Issue12

Should we be playing God?

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Why Engels?

Why now?

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MUSIC: A tribute to Starman

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WWW.MANCUNION.COM 1st FEBRUARY 2016 / ISSUE 12 FREE

Rhodes will not fall at Oxford college Charlie Spargo Editor-in-chief After months of debate and discussion, it has been announced that the statue of controversial 19th century imperialist Cecil Rhodes will remain at Oriel College Oxford.

Yesterday the college announced that following a considered consultation, “the college’s governing body has decided that the statue should remain in place and that the college will seek to provide a clear historical context to explain why it is there.”

It had been warned that around £100 million in gifts would be lost if the Rhodes statue was removed, but emphasised it was not the financial threat that made their decision.

Cecil Rhodes was a British imperialist businessman and politician in South Africa, after whom Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe and Zambia) was named. He expressed a clear belief in the superiority of Anglo-Saxons, and is remembered for the introduction of forced segregation of races.

Rhodes was a generous benefactor to the university. He donated some £6 million to the university (approximately £700 million today). Because of his support, a statue of him was installed at Oriel College and a famed intentional scholarship was formed under his

name. Recipients of the International Rhodes Scholarship include former President of the United States, Bill Clinton, Astronomer Edwin Hubble, and American politician William Fulbright.

The Rhodes Must Fall movement has been campaigning for the statue’s removal due to its status as a reminder of Britain’s brutal past and described it as an “imperial blind spot.” The movement has been demanding the statue be removed and that the university “decolonise its space, the curriculum” and its “institutional memory” and “fight intersectional oppression.”

It has stated that more representation should be given to black voices at the university. Members state that through the campaign they wish to start a critical conversation about the university’s past role in tolerating colonial violence and advocating ideals of cultural superiority.

Campaigners cite low acceptance statistics for BME students at Oxford as proof of continued racial bias. In 2013, out of 2,233 domestic acceptances given out to applicants, only 48 were given to students from an African, Caribbean or mixed background. Excluding students from a mixed racial background, domestic African and Caribbean applicants made up just 1.3 per cent of acceptances.

“Rhodes is responsible for all manner of stealing land, massacring tens of

thousands of black Africans, imposing a regime of unspeakable labour exploitation in the diamond mines and devising proto-apartheid policies,” said Brian Kwoba, 33, organiser of the campaign and Oxford doctoral student.

“The significance of taking down the statue is simple: Cecil Rhodes is the Hitler of southern Africa. Would anyone countenance a statue of Hitler?”

Oriel College agreed to remove a plaque dedicated to Rhodes in December and opened consultation on the removal of the statue.

“Since that announcement, we have received an enormous amount of input, including comments from students and academics, alumni, heritage bodies, national and student polls and a further petition, as well as over 500 direct written responses to the college,” said a college spokesperson.

“The overwhelming message we have received has been in support of the statue remaining in place, for a variety of reasons.”

The plaque is also set to stay and its context will be clearly explained.

In response to the national controversy, Oxford University Chancellor and former Conservative MP Chris Patten told students earlier this month that if they would not embrace freedom of thought and “generosity of spirit… they should think about being educated elsewhere.”

University of Manchester top 100 LGBT*-friendly workplaces Merle Streck Senior Reporter A total of twelve universities have been included in the list of Stonewall’s top 100 employers, with the University of Manchester in 53rd place in the ranking. The Stonewall group evaluates organisations across the country and provides a list compiled from submissions to the Workplace Equality Index in order to ascertain which institutions are the best workplaces for lesbian, gay or bisexual employees. About 400 organizations entered the 2016 Index. As part of the evaluation, employers are assessed on 10 areas of employment

practices in which 50,000 employees take part in a survey about gay-friendly policies in the workplace.

Ruth Hunt, Chief Executive at Stonewall announced in the report that the Work Place Equality Index is taking significant steps in becoming more transinclusive: “Through consultation, feedback and gathering best practice, we’re developing a great sense of trans experiences in the workplace which will only continue to grow, and we’re fully committed to helping you drive transinclusion in your organisation.”

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Front page photos: limespiked @Flickr and suchnone @Flickr

Continued from Page One Highlights P23

Food: McDonald’s: The unanticipated review you didn’t know you needed

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Twelve universities have made the list in Stonewall’s top 100 employers for LGBT*-friendly workplaces, with the University of Manchester ranked at 53rd Responding to this recent development of the Work Place Equality Index becoming more transinclusive, Claudia Carvell, who currently works at the LGBT Foundation and finished her postgraduate studies at the University of Manchester in September 2015, says: “Whilst Stonewall’s 2016 report states that the “Top 100” index has taken the “first steps to becoming trans inclusive”, there’s inconsistency throughout the survey criteria as to whether it refers to inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT), or whether this is just about lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) inclusion. This is key because on a whole, trans and bisexual people tend to experience high levels of discrimination, both inside and outside of the LGBT community.”

The Security Service MI5 was awarded Employer of the Year 2016 and has moved from 134th place to first place within six years. Out of the thirteen universities, Cardiff University was placed 20th on the list, followed by Swansea University on 36th place, Teeside (44th), Birmingham (50th) and Essex University a joint 53rd with the University of Manchester.

Carvell also comments on Manchester’s listing as a “gay-friendly” university: “It is definitely positive that attention is being paid to how inclusive workplaces are and that universities are being included in the ‘Top 100’. From my personal experience as

an undergrad and postgrad student at the University of Manchester, I definitely believe that the University of Manchester deserves to be on the list— many of the staff I had the pleasure of being taught by were openly non-heterosexual and all of the staff—both academic and otherwise—that I ‘came out’ to in one way or another, were accepting.

Throughout my degrees, I also worked as a University of Manchester member of staff in a bar on the Fallowfield campus: I was “out” the entire time and felt completely supported by my colleagues.”

“I think the work being done by the Equality and Diversity department and the LGBT staff network contribute significantly to the inclusive nature of the University of Manchester for staff and by extension, students. On top of that, Manchester is a more “gay-friendly” city than many other places across the UK—largely due to the sense of community enabled by Canal Street and the volume of LGBT voluntary and community sector organisations we have to choose from.

In her statement to The Mancunion, Natasha Brooks, the University of Manchester Diversity Executive at the Students’ Union, said: “It’s fantastic to learn that the university has been placed within the ‘Top 100 Employers’ again and that the score has increased this year. It is important that this acknowledgement is recognised and I hope that the

university continues to take an active approach to address the ongoing issues that both LGB staff and students face as there is still a significant amount of work to be done. Furthermore, it is particularly promising to hear that Stonewall is working to include gender identity criteria.”

Nonetheless, according to Carvell, there is still progress to be made: “Anyone that works in this field knows there’s still a long way to go. Just tune in to the campaigns and debates happening across campus regarding the need to diversify our curriculum, our staff network and our student cohort—something that can only really occur if there is a genuine commitment towards equalising opportunities. Additionally, it’s important not to conflate the idea of being ‘gay-friendly’ with actually being inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people.”

The news of the university’s ranking within Stonewall’s top 100 employers comes conveniently in time for the LGBT history month in February, with events across the UK dedicated to challenging homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. The 2016 National Festival of LGBT History Conference will take place between the 25th and 28th of February and will take place on the campuses of both the University of Manchester and Manchester Metropolitan University.

Letter from the Editor-in-chief

Fashion: Post-exam beauty hacks

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Theatre: Wit Review

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New year, new Mancunion. Exams have come to an end and we are back underway with both studies and publishing.

There are some exciting things planned on the horizon this semester—firstly, Wednesday sees our first-ever Mancunion Live take place in the Council Chambers of the Students’ Union, at which you can hear from student representatives from the Conservative Future, Labour Students, UKIP Students, Liberal Youth and the Young Greens. Editors Joe and Liam will be chairing the debate, and you can find out how to apply to join our audience on page 9.

Not long after we will be hosting a landmark Women In Media Conference, taking place on the 4th – 6th of March at the International Anthony Burgess Foundation on Cambridge Street. We have invited some great special guests to give talks, workshops and join panel debates on how the media industry is for women today. It hopes to celebrate those that have done well in media and inspire young journalists at the same time.

I would also like to congratulate Joe Evans and Elise Gallagher, who have moved into two exciting Current Affairs Editor: Joe Evans Magazine Editor: Elise Gallagher

Visit Our Website www.mancunion.com

Lifestyle: Tough choices: Coming to decisions

The Mancunion Mancunion Extra @TheMancunion Editor-in-chief: Charlie Spargo editor@mancunion.com Deputy Editor-in-chief: Marcus Johns deputyed@mancunion.com Postal address: University of Manchester Students’ Union, Oxford Road, Manchester, M13 9PR Phone: 0161 275 2989 Subeditors: Gemma Sowerby, Shaun Carter, Nadia Cheung, Lauren Nolan, Karenza Cutting, Jack Howell, Emily Piper

Head News Editor: Jenny Sterne News Editor: William Brown Deputy News Editor (Science & Technology): Andy van den Bent-Kelly news@mancunion.com Features Editor: Liam Kelly features@mancunion.com Opinion Editor: Isaac Atwal opinion@mancunion.com Head Fashion Editor: Kassi Allcock Deputy Fashion Editor: Kathryn Murray Deputy Fashion Editor (Beauty): Millie Kershaw fashion@mancunion.com Head Food & Drink Editor: Ellie Gibbs Deputy Food & Drink Editor: Helena Maxwell-Jackson foodanddrink@mancunion.com Head Film Editor: James Moules Deputy Film Editor: Nicole Tamer film@mancunion.com

new positions at the paper. Joe was selected for the role of Current Affairs Editor while Elise is now Magazine Editor—they will help Jenny, Head News Editor, Marcus and me with the running of The Mancunion and I hope that their input will lead to some more exciting developments into the future.

In the paper this week we have some brilliant content for you all—some better news for us in the coverage of Freedom of Information which has come under threat from the government’s education Green Paper and news that Manchester has been named City of Science. Furthermore, there are some incredible contributions to our Opinion section including a touching piece by Colm Lock on people with Down’s syndrome. We say goodbye to Bowie in Music, and react to the Oscar nominations in Film.

I hope you enjoy this issue.

Charlie Spargo, Editor-in-chief

Head Lifestyle Editor: Eva Katz Deputy Lifestyle Editor: Alice Williams mancunion.life@gmail.com Head Music Editor: Henry Scanlan Deputy Music Editors: Matthew Staite, Rob Paterson music@mancunion.com Head Sport Editor: Will Kelly Deputy Sport Editor: Harry Newton sport@mancunion.com Books Editor: Yasmin Mannan books@mancunion.com Games Editor: Josh Goldie games@mancunion.com Theatre Editor: Elise Gallagher theatre@mancunion.com Arts Editor: Ashley McGovern arts@mancunion.com Head of Photography: Hannah Brierley Photographers: Ege Okyar, Przemek Piwek, Thomas Chan, Avinash Kumar, Daniel Saville, Kayleigh Brook mancunion.photography@gmail.com

The Mancunion is the official student newspaper of the University of Manchester., established in 1969 with a readership of around 20,000. It is printed weekly for 20 editions and is distributed across campus and the city.

All writers are volunteers and new contributors are always welcome. You can get involved by turning up to a meeting, the times of which are listed on the Mancunion website’s Join page.

We gladly accept contributors from outside the University of Manchester.

The Mancunion is part of the Manchester Media Group, along with Fuse FM and Fuse TV. This body encompasses all of the Union’s official media outlets, and organises training, outside speakers, and social events for Manchester students interested in student media.

If you have any comments, questions, or complaints, or would like to contribute, please e-mail the Editor-in-chief or Deputy Editor-in-chief.

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UCL student strike action for rent cuts Strikers are withholding more than a quarter of a million pounds in accommodation fees to pressure the university into cutting rents by 40 per cent Merle Streck Senior Reporter Students at UCL are threatening to withhold rent payments that could total £250,000 to protest sky-high university accommodation costs.

As part of the UCL Cut the Rent Campaign more than 150 students living in university accommodation are withholding their payments until they achieve their goal of a 40 per cent rent cut.

Since 2009, according to the campaigners, rent costs at the university have risen by about 56 per cent, with Ramsey Hall’s 473 rooms ranging between £158.97 and £262.43 a week.

In an interview with The Mancunion, Pearl Ahrens, an 18-year old first year student in Politics and Eastern European Studies and one of the UCL Cut the Rent campaigners, said: “We think that the rent is too high and that students can’t afford to stay in them and to have a fulfilling university experience at this cost.”

According to Ahrens, if you are a student within the high income bracket you will receive a student loan worth £5,205. The most you will receive as a student in the lowest income bracket is £6,313. Commenting on these figures, Ahrens asserted: “The current yearly rent at Max Rayne, which is a hall that is striking, is £5,433 which falls in between those. With a cut of 40 per cent that would make it £3,260 so that everyone can afford to live in Max Rayne and even more expensive ones.”

London School of Economics is currently working on the Cost of Living Petition also aimed at developing an affordable rent strategy for university accommodation. Although UCL does not have contacts to any other London universities at the moment, Ahrens was not opposed to the idea of seeking co-operation with other student campaigns aimed at tackling London’s “extortionate” rent cost as this would ensure a “more co-ordinated campaign.”

The Cut the Rent Campaign first made headlines last autumn when 238 former residents of UCL student accommodation were compensated with £1,200 each as a result of a student strike which aimed to tackle hazardous living conditions. Students complained of rat-infested housing and their lack of sleep as a consequence of continued construction work outside their halls.

While this strike is seen as a success in the eyes of the campaigners, Ahrens indicated that this next wave of strikes serves to tackle the issue of

rent costs on a larger scale. She commented on the strikes last autumn, saying that “even though their conditions were bad, everyone’s rent is high.

No matter what the conditions are, even if they were perfect it still wouldn’t be worth the amount of money that we are paying. It’s extortionate. I’m paying £175 a week and my conditions are okay but if you can’t afford £175 then you can’t go to university. It’s pushing people out of access to education.”

Ahrens expresses her disappointment at the university’s inadequate response. Other than withholding more than a quarter of a million of pounds in rent payments, the campaign has also conducted several demonstrations in the autumn term, had a bloc in the education march, and handed in a petition with over 1,000 signatures. Despite these efforts, UCL has not yet conceded to their demands. “So the strike is our last resort,” said Ahrens, “and we are willing to do it again, and we hope that it will win because it won last time.”

She is confident that the strike will be a success and the same can be said for Angus O’Brien.

O’Brien, 20, is a second year student in Social and Political Studies and the UCL union halls accommodation representative as well as one of the founders of the Cut the Rent campaign. In his statement to The Mancunion on how confident he feels about the future of the strike, he said: “It is the only way to actually get UCL management to engage with us on this issue and we are expecting them to contact us properly.

“At the very least we’ll have a dialogue with them about how unaffordable it is and how it’s sort of crushing the future of our university that is cutting off people from accessing education here. I always say it’s like an unofficial entry requirement that you have to have a lot more money to actually come.”

In Tuesday’s campaign meeting at UCL’s Students’ Union, current negotiations and future plans for collective action were discussed. Major developments were outlined by David Dahlborn, a 22-year-old Politics and Jewish Studies student and one of the founders of the campaign.

Just several hours before the meeting UCL management had contacted the campaigners asking for a meeting with them. Dahlborn suspected that the campaign had “embarrassed [UCL management] to the point where they cannot defend their position.” Furthermore, he announced that more of UCL’s student halls such as Ramsay and Schafer are potentially interested in pledging to

Photo: The Mancunion

join the strike.

When asked how many strikers have currently joined the campaign in withdrawing their rent payments, O’Brien claimed that “we don’t know the exact figures at the moment, we know it’s over 150. It all got quite confusing because another hall spontaneously did it without us really interfering so we don’t know the numbers from them yet, it could be around 30 – 40.”

In light of this growing campaign throughout UCL’s student campus, Ahrens expressed no doubt that collective action will continue until demands are met by the university. “We’re striking the second term and depending on how it goes possibly a strike in the third term as well.”

Furthermore, during the meeting it was an-

nounced that the UCL Cut the Rent Campaign will be taking part in the large demo on Saturday the 30th of January against the government’s proposed Housing Bill.

In a concluding statement to The Mancunion, Ahrens emphasised that this campaign highlights the larger issue of housing in London and the difficulty for low income families to access higher education at these costs: “It’s a human catastrophe. Students shouldn’t have to worry about money. It is not fair to make profit off education when some people can’t even afford to be here. It’s a societal problem which is preventing many people from accessing education.”

Preview Earth Week 8th - 12th Feb William Brown News Editor This week, Earth Week will be hitting the University of Manchester for the third year running. Lectures, events and giveaways will be scheduled throughout the week, all centred on the theme of preservation of the planet—with the aim of challenging climate injustice.

The week will kick off on Monday 8th February at 6pm in Room 6 of the Students’ Union building with a general de-brief of the week. There will also be a popup vintage charity stall in the Students’ Union foyer all day.

Tuesday 9th February is called on ‘Capitalism is climate change’. There will be a panel discussion on the topic discussing ‘Why fracking spells disaster for society and for the environment’ at 6.30pm in Room 2 of the Students’ Union. Local fracking activists and members of the People & Planet network will be present.

Wednesday 10th February will be based around the topic of food waste and poverty. At 5pm there

will be a campaigning session on the social and environmental implications of the prevalence of food waste in the Council Chambers at 5pm and a pop-up charity vintage shop all day inside Owen’s Park Café.

On Thursday 11th February, there will be a free cyclists’ breakfast from 8am - 12pm in Biko’s Café.

Also, at 1pm at Manchester Museum, there will be eco-action climate games with the aims of raising awareness amongst the general population.

Friday 12th February will centre on discussions of the recent floods across much of England, and how cuts and climate change are increasingly endangering the UK. At 7pm in Manchester Club Academy, there will be a benefit rally and gig. According to the event’s Facebook page—proceeds will go to the local victims of climate change in Salford and Greater Manchester.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

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“No prospect” of FoI exemptions for universities

The commission to review the Freedom of Information Act were not convinced that in order to “level the playing field,” universities deserved an exemption from the Act Charlie Spargo Editor-in-chief

Former Justice Secretary Jack Straw, currently sitting on the commission reviewing Freedom of Information (FoI) legislation, has said that there is “no prospect” of universities being made exempt.

Straw has said in response to complaints by universities that the playing field needs to be levelled, that extending the legislation to those private institutions competing with mainstream universities could be a better method of ensuring fairness.

Many universities responded to consultation on the government’s Green Paper on education by saying that they supported the exemption of Higher Education institutions, due mainly to the costs of implementing that Act. Nicola Dandridge, of Universities UK, gave evidence to the commission, stating that universities are “subject to bureaucratic requirements that other players in that market are not,” and that the disclosure of salaries through FoI could discourage good candidates.

“I think our primary point is there should be a level playing field. There is not a desire to lack transparency.”

“What we are proposing is that there should be a review as to the application of the act… which takes

into account the circumstances of both the private providers and traditional providers.”

She claimed that the implementation of FoI would cost institutions an estimated £10 million a year.

Straw, on the other hand, put the cost at only £144.93 per request—in other words, “not backbreaking.”

The case for a “level playing field” universities want might be compelling, but there was nothing to convince the commission that exempting universities was necessary.

“I think there is no prospect of this happening.”

The other option would be to “look at whether the private institutions are standing in the shoes of public institutions and should be covered by the Act,” said Straw.

Student media has used the Freedom of Information Act to reveal certain less than honest activities of universities or their staff. Recently, Bristol’s Epigram paper won the Student Publication Association’s FoI award for revealing that the retiring ViceChancellor and his wife took a £20,000 two-week trip to Australia and Asia funded by the university.

The Mancunion covered news last year, uncovered by a request submitted by the Fossil Free Campaign, that the University of Manchester retained £40 million in investments in fossil fuel companies.

Photo: chathamhouse @Flickr

Students for Europe launches nationally and locally Marcus Johns Deputy Editor-in-chief With the EU referendum fast approaching, students across the country have set up the Students for Europe campaign within the wider European Movement organisation.

On Saturday 20th of February, the Students for Europe campaign will be launched at an event in London, where NUS President Megan Dunn and Young European Movement President Susi Navara will speak to activists whilst training will be provided by Britain Stronger in Europe, NUS, and Universities UK. Students for Europe is a cross-party organisation that aims to galvanise students into action, ahead of the referendum. Moreover Universities UK, which represents vice-chancellors across the UK, has decided to openly campaign for the UK to remain in the EU. The Manchester Students for Europe campaign has been formed under the national Students for Europe umbrella. The campaign will be campaigning

at universities across Greater Manchester, working with student campaign groups and student branches of political parties.

The local group is further planning events in collaboration with the University of Manchester and MMU’s Jean Monnet Centre of Excellence, an interdisciplinary forum in the School of Social Sciences for the promotion of research and teaching about Europe.

Clifford Fleming, Campaign Director at European Movement, told the Mancunion: ”The European referendum will be one of the biggest decisions for our generation. Students for Europe is a collective of activists across the country making the case that being inside the EU is better for our rights, our jobs, our freedom of movement, the environment, for international peace and our future.

“We’ll be mobilising student groups across the country in the lead up to the referendum and we want you to get involved. Students overwhelming favour being in the EU, and we need your help to share our voice.”

GRAB YOUR FIRST BURGER AND GAME CARD FROM SATURDAY 6TH FEBRUARY. ONLY IN THE UNION BAR.

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Inquest records suicide at Salford University over grades A student at the University of Salford hid her depression and jumped to her death in her halls of residence after obtaining a 2:2 in her second year Marcus Johns Deputy Editor-in-chief

Photo: salford_ian @Flickr

A student at the University of Salford in Greater Manchester died after being disappointed with her second year grades and grieving the death of her great aunt, an inquest has found.

Samantha MacDonald, 20, was studying Human Biology and Infectious Diseases at the University of Salford and lived in John Lester Court Halls of Residence. She was from Dukinfield near Ashton-under-Lyne in Tameside, Greater Manchester.

Samantha jumped from her bedroom window, 120 feet from the ground, after a night out with her friends in Manchester’s Gay Village, where they were turned away from AXM Club for being too drunk.

They returned to their flat, and went into their rooms at around 4am.

At 5:40am, Samantha was found outside where campus security unsuccessfully attempted to resuscitate her.

The medical examiner recorded that Samantha had 206 microgrammes of alcohol per 100 millilitres of blood—just over two and a half times above the legal limit for driving.

At the inquest into her death, police revealed they had found a diary in which she had listed her likes, her dislikes, and her dreams in life. She intended to pursue a Ph.D. and “make a difference” in the world by curing diabetes. After receiving a 2:2 in her second year exams, it appears that she had felt that she could no longer achieve her goals.

She had written notes to her family, which police found in Samantha’s bedroom and Police Coroner’s Officer Alison Park said that the handwriting may have been affected by the amount of alcohol she had consumed that night. Police also recorded that she had searched for ‘funeral songs’ on Google at 5:39am.

Shortly before she took her own life, Samantha’s great aunt died; it is said that Samantha was very close to her. Along with her disappointment in her grades, the inquest believes that Samantha had entered a bout of undiagnosed depression.

