Bayside MamaMag Feb/Mar 2019 by MamaMag

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mamaMAG Feb/Mar 2019

WIN famIly tIckets to legolandÂŽ dIscovery centre Adventurous mums Market mama The drop off The mummy matters Successful praise

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schools back! Did you make it? Did you survive? Summer school holidays can be such a battle for many working mamas. Whilst some of you are not at that stage of term-based education yet, others know the juggle is all too real, sending kids off to grand parents, friends, holiday programs and the like. I think we all deserve a holiday after the school holidays! Thankfully for me the benefits of a good divorce mean I get the first two week of January off every year. Whilst the kids holiday with their Dad I get back to work producing the first mag for the year and working whatever hours I fancy! As I write this, I haven’t seen my kids in 16 days. I’ll pick them up tomorrow morning once I get this baby to the printers and I simply can’t wait for their giant Mummy cuddles. I’ve got a good feeling about this year. I’m not sure what it is but it gives me a sense of excitement. I know it’s going to be a great year at MamaMag. I’ve got a really awesome little team in place now who not only help inspire me, but also make creating this little mag so much more fun. Girls to have a chat to in the office, a sneaky lunch here and there, experts in all the local areas I’m ‘not expert’ in, after all Mama can’t live everywhere! I’ve included a little pic of us enjoying our end of year lunch celebration! Can’t wait for the next catch up! So what else is 2019 bringing you? Perhaps you have a preppie hitting school for the first time. I remember that like it was yesterday. But now my ‘baby’ is going into grade 3. How time flies. Not ready for school? If you’re popping your littlies into childcare for the first time, we’ve got some great articles to help you with that transition. Just remember, they will have a ball. There will probably be more tears from you, not them!! What about a holiday in 2019? Our upcoming April/May issue is themed ‘Home & Holidays’, so we will be sure to bring you some fun ideas. I still haven’t told you about all the mumcation fun I had in Bali last year! Got any other places you’d like to learn about? Let me know by email and I’ll do some digging! Until then, xxxx.

@localmamamag

Local fun for everyone • Bayside • Eastside • Northside • Westside

WIN

Contents Adventurous mums

Theme park sisters

Parklife 8 George Pentland Botanic Gardens

This little mama went to market 10 Local farmers’ market wrap-up

Separation success

Childcare anxiety

The power of play

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Key skills from pre-school play

The Drop Off

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Meet the couple behind the show

Mama can cook

Tasty treats from Mel Katz

The mummy matters

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Entries are open to Victorian residents only. Competition starts Feb 1st 12.01am and closes Feb 28th 2019 at 11.59pm. Prizes are not transferrable or redeemable for cash. Visit www.mamamag.com.au/competitions for full terms and conditions.

Laughs with Libby Gorr

Turn the page Mama’s top book picks

Prepare for childcare

The nerve wracking event

The secrets of successful praise 36 Praise is powerful

If the show fits

Pick the perfect school shoe

99 au pairs

A mum’s story of au pairs

Bonjour! 44 French foundations

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Leap into childcare Helping your child adjust

For more info visit legolanddiscoverycentre.com.au MamaMag® is published bi-monthly for the mums of Melbourne’s South by Grizzle Design Pty Ltd ABN: 26 042 138 550. PO Box 8018 Brighton East 3187 Phone: 1300 771 446 Email: info@mamamag.com.au www.mamamag.com.au | www.grizzledesign.com.au

12,500 copies per issue distributed bi-monthly across Melbourne’s South with 50,000 copies in total across all four MamaMag areas: Bayside • Eastside • Northside • Westside. Editor in Chief: Sarah Cavalier sarah@mamamag.com.au Bayside Advertising Manager: Daniela Simonetta: daniela@mamamag.com.au Local Key Account Manager: Olivia Wilson: olivia@mamamag.com.au National Key Account Manager: Clare Betts: clare@mamamag.com.au Want to write for us or have an article idea? submissions@mamamag.com.au The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publishing staff. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without permission of the publishers.

MamaMag Feb/Mar 2019

Health related articles are designed to be informative and educational. They are not intended to provide specific medical advice or replace one-on-one advice from your health practitioner.

adventurous mums Mama has always loved uncovering fabulous mums running businesses and supporting their families, so you can only imagine my excitement when I discovered Victoria’s biggest water theme park is run by not one, but three fantastic mums, who are also sisters! Sisters Leanne, Carla and Bree are a true example of a modern family run business. Started by their father, now with five children of their own between them, the girls skillfully juggle motherhood and running a company and have created their own child friendly workplace culture. We chat to Leanne about life running a theme park.

Can you quickly tell us a little bit about each of your own families? Who are you kids and how old are they? I have a daughter aged 17 months, Bree has three boys aged 6, 4 and 2.5 and Carla has a little girl who is almost two.

Adventure Park started around 22 years ago with your parents. Can you tell us how it all began? Our parents always had a love for tourism and the park started off with a small lake with boats and some archery. It all slowly expanded from there.

Did you all grow up knowing you would one day be involved in the park, or did any of you have other career aspirations? We originally all did different degrees at university and I then went into the banking sector. We all pursued different fields to begin with, but we loved tourism, like Mum and Dad, and eventually came back to the park. We love 6

having a job in Geelong, close to family and the Surf Coast. In the end it came back to our passion to see the park grow and our love of being close to family.

What is the most exciting thing about running a theme park (besides making thousands of families smile every day)? The thing that I love most is that it is such a fun, positive, joyful place to work, where everyone is happy all the time. Who doesn’t want to work in a place like that?

