie.
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Le Journal du Yoga à lire
L’incroyable témoignage d’un homme qui a vécu plusieurs vies en une.
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France Dimanche Témoignages
Je me suis toujours senti attiré par le monde des esprits et le mysticisme. Mais notre culture occidentale a perdu ses connaissances ancestrales et tout ce qui s’en approche fait peur ou est jugé trop rapidement. C’est donc à l’étranger que j’ai pu trouver des réponses à mes questions. J’ai reçu ma première claque culturelle en Inde. A 15 ans, loin du milieu bourgeois de ma famille, sac au dos, j’ai découvert un autre monde. Dans la rue, j’ai croisé un sage indien qui m’a paru lire mon âme d’un seul regard. J’ai alors compris qu’il existait une autre façon de voir, de voir au-delà de la vue. Mes recherches spirituelles ont commencé assez jeune avec des livres que ma mère me prêtait. Puis, j’ai essayé des drogues : des champignons, de l’herbe, jusqu’à tomber dans l’héroïne… Grâce à mon père, j’ai voyagé en Indonésie et au Brésil où j’ai côtoyé une prêtresse du candomblé, la religion afro-brésilienne, un peu magique, très présente dans ce pays. Elle m’a aidé mais de retour à Paris, je ne me sentais pas à l’aise et je suis retombé dans l’héroïne… Puis, j’ai rencontré un homme qui avait passé du temps avec les Amérindiens Sioux Lakota. Chez eux, les techniques de soin sont liées à la spiritualité et se pratiquent par la prière et la relation aux éléments, aux esprits. Ensemble, nous avons fait une Sweat lodge, (hutte de sudation) selon un rituel très précis avec des branches de saule plantées dans la terre, recouvertes ensuite de couvertures. Au centre nous avons placées des pierres chaudes, comme dans un sauna. J’ai regardé Michel prier, me « nettoyer ». Cette cérémonie a éveillé ma curiosité mais elle ne m’a pas guéri. L’emprise de la drogue était sans doute trop forte et je n’étais pas prêt. Mais c’est en Colombie quelque temps plus tard où j’avais suivi ma femme que je touche mon fond avec la drogue avec une overdose, j’ai senti que je devais choisir entre la vie ou la mort. Je venais de divorcer et j’étais perdu quand j’ai retrouvé un article de presse que Michel m’avait donné sur un centre au Pérou où un médecin français travaillait avec des toxicomanes en suivant des principes du chamanisme amazonien. Exactement ce que je cherchais ! Grâce à ce programme basé sur le végétalisme, des diètes, de
plantes médicinales que les Indiens d’Amazonie considèrent comme des guides spirituels et à des cérémonies traditionnelles pendant lesquelles j’ai pris de l’ayahuasca, une plante psychotrope interdite en France, qui provoque un état d’hypersensibilité et d’hyperouverture j’ai pu transformer ma toxicomanie. L’ayahuasca, ce ne sont traditionnellement que les guérisseurs qui la boivent, mais j’ai aussi participé. Elle leur permet de visualiser, les émotions et les dysfonctionnements des corps. Je me souviendrai toujours de la première fois. A ma grande surprise, j’ai effectivement visualisé des images de mon corps mais j’ai aussi accédé aux visions des autres participants ce qui est très rare quand on n’est pas chamane ! J’ai voulu apprendre, comprendre. Je suis resté neuf mois au centre, j’en suis sorti sevré et avec la volonté de devenir chamane guérisseur. Je suis allé trouver un indigène shipibo, Guillermo Arevalo Kestenbetsa, rencontré au centre et je lui ai demandé de devenir mon maître d’enseignement. J’ai alors passé des semaines en forêt à boire des racines et des plantes. Peu à peu, j’ai appris le monde des plantes et approché celui des esprits. J’ai commencé à sentir une énergie m’envahir lors des cérémonies et je me suis mis à chanter et à jouer du tambour. Le chant du chamane guide la personne qui reçoit le soin et lui apporte un soutien énergétique. Un rôle qui me fascine toujours autant, au point que j’ai réalisé une étude anthropologique universitaire sur le sujet. Grâce à une amie, j’ai aussi rencontré
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les Sioux Nakota du Canada et, depuis 7 ans, je suis danseur du soleil selon leurs rites. Être blanc au milieu des indigènes et le poids de l’histoire de la colonisation ne m’ont pas aidé à me faire accepter mais ma volonté a fini par convaincre la tribu de ma bonne foi. J’ai suivi l’enseignement d’un grand maître très respecté qui m’a donné le nom de Ours médecine et m’a adopté officiellement ainsi que toute ma famille. Des moments incroyables ! Aujourd’hui, je sais que je suis à ma place. Je peux mener des cérémonies, faire des huttes de sudation, essayer de communiquer avec les esprits… J’ai l’impression que de plus en plus d’occidentaux veulent connaître ces pratiques, alors j’essaie de partager ce que je sais lors de conférences et de stages dans le monde entier. Je veux aussi transmettre l’esprit sacré de ces traditions. Il n’est pas question de me vanter, au contraire, je m’efforce de rester humble. J’ai conscience que devenir chamane est le travail de toute une vie.  François Demange, alias Metsa (Hudson, États-Unis)
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Ça m’interesse
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Après ses années d’apprentissage auprès de guérisseurs shipibos et d’hommes-médecine sioux Iakota, François Demange transmet à son tour les mêmes savoirs.