The inquest heard that she had not requested help for her mental health issues from her GP or the university’s counselling service.

The inquest recorded her death as a suicide, Coroner Jennifer Leeming added: “One way of looking at the consumption of alcohol is that it was a way of giving her the courage to perform the act she had in mind.

“I can imagine there is no greater pain than the loss of a child.”

Samantha’s father, Stephen MacDonald, spoke at the inquest, saying: “Sammy was very focused at university and really wanted to get a first.

She did extremely well during her first year and was just short of the mark she needed for a first. She did well in her coursework but seemed to struggle during exams.

“After second year, she got a 2:2 which really knocked her confidence.

“As far as we were aware she was very focused on completing her degree and working in science afterwards. We were so proud that she was making new friends and a life and a future for herself at university.

“I now think she did commit suicide. In one letter she says she had written the letter 100 times. I don’t know if she intended doing this at the start of the night but maybe the reason she got drunk is maybe to go through with it.

Universities to address medical degree bias Paul Scott Reporter It is no secret that university as a whole is under-represented by ‘underprivileged’ students, however medicine in particular has been highlighted as a degree that exemplifies this uneven trend. Financial constraints play a big factor, especially as an undergraduate medical course lasts at least five years.

Another significant issue that has been pointed out, is the application process and the level of preparation of that students have to do for the rigorous tests and interviews they face. Over 90 per cent of applications to medicine degree courses were rejected in 2014, and many of these unsuccessful attempts are seen to be down to the lack of support offered by some schools to the students applying.

The University of Manchester;s School of Medicine is one of the largest in the country, with over 6,000 undergraduates. On its website, the

university stipulates its requirements at A Level, “grades AAA (after successful interview)” and, at GCSE, “at least seven subjects at grade C or above; at least five must be at A or A*.”

Despite this high entry criteria for its five-year course, the University of Manchester is one out of a handful of universities that offer a foundation or “pre-clinic year” as part of the Access to Medicine programme.

According to the university’s website, this scheme “is specifically designed to prepare students from diverse educational backgrounds for entry to the five-year Medicine MBChB degree.”

Access to Medicine states that: “access courses provide a route for learners wishing to study medicine or dentistry who do not have formal qualifications in A-level Biology and Chemistry.”

“These routes can help to widen participation in medicine and dentistry by providing an entry route to those with different experiences and backgrounds to those who

are eligible for standard entry and graduate entry medical and dental programmes.”

In spite of such access programmes in place, according to a recent report, 65 per cent of trainee doctors have at least one parent with a degree qualification or higher and “a lack of support and guidance for applying to medical school is a major barrier for many students from less advantaged backgrounds.”

A third year Manchester medical student from Gloucestershire, whose parents are both artists, said the application process was “fairly lengthy and time-consuming.” She added that she can appreciate the difficulties people may have in applying with limited help and resources from their school.

Initiatives like the Access to Medicine programme are an acknowledgement that there is a great need for diversity amongst medical students, but there is certainly still a long way to go in making the course an opportunity for all.

“One of the letters said she had been hiding her depression from us.”

If you need confidential support or advice, you can contact Nightline, whose number can be found on the back of your student card or contact the University of Manchester’s counselling service on 0161 275 2864.

Preview: Vagina Monologues Jenny Sterne Head News Editor The Students’ Union Women’s Campaign are once again presenting a production of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, every night a 7.30pm from the 8th – 10th February. The production will take place in Academy 3, in the Students’ Union.

The Vagina Monologues is based on Eve Ensler’s ‘vagina interviews’ conducted with 200 women from across the world, gathering their tales and giving a voice to each of their individual experiences as women.

Each monologue aims to take on part of the feminine experience, covering subjects such as sex, love, rape, menstruation, female geni-

tal mutilation, masturbation, birth and the common names for the vagina. The running theme of the monologues is how the vagina can be a tool for female empowerment and how it embodies feminine individuality.

Jess Lishak, Women’s officer of the Students’ Union told The Mancunion that they decided to run another production this year due to the “huge success of last year’s production”.

Tickets are £5 each, with all proceeds going to help fund the student support worker set up at Manchester Rape Crisis to provide specialist counselling to women students who have experienced sexual violence.

Manchester Rape Crisis (MRC) is a confidential sup-

port service for women who have been raped or sexually abused.

Last year’s event sold out in hours, so they’ve added an extra night and increased capacity to ensure more people have the opportunity to see it this time around.

There will also be new monologues written by the cast members as well, so if you were able to see it last year, it is definitely still worth coming again.

Tickets can be bought at the Student Union reception and through their website.

For any enquiries or specific access needs, email: jess. lishak@manchester.ac.uk

This play comes with trigger warnings for discussions of rape and transphobia.

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UK universities partner with Egyptian institutions Last week, officials met to finalise a deal creating academic links between UK universities and their Egyptian counterparts currently operating under internationally-condemned authoritarian rule Paul Scott Senior Reporter Last week, the British Council finalised agreements with Egyptian officials to create academic links with universities under military control.

Delegates representing the Egyptian government and education ministry met with the British Council in London to confirm ten new partnerships between universities in Britain and Egypt.

According to the British government website, the agreement was designed to boost “collaborative work and research” and “marks a strong political commitment from both the UK and Egypt to sustaining a long-term strategic partnership in research, innovation and education.”

The agreement, signed on the 20th of January, does not include any Manchester universities but will link Cairo University with King’s College London, Sussex University and Aston University; Alexandria University with London South Bank University and the University of Dundee; New Giza University with University College London; and The Arab Academy for Science, Transport, and Maritime Transport with Brunel University, Staffordshire University, Aston University and Cardiff Metropolitan University.

The deal has been in the pipeline since 2014 when it was stated that 2016 would be the “EgyptUK year of research, innovation and education.”

Late last year, details of the partnerships were finalised and signed off during Egyptian President’s visit to London in November.

Since 2014, President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi has presided over a post-revolution Egyptian state whose 2011 uprising was one of many across the Arab world. Almost five years on from the protests against the regime of former President Hosni Mubarak, Egypt is ruled by el-Sisi’s military autocracy.

Many see the outcome for the country as a one of the worst of the Arab Spring, and activists claim that state repression is more severe than prior to the revolution. The country has grappled with significant security issues and political instability since 2011.

However, a close educational advisor to el-Sisi involved in the UK deal, hailed the President and his role in forging the new relationships between

Photo: Alisdare Hickson @ Flickr

British and Egyptian institutions, saying: “The President of Egypt is leading the country towards a modern learning society. It is a golden era for education and innovation in Egypt. The close co-operation between UK and Egypt is a prime example of national vision promoting excellence and international co-operation.”

While the official rhetoric of the Egyptian government acclaims to a “golden era,” according to activists the situation in the country is one of unparalleled state surveillance and control. This includes crackdowns and laws against political protest and activism—to which students have been integral.

Shortly after the imposition of military rule in 2014, protests at university campuses in Cairo

were shut down by force and in the last couple of years, scores of students—amongst other activists—have been detained by the government for ‘political dissent’.

The nature of el-Sisi’s regime in Egypt will undoubtedly raise question marks amongst activists as to why the British Council and British universities are keen to form partnerships with institutions under the jurisdiction of his dictatorship. Campaigners will argue that since the incumbent government has been in place, Egyptian students have gone backwards in achieving the freedoms many of them passionately demonstrated for in the spring of 2011.

The University of Manchester currently offers partnerships with universities across Europe, Asia, Oceania and North America, however none with any Middle Eastern or African institutions (with the exception of Israel). The newly created links between British and Egyptian universities aims to help grow Egypt’s higher education system and will provide a “provision of technical and vocational education to young people.”

However, critics of the deal will argue that no agreement should be made between British academic institutions given the political conditions endured by Egyptian citizens and students under el-Sisi’s authoritarian rule.

Manchester: European City of Science 2016 In recognition of Manchester’s wealth of scientific heritage and contribution to scientific innovation, the city is playing host to a dynamic and diverse programme of events throughout 2016.

Tori Blakeman Senior Reporter Manchester has been named as the European City of Science 2016 (ECOS16) in recognition of its significant contribution to science past and present.

Such scientific feats leading to the selection of Manchester as ECOS16 include Ernest Rutherford splitting the atom, the development of modern atomic theory by John Dalton, Alan Turing pioneering the concept of artificial intelligence, and the 2004 isolation of the revolutionary 2-dimensional material, Graphene. ECOS16, however, is not just about Manchester’s scientific past—it will also celebrate the city’s current pioneering research and scientific expectations of the coming century.

The title of European City of Science will offer Manches-

ter the unique opportunity to showcase its array of scientific history, ambition, and investment to a global audience. Such a title also aids the strategic vision of Manchester in becoming a commercial science city by 2020.

Running over the course of the year, ECOS16 will be comprised of a dynamic array of events across the city. Many cultural activities and educational events will be open to everyone, allowing people of all ages to engage with the greatest scientific ideas of our time.

At the heart of ECOS16 is the EuroScience Open Forum (ESOF), Europe’s largest interdisciplinary science conference, taking place in July at Manchester Central Convention Centre—coinciding with the 250th anniversary of John Dalton’s birth. Bringing together over 4,500 scientific thinkers, policymakers and innovators,

ESOF will deliver stimulating content and lively debate of scientific research and innovation.

Alongside ESOF will be the Science in the City festival, running from the 22th to 29th of July. Bringing Manchester alive with an inspiring array of public events, the festival will play focus on the impact that science has on the lives of everyone.

Also playing a big part in the ECOS16 celebrations is the University of Manchester. The university will host a number of events, exploring current research in industrial biotechnology, energy, cancer, advanced materials, and addressing solutions to global inequalities.

ECOS16 events are already well under way across the city.

To see what’s on and find out how you can get involved, visit www.manchestersciencecity.com.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Global 7

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

In the news this week...

The important and interesting stories from the wider world this week.

Stories by: Charlie Spargo, Merle Streck, Joe Evans, Liam Kelly, Nick Scheunemann, Isaac Atwal and Marcus Johns

Catwoman ‘born in wrong species’ Norway A 20 year old woman from Oslo who believes she is a cat says she was “born in the wrong species”. Nano first realised she was a cat when she was 16 and doctors told her that she had a ‘genetic defect’.

In a video for Norwegian website p3.no, Nano wears cat ears and a tail as she crawls about, talking to a reporter about what being a cat means for her day to day life. “Sometimes I hiss when meeting dogs on the street” she says, padding about on all fours, meowing and purring. She also loves to sleep in the sink and on the windowsill.

Google pay out for plucky ex-employee USA Google have revealed the amount that they paid out to a man who owned the domain www.google.com for the grand total of a minute.

In October, ex-Google employee Sanmay Ved was searching around for domains and noticed Google’s was available for $12. When he bought it the company took it back as soon as they noticed. “I had access to the webmaster controls for a minute.”

For uncovering the company’s mistake, Ved was rewarded $6006.13—which, if you look carefully enough, spells “Google” from numbers.

He announced he was going to donate this money to the Art of Living India Foundation charity, so Google doubled it to $12,012.26.

Snow penis rises again on Gothenburg lake

Sweden More than 3000 people joined a Facebook group to bring back the “snow penis” that was removed following orders from the city council. The cleaning works were more complicated than suspected as the penis was drawn on thin ice.

After the social media outcry, Emilian Sava, one of the staff behind the removal, issued a statement apologizing to the many people who miss the snow penis, saying “we are thinking about you and at this moment I am trying to figure out the best way to recreate a big and lovely snow penis in the memory of the old one.”

Days later, with the help of snow blowers, Sava and his colleagues created an even bigger snow penis on a large field. The people of Gothenburg were delighted to see the return of the snow penis, with comments on social media reading “Everything is forgiven, everything is forgotten, a magnificent piece.”

Homeless man introduces card reader to help donations

USA Abe Hagenston, a homeless man in Detroit has turned his homelessness into a business, for instance by using a card reader for people to make contributions to him with their credit cards. Through his website, people are able to donate money which goes toward alleviating the homelessness situation in Detroit.

Hagenston stated, “I’m trying to turn this situation into something that will not only help me but help others.” He has been living on the streets for more than 10 years and is referred to as “Honest Abe” as he works the corner of 8 Mile Road and Woodward Avenue.

Bowie lookalike Giraffe takes social media by storm Tanzania In light of David Bowie’s recent death it has become a common trend for people to name their pets or even, in the case of Howard Donald, their new-born children after the singer. Most recently, as part of the “Bowie Mania”, a giraffe in Tanzania has been found to carry a significant resemblance to the recently deceased music legend. Omo, the 15-month old female giraffe who lives in Tarangire National Park, suffers from the rare condition leucism, which makes her pigmentation appear whiter. Omo now has a large fan base, considering that her condition is so rare.

Due to her pale skin and red hair, she has been compared to David Bowie’s alter ego, Ziggy Stardust.

Opera prompts police response Netherlands Police in Amsterdam kicked down the door of an opera singer after reports of “screams of agony” turned out to be a rehearsal.

Posting on Facebook, the authorities explained that concerned neighbours had called to inform them about a suspected case of domestic violence.

The occupant was apparently alone in the apartment at the time, and came to the door before the police had been able to force their way in.

The singer was listening to music through headphones and singing along to opera.

The police went on to say that both the opera singer and the neighbours have been able to laugh about the incident.

Channing Tatum mourns deceased pet

USA Channing Tatum may be one of Hollywood’s biggest stars but this week he was in mourning after the death of his pet goat.

The Magic Mike shared a candid photograph of the pet with his daughter writing, ‘Girl and her goat. RIP Heather. You had a damn good long run sweets.’

The goat is survived by Tatum’s other pets, a rescue horse named Smoke and a dog named Lucy.

Who Trumped? Trump spokesperson makes gaffe USA In a recent interview on CNN, Donald Trump’s spokeswoman, Katrina Pierson, defended comments she made back in 2012 about the lack of “pure breed” presidential candidates in the election campaign as the fathers of both Romney and Obama were not born in the United States. When CNN’s Brian Stelter asked if she would care to retract her statement, Pierson defended herself by claiming that she, too, was a “half breed” saying that “I’m always getting called a halfbreed, and on Twitter, when you’re fighting with Twitter and even establishment, you go back at them in the same silliness they’re giving you.

So I myself am a half-breed.”

She claims that her past comments were just a way to play into the “silliness” of those campaigners who were trying to take Trump and herself down.

Stoic sloth rescued Ecuador A sloth had to be rescued by police in Quevedo, Ecuador, as it refused to let go of a motorway crash barrier.

Traffic was stopped whilst officers attended the scene and sought to extricate the mammal from its sanctuary.

On Facebook, the Ecuadorian Transit Commission wrote: “The sloth bear rescued by our unit was reviewed by a veterinarian, the same one that determined that it was in optimal conditions to be returning to their habitat.” More than 36,000 people have liked the Facebook post.

Dope-y dealers detained USA A pair of Idaho drug dealers who got high on their own stash inadvertently phoned 911 to turn themselves in.

Leland Ayala-Doliente, 22, and Holland Sward, 23, were driving to Montana and got paranoid that an undercover police car was following them, and, in an attempt to call off the imaginary pursuit, decided to turn themselves in.

According to the transcript of the phone call, Ayala-Doliente told the 911 operator: “We’re the two dumbasses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border…A bunch of your cops driving [are] around in a bunch of civilian cars not wanting to pick us up. I don’t know what’s the deal. I was just wondering if you could help us out and just end it.”

When the duo were apprehended, police officers found 20 pounds of marijuana and over $500 in cash.

Ayala-Doliente was sentenced to between 18 months and eight years in prison, whilst Sward has been placed on probation for five years.

30-a-day keeps the doctor away Nepal 112-year-old Baluti Lamichhane has revealed that the secret behind her longevity is smoking 30 cigarettes a day for the last 95 years.

Lamichhane, who lives in a remote Nepalese village, was born in 1903 and started smoking when she was 17.

She has outlived all but one of her children, and has remained largely independent well into the autumn of her life. A local Hindu temple provides her with donations.

She says there is nothing wrong with smoking, though recommends avoiding “commercially made” cigarettes—opting for tobacco wrapped in tendu leaf instead.

As well as chain-smoking, Lamichhane cites “being active and stress free” behind her living such a long life.

“You should always be happy, then you will live a long life.”

Yoghurt attacker still at large UK The small town of Sherborne, Dosert is in shock after an unprovoked drive-by yoghurt attack on a crochet teacher’s haberdashery left the women shaken and upset.

39 year old Alison Nurton, victim of the attack on Cheap Street, was covered with yoghurt at around 7pm last Wednesday; she was on the way to teach her crochet class. She was opening her crochet workshop Butterfly Bright when she was struck.

In a similar incident, the same convertible car was seen launching even more yoghurt at another unsuspecting member of the public; it has not been established whether or not the other victim was on their way to Nurton’s crochet class.

Half a mile down the road, outside the Crown Pub in the sleepy countryside town, more yoghurt was found suggesting that the attacker had not given up.

The flavour of the yoghurt is not known.

Plastic dowel inventor dies Germany Artur Fischer, inventor of the plastic dowel passed away in Waldachtal, southern Germany on Tuesday.

The 96-year-old inventor registered 1100 patents in his life and rose to prominence after publishing the famous “Firschertech” building sets.

The World War 2 veteran’s career started 1948 with the invention of a flashlight for cameras. Fischer’s company, which is now managed by his son Klaus, turns over a profit of €660 million annually and employs around 4000 people. His life’s work was recognized with nine awards, amongst them the prestigious inventors award by the European Patent Commission in 2014.

Secret ingredient found in Chinese food China 35 restaurants have been discovered illegally using opium as seasoning in their food, according to state officials.

The Chinese Food and Drugs Administration are prosecuting five restaurants, with a further 30 remaining under investigation.

Whilst it is not clear how the opium came to be in the food, it is suspected to form part of a wider pattern where Chinese chefs put drugs in food, causing addictions to form.

The authorities’ job is made more difficult by the fact that, when used in food, the powder is mixed with spices and oils, making it hard to detect.

Chinese state news agency Xinhau estimates that poppy powder can be bought for £42 per kilogram.

8

Feature

1) Aren’t humans meant to eat meat?

We are omnivores by evolution. When the ancestors of modern humans began consuming meat 2.6 million years ago, the size of their brains increased.

The evolving of the organ that differentiates humans from other organisms is closely associated with meat’s rich nourishment and the complicated act of hunting. Harvard biological anthropologist Richard Wrangham agrees that hunting and cooking food is what transformed ancient genes to current ones. Calorie-dense food made our brains grow and supplied the appropriate energy to spread our genes. Our ability to consume a wide variety of Earth’s bounty ensures that extinction is never a threat. Because hunting and cooking requires cooperation, eating meat socialised us and led to the origins of today’s societies. Humans’ omnivorous quality is one of our greatest survival advantages.

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stress-free experience that animals must have before dying. Though difficult to stomach, knowing where our food comes from is crucial to fully appreciating our meal.

That being said, there is an option that does not involve any animal giving up its life. New Harvest is a non-profit organization spearheading the field of cellular agriculture. They are in the process of developing milk, egg white, and meat products in vitro

their protein content. Resulting cells will be used just like a boneless, skinless, chicken breast; or if you prefer, sausage, hamburger, or chicken nuggets.

Cultured meat is analogous to how bread, cheese, yogurt, and wine are made: they all involve processing ingredients derived from natural sources. Muufri milk and Clara Foods egg whites are estimated to be on the market within the next few years.

Photo: Brian Bennett @Flickr

2) What is actually wrong with farming animals?

There is nothing wrong with farming animals as long as the animal does not suffer. I doubt that anyone would defend factory farming and agribusiness’ horrific way of raising livestock. But the proliferation of sustainable farms that treat animals with respect from birth to death make eating meat an ethical possibility. A free range cow that turns nutritionally insignificant grass and sunlight into condensed calories is a far cleaner option than fossil fuel powered tractors harvesting soy for heavily processed, soy based, vegan friendly products.

3) But what about health? Is it true that vegans are nutritionally deficient?

Human nutrition is a complicated thing. This is how companies can make so much money selling dubious health products to the public. A diet that will give one person continuous energy will give someone else a headache. What should be eaten for optimal living will vary from person to person.

The one recommendation all physicians give is to have a balanced diet. Even pro-vegan Dr. Joel Fuhrman believes that running on a 100% vegan diet can result in “suboptimal levels” of nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids DHA and EPA, iodine, and zinc.

The myth that red meat and animal fat cause cardiovascular diseases is based on the 1953 Keys study that actually shows no causation between the two and has led us defenceless against the true culprit: sugar.

Just like subsisting on meat alone is foolish, so is the belief that vegetables are unquestionably healthy. Like any living thing, plants have defense systems against predators. Plants naturally produce poisons without the aid of applied chemicals (pesticides). They are not sentient beings, but like animals, they are biologically inclined to stay alive and perpetuate their species. For this reason, raw cabbages like broccoli, cauliflower, and kale contain compounds that—if not counterbalanced with enough iodine—could lead to hypothyroidism, slowing hormone production. Eating spinach for the sake of attaining iron will only be possible after the vegetable is cooked. Spinach contains oxalic acid, and when eaten raw, will combine with the plant’s iron to form a molecule too big for human’s to digest. The acid is denatured when the vegetable is cooked—of which we can then eat in order to obtain iron.

Studies have not concluded whether the health difference between a whole foods based diet that includes a small amount of meat, or a vegan diet is significant enough to advocate one over the other.

4) Surely we can still eat meat if it can be done more humanely?

No food is completely free of death. While unintentional, the accidental killing of small animals in fields used for cultivated plants does occur. Oregon State agricultural scientist Steven L. Davis calculates that the number of small animals killed to grow crops is high enough to justify using more land to raise large ruminants rather than edible plants. If veganism is chosen on the basis of overall suffering, one has to consider that there would be less pain if large mammals were also eaten. Davis concludes: “Humans may be morally obligated to consume a diet from plant-based plus pasture-forage-ruminant systems.”

Whilst many of us are at least familiar with the word “halal”, its strict killing procedures should be mentioned. A small prayer is said as a reminder to give thanks before a sharp knife makes a deep incision into the trachea and jugular vein (front of the throat) for the quickest death possible. An animal must never watch the slaughtering of another animal and the sharpening of the knife must never be done within the animal’s sight. Halal meat does not exist in the same domain as a factory farm as the abhorrent conditions do not comply with the

stimuli. Since they filter out excess nitrogen, mollusk cultivation improves water quality and has a minimally negative (no) impact on their ecosystems. There exists a philosophical road for when any animal’s pain becomes our understanding of pain—it just does not involve oysters and mussels.

We bring these animals into existence. Without us they would have no life.

The suffering of animals is wrong, there is no debate about that. When animals die in the most ideal ways however, we have to consider that the farmers are helping them continue on their species, caring for their young, and giving them a life where they would not have to worry about predators. It involves more than just their death. There are a couple things we should reflect on before that final moment of killing. Do we agree that the moral choice of doing the greatest good for the greatest number of people is right in this situation? Are we willing to divide the world into what is worthy of being sparred the inevitable and what is not worthy? Each person needs to recognize that their meat came from an animal that had to be killed. Animals can willingly and knowingly walk into the slaughterhouse themselves, but it all comes down to those final moments. Death comes to all of us, it’s just a matter of how and when it comes.