What unique aspects have you added into the park to ensure it is the best family-friendly theme park in Victoria? A really important thing for families visiting the park is ensuring there is plenty of shade for them. We have installed lots of free undercover seating and shaded areas and if you really want to splash out and stay out of the sun you can hire one of our special poolside cabanas! We also have drinking taps around the park where you can refill your water bottles which I think is really important for a full family day out. Hydration is so important, especially in the Summer heat. We’ve got a number of different food and beverage options to suit everyone as well as the popular Ice Cream Parlour and Candy Land for a treat. But we also welcome guests to bring their own food and drink into the park (just no glass or alcohol), which many other theme parks don’t, and we also have BBQ facilities onsite for families to use. We’ve also made sure that there are a big range of rides that are suitable to kids of all ages, so nobody misses out. Rides are based on height, not age, and over half of the rides at Adventure Park require no contact with water so they are a perfect way to spend the day when the weather is a bit colder. But you are also more than welcome to bring a wetsuit for the water rides

in order to stay warm when it’s not so warm out.

With younger children not yet at school, how do you each juggle working and child care arrangements? Bree’s oldest two are at school and kinder, but the rest of the crew are little and are looked after by a nanny. We have a full-time nanny that the three of us share which works out brilliantly. Photo credit: Rebecca Adam & Bellarine Times.

What are your children’s favourite things about the park? They can’t get enough of Bonito’s Bay and Tiny Tot’s Splashzone, as being little still these waterplay areas are simply perfect for them on a hot day.

What do you love doing with your kids when you are not working? Hitting one of the amazing beaches around the coast of course!

And finally, what is the best and worst thing about working with your sisters? It’s actually brilliant working with my sisters. We are all very different but have the same vision and passion for what we do. Meetings are very honest and to the point that you can just cut through the red tape and get things done quicker. Adventure Park is at 1249 Bellarine Highway in Wallington, just outside of Geelong. Find out more at adventurepark.com.au.

Parklife George Pentland Botanic Gardens

The newly opened playground at the George Pentland Botanic Gardens is simply a hidden oasis in the middle of Frankston. This great new play space is the perfect compliment to the lush green grassy hills and gardens. If you’ve got some kids dying to burn some energy, it’s well worth a visit.

contraption and of course the great all-ablilities spinning ground level platform we’ve seen popping up a bit which sure to send a few kids flying! There is a large sandpit for smaller kids who might struggle with some of the bigger equipment and there are also some cute springer rides for them as well.

The main feature is the tree like structure, complete with branches, a cubby/hidey-hole underneath, a large twisted green slide and plenty of enclosed levels and cargo nets to climb between.

Kids will also enjoy exploring the gardens and the ornamental lake, but it’s not fenced so ensure you supervise children at all times. There are also picnic and barbecue facilities throughout the gardens

There are some fancy new play inclusions we’ve never come across like a large rope swinging thing, reminiscent of a human sized Newtons Cradle, which can occupy many kids at once. There is also a giant a cargo net/see-saw like

Gate opening/closing times: 7am - 9pm November to March 7am - 6pm April to October

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THIS lIttle MAMA New Years resolution to feed your family better food? Why not hit your local farmers’ market and buy fresh locally grown produce and value added products direct from the farm. It doesn’t get fresher or better than that.

Bayside Farmers’ Market The Bayside Farmers’ Market has over 50 stalls of the ‘very best’ in local fresh food and goodies and is run with the assistance of the Rotary Club of Hampton. There is always a petting zoo for the kids and a host of amazing stalls. Plenty of free parking available, especially if you have a Bayside Beach Permit, however Mama recommends parking at the quieter Sandringham Football Club and walking the short distance along the cliff top path, because the view of the yacht club and beyond is to simply stunning! 3rd Saturday of each month, 8am-1pm. Trey Bit Reserve, Jetty Rd, Sandringham.

Beaumaris Farmers Market Originally hosted at Sandringham Secondary College, the market has moved to North Beaumaris Primary School with the redevelopment of the new Beaumaris Secondary College on the Sandy High site. Amidst the beautiful gum treed setting of the school grounds come and enjoy the myriad of high class wares from dozens of providers. Start the morning with a coffee and an egg &

bacon roll then continue your shopping for organic vegetables, speciality breads, pastas, meats and many more gourmet items. You can even have your knives sharpened. Bring your children to the petting zoo and take your dogs for a stroll (on leash of course). It is a great community meeting place. 2nd Saturday of each month, 8am-1pm. North Beaumaris Primary School, 194 Reserve Road, Beaumaris.

Bentleigh Farmers’ Market East Bentleigh Primary School was a market garden area until the 1950s, and horses would haul carts full of fresh vegies from the area into Melbourne. The market, in conjunction with the Stephanie Alexander Kitchen program, embraces the schools philosophy of creating a nurturing environment for the students to learn and grow. Entry is by $2 donation with funds collected to be directed to the school garden program. 4th Saturday of each month, 8am-12.30pm. 90 Bignell Road, Bentleigh East.

Gasworks farmers’ Market Revel in local produce from stallholders who have a simple philosophy; that their goods are grown, made and known by those who sell them and that the quality of produce is of the utmost importance.

WENT TO MARKET 3rd Saturday of the month, 8am-1pm. Gasworks Arts Park, 21 Graham Street, Albert Park.

Caulfield Farmers’ Market Enjoy items such as artisan breads, handcrafted wines, honey, free range eggs, cheeses, olive oil, jams and preserves, seasonal fruit and vegetables, herbs, nuts, fresh and cured meats, poultry, plants, fresh flowers and much more. 2nd Saturday of every month , 9am-1pm. Glen Huntly Primary School, 166 Grange Road, Glen Huntly.

Kingston Farmers’ Market This market is run by the City of Kingston in conjunction with the Rotary Club of Chelsea. It started in 2004 and has a loyal following of regular shoppers who come along each month regardless of the weather. There are around 65 stallholders with a wide range of farm fresh produce for you to enjoy. 1st Saturday of the month, 8am-12.30pm. Sir William Fry Reserve, Nepean Hwy, Highett

Veg Out | St Kilda Farmers’ Market This community run authentic farmers’ market features Victorian growers and artisan makers only, including many from the Veg Out Community Gardens! Veg Out is an organic, chemical free garden market run by volunteers behind Acland St, near Luna Park. Shop up a storm then explore and enjoy the community gardens while you are there. 1st Saturday of the month, 8.30am-1pm. Peanut Farm Reserve, Chaucer Street, St Kilda.

