Love and respect your body

HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN TO LOVE AND RESPECT THEIR BODIES

From reflections of self-acceptance to deconstructing the definition of “fat”, there are some key ways we can nurture body positive kids.

When we talk about standards of beauty, many are quick to point a finger at the media. But have we taken a look in our own homes? Chances are we have svelte and blonde Barbie dolls or chiselled superhero figurines lying around our kids’ rooms next to books with “regular size” characters; while our own spaces as parents may be filled with “how to lose weight” recipes, workout videos on repeat, or restrictive shapewear so that clothes “fit better”. Our environments and lifestyles are full of unintentional triggers that could potentially impact or influence our children’s perceptions of beauty—and in turn, their thoughts on body positivity… or negativity.

Body issues affect children as early as three

As it turns out, children are not as optimistic or carefree as we think, with new research finding negative thoughts around their weight and how their bodies look. According to the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years (PACEY), 24 percent of childcare professionals witness signs of body-related unhappiness amongst kids as young as 3-years-old. That number almost doubles as children get older, with 47 percent identifying similar body image anxieties in 6 to 10-year-olds. This is why how we talk to our children about beauty and bodies is crucial. The same goes for how we talk to ourselves about it, which should be reflected in the way we lead our lives. As parents, we are the first and main role models in their lives, and children internalise our words and actions more than we think. How we define what is strong, healthy or goodlooking will go on to shape their thoughts, so introducing diversity and inclusivity is key.

Teach your child about selfacceptance in the mirror

One of the first few things we teach our children is the basics of anatomy. As soon as they demonstrate some form of understanding about their bodies, we should start bringing attention to body parts—like hands, ears, toes and lips. Not only will this teach them that no matter what other images they see growing up, their body parts are their own, and are great just the way they are. While in front of a mirror, you can ask them to point out where their knees, arms and nose are, and use words of affirmation to highlight their functions: like “isn’t your nose great, it helps you smell and taste!” Always find the positive, but also acknowledge any differences that make them unique. No one is perfect, and no one expects them to be.

Be a body positive role model

If your child sees you obsessing over calories, what the weighing scale says, or constantly bingeing on junk food on the couch, they will follow suit. How you live your life as a parent forms the building blocks of their daily habits and self-esteem, as they tend to mirror behaviours while discovering and soaking in the world around them. So we have to set

worthy examples. Teach them how all foods fit in a healthy diet—dessert included—and how exercise helps them grow up strong and healthy. Emphasising the positive outcomes of balance and satisfaction over the negative effects of restriction or indulgence is key.

Normalise all bodies and body talk as they grow up

Continue talking about bodies as your children grow up into toddlers and as they go through puberty. Have open conversations about how their body and appearance will change over time—and that that’s ok—and that everyone develops differently. This includes having different skin tones and hair colours, as well as varying and ever-changing heights and weights. Besides talking, expose them to a variety of real, unedited bodies of all shapes and shades through all sorts of media from YouTube videos to books on diversity and body positivity. This, versus always watching traditional celebrity-driven content that more often than not, glorifies a particular look and standard of “beauty” or “masculinity”, which children can be hyper-attuned to. One of the books I love that teaches self-love and body positivity declarations for young girls is Her Body Can by Katie Crenshaw and Ady Meschke.

Celebrate both their physical and non-physical attributes

It’s easy to become fixated on perfected versions of ourselves, with us living in a filtered culture online, but we can prevent objectification, obsession or depression by nurturing resilient characters that view attractiveness beyond the surface. We can do this by highlighting children’s personality traits— like how funny, smart, strong or creative they are. By focusing on other attributes beyond physical, it empowers them to develop their skills and talents, and to get to know others that way too, beyond how they look. This gives them the tools to value themselves for who they are, not how they look. Alternatively, the easiest place to start is by watching a movie, and discussing the characters not by their looks but by what they are saying and doing, which will then hone that thought process of focusing on one’s personality or actions first, before outward appearances.

Support character development with positive reinforcement

Words of affirmation can do wonders for brain and character development. By praising their positive gestures, skills and words, we cultivate an environment that thrives on doing good—no matter how big or small. At home, encourage problem solving, expressing of feelings, and exchanging opinions, while also praising them for attributes like persistence, kindness or newfound strengths after learning a new skill.

Promote health and wellness before weight or vanity

Rather than approaching a nutritious meal or exercise from the point of view of losing weight or maintaining a certain body shape, change the narrative by approaching it from the importance of health and wellness. Feeling energised, getting stronger and having fun can have tremendous effects on how comfortable and confident anyone becomes with their body. Expose your kids to various physical activities to let them explore, discover and sharpen their skills at. Just remember that some children are natural athletes and team players while others love leisurely bike rides with the family; and there are those who might not like the outdoors but fall in love with ballet. The goal is to keep them active, fit and having fun.

Deconstruct negative connotations around the word “fat”

This is something we as adults need to relearn ourselves, that “fat” isn’t a bad word. We need to teach our kids the different and useful definitions of it. Food wise, we need to consume good fats as part of a healthy, balanced diet, and this includes delicious and nutritious produce like salmon, avocados, eggs and every kid’s favourite: Cheese. Body wise, fat has key functions too. It’s an essential source of energy, protects our organs and keeps us warm. Children should also be taught that muscles weigh more than fat, so one should never focus on the numbers on a scale or BMI but instead, pay attention to how nourished and energised they feel after a good meal, and how strong they’re getting over time. By parenting coach and trained counsellor, Rany Moran – ranymoran.com