Westside MamaMag Aug/Sept 2019 by MamaMag

WESTSIDE

mamamAg Aug/Sep 2019

WIN 1 of 8 FAMILY PASSES TO THE ROYAL MELBOURNE SHOW Food, health & wellbeing Welcome to your period Health and happiness The lunchbox dad Parenting boys

free Local fun for the Westside mum 1

wInter warmers Mama’s cold, really cold! I’m just not a Winter person! Pop me in the sunshine any day of the week. Of course, I’m getting good at escaping the cold. Snapping up some cheap flights to Cairns a few months ago was clearly the best thing I’ve done all year. Port Douglas is one of my favourite Australian destinations, and I’d never taken the kids there, so a sneaky mid-term June trip was absolutely perfect. Bundled into the long weekend so the kids only missed four days of school, we were spoilt rotten at the fabulous Sheraton Grand Mirage Resort for five wonderful nights. In the Dec/Jan issue I’ll be sharing my Port Douglas adventures with you in full, but for now let me just tell you, there is so many amazing things to do with the kids there. The weather is around 26 degrees all Winter, so my sunshine cup was certainly filled. We snorkelled the reef, we even snorkelled through the rainforest! We zipped through trees, paddle boarded, took a sunset cruise and when we weren’t having all these adventures we were lounging by one of Sheraton’s three acres of amazing pools! Truly the best family holiday I’ve had! I can’t wait to tell you more about it! Two weeks later, when the school holidays actually started, we went skiing at Mt Baw Baw and my tan was quickly hidden under thermals and ski clothes as I embraced the cold head on! Baw Baw is such a great spot for kids to learnt to ski. It’s close, affordable and small enough for them to tackle almost every run. Now we’re back in term three. Back to reality. Back to routine. Back to the gym for me, trying to stay fit and healthy! We’ve got lots of great health and wellness goodies for you this issue. It’s so important to take care of ourselves so we can be the best mums possible. It’s also important to help take care of those other mums who are less fortunate than us. I’m thrilled to be able to partner with Hunter Baby this issue to run a giant sale to raise funds for St Kilda Mums. Their clothes are gorgeous and a total steal for 50% off with HB donating a further 10% to St Kilda Mums to help mums in need. So if you’ve got kids under four, please get behind us and shop up a storm! Check out page 13 for details.

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Local fun for everyone • Bayside • Eastside • Northside • Westside

WIN

Contents The lunchbox dad

1 of 8 Family Passes to the 6

Insta sensation George Georgievski

Parklife 8 Green Gully Reserve Keilor Downs

Health, Health and happiness

Chats with Lauren Hannaford

Back to work

Volunteering at ASRC Footscray

Welcome to your period

Worth

A teen’s guide to ‘that time’

The coach approach

$80 ea

Do you need a life coach?

Good for mama & the planet

ch!

Our top lifestyle product picks

Betting wetting myths

Which bits are true?

Mama can cook

Plant-based Nourish Box

Turn the page

Mama’s top book picks

A confidence kick

Find confidence with sport

Don’t get greenwashed

The truth about biodegradable plastics

We love a mother

Frances Bilbao, Mums Matter Psychology

Boys are not tough

Mothering our boys

Coworking 38 The busy parent solution

Busy rushing mum

Time to phone a friend?

MamaMag Aug/Sep 2019

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Entries are open to Victorian residents only. Competition starts Aug 1st 12.01am and closes Sept 14th 2019 at 11.59pm. Tickets are only valid for use during the 2019 Royal Melbourne Show, Sat 21 Sept - Tues 1 Oct. Tickets may not re-sold or redeemed for cash. Visit www.mamamag.com.au/competitions for full terms and conditions.

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Want to write for us or have an article idea? submissions@mamamag.com.au The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publishing staff. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without permission of the publishers. Health related articles are designed to be informative and educational. They are not intended to provide specific medical advice or replace one-on-one advice from your health practitioner.

THE Lunchbox Dad When Geelong dad, to two gorgeous girls, George Georgievski took over the cooking and school lunch duties from his wife three years ago, he thought he was just doing every parent should do, parent. What he didn’t foresee was him becoming a world-wide success as the “School lunchbox dad”, with live TV appearances, over 120k Instagram/Facebook followers and a new cook book Lunchbox Express which launched recently! George, tell us about that first morning you walked into the kitchen and found school lunch chaos. It was like walking into a war zone. I used to leave for work before anyone was up so I had no idea what happened in the mornings till one day I was off sick. I was in bed when I heard screams from the kitchen, I jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen thinking someone had been shot. As it turns out is was an everyday normality and my girls and wife looked at me like “what’s up?”. That was the moment everything changed, I remember saying that I love my little family too much to allow this chaos to continue in the mornings. I asked my wife how I could help and she suggested I take over school lunches, fast forward 3 years and it’s a different type of chaos. What do you do work wise when you’re not being a whizz in the kitchen? We recently sold our family business after 16 years, and now I’m a client relationship dude. I look after a key account for a local Geelong business. I used to also give up a day a week to work as a barista for free in the best café called Coffee Cartel. I loved their passion for single origin coffee so much I had to learn as much as possible about coffee, even if it meant working for free! Where did you find the inspiration to come up with these fun and exciting lunches? I found inspiration in a few places, firstly, my cultural heritage is Macedonian, so growing

up I was exposed to amazing soul food from Macedonia. I wanted my girls to experience this so I simplified some of my mum’s recipes and made them my own. For a whole year on every Friday, I also created lunches inspired by different countries around the world. At one stage, when I did Polish food, someone in Poland saw it and I ended up on the front page of the Polish Gazette next to Donald Trump! Adult food is also a source of inspiration, for example, when we’d go out to dinner we’d all enjoy ravioli, spring rolls, dumplings etc. I figured if they enjoy those foods for dinner, how could I create them using simple bread and basic ingredients? So I did just that. Simplifying adult food is something I do a lot! How did you end up on Instagram? Did the girls have anything to do with that? It was about 3 years ago, however I have a dad brain! From what I can remember I think one of my girls came home from school saying that either a teacher or a parent suggested that I put the lunchbox creations on Instagram. Back then, I had no idea what Instagram was, so after some searching I downloaded the app and things went nuts pretty quick. So yes, it was all because of my girls. Your book deal came about after a cheeky Instagram message to publisher MacMillan. Tells us more about how this came about. Yes, very true, one night I noticed that MacMillan Publishers started following me, and I thought that it would be cool if I sent them a cheeky message. The message read something like “hi thanks for the follow, now who can I talk to about a bestseller and cool dad style recipes”. I then got a response, the funny thing was that I thought I was all cool and stuff till the publisher said that they never respond to those type of messages however they thought that my social pages had something special, so we caught up. When I went in for a meeting I noticed they were all women, so right then I knew they’d get sh#t done and that I was in safe hands!

What’s the best thing that has come about from your new found ‘lunchbox’ fame?

Top five places to hang out with the kids when you visit Melbourne:

The changes that people have made for the better. At times when I get messages from people to tell me how their children’s behaviour has changed and how they’re more attentive just blows my mind. We are what we eat and to see positive change makes the journey we are on so worth it.

1. Queen Victoria Market – get them to pick their own fruit and veggies and make a day of it. Grocery shopping can be fun when everyone is involved. 2. Melbourne Aquarium – The penguins are always a hit, and the sharks always scare us!

Top five items to put in a lunchbox:

3. Melbourne Zoo – Always a fun place to hang out and a great day out.

1. Low salt popcorn, it’s a fun food with a heap of nutritional benefits.

4. V Junior Cinemas – kid friendly cinemas with slides and bean bags.

2. Creative sandwich, turn a boring sandwich into ravioli, dumpling or spring roll.

5. Fitzroy Gardens – there’s the fun of the tram ride there, history with Captain Cooks Cottage, the fairy gardens and heaps of open space to run around.