6) How does veganism help the environment and humanity?

RE-bunking the myths of veganism In our last issue we heard a defence of the common criticisms of veganism. Here Jessica Chow-Lau rebutes the increasingly popular lifestyle choice

Photo: sheilaz413 @Flickr

(cell culture) rather than from an animal. Because cells are capable of multiplying in nutrient-rich environments, they can be taken from live farm animals without the act of killing. But not all mediums need to include animals. In biomedical research, most cell cultures have been made using animal blood. Taking it one step further, their researchers are now using sources like plants and microorganisms to grow cells. Isolated cells are immersed in nutrients, allowing them to multiply and increase

5) So what about plants which are living organisms too?

Plants are not sentient, and neither are sea mollusks (oysters and mussels). For some animals, what it means to feel pleasure and pain cannot be reduced to a yes or no answer. But sessile bivalves (organisms that are unable to move and simply open and close their shells) have such simple nervous systems that while pain might be registered, they are unable to differentiate good from bad

The idea that meat production is to blame for climate change is false. As the gold standard of global warming monitors, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has said in 2006 that emissions from all of farming (tractors, agrochemical production, tillage, etc.) was 10 percent to 12 percent of global emissions. As of 2014, the UN Environmental Program asserts that the number for all of agriculture is 11 percent—with cattle being a small percentage of that. World agricultural carbon dioxide emissions result from clear cutting of woods, or deforestation. Brazil—the country experiencing the most deforestation—has their tropical forests cut to make way for soybean fields. These are then shipped for food products and animal feed. But since cattle are mostly raised on grass, farmers and ranchers buy no soy and cannot be blamed for these emissions.

According to the Organic Consumers Association, soybeans from Brazil can be traced to tofu and soy milk sold in American supermarkets.

Zimbabwean ecologist and environmentalist Allan Savory’s Holistic Grazing theory suggests that ruminants (antelope, bison, cows) create healthy grasslands when they are kept in groups and are moved from place to place—by naturally digging up grass and leaving manure. According to Savory, this allows grasslands to thrive, preventing the erosion of topsoil. Their nutrient-rich manure promotes deeper root growth of grasses, absorbing and retaining water and carbon dioxide. Moving these herds would require cowboys, bringing jobs to the farm country.

As factory farming hurts the Earth, so does destructive agricultural practices that hurt the land.

Irresponsible practices can be replaced with perennial polyculture. This means that plants wouldn’t need to be replanted every year (preventing erosion), and multiple crops would be planted in the same area. Benefits of polyculture include (but is not limited to) a reduced susceptibility to disease, leading to the decreased use of pesticides, and increased biodiversity in said area. When vegans simply blame the meat industry for environmental problems, they are drawing attention away from more pressing issues within their own community.

Livestock provide critical food and cash for the global poor, many of whom live in places where plant crops cannot be grown. And in terms of helping humanity, migrant workers picking vegans’ fruits and vegetables under harsh circumstances render their claims for having a lower carbon footprint fallacious.

7) How much difference can the actions of one person really make?

Each of us can make some difference. Our generation was raised on that belief and it’s especially pertinent now that we can make our own choices.

If vegans (or anyone) are telling people to vote with pounds through consumption choices, people will think that’s all that’s required of them. The public will believe that just switching brands or watering their lawn less will help our environmental situation. Just being a vegan, while nice, is not enough to change public policy. Vegans are not entitled to the claim that their lifestyle helps the environment, the economy, animals, humanity, or (unless prescribed) their own health. The only thing vegans can affirm is that they perceive death differently from us.

Feature 9

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Why Engels? Why now?

Mark Montegriffo & Fergus Selsdon Games Feature Writers “That a class which lives under the conditions already sketched and is so ill­provided with the most necessary means of subsistence cannot be healthy, and can reach no advanced age, is self­-evident...

How is it possible, under such conditions, for the lower class to be healthy and long lived?” – Friedrich Engels, The Conditions of the Working Class in England.

In 1844, Engels presented his recently published Condition of the Working Class in England to Karl Marx. He had written the monograph from his apartment in what is now the Whitworth Park Student Halls of Residence. We wanted to know whether his statement would resonate with local students so we set out to summarise his work and to ask them.

A blue plaque fronts Leamington House, Whitworth Park. When they took up residence, Engels and Marx had just arrived from Brussels to visit the leaders of Britain’s Chartist movement. Having developed their philosophical position, Engels arrived at the conclusion that “the condition of the working­class is the real basis and point of departure of all social movements of the present because it is the highest and most unconcealed pinnacle of the social misery existing in our day.”

According to a recent study, Manchester is one of Britain’s most “working class” cities with a high factor of so­-called “emergent service workers” and “precarious proletariat”. If Engels’ underlying thesis is still at all relevant, it should resound more with our peers than with any other random sample of British people.

We put this point to our peers with an initially mixed reaction. Most responses to the theme of Marxism, or even socialism, were somewhat apathetic. A substantial number had not heard of Marx, ­let alone Engels. To some, the ideologies of “Marxism” or “socialism” seemed intimidating. We saw

plenty of tentative shrugs.

“The industrial revolution has simply carried this out to its logical end by making the workers machines pure and simple, taking from them the last trace of independent activity, and so forcing them to think and demand a position worthy of men.”

When pressed on the question of class more generally, however, people grew more vocal and, in parts, visibly angry. It is estimated that, nationally, one million people rely on food banks. Child poverty in Manchester is at a 120­-year high. Early last semester, Manchester hosted one of the year’s largest demonstrations. Over 60,000 people marched in protest against cuts to public services and the ‘austerity’ initiatives of the Conservative government.

It is commonly accepted that young people in England vote in low numbers. The political consequence of this is that government spending is directed away from youth initiatives; 350 youth centres have been closed since 2012 as a result of spending cuts. All the while the tax evasion and avoidance of large multi­national corporations have further focused the public eye on the subject of grave economic inequality.

Hence, the landslide election of Jeremy Corbyn to the leadership of the Labour Party on an anti­austerity platform. We witnessed, in micro­cosm, the national success of the latest radical Labour evolution on our local tour.

The positive embrace of Corbyn’s success was tangible around campus. The ‘Westminster bubble’ appeared synonymous with political injustice and inequality. The Corbyn brand was celebrated as a welcome alternative.

Political injustice was still felt to relate thematically to class identity. A marked separation of ‘elite’ and ‘non­elite’ was felt viscerally and appeared, until recently, to have no solution. Corbyn’s success was, to many, symbolic of a larger political fight—one for social justice—which they felt could now, feasibly, be won.

Why Engels? Why Now?

Photo: Theo Wright @Flickr Front page: UncleBuko@Flickr

The viciousness of the political non­-voting circle is unpleasant. Yet this has not stopped people advocating political positions in other ways. Though the political act of “non­voting” is, undoubtedly, counter­ productive, it is not so for want of trying. As a hub of political initiatives and ideas, Manchester overwhelmingly qualifies.

Flyers and posters for talks and marches are commonplace around the city. Students make up majorities at most events. Engels may well have been proud of the place he once called home, a century and a half down the line. Yet, one does not have to call himself a Marxist in order to recognise that the contradictions of capitalism that Marx and Engels once highlighted are once again emerging as issues of a public conscience. The observations, specifically of Engels, were markedly astute for their time and have not lost their relevance—his work, therefore, deserves revisiting.

Marx (with Engels’ assistance) took 17 years to

complete his magnum opus, Das Kapital. The underlying point of the work, however, was summarised in Engels’ original Working Class in England back in 1844 in which he observed that “people regard each other only as useful objects; each exploits the other, and the end of it all is that the stronger treads the weaker under foot; and that the powerful few... seize everything for themselves, while to the weak many, the poor, scarcely a bare existence remains.” This line seems entirely relevant in today’s political climate where rampant inequality has emerged as—in Obama’s words—the “defining issue of our time”.

Without the ­involvement of the 19th Century’s great capitalist sceptics, serious debate about a world in which the richest 1% owns as much wealth as all others has been stymied. Engels’ legacy, forgotten so often, lives on—if sub­ consciously—in Britain’s radical heartland. This is the time to bring it back.

Opinion

10

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Meetings Mondays, 5pm, First Floor of the Students’ Union

The false promise of higher education Luke Williams The recent move by David Cameron to abolish maintenance grants for university students has led many to suggest that universities have made it more difficult for prospective students from poorer backgrounds to attend. The grants will be replaced by repayable loans, meaning graduates will be leaving uni with even more debt. The money will still be available for those who need it and the social stigma towards those who don’t attend university will continue to feed young school-leavers into the Higher Education realm. However, the prospect of an increasing amount of debt will not change this.

The current situation in the UK is the idea that everyone who finishes Sixth Form or college should go to university and those who don’t will be limited in their career. This needs to stop.

A lot of young people are sold down the river by the promise that university will be a guarantee of a well-paid job. This is simply not true and many students only realise this once the rosetinted glasses of adolescence have been crushed by graduate prospects. Many students lack interest in their degree and can’t wait for it to finish. 8.2 per cent of students drop out before finishing their course. This is likely as a result of the ill-prepared decision to jump onto the university bandwagon.

For one, attending university in England is more expensive than anywhere else in the world. This is because all degrees are met with the same tuition fee. Higher quality degrees at world-class institutions are just as expensive as all other degrees. In America, the tuition fees are weighted based on the institution and quality of the qualification. The increase of tuition fees across the board in England in 2012 led to questions of whether a lot of degrees are actually worth it.

This is an excerpt from Luke’s article the rest of which can be found online at www.mancunion.com

I’m from Canada, a country that makes major political decisions based solely on the number on the front of the calendar.

Life as a Canadian is so insufferably dull, boring, and inconsequential that we have become very funny people; comedians from Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Russell Peters to Seth Rogen all call Canada their home. This led me to make an observation, that boredom and despair are the seeds that bear the fruit of humour. Canada is an example of the former, and one only needs to look at the large number of Black and Jewish comedians to see the relationship with the latter.

Despair is the cannon fodder of laughter, tragedy a vital ingredient. As Voltaire said “God is a comedian playing to an audience too scared to laugh”.

With that let’s turn to Donald Trump, one of God’s great practical jokes. Trump should not be taken seriously, and the fact that every word that comes out his mouth becomes a meme helps to prove this point. The Trump does not propose policies, the Trump does not discuss important issues, the Trump does, however, make asinine, outrageous, and laughable comments. One wonders whether he is in on the joke, but it doesn’t really matter. I was told to believe that a Wharton School educated, multibillionaire entrepreneur has the intelligence to realise his own humour, but he’s funny either way.

The fact that I know so many people that realize he is a walking pineapple made me question the recent petition to ban him from the UK, and the debate that followed. Let us put aside the obvious hypocrisy of trying to ban a man for his opinion regarding banning people for their opinions, and simply analyse the implication. Are people actually taking Trump seriously? And if so, what in the world is motivating this?

A lot of commotion is built on the offensiveness of Trumps remarks to Muslims, Mexicans and women, but it does no good to get worked up about them. First let’s look at his comments on Muslims, that the United States ought to ban all Muslims from

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Photo: DonkeyHotey @ Flickr

Are you serious?

Ryan Khurana Contributor

entry. What a stupid idea, not stupid because of the offensiveness, racism, or unconstitutionality of the remark— but the type of Three Stooges stupid.

It is an absurd, impractical, useless, unimplementable idea that is not even worthy of any serious debate.

So why has the American political debate, and the global debate turned closer to Trump’s statement than it was before? It’s because it was taken seriously.

Trump does not believe what he said, nobody in their right minds thinks that he does, but for some reason that comment is taken seriously as opposed to being laughed at. We can either laugh with Trump at the fact that he said something stupid, or at him for thinking that we would take it seriously.

His comments on Mexicans follow a similar outline—offensive and inaccurate.

To say that his statements are damaging however, is to assume that the large Mexican population of the states cannot laugh at their own expense. To somehow imply that Donald Trump could rob their

self-respect seems quite implausible.

His plan to build a wall that Mexico will pay for highlights his obliviousness, and also the fact that he thinks geopolitics is like the hotel business. It is not going to happen, so we might as well laugh at the fact the Trump thinks it will.

Finally, there is Trump’s 1940’s era misogyny that probably only connects with 90-year-old Southerners—who, for some reason are politically active.

A lot has been made over his feud with Megan Kelly. But Kelly, an intelligent journalist, did not have time to let his remarks get in the way of her work. The rest of the world should have done the same. We should either laugh at the fact that the Trump has not witnessed the last 60 years of progress for women, or how he had thought that the world hadn’t either—but we should not give him attention for it. Heidi Klum responded to Trump’s insult about her looks with a funny video, and Fiorina with a witty retort. They know better than to take the insults of a man who looks like an Oompa Loompa with a gerbil on his

head. The public at large should take the same approach to everything he says.

By taking this approach, we maintain our dignity, and are able to laugh at his expense.

After seeing how ludicrous taking Trump seriously is, let’s look at the damage it has done. Valuable time and money has been wasted on debating his ban, but more importantly, Trump is in the spotlight. Do not for a second mistake Donald Trump for an idiot, he is in fact a sly and intelligent political operator, as his polling should show.

If there is anything Donald Trump knows, it’s Donald Trump, and when the topic becomes Donald Trump, he shines. So by taking him seriously, he has been able to set the agenda; outrage has allowed him to be the centre of the public eye. He uses this to attack his fellow Republican nominees and make himself seem more viable as a candidate in the process. This is dangerous, and seriousness makes it so.

Humour cuts through rhetoric, increasing both empathy and logic. This is the reason why The Daily Show was able to make sense of American politics, and why after Jon Stewart’s departure that sense vanished. To lack humour makes one tense and rigid, making one closedminded and off putting. Donald Trump’s opponents who take him seriously suffer from this condition, and have alienated a good chunk of the population.

As the old adage goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, and Donald Trump’s support is based on shaky grounds. He is nothing more than an angry tangerine who hates on the left wing establishment and air of political correctness that many Americans detest, and in doing so he makes the populous his friends (Bernie Sanders does the same thing with a different target). Depriving him of the spotlight will let people look away and start thinking about issues rather than people.

For now, however, this is not politics, it’s “Keeping up with the Trumps”, a reality television show with a large audience and an illogical appeal. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

How bad does it get before we care?

Tristan Parsons on how the environment is a pressing issue, but few people care enough to do anything.

What a tedious subject to write on. I still don’t believe this was a conscious decision. Environmentalism is that thing that sits at the back of one’s mind, soaking up events and fact and news, but never really sitting up and coming to attention. Recently, we heard that 2015 was the warmest year on record (with El Niño finally overcoming the cooling effects of recent volcanic activity). But, in our temperate biome—unless, of course you live in this winter’s flooded areas— environmental issues don’t affect our lives too much. Earlier in the year, the world’s leaders met in Paris and they basically solved climate change. Either that or their collective and individual plans put the earth on course to peak at three or four degrees of warming. Before that, wild fire in Indonesia created a mess that will cost as much to clean up as the 2004 tsunami. I nearly wrote a piece about it, but I couldn’t think of anything interesting to say.

I hope I’m not boring you already. See, that is quite a common reaction. If ‘the biggie’ climate change isn’t met with rolling eyes, the other three planetary boundaries that put humanity’s current level of existence at risk will soon send you to sleep. Nitrogen and phosphorous levels are in the danger zone, threatening crop production and ecosystem sustainability across the world. Biodiversity is also at high risk, and worse, some scientists are predicting a ‘cliff’ is to come. Even land use is at a more dangerous level than (current) global warming. There are still the issues of freshwater use and ocean acidification.

Even if we were to save ourselves, there is a building consensus that human activity has created a new epoch in earth history, the ‘Anthropocene’.

It can be draining discussing these issues. Most opinion writers or journalists have roots in the social sciences, arts, or humanities. But this is science: there is no real arguing for these people to do.

Anyone that actively stands in front of an overwhelming scientific consensus is a conspiracy theorist (see, Donald Trump) or has vested interests. This lack of debate is partly why environmental issues turn people off.

The more interesting bits are the economics and politics behind the issues, and that is what I think we should start to talk about more: the corporations behind palm oil and deforestation, the madness of the US cities that sit in the deserts, or the vested interests I have touched on.

Of course, looking at the bigger picture, a significant section of the media has an interest in strangling debate about environmentalism. Maintaining an oiland gas-based economy is essential to the fortunes of so many companies and individuals, even countries. This feeds into public discourse.

One thing I realised last year was that, if I was to be true to my cause, I should be vegetarian or vegan, because of the devastating impact the meat industry has on the environment. Amazingly, the beef industry has a bigger footprint than cars. The levels of water and land used dwarf the other meats as well. Sadly, and frustratingly, it’s too ingrained into

my diet. However, it’s something I am becoming far more aware of. That’s a bit of a ‘hippy-dippy’, thing to say, surely?

There’s another problem: we need to start consuming less stuff, or different types of stuff. And to a large proportion of the developed world, that is a frightening and frustrating proposal. Yes, the ‘tree hugger’ connotation still haunts us.

“Environmentalism is that thing that sits at the back of one’s mind, soaking up events and fact and news, but never really sitting up and coming to attention.”

But what does the public see? Whilst a lot of environmental stories don’t hit the news, it is still difficult to correlate arguments about environmental change to the events that take place in the relatively small time-span of a year. This year, water stress and drought strangled California, northern Iran, and central Asia, amongst many areas. But people still refer to the hiatus in warming since the turn of the century as evidence against global warming (no, the long term warming

since the industrial revolution is still far out of place compared to observable patterns). And, scale is crucial to bear in mind: the impacts of climate change will not occur all over the world, rather, in specific regions.

And this was the year that was a good one for environmentalism, right? Well, although goodwill drooled out of world leaders’ mouths, palm oil companies were heavily criticised for not making enough progress on deforestation, Saudi Arabia flooded the oil market, assuring oil companies of their futures, and, closer to home, the Conservatives slashed subsidies for renewables and pushed on with the methane-leaking process, fracking.

Thank my lucky stars that that jargonlittered saga is over. Now I can relax my grey matter and fixate on the short term.

I can go back to writing on sexy politics.

I can do this guilt free, because on planet earth, everything seems okay; everything is calm. Keep the people quiet and they’ll continue to drive to work, fly around the world, and buy vegetables that come from deserts. And when the storms and the seas and the deserts come, there will be those who can afford the luxury of escape and protection. But the masses, once afraid of change, are left isolated on a raft in the ocean, as the state slowly, quietly, but surely, recedes.

Opinion11

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We’re all losers in the terrorist name

IS, ISIS, ISIL, Daesh… it is not surprising that confusion surrounds the identification of the militant group. All part of the diplomatic dance that is the politics of naming, it was not that long ago that politicians and the media sought to completely deny the group the status they desired by using the phrase ‘so-called Islamic State’. Since then, a wish to lessen their significance has led to the use of ‘ISIS’ (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) or ‘ISIL’ (Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant), with David Cameron requesting the BBC to stop using Islamic State, or IS, since the group is neither Islamic nor a state. The Arabic version ‘Daesh’ is also increasingly being used in Western media as a name disliked by the group both for its rougher sound and similarity to the word meaning ‘to trample down or crush’, which has sparked a number of puns by groups such as the Free Syrian Army.

Though language can be the most powerful of tools when used correctly, and the power of persuasion is certainly ISIS’s most dangerous weapon, is such a war of words really a display of power over IS, or rather of weakness as lost battles turn linguistic?

There is much to be learnt from a similar trend in the Israel-Palestine conflict that began with the Zionist movement’s declaration that Palestine was “a land without a people for a people without a land”. Now each side, through refusing to voice the other’s existence, seeks to deny an evolving truth. Mentioning the Palestinian Authority at Israeli airport security will guarantee a few hours of interrogation is added to your arrival despite the PA’s actualisation through the Oslo Accords. The West Bank is typically referred to with the Hebrew name of Judea and Samaria, and Palestinians are For once, the content in an article of mine is not political, but instead an appeal to humanity. The world is heading towards an increasingly perfectionist trend with the possibility of designer babies not far away. The chance to choose your child’s hair colour, eye colour or even gender might—to those control freaks amongst future parents—be a welcome change to all this confusing biology. You might well find this concept of designer babies abhorrent, and so you should; but the good news for now is that it is just a concept. However, there is already something along these lines happening in the UK today that is just as horrible. I speak of the systematic termination of pregnancies where the foetus is found to have Down’s syndrome.

“If there were no people with Down’s Syndrome in the world, I would not have a sister. ”

Photo: European Commission @ Flickr

Joely Thomas Opinion Writer eradicated in Israeli tourism adverts. Meanwhile, many Palestinians try to avoid direct reference to Israel, instead using terms like ‘48 (the year of Israel’s founding) and al-dakhil (‘the inside’), in the belief that acknowledging the state’s existence is to accept the 1967 boundaries.

Yet stubbornly ignoring the reality presents an obstacle to conducive change, for refusing to acknowledge the presence of the other will only result in a situation of stalemate. If you close your

eyes as your house is torn apart, you might be able to convince yourself that it still stands, but only will you be able to start rebuilding it once you open your eyes and accept that the damage has been done. There is thus something tragic in the sense of despair created when the reality is so offensive that you can only continue the struggle with one eye closed and your only remaining power is that wielded over the words that cross your lips.

This is true, too, of Israel, and is something Pal-

As humans, should we play God? Colm Lock Opinion Writer Photo: HimileanMedia @ Wikimedia Commons

It was recently reported in The Telegraph, and other publications in the US, that the future of people with Down’s syndrome in our society is under threat. The figures are most disturbing and if true, paint a rather grim picture; where some 90 per cent of pregnancies where the foetus is shown to have Down’s Syndrome are aborted. Now, I am not some rabid pro-life activist of the sort you might find in America. Obviously it is the parents’ choice. But I find the fact that people would terminate a pregnancy purely because the child will have Down’s syndrome saddening. Why do people feel it is necessary? Do they think it is because a child with Down’s syndrome will enjoy a lower quality of life?

“Thanks to modern medicine people with Down’s Syndrome can now face a much longer and happier life than before.”

Maybe it’s because they believe some of the other big myths of Down’s syndrome like those with it will “die young” or “be forever a child”? Well, while peo-

ple with Down’s syndrome did in the past have a less than average life span, thanks to modern medicine they can now face a much longer and happier life than before.

But what about them being supposedly childlike? First of all, how many adults still enjoy watching SpongeBob SquarePants or Adventure Time?

I think you will find there are quite the multitude

who still do. So can we say that any of us really abandon our childhood?

Secondly, if you ever need further evidence to counter this myth, look no further than to the fine example set by Mr John Franklin Stephens—a 30-year-old man with Down’s syndrome. Back in 2012, during a presidential debate, a political commentator named Ann Coulter wrote a tweet using

estinians should find strength in, for their refusal to acknowledge the continuous presence of an increasing Palestinian population displays their anxiety that they are running out of options to deal with a threat they never imagined would prove so resilient. The attempts to redefine their oppressive regime, such as by reference to the separation wall as a ‘dividing fence’, even belie international law and shows they are living in an illusion.