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Plantes & Santé on en parle
Voyage au cœur de la psyché avec les plantes chamaniques.
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Glamour La quête d’une vie plus proche de la nature.
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Planete Gaïa Livres
Un destin qui sort de l’ordinaire.
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Bio Info
Rencontre / Portrait
Un itinéraire hors du commun.
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Librairie ofR Dédicaces
Tigrane Hadengue, Agnès Stevenin, François Demange (alias Metsa), Michka Seeliger-Chatelain, Jan Kounen
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Metsa & José Garcia, Jan Kounen & Aunt Mary, Tigrane Hadengue, Priscilla Telmon & Michka, Mika de Brito
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Ils en parlent Le premier Occidental que j’ai rencontré qui ait la connaissance d’un curandero indigène. Jan Kounen
Un parcours riche et intéressant. Jeremy Narby
Un must absolu… un livre qui non seulement fait voyager très loin, mais qui, en plus, enseigne. Laurent Huguelit
Ce livre sincère nous rappelle que celui qui cherche et celui qui soigne ne sont qu’un. Agnès Stevenin
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Également dans…
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e xc e r pt s
From the ShadowS to the Light
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT A Healer Journeys to the Lands of Shamans
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From the ShadowS to the Light
Š Mama Publishing (2015) All rights reserved for all countries ISBN 978-2-84594-121-2 Mama Editions, 7 rue PÊtion, 75011 Paris (France)
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From the ShadowS to the Light
METSA
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT A Healer Journeys to the Lands of Shamans Foreword by Jan Kounen
MAMA PUBLISHING
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From the ShadowS to the Light
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From the ShadowS to the Light
FOREWORD
Dear Reader, It is with real pleasure that I write these few words before letting you begin your journey with François on this rollercoaster of a story, as he tells it. I won’t reveal too much since you are about to embark on this adventure; instead, I’ll tell you a bit about the author. I met François in Iquitos at the Espiritu de Anaconda Center a little over ten years ago. Guillermo had often mentioned him. To begin with, it was great to finally meet another of Guillermo’s students, someone who wasn’t a native, and a Frenchman to boot. François had followed the path for longer than I had, and he had years of the shaman diet and practices under his belt. The first impression I had of him was of a lively, dynamic, funny guy with a steely glare and a mischievous smile. He was altogether rather intimidating. The very same night we met, we had our first ceremony with “The Boss” (that’s my nickname for Guillermo). At the height of the “trip,” I tighten my butt cheeks to resist going off on a rather violent tangent. In the dark and inhabited maloca, I hear sounds of vomiting, nervous giggling, sighing, and crying…. Amidst this chaos, while attempting to redress my tailspin with a prayer, I become aware of a large, imposing man moving toward me slightly unsteadily. He stops right in front of me and sits down. Humph! One of the healers must have noticed my confusion, and I prepare to receive a chant. It’s as if your boat has just capsized and you find yourself holding onto the tiny No Way Back’s life preserver; it’s your only chance—you are alone
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FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT and adrift in a raging sea, and then suddenly you hear the distant beating of helicopter blades and it’s the civil aviation craft come to save you. All is not lost, just grab onto the lifeline and concentrate! This chant is my lifeline, and I grab onto it with all my strength. And then it happens: The visions darken, but it is actually a catharsis. With no hesitation I walk on, through the closed windows of suburbs filled with demons, guided perfectly and calmly and emerging upon a bucolic clearing. An idea forms in my drunken spirit: “When a driver’s vehicle is out of control, instead of resisting the spin he must accelerate to retrieve momentum and regain control.” And that’s what the chant does; it has saved me from hell and catapulted me back into the starry sky, instead of leaving me alone in my underwear in “Demon City.” I don’t recognize the voice of the person chanting to me in the Shipibo language; it’s neither Guillermo nor the other healer present in the maloca. I open one eye slightly and discover it is François. Enough to make your head spin, no? This is the first time I hear a Westerner chanting and using Shipibo medicine knowledgeably during such a ceremony—so well that he could be confused with an indigenous healer. Later on, reading his book, I began to understand why he is so good at guiding a person out of the darkest, deepest roots of the spirit: he has spent a long time in Demon City. You have to realize that at one time he was the only Westerner who had knowledge of these practices. He guided me well, and he still guides me in my spiritual journey with this medicine. With the Shipibo, most of the spiritual knowledge is transmitted during ceremonies. It passes through the energy of the chants with very little explanation or commentary. For a Westerner, it is a confusing learning process. But with François, I could communicate. At times, his description of the attitudes to adopt while having certain visions, or during a more intense trip, has really helped me.