3. Non watery fruits like stone fruits, apples, and berries. They don’t leak. 4. Mini veggies like mini cucumbers, carrots and tomatoes. 5. Love, always make the lunchbox as though it’s the last. Use the rainbow colours with fresh produce. Inspire your little humans.

Find out more about George and his fabulous creations at schoollunchboxblog.wordpress.com You can meet George and check out his amazing new book at the Pregnancy Babies & Children’s Expo, Oct 18-20 at Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre (MCEC).

Parklife green gully reserve We rushed to check out the newly redeveloped Green Gully Reserve as soon as it opened and were not disappointed. The focal point is a huge green tower with a large spiral slide to shoot you back down from the top, plus a straight slide for the less adventurous, along with observation window, lookout, and lots of climbing opportunities. Other attractions include a tightrope hill climb, climbing posts, and a xylophone panel. Younger kids will enjoy the small tunnel, tree stumps to jump between, balance beams, a small slide and of course the swings. A series of gorgeous carved wooden birds are a highlight and stepping stones around the

base of the tower and between the paths invite movement and exploration. Adults have not been forgotten with two fitness areas - the climbing gym is fantastic and will be popular with older kids too. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plenty of grass for ball games and Brimbank Bicycle Education Centre, and a dog off lead park with agility equipment are close by. The nearby bocce court was in action when we were there so we enjoyed watching the men play with their plastic cups of whiskey and passionate arguments over whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ball was closest! BBQs, drinking taps, toilets, shelter, picnic tables.

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HEALTH, HEART AND HAPPINESS The foods you eat and the lifestyle you lead effects your HEALTH, which directly effects your HEART and how you physically manage to live each day. This in turn effects your HAPPINESS and how you mentally cope from day to day. One doesn’t function without the other and all three have to be in tune with each other to help you become the strongest, fittest you. To be the best parent we need to look after ourselves, but it can be hard to find the time and energy to eat well and exercise regularly. So, let us introduce you to Lauren Hannaford. As parents, we’ve probably all seen Lauren before, you just might not realise it. A former member of The Wiggles, she’s graced our TV screens as Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog, and is also lucky to call the Red Wiggle Simon Pryce her husband! You might remember the two of them on Ninja Warrior Australia last year! Once an elite gymnast, Lauren moved into coaching and now runs her own online fitness program, FHIT by Lauren Hannaford, to help others become the strongest, fittest and healthiest version of themselves, full of health, happiness and heart.

Lauren, what does your average day look like? Each working day is pretty different for me, but I always wake up and do my best to beam out of bed for my morning workout. Of course, some days are harder than others, but I know how good I’ll feel once I start moving and get those endorphins going so I always try to workout first thing. My favourite days are when my husband Simon and I can work out together. After I work out, it’s breakfast time, emails and a bit of a social media scroll through. If I haven’t got any interviews or shoots to do then it’s content, content, content creation time. I always try to create as much

content for my FHIT members as I can so we are constantly growing and learning together. Simon is on tour most of the year, so I try to go on the road with him as much as possible.

Tell us about why health and fitness is so important to you. I think it’s fair to say that when we are feeling fit and healthy we tend to have clearer thoughts, and overall a more positive outlook to the day. Healthier choices make healthier decisions whether that be for family, socially or professionally. So for me fitness isn’t just about the physical benefits it gives but more importantly how good it is for my mental health and mental clarity it gives me.

What inspired you to create FHIT? There were a couple of reasons. The first being from the fact that I was doing so much travel with work and I didn’t have a regular routine or access to gyms. This inspired me to create workouts for myself that I could do anywhere, anytime. I then posted some of these workouts on my Instagram (@LozHannaford) and had so many people writing and wanting to do the same workouts. Secondly as my travelling slowed down a bit Simon’s travel continued as he is away 9-10 months of the year. I thought to myself, I want to be able to use technology and create something that allows me to connect with people all over the world and help them become the strongest, fittest and most confident version of themselves. The use of technology also meant that my workplace can be anywhere which gives me freedom and allows me to travel and see my wonderful husband. Hence the birth of FHIT!!

What’s your best advice on finding time to exercise? Schedule it in so you stay committed to it but most importantly don’t over think it. We seem to have this autopilot thought that unless you go and slog it out at the gym for an hour then you’re not really going to achieve anything. Break it down and take the pressure off. Any activity is good activity. You can do it anywhere,

anytime and you are only 15 minutes away from a good mood and improved physical fitness.

What makes your program so suited to mums compared to other online programs? FHIT is so suited to mum’s because it is convenient to do anywhere, anytime and without any equipment. Whether it be when their child is sleeping or playing in the lounge room - each workout in the first three programs are only 15 minutes which is perfect for time poor mums. I so often have members writing saying that they love how invigorated they feel from a workout that is only 15 minutes long AND better still how many mums write to say that their children try to join in and do it with them. It is such a nice way to bond and show your children the positive effects of exercise.

What’s the one health or wellness treatment you can’t live without? Massage!! This is one that has taken me a long time to understand as I always saw massages as just being a luxury treatment which I never allowed myself the time for. I have come to learn over time that just because it feels nice it doesn’t mean it’s about luxury. It feels good because it is good for your body and your body needs it to repair and recover. Just as we need to nourish our body with good food and water, we also need to look after our muscles.

I will graze on nuts and fruit throughout the day if my body is needing a little boost and for dinner I will have protein and vegetables. I tend to go for chicken or fish with lots of carrots, broccoli and zucchini with half a cup of brown rice if I’m extra hungry. On occasion I love a glass of red and some dark chocolate and I am also drinking looooadddss of water throughout the day.

And finally what’s your top 5 health and wellness tips: Drink lots of water - 3 litres a day. Get plenty of sleep - 8 hours a night. Exercise consistently. You don’t need to flog yourself. just stay consistent. Cut as much sugar out of your diet as possible. You will be amazed how much sugar is in the regular foods we eat. Understand your WHY! Knowing the core reason of why you are wanting to make healthier choices in your life is the key to reaching your goals. Find out more about FHIT at www.laurenhannaford.com.au

What does your day on a plate look like? I eat very simply and clean, but I also don’t deprive myself of the finer things that our taste buds love. When I wake up in the morning (usually about 6am) I have two big glasses of water. Then I have a double espresso as I get ready for the day. I always prefer working out on an empty stomach so after I train, depending on time I will either have a banana or shake on the go or cook some eggs with avocado if I have a bit more time. When lunch rolls around I will either have to graze on the go or I love a good pumpkin salad with lots of greens.

back to work Heading back to work after being a full time mum can be daunting. The transition from being a carer to returning to the pressures of the workforce is one that can be fraught with anxiety. I tried to go back to work as a childcare worker when my daughter was six months old. I only lasted two months! I thought ‘I can’t do this’, the big shock of ‘I’m at work again’ was too much. 18 months on from that shock, I began working at the University of Melbourne in marketing. This time round, I’m finding the finding the transition a whole lot easier. Why? Because for the last eighteen months I’ve volunteered one day a week at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (ASRC) in Footscray. I’ve found that volunteering is really important because it prepares you for transitioning from being a full-time mum at home to going back to the workforce, without a huge shock. Volunteering at the ASRC was my way of making a contribution. I saw first hand the challenges facing people seeking asylum and I wanted to help in some way.

I have no intention of stopping volunteering because it continues to help with my career, and it breaks the routine of home and work. It offers something in the middle of the week, the lunch is amazing and I’m able to give back to the community. There’s so many benefits to volunteering at the ASRC.