Mornington Farmers’ Market The market showcases a range of produce from the Mornington Peninsula and regional Victoria including organic vegetables & fruit, sourdough breads, local mussels, grass-fed meats, cheeses, free-range eggs, home-made conserves, olive oil, sweet treats and much much more! Market shoppers can enjoy the tunes of local musicians while they peruse the stalls. Hot food and good coffee is available at each and every market

St Kilda Primary Farmers’ Market

2nd Saturday of the month, 8.30am-1pm. Schnapper Point Drive, Mornington.

If your kids were fans of the ABC KIDS show Little Lunch, they will love this market at the school the show was filmed at. Kids can play on the school play equipment while you shop the fresh produce and artisan breads.

Hank Marvin Market

4th Saturday of the month, 8.30am-1pm.St Kilda Primary School, 2B Brighton Rd, St Kilda.

Not just produce, Hank Marvin features top notch street food, fine produce and gifts. It has a pop up outdoor dining hall designed to protect customers from the elements and is all about offering consistently great street food and interesting fresh produce within a relaxed, picturesque setting. Bring the family, your dog on a lead and enjoy a few hours eating like a queen and soaking up the fun atmosphere. Saturdays 9am-3pm Alma Park East, St Kilda East. Sundays 9am-3pm Dendy Park, Brighton East.

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Going on a centre tour? Here are some considerations to observe or ask about when you’re on your centre tour: • Does the centre have a happy and energetic vibe? • Are the staff passionate, qualified and experienced? • Does the centre have a plan to ensure families receive regular communication about their child’s development? • Does the educational program cater to the needs of children at different stages of development?

• What are the steps or processes taken to ensure children’s safety and wellbeing? • How is the environment designed to stimulate learning? • How does the centre work with families to understand needs, routines or cultural practices? • Do staff receive regular training and professional development opportunities?

Separation success Tips for managing separation anxiety in children when starting childcare.

Temper tantrums, hysterical tears, dramatic clinging. Separation anxiety might not be the most charming aspect of your toddler’s development but it is your child’s way of expressing how much they don’t want to say goodbye. Although it may not seem like it when you are dealing with an upset child, separation anxiety is also a good thing. Your child’s unwillingness to leave you is a great sign that the two of you have developed healthy attachments. When babies become more aware of their separate selves, they discover that you can actually leave them. And they can start to worry about being away from you. Your presence helps them feel safe in a world that is still largely foreign to them. Separation anxiety normally starts around 7 to 8 months of age. Although it generally peaks at 14 to 18 months old, it can last until 2.5 to 4 years old. But it usually settles down as your child grows older and more confident. The symptoms of separation anxiety in toddlers can appear in any number of ways, including your child: • Crying, screaming, whimpering, or frowning • Becoming more clingy • Losing interest in people or play time • Playing with the same toy over and over again • Waking and crying during the night more than usual • Waking up early and not falling asleep again unless you’re there • Crying when left with someone else. It is never easy leaving your child when they are upset, especially beginning childcare, teary scenes actually help your child bond with their new educators, and develop their own coping

skills, resilience and independence in a safe and supportive environment. Each child reacts to separation anxiety differently. Even their reactions can vary from one day to the next. Some children don’t show any anxiety in the first weeks of child care. It only begins to appear when the novelty of the situation has worn off. Others save their meltdowns till after pickup time (lucky you!). This is because your return reminds your child of how they felt when you left. There isn’t a magic formula or ‘one size fits all’ approach to ease separation anxiety, but we do have a few tips that may help you and your child deal with it when they’re starting at childcare.

1. Prepare your child Visit your childcare with your child before they start. Where possible, keep the first few days short and then build up the hours over time. Talk to your child about what will happen when they go to the centre, reassure them you’ll be back, and talk about what you can do when you see each other again.

2. Work together with your child’s educator Discuss with your Educators on strategies that will help ease the transition into child care. It’s important to share information with them so they know what’s happening with you and your child and vice versa what they have planned for the day.

3. Build trust Make sure you say goodbye to your child and let them know when you’ll be back. Try to keep the goodbye short, as lengthy goodbyes can actually make children more upset. Don’t ignore your child’s distress – respond and comfort them. The important thing is to find a balance between supporting your child and giving them the chance to gain experience managing how they feel.

4. Build feelings of safety Try and be as calm as possible. If you’re calm, your child will feel more secure. Reassure them that it’s OK to miss you or feel sad, and that they will be fine. But don’t dwell on these feelings.

By Jenny Kable – Early Childhood Educator and Curriculum Manager, Only About Children Early Learning & Kindergarten. www.oac.edu.au

5. Establish a regular goodbye routine Routines add a comforting predictability to your child’s day because they’ll know what happens next. In the long run a predictable routine can lessen the anxiety of daily separations. Some parents choose to read a book or engage in a single activity with their child each morning and then have a consistent spot for saying goodbye.

6. Take the time and effort to reconnect An adjustment that parents frequently overlook is pick-up time. Your child must now transition from the campus back to your care. Children often greet their parents with confused emotions: a mingling of happiness to see you, anger that you left in the first place, and a desire to stay longer. When you pick up your child, spend extra time with them to reconnect again. Find a quiet time to discuss with your child what they saw and did, and what was familiar or different from your home setting.

7. Pay attention to your own feelings Be aware of your emotions, such as apprehension, guilt, or ambivalence. Remember that your child looks to you for the reassurance that they are safe and that you are confident about their ability to adjust to a new environment. Finally, it might be helpful to keep in mind that adults also experience distress when separated from significant others, although we don’t usually find it as overwhelming as children do. Think of the last time you said goodbye to a loved one at the airport, knowing there was going to be a long separation ahead. Those feelings of sadness are similar to what your child feels, except they don’t yet understand when you’ll be returning.