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FOREWORD François also uses Reiki techniques in his healing practice. To receive this type of treatment while you are completely under the spell of visions is a little like being awake during a particularly dangerous surgical procedure, not including the scalpel. I remember a time when he put both his hands on my ears, without chanting. I felt as though my hard skull was being flooded with the purest revitalizing water, and I had visions of cathedrals filled with light. Over time, our friendship has grown and solidified. In Shipibo medicine, deep trust is earned little by little, ceremony by ceremony. It took me a year to allow François to teach me about the plants that he had absorbed exclusively for long periods of time in order to learn their teachings; for example, toé, which can intoxicate a person like nothing else. I have great admiration for the extent to which he is willing to throw himself into the most intense effects of these medicines, as only indigenous peoples know how to do. Later on, I accompanied François on several trips to South America. There, I got to see him leading ceremonies. He has his own unique way of doing things, in which he combines Shipibo, Quechua, and Lakota teachings. He has no qualms about grabbing his drum and performing a powerful chant learned from the Plains Indians of North America; I guarantee that once you are under the influence of ayahuasca, this is very effective (bien fuerte)! Traveling with him is a great adventure, and reading this book came as quite a shock. I knew that François had experienced an eventful life and had problems with addiction. However, having met him through the practice of indigenous medicines, I had no knowledge of his other life experiences, those he describes in this book, including the tremendous violence and chaotic insanity he has gone through. François is a survivor, a miracle man. So many like him have died along the way in the abysmal descent caused by the injection of such poisons. But it is also this experience that has
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From the ShadowS to the Light
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT given him his particular power: he knows all the insiders’ tricks at the “Demon City Casino.” He can bring you back from there without getting you lost. François’ experience has become a validation of indigenous medicine. His path is also a bridge to the future, to a time when we will no longer rely on the aid of plants for internal healing but have the knowledge to use meditation to heal ourselves. The master plants are guides that open the way, but as with any master, after the knowledge has been acquired, emancipation must follow. As a filmmaker, this book has given me the desire to produce a film based on François’ tumultuous life story. From the shadow to the light, the book wears its name well. It would make one hell of a film! So, quick! Let’s sign that contract! I, the undersigned, Jan Kounen, residing close by, if agreed to by Mr. Metsa, who resides somewhere in the jungle or in the universe, and by the boys and girls at Mama Editions, would like to hereby take shamanic options on the cinematic adaptation rights to this book. Signed in Paris on this 2nd day of March 2014. Note: Any film producer may, upon reading this book, contact the publisher in view of drawing up a formal agreement with the above-mentioned parties. Thank you, François, for this extraordinary story. Thank you for your support all these years, your good humor, your energy, your laughter, and your medicine. See you soon, Metsa. Tss tss tsss…
Jan Kounen
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PRESENTATION
My name is François Demange. It is also Metsa Niwue, which means “Beautiful Wind” or “Good Wind.” This is my Shipibo healer name, my “shamanic” name, to use a Western expression. This second name was given to me by the plant spirits, as told to me by my master, Guillermo Arevalo, who is also known as Kestenbetsa, or “Echo of the Universe.” Son, grandson, and great-grandson of healers, Guillermo is a Shipibo Indian from the Ucayali region, in the Peruvian Amazon, whose teachings I have followed. I was born on January 1, 1968. From 1996 to 2010, I studied the vegetalismo healing practices of the Amazon. I experienced many things, first in Peru at the Takiwasi Center, and then later with the Quechua Lamista people of the San Martin region. An Aguaruna Indian also had some influence on me, but my training in these traditional medicines is based for the most part upon the teachings of my Shipibo master and what I have learned from plants, above all ayahuasca. This practice enables self-discovery, builds on the connection we have to the spiritual world, and allows for communication with vegetal intelligence. I also have a Dakota name, Pijuta Mato, in other words “Bear Medicine.” For the past seven years, I have been traveling the Red Path and receiving the teachings of the Dakota Sioux. I am a sun dancer and I carry the chanupa, or sacred peace pipe. To my great surprise, at the end of a four-year cycle of sun dancing in July 2010, I was adopted by Eagle Claw—Keith Pashe —a Dakota medicine man who also happens to be the chief of my sun dance. He honored me by making me his blood brother, a member of his family and his clan. My wife and I have also been adopted by Frank Iron Eagle, a Nakota elder.