Volunteering at the ASRC was my way of making a contribution. I saw first hand the challenges facing people seeking asylum and I wanted to help in some way. The ASRC relies upon an incredible volunteer community of over 1,200 people who make a positive impact on the lives of people seeking asylum. Volunteering positions range from social workers and registered nurses to cooking volunteers who can whip up a hot lunch. Alexia is a volunteer at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (ASRC) in Footscray. If you’re interested in joining the team, the ASRC recruits volunteers every two months. The next round of roles will be advertised early September. Visit asrc.org.au/become-a-volunteer/ to view them.

But it’s also really helped me in so many ways. I get to volunteer in a relaxed environment, make friends, meet cool people and broaden my social scope. I’ve been able to slowly reintroduce myself to the outside world (after being a full time mum). The opportunity to have adult conversation, rather than sing The Wiggles all day has been a real bonus. I volunteer in the learning and development team at the ASRC, it’s a very broad position. One day I can be doing administrative work, the next I can be doing graphic design. I really like how varied it is. I currently work 3 days a week in my role at the University of Melbourne and it is the experience that I have gained from the ASRC that helped me build the skills that got me my role at the University of Melbourne. Photo credit: Sam Biddle

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Welcome to your perIod Back in our day if there was a question about sex, periods or any other embarrasing topic, we just consulted the pages of our beloved Dolly magazine and asked ‘Dolly Doctor’. So what do the kids of today do (besides ask Google or Siri?) Well, if your pre-teen has questions about periods, turns out Dolly Doctor still has the answers for them! Launched Aug 1st, Welcome to Your Period, is the ultimate menstruation manual for pre-teens (9-12 years) and is co-written by funny mama from Yumi Stynes and Dolly Doctor herself, Dr. Melissa Kang! Together they demystify everything from cramps to what to do with a used tampon, giving practical advice on surviving your period at school, at sleepovers or during sport, Welcome to Your Period is a complete guide. Welcome to Your Period takes the weird, mortifying and messy out of getting your period for the first time by offering candid advice on how to handle this bleeding business like a boss! Here’s a little sneak peak of what’s inside:

Before you get your period Being prepared for something that’s never happened to you before is tricky, right? Luckily there ARE some things you can do to prepare for your first period. 1. Sort out your period pack. Having your supplies on hand will help you feel ready for anything! 2. Try on a pad. Place the sticky side of the pad down onto your undies, underneath your vagina. Pull your undies back up and walk around. How does it feel? Pat your bum - can you feel it? Put your outfit back on and take a look in the mirror - can you see the pad through your clothes? Probably not, right? 3. Buy black undies. Black undies are way better than light-coloured ones for hiding leaks and spills (and trust us, leaks and spills are going to happen from time to time). We recommend phasing in LOTS of black ones - you might feel more comfortable wearing these on heavier days.

4. Talk about it! Ask your friends and the other period bosses in your life about their periods. We totally understand feeling a bit shy about it, but from experience we reckon you can always find a couple of menstruating adults who are up for a period chat! They may be able to share their experiences and give you some basic advice. 5. Read a book! The best thing about novels is that they allow you to experience something before it happens to you. Here are some of our favourite books that actually deal with periods in a meaningful way:

•• ••

The Last One in the Universe by Chrissie Perry Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Bloom To Night Owl From Dogfish by Holly Goldbery Sloan and Meg Wolitzer And of course read this book! Knowledge is power!

Your period pack should include: Menstruation products: Whether you prefer pads or tampons, include three in your pack. If you’re not sure yet, pads are a good place to start, but it’s nice to keep a spare tampon in there. They don’t take up much space, and one of your friends - or a strangermight ask you for one. Spare undies: It’s a good idea to keep these in a ziplock bag. If you have a period bleed on your undies then you can swap them for the clean pair and pop the stained ones into the ziplock bag to be washed when you get home. Pain medication: If you sometimes take pain medication like ibuprofen or paracetamol for your period, add two tablets to your period pack. Emergency chocolate: Just in case because chocolate is yum. Keep your period pack handy so that you can easily grab it at school, on your way home, out with friends or at your after-school job. A special little bag might seem a bit fancy or fussy, but we strongly recommend it because your period supplies can get really beaten up if they’re bouncing around loose inside your schoolbag. Or they might jump out of your bag when you’re not looking! This is an edited extract from Welcome to your Period by Yumi Stynes and Dr. Melissa Kang published by Hardie Grant Books RRP $19.99 and is available in stores nationally.

the COACH approach Have you ever been to a coach? You know, a Life Coach? A Life Coach?! You mean, with high fives and affirmations and jumping on sofas and unlocking your potential and finding your passion?? Ugh, no. Coaching is a goal-oriented approach to finding effective practical solutions to life challenges. It often gets a bad rap and to be honest, bad coaching can definitely be bad. But good coaching? Good coaching can be really, really good. Mums who are busy navigating life with family and friends and work tend to seek evidencebased coaching to help with a whole range of complex parenting and personal challenges. To give you a taste of coaching and how it works, here are Four Big Coaching Challenges for Mums and some fresh and effective ideas to help address them.

The Shoulds So many mums struggle with their own and others’ expectations of how they should live and parent. Deep down, they know what’s important to them but there’s so much noise out there that they find it hard to stick to and stay convinced by their own ideals. If you find yourself battling the Shoulds, you might find the following activity helpful. Activity: Take a piece of paper and jot down all the Shoulds and Shouldn’ts that come to mind. (There will probably be heaps).

Stuff like: I shouldn’t be on my phone, I should work, I should spend more time with my kids, I should be more grateful, I shouldn’t get frustrated, I should…you get the idea. Now, put your list aside. When you are ready, return to your list and assess your Shoulds critically, asking: where did you come from; do I agree with you; do I want to subscribe to you any longer; and if not, what do I really believe? The next time you find yourself grappling with a Should, remind yourself of what you really know.

Identity Heaps of mums come to coaching saying that since having kids they just don’t recognise themselves, that they want to rediscover who they are. Becoming a mum is a massive shift. So much tends to change – how you work, who you speak to, what you read and watch, how you think, what you wear, how you feel, who you hang out with, where you go, what you do, and even what you carry in your bag as you head out the door each morning. Coupled with extreme exhaustion and not-much-personal-space, these changes are incredibly challenging to consider, to understand and to integrate into a coherent sense of self. Activity: Take a piece of paper. Imagine that you are 105 and dying and looking back on a life you know you have lived really well. What tells you that? The answers you give reflect what matters to you in life. Even if you don’t recognise aspects of yourself right now, staying focused on what you value can offer a muchneeded personal anchor.

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Balance

Self-Doubt

Finding Balance is a HUGE topic among women who come to coaching. Balance is definitely possible but it all depends on your definition.

So many women are crippled by an internal voice telling them over and over that they’re not good enough. In most cases, the assertion is not supported by factual evidence. It’s just a statement fuelled by fear, which has managed to make its way into being believed.

If you’re focused on ensuring a beautifully calm and equal sharing of your time between work and family and community and self then it’s unlikely you’ll ever hit that perfect equilibrium. But if your concept of balance is having a life that you love and that feels rich and abundant and [mostly!] not-stressy, then that is absolutely do-able. Activity: Take a piece of paper and write down the key features of a great month in your life. You might list: playing with kids, time with your partner, exercise with friends, work, creativity, volunteering, gardening, joy, relaxation. Then, over the coming month, consciously build in time for each item you identified.