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The Power of Play What are the key skills that preschoolers are taking home from child-led play? Preschool is an exciting fun time for young children and their parents! It’s that age where children are eager to learn about the world around them and take in new skills. Here are the key skills children are taking home from the play experiences of; modelling clay, water play, cooking and painting crafts.

Modelling Clay • Children learn about shapes: Shapes can be learned from different cookie cutter shapes. • Imagination: Children are eager to imagine the different creatures they build with modelling clay such as a flying dog or a purple snake. This encourages children to formulate their own ideas and descriptions. • Motor skill development: As children knead the modelling clay and use the rolling pins, and cookie cutters to press down shapes, they are strengthening their hands which contributes to developing their muscles to later prepare them for writing.

Water Play • Measuring: Children are learning what is a full cup, half full cup, a spoon full, a bucket full etc. • Problem solving: Children are learning to react to scenarios such as what to do when the water is dripping, how to clean up water, how to stop the water from spilling, how much water a container can hold. • Social cooperation: As children play in organised water play stations they learn to negotiate, as they wait for their turn, lining up to use the pitchers, watering cans, containers. They also learn sharing as they play amongst other children by the water play station. They learn to cooperate as they work together with other children to help clean the water station or keep the water from spilling or splashing. 18

Cooking • Mathematical concepts: Children are learning how to count the number of teaspoons, timing how long the baking time will be, measuring using spoons or cups. • Following instructions: Children are taught how to be safe in the kitchen by the preschool educators, as they are guided how to use the equipment safely. They are also learning how to care for the equipment in the process. • Science concepts: As the children are exposed to different foods in the kitchen, they grasp concepts of which foods are healthy for their bodies. They also learn about liquids, solids and textures.

Painting Crafts • Creativity: Children learn to be creative through the use of varied materials such as brushes, sponges, and their hands for painting. • Self expression: Children develop an understanding of how to express their thoughts through shapes, brush strokes, colours, letters and drawings. • Cleaning up: Children are taught self help clean up skills such as putting away their art smock, washing their paint brushes, washing their hands with soap and water and putting their artwork in the appropriate place to dry. Overall, preschool child-led play is indeed full of learning! Skills are being gained and taught everyday at preschool. That’s why play experiences need to be well thought out and supported by Parents and Educators. Written by Nicole Yaneza. Nicole is an Early Childhood Educator

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the drop off With their two daughters, Finn (14) and Abbie (10), well into school, it hardly comes as a surprise that St Kilda East husband/wife-writer/ actors Fiona Harris and Mike McLeish have taken school yard banter and turned it into comedy gold in their clever web series called The Drop Off. Don’t be fooled, The Drop Off might be set in the playground, but it is definitely adults-only viewing! Season one features plenty of flirting, Tinder mishaps, a hot sports teacher, a nasty principal and kids watching inappropriate YouTube clips. The series is based around a bunch of parents chatting at school drop off each morning and is so relatable and guaranteed to make you laugh. With series two launching in February we chat to this creative duo about working together, juggling family life in the entertainment business and what makes them tick as a family. Obviously you’ve been inspired by your own time doing the school drop off, but how did the idea for the series first come about? One day we noticed that we’d become part of the school community and had accidentally made these new friends. Fiona and I often send each other ideas to see if the other thinks it’s worth pursuing and Fiona sent me an email in late 2014 with the subject heading: Show idea The Drop Off. I replied something like “HELL YES”. Tell us a little bit about the four main characters in the Drop Off. Fiona: They’re an amalgamation of ourselves, as well as our real-life friends. The main characters are an odd quartet. They don’t have a lot in common, apart from their love of coffee and the art of talking shit, but somehow the friendship works. Be honest, are any of the characters based on people you’ve had real school yard banter with in your own playground? We won’t make you name names! Mike: Of course! And some of those-who-shallnot-be-named know full well that we’ve ripped off their mannerisms, speech patterns and fashion choices…and they LOVE IT! 20 20

What new fun can we expect from series 2 of The Drop Off? Fiona: We received funding from Screen Australia for series 2, so had more time to work on the scripts and bring together an incredible cast and crew. We feel like series 2 takes our characters and stories to a whole new level of crazy which we can’t wait to share with you. No doubt you guys met in the entertainment industry. Tell us more… Mike: We actually met at a property investment seminar... Fiona: Yeah. No. We met doing an amateur theatre show (sometime after Indecent Obsession and before The Backstreet Boys Reunion Tour). We played a couple in it and continued to do so in three or four more shows after that before deciding to give it a go for real. Mike you have a background in musicals as well. What has been your favourite show to perform in? Keating! The Musical still wins. It started so small, then became the little show that could. Casey Bennetto created something so brilliant and joyous and I remain incredibly proud to have been a part of it. Eddie Perfect’s Shane Warne The Musical is a close second. It must mean there is plenty of time when you are away from home. How do you both manage this? Mike: I don’t cope very well. Although when I’m touring, the diet of vodka and loneliness does wonders for the waistline. Fiona: It’s definitely exhausting, but I do okay most of the time because ultimately, I’m a control freak.

Fiona, I heard you actually went into labour with Abbie while Mike was on stage in Keating! The Musical playing ex-prime minister Paul Keating. Tell us what happened? Fiona: Exactly that! I had the stage manager’s mobile number and she knew it was a possibility. I called during Act 1 and made them promise not to tell Mike until the show had finished. They told him during Act 2. Mike announced it at the start of the encore and apologised to the audience before running off stage a bit quicker than usual. Fiona, you also have quite a few children’s books under your belt. Is there no end to your creative talent? Tell us more about them. Fiona: I’ve written a series of books called The Super Moopers, illustrated by Scott Edgar (The Drop Off’s very own Dave) and we’re releasing two more in 2019. I’ve also written numerous books in the Trolls and Miraculous series’ for Five Mile Press. And Mike and I are also adapting The Drop Off into a novel, due for release in 2020.