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FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT I have also had the great good fortune to forge connections in the academic world in Peru and, with the help of close friends, acquire a master’s degree in anthropology at the University of East London. During the course of my journeys, I got to know a Reiki master who opened me to universal energy transmission. Weaving together all these languages, I work with my native brothers and lend them my support. Having become a healer, it is my intention to transmit a different perception of the world of plants, nature, and selfknowledge to the Western world from which I came. Above all, I am aware that I know nothing.
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A CHILDHOOD DREAM
A CHILDHOOD DREAM
While going to boarding school at the age of twelve or thirteen, I had a dream. Away from the comfort and security of home, it is normal to feel lonely, and I did. My parents divorced when I was three, and I suffered a great deal at being separated from my mother. I did poorly in school and was unhappy living far away from my siblings. I was the youngest and did not live up to my father’s expectations. I was loved but had a difficult time finding my place in life and already had a lot of unanswered questions. My mother often talked to me about reincarnation, meditation, yoga, and particularly the third eye. She opened me up to a different perception of spirituality than the one I was receiving in the Christian school in which I was enrolled. I listened avidly to her with a real desire to comprehend, real curiosity, and the desire to experience the things she talked about. When I think of it now, I really can see the first fruits of the desire for spiritual discovery that animates me to this day. My mother gave me a book to read, The Third Eye by Lobsang Rampa, which struck a deep chord. In it, the author talks about the techniques of astral travel and reaching a state of meditation through controlled breathing with the intention of leaving the physical body. After finishing the book, I immediately wanted to practice his methods and see if I was able to leave my body. That night, once all the lights were out at about ten o’clock, lying in my bed in the large dormitory in which our “private rooms” were actually no more than cubicles separated by curtains, I attempted the experiment. Under the covers, my eyes rolling upward, I took a deep breath, concentrated, and imagined I was leaving my body.
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From the ShadowS to the Light
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT Little by little, I felt as though a strange force was taking over, and I felt a kind of departure. But right away, I was filled with fear; my mind started racing and my heart began to palpitate. This immediate response prevented me from going through completely with my experiment. However, several days later, I had a similar dream. I dreamed that I left my body and reached the astral plane as it is described in the book. I saw myself floating and traveling above colorful fields of wheat and barley. I flew, and birds, animals, everything was extraordinarily colorful. There was a kind of peace, and I traveled for a long time over different countries, over the Earth itself. I woke up with the impression of having made my dream come true, at least partially. This was perhaps my first shamanic initiation, although I didn’t recognize it as such at the time. I had achieved my goal of astral travel through a dream, whereas my conscious efforts had been met with fear and prevented from fulfillment. This opening through the dream state attests to a certain facility I had, even in childhood, to perceive other worlds, and I had reached it without outside help. But I told no one about this and kept the secret well hidden.