If and when you find yourself struggling with these negative messages, it can be really helpful to remind yourself that thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t necessarily reliable and they aren’t necessarily the truth. Activity: Try saying out loud: “I am a banana”. Now, are you a banana? No, you just had the thought that you were a banana. The same is true for all the other thoughts that run through your head. They are simply thoughts. So, the next time you find yourself crippled by an ‘I’m not good enough’ thought, try reminding yourself that it’s just a thought. And that you’re not a banana. By Alex Kingsmill, Upstairs Coaching, Brunswick upstairs.net.au

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good for mama good for the planet Activated Nutrients Grow Up and Top Up. All-in-one daily superfood powders for the whole family, with essential vitamins from organic wholefoods and clinically proven probiotics. Kid’s Grow Up from $29.95 Woman’s Top Up from $24.95. Activatednutrients.com EXYRA Sydney whiskey tortoise glasses. These glasses are specially designed to optimize vision when viewing content on digital screens by blocking blue light. No more sore, dry eyes. $98 exyra.com.au Who Gives a Crap premium bamboo toilet rolls. Made with environmentally friendly materials, and they donate 50% of their profits to help build toilets for those in need. $56 for 48 rolls whogivesacrap.org Thankyou hand wash refills. Refill your existing small bottle again and again to reduce plastic. Clean, soft hands that smell ah-mazing, full of plant-based goodness like nourishing almond oil, and the zingy fragrance of orange. RRP $12.50 thankyou.co Biome stainless steel pegs. Stainless steel wire pegs last ages and save you money. Made from one piece of wire so they never break . You’ll find pklenty of other uses and they make a great gift! From $18.95. www.biome.com.au BioGone plastic bags. Clean up after your pooch and help save the planet. Landfill Biodegradable dog bags that get completely eaten away by natural microorganisms after disposal to a landfill, allowing the contents inside to breakdown. RRP $8.80 www.biogone.com.au Swisse Matcha Tea Anti Pollution Clay Mask. Formulated with green Australian clay for a cool and calming facial treatment. It protects the skin from impurities caused by toxins and environmental triggers, and restores. Great for sensitive skin. RRP $20.99. swisse.com.au Stay Tray. Stay tray is all about simplicity, style and sustainability. Made out of 100% recycled polypropylene plastic and BPA-free, it’s not just for carrying coffee cups, it can also handle drink bottles, juices, baby bottles, fast food drinks and small thermoses. staytray.com.au Pana Organic Chocolate mint. Chocolate that’s full of antioxidants, amino acids, vitamins and minerals. Vegan, gluten free, dairy free, soy free, refined sugar free and preservative free. 60% raw cacao with pure essential peppermint oil. You can’t feel guilty with this yummy treat. RRP $6.90. Available at Coles.

Onya Produce bags 8 pack. Convenient reusable produce bags for your fresh fruit and veggies. The bags come in a colourful pouch making it easy to carry them to the shop and reduce your single use plastics. $19.95 www.onyalife.com

Black Chicken Axilla Natural Deodorant Paste. Nasty chemicals in your deodorant is the pits! This unique blend of natural and organic ingredients target and effectively neutralise odour without harmful chemicals or sweat blockers. RRP $18.50 blackchicken.com.au Eco-store Ultra sensitive laundry powder. A healthier, cleaner wash for the whole family. This awesome laundry powder leaves clothes clean and fresh and is perfect for little ones with this sensitive skin option. From $8.99 shop.ecostore.com.au Bamkiki bamboo toothbrushes. In Australia, over 100m plastic toothbrushes are consumed every year. Aussie biz Bambiki have a biodegradable option that gives back to the planet too. 5% of profits go to the Great Barrier Reef Foundation. 2 for $13.90 www.bamkiki.com.au Shampoo With A Purpose. This Aussie mum has replaced 6 bottles of shampoo and conditioner with this one, powerful little bar. You can use it on your whole body, saving water, time, money and the environment, with no plastic bottles. RRP $15 www.shampoowithapurpose.com Pod Star Coffee Capsules. Reusable coffee pods are the most eco-friendly way to use your coffee machine. Choose your coffee beans, save money and save the planet. Compatible with Nespresso, Caffitaly and Aldi machines. RRP from $39.95. Podstar.com.au Bendie Straws. Make plastic straws a thing of the past with these funky non-toxic food-grade silicone straws. Your new household staple for both kiddies and grown ups, saving the planet one beverage at a time. RRP $16 www.wemightbetiny.com BBBYO Insulated Coffee & Wine Fix Cup 350ml (2pk). Keep your wine cold or your coffee hot with this good looking 2-pack. Complete with two reusable stainless steel straws, straw cleaners and sipping lids, this set will have you ready for picnics and takeaways in zero waste style. RRP $42 www.biome.com.au Wonky Fruit and Vegetables Playset. Teach kids that veggies donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to look perfect and practice cutting with the wooden knife, then stick them back together! The toys are made from PlanWood, leftover sawdust from toy production, natural glue and organic pigments, so the toys themselves are also contributing to less waste. www.modernbrands.com.au Eloments Organic Vitamin Tea. This Melbourne based tea is the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first 100% natural, certified organic vitamin tea. Each tea bag contains over 40% of your recommended daily needs of vitamin B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9, C and zinc, with nothing artificial added. Available at Woolworths. RRP $7.50 PATCH Kids Coconut Oil Bandadges. The natural alternative to wound care and perfect for those with sensitive skin. These strips are made from natural bamboo and enriched with the natural goodness of coconut oil to promote natural wound recovery. RRP $6.99 patchstrips.com Zoku Slide Straw with Case & Cleaning Brush. This handbag friendly, enviro-friendly stainless steel straw has a sliding design and handy case, you can easily pack it with you wherever and whenever! RRP $19.95 www.everten.com.au

Busting Bedwetting Myths When your child is six or over and still wetting the bed at night – it might be time to consider treatment. Your child may eventually grow out of it – but at what cost? Bedwetting can impact family life, sleep quality, sleepovers, camps, holidays and more importantly – your child’s self-esteem, particularly as your child gets older.

Myth 2

There are treatment options that are very successful and very likely to get your child dry within around six to eight weeks. A largescale Australian study was conducted in 2018 reviewing 2,861 medical charts to determine the efficacy of the ‘Practitioner Assisted Bell and Pad Bedwetting Alarm’ approach . The findings revealed a success rate of 91% with this approach within the psychology clinic. A 77% rate of success was found overall across a broader range of settings.

Myth 3

Myth 1. I’ve tried using an alarm and it didn’t work, so there is no point in trying the same thing again. Wrong. Firstly, not all alarms are created equal. The 2018 study, quoted above, examined only the Ramsey Coote Instruments bell and pad system, which is produced locally in Melbourne. This product is designed for use under the care of a trained practitioner and it is robust, reliable and effective. Secondly, it is recommended that a child tries an alarm again after a period of time, and the research supports repeat use up to 2-3 times with a good success rate. Third, a practitioner assisted approach will help support, monitor and trouble shoot to ensure your child reaches success.

It’s best if I just let my child grow out of it. Wrong. A link between bedwetting and poor self-esteem has been well established. Those with bedwetting also have a poorer quality of sleep. If you take action to work out this issue your child will likely be more confident and better rested. Also, keep in mind that approximately 2% of children never grow out of bedwetting. Yep, that’s correct, approximately 2% of the adult population still regularly wet the bed.

If I pick my child up at night and take them to the toilet, this will help them learn what to do. Wrong. It might help you get through the night without a wet bed, but doing this does not help your child attain long term dryness. The skill they need to learn is to eventually rouse themselves from sleep, in response to a feeling of a full bladder, or learn to hold on, rather than just wake up randomly during the night to empty.