Do you think your girls will be following you down the acting path? Or do they have their eyes set on other things? Mike: We’re hoping they end up running a series of highly successful property investment seminars. Speaking of the girls, what’s your favourite thing to do together as a family? Fiona: Head down to the Classic Cinema in Elsternwick for a family movie date, then stuff ourselves with dumplings at Panda Mama afterwards. We also love beach outings in summer and a house full of friends, food, music and mirth. And finally, what’s the funniest thing you’ve heard in the playground? Mike: From a parent: “Sweetie, what would the Octonauts do?” From a kid: “Your apple looks like a bum.” Fiona: It’s not fit to print! The Drop Off stars, Fiona Harris, Mike McLeish, Christie Whelan Browne and Scott Edgar and Series 2 is directed by Tori Garrett. The series was filmed at Ripponlea Primary School. Visit facebook.com/thedropoffshow to view season one and keep up to date with the launch of season 2. Photo: Shannon Morris. 21 21

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mama can Cook! Soba noodle salad with peanut sesame dressing Serves 4

Dressing

Ingredients:

1/3 cup water

180g Hakubaku organic soba noodles

1/3 cup peanut butter

Half a bunch of radishes

1 tbsp maple syrup

1 carrot

2 tsp Obento rice wine vinegar

1/4 small red cabbage

2 tsp Yeoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pure sesame oil

1/2 red capsicum

2 tsp freshly grated ginger

1 cup snow peas handful of watercress 2 tbsp black sesame seeds

1 tbsp Lee Kum Kee soy sauce

Method: Cook soba noodles in rapidly boiling water for 4 minutes, refresh under cold water, and set aside. Whiz the dressing ingredients together in blender. Finely chop the cabbage, capsicum, snow peas and radishes. Julienne the carrot using a julienne peeler. Combine the chopped vegetables and noodles in a bowl and stir to combine. Add your desired amount of dressing, divide among four small bowls and sprinkle over sesame seeds and watercress sprigs.

Thai red cabbage cups Serves 4 as a main, or more as a starter

Sauce:

Method:

1/3 cup peanut butter

Ingredients

1 clove garlic, minced

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees.

1-2 sweet potatoes

2cm ginger, minced

1-2 cups cooked rice, quinoa, or a combination

2 tbsp rice wine vinegar

1 avocado 1 long red chili Coriander leaves, to garnish Outer leaves from a head of red cabbage

2 tbsp soy sauce 2 tbsp maple syrup 2 tsp sesame oil

d rne base Melbou a is r, l e e p M . evelo nie Katz recipe d by Mela grapher, r Eva. to o Recipes te h h p g u d a list an ama to d m d _ food sty n tz a nieka creator u @mela content tz.com.a a lk e .m www

Finely dice the sweet potato and cook in the oven for 20 minutes, or until soft. Once cool, toss with cooked grains and diced avocado. Whiz the sauce ingredients together in a blender or food processor. Spoon the veggie mixture into red cabbage leaves, garnish with coriander and sliced red chili, and finish with a drizzle of peanut sauce. 25

TRAIN and HOBBY SHOW Sandown Racecourse

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The Mummy Matters There’s nothing more heartening to me than to hear a room full of parents howl with laughter over a shared foible. A universal truth about the flawed nature of parenting. Not that parenting children isn’t fun, exhilarating – liberating, in fact, if you call transcending the pain of love a form of freedom. One could even say parenting young children is the ultimate manifestation of Stockholm syndrome – where you are bound by love to your captor, with the power imbalance reversed. If you know what I mean. If you are reading this and nodding slowly to yourself, I think you do! That’s where the laughter comes into it. You have to laugh; otherwise you could drown in a sea of indignation, frustration and sheer shock as to how the Peoples Republic of Parenthood works. You know how it feels when the seams in a pant labelled one size fits all rip gently at the crotch before you’ve left the fitting room? It’s the same horror recognition that motherhood is NOT a one size fits all experience. Not all mums are the same. Not all mums react the same. Not all mums experience the same. And not all mums behave the same. Not just to the kids…but to each OTHER. That’s why we need Mummy Manners. It’s like a universal code, akin to road rules. Nobody needs a license, we’ve all realised that. But you can garner demerit points with the other mums if you insist on running a few emotional red lights. For about 5 years now, I’ve been popping into schools doing humour infused shows for the parents – no kids allowed - delivering the messianic message that making friends with other mums is the key to a successful singa-long in the bumpy road travelled by the 28

Motherhood Bus. Who else is going to pretend to listen endlessly to the frustrations of family life and remember parts of it for a follow up conversation – and not just so they can have a go at downloading too? It’s your mummy friend, that’s who. It’s your mummy friend who will spend afternoons at a park with you whilst the kids swing endlessly, filing half-finished conversations away to be revisited later just a like a favourite lolly pop. It’s your mummy friend who will store that secret gripe you have with your nearest and dearest, never to hold it against either of you when they see you together again, unless required. Nicole, a beautiful New Zealandish woman who lived two doors up when our kids were small, taught me about ‘the Mummy Manners’. When we moved in with our 2-year-old son, she was there, within the week, introducing us to her two sons and husband and showing me the ropes of how families living up the street help each other out. Play dates. Cleaning up the poo at play dates if her kids had missed the toilet bowl. Teaching me how to make pancakes from scratch. Minding for an hour or two so I could exercise, sleep, read a book, make a sibling. Which we did. Thank you, Nicole. Nicole found me one day, in the driveway, howling, because I’d just had a row with my one true mummy friend, the one I’d bonded with at mothers’ group because she’d been the only one who hadn’t tried to tell me about how versatile her vagina had been during childbirth. Inadvertently I’d given her son a piece of chocolate. Or rather, it was with full awareness, I just hadn’t disclosed it to her. Or well I’d actually asked him not to tell her. But that was because I was torn between the notion of sharing with him what MY son had found in my purse on pick up from child care - that was four pieces of chocolate wrapped in foil - and knowing that she always went mad when her partner gave her son chocolate. I chose to share the chocolate and asked a three-yearold to keep a secret from his mother. Well, you would think it worthy of a Royal Commission.