Of course, the situation with IS is by no means contextually comparable, but the political name game that continues to be played exhibits a similar weakness. Politicians’ awkward changes to the group’s name as their regional power increases, not only makes for uncomfortable viewing but betrays the government’s fear of a group that eludes geographical control.

Attempts at linguistic delegitimisation also risk downplaying the strength of IS, and seeking out a name that denies their Islamic identity is counterproductive. Islamophobes certainly need to recognise that the form of Islam preached by IS is a radical one, unaccepted by the majority of Muslims, but whilst we might disagree with their concept of Islam, it is nevertheless a concept integral to their being, and that is something that cannot be addressed simply by renaming the group.

Though it might be true that IS detest the name Daesh, so much that they have beheaded those who use it, such games are therefore still ultimately reminiscent of playground name-calling.

This is not to suggest that sticks and stones, or now cluster bombs and drones, are more effective than words, but that such futile attempts at control will also not help to address the causes of such a complex phenomenon.

the word “retard” in a most derogatory context.

What followed was a nothing short of brilliance as Mr Stephens—a Global Messenger for the Special Olympics—penned an open letter to her explaining why she was wrong, and in doing so, he proved that he is head and shoulders above her, and many others, in terms of the sensitivity shown towards the disabled.

“90 per cent of pregnancies where the foetus is shown to have Down’s Syndrome are aborted.”

Another shining light in the Down’s syndrome community is Madeline Stuart, the first ever model with Down’s syndrome. She is not only a role model for young disabled people all over the world, but she is also just one of many reasons why those who dismiss people with Down’s syndrome are wrong.

There have already been actors with Down’s syndrome in film and TV, and while they might not be able to complete a doctorate in astrophysics, they can sure as hell be valued as active members of society.

Then of course there is the pettiest and downright insulting myth that they will be “embarrassing” as children. Well I challenge you to find a child who isn’t sometimes a little embarrassing. One of the best parts about childhood is that you are not yet bound by social conventions so you can behave as freely or as embarrassingly as you choose.

People with Down’s syndrome are, in my experience, some of the happiest, friendliest and affectionate people I have ever met; and a lot less judgemental than most. They can have jobs, contribute to the economy, to culture and make the lives of those around them happier and fuller.

Where would it end? Do we then start to then abort all foetuses that have dwarfism? If there were no people with Down’s syndrome in the world, I would not have a sister. I would be one of two children, not one of three. It is a reality that I would not want to face and a reality that people should not seek just because they believe the false myths regarding those with Down’s syndrome. We have no right to deny these people a chance at life and if you think you do, then it would set us on a dangerous path towards a supposed perfectionist view of humanity. I say humanity’s imperfections are what makes it perfect and it would be detrimental to us all if they were to disappear.

Music

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Live

Live

The Libertines

From ‘My War’ to Our War: The evolution of Henry Rollins

23rd January @ Manchester Arena Liam Killeen Contributor

9/10

The Libertines’ comeback is something that many not only didn’t think would ever happen but, and if it did,most imagined it would never live up to the riotous days of their debut Up the Bracket 14 years ago. We were wrong. Last year, the band signed a deal with Virgin EMI Records for their recently released album Anthems for Doomed Youth which can only be described as a more mature chaotic sound.

Since the release of the album, it isn’t just those enamoured with the old Libertines that helped sell out the first date of their arena tour. They also managed to draw in a younger demographic. Even from seat 20 all the way back in Row Z of the Manchester Arena it was easy to see fans of all ages mumbling along with their hits as well as their newer material.

As with every Libertines gig there was a certain degree of uncertainty as to whether the band would even show following their recent cancelled gigs in Manchester and London, but soon enough the four piece strolled on stage. Although Pete didn’t look especially sanguine, as can be expected due to his recent rehabilitation, he was wearing his usual trilby along with fel-

low frontman Carl, and the stage was set with a Union Jack strewn across an old upright piano.

The set seamlessly went between tracks from all three albums, emphasising how they have still retained their distinctive style in their new album, with clattering guitar and drums.

Opening with ‘Barbarians’ and quickly following with a classic, ‘The Delaney’, set the formula for the set with songs switching between Pete and Carl for vocals. By the time ‘Fame and Fortune’ was played, behind the drums, Gary had already peeled off his t-shirt and a waitress had come out in a Royal Guard jacket to give them all drinks.

It truly felt like a comeback worth the 11 year wait just to see Carl and Pete sharing the microphone like they used to, but with the added pleasure of Pete not appearing to be on the cusp of drug-induced death as he used to in their impromptu venue, The Albion Rooms. Finishing their set on ‘Don’t Look Back into the Sun,’ it was easy to see that nobody was disappointed with their return. All linking beneath the Union Jack before Pete and Carl had a play fight, it was easy to see this wasn’t just a comeback for a big cheque. It was for the Albion.

Illustration by Ethel Wilks

Album Savages: Adore Life

Released 22nd january via Matador Records

Madeleine Jones Contributor

5/10

It’s been three years since Savages’ debut album Silence Yourself was unleashed to the world. It was packed with 11 potent songs that challenged the listener both sonically and lyrically. It came with a lengthy manifesto and the phrase “don’t let the fuckers get you down” printed on it. It was a bold statement and a total shot in the arm for alternative music. The much-anticipated sophomore album Adore Life lacks that same punch and cohesiveness.

Opener ‘The Answer’ sounds especially un-Savages-esque. Gemma Thompson’s usually top-notch guitar suddenly sounds predictable, leaving it rotting like just another stale and generic alt-rock song.

Fortunately, things improve with dancey second track ‘Evil’ which has far more substance lyrically, questioning notions of conformity (“[They’ll] soak your actions in self-doubt/If you don’t live the way they like”). ‘Adore’ is definitely one of the more chal-

Tracks of the

Week Patrick Grealey Contributor

The former ringleader of Black Flag and Rollins Band is something of a reformed punk these days, cleansed of all cynicism and fighting for a better world. He unleashed his boundless optimism in a 3-hour talk at Bridgewater Hall Henry Scanlan Music Editor There’s an old video on YouTube entitled ‘Henry Rollins Rips Kid During Black Flag Interview’ in which, well...yeah.

Rollins, all pulsating veins and mad dog stare, is confronted by a plucky kid of about 13 making some baby steps in a career in journalism, and rips the poor little blighter to shreds.* There stood Henry Rollins, an unpinned grenade, touring Black Flag’s My War and in the process waging a war of elitism on any faker, scammer, or “headless chicken” trying to dilute his precious scene. 30 odd years later, he’s making love, not war. The middle-aged man who stood before us on stage for his stand-up set at the Bridgewater Hall is a different beast to the one in the video. Where before there was nihilism, now there is altruism.

He’s done a whole lotta livin’ to get to where he is today.

You know those mornings when you wake up, it’s sunny outside, you have a couple of coffees, you get a buzz on, and the world feels full of opportunity? Henry Rollins’ whole life is like that. Like the world on those sunny caffeinated mornings, Henry Rollins’ life is full of opportunities - and he takes almost every single one that presents itself. That explains why we saw the former infernal ring leader of Black Flag taking crappy roles as a hapless hockey coach in Jack Frost and a boneheaded bodyguard in Heat. It also explains why he keeps appearing on the National Geographic Channel, or in campaigns for causes ranging from LGBT rights to climate change action, or in any of the other 99 projects he’s involved in at any given time.

To be honest, it’s a stretch to include him in the music section of a newspaper, or any single section for that matter. Really he’s just a hyperactive philanthropic dude who can’t get enough of life, and so lives it to the limits. “I do everything at $3.57 an hour with an apron on trying not to get fired”, he confessed of his workaholic mindset at one point during the set. He’s primal, he’s economic, and he’s a goddamn machine. He’s like a punk monk, unconcerned with worldly luxuries. “All I need is punk rock in my ears, caffeine in my bloodstream, and a note pad in my hand.”

He’s a restless traveller, a jack of all trades, an erratic optimist. “I’ll plant the grass but I won’t sit around and watch it grow.” When you’re watching him, you’re thinking, “there is no way this guy isn’t cocaine”, but deep down you know that he definitely isn’t.

So let alone being half full, Rollins’ cup constantly run-

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

neth over, and as a result, his talk lasted for 3 full hours without a single pause for breath. A good deal of fat could’ve been trimmed from the mid-section (unlike from, say, everything Black Flag released up until 1984) when Rollins started talking about forest animals and environmental concerns and suddenly it dawned on me that he could literally talk to us about everything he knew and cared about until he expired right where he stood.

That said, I can think of far less stimulating ways to spend eternity than in the company of this infinitely quotable man. The environmental lull was only a trough before a giant peak, as Rollins concluded the 3 hour treatise with a devastating freight train of thought that had me planning to vote for him in the US elections, even though I don’t have a vote and he isn’t a candidate. I can’t recall exactly what he said, but I do remember it being wonderfully, hopelessly revolutionary, and I do remember his closing gambit, which was to tackle religious extremism with music. “There is an angry, ritualistic, extremist tribe waiting for every disaffected, disenfranchised youth, but the God is music. It’s called punk. Or metal. You just need the right record. Put down the rifle, and pick up a record.”

Admittedly, Shaggy came up with the idea of using music to tackle ISIS first, but I say forget the music - let’s send in Henry Rollins. *If you’re still out there, kid, you put up a good fight. I would’ve turned and ran.

The new LP from Savages may be adorned with a clenched fist on its cover, but Madeleine Jones thinks it lacks the punch of their debut album lenging songs. “Is it human to adore life?” Jehnny Beth asks. It’s normally easier for people to be cynical and bitter about everything in this world of nonstop bad news, making positivity almost seem like an unnatural trait. Its tense first half slowly builds up to a gorgeous culmination before it ends, abruptly.

The more eerie ‘Slowing Down The World’ and ‘I Need Something New’ sound more like the Savages we’ve all come to know. The former’s rumbling groove will leave you wanting more, whilst the latter hits explosively and erratically.

However, the last four songs make me pretty much lose faith altogether. By this point, I’ve lost patience.

I was waiting and waiting, expecting something grander and generally more interesting… mindbending even. But it never came. There’s just nothing exciting about this music. They’ve lost their element of danger and otherworldliness. It’s all just a bit too tame, too safe. Safe word I ever expected to be associated with Savages. They’re called Savages, for goodness sake. I’m all for bands developing and

changing, but as far as I’m concerned, this is a regression. There’s nothing even close to their debut’s frantic thrill of ‘City’s Full’, demandingly authoritative ‘Shut Up’ or goosebump-inducing ‘Husbands’.

Silence Yourself got your blood pumping, your mind racing, your limbs moving. But Adore Life lacks the dynamics and passion. For the most part, the lyrics are pretty disappointing—simplistic and even somewhat shallow. This is probably partly due to at least half the songs being about love and dependency. Jehnny Beth’s vocal delivery is also on the weak side.

Savages are becoming one of those bands blindly worshipped by music fans and the ‘alternative’ establishment alike. They’re often hailed for playing some part in “saving rock ‘n’ roll”: A ridiculous idea that needs to be killed off as soon as possible. With their first album, they put great emphasis on intention over anything else. I don’t doubt their good intentions are still there, but the execution doesn’t see it through.

Photo: Album Artwork

5/10

PJ Harvey: ‘The Wheel’ Released 22nd January via Island Records

Fat White Family: ‘Satisfied’ Released 22nd January via Without Consent

Savages: ‘Adore’ Released 22nd January viaMatador Records

This new single from P. J. Harvey’s impending album The Hope Six Demolition Project has an insistent energy not unlike that which flickered at the heart of 2000’s Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea, albeit an energy tinged with the serious melancholy of its subject. Hands clap, drums hum, saxophones groan and guitars grind under Harvey and her band’s ceremonial chant lamenting the fates of war-pinned children disenfranchised, disappeared, or worse, as restless and angry as a diaspora. England having shook, it seems Harvey’s war on war has escalated to a new ferocity. Ceasefire pending.

“I’m so easily satisfiiiieeed...” croon Fat White Family, with all the charm of Bing Crosby 12 large scotches deep, and so, it seems, am I. ‘Satisfied’ is little more than two slimy grooves which have been sewn into each other and left to soak in as much distortive filth as could be coaxed from the cistern, before being sent bouncing away astride a comically Casio drumbeat into druggy oblivion. It’s so T. Rex that I’m tempted to accuse FWF of exhuming Marc Bolan and reanimating him back into some Frankensteinian action, but T. Rex were never this filthy.

The underpinning question of ‘Adore’ is a disarmingly simple one: “Is it human to adore life?”. Well, I confess I’ve never really thought about it, but Savages have made up their minds, and mine too. Singer Jehnny Beth interrogates her own romantic culpability, tip-toeing between doubt and defiance as she catalogues the overspills of her lust; “If only I didn’t want the world / I wouldn’t make you feel so sad” she promises at the songs opening, only to end it unapologetically, as if to undercut her transgressions, with “D’you adore life? / I adore life”. Well, do you?

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RIP Starman

Fish out of Water: David Bowie

While a “fish out of water” implies a feeling of discomfort, Eno Inwang likens his experience to that of a fish in a whole new exciting ocean I’ve tried to think back to the first time I heard of David Bowie or first heard a song of his. And I try this with no success. It’s almost as if I’d always been aware of his existence through the words of praise from artists and bands who partially owe their sound or approach to him. Despite knowing this, I’ve never taken it upon myself to delve into the realms of Bowie. It would of course have made sense to, but had I decided to listen to his entire discography before his death, I’m certain my first experience of him would not have been as powerful as it was. I’ve never seen the sense in the post-death binge of a deceased artist’s work until now - the end of Bowie’s life had strangely acted as a catalyst for my interest.

Most of the little exposure to David Bowie I’d been given had come from a period of time where he’d reached global fame, so I really had no idea what to expect at the start of this multi-faceted man’s journey. The Bowie of 1967 on his self-titled debut appeared virtually unrecognisable to the identity I had imagined. In the backdrop of the late 60’s this would possibly have been a safe option for Bowie, however I was taken aback by the sheer bravery of his work from 1969-1975, a period where I felt he pushed his boundaries and altered his music as

well as himself to an art.

1969’s Space Oddity is an album that slots perfectly into one of my favourite periods of time for music, while The Man Who Sold The World from the following year gave me my first Bowie “oh shit” moment. I sat listening to ‘Saviour Machine’ and was in disbelief that this could be the same guy from 1967, shrieking over a rhythm section reminiscent of Black Sabbath with sporadic synth parts worthy of being in a prog classics by Yes or Camel.

Hunky Dory presented a more mature, honest and grounded version of himself, a bold move after the raw, beautifully catastrophic third album. I was then met with the persona of Ziggy Stardust, the physical appearance of David that had been etched in my mind ever since I saw the cover of Aladdin Sane. I stupidly tend to have a dislike of artists dressing up, possibly with the exception of Sun Ra and Moondog, so I was dreading this period, fearing I’d have nothing positive to say.

Yet as I laid slumped on my train to Manchester, emotionally inebriated on the shots of serotonin to the cranium from gems like ‘Starman’ and ‘Aladdin Sane’, I knew I’d be just fine.

As I ventured further, I was amazed by another notable leap in sound as he jumped from the dark,

“To be frank, I don’t think there are enough words for the life of Bowie”

dystopian Diamond Dogs concept album and landed in the silky smoothness of Young Americans, released a mere 11 months later. While listening to Young Americans I was aware that this is maybe the fourth or fifth singing style of Bowie’s I’ve come across. The Berlin Era brings forth some of the more arcane sounds of the discography, with the final third of Low feeling like a lost section from the works of Tangerine Dream. This, coupled with the Neu-esque driving rhythms present most outstandingly on the Lodger track ‘Red Sails’, was Bowie’s homage to the Kosmische movement. After tackling the 70’s, I detected something that was close to a rebirth or regeneration for Bowie in the 80’s, and if TV has taught us anything, it’s that this is necessary for Time Lords to survive.

Although I didn’t particularly enjoy the man of the 80’s, it’s apparent that the desire to make something new to himself and move on is still there. A desire that spills into the next decade through the gloomy, industrial sounds synonymous with trip hop and jungle drumbeats that wouldn’t sound out of a place in a 90’s Bristolian warehouse. While I found the noughties one of the weaker decades for David Bowie, I found them somewhat on their way to climatic. This was perhaps down to the luxury of hindsight – I knew I was leading up the end of the saga. The close of this illustrious career did not disappoint. I truthfully felt that this was a return to form. The enigmatic Blackstar truly doubles up as end scene to the life Bowie and as a parting gift for our planet.

“A fish out of water” implies a feeling of discom-

fort, I’d liken my experience more to a fish in an unfamiliar deep body of water. I took back from this odyssey the view that his musical life was the experimentation of music in its purest form and he done this without ever coming across as a charlatan. To me, he approached albums and genres with the curiosity of a child but executed everything he did with the ability and knowledge of a virtuoso.

He morphed and defined what he was before anybody else could and had autonomy over how he was represented, a feature that I’m sure contemporary artists and bands long for. He also displayed what I think is a perfect attitude towards music – he made an album in a certain style and wasn’t afraid to move on no matter how successful it was (a reason I admire bands like Radiohead, Stereolab and The Horrors). He touches on almost every aspect of music apart from rap, but then again he does come awfully close on ‘African Night Flight’.

What must also be noted was Bowie’s humbleness through this approach to music. He was definitely conscious of the influence he had on a generation after him but simultaneously allowed himself to be influenced by others. To be frank I don’t think there are enough words for the life of Bowie – with the possible exception of a biography. What I mean is that my words could not say or do enough nor do I think any of the numbers given to him in the form of sales or ratings of albums tell us enough. I see the works of Bowie as an exceptional case, something that must be experienced in order to be understood. I now understand.

Photo: Stephen Luff @Flickr

Bowie in Berlin The last few days have seen mourners congregating to pay their respects to David Bowie in his birthplace of Brixton, adopted home of New York, and also at Hauptstraße 155, Berlin, where he lived during an intensely creative period of his career, with one Iggy Pop as his flatmate. Bowie’s former home, to which he relocated in 1976 determined to get clean from cocaine, lies in the district of Schöneberg, the centre of gay life in Berlin. With producers Brian Eno and Tony Visconti, in the setting of the beautiful Hansa Tonstudio, Bowie crafted the albums which became known as the Berlin Trilogy, and are regarded today as among his best.

Low captured Bowie’s struggle to rid himself of his addiction with some of his most emotional work, as well as the killing off of his Thin White Duke persona and glam-rock era that had gone before. Heroes is more optimistic, completing his transition to an avantgarde style of rock thriving in Berlin, a beating cosmopolitan heart in the vacuum of the Eastern Bloc. The trilogy ends with Lodger, a gateway record to the poppier work Bowie would go on to do on the outlandish ‘Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)’, and with Nile Rodgers on Let’s Dance.

Of course, this all took place in West Berlin—a capitalist enclave bricked off from the Communist world by the Berlin Wall. The instrumentals on Low and Heroes tapped into the city’s Zeitgeist with weird, experimental sounds evocative of the Cold War paranoia and the pain wrought by its division. These have had broad influence, from the composer Philip Glass and his symphonies ‘Low and Heroes’, to Joy Division, originally named Warsaw after the Low track ‘Warszawa’.

For many Berliners, it is the title track from Heroes which speaks the most to their city. The lyrics tell a classic story of underdog lovers separated by the Wall, longing for the day when they can transcend it all, and indeed be “heroes”. It’s also one of Bowie’s most powerful vocal performances—every howl and yelp speaks of the unbeatable will on both sides of the wall to over-

Bowie Starter Pack For those a little unfamiliar with Bowie’s work, here’s three albums to get you started...

Rob Paterson Music Editor

The Berlin Trilogy, and the man who made it, left an indelible mark on the city in which it was spawned. Elizabeth Rushton remembers the albums from behind the wall come the divisions keeping them apart. This is even more the case on the version he recorded in German, which I dare you to seek out and try not to be moved.

At a 1987 concert in West Berlin, Bowie’s dedication of the song to all Berliners, including those listening on pirate radio just metres away in the East, added fuel to their fire of longing for freedom and unity within their city. It’s because of this concert that the German government’s thanks to Bowie for “helping to bring down the wall” is no overblown statement. It was an earthquake that shook the foundations of the Wall, even if there’s no evidence indicating the song was on the Politburo’s playlist in the weeks leading up to its fall in 1989. At his old haunts, and in the shadow of the remains of the Wall at the East Side Gallery, there will always be a part of David Bowie in Berlin.

Giving everything away: Blackstar revisited

Now the dust has settled on Bowie’s death, his parting gift deserves a reapprasial. Patrick Grealey looks at Blackstar in a new light In the muted wisdom of his august years, David Bowie had relaxed his propensity for the artistas-art subtext which had always accompanied his music (or was it the other way around?) and instead adopted an antithetical reclusiveness, whereby new releases were casually and unexpectedly slid under the door. It was in this slightly bewildering manner that 2013’s The Next Day was delivered, and, well, just kind of left at that. Bowie was happy to forgo all the time-honoured publicly-lived rockstar nonsense and just play in the corner, grooming his genius for nobody’s benefit or pleasure but his own.

Blackstar, in contrast with the relatively straightforward musicality of The Next Day, is as free as fire and weird as hell. While The Next Day was a thrilling reminder that Bowie could still rock hard and write great tunes, the darker Blackstar cuts straight back to the Bowie bread-and-butter of being disconcertingly original. The title track is a Photo: Press shot

ten-minute tumble through modal tricks and unsettlingly obscure lyrics that makes ‘The Pyramid Song’ sound like ‘Frere Jacques’, and the supposedly redeeming groove which lurches forth midway through is unable to resist the corrupting influence of the song’s dark gravity, and it ends more perverse than it began, which was pretty damn perverse indeed.

The rest of the album doesn’t dilute the peculiarity of this precedent, and the subsequent six songs strike equally disorienting tones. ‘’Tis a Pity She’s a Whore’ and ‘Lazarus’ leers unpleasantly with a fervent psychosis and the latter with a depressive languor, and ‘Sue (Or In a Season of Crime)’ and ‘Girl Loves Me’ only deepen the madness. The album’s final two tracks almost don’t manage to restore a semblance of sanity, but the fundamental elegiac sweetness of ‘Dollar Days’ and ‘I Can’t Give Everything Away’ ensure that you’re never completely alienated by the delirium which precedes them.

Indeed, alienation seems to be the overriding effect of the album. The music is a bizarre stylistic stew, the lyrics are sad, lewd, or both, when they aren’t incomprehensible, and Bowie twists and moulds his voice like he hadn’t in years. But no matter how uncomfortable Blackstar makes you feel, ultimately the songs are too engrossing, too morosely fascinating to reject, never mind too artfully wrought. And now, in the context of Bowie’s death, which, as we now know, he knew was coming soon, all this exploratory darkness seems insuperably more brave, more astounding, more heartbreaking.

The previously mysterious lyrics of ‘Lazarus’ are now tragically clear in their morbid meaning, and ‘I Can’t Give Everything Away’, the last song of his last album, seems to lament the dreadful totality of Bowie’s final, most daring artistic project: To die. Insist though he may that he couldn’t give everything away, the world that he’s left infinitely richer behind him will beg to differ.

Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972) Hunky Dory (1971)

Scary Monsters (1980)

This is probably the easiest way to see the meteor strike Bowie’s presence on earth was. Its influence on fashion, performance and the sonic landscape of the 70s is immeasurable, it serves somewhat as a mission statement for his ever morphing career and is one of his most electrifyingly likable albums. All impact no substance? No way. If the Ziggy’s theatrics drive you wild, follow through his glam evolution to Aladdin Sane and the dytopian Diamond Dogs. If you wish every tack was as sublimely written as ‘Rock and Roll Suicide’, take a step backwards and see Bowie behind the mask…

Bowie’s 80’s period isn’t exactly his most fondly remembered and many see this album as the beginning of the end. Seen in another light though, Scary Monsters is the perfect medium between the unadulterated pop appeal of Let’s Dance and the too-weird-for-some Berlin era. Retching guitars tumble across ‘Up The Hill Backwards’, which otherwise is so sweet it could have been taken from a John Hughes soundtrack. It’s a disorientating mess of sound, but like shoving a whole wad of sour jelly beans in your mouth at once, it’s hella addictive.

To call this album stripped back is ridiculous; a number of tracks feature full horn and string sections.

But this is Bowie before his status as a cultural icon.

There’s no kooky character, no wacky outfits. He isn’t riffing on a specific theme or warping a specific genre.

All he has is his incredible ability to write epic ballads and spunky rock romps as well as he can soothing odes and bright pop songs. ? Yes. Because he’s the guy who put ‘Life On Mars’, ‘Andy Warhol’, ‘Quicksand’ and ‘Changes’ on one fucking album.

14

Music

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Record Reappraisal

Swans:White Light from the Mouth of Infinity / Love of Life Released 2010 via Basis Records

Young God Records’ remastered release of two albums from Swans’ reverb-drenched ‘second phase’ unearths a monster. Joe Connell salutes a band like no other It’s a generally accepted fact of pop music, and indeed, art, that artists produce their best work in their youth, as wealth, cynicism and the toils of old age eventually hamper any attempts to function in line with past glories.

Thank fuck that Swans have taught us otherwise.

Back in 2010 when Michael Gira reactivated his great beast of a band, many were understandably concerned for the project’s continuing quality. Swans had met its comfortable end at Gira’s command, leaving behind the mammoth Soundtracks for the Blind and double live album Swans Are Dead. Who reasonably would have expected Swans to spit out two of the finest albums of the 21st century?

Where other musicians of Gira’s age might have been negotiating the decimal point on a reunion tour paycheck and half-heartedly recording a depressing tie-in album, The Seer and To Be Kind roared with renewed artistic confidence.

Now, the man’s like the devil walking the earth in human form, working at some kind of mid-century carnival. Halfway between Wer-

ner Herzog and WWE’s The Undertaker.

But it wasn’t always so.

At the end of 2015 Young God Records released remastered versions of the Swans albums White Light from the Mouth of Infinity and Love of Life in a triple CD set, along with an album of bonus tracks. They harken back to the ‘second phase’ of Swans, a reverbdrenched, ethereal monster that gracefully rather than abrasively assaulted the ears of its listeners.

It is right to call this period a ‘second phase’ for Swans. The incorporation of Gira’s “mate”, Jarboe, into the group dynamic, manifests in an eerie gothic tenderness. In Swans’ dark world where only the strong survive, this tenderness feels relieving, yet also deeply strange and discomfiting. Rest assured that the band still bare their teeth. On tracks like Love of Life’s ‘Her’, for instance, the listener is hypnotised by gothic melancholy, only to be dragged headfirst into a familiar cacophony when the time comes.

Both albums’ glistening use of reverb produce cavernous soundscapes: big long sonic

the Interview

Jeffrey Lewis

Since first hitting the so-called “anti-folk” circuit in 1997, Jeffrey Lewis has been staking his place as a fringe icon with a steady drip of lovingly crafted records and comics. The man described by Jarvis Cocker as “the best lyricist working in the US today” has always been honest and open as a songwriter, and equally so as an interviewee. But when we fired over a few questions via email to the New York folk hero recently, we could hardly have expected the brilliant 3000 word manifesto he fired right back.

What followed is essentially a Jeffrey Lewis guide to reconciling dignity and success as a modern musician.

Photo: Album Artwork

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corridors for Gira to bellow down his misanthropy. Unlike the no-wave classics Filth and Cop, the perverse id fades into the background, accenting rather than dominating the tracks. We’re no longer simply in an abattoir, but one where ‘Tubular Bells’ is playing in the background. Nonetheless, the traditional hallmarks of Swans are all here; sinister Lynchian velvet; the implacable desire to transcend the limitations of body and mind; that great spectre of the oedipal womb.

All in all, it’s a much more terrifying experience than Gira could have ever produced in his late twenties. The pain here is chronic, and less angry, but far more profound. And, especially on Love of Life, the songs are heartfelt and sensitive in a way that foreshadows Gira’s later work with the folk-influenced Angels of Light.

These re-releases show us a memory in the life of a band that has continually adapted and refocused its strengths. But, if that isn’t an appealing endorsement, simply listen because it’s Swans, and it sounds like nothing else on earth.

You seem to have been able to attain and maintain a position of neither scary superstardom nor commercial failure. Is this the perfect level of success?

In many ways it seems to be a good place to be, much better than being overexposed and over-rated. I feel like I’ve still got a long way to go before everybody’s tired of me, because most people have never heard of me, that’s a very different position to be in than somebody who has already gotten a lot of press exposure, magazine covers, TV appearances, all of that stuff, I feel like once an artist gets that level of exposure it’s sort of like you’ve had your day, and everything you do after that can be viewed as some sort of decline.

So you’re better off with a very slow climb, rather than a quicker climb, which could lead to a drop. Actually none of that stuff matters at all, the only thing that matters is touching something, reaching something, artistically, that generates the spark of excitement and discovery that makes something great.

Have you ever had the option of ‘selling out’? And is that an unthinkable thing for you to do?

Depends what you mean, I do remember in 2001 when Rough Trade offered me that first album contract, just to put out The Last Time I Did Acid I Went Insane, to make a CD of songs from my tapes, and pay me a $1,000 advance, and have the CD come out in stores on the Rough Trade label, that seemed like a step into the “commercial” music world that I was unsure of taking. I considered not doing it, keeping my musical path completely separate from the world of labels and distribution, and just sticking with recording my songs on to cassettes and selling them for $3 at my gigs the way I always had, very cheap and very home-made, and then leave the rest of it to pure word-of-mouth, that seemed purer and more natural.

In retrospect, I think the decision to work with Rough Trade forced me to up my level of quality. The awareness that more people were listening forced me to stop messing around as much and start giving myself a higher standard of quality. Prior to that I was much more of a mess. I didn’t even have a tuning pedal for my guitar in those early years. I’d spend so much time on stage being out of tune or trying to re-tune my guitar, stuff like that. So that first “sell out” of putting stuff out on Rough Trade was probably a good thing for me. But other than that, I have no interest in commercializing my material.

So I’m guessing you wouldn’t let your songs be used in adverts?

I don’t need the money! I’m able to pay rent and eat and buy some records, so why would I want to let my songs be used to sell somebody else’s ideas other than my own? I’ve turned down various offers from commercial inter-

ests, stuff for car commercials or jeans, I try to avoid that stuff in any way that I can. It’s crazy that even at my tiny level you get pounced on as a potential billboard.

When you play some little festival you get an email like “Every performer playing at this festival gets a free pair of this particular brand of jeans! All you have to do is tell us your size, and wear the jeans on stage during your set, and you can keep them!” And I’m like, what is this? Am I a homeless naked person walking around wearing a barrel? Do I have to go through the humiliation of being somebody’s sandwich board just for the sake of me getting a pair of pants? First of all, I already have pants, and if I want another pair of pants I can just buy them. Second of all, you want me to advertise your stuff for you and you’re not even offering to pay me? You expect me to be so grateful just for the chance to own a free pair of of pants that I’ll pimp your product for you?

It’s crazy how people just take for granted that you are supposed to be excited about advertising any random product they throw at you. Even when it’s some higher-budget car commercial thing, I just don’t need it.

Of course, if I really needed the money, or if somebody I loved was sick and I needed to money to pay for their treatment or something, then it would be a different discussion, there might actually BE a discussion. But without actually needing it, there’s no reason to even enter into a discussion about it. I don’t hold it against artists to do this stuff—The Fall is one of my favourite bands and there have been commercials that use their music, but they probably needed the money, or whatever, I don’t know, it’s not any of my business really. It doesn’t affect my love for the band. It’s a personal decision. I’m lucky that I’ve been in a position where I can afford to just stand on a high-horse and spout off about this, maybe later in my life things might change and I won’t feel so casual about pointing fingers and yapping.

How has Manhattan changed over the years that you’ve been there, and how do you feel about it?

All cities change over time, and when you’re 20 and you realize your city is a lot different from how it was when you were 10, you feel indignant about it, and you complain a lot. But by the time you’re 30, and you realize it isn’t even the same as it was when you were 20 or 25, you start to realize this is just the constant process of change that happens everywhere, all the time. You could talk to somebody in San Francisco, Berlin, Dublin, Beijing, Tel Aviv, Manchester—everybody would have similar complaints. There is basically zero chance that you could ever find a city anywhere on earth where people wouldn’t have similar complaints, over a similar period of time.

I don’t mean to suggest a pure fatalism, be-

Illustration by Joe Connell

cause there are things that are worth organizing and fighting to preserve. I don’t believe in the “invisible corrective hand of capitalism” or the “democracy of the free market” or selfserving rich-person ideological crap like that.

There is definitely a tremendous value in having tenant’s organizations and historical preservations and zoning laws and rent regulations and a whole lot of other protections for people and neighbourhoods and families and small businesses. I would much rather see strong regulations for all of that stuff, and fight for better laws and protections for that, rather than just throw up my hands and say “oh well, things change, don’t complain about it.”

How’s the music scene in Manhattan these days? And more generally what are you listening to?

I don’t listen to much modern stuff, in general. I can’t hear most modern performers as artists, I just hear them as business people. It doesn’t matter how good the band is. I know too much about the machinations behind the music, and I know how over-thought their recording process is, how much they are second-guessing what they think would be successful. I know how much their stage-show is a pre-scripted theatrical piece based on a setlist that they play basically exactly the same way every night, with a sound engineer who knows what song is coming next and what levels to adjust the sound to in order to have it sound the way it does on the album.

Isn’t that a little pessimistic?

I can’t help it! I can just picture them in negotiations about what kind of commercials their music needs to sound good for, or how to master their album so that the sound quality is good enough to potentially be included in a movie soundtrack or a video game. I don’t look around me and see anybody I can believe in as an artist.

Over 15 or so years in the ‘biz, have you seen a lot of other musicians/artists around you give up and find new jobs? Were you ever close to doing the same?

Every time I make an album I feel like it’s the last one, because I don’t have any good stuff left over, and I can’t imagine how I could ever write another song, and I despair, then I write ten stupid songs over the next year and nothing is worth holding on to and I despair more and feel convinced that I’m cooked.

Then somehow I end up on the other side eventually, with new material that I feel great about, and excited about, and I feel better than ever. Maybe one day that will stop happening, and then I’ll just rot away and come to a halt when I’m tired of the old songs and not excited about the new songs. I hope not.

Read the full version online at mancunion. com/music/

Games 15

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Feature

Most Anticipated Games for 2016

Welcome back to the new year! To kick off the first issue of 2016, we in the Games section have decided to inform you all of what games we are looking forward to in this new year. These games span multiple consoles and are of multiple genres, but all of them are looking to be awesome games that we definitley think you should play.

Photo: Nintendo Co. Ltd.

Photo: Electroinc Arts, Inc., Bioware

Photo: Square Enix Holdings Co., Ltd

Photo: Ubisoft Entertainment S.A.

Legend of Zelda Wii U

Mass Effect Andromeda

Final Fantasy XV

Various

– Josh Goldie

– Robert Parris

– Stephen Lewis

– Deven Kara

For every main line, console, Zelda title, Nintendo always tries to go out of their to make sure everything is filled with the polish and content you should expect from any AAA title. So when Eiji Aonuma announced last year that the Wii U’s big upcoming Zelda title will be delayed until 2016 I was not surprised. What is surprising is the complete lack of information we have about this game. We do not even have a proper title yet!

Being left in the dark like this has left some people uneasy but I see it as a good sign. Nintendo are aiming to make a huge ‘open-world’ Zelda game with this, much like the original game on the NES which was massive for its time. The theme of that game was exploration and discovering everything for yourself and I believe the same will come about from this hotly anticipated title. So going in blind is fully recommended and I am sure that is why Nintendo is so tight-lipped on the title. With the NX looming on the horizon there is no way Nintendo can delay this Wii U title for much longer so look forward to playing Link’s new adventure by the end of this year. That is what I am doing.

Bioware really raised the stakes with the Mass Effect trilogy, delivering arguably the most epic and unique experience of the previous console generation. Part of my anticipation comes from how they could possibly top the older games considering the shocking and haunting finale the series left on. Little is known about Andromeda so far, other than it will be set long after the events of the original trilogy, and it is powered by the godfather of game engines: Frostbite 3. The underappreciated multiplayer from Mass Effect 3 will also make a return in some form, and perhaps the biggest revelation of them all; the infamous 6 wheeled Mako will be making a return. Seriously Bioware, please let us use it in multiplayer, this time. That would be amazing!

It’s been seven years since we’ve had a brand new final fantasy game that is not a direct sequel and not an MMO. Final Fantasy XV looks to revitalise the series yet again as has already been seen through the demo of Episode Duscae, with a fresh combat system and incredible graphics.

Square Enix has spent years on this game, originally titled Final Fantasy Versus XIII when it was hinted at years ago, and the results should be nothing short of impressive.

Honourable mentions Dark Souls 3 Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Honourable Mentions No Man’s Sky Crackdown 3

Honourable Mentions Fire Emblem Fates Genei Ibun Roku #FE

Photo: Electroinc Arts, Inc, Coldwood Interactive

Photo: Sony Computer Entertainemnt, Inc

Photo: Koei Tecmo Holdings Co., Ltd.

Photo: 2K Games, Inc, Firaxis Games

2016 looks to be a good year for video games so I had a really hard time just narrowing down one game I look forward to. In the end I gave up and I know this is cheating but instead I thought I would mention a handful of games from the upcoming year. Ubisoft has a lot of great games coming up from a new Far Cry game set in the stone age (Far Cry Primal) to the next Tom Clancy game: the Division. Assassin’s Creed Chronicles is also getting its next two part set in India and Russia.

There is still no sign of a mainstream Assassin’s Creed game for next year so these will do well to tide me over. Finally, we got a new South Park game announced last year called South park – The Fractured but Whole. If it is anywhere near as good as the last one then we are in for a treat.

Moving away from Ubisoft there are various other sequels like Naughty Dogs Uncharted 4 – A Thief’s End and Mirrors Edge Catalyst that have shown a lot of promise and have kept fans waiting for a very long time. Gears 4 is another hotly anticipated sequel that we have not seen a lot of so far. The release is set for next year so hopefully it does not get a delay cause I want it as soon as possible! The final two games is the indie title No Man’s Sky and Sony’s new IP from Guerrila Games: Horizon Zero Dawn. Both of these games Feature look fantastic from the never-ending universe in the former to an exciting action-RPG that looks to pit man against machines. Whatever your opinion is on these games, 2016 is still looking to be a very exciting year and I just cannot wait.

Want to meet fellow gamers in Manchester?

Unravel

Nights of Azure

XCOM 2

– Connor McBride

– Jasmin Tiyur

– Saboor Quereshi

If anyone was watching E3 last year, this was the game during the EA presentation with that adorably awkward developer brandishing the doll.

Unravel is a physics based puzzle platformer that oozes charm. You play as a yarn doll that has to use string to navigate his way through the world. When I played it at Gamescom 2015 it was a beautiful game with great controls that made me incredibly excited for the finished product. In that theatre of corporate fat cats pedaling Guitar Hero games, it was an incredibly refreshing reprieve. It also has the accolade of being the only EA game I have been legitimately interested in for a while.

Honourable Mentions Firewatch

As one the biggest fans of RPGs, I am most looking forward to this game (even more so than Final Fantasy Explorers, believe it or not!) because it is so similar to many of our most beloved, typical MMORPGs. That’s not to say that the game itself will be typical, but it’s always fun to take the stress of “online life” out of gaming and just hack your way through as a single-player with all the worlds, features and battles that we love so much about the online experience!

XCOM 2 is the big one for me in the near future.

The original stole vast amounts of time out of my life and I can’t wait for the sequel. I’m going on holiday this month and most of it will be spent playing this game. Also day 1 mods! The aliens won’t know what hit them.

Honourable Mentions Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Ratchet and Clank

Honourable Mentions

Final Fantasy Explorers Assassins Creed Chronicles India

We’ve only just scratched the surface of the great games that will be releasing this year. As a gamer there is plenty to be excited about in 2016 and I hope you all look forward to what this year is going to hold.

Welcome to 2016, we all you had a good holiday and new years. We are going to keep things pretty standard with our first event of the semester. We will be holding a welcome back console night on the 3rd of February at Whitworth Hall’s the Grove Bar. We will have all of our traditional consoles from Wii U to Xbox as well as some old retro systems like the Dreamcast. So come on down, meet people, have a drink and play some great games with great people.

Do not forget to check our Facebook below to stay up to date with all of our events. /GamingSociety

Fashion & Beauty

16

Beauty

Post-exam beauty hacks Laura Mills Contributor

Whether you’ve completed all of your deadlines and exams or you’ve still got a few to go, stress can get the better of everyone. When you get stressed, so does your skin, and long hours sat at the computer drinking coffee and eating biscuits can take their toll, leaving it dry, oily, spotty, or just plain old dull. So which ever concern is currently affecting your skin, we’ve got a routine for you.

Photo: Feelunique

Cleansing First things first, put down that foaming cleanser. It’s not doing you any good. Whatever skin type you have, foaming cleansers strip your skin of all their natural moisture, making dry skin drier, oily skin oilier, and spotty skin spottier. Instead, go for a milk such as the Avene Gentle Milk Cleanser, a balm like Clinique’s Take The Day Off Balm, or an oil like Una Brennan’s Vitamin C Cleansing Oil. Showing your skin a little bit of extra love with a really good cleanse will do it wonders.

Exfoliating

Photo: Feelunique

Photo: Boots

Stay well away from any type of exfoliator with little beads in it! Although they’re super cheap and it feels like you’re doing a really good job at getting your skin nice and clean, the reality is that you’re probably causing it even more damage. Instead, try an acid exfoliator.

They sound a little scary but it’s nothing more than a jazzed up toner. Try using Pixi Glow Tonic or Nip and Fab Glycolic Fix Pads twice a day for glowing skin in no time.

Serums/Oils Whether you’ve got oily skin or dry skin, oils are a must for repairing damaged skin. One of my favourite oils is the Clarins Face Treatment Oil as they do different versions of the oil depending on what skin type you have. Lotus is suitable for oily and combination skin whereas Blue Orchid is more suited for dry and dehydrated skin. However, if you’re more sensible with your loan, a budget friendly option would be the Body Shop’s Vitamin E Overnight Serum in Oil, which is suitable for most skin types. Oils are great for getting that glow back into your skin that staying up till 4am staring at your essay took away from you.

Style Guide

Winter dressing Sarah Kilcourse Contributor January and February are generally the heavy hitters of winter. It is now that the temperature can be sub-zero, as cold winds fill the air and clouds turn the rain into snow. While in our houses, we can turn up the heating and wrap up in blankets, unfortunately at some point we have to venture outside into the cold.

Personally, the most important areas for warmth are hands, feet and head. If I can keep these toasty, chances are the rest of me will be just fine. I can’t deny that I am continually cold and do take cold weather dressing to the extreme—thermals are a necessity from November to March, but it’s fine, you would never know. Or so I hope.

Back to hands, feet and head. Boots are the answer to cold feet; be it ankle, riding or overthe-knee, all are equally stylish and give you the chance to vary your look throughout the chill of winter. Just because it’s two degrees outside doesn’t mean I want to spend the next month in one outfit. The current trend for chunky soles creates an extra distance between your feet and the ground, another way to keep feet warm.

Boots can be an expensive purchase but keep an eye out for extra student discount offers available at this time of year. Retailers know that we get our loans in January and are trying to tempt you to spend with 20% off, make the most of it.

I’m not the biggest fan of hats, what with the effect they can have on your hair, but they really do keep you toasty. In the likely event of rain/ sleet/snow/hail, hats can even be your hair saviours, providing a layer of protection from the invading moisture in the air.

We can look forward to the upcoming fashion

Photo: Superdrug

Photo: The Body Shop

Photo: Liberty

Work it!¬

Photo: John Lewis

A step that’s often quite easy to skip when you’re busy, but one that is as crucial as brushing your teeth.

French brands like La Roche Posay and Avene have a great selection of moisturisers available for all skin types and are great basic products for getting your skin back on track. For oily skin try the Effaclar range and for dry skin try the Hydraphase range, both from La Roche Posay.

Photo: jagadesign @Flickr

Extras Photo: Boots

Photo: John Lewis

Photo: Boots

Photo: Lush

There you have it! Some tips to get your skin back in tip top condition just as uni rolls round again.

Photo: Zara

Feature

A Tribute to David Bowie: A Style Icon At six in the morning on a dreary January Monday, emotions run rife as the weekly tasks ahead unfold, unveiling in front of bleary eyes and heavy heads. But nothing could quite set the week into a downward slump like the announcement of pop legend and style icon David Bowie’s death. Only three days after releasing his 25th studio album ‘Blackstar’, the unexpected radio broadcast pierced through commuters’ half-conscious haze. Every voice echoed ‘it’s the end of an era’, as the world realised that the most fearless and creative presence in recent history would no longer envision, amaze or provoke.

As Bowie rose to fame, his ambiguous sexuality and androgynous aesthetic stirred society: whether loved or hated, his influence was unavoidable. Older generations were ‘bemused’ whilst the youth culture believed he liberated and artistically overcame their limitations.

He was praised for his ‘capacity for reinvention’, such as his androgynous characterisation on stage, his role as a romanticised alien in ‘The Man Who Fell To Earth’ (1976) or the hauntingly gothic Goblin King in ‘Labyrinth’ (1986). He opened up possibilities for others to explore their sexuality and personality, at first incidentally through his stage personas and later with greater awareness, including his symbiotic physicality with Tilda Swinton.

Bowie said ‘I’m not a rock star’, admitting he struggled to perform onstage at the start of his

career. From this evolved the stage personalities, resulting in iconography perhaps more famous than the man himself. From Brixton-born David Jones to the Thin White Duke, from his futuristic New Romantic dressing to the mysterious eye patch, there evolved many faces of Bowie. The most famous of all these would have to be Ziggy Stardust, whose iconography became emblematic of the early 70s and is still recognised and loved today.