Myth 4 It will help to reduce water intake. Wrong. Reducing water intake in the afternoon almost never fixes the problem. Children take great satisfaction in hearing ‘your parents are actually wrong, you should be drinking MORE water!’ The recommended water intake for children depends of course on age, gender, temperature and amount of physical activity. What is important is that your child starts drinking adequate water early on in the day and continues drinking a good amount of water throughout the whole day. This way, when it gets to the evening, children should not be excessively thirsty and seeking to make up for inadequate daytime water intake.

Myth 5 Bedwetting is always completely normal and they will just eventually grow out of it. Wrong. This can be true but is not always the case. In children from 5 years and upwards the condition ‘enuresis’ can be diagnosed for children who regularly wet the bed. Treatment at around six or seven years of age is recommended. This condition is multi-factorial, with genetics, difficulty rousing from sleep, delay in anti-diuretic hormone and smallish bladder capacities all implicated. However, it is always best to consult your GP, paediatrician or continence nurse as sometimes (rarely) there can be underlying medical conditions associated with bedwetting. Your medical practitioner may look at constipation, sleep apnea, bladder dysfunction, diabetes, malformations of the spinal cord and a range of other medical conditions which may be associated with wetting the bed. If your child suddenly starts wetting again after a period of dryness your GP may screen for

infections or may consider emotional triggers. If your child has daytime lower urinary tract symptoms (straining, urgency, frequency, pain, poor stream) this is also worth raising with your GP. Your GP may recommend further investigations.

In conclusion Alarm therapy is a safe, drug free and effective approach to bedwetting treatment that gives the best likelihood of long term dryness. If you need help or support around bedwetting consult a medical professional. Useful information can also be obtained through The Victorian Continence Resource Centre. By Maria Dhroso, the psychologist at Dry Time Kids, a treatment clinic for children’s night time bedwetting. www.drytimekids.com.au The research referred to in this article was conducted by Apos, Schuster, Reece, Whitaker, Murphy, Golder, Leiper, Sullivan and Gibbs (2018) and can be found in the Journal of Pediatrics.

mama can Cook! BBQ cauliflower tacos Ingredients

Tahini sauce: 3/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper Juice of 1 lemon 1/3 cup tahini 1/2 garlic clove 1 cup fresh coriander leaves, plus more to serve 1 tsp ground cumin Tacos: 8 tortillas, toasted 1 medium cauliflower, chopped into florets 1 tbsp cumin 1 tbsp smoked paprika salt and pepper 2 tbsp olive oil Purple cabbage 1 avocado, sliced 1 lime, cut into wedges 1 chill, sliced

Method

Preheat oven to 180 degrees. To make the tahini sauce combine tahini, coriander, garlic, lemon juice, cumin, salt and black pepper in a small food processor or blender. Blend until texture is similar to pesto. Gradually drizzle in 5 tbsp. water and blend until sauce is light green and creamy. Next coat cauliflower with cumin, paprika, salt, pepper and olive oil. Roast for 25 mins or until golden brown, tossing half way through. Assemble tacos by filling each with roasted cauliflower. Top with shredded purple cabbage, sliced avocado, and drizzle with tahini sauce. Garnish with extra coriander, chilli and lime. Margaritas optional!

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Thai red curry noodle soup Ingredients

Method

1 tbsp. olive oil

In a large soup pot, heat a splash of oil then add your brown onion. Sweat for 5 minutes and stir often to avoid burning.

1 brown onion, finely diced 1 red capsicum, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 in. cube ginger, skin off, grated 1/2 tbsp. curry powder 1/2 tsp. cumin

Now add your capsicum and soften for 1 - 2 minutes before adding your garlic, ginger, curry powder and cumin. Cook for a few more minutes until fragrant. Add the pumpkin with a big splash of water and put the lid on for 5 minutes until the pumpkin starts to soften.

1 1/2 tbsp. red curry paste

Remove lid, increase to high heat, add curry paste, seasoning to taste, coconut milk, water, crumbled veggie stock cube, tamari, tofu and chilli flakes (if using).

1 400ml can coconut milk

Stir until combined and slowly bring to a boil.

3 cups boiling water

Once bubbling, add your noodles and reduce heat. Cook for another 5 minutes.

1 cup pumpkin, cubed

1 veggie stock cube, crumbled 1 heaped tbsp. nutritional yeast

Serve soup hot, topped with freshly chopped coriander, chilli, red onion and lime wedges to taste.

350g pack of tofu, cubed

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1/2 tbsp. tamari (or soy sauce)

Chilli flakes to taste 200g vermicelli rice noodles To garnish: Fresh coriander, lime wedges, red onion and chilli

turn the page A boy called Bob Becomes an AFL Footballer by Bob Murphy with Tony Wilson This is the story of a boy called Bob. He’s a little scrawny, a little scruffy, and he likes to sniff footballs (weird). But he has the game in his veins and he’s determined to be one of the greats, like his hero from the mighty Tigers, Matthew Richardson. Follow Bob as he gets drafted to the Western Bulldogs at 17, slogs his guts out at training with the big Dogs and, finally, becomes one of the greatest football captains ever. 9 to 12 years. Published by Piccolo Nero, RRP $17.99.

Welcome to your Period by Yumi Stynes & Dr Melissa Kang Getting your period for the first time can be mortifying, weird and messy – and asking questions about it can feel even worse. But it doesn’t have to be like that! This little book is packed with honest advice on all the things you need to know: from what cramps feel like to whether you can feel it coming out, to what you should do if your pad leaks onto your clothes. Welcome To Your Period is a frank, funny, age-appropriate guide for pre-teens about getting your period, from Dr Melissa Kang (a former Dolly Doctor) and Yumi Stynes. Published by Hardie Grant Books. RRP $19.99

Into the Wild: Wolf Girl by Anh Do When disaster separates Gwen from her family, she must fend for herself, all alone in the wilderness. Luckily, she’s not alone for long… When a wolf puppy, a Labrador, a Chihuahua, and a greyhound want to make friends, Gwen discovers talents she didn’t know she possessed. It will take all her new skills and strength just to survive. Does Gwen have what it takes to be leader of the pack? 8+ years. Published by Affirm Press Kids. RRP $14.99

Argh! There’s a Skeleton Inside You! by Idan Ben-Barak and Julian Frost A funny picture book about a fascinating concept in science, by the highly successful duo who brought us Do Not Lick This Book (it’s full of germs) the award-winning author of Small Wonders, and the animator behind the wildly successful video ‘Dumb Ways to Die’. An interstellar exploration of hands and what’s inside them! Published by Allen & Unwin. RRP $19.99

There’s Only One Dad Like You by Jess Racklyeft There’s only one dad like you, Dad. My hero, friend and guide. You teach me about this great big world and how to enjoy the ride. Wise dads, caring dads, daring dads, creative dads – each dad brings their own sense of fun. Joyful, tender and heartfelt, There’s Only One Dad Like You is a celebration of the merry magic of dads. The perfect book for celebrating the magic of Father’s Day! Published by Affirm Press Kids. RRP $19.99 26

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A confIdence KICK In a world where we are constantly reminded of our limitations, find a place where kids are constantly told of their potential. Confidence programs that use sport as the engaging platform to help kids develop personal and social confidence, will support them for life. I remember what it was like to be the child that was bullied because of his weight, and to be the last one to be picked for a team. I also remember what it was like to need someone to believe in me. So today, I run a company that does just that for hundreds of kids every year. I love that the world is waking up to mental health, social and emotional wellbeing, and emotional intelligence. I am committed to making a genuine difference to little lives. Because those little lives are the legacy we leave behind.