Fully castigated, I crawled home, wounded that not only had I lost a friend, but my son had too. Nicole rescued me from the foetal position in the drive way. She encouraged me to eat the rest of the said block of chocolate all by myself and to calm down, convinced it would sort itself out. It did. Nicole was brilliant. She reminded me I was still there, inside the Mothers Hood. There’s nothing that needs dismantling more than the notion that once you are a Mum you stop being you. You don’t. You need women around you that see you as you more than ever, and it’s handy if the kids get along as well. If they don’t, just pop them on the swing. Eat some chocolate. And most importantly, get together and have a laugh, without the kids. If you need help, just call. @Libbi_Gorr presents Weekend Breakfast Saturday 6-10am and Sundays 10-12 noon on ABC Radio Melbourne & Victoria. As a special offer for Bayside Families, Libbi Gorr offers The All New Mummy Matters comedy function for public primary school events, kindy first term Ice breakers or Mother’s Day Functions, AT NO CHARGE! Spots will go quickly so book quick! Email Kate at Libbigorroffice@gmail.com (*Terms and conditions do apply.)

“I’d just had a row with my one true mummy friend, the one I’d bonded with at mothers’ group because she’d been the only one who hadn’t tried to tell me about how versatile her vagina had been during childbirth.”

turn the page How Not to be Popular by Cecily Anne Paterson Maddie tries so hard to be a ‘pop’ but the cool K-girls at school don’t think she fits the mould. She dresses in a unicorn onesie, likes knee socks and doesn’t listen to popstar music. ‘Being a unicorn was stupid. Embarrassing. Uncool … I should have known that being popstars was a better idea.’ Capturing Year 6 in all its glory, How Not to be Popular follows Maddie and the weird, hilarious and sometimes mean things she will do to be a ‘pop’ and have cool friends (because who wants to be an ‘ordinary’?). In all good bookstores on the 15th of March 2019, the National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence (NDA). wombatbooks.com.au

Where’s Bear? by Sarah Elliott Smyth Where’s Bear is a gentle book that encourages children to face their fears and to have courage, even if they are frightened or nervous. When Sophie returned from dinner, Bear was not where she had left him. “Bear, where are you?” Sophie called. Go on an adventure with Sophie as she attempts to find her best friend, Bear. Sophie has to be brave, just like bear, but the Shadow Monster is lurking in the dark. Available at www.empoweringresources.com.au

Shine From Within by Amanda Rootsey Shine from Within is the go-to guide to help girls navigate their teen years with a positive, fresh take on self-image and overall wellbeing. Amanda Rootsey brings a wealth of experience not only from her own teenage years but also from her work with teenage girls through her Shine From Within programs. This is a book that teens will want to read: big sister guidance written in a fun, caring, relatable style, which also makes it a perfect gift from mums, aunts, god mothers and friends for the teen girl in their life. Hayhouse Books. Available at Booktopia, Amazon Aus and all good book stores.

101 Small Ways to Change the World by Aubre Andrus 101 Small Ways to Change the World shows how you’re never too young to make a big difference. A practical, fun and creative book to inspire you at home, school and in your local community, it includes random acts of kindness, craft projects, energy-saving ideas and much more. Lonely Planet Kids encourages the next generation of global citizens to learn about the world around them with engaging books on culture, sociology, geography, nature, history, space and more. Find out more at www.lonelyplanet.com/kids

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PREPARE FOR CHILDCARE Preparing to send your little one to childcare can be nerveracking, and an event that may have been playing on your mind from the moment they were born. But whether you’re returning to work or want to give them a chance to socialise with other children, childcare is a great option and in Melbourne, we’re fortunate to have easy access to centres that offer a high quality of care. With a new year beginning, it’s a great time to prepare your child for their first day – especially if you’re worried about separation anxiety, both yours and your child’s! Learning to be apart for the first time is not easy for parents or children, but most children adapt really quickly. Although it’s their first day, not all children get upset when mum or dad leave. We frequently see children happily wave goodbye and excitedly jump in and start experiencing new friends, food and toys. High quality childcare services are designed to be happy and inviting spaces for children, so there’s often a lot of enthusiasm when they arrive – even if it’s mixed with a little apprehension. If there is any separation anxiety, it often passes soon after the parent leaves the room. We use a number of strategies to help calm and distract children who are upset, and it doesn’t take long to get them engaged in something new, interesting and fun. For parents who are especially worried about separation anxiety, we recommends a few ways to prepare their child before their first day. If your child is old enough to understand, talk openly about what will be happening next year. Help them get excited about all the other children they will meet, the new food they will eat, the fun toys they will play with, and the activities they will do.

For children who are too young to understand, or are at an age when separation anxiety tends to peak (typically between 12-18 months old), there are techniques you can try now that may make the first few days of childcare easier. The most common and proven way to ease separation anxiety is to practice separation. You can do this by asking a family member or close friend to care for your child for brief periods so that they can experience separation in a comfortable environment, and learn that when mum or dad go away, they will return. Ideally, you should: 1. Create a quick “goodbye ritual” such as giving a hug, waving and blowing a kiss. 2. Leave quickly. Stalling or giving in to tantrums usually makes it worse. 3. Let them keep something familiar. If they go to a different house, allow them to take a favourite toy. 4. Practice short periods such as 10 minutes at first, leading to longer ones such as a few hours and then a whole day. Telling your child that you will always return is especially comforting. As soon as they start to trust through experience that it will happen, their anxiety will diminish – and so will yours. Lastly, rest assured that experienced, welltrained educators will take good care of your child. Their safety and wellbeing are our first priority, and we do all we can to make sure they not only enjoy their time at childcare, but grow, learn and thrive while they are here. By Angela Hunt, Director at Sentia Early Learning. www.sentia.vic.edu.au

Are you ready to return to work in the city?