In later years, Bowie removed himself from the prying public eye but continued to astound through his work. In ‘The Stars (Are Out Tonight)’, he sings ‘we will never be rid of these stars, but we hope they live forever’, capturing the lingering past that continues to be celebrated. The V&A honoured his career that spanned half a century in an exhibition called ‘David Bowie is’, presenting his continuously evolving and changing stage appearances.

He joked about his inability to prolong an interest too long, resigning his inconsistency to A.D.D., but really it seems the singer was able to put to bed his personas before any could lose their pizzazz. With continuous energy and innovation, new personalities and new style identities were born.

From skin-tight Lycra to flaming red hair, hippy dresses and ballooning trouser legs, the weirdest and wackiest adopted a place in Bowie’s sartorial archives. He lent his name to designers such as

Lookbook

Out with the old and in with the stylish

Photo: ASOS

Feature

Moisturisers

Spots getting you down? Try using a spot gel like the Origins Super Spot Remover on the affected areas overnight. Not only does this help reduce the blemish, it also helps reduce redness and any potential scarring that it may have caused. You’ll be left with blemish free skin and no reminders that you ever had one in the first place. Don’t neglect your lips either; with the cold weather well and truly here, lips can be left chapped, dry, and flaky. Giving them a good scrub with something like Lush Lip Scrub provides a great base for a really nourishing balm and helps take your lips back to their usual post-cold self.

weeks providing some serious winter style inspiration; already at the men’s fashion weeks we have been given some master classes in winter dressing. The main look street styler’s have been sporting to combat the cold is the jacket/coat combo. A fantastically modern throwback to old school overcoats, the new version is less ‘Crombie and suit’, more ‘leather jacket with duster coat on top’.

The layered element of winter dressing is a good way to combat the ensuing chill after being caught in a shower, no matter what type of precipitation; its always comforting to know you can remove a layer and still stay warm. Throw on all the knitwear you have over jeans, skirts, dresses, jumpsuits—you name it, the more layers the better. With every piece removed, a new outfit is created.

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ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Rebecca Thomas Contributor The thought of leaving the student nest for the corporate world is a dark one. Life will be ‘actionable’ and filled with ‘blue sky thinking’; hangovers will be out and Chai Latte’s will be in. The sad reality is that faux pas are imminent.

The most painless way of transitioning will be to have sartorial confidence: all jobs are different, but the best method is probably to start basic and learn your workplace’s dress vibe over time.

The most problematic of office rabbit holes will involve footwear: graduate roles are at the bottom of the food chain, and the ‘running’ jobs will most likely be slung towards the newbie.

Happily, there seems to have been a general acceptance of the merits of flats. Christina Binkley, from The Wall Street Journal, wrote: ‘Long stuck in the purgatory of casual wear, flats are suddenly being promoted for polished occasions.’ The very best are the heeled ballerinas from Zara.

A trick of the intern industry is also to wear impressive heels and carry flats in your bag.

Turtlenecks speak: take, for example, Love Actually. Find your turtleneck niche and flaunt it, and if in doubt, opt for black and look like a successful career panther. Tucking in looks great and will help you feel as though you have your life together: invest in blouses to feed to midi skirts and trousers, either black or tailored. Your bag is your new life and will begin as your only friend; smart rucksacks and citybags will be there for you.

For men, the trend is for attention to detail: London city wear dictates that point collars are out and spread collars are in, and added extras like pinstripe socks and coloured pocket square will give you slick credibility.

Consistently good places to shop for workwear are Whistles, Zara, Mango, and H&M, and aiming to dress like Olivia Palermo is not a bad idea. An alternative to this teething method would be to dazzle your work cohort by becoming a walking statement: in this scenario, make like the queen and hit the co-ords. Wear contrasting prints and don’t apologise.

New year new look: Perisha Kudhail suggests some ways to incorporate some changes in your style for 2016 With 2016 being a prosperous year in business, who says that it can’t be a prosperous year in fashion as well? With trends from previous years contributing to our sense of style, how do we know what to keep and how to evolve our fashion ways? Here are our stylish top tips for 2016 and how you might just surprise yourself.

It has been said that shoes can make an outfit, and we are advocates of that, so, for you to feel fabulous this year, your footwear has to be on point. Doing a shoes clean-out is one of the most liberating things you can do this year, and it’s all about elegance. Get rid of shoes that you haven’t worn in two years! Even if you think they have a chance, they probably don’t. This year, invest in a pair of day heels. Heels don’t necessarily have to mean discomfort—a good pair of heeled boots or sandals can add the glam to your day look, and what better way to grab a pair than during sale season?!

TRY: Black Woven Peeptoe Block Heel Sandals. New Look £34.99.

Now that your footwear is sorted, we can move onto the jackets. The problem that people had in 2015 was that investments were made into fast trends. They were in and out of fashion in no time!

Use 2016 to look for a statement jacket which is in season every year. When sorting through your jackets, evaluate what jackets you think give you the look you want. You need a casual jacket, an evening coat, and a day coat. This threesome will ensure you are covered for all occasions, and you won’t need to faff around with what’s in fashion; it’s all about you feeling great.

TRY: Wide Lapel wool-blend coat. Mango £59.99.

When it comes to tops, it’s time to ditch the big prints that have been in your wardrobe since high school. Whatever sentiment you have attached to them, disconnect from them and invest in some plain block colours. With these tops, you get to make a canvas on those days when you have no idea what to wear. Teamed with great accessories, you could make the same top look different every time you wear it.

TRY: Long Sleeve Shirt. Zara. £29.99.

With all this talk about clothes, we can’t forget about the make up! Make sure to throw away all of the out of date products that you have in your vanity case. 2016 won’t be a good year if you get conjunctivitis. This year is all about less is more, so put down your contouring brush and keep it simple with a good bronzer to achieve a similar effect. A light eye shadow with a fabulous volumizing mascara can beat a heavily made over face any day. It’s all about keeping it simple, yet effective. Try a new makeup product or technique, and see how you get along with it.

TRY: Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage. £26.50. Harvey Nichols.

With all these top tips for the New Year, always remember to add your own spin to what you wear. Experiment with different styles and don’t be scared to try something new. You never know, your stylish new technique might be your new go-to.

Sophie Soar Contributor

Freddie Burretti and Kansai Yamamoto; he was photographed by Brian Ward and Alex Chatelain; he inspired the modelling world, from Christine Walton’s lookalike shoot (Vogue Paris 1971) to Kate Moss’s tribute covers (Vogue UK 2003 and Vogue Paris 2012).

However the most prominent message from Bowie’s daring style taught and continues to teach thousands to be courageous in how they want to dress. Not once did his courage seem to falter, in spite of his apparent anxiety about the stage. He didn’t dress to impress but rather to embolden; akin to the power dressing we now associate with women wearing a fierce stiletto, emblazoned suits or shoulder pads to the office.

The wound is still raw but rather than linger upon what cannot be, one should remember what always will be: In both cases, the immortality of a legend. Always an advocate for moving forward, Bowie continually looked to the future rather than remain in the past, famously saying ‘I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise it won’t be boring’; and it never was or will be, as his work continues to influence and inspire, enabling other visionaries to further immortalise Bowie.

Rather than mourn the end of an era, we should alternatively celebrate his vibrant inspiration, his demonstration of the empowering capabilities of clothing and the real meaning he provided in dressing for yourself.

Photo: RV1864@Flickr

Tutorial

How To: Clear Out Your Wardrobe Sophie Soar Contributor

Every year, my dad proudly tells friends and family how 13 years ago he made a New Year’s resolution and has since never broken it. The same sceptical but congratulatory mutterings begin (prior knowledge of his sense of humour allows all to predict there’s definitely some catch in this comment) and he’ll then explain this is because he chose never to make a resolution again.

In an attempt to find a suitable, and better, annual alternative to my father’s own witty resolution, I’ve tried various approaches: take up the gym (can’t afford the fees), take up running (can’t afford the emotional trauma), give up chocolate (managed it once but never again to ensure sanity), give up Instagram (that lasted all of 20 minutes).

As a result, I keep my sights in the area of my life I can happily spend multiple hours and excessive instalments of my student loan in developing: My wardrobe.

Everyone’s approach may vary, with the most significant difference between the clutter hoarders and the ruthless eBay sellers. I fall somewhere in the middle—too lazy to flog my clothes but too ashamed to stay in possession of that jumper, which then normally goes to my least favourite relative.

However a few methods prove effective in de-cluttering your wardrobe and realistically demonstrating it’s time to let go: 1. Turn your clothes hangers backwards This makes a lot more sense than it sounds.

Many recent articles are providing the same brilliant advice: By turning your clothes hangers backwards, when you replace the item forwards it soon becomes obvious which of your clothes you do and don’t wear.

2. Ignore the likes of Vogue, Elle and Grazia I’m never normally an advocate of ignoring the Greats, but sometimes their content is best avoided. Instructing us to buy this, wear that, dress this way or follow that trend can confuse the withering fashion follower. Whilst an entertaining read, not only is it unfeasible but also impersonal.

Stick to what you love wearing and what you know looks good.

at least your basic items to see what you could wear it with. If nothing comes up, then ask yourself whether you’re willing to invest further in this one item.

4. Haul in some extra help Grab your nearest and dearest, a bottle of bubbly (or, you know, Sainsbury’s half price Pinot Grigio), some snacks and your self-confidence—this could get brutal. But that’s what your friends are for. Honesty is the best policy and if they won’t tell you, nobody will. Think Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha.

5. Don’t be afraid to let go If the stilettos from your nineteenth birthday are still sitting in the corner of your room, somehow caked in mud and half a size too small, take a minute, say your goodbyes and pluck up the courage to put them in the bin. Realistically, will you ever wear them again?

6. Donate What could be better than not only having a clear wardrobe, just waiting to be revamped, but also doing a small bit for charity? Having said that, if you have the patience for eBay or Depop, I applaud you and shall advise no further. However for those less patiently inclined, another could love the item much more and the proceeds would also go to a worthwhile cause.

So tidy wardrobe, tidy mind and the perfect resolution you can easily keep for years to come.

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Photos (L-R) : Zara, Harvey Nichols, New Look, Zara

Whilst I personally disprove of advice to “pick a colour scheme” or categorically “synchronise all items” in your cupboard, it’s always worth shopping with your wardrobe in mind. When deliberating a new purchase, mentally skim through

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Film

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ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM Feature

TV Binge

Game of Thrones Interview: Documentary Filmmaker Nick Mattingly Nicole Tamer Film Editor “It is difficult in the current climate to be a documentary filmmaker” admits Nick Mattingly. Not many documentary filmmakers work in the North West. Grateful that he is able to pursue his dream job, and attracting millions of viewers, Nick Mattingly is currently the longest-serving observational documentary filmmaker in Britain.

After pursuing a degree in history, he knew that he wanted to make documentaries. “I was always a bit voyeuristic,” he admits laughing. “Going into different worlds but without actively being part of them, being the silent observer appealed to me”. He first trained as a newspaper journalist before he got a job at Granada Studios in Manchester. He then worked as a freelance film maker. “I wanted to have free reign on the characters and the story that I wanted to document.”

“The first question before I start a documentary is: how can I show someone, something they normally couldn’t see?” This question led to one of his most interesting works so far. Mattingly managed to gain access into HMP Manchester, also known as Strangeways—the largest high security prison of the country. In the series, called Strangeways, Mattingly follows prisoners and staff, presenting everyday life in prison with its highs and lows.

The highest rated documentary produced in the last ten years at ITV, it had a viewership over five million. It was the first time that cameras were allowed into the prison. “They let me do whatever we wanted but they always checked for accuracy. I was highly sympathetic towards the prison officers. Their job is very difficult.”

During his nine months filming, he encountered many strange characters and fascinating stories.

Photo: HBO

Mark Holland Contributor It was recently announced that writer, George R. R. Martin, has now missed the deadline to finish his latest book in time for it to be published before the new series airs.

This puts the upcoming season in the very strange position of airing before the book that it is based on is released.

When Series 6 airs in April, it will mark the first time in the show’s history where all major plot lines will be entirely new to everyone watching, and this venture into unknown territories brings both excitement and trepidation.

The show’s latest season was arguably its weakest yet and it was also the first that really began to deviate from the source material—the writers also continued to face much criticism for their handling of sensitive topics like sexual violence. As the show tries to distance itself from Martin’s novels and become more of its own beast, it has started to feel more reliant on Red Wedding-style style shock factor moments, and less on the slow-burning character development that made it so brilliant in the first place.

This is partly to due to the fact that Game of Thrones is quickly becoming the biggest TV series of all time, with each series bringing a substantially larger budget than the last. Visually, this now means the show is able to pull off more immense spectacular set pieces with bigger sets, bigger battles and much bigger dragons. But as the show grows bigger, so too does its sprawling cast of characters, which makes it increasingly harder to tie up plot lines and give stories the same level of depth as previous seasons had achieved.

The show’s real strength though, has always been its layered characters and how, despite living in a mythical world inhabited by giants and ice zombies, they have always managed to feel three-dimensional and real.

Where most fantasies choose to deal with the binary battles of heroes against villains, Game of Thrones has always focused more on the internal struggles of good and evil faced within each character. As the complex fights for political power increase and the stakes grow higher and higher, we see the impact that this is having on the world and its inhabitants, which makes for much more compelling and rewarding drama.

It’s because of the show’s rich and enigmatic characters that the show is so entertaining and has such universal appeal. Be they good, like the tough and resilient Arya Stark, evil like the conniving and manipulative Petyr Baelish, or morally dubious like the troubled Jaime Lannister, these brilliant characters are the reasons that fans have invested time and emotion into the series, and why the show’s return still brings plenty to which one can look forward.

Game of Thrones is also completely relentless, and has no problem whatsoever killing off its main characters— noone’s fate is certain, which makes it thoroughly gripping in its unpredictability. Season 6 poses many a formidably ominous threat, such as the rise of the monstrous Ramsay Bolton in the North, as well as an ever-growing army of the undead led by the sinister White Walkers. There’s also the small matter of a certain Lord Commander’s fate following Season 5’s cliffhanger finale, that has left fans aching for April 26th.

Photo: ITV

Censorship is a big issue in documentaries and Mattingly often had to go through long periods of negotiations before filming could be started. “The TV channels always wonder whether something might be a politically bad idea.” Lawyers and commissionaires must view edits before approvals. In the documentary series, terrorists were not allowed to be shown, but everyone else—including murderers—had no problems with being exposed.

Since he had been in the industry for so long, Mattingly witnessed how the digital revolution changed approaches to filming. Lightweight cameras and smaller equipment enable a more intimate relationship with the subjects and create an informal atmosphere. Mattingly normally works alone, but for bigger productions he needs a researcher, an assistant producer, and on a occasion, a sound technician, too.

An awareness of what the audience wants to see is important. He emphasised that they should not be underestimated: “Everyone is as stupid as everyone else.” Mattingly normally looks for a certain rhythm in his documentaries—conflict and tensions are important, and he usually focuses on people that he likes and those who are articulate. “When a certain person or story is narratively engaging, the documentary narrates itself.”

The industry has changed a lot since he started. “I never worked for free, but I am aware that everything has become more competitive nowadays.” Even with determination and an understanding of the industry, aspiring documentary filmmakers should be aware that they will have to start from the bottom. Nevertheless, he argues that every kind of experience is valuable.

Classic Review

The NeverEnding Story Nadia Cheung Subeditor One of the definitive fantasy films of the 1980s, Wolfgang Peterson’s The NeverEnding Story is a classic in so many different ways. Based on about a third of Michael Ende’s children’s novel, The NeverEnding Story follows young Bastian (Barret Oliver) and his adventure into the alternate world of Fantasia through reading The NeverEnding Story—a book that is more than it seems, and an adventure begins for not only the characters in the film, but for the audience, too.

Upon opening the book, and despite being the initial protagonist, Bastian and the film follow Atreyu (Noah Hathaway), whom, in a sense, could be read in a number of different ways, but I like to think of him as Bastian’s alter ego in some omnipotent way; because it’s Bastian who ends up having control and intervenes in the happenings of Fantasia without actually physically being there. The juxtaposition between Bastian and Atreyu is interesting in that we experience the adventure through Bastian reading the book and the initial story becomes the film—what started as a seeming family drama warps into a cheesy synth-fused fantasy with all sorts of wild and tacky characters you could never forget.

Fantasia is threatened by the Nothing—a mysterious destructible force—because the Childlike Princess (Tami Stronach) is sick and about to die, resulting in the destruction and eventual end of

Wolfgang Peterson’s film stands a unique entry to the canon of children’s fantasy movies

Fantasia. What I love about a hero most is when a hero fails; and Atreyu, the warrior and chosen hero to save the day embodies this failure completely. But that’s okay because the film is all about fantasy and imagination and everything works out in the end if you believe it will: the best moral lesson ever.

My favourite dragon character always will be Falkor (Alan Oppenheimer), the good luck dragon. So lovable, creepy, and positive—he’s like Aslan from the Narnia Chronicles. The real hero, Falkor rescues Atreyu when Fantasia falls apart.

The scene where Falkor flies with Atreyu riding is one of the most iconic because it is so dreamlike and fantastical with its backdrop of stars and the night sky as the Nothing engulfs everything

because all hope and imagination are lost.

The NeverEnding Story does not have the best acting, special effects, or page-to-screen adaptation, but its overall visual style, with painted backdrops and bizarre-looking characters, look like no other film, and it was all still pretty impressive for 1984. Even as a children’s fantasy film, I still think The NeverEnding Story deserves a chance to be on everybody’s watch list. There’s something for everyone and it certainly deserves to be called a classic. If not, then the soundtrack is pretty slick—featuring synth god Giorgio Moroder in some of its score, this film’s title track by Limahl still deserves an award for its soul, but it only reached No. 4 in the UK.

Photo: Neue Constantin Film

Full Reviews on Mancunion.com/film

The Revenant The Revenant is an experimental masterpiece proving that you don’t need much dialogue or CGI to captivate an audience. It is a very real and brutal depiction of a classic revenge plot, executed in a way where many directors would have lacked the creative ability. Based on the true story of mountain man Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio), we follow him on his quest to seek vengeance after being left for dead in the cold, unforgiving—yet seemingly serene and beautiful North American landscape. It won three Golden Globes and is impressively nominated for 12 Oscars. - Leah Slater-Radway

The Danish Girl In the past year transgender issues featured prevalently in the news, and The Danish Girl marks a more serious focus on one of the early pioneers of gender reassignment surgery, Lili Elbe. We meet Einar (Eddie Redmayne) and Gerde Wegener (Alicia Vikander) living in Copenhagen. His wife Gerde sparks Einar’s desire to explore his inner femininity, when he fills in as a life model in a portrait of a dancer. Although the cinematography is beautiful, the film probably doesn’t do justice in its drama of the soul-searching to the struggles that I’m sure the real Gerde and Lili faced. - Leah Slater-Radway

The H8ful Eight

Joy

The Hateful Eight comes straight from the Tarantino textbook and takes him into new thrilling areas. We are introduced to the bounty hunter John Ruth (Kurt Russell), who is transporting his captive Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a crook worthy of a lucrative payout if she reaches Red Rock to be hung. But obstacles arise along the way. An atmosphere of suspicion is rife throughout.

A real drawback of The Hateful Eight is in its failure to fully develop its characters. A good number of the characters are missing any attachment to them, making their fates rather meaningless. - Jack Lunn

Joy tells the story of Joy Mangano (Jennifer Lawrence)—divorced, the desperate head of an eccentric household. A modern rags-to-riches story, Joy explores leaps of faith, betrayal, disappointment, and success. Although being a fan of Jennifer Lawrence, I was left unimpressed with her jaded performance. One element which shouldn’t go without note is cinematographer Linus Sandgren’s work. He and Russell find the perfect balance between portraying Joy’s turbulent path whilst matching it with the warmth of opportunity and optimism—the sole concept to the film. - Elise Gallagher

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ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Review

The Big Short Henry Scanlan Music Editor If, like most people, you harvest anger at whoever caused the 2008 financial crisis, and yet can’t quite decipher whom you should be pointing your pitchfork at, then this film is made for you. The Big Short will turn your blind rage at the nebulous enemy of ‘the bankers’ into something approaching informed anger at specified targets. Adam McKay goes to great lengths—and repeated fourth-wall breaking—to ensure that we all get it: This really happened, and here’s how. His film succeeds in drilling his point home.

Added to your little black book will be CDO managers, sub-prime mortgage lenders, triple-A raters, and, most likely, the main characters of this film.

Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell, Christian Bale (in brilliant Rain Man mode) and Brad Pitt (in Robert Redford mode) all play the various schemers trying to capitalise on the economy’s capitulation after discovering the rot at its core. They’re betting

against the big bad banking system, but as Gosling’s sycophantic character makes plain, they’re no heroes.

Their potential gain is the American public’s loss.

Still, McKay has fun getting his audience to fraternize with the enemy. It’s hard to not get caught up in the film’s David and Goliath formula as Bale and co. are repeatedly shot down by high financiers, and you begin to crave the moment when the glass-eyed, perpetually embarrassed Michael Burry (Bale) gets to say “I told you so” to the rest of America. For a while, the film feels like a classic underdog tale, like it’s building up to its own gratifying Hoosiers three-pointer or Rocky IV knockout, until you remember that the livelihoods of millions of people are at stake, and it’s their demise that you’re rooting for.

This is one of the more obvious parallels to be drawn (inevitably) to The Wolf of Wall Street, a film that also revelled in getting the audience to relish its gleeful amorality. In The Wolf of Wall Street, however, that ploy had a lot more conviction, using the excesses of Wall

Top 5 Adam McKay’s Oscar nominated movie, The Big Short, deals generously in information and anger, but it doesn’t quite add up to a moving experience

Street to mirror the excesses that most of society is implicit in, and it also made a lot more sense.

In The Big Short, the contradictions are more confusing. The main characters are doing reprehensible things, but apart from Gosling’s reptilian character they’re all presented as fairly nice people. At least we knew Jordan Belfort was an asshole. The film also attacks the incompetence that led to the crash without properly addressing its real victims, aside from a few snapshots of destitute housing estates and desktops emptied into cardboard boxes.

That in itself wouldn’t be such a problem if The Big Short committed itself as a zingy black comedy, but the issue is that it doesn’t go all the way: The financial meltdown is played for laughs, but it’s then followed by the movie’s sombre final third that proceeds to serve up a platter of moralizing messages, notably from Ben Rickett, played by Pitt, who is again deployed as a pious didactic tool (see also 12 Years A Slave).

Admittedly this shift in

tone does work for Carell’s character, who starts out as a running joke, fuming at waiters and scrapping for taxis, but whose anger gradually grows more weary, more helpless, and more incredulous as more hideous truths reveal themselves.

He becomes the emotional epicentre of the film, particularly during its one truly moving scene in which he finally confronts the suicide of his brother and confesses that instead of helping him, he tried to throw money at the problem. That was one of the movie’s many bank-related analogies, but it was the only one to really hit home, and it’s one of the few scenes I can clearly remember.