But what age should I focus on my kid’s confidence, mental health, and wellbeing? I start working with kids from two because I’m passionate about building ‘the platform’. A solid foundation for a confident, resilient and self-assured person. We know that teenage years are incredibly tough. There are few things more challenging than the mix of hormones and peer pressure for a young person. So, instead of focusing on how we can support teens through feelings of inadequacy and low confidence, we drive our focus on what we can do before those years hit. Main focuses for very young kids are about building a positive relationship with someone other than Mum and Dad, a sense of safety in a new space and providing opportunities to engage and socialise with other kids. It’s about positive praise and creating positive pathways in the brain that say ‘being active makes me happy.’

Focusing on forming positive relationships, building resilience, recognising inner strengths and overcoming personal challenges is critical. The best part is that most of the time the kids don’t realise they’re learning these crucial skills, it’s just fun. My message to mums and dads is to focus on building up your child’s positive mental health early.

My kid isn’t the sporty type. How can I encourage them to be active? What if we focused on kid’s sport as a way of opening opportunities for them to look after their wellbeing, rather than being at the top of their game? What if we created experiences that allowed them to enjoy a variety of activities that as they get older? Activities that support and help maintain great physical, mental and emotional health? What if we thought of physical activity as a tool that can help our kids to be the best version of themselves? I was recently interviewed at an ‘Action for Happiness’ event where I shared how, in order to maintain my own wellbeing, I use many different activities, like golf, soccer, swimming, bike riding, etc. By having this variety, I am able to tailor what I need to what I am in the mood for. It’s not about winning, but rather doing and enjoying. It’s the same for kids. Kids are resilient and persistent. If we limit them to what they know and are good at, they won’t grow to fulfil their potential. Remember; kids label what’s ‘difficult, or new, as ‘I don’t like it’. It’s our job to support all kids through challenges so they realise their confidence. Offering a variety of sports and the chance to create great experiences is important. Carlo Chincarini is the founder of Fit-Kicks Sport programs. fitkicks.com.au

Don’t get greenwashed Not all “biodegradable” plastics are created equal Going green is one of the fastest growing consumer trends today. Good news for the environment with eco-friendly consumers putting pressure on brands to create sustainable products. But extremely damaging when companies simply jump on the band wagon by using misleading labelling and packaging.

Buyer beware Be wary of any claim of being “Biodegradable” if there are no details on where it will biodegrade and how it will biodegrade. Ask yourself “where is it going to be disposed of for it to biodegrade? In a landfill? In a home compost? Or in a commercial composting facility?” And if it claims to be “recyclable”, ask yourself if it can be mainstream recycled – meaning it can go into your household recycle bin for council collection. If the answer is NO, then don’t buy it.

Know what the labels mean With no national requirement for product labelling, consumers are easy targets for misinformation. Let education be your best defence and learn what the labels mean. Bioplastics are made from plant-based materials. Only a small portion of bioplastics are biodegradable, most of which require a municipal or commercial compost facility to biodegrade and they cannot be recycled. Compostable plastics refer to “biodegradable” plastics made from plant-based materials like corn and wheat starch which will only biodegrade if composted in a municipal or commercial compost facility. PLA or Polylactide for example is a compostable plastic. Unfortunately, there are not many composting facilities available or accessible in Australia. In fact, there is no existing infrastructure to separate

compostable plastics from other waste or to transport them to such facilities, resulting in them going to landfill. “Compostable plastic” will not biodegrade in landfill as the environment there is too cool. They also cannot be recycled. Degradable plastics have nothing to do with biodegradation and microorganisms. “Degradable” or “oxo-degradable” plastics use a metallic additive that sets off a slow chemical reaction and over 12-24 months which causes the plastic to fragment into little pieces. So, instead of one piece of plastic we end up with hundreds or thousands of little pieces of plastic which may not be visible, but create a worse result for the environment, particularly when marine animals easily consume these fragments. “Degradable” plastics cannot be composted or recycled. Landfill biodegradable plastics incorporate an organic food source additive in the plastic at the time of manufacture. When disposed to a landfill they attract naturally occurring microbes that exist in there. The microbes seek out the food and in the process the enzymes they secrete break down the long polymer molecules where they can be digested too. The resulting products of the biodegradation are a biogas and a biomass (humus). There is no plastic residue left or any toxic constituents. “Landfill biodegradable” plastics can be recycled. They can also be composted in a municipal or commercial compost facility. Their results are verified by various ASTM testing methods. NOTE: No plastic is good in the ocean. There are no microbes present there to biodegrade the material away. By Dr Ross Headifen, educator of responsible plastic use and co-founder of Biogone. biogone.com.au

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WE LOVE A MOTHER Frances Bilbao is a Clinical Psychologist and founder of Mums Matter Psychology. Mums Matter Psychology’s mission is to provide accessible, quality, tailored therapy and resources for women and their families during the perinatal period to promote positive and joyful parent-child relationships. Tell us a bit about you and your family.

What does Mums Matter Psychology offer?

I’m a westside mama of my daughter aged 5 and my son who is almost 2. My husband and I moved to the west of Melbourne after having our daughter for more living space and absolutely love the family friendly environment here. We enjoy taking our bikes out on the weekend and riding along the beautiful waterfront that is Hobson’s Bay. You can usually catch us having a sneaky ice-cream along the way.

We offer individual and group therapy and workshops for women experiencing emotional difficulties in the perinatal period (anywhere on the journey from attempting to become pregnant through to raising young children). We partner with three local councils (Brimbank, Hobson’s Bay and Maribyrnong) to deliver our services from the Maternal & Child Health centres as well as Sunshine Hospital to provide integrated and holistic care through the client’s perinatal journey in a non-stigmatising, family friendly environment. We have a team of 11 registered clinical and general psychologists all with a minimum of 6 years university training (some closer to 10!) who work daily with pregnant women and new parents. Everyone has additional training in perinatal mental health.

What’s the story behind you wanting to start up Mums Matter Psychology? Prior to my having my children I was working as a management consultant. I worked on global projects for large companies and government agencies which involved a lot of travel and quite long hours. As my husband and I looked to the future and started to think about having a family, I felt this lifestyle would not be sustainable. More importantly, the work itself didn’t inspire me. At that point I returned to university to complete my clinical psychology training and follow my interest and passion in this area. As part of this I completed a placement in perinatal mental health and realised how important this time of life was and how much support is really needed. This became even more evident to me after my daughter was born in 2014. This is when I started Mums Matter Psychology.

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What do you like most about what you do? I am very passionate about providing mums and families the support they need during the difficult and vulnerable time of transitioning to parenthood. It is a privilege to be a part of someone’s deep personal journey and incredibly rewarding to witness the changes that people can make to their lives. My client’s bravery is inspirational to me. Having my own business also allows me to be flexible and craft my work schedule around my children’s needs. I also enjoy being able to offer other working mums the opportunity for flexible work hours with most of my team of psychologists having young families also.

For many women, the postnatal period can be overwhelming and stressful, so it is important to prioritise, plan and schedule your own selfcare. This starts with the basics of sleep, eating well and keeping active even if in small ways. Try to do something pleasant or enjoyable every day or every other day and plan these for the week ahead. Access your social supports and spend time with family and friends, particularly those people who are most likely to provide comfort or boost your mood. Most importantly, try to be kind to yourself the way you would a close friend.

Photo: www.elkandwillow.com

How can women look after themselves when their children are small?

How can a psychologist or counsellor assist?

Mums Matter Psychology is located in 12 Maternal and Child Health centres throughout the Brimbank, Hobson’s Bay, Maribyrnong and Hume city councils.

Photo: www.elkandwillow.com

Where you can find you?