Sentia Early Learning is a gorgeous childcare and kindergarten program conveniently located in Melbourneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CBD. With an expansive outdoor rooftop space overlooking the river, a responsive and creative program and staff that are like family, putting their effervescent passion into all that they do, Sentia really is special. At Sentia your children will be inspired, feel safe and can build confidence in their first steps in a lifelong love of learning. Discover how Sentia could become part of your family. Visit sentia.vic.edu.au and book a private tour to meet us! 450 Flinders Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3000 T: 03 9629 9860

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The secrets to successful praise Praise is powerful. It has the ability to motivate, guide and support our childrens’ learning and boost their self-confidence.

A 2015 study published in the European Journal of Psychology of Education indicated that the belief that intelligence was malleable (growth mindset) boosted children’s self-esteem and improved their academic self-concept.

We all want our children to succeed. Naturally, we praise them to encourage and motivate them. And we sometimes do this regardless of whether or not they have truly applied their best efforts.

Compare this with students whose fixed mindset was found (by Dweck) to be associated with increased self-handicapping, truancy and a greater likelihood of giving up on school altogether.

However, research tells us that, though well-intentioned, praise for ability as opposed to praise for effort has the capacity to derail our son’s learning.

Praising effort over ability

Mindset matters

Avoid praising your child for their natural intellect or abilities. Focus instead on praise for effort and determination, which will help teach your child the value of hard work, make them more resilient and better equipped to overcome future obstacles. And ensure that your praise is genuine – children are perceptive and will pick up on insincerity.

According to leading researcher Carol Dweck, children generally fall into two categories when considering perceived intelligence – those with a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset. Children with a fixed mindset believe that they have a certain amount of intelligence from birth. According to Dweck, they believe that if they have to make an effort to learn, it is because they aren’t smart enough and therefore often become discouraged or simply give up when faced with setbacks. They tend to avoid learning challenges where they might make mistakes. In contrast, children with a growth mindset believe that their intelligence can be developed with effort and hard work. These children tend to try hard in the face of frustration and failure, believing that effort is a positive thing they can use to gain knowledge.

How then do we use praise to encourage a ‘growth mindset’?

As parents, we need to remember that learning is hard. According to 2007 study The Power of Feedback, children need to understand that a good process is what will lead to good learning. The study also argues that feedback, where it is clear, purposeful, meaningful and compatible with a child’s prior knowledge, is perhaps the most powerful influence on the learning process. Remember, the growth mindset is a journey. The end goal is to improve and learn through hard work and persistence. Kate Casey is a former lawyer and is now an Associate at Brighton Grammar’s own intellectual ‘think- tank’ the Crowther Centre. www.brightongrammar.vic.edu.au

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Talk to Noah's Ark about therapy and education for your child under the NDIS. Noah's Ark recognises the very important role that families play in their child's health and development. Our specialists with professional backgrounds in speech pathology, occupational therapy, education, physiotherapy, psychology and social work, are known as Key Workers and will come to you. For more information on our programs go to our website or call 1800 819 140

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IF THE SHOE FITS Podiatrist tips for picking the perfect school shoe Kids spend up to 40 hours a week in their school shoes, which is why picking the right pair of school shoes is incredibly important. Whether your child is standing, sitting, walking, running, jumping or skipping; their feet are always on the move. Purchasing shoes that support your child’s feet is usually at the top of the ‘back to school’ shopping list. Leading podiatrist, Lloyd Reed, has a few tips to ensure you pick the perfect pair. 1. Measure the feet: To determine the right shoe fit, ensure the feet are professionally measured for length, width, overall fit and shape. When checking the shape of the shoe, check to see there is approximately 1 cm of growing room beyond the longest toe.

2. Look for heel support: Look for a firm heel counter to provide additional support. This is the little plastic insert used to reinforce the heel cup of the shoe. 3. Match the shoe style and features for the activity: Whilst formal school shoes are good general purpose shoes, a running shoe or cross-trainer will be better if your child does a lot of physical activity. Lightweight, flexible shoes are ideal for the early years whilst more supportive shoes may be better for junior primary and later school years. Look for buckles, laces or straps to secure the shoe appropriately. 4. Look for midfoot support: This will help support the arch and will also improve stability. For more information go to www.ascentfootwear.com.au

Kids spend up to 40 hours a week in their school shoes, which is why picking the right pair of school shoes is incredibly important.

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I’ve got 99 problems but There is nothing I want more than to spend time with my family, making them happy and making sure they have everything they need. I give it my best in terms of our relationship, finances, and happiness overall. On the other hand, I want to be able to focus on my own career not only because of financial reasons and independence but also because I am good at what I do. The mental challenge, stimulation, and fulfillment beyond home are some of the things I’m deeply passionate about. I also believe mums are role models for the next generation which is why I want to help re-define what a mother’s role should be. Let’s be honest, juggling motherhood and developing a career is a lot to handle. I mean I’m not a superwoman (despite my hubby reassuring me). I can’t do everything all at once, although I have to agree, mums, are very good at multi-tasking. But there’s got to be a way to focus on one thing without sacrificing the others, right?