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From the ShadowS to the Light
KATMANDOU—THE EYES OF THE SÂDHU
KATMANDOU—THE EYES OF THE SÂDHU
I was barely fifteen when my father suggested, at the last minute, that I accompany my brother Philippe to India and Nepal instead of the friend who had stood him up. Philippe was twenty-one years old at the time, and he agreed. I was so excited to be going with my brother. We departed on July 1, 1983 for a six-week trip, heading first to Delhi and then Katmandu. There, I got a real slap in the face. I did not understand how things worked in India; I did not understand Indians. I had no bearings; I was lost. This was my first trip to a country whose culture was so different from my own. I was very young, without my parents, and my brother was my only company. We traveled with our backpacks in terrible conditions. When we arrived in Katmandu, I got very sick with giardia and lost fifteen pounds. Once I felt better, I took off one beautiful day all by myself. There I was with my little map, wandering the streets, attentive to everything I saw and smelled as I went. I observed merchants, passersby, rickshaws, the smells of incense, children playing, and the crowds. I walked on and was soon outside of the neighborhood where we were staying. Suddenly, I was on a large square. The many statues and colorful temples were impressive. Mystified by all the movement, the odors and colors, the heat, and the size of the town, I walked slowly, observing everything. In the center of the square, about 100 feet from where I was standing, there was a sâdhu, a holy man—one who lives in isolation, prayer, and meditation. He had his back turned to me, and I could only see his long dreadlocks, but once I got closer he turned and looked at me. His eyes were lined with kohl, and his third eye was drawn with yellow ochre and a little bit of gold. His face was colored with red ochre.
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From the ShadowS to the Light
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT He had a slight smile on his lips, and I felt his stare, which was so intense that it penetrated me to the depths of my soul. There I was, wearing my little polo shirt, shorts, and hiking shoes. I found myself transfixed by his smile and penetrating look that read my soul and saw into the deepest part of my heart. I could not move, and everything around me disappeared. I was completely under the power of that stare, and then I had to just turn around and walk away. I was convinced that he could read the hearts of men, and I felt so much admiration for the power of this man, who knew exactly who I was, where I came from, and what I was doing just by looking at me. I had discovered another way of seeing things, of seeing beyond sight, to see into vision, into feelings. This memory has remained with me.
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From the ShadowS to the Light
INDONESIA:FIRSTEXPERIMENTSWITHHALLUCINOGENICMUSHROOMS
INDONESIA: FIRST EXPERIMENTS WITH HALLUCINOGENIC MUSHROOMS
At the age of eighteen, I was on a spiritual path, but it was quite unfocused. Stories about shamans, anecdotal things about African sorcerers (marabouts, or holy men) told to me by my school friends, the third eye, astral travels, all this fascinated me. But aside from my mother, I had no one to help me understand. I went to a Dominican boarding school, and religion dominated my culture and social life, yet none of it really had anything to do with spirituality. Like many kids my age, I was able to reach levels of consciousness beyond the ordinary by smoking hashish. Once I began these small attempts, I started to experience the natural elements, the forces of the Earth, and Nature much more than I had before. It was as though I was already reaching a kind of comprehension of the spiritual language that surrounds us. Of course, it is possible to reach this state in a normal state of consciousness through certain practices or people who can lead you on this type of journey. But I had no such help, and my only “tool” was smoking a joint. When I obtained my French baccalaureate degree, I left for Indonesia to join my father and brother, who had become a “coopérant” (young person working for the state in lieu of military service). In Bali, I took my first hallucinogenic mushrooms. Obviously, at the time, I had no idea that psilocybins were used by the Toltec cultures and the Mazatec cultures of Mexico, and also in therapy sessions, in order to communicate with the spiritual world. I also had no idea that Borneo and other Indonesian islands had developed a great shamanic culture in which the world of spirits is extremely present.
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From the ShadowS to the Light
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Presentation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 My Childhood Dream . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Katmandu: The Eyes of the Sâdhu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Indonesia: First Experiments with Hallucinogenic Mushrooms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Paris. The Army and Dope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Second Trip to Indonesia: Lake Toba . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Back in Paris: The Contrast Between Two Societies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Departure for Brazil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Brazil: Trancoso and Caraiva. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Salvador da Bahia, Capoeira, Dona Lurdes, and the Candomblé Religion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Return to Paris. Father’s Death. Hooked on Heroin. First Sweat lodge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Colombia, Divorce, and Cocaine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 Departure: Discovery of Ayahuasca. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 Discovering Chacra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
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From the ShadowS to the Light
FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE LIGHT The Body is a Temple . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Dreams and the Sweat Lodge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 A Revelation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 A New Chapter in My Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 A New Encounter with Guillermo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127 The Andes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139 Meeting Dave: Canada . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145 The Red Path . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153 Vision Quest . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157 Sun Dance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165 My Name and Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172 Full Circle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179 Aho!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
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