Photo: vickypalmieri.com

When in moments of emotional pain, confusion, sadness or despair, many of us have probably been advised to “talk it through” with someone. While intuitively we know that talking about our problems has benefits, there is also solid research to show that words do have a real impact on how we experience emotions. Of course, different approaches work for different people, but in general, scientific studies show that when we speak about our thoughts and emotions they actually decrease in intensity. This seems to be because talking about things can help us to work through confusion, problem-solve, see things from a new perspective, discover solutions and find clarity. Chatting can also help us to get some distance from our thoughts and feelings, and to feel less alone. A psychologist or counsellor may also teach specific strategies and techniques to improve emotional regulation, communication in relationships (including parent and child), self-care and mood. Therapy is also a space reserved just for you. You can let go of the need to check-in with and take care of others. Your sessions give you time to focus solely on yourself.

www.mumsmatterpsychology.com @mumsmatterpsychology

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Boys are not tough Male vulnerability in terms of health and wellbeing has been well-researched. This research continues to bring forward evidence that little girls develop faster and more thoroughly than little boys from conception. Even before I became a mother of my four awesome sons, I spent a childhood with my little brother who was much gentler and often less brave than me. Maybe this helped me to realise that boys are not inherently tough, even though they have a larger amount of muscle than girls. Physical strength is one thing but mental and emotional strength that can impact cognitive abilities and linguistic capacities is something else. Twenty-five years ago, Steve Biddulph wrote his first book about boys called Raising Boys and in it he explores this same notion of fragility, especially in little boys under five. Statistically, boys die in-utero at a higher rate than girls; they die at birth at a higher rate than girls and they die in the first 12 months of life at a higher rate than girls. This situation continues through life, however, there are lots of other reasons why this discrepancy happens so let’s start at the very beginning of life. Technically, every embryo starts off female and sometime in the first 12 weeks of life, the massive flooding of hormones stimulates the embryo to either stay female or become male. Fascinating information to start with.

In Steve Biddulph’s latest, updated edition of his book, Raising Boys in the 21st Century, he explores a 2017 review of empirical research from highly regarded neuropsychologist Alan Schore, which suggests that the marinade of testosterone in-utero seems to slow down the growth and development of the male baby’s brain. On top of the influence of hormones and social experience, Schore presents evidence that something else is happening in our baby boys’ development. His ground breaking work has shown that the delay in brain maturation makes boys more vulnerable in the long run to social stress (attachment trauma) and physical stress via endocrine disruptors or toxins in the environment. He goes on to say this “negatively impacts” their right brain development. Basically, this impacts our boys’ social and emotional functioning, and their capacity to cope with stress. The first thousand days from conception to the age of two are incredibly important and we need to nurture all babies and care for them as lovingly and calmly as possible. For our boys, though, it seems they are even more fragile, especially when it comes to attachment and bondedness — which influence our primary driver in life, human connectedness. Belonging is another way of explaining attachment, which is the relationship between a key adult and a child, and then their wider community. Babies, toddlers and children need

to have primary attachments – ‘big people’ they can trust to nurture and care for them. These people help guide and teach them all that they will need to know in life so they can become independent, capable adults. It is helpful for parents of babies and toddlers to have a circle of caring adults who can share in raising children. This allows for support, guidance and respite, which helps every parent, especially tired mummies, cope with this intensive time. For children who are in long-day child care, the early years’ educators who form a loving, caring connection to them are technically a source of primary attachment, often called secondary attachment figures. If you take a look on YouTube at videos from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, they explain the concept of ‘serve and return’ interaction between a child and their significant adults, where children reach out for interaction and, when adults respond, it assists essential brain wiring to occur. Attachment is the ‘super glue’ that holds a child in close proximity to a parent/caregiver. A child is meant to pursue proximity, which means being close to their big person so that they feel safe and are safe. Attachment is as important to healthy child development as eating or sleeping. Indeed, in much of the most recent research, strong attachment and bondedness can be shown to be the most significant influence

on emotional wellbeing, mental health and physical health for life and so if our little boys have a tendency to be more prone to the damaging effects of poor attachment, then this needs to be the number one focus of all parents of new baby boys. Maybe this needs to be spoken of in the prenatal classes given that we know the long-term negative consequences of this in our sons’ lives. This new review of interdisciplinary research by Schore supports the major premise that Biddulph made 25 years ago, where he wrote that he believed our young boys were more prone to separation distress and anxiety, and that they could become emotionally shut down as a result of feeling abandoned. This is also supported by research that shows that male adolescent violence is now strongly linked to neglect in early childhood, particularly a lack of physical and emotional nurturing (and, indeed, a lack of play). These are things that we can fix with awareness, knowledge and, most importantly, action. When we invest heavily in nurturing them, helping them to understand big, ugly feelings and teaching them ways to make better choices warmly and compassionately, we can change the future lives of tomorrow’s men. This is an edited extract from Mothering Our Boys: A guide for mums of sons by Maggie Dent. Maggie is one of Australia’s favourite parenting authors and educators, and host of the new ABC podcast, Parental As Anything. www.maggiedent.com

CoworkIng –the perfect solutIon for busy parents When we had children, our ideas on work and family shifted. As parents who ran their own business, we were looking for flexibility and solutions to new challenges. But getting our work started, or restarted, took time, know-how and support. Sound too hard? We don’t think so. Hello coworking! Coworking gives parents the freedom to work for themselves, in an inspiring space, with a community of like-minded folks. It gives them the head space and physical space to give their clients and work their very best.

What is coworking? Coworking spaces are popular in Melbourne and around the world. They are usually openplan work spaces and many also have other options. These might include private areas for meetings, events, and social and networking opportunities. They offer business support, reception and mail services, full kitchen, coffee, snacks, and other facilities. They are a great alternative to working from home or the local coffee shop where noise, distraction and lack of privacy are issues. Coworking arrangements appeal to both people working for themselves and to businesses. A 2018 report on coworking in Australia found that the main reasons people cowork are: 1. It’s quick and easy to find a great work space 2. Flexibility is front and centre in the cowork model 3. Coworking is more affordable than other rental options 4. C oworking culture is all about connection, collaboration, wellbeing, and innovation 38

Why do parents love coworking? Coworking offers parents the flexibility to arrange work around family commitments and other life stuff. For parents, a well-designed cowork space promotes wellbeing, healthier workflow and a sense of calm, freedom and convenience. Family friendly membership models now allow members to drop in for a couple of hours or the whole day. They can see their clients, catch up on their admin, or find the brain space they need to get things in order. Traditional coworks have catered for industries like IT, marketing and design. Now, coworks are beginning to offer industry specific workspaces. This includes spaces for female dominated industries, such as psychology and other health professions. This allows for more meaningful connection and sharing of ideas.

Wondering about childcare? No problem. Coworking spaces are beginning to offer flexible childcare options. These can range from regular onsite childcare, child friendly work days/events, to partnerships with quality inhome nanny services. Still not convinced? All coworks offer tours and trials, why not go and see how it could work for you. The professional-parent life. It’s crazy, it’s tough and wonderful all at the same time. We know you will survive the family and work juggle, but coworking can help you thrive at both. And love it. By Daniela and Brooke from Union Co. a cowork space in Essendon for psychologists and allied health professionals. @unionco_cowork www.unionco.com.au.

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Busy RushIng Mum Are you a ‘rushing woman’? Do you often feel like you’re racing through each day trying to get everything done, feeling like there is no time to stop to catch your breath? If so, you’re not alone! We had one of those mornings in our household today... despite the children being up around 5.30am, we were still rushing out the door to leave for school at 8.50am. Not my ideal way to start the day. There were ongoing conflicts between the boys and further conflicts about who started it, whining and cortisol (stress hormone) levels were peaking on all fronts! I was busily trying to attend to the usual morning requirements, but my focus was also on getting something done that I needed for this morning. Something that I had planned to do last night when I wouldn’t be uninterrupted, but by the time everyone was in bed I was just too tired...

