HELL TO HARMONY

April is National Autism Awareness Month and with an estimated 30 to 40 percent of the Australian population being neurodiverse and 1 in 5-6 children having variations in their brain development, this is something many families are grappling with. These variations include those seen in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism and dyslexia.

Nicola Dore, mother of two neurodivergent children, has experienced her fair share of anxiety and loneliness while her boys yelled, thumped and threw items while she locked herself in the bathroom.

Determined to improve family harmony and help the whole family feel more in control, Nicola created The Brain Sanctuary Family Journal in consultation with psychologists Catherine Thornton and Marnie Holden. It’s designed as a tool to help families understand how each other’s brains work, with the goal of setting family members up for success.

“In helping my boys manage their emotions, I felt there was a gap between therapy sessions and what happens at home. My gut told me that with ongoing communication between everyone in the family, not only would we have a better understanding of each other, but it would allow us to create family rituals with our boys’ specific needs in mind.”

The journal is designed to be used as a family tool and provides space for everyone to put their thoughts and feelings into words. It helps neurodiverse family members learn about their strengths and provides tools to help them get through the part of life that may not make sense to them or seem pointless.

Nicola explains the brain as a house method which comes from Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s book, “The Whole Brain Child”, to creating more harmony in a neurodiverse household:

1. The top floor – my body feels calm

I am happy and safe. This floor is where we can do our thinking and feel happiest. A great thing to ask yourself is what keeps me on this level, is it music, movement, colouring, exploring in nature? Knowing this can help you get back to this floor when you need to.

2. The middle floor – My body feels activated

I feel angry, stressed, anxious and frustrated. This floor is where we go when we feel a threat coming on and where we choose flight or fight. This is the floor you will see meltdowns and very “big” behaviours.

3. The basement – my body feels slow or still

I am sad and numb. This floor is where we go when things are too much, our body shuts down and we can no longer move forward without a break. Someone who is stuck on this floor will seem depressed and withdrawn. As a family, by asking each other questions about when you find yourself at the top, middle or bottom floor you can help each other move between the floors in a calmer, less threatening manner.

It is important to remember that it is completely normal to move between the different levels of the house throughout the day so we don’t always have to “fix” someone. We just don’t want to get stuck in the bottom two levels for too long.

This is just one of many tools provided in the journal to help neurodiverse families create more understanding between each other and family harmony as a result. The Brain Sanctuary Journal is available for $59.95 and can be claimed under NDIS Capacity Building.

You can find out more information here: www.thebrainsanctuary.com.au