Let’s be honest, juggling motherhood and developing a career is a lot to handle. I mean I’m not a superwoman (despite my hubby reassuring me). Once my husband worked on a project out of town weekdays, for eight months. Still working a full-time job and placing our kid in childcare full time, I struggled to juggle it all. Working in the city, I had a daily hike to work each morning, rushing out at 5 o’clock in the afternoon (yes got the looks and the ‘part-timer’ comments too) just to get there in time to pick up my kid. My son often looked tired, sad and unhappy. And then I started receiving the calls from childcare asking me to pick up my child because he has got a strange rash (turned out a reaction to new food), he’s got a runny poo (teething), his temperature is high and that they feel uncomfortable to give him Panadol. My world started to crumble. I did not have my partner to help me – poor guy was working long hours each night and we would sleep in turns on weekends. We were miserable without our village. 42

I did a lot of research and found that most of the standard childcare arrangements, aside from their expensive costs, just don’t offer flexible childcare hours for many families. Like many others, we, unfortunately, did not have family support around us. However, I was among the thousands of lucky mums who discovered au pairs. They are young people traveling overseas to gain more experience working with children, learn a new language and experience a new culture. They usually stay with a family as part of an exchange. The family provides them with their basic needs while they help look after the children and do minor house chores. But it took a bit of time to adjust. Delegating was not my strength and I struggled with mum guilt. You know that decade-long conditioning through observations, subtle comments, and perfect Instagram feeds by well-meaning citizens around us that sediment over time in our brains as the minimum standards to be always upheld. Seeing my children being happy with the au pairs put me at ease, and I gradually learned to let go a portion of that guilt and my own expectations of myself as a mum. Often my au pairs felt like my partners in crime. They got it! The mum gig is tough, and they would pick up the slack so that I could spend more quality time with my children – read a book, play chase or just be silly. I stopped worrying about fixing everything in the house since our au pair was happy to take up some of those tasks. And along the way I felt like they have learned something for their future - If you want to have a career/business and a family, start to build your village around you.

The mum gig is tough, and they would pick up the slack so that I can spend more quality time with my children. There are some raising concerns that the cultural exchange is being turned into a ‘cheap housekeeper’ alternative. While most au pairs have their expectations met or exceeded

my au pair ain’t one! during their exchange, some fall trap to the lack of a written agreement or it’s missing to cover the most basic details (i.e. working hours and pocket money). Families can also get blindsided by making wrong choices and can be left in the lurch without childcare. Families and au pairs need to know what a cultural exchange entails. A significant investment in patience, understanding, and willingness to learn is required from both sides to ensure the families have the help they need, and the au pairs have the adventure and personal growth they seek.

we are still very close with a few chosen ones. Our son’s second au pair is now his godmother, if that’s not a bond for a lifetime, I don’t know what is. In our village, life is still a sometimes a struggle, but the moments of ease, joy and relaxation and quality time with my family are way more frequent! By Irene Becker, Bentleigh East mama and Founder of 99aupairs.com. The flexible support every mum should have. www.99aupairs.com

Most of our au pairs are smart and driven young people. And we pride ourselves in mentoring them and sharing our experiences with them to help to discover themselves and have a successful life. Most of them went on to study, got scholarships and

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THE LEAP INTO CHILDCARE Starting childcare for the first time is an exciting time in a child’s life. It typically marks an exciting time when their sphere of influence, stimulation and discovery expands routinely and more formally out of their home environment. For some children, this is the first time they are being cared for and taught by someone other than their primary care giver, which can also be a daunting thought for some parents. There are many ways we can positively transition our children and ourselves smoothly into childcare. Here are some useful tips. The first step to helping your child adjust to childcare is to find a service that you think will cater the most to your child’s individual needs and learning styles. Investigating multiple services is a must for you to get a ‘feeling’ about whether the environment is right for your child and your childcare needs. Start by asking those in your local friendship groups or mothers’ groups for recommendations and ask them questions around what to expect from a service and their experiences settling their child in. Touring several services with your child can be overwhelming but is recommended. It is helpful to know some of the questions to ask each centre director during your visit. These should include: • Who owns and operates the centre? Is the service family owned? • Who are the educators responsible for my child day-to-day and how long have they worked at the service? (Staff turnover can be a sign of an unhappy workplace) • How does the centre incorporate my child’s individual daily routine into theirs? • What is included in the daily fees? (eg. nappies, meals etc.) • What is the transition and orientation procedure? Can the service tailor it to suit my child? • What types of early childhood philosophies or teaching styles does the centre use in their practices and programming? (eg. Reggio Emilia, Steiner, Montessori etc.) • What is your policy on food, food allergies and intolerances? 46

When it comes to the overall management of a service, often family owned services allow for a more homely, personal and responsive experience for you and a happier workplace for educators. It can be reassuring to know that the people responsible for management of the centre are present to attend to the overall wellbeing of their educators, resourcing needs and high operational standards Once you have chosen a service, it’s time to get prepared for starting childcare. This doesn’t just mean purchasing backpacks and extra dummies, this also means preparing your child for the exciting journey ahead. A great way to do this, if your child is old enough, is to have casual discussions with them about all the things that they can do while at childcare, who will be looking after them and the pick-up and drop off procedure. There are some great books that may also be a helpful resource to use at home in preparation for the transition such as, “Bye Bye Time” by Elizabeth Verdick, which looks at creating positive and comforting drop off and pick up routines between child and parent, emphasising that the parent/s always come back. Creating a familiar and settling goodbye routine is a sure way to a smooth transition. For the younger children starting, who don’t yet have the verbal and language skills to understand this new experience, it is still important to ensure they are prepared. Ensure that you bring along something that is familiar to the child, this may be in the form of a comforter, toy or even a book. These comfort items help to calm and settle your child during the times you are not with them,

while also assisting with routines times like sleep. Adhering to the same routine at childcare as your routine at home, is another key step to creating a smooth transition. It is important to pick a service that will cater to your childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s individual needs when it comes to orientating into the centre and their ongoing routine. Building strong relationships with the educators is another important component in transitioning to childcare. Be sure that you feel comfortable with the educators responsible for your child day-to-day and that communication will flow easily between you. Having confidence in the educators and their ability to care for, settle and comfort your child is essential. By Sarah Shelton, Educational Leader Sandringham Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Centre sandringhamchildrenscentre.com.au

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