We are all trying to do so much each day, often shifting from managing children, into work mode and then back again with barely a breath in between! If I’m not totally focused and present in the mornings, it all seems to turn to chaos! Thankfully, once the boys were at school I was able to head off on a walk and remembered to do some 6:2 Calm Breathing (one of my favourite simple stress relieving breath techniques) simply breathe slowly in to the count of 6, hold for the count of two, breathe out again to the count of 6, hold to the count

of 2 before beginning the cycle again. Repeat for a few cycles to lower my cortisol levels and switch my nervous system from fight or flight, busy-rushed-morning mode and into a calmer state to move into the rest of the day. So many of the women who I work with talk about feeling stressed and rushed ALL OF THE TIME and I DO understand. We are all trying to do so much each day, often shifting from managing children, into work mode and then back again with barely a breath in between! No wonder so many of women are experiencing the physical symptoms of stress such as digestive issues, anxiety, headaches and sleep difficulties or where that stress has been chronic, hormonal, adrenal, thyroid imbalance, weight gain and eventually burnout. Dr. Libby Weaver talks about what she calls ‘Rushing Women’s Syndrome’ which isn’t a medically recognised thing, but so many of the women that I work with (and I myself) can really relate to what she talks about in relation to this epidemic of being on the go all the time and the way that that begins to affect both your physical health and your overall wellbeing. Stress has a HUGE impact on health and is a key driver of the imbalance that underlies so many health issues. A healthy foundation through a healthy diet, adequate sleep and movement is essential and there are also many natural herbal and nutritional options that can provide additional support for the nervous system or adrenal glands through stressful times but until we address the stress and find ways to create more balance within our lives, we can tend to continue to feel like we’re constantly running on that treadmill trying to keep up!

Stress has a HUGE impact on health and is a key driver of the imbalance that underlies so many health issues. Stress can affect each of us differently but common symptoms of stress are: • Difficulty sleeping or poor sleep quality • Feeling tired but wired • Always being tired or even exhausted • Digestive issues • PMT, period issues or hormonal imbalances • Sugar cravings • Poor concentration or memory • Anxiety

Oh and of course it’s also a reminder to remember to do my calm breathing in the midst of a challenging morning rather than only remembering afterwards! By Annabel Mason. Annabel is a naturopath and holistic health coach based in Ballarat. She is a mum and step-mum to two boys and a stepdaughter. She is also the creator of Blossom Infusions, a range of loose leaf herbal teas which encourage slowing down to make and enjoy a cup of tea and take a moment out of your busy day! blossomwellbeing.com.au

• Feeling irritable, quick to anger or frustration • Feeling overwhelmed • Difficulty relaxing • Muscular tension leading to headaches • F requent infections and being constantly ‘run down’ • Skin breakouts or rashes • H igh blood pressure, elevated heart rate, palpitations So ask yourself…It is helpful to regularly review the things on your ‘to-do’ list- are they all necessary? Is there anything that you can let go of or do differently? Is there anything that you need to add in to create a healthier foundation to support your body better? Do you need more sleep? More movement and fresh air? More down time and relaxation? More fun? How can you schedule these things in so that they become just as important as everything else on the list? For me, a challenging morning (or a challenging week!) is a reminder to regularly review how I am doing things, how can I better support myself so that I can be at my best and be more present to those around me? Where do I need to take the pressure off myself? Or be more organised? Or approach something differently?

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SocIal Health Could the answer to long term health be found at the end of your phone line? When it comes to living well and living long, there is one aspect of our lives which has a tremendous impact â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Social Connection. Good friends are essential for long term positive health and wellbeing. Having good quality friendships is important for longevity. The impact of social ties to your lifespan is twice as effective as exercising and has the same impact as quitting smoking. Having good friends has also been linked to better overall health. In particular, your emotional wellbeing is closely link to the quality of your friendships and your perception of level and quality of support available to you. Unfortunately, modern motherhood lends itself to feelings of insecurity, isolation and loneliness. The quality of social connection in mothers (particularly working mothers) is often strained. A recent Galaxy Research study of 1000 Australian mums found 54% of mums felt most upset by criticism from family and friends. This leaves many mothers feeling insecure in their current relationships and in being judged by potential new friends. An added difficulty modern mothers face is the fact that many mums wait until their careers are settled to have children. They are busy working, managing finances, raising children, rushing to

meet work demands, whilst trying to make time for friends and family; let alone taking some down time for themselves. Making time to create new connections at your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s school or kinder can be the last thing mums feel like doing.

Am I the only one? One of the positives of social media is that it can provide connection, particularly with close friends and family who live too far away from you to visit. However, the downside is that it perpetuates social comparison of other mothers. This comparison often leads to assuming other mothers are socialising and living fun, organised and happy lives. Whilst this is far from reality. In fact research tells us that most Australians do not feel socially connected, at least not like Australians felt in the 1960s. Times have changed and life is busier than in was in the 1960s, but our need for social connection remains. The impact of being socially isolated is significant and mothers are feeling this most of all.

Being more connected is in your hands We know being socially connected is vitally important to our health. We also know times have changed and technology, busy lives, modern apartment living and social media have made it more challenging to make long lasting friends.

So how can you ensure you’re living a connected life? The answer is three-fold: 1. Increase social connection in daily interactions Every day you encounter people. When you walk around your home, office, supermarket, public transport, schools, cafes and so on, you pass people. Every interaction or transaction provides you with an opportunity to connect. In the 1960s people knew their local merchants. Today most people just shop with a singleminded focus and don’t engage with their surroundings. This is where markets, butchers, café staff and grocers are wonderful places to connect. If you create local and regular shopping experiences, you can develop deep and personal friendships with people you encounter on a regular basis. My husband and I have been shopping at the same butcher in Melbourne for over 10 years. The staff have seen our daughters grow up and as a result, we have involved them in this social connection too. Likewise, over the years the friends we have met in regular cafes have become lifelong friends. These friendships develop organically, without pressure and are usually light and fun.

2. Remember those old friends you have been neglecting? As new mums we often think we need to have similar friends or ones that have children like ours so they can play together. Whilst it is a good idea to connect to other parents to make

organising play-dates easier, here we are talking about YOUR play-dates. Often we neglect our friends we invested in before having children. So take time to pick up the phone or even send a text to reconnect with those who have in the past showed you how much they care and support you for who you really are – not just because you’re a mum.

3. Categorise friendships and family and create appropriate boundaries and expectations based on these categories It’s common to assume all friends are equal, but this is not the case. We can’t expect new friends to put our needs before their own, or those of their close long-term friends or family. We can’t expect things to never change in large social groups that are prone to gossip and potential bullying. We need to see these groups for what they are. Place them in perspective and be mindful of how much to invest in these groups in return. These groups generally are not the ones to tell your deepest secrets to, or to confide in when you feel down, stressed or angry. These are generally the groups to keep things light and fun. Your closest friends, with whom you have built trust over time, are the ones to confide in and invest in for the long run. If you are mindful of these three things, you will do wonders for your wellbeing and overall happiness right now and in future years to come.

Often we neglect our friends we invested in before having children. So take time to pick up the phone or even send a text to reconnect with those who have in the past showed you how much they care and support you for who you really are – not just because you’re a mum. By Lizzie O’Halloran, counsellor and life coach, founder of Help For Mums and author of Perfect Mums and Refresh Your Life. www.helpformums.com 47

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