The Big Short has a lot going for it. Excellent performances from Carell and Bale, a few laughs, and a skilful explanation of the failures of the American banking system. It’s an enjoyable experience, but for a film dealing with such big ideas, you can’t help but feel you’ve been slightly shortchanged.

Much of the late legend David Bowie’s music has been used brilliantly in film—here are our picks for the five best times his songs elevated movie scenes to brilliance 5) Zoolander – ‘Fashion’ Bowie makes one of his many charismatic acting appearances in this hilarious send-up of the fashion industry, appearing in a brief cameo as himself. The song only appears momentarily as he unexpectedly appears to judge a walkoff between Zoolander and his modelling rival-Hansel. It’s short and sweet but Bowie’s cameo oozes class and makes for a truly memorable and entertaining scene.

4) Guardians of the Galaxy – ‘Moonage Daydream’ This offbeat space-set superhero caper has a completely killer soundtrack and the use of ‘Moonage Daydream’ from 1972’s Ziggy Stardust is a real highlight.

The track featuring lyrics about an alien saving the world from annihilation is perfectly fitting and manages to nail the film’s surreal tone. Who else but Bowie could capture the otherworldliness of the unknown as the ragtag bunch of aliens drift through the galaxy?

Photo:Paramount Pictures

Awards Season

Oscar Nominations 2016: Reactions Photo:Warner Bros. Pictures

Photo:Dreamworks Pictures

“Having the Oscars nominate everything you “Predictable but depressing lack of recognition for the brilliance think is deserving of such recognition is about as likely as Tarantino of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and the word ‘diversity’ doesn’t omitting the ‘n’ word from his films but, in a relatively average year for exactly spring to mind either.” cinema, there are some glaring omissions..”

– Sam Ebner-Landy – Jack Lunn “DiCaprio is gonna be a pity Oscar if he wins.”

– Nadia Cheung “If any animated film deserved a Best Picture nomination, it was “I’m glad to hear that the academy has pledged to double female and minorInside Out. The limited recognition for Steve Jobs and Carol was ity members. Furthermore, too few films are nominated for too many Oscars, rather disappointing too.” there should be a limit.”

– James Moules – Nicole Tamer HOME Pick of the Week

The Assassin

Hou Hsiao-hsien’s The Assassin is a stunningly beautiful yet subtle film that represents martial arts cinema at its absolute finest

James Moules Head Film Editor

Photo: StudioCanal

The winner of last year’s Best Director award at Cannes, Hou Hsiao-hsien’s The Assassin is unmistakably an art-house lover’s wuxia movie. Fans of the more action-packed variety of Chinese martial arts films such as Ang Lee’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Zhang Yimou’s Hero might feel let down by Hsiao-hsien’s deliberate and slow-burning approach to the narrative.

Nonetheless, what the Taiwanese auteur delivers is, on its own terms, a masterful piece of cinema that stands as one of the finest achievements in visual poetry of the decade so far.

Set in 8th century China, the movie tells the story of the titular warrior (Shu Qi), who has been raised to be a deadly killer. We can see from the beginning that she is a master of the sword, second to none in martial prowess. But after an unwanted display of mercy, she is sent on a mission to kill the military governor of Weibo: A man whom she had been intended to marry, long ago.

No overstatement could possibly be made about the intense beauty of The Assassin. With both the black-and-white and colour cinematography at work in different stages of the film, every viewer is treated to a lavish and masterful exercise in visual storytelling. From the relatively still dialogue

scenes to the flurries of violence throughout the picture, Hsiao-hsien delivers an awe-inspiring feat of cinema. Every frame is layered with meaning, drawing us in to a spectacle that is executed with a level of precision and skill to match our Assassin.

Many viewers might be put off the movie by what will undoubtedly be perceived as its agonisingly slow narrative and sparse scattering of action, but it is precisely this deliberate pace that makes The Assassin work so well. Hsiaohsien hypnotises us with an understated story that finds exactly the right levels of intensity and heightened reality that the narrative demands.

The director taps into the mind of our protagonist

Bowie Songs in Film

in her every movement and subtle emotion, and we cannot help but be captives to her tale. Unlike an alarmingly large number of filmmakers today, Hsiao-hsien appreciates the value of subtlety.

Repeated viewing will be essential to fully appreciate a film so nuanced and finely-wrought as The Assassin. The work of a true auteur, Hsiao-hsien succeeds in taking the familiar sights and sounds of the wuxia genre and crafting a martial arts picture worthy of the label of a masterpiece. No true lover of cinema should miss it.

3) Frances Ha – ‘Modern Love’ The use of ‘Modern Love’ as Frances gleefully dances her way through New York makes for a gorgeously joyous sequence and the bittersweet lyrics juxtapose her joyous innocence to great effect. Wonderful.

Photo: The Weinstein Company

2) Inglourious Basterds – ‘Cat People’ It’s a real testament to Bowie, the master of reinvention, that his music can be used to accompany pretty much anything and can completely elevate it; this is certainly true of Inglourious Basterds.

The WWII romp’s soundtrack features the least contemporary pop music of any of Tarantino’s films. But the use of 1982’s ‘Cat People’ as our hero, Shoshanna applies her makeup before blowing up a cinema full on Nazis still somehow manages to completely work and helps gives the pivotal scene an extra dose of glam.

1) The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – ‘Queen Bitch’ Wes Anderson’s Jacques Cousteauinspired deep-sea adventure is a real love letter to the Starman and there are plenty of his songs to pick from here (though most of which are covers performed in Portuguese by Seu Jorge). But here, Bowie is put to best use here over the films final shots as Anderson brings together the irresistibly cool union of ‘Queen Bitch’, Bill Murray and one of his signature slow motion walking shots.

Mark Holland Contributor

Books

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ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2015 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Review

Review: The Girl Who Broke The Rules If you, like me, spend a large majority of your time watching crime dramas on television, then this is definitely a book for you. I was unsure when I first read the

premise—I may have clocked up many hours watching stories like this one acted out, but I’ve never read a crime novel before. I was pleased to discover that I enjoy this

Featured Writing

Salford Crescent

by Elizabeth Gibson It’s cold and I don’t know how long I have to wait for

for that green to somehow wedge itself in my mind and never leave.

the next train that will get me where I want to be One day maybe the squirrels will come back, and I remember I used to think this station was beautiful because of all the lavender. It was wild, I think I saw squirrels once, scurrying about and vanishing into the scrub.

And the industrialism beyond that fence

one day foxgloves

maybe

there’ll

be

like in the Lakes or bees will buzz around the lavender and I’ll pass through this passing place, this ephemeral station

seemed almost part of the charm

with its new entrance, whenever they finish it

– it was a forgotten land, though people were here everyday

and I’ll remember why I loved it once.

catching their train.

The passing place.

Place of beauty.

Today

Place of peace.

it is sunny, and the sky is blue,

Where I can wait for my train

all the colours are saturated; the pine with the pigeon nested in its bows

and feel outside of time.

is a green so green you could dip a brush in and paint with it

I am here

Wherever I want to be in my life,

with one purpose: like my cat’s eyes. to wait for a train.

The pigeon flies off – it seems… inevitable. Yet while he was there it didn’t

And I’m cold but it’s beautiful here.

seem possible that he could go.

I look for the remembering it as

lavender,

foxgloves in my mind, and it’s there but the beauty isn’t.

It’s in the sun, and the colours, and the sadness that one day I’ll want to come back to here, to today, to this scene.

Yet I can do nothing to make the most of being here but look, and yearn

If you want to check out more of Elizabeth’s poetry check out her Twitter @Grizonne.

genre just as much on paper.

It’s a classic modern crime storyline; the two main characters are a hardy Scandinavian policeman, van den Bergen, and a beautiful young Ph.D. student, George. These characters are dynamic and likable, but they also feel familiar. This makes the book feel a bit formulaic.

There’s even a successful doctorturned-murderer who resides in a mental hospital, flirting with George, the heroine, holding back important clues and generally being very creepy. At one point a suspect is accused of being a Satanist, when suspicious books on the devil and witchcraft are found in his room.

At times clichés like this can feel unnecessary, however this isn’t to say that it isn’t enjoyable. Some of them provide a bit of comedy. “Uncle Giuseppe” (real name Derek, who runs the strip club where George works as a cleaner) has a run-in with some real life Mafia. Characters like these pop up so often because they make stories exciting, and it’s not less enjoyable because of this. If you are familiar with the framework, it is actually very satisfying spotting key sentences and sorting the clues from the red herrings. There is something very comforting about solving part of the mystery before the fictional police, although I doubt I would be able to do the same in real life.

The supporting cast of characters are more varied and fun, my favourites being George’s Auntie Sharon, and Derek (as well as running the club, he is also Sharon’s ex). I would have loved to hear more about the story of their relationship.

Van den Bergen’s inferiors are depicted like his three rather difficult children. They convince each other to break the rules, then predictably scurry home to tell on each other. A small piece of advice— this isn’t a book to read while you’re eating. There is a small amount of gore, but it’s only surgical. However there is frequent mentions of stomach problems, and quite a lot of vomiting.

You have to concentrate as you start the book as there’s quite a few characters, and the timeline jumps around. Once you are used to it however, the storyline is engaging and easy to follow. The chapters flow into each other, often the first sentence of one harks back to the last of the one before. One of the storylines I enjoyed in particular was the description of a girl living with her very rich but uncaring father and her abusive mother. It contrasts against the rest of the present day action, and makes you

Hope Abbott reviews the new crime novel by Manchester-born Marnie Riches. “Like Love Actually, but with murder. And prostitutes.”

keen to find out how she fits into the case.

Amsterdam is one of the main locations, but if you’re hoping for descriptions of beautiful canals and ancient houses, you might be disappointed. As a whole city it doesn’t feature widely. The action mostly takes place in the police station and the red light district.

However, this isn’t surprising; George’s area of study is the porn industry. Using the same locations makes the action easier to follow.

The subject of refugees is featured, touching on the lengths people have to go to escape horrible situations they find themselves in. Especially topical and relevant at the moment, Riches does a good job of showing how vulnerable people can be after arriving in a country they may not know anything about.

The characters of George and van den Bergen are, despite their familiarity, very sympathetic. They are two people just trying to work out what their relationship is, while at the same time doing their jobs, studying and keeping their families at bay. Van den Bergen is constantly

Photo: Hope Abbott

haunted by the memory of his dying father, and George is just recovering from an ordeal she encountered last time she visited Amsterdam.

Their genuine care for each other is very touching. Some might find their tiptoeing around and not actually doing much about how they feel about each other frustrating.

Nothing much seems to happen, despite them seemingly being in love with each other. The ending is a little too open for my liking. It isn’t happy, which is the right choice, but you are left with quite a few questions as the story closes.

All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable puzzle, with all the hallmarks of a good crime novel, as well as being genuinely thought-provoking. By the end of the book, the varied timeline, and all the entwined characters start to make sense. It turns out that person really knows that person, and was having a relationship with that person, and different characters appear in the background of other perspectives.

Like Love Actually, but with murder. And prostitutes.

25th February 7pm, owens park, fallowfield www.facebook.com/reclaimthenightmanchesteruk

Food & Drink

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ISSUE 12/ 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Feature

Humanity, Corporate Success and Fetishism in the Restaurant Industry

I believed that in the culinary world there was a truism, that it was not in the interest of anyone coveting wealth to get into the industry.

To have a financially successful restaurant is a tremendously difficult thing. Therefore, Mikhail ‘Misha’ Zelman must be doing something extremely right. With a combination of innovative ideas and deep pockets, stemming from a background in commodities exchange, he opened and ran ten steakhouses in Moscow, along with George Bukhov & David Strauss. After the success of the Goodman’s franchise, they turned their sights on London. They opened three more branches and with this acute knowledge of aged meat and an idea to make the luxurious affordable, came the group’s most successful chain: Burger and Lobster. In the 2014 calendar year the company turned over £27m, they sell 22,000 lobsters per week. Thus, I begin to doubt everything I thought I knew about restaurant economics.

Burger and Lobster has existed for five years and already boasts nine London locations with three more set to open in 2016. They have additional sights in Bath, Cardiff, Kuwait, Stockholm, New York,

Felix Sanders heads to London on a trip to see if life’s really better down where it’s wetter

cocktail crazed ritual. Then came lobster, in freshly baked brioche buns. The lobster roll may be the greatest sandwich ever conceived under the canopy of heaven. I knew it had humble beginnings as poor man’s food, but recently learned that it used to be the reserve of the Canadian prison system.

After our incredible tasters we ordered mains. The menu is stripped down, hyper-minimal and a result of Zelman’s mono-product philosophy. By having only one or two items on the menu, you never have to throw away the produce for dishes that aren’t selling, thereby keeping wastage to an absolute minimum and increasing profit margins. Both of the restaurants namesake dishes come in two formats; a classic burger, comprised of three different cuts of meat and all the relish of a post iron curtain big mac fetish. Or you can opt for the healthy version, ‘California style’ with the meat between two halves of lettuce. A nod to the omnipresent health food trend that is currently plaguing the nation. The lobster comes grilled

Following text instructions from a very helpful woman in the PR department I made my way through the crowded dining room to the back. Two large tables played host to head-chefs, general managers,

“The lobster roll may be the greatest sandwich ever conceived under the canopy of heaven. ” social media executives, marketing managers and the UK operations manager. A space was made for the ‘young-man,’ I sat and quaked in my Le Coq Sportif’s. I was a fraud, here among all these heavy hitters I sat, a lowly critic from a student newspaper.

Dubai but most importantly, Manchester. The company owns a stake in a lobster fishery in Canada where, shipments are made everyday to Heathrow to a custom built lobster holding facility. As part of a promotional event for the fledgling Manchester branch myself, along with other journalists and lobster enthusiasts, were invited to join a company trip to see said tanks and then carry on to their Soho restaurant in Dean street.

On account of the merciless employees of the Virgin Train Syndicate, and partially my own incompetence, I missed out on the tank experience and had to join the group at the restaurant. But they very kindly gave me the specifics of ph balance and salt to water ratios, removal of dead lobs and constant maintenance. All the right knowledge to put down nay sayers of lobster violence. ‘Oh the humanity’ you hear them cry, whilst eating chickens slaughtered out of sight out of mind. I used to work in a fish restaurant and had to kill lobsters by hand almost every day. I think every omnivore should be prepared to do this, know where your food comes from and be human enough to kill it.

Photos: Burger and Lobster

Before having time to plan an escape route I was inundated with cocktails adorned with sprigs of rosemary, patented sherry tonics and whipped egg whites. They were exhibiting the old cocktail menu with its new editions and I can’t pretend I wasn’t impressed. We were encouraged to slap rum bitters on ourselves like cologne in some

Vapiano VIP launch Sarah Lambert

On a typically dreary Manchester evening, the bright lights of the new Vapiano façade were a welcome sight. The last of the eateries to open in the Corn Exchange—my new favourite food haunt—the Manchester branch is the latest addition to the Vapiano family. The brand has over 160 restaurants spanning an impressive 31 countries, all serving Italian classics freshly made in house.

We eagerly accepted the invitation to the VIP Launch Party to celebrate the opening of first UK Vapiano located outside of London, and the opportunity to sample the new menu. Promised a party with DJ, magician, photo booth, and food served into the night, how could we say no? We were greeted at the door with wine and gummy bears—the night was off to a promising start.

Glasses in hand, we explored our packed venue. The atmosphere was lively, helped along by a playlist I couldn’t have compiled better myself. Red lighting and simple decor lent a contemporary vibe to the restaurant, whilst the herb pots placed on tables allowing guests to add to their dishes brought more of a homely feel.

We went on a hunt for the bar, and were rewarded with a bottle of wine and a plate of crispy bruschetta topped with tangy tomatoes marinated in garlic, olive oil, and basil, which we devoured faster than was probably appropriate in polite company.

After securing one of the few seats left on the first floor, we turned our attention to the rest of the food on offer. A small army of efficient staff were on hand to dole out Italian favourites from a number of kitchen stations. Our proximity to the open kitchen allowed us to watch as our pizza was tossed and our pasta rolled to order.

or steamed, I went for the former. It was great, exactly what I expect a lobster to taste like.

Their restaurants operate a no-reservations policy, another prolific food trend of 2015 that shows little sign of dwindling.

The restaurant market is increasing by 2-3% and 2000 new restaurant per annum. Manchester is seeing the effects of this with an ever expanding food scene, and more and more London franchises making their way up the M40. Manchester has Hawksmoor, Wahaca and now Burger and Lobster. But is the chain such a bad thing? Success is far from a dirty word in restaurant industry, and if a company is doing well why shouldn’t it expand? Or does the chain push the independent outlets off the high street, and is community making way for commodity? Either way, the Goodman Group show no sign of slowing down.

Price ££££ • Food 4/5 • Drinks 5/5 • Service 4/5 • Atmosphere 4/5 • Value 4/5

The first dish we sampled was the antipasti, a mouth-watering medley of parma ham, salami, roasted vegetables, pesto, and cheeses. The pasta dish was the next to arrive, accompanied by a fragrant basil and tomato-based sauce, topped with heaps of cheese and toasted pine nuts. Now feeling pretty full (but not quite full enough to stop eating) we were then brought a sizeable pizza to share. We opted for margherita; rich and cheesy, but we agreed that it would have benefitted from a crisper base. Saving the best until last, our lovely waiter Gianmaria appeared with a selection of desserts. The panna cotta was creamy with a delicate vanilla flavour, complemented by the sharp strawberry coulis topping.

Overall, we had a highly enjoyable evening with delicious food, speedy service and wine on tap. I will certainly be returning to sample more of what the new menu has to offer. The hangover was most definitely worth it, although I am slightly disappointed that we couldn’t find the magician.

Vapiano is now open and is even serving number of dishes to help people stay healthy and stick to their fitness New Years resolutions this January. The Strawberry Spinach Salad is made with fresh spinach, strawberries, goat’s cheese, red onions, pine nuts and homemade raspberry maple dressing and is truly delicious! Or, if you need a bit of protein in your diet, the Reef ‘n’ Beef Salad boasts grilled fillet of beef and king prawns with grilled vegetables, cherry tomatoes, spring onions, mixed leaves and Grana Padano D.O.P. Maybe a change from a salad is what you’re looking for? If so, there’s a range of homemade, egg-free pasta to keep you satisfied including the Pomodoro Fresco E Basilico with fresh cherry tomatoes, onions and fresh whole leaf basil.

Price: ££££ Food: 4/5 Drinks: 5/5 Service: 5/5 Atmosphere: 5/5 Value: 4/5 Unit 13, The Corn Exchange Manchester M4 3TR

The Mancunion: Food and Drink @MancunionFood food@mancunion.com Photo: Vapiano

Food & Drink 23

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM Review

McBrilliant Kudos to Nudo Food Editor Ellie Gibbs reviews an old classic to keep things in check

As a vegetarian/mostly vegan, one can only imagine how hard it can be to find a decent takeaway at the end of the night. Sure, there’s chips in naan, salad in naan, naan in naan. But where’s the healthy option?

It was one such Friday evening, post-beer festival, and post-lash for the majority of my comrades who had not been on ‘dry January’, that we happened across the famous golden arches, the big M, Mekki, Donken, Makudo, Pat Panepinto Mart, Macca’s, Rotten Ronnie Oddo’s: McDonald’s.

Reluctantly I followed the crowd in, only on the premise that we’d be sharing a taxi back to the same area (and it’s safer not to walk home alone, kids). I stood alongside the queuing line, already resigned to the idea of vegan cake, peppermint tea and a bedroom boogie in the comfort of my own home.

We sat down, cardboard packages were unfurled, chips, buns, and paper pots of sauce adorned the hard clean plastic of the robust tables. I must admit, the atmosphere was incredible.

The midnight sky shone in through the windows as we sat in the industrial lighting that accentuated the bold red and yellow colour scheme, giving a sense of urgency and demand to our dining experience. Hot salt fumes and a feeling of surrender filled the air. Just being there was an oxymoron; a victorious defeat.

I checked with my friend, what she order? Fish filet. Another had a quarter pound-

Eva Katz tastes the sushi sensations Nudo has to offer

Astonishingly reasonable prices are the wasabi on the California roll here. But there’s a catch; the usual Japanese adornments one would expect to find within reach on their table come at a price. You do of course, get a small sample of soy and wasabi in your Nudo box, but for those who enjoy the Airwaves-like sensation of wasabi to be mellowed by the sweet and sour tang of pick-

Photo:Nudo Sushi

led ginger, there will be a charge for the privilege. In consideration of the deliciously low price tag on the sushi boxes themselves, one really cannot complain; after all, good sushi is not the cheapest lunchtime treat.

Fast food is the game in this restaurant and, as such, the setting is a little cold and oddly unwelcoming to those who might wish to eat in. For those who wish to grab and go, the service is quick and efficient and the place has the air of sophistication and cleanliness that instils a sense of confidence into the quality of your meal; though the cool blue interior is not the place you want to stay in for a leisurely green tea for hours on end.

That’s not to say, however, that the sushi is anything less than flavourful morsels of seafood and rice combos. Cool, fresh fish on a base of sticky white rice, the nigiri hit the spot. What’s more, their combinations are endless, ranging from vegetarian to swordfish for the more experienced. Alternatives such as the King Prawn Miso Soup Ramen are plentiful, and considerably filling for their rather unobtrusive price.

For food on the go, Nudo is a fresh Eastern alternative, good enough to tear you away from that dull sandwich lingering in your lunchbox. But for those who wish to enjoy their sushi at leisure, take out is recommended to allow you ample opportunity to appreciate good sushi in comfort.

Henry Scanlan Music Editor

The pizzas aren’t spectacular, but Croma’s bubbling atmosphere and authentic looks give it a little something extra

Photo: The Mancunion

er, a royale with cheese. For me, nothing to resist. My appetite for meat has long vanquished into the past of June 2015.

My companion reciprocated the question, and as if brainwashed, or dazzled by the proceedings so far, I finally noticed that I did indeed have my own bag of afterevening food. Opening the package, my confusion as to its uniquely orange colouring washed away as I discovered what was inside.

Moist, salty grilled artichokes drenched in olive oil filled a transparent plastic pot with vegan delight. Another container made home to a puddle of processed chickpeas and tahini: the lovingly-named ‘McHummus’.

We celebrated the utter thrill of fusion food as limp strings of sodium potato soaked up the remains of the Arabian spread. With flavour unsurpassable, the iconic presentation somehow elevated the taste buds to that psychological state of brand-name worship.

Though I fear that what we had on that magical night may only be the works of the supernatural, there’s no doubt that, artichokes aside, there is something for everyone at the red and yellow food factory.

Croma, now entering its 16th year, is in good company as one of many pizzerias in Manchester, but it has staying power, and upon entrance it’s instantly easy to see why. The airy, highceilinged structure gives it an authentic feel, and the decision to leave the stereo on standby allows the soft murmur of voices and clinking of wine glasses to provide the ambiance, creating that lovely atmosphere in which even the conversation from your neighbouring table is absorbed into a cloud of combined hubbub. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the coffered ceiling, or the spacing of the tables, or the wooden flooring, but the acoustics of this place are bang on. It might go without saying at this point, but I’ll say it anyway: I usually write for the music section.

For starters, I went for some incredibly moreish garlic prawns, while my friend went for Melanzana Parmigiana, which consisted of sliced aubergine delicately topped with pine kernels, chopped tomato and at least three different types of cheese. As is so often the case, the innovative little starters managed to outshine the headline act that was still to come. I do love an underdog story.

For mains, we were given the option of a few pastas, but then I remembered what my father used to tell me when my mother was out of town: “It’s pizza or nothing.” The half ’n’ half offer— which allows you to order together the halves of two different pizzas—was a nice touch, providing the opportunity to get experimental and bypass the culinary rulebook. The esteemed chef would no doubt have been horrified to receive my order: A delicate combination of the spinach and cherry tomato

Help the homeless with a cupcake St Mungo’s Broadway vision is that everyone has a place to call home and can fulfill their hopes and ambitions. They provide beds and support to more than 2,500 people a night who are either homeless or at risk, and work to prevent homelessness, helping about 25,000 people a year. They support men and women through more than 250 projects including emergency, hostel and supportive housing projects, advice services, specialist physical health, mental health and skills and work services.

Orange Cup cakes (16-20 cup cakes) Ingredients 200g self raising flour 115g caster sugar 110g softened butter 2 eggs 2 tsps baking powder 1/2 tsp salt

Photos: St.Mungo’s Broadway

110ml orange juice

‘Bufala’ pizza fused with the ‘Tandoori Chicken’ option for an ingenious ‘Tangala’/’Bufdoori’ reinterpretation, with Italian and Indian cuisine peacefully coexisting on the same plate.

A more refined customer might have found it all a bit too ‘Personalised Dominos’, an initiative that can result in some truly hideous Frankenstein-like pizza creations, but I’m yet to reach the point in life at which that sort of thing becomes annoying.

I believe there’s an old saying that goes something like, “pizza is like sex: Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” I stand by that. Croma’s pizzas weren’t extraordinary—my friend’s ‘Funghi de Bosco’ was a fairly bland mushroom creation, and the base was slightly dry on both of our orders—but they were still pretty damn good.

I don’t feel qualified to comment on the service, because I blew my cover as a reviewer fairly early on when the waiter saw me writing “friendly service” on my notepad just after he’d taken our drinks order (though he probably thought I was writing “shit service”). The service was friendly, but that might have only been because the staff knew that I had the power to single-handedly put Croma out of business with my Mancunion write up. Then again, they weren’t exactly spitting on the other customers, and besides, I think they assumed I was only writing for The Guardian.

1-3 Clarence Street, Manchester, M2 4DE

St. Mungo’s charity provides a recipe to raise money for homeless. Sell these cakes to friends & family, donate online or text WOOL06 £3 to 70070

Icing 300g softened butter 700g icing sugar 2 tbsp orange juice 100g orange fondant icing Method Preheat oven to 180c / 350F / Gas mark 4. Line a cupcake baking tray with paper liners.Place butter, egg yolks, sugar and vanilla in a large bowl and mix well until creamy.

In another bowl add the baking powder, salt and flower and stir together. Slowly add the ingredients into the creamed egg yolk mixture, alternating with a little orange juice each time until all the ingredients are combined.

Beat the egg whites and fold carefully into the mixture.

Spoon the mixture into the cup cake liners, up to about 2/3 full.Place

in the oven and bake for around 15-20 minutes.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool. Transfer onto a cooling rack to cool completely.

Place butter, orange juice and icing sugar into a bowl and cream together until light and fluffy.

If mixture is too stiff add a little more orange juice.

Pipe onto the cupcakes.

Use orange fondant icing to shape into a woolly hat and place on top of butter icing.

(Roll a large sphere and cut into half. Roll a small sphere and spike with a cocktail stick to give woolly effect, place on top of cut sphere.

Roll fondant icing out and cut a strip to wrap around bottom of cut sphere) Enjoy and don’t forget to donate by texting WOOL06 to 70070 or by going online at: www.mungosbroadway.org.uk

Theatre 25

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Review

Review: The Nutcracker Scintillating costumes, flexed feet, and moments of questionable

Review

Review: Wit

timing! Reporter Georgina Gledhill examines The Moscow City Bal- Wit at the Royal Exchange Theatre, featuring Julie Hesmondhalgh, is let’s The Nutcracker with a keen eye... an intensely emotional but also sharply funny story of a dying of the enchanted as well as a forest occupied by the Georgina Gledhill academic’s attempts to come to terms with her mortality aspects of mystery, leaving corps de ballet ‘flower Reviewer

A somewhat out-ofseason performance of The Nutcracker from the Moscow City Ballet seemed like the ideal remedy for the Post-Christmas blues and the long plight promised by the famously tedious month, January. I have been enchanted by ballets from being old enough to point my toes, and have thus obsessed over countless TV performances, perhaps earning me the status of an ‘amateur expert’, if you like.

Having never been fortunate enough to experience this Christmas classic live, it was an exciting prospect being swept into Clara’s whimsical world, especially by a Ballet Company from the homeland of the elegant practice: Russia.

The infamous ballet The Nutcracker began as ‘The Nutcracker and the King of Mice’, a book by E.T.A. Hoffmann, but is perhaps more famously known for its adaptation into the highenergy, yet precise ballet, which features agile jetés and complicated pas de deux sequences that should resemble a piece of art for all present to admire. This particular modern rendition of The Nutcracker features in the Company’s 25th Anniversary tour (which also includes renowned masterpieces such as ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and ‘Swan Lake’); but for those slightly less familiar with the plot than we self-confessed ballet geeks, The Nutcracker is the tale of a young German girl, Clara Stahlbaum, who receives a Nutcracker as a Christmas present.

However, during Christmas Eve night, her Nutcracker doll springs to life and engages in a fierce battle against the Mouse King with seven heads. The ethereal plot allows for the ballet to weave in elements

the audience in awe of the prodigious dancers.

After the tense atmosphere peaked to a crescendo, the ballet opened with a vibrant party scene, where the stage was crammed with dancers, perhaps leaving room for errors in timing, and resulting in the appearance of a disordered and cluttered misen-scene.

However, the audience’s attention was diverted to some extent by the meticulously hand-painted set that framed the stage, which indeed did capture the essence of the Christmas theme. The stage’s centre piece (a colossal, decorated tree), which dominated the stage, appeared to make the dancers look unimaginably small, compromising their athleticism. Likewise, the protracted onstage festivities resulted in a loss of the exuberant atmosphere and was dulled further by the audience witnessing flexed feet within dances that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a musical theatre production.

It seemed that the first act was lacklustre in the grand nature of ballet, and it felt as if a tangible pang of disappointment was present within not only me, but what felt like the whole of the auditorium.

Despite this, the memorable saviour of the first act was Talgat Kozhabaev—The Nutcracker, who exerted great strength and finesse, making fouetté turns appear utterly natural and landing grand jetés as quietly as you’d like.

Yet Kozhabev also possessed the ability to become remarkably stoic, in true doll form, switching between fluid movement and mechanical marches seamlessly.

After the short interval, the second act opened in

fairies’, who were adorning wonderfully intricate tutus and were placed delicately in lines along the wings.

The pastel pink-coloured costumes complemented the scenery pleasantly, as well as highlighting Clara in her first solo. During this, Anna Ivanova (Clara) seemed like a changed ballerina, exerting pure elegance and inspiring the now mesmerized audience.

Clara’s dream continued into the haunting sphere of the Mouse King, where the live orchestra embodied the mood of danger and anticipation flawlessly, echoing Tchaikovsky’s beloved and charming score, which matched the sharp, contracted movements of the Mouse King’s loyal rodent companions.

Again, the stage was saturated with the chorus dancers; however, this time the choreographic decision accentuated the overwhelmingly tense nature of the scene by awakening a sense of sheer horror within Clara. Once the heroic Nutcracker had defeated the Mouse King and rescued his Clara, we were escorted around the world in the form of short but exceedingly amusing trios.

A particular favourite was the passionate, crimson clad dancers representing España!

Once the lively excitement had drawn to a close, Clara was transported from her dream world in the arms of her cherished Nutcracker and was laid down before the Christmas tree once more, where reality resumed, much to the audience’s dismay.

Upon bows, we were treated to a display of the coruscating costumes for one final time, before the magic of The Nutcracker was sealed away for another night.

Editor’s Picks

What’s on this week?

Tuesday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM CATS – Opera House, 7:30PM Shrek the Musical – Lowry Theatre, 7PM Wednesday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 2:30Pm & 7:30PM CATS – Opera House, 7:30PM Shrek the Musical – Lowry Theatre, 2PM & 7PM

Photo: garryknight @Flickr

A few picks throughout the week in Manchester

Thursday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 2:30PM & 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM CATS – Opera House, 2:30PM & 7:30PM Shrek the Musical – Lowry Theatre, 7PM

Saturday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 2:30PM & 7:30PM CATS – Opera House, 2:30PM & 7:30PM Shrek the Musical – Lowry Theatre, 2PM & 7PM

Friday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM CATS – Opera House, 7:30PM Shrek the Musical – Lowry Theatre, 7PM

Sunday Wit – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7:30PM Mary Poppins – Palace Theatre, 2:00PM

Charlie Spargo Editor-in-chief

“It is not my intention to give away the plot, but I think I die at the end.”

Julie Hesmondhalgh plays Dr. Vivian Bearing, a stern and independent Professor of 17th century literature, who is diagnosed with stage IV metastatic ovarian cancer.

“There is no stage V.” Wit covers, in a single unbroken act, her last days, hours, and minutes as she comes to terms with her mortality and observes the comparative differences of art and science—highlighting the contrast between the subject she is a doctor of and that of the doctors who treat her.

Among this darkness is a lot of comedy. Wit is comic, and you find yourself laughing during some of the most emotional scenes, often due to Hesmondhalgh’s perfectly placed dry delivery, maintaining her attitude that years of dealing with those less intelligent than herself have taught her almost to the end. Margaret Edson’s Pullitzer-winning script as well somehow manages to convey the indignity of her suffering with the respect it deserves, whilst injecting enough, well,

wit, to a subject that rarely makes one laugh.

H e s m o n d h a l g h ’ s performance is truly stunning—head shaven and feet bare, Julie flawlessly pitches the character between vulnerability and bravado, spending the whole play’s 100 minutes on the barren, circular stage, performing in the round with the audience watching her from all angle— meaning that she had to move continuously, helped only a little by a rotating stage and clever lighting.

Dr. Bearing’s specialty is metaphysical poetry— particularly that of the poet John Donne—that which addresses some of the largest questions humans have conceived: life, death, and God. Even at the end of her life, however, she realises that all the poetry in the world can neither save her nor make her passing dignified. At the same time, the brute force of science and medicine is no more successful, putting her through more pain than she has ever been before, as her doctors subject her to eight weeks of full-dose chemotherapy. She feels like she is more research than a patient to be saved.

In the end, it is neither her

life-defining literature nor lifesaving chemicals that win out, but compassion, that of the kind nurse who sits with Bearing while she screams in pain, dignity finally gone, gives her an ice lolly, and talks through the choices available to each patient if their heart stops—resuscitate and continue the research, or pass on to be peaceful. You also witness her only visitor, her old draconian literature professor, sit with Vivian and read her a children’s book, just like those she loved aged 5.

In short, Wit was perfect, a play of contradictions capturing completely the fear and indignity that are the results of cancer, whilst also making all present smile and laugh and sympathise with all the characters. They truly deserved the standing ovation they received at the end of the performance.

You will be able to see Margaret Edson’s Wit at the Royal Exchange Theatre until the 13th of February.

To watch the trailer please visit: bit.ly/1KfkpeM

Review

Review: The Girls

Hannah Foy Theatre Contributor The Girls, a new musical inspired by Calendar Girls, held its world première at The Lowry this week. Having seen the West End production a fair few years ago, I was intrigued to see how a new take on the same story would be unleashed. I was pleasantly surprised. The music added a new dimension to the tale; it allowed the characters to express their thoughts and feelings in a deeper sense than words alone could convey. It encapsulated the humour and sadness the story managed to conquer, holding and carrying it through the music.

Being a Yorkshire girl across the roses border, The Girls made me feel very patriotic towards my county—the introductory number “Yorkshire” shouting proudly of the dales and fells I call home. It shows the relationship people have with their home, the pride to be a part of the community, and the desire to belong. It is, after all, community spirit alone that triumphs in this story, the daring to stand together, and it’s surprising just what can come of it.

There were the expected sad, delicate numbers that deal with loss, grief and sometimes the denial of death, beautifully

written and projected to the audience. Yet alongside great sadness comes great joy. The humour brought by Claire Moor as Chris, whipping her bra off on the fell, and the humiliation by our parents that every teenager goes through is conveyed expertly by the young actors playing Danny, Tommo and Jenny.

The calendar shoot is played brilliantly by all of ‘The Girls’— it was done in elegance, amusement and humour. Yet best of all, I felt the audience were laughing with the nervous characters on stage, impressed and amazed by the bravery the actors put on show. It was tasteful, it was funny, and it entertained the whole audience.

Everything from the stage set, the music, to the actors was brilliant; it deepened my current understanding of The Calendar

Girls story, and proves the bravery and determination of one group of ruthless WI girls. It’s an incredible true story, which only heightens the pressure and exposure of the show, a musical that brings more to life then music and words, a story to be shared.

The Girls deserved its standing ovation; make sure to catch this show while you still can.

The final showing of The Girls is on Saturday the 30th of

Gary Barlow, Tim Firth and the Calendar Girls.

Photo: John Swannell

26

Lifestyle

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

House Hunting

Considering some of the logistics of looking for a new student house Alice Williams DeputyLifestyle Editor Whether finding a house for the first time in second year, moving in with a different set of people from third year or choosing somewhere for a 4th year or MA, students are often so panicked they end up choosing the first house they encounter without mould and a dodgy landlord. While leaving it until the last minute can make it tempting to move into the first place you find, it’s worth considering a few things that you otherwise wouldn’t that can have a greater impact on your living environment than you would think.

In an attempt to avoid arguments or brewing resentment, most people find that the best way to decide on who gets which room is drawing straws – but sometimes it can work out

better to have a discussion about which rooms will suit different people. For instance, if there’s one small room that no-one wants and someone who is in a serious enough relationship that they’re not likely to be sleeping in their own bed every night, it might be worth them taking this into consideration and one of them taking a not-so-good room that they won’t be sleeping in. If you’re living with more than 4 people, then it’s likely that someone will have to have a downstairs room. Not everyone loves having the room that’s next to the living room or kitchen as, if they are the type that go to bed early or don’t go out much, they can be kept awake by other people in the house so maybe a night owl is best for this room.

If you are going to be living in a house with lots of people, then you should also take a good look at the communal

areas. Taking into account personalities, sometimes people need to be coaxed out of their rooms and communal areas where you can socialize are perfect for this. A combined kitchen and living room might seem like you’re getting less space at first, but it could work out better when you can cook your dinner and talk to your housemates at the same time as they watch TV. If you end up living in a big house with lots of people then you should consider that you’ll have to communicate well with each other about who is and isn’t in to avoid the last person out in the morning leaving the bathroom window wide open, thinking that there’s still people in.

Living in a bigger house can also seem more like halls at times. Letting agents have segmented the houses out in such a way as to fit as many rooms in as possible and this can lead

to gloomy corridors with lots of individually locked doors.

However, this is great if you like time on your own and, on the flip side, living in such a small house that you can hear everything through the walls can drive some people crazy.

While these are things to keep in mind, don’t be the person making crazily unreasonable demands when looking round houses. Decide whether you’re more bothered about how big your room is or if you’d rather have a nicer communal area beforehand and chat to the people that you’re living with as well and all come to a reasonable conclusion.

Really, you should be more bothered about the people that you’re living with than the house but your living experience can be even better if you’re in a house best suited to everyone living there.

Photo: Joana Coccarelli @Flickr

The Pangaea Recovery Guide There’s always a comedown of sorts from Panagaea, from the vibrant transformation of our dreary university, to the lack of constant euphoria. But starting the New Year, still mourning the end of the university’s finest festival is frankly not ideal.

Get up Although your body and mind may be in a state of fatigue, emerging from your stinky bedroom is advisable. Honestly, there’s only so much mindless tel-

evision you can watch until your brain just doesn’t comprehend it anymore.

Go for a walk The gym may not be a good idea, unless you consider staring at a weight stack—wondering what it was you intended to do with them for about half an hour into your so-called exercise. A walk, on the other hand, is far more manageable—wrap up warm and take in the fresh winter air.

Watch a childhood classic Whether you’re a Disney lover, a Harry Potter fan or even a Lord Of The Rings buff. Let’s face it, these fictional worlds are often a fine alternative to the harsh reality of the day after.

Get social Wallowing alone in self pity is never a good idea.

The joy of having housemates are the hungover recollections of the night before in the most comfort-

Pursuing a healthier version of yourself this year?

Founder of Student Shred and all-round fitness and nutrition expert, Tom Burns reveals the secrets behind getting rid of your Christmas belly...

Evangeline Katz Head Lifestyle Editor Provided that you’ve been making the most of home cooking, free alcohol and a lengthy distance between you and your uni gym, you’ll probably be embarking second semester with a little poor cushion for the pushin’.

But never fear, Student Shred is here.

Set up by a student for students, the company’s founder Tom Burns understands the strains and struggles that student life puts on the body and caters this first-hand knowledge into amazing advice for his clients, and for you lucky readers.

Let’s not kid ourselves, a run in the freezing Manchester rain isn’t an overly appetizing thought. So you’ll be relishing at the news from Tom that cardio really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Instead, he recommends weight and resistance training. For women, this may seem a little daunting, especially to those who’d rather not emerge from the gym resembling Arnold Schwarzenegger, but Tom asserts that muscle training is actually the key to achieving the curves and shape that so many strive to achieve. However, Tom is also a big advocate of the more

unusual forms of cardiovascular exercise. Take sex, for example. Apart from feeling pretty darn good, Tom asserts that it will not only “lower stress” and “increase confidence”, but your sex drive will also increase and thus, your performance, too. Not to mention the increased flexibility...

For those who want to burn fat, Tom asserts that “nutrition accounts for 80% and training 20%”. No matter how much you train, if you’re eating badly you’re unlikely to achieve the chiselled body you desire. So if you’re a student who has chosen not to add cooking to your list of life skills, then this could be a bit of a wake up call. Tom is big on cooking and counts it as an essential part of achieving optimum fitness on a student budget. To those with untrained taste buds, many super foods may seem like tasteless, vile and expensive things unlikely to grace your store cupboard in the near future.

But with the right knowledge, Tom asserts that eating healthy doesn’t have to break the bank and can taste good, too. There’s no need to completely sacrifice those post-exam booze binges and cheeky Chicken King meal deals.

Tom admits that “your favourite wine or alcohol may not be the right choice”

but advises spirits with non-carbonated drinks as a healthier alternative.

For combating a hangover, he recommends consuming a nutritious meal prior to your night out and regularly drinking water in between drinks.

There is a popular belief that carbs are bad. But in reality, they’ve just been given a bad name by a select few. They’re essential to maintaining healthy energy levels, especially if you’re exercising regularly. But which carbs are good and which ones are not?! Well, that all depends on their glucose levels. The glycemic index categorises carbs in the order of how fast they release glucose into the blood.

High glycemic foods such as bread, sugar, honey and chocolate (and basically every other food that’s too tasty to be good for you) are BAD. Not so bad for you are the foods belonging to the medium category: pasta, white rice, fruit and potatoes. The best of the bunch however are the low glycemic foods which include: nuts, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, sweet potatoes, vegetables and oats.

So now you know what to eat and how to train, but fat loss isn’t solely dependant on food and training—particularly if you’re female. Sleep, hormonal

cycles, stretching and motivation are all major factors. So sleepless nights from either partying, last minute revision or essay prep could be more damaging than you thought. The trick is to get into a routine. But don’t be too hard on yourself— as with all things in life, it’s all about balance. A social life is also of great importance, but it’s not all about big nights out and sharing a Domino’s pizza. Try and integrate your new active lifestyle into your social life—go cycling, walking, or join a class with a friend. Ultimately, there’s no need for a triad of unattainable New Year’s resolutions, but instead, a single aim to pursue a healthier version of yourself this year.

If however, you’re in need of a little extra inspiration, then why not try out Student Shred? Tom offers nutrition and exercise programmes catered around student living’s needs and expectations, as well as budget!

able room in the house.

Eat up Although your stomach may be oddly silent for once, don’t be fooled—food is still needed for you to get through this already difficult day.

Make it fruity A natural sugar high and some vitamins will give you the boost you need to wash off any stubborn face paint.

Photo: miamifitnesstv@Flickr

Photo: bertholf @Flickr

For more information, contact Tom Burns on: contact@studentshredco-uk.com, or visit his website: www. studentshred-co-uk.com

Photo: songzhen@Flickr

Lifestyle 27

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Overheard University of Manchester “It’s so sexist that the female dog dies first and the male dog is like rawwwrrrr rawwwwwrrrr!!!”

- Overheard in Didsbury “Don’t feel sorry for fictional characters, they’ve all got better lives than you.”

- Overheard in Fallowfield “I’m very excited to go home and empty my bowels.”

- Overheard on a 142 “I always thought Trevor MacDonald looks great.”

- Overheard in Fallowfield Sainsburys

“Only dogs can judge me.”

- Overheard in Withington “I bit it off and put it in my mouth. It was filled with pus.”

- Overheard on a 143

Another New Year, Another New You

Photo: Fingerpaint PR @Flickr

Louisa Hall asks the crucial question: “Why do these changes never stick?”

In a very reliable survey (of roughly 5 house mates, 2 overheard conversations and a 5 minute Skype chat with granny about “Perfect” Cousin Sophie), as many as 10 different New Year’s resolutions were vowed upon with great sincerity and a painful repetition of “...and I’m NOT going to give up this time…”

Without needing any professional training in telepathy, it is clear to us all that by the dull days of mid-February, all resolutions will have been deserted (apart from those of Perfect Cousin Sophie who will continue juicing spinach and kale until at least Easter). C’mon, people! We need to be realistic with our plans.

Dieting: After the gluttony of Christmas, it is nearly impossible to go completely cold turkey (pun absolutely intended) on all of the rubbish you have been eating. To switch from 4 meals and 27 snacks per day for a month (“because it’s Christmas”) to half an apple and a shot of kiwi pulp per day in January just isn’t realistic. In colder months, we need

warm and filling food to stay and feel healthy—a more sustainable resolution might have been ‘only 2 squares of chocolate a day’ or ‘3 pieces of fruit for lunch’. At university, especially, we give up easily on expensive eating habits; so a dairy-free, fat-free, fun-free diet is simply not sustainable. Yes, continue making those smoothies with the Food Musher 2000 that you got for Christmas, but forcing it upon yourself at every meal is eventually going to have the opposite effect.

Exercising: Don’t be a New-Year Gym cliché. I beg of you, either pay-as-you-go for a few weeks or wait until you know your timetable and can work out the feasibility of going to the gym ‘every day at 6am after my morning marathon’. Exercise is great, but trying to force yourself into a strict regime by investing a harsh chunk of the student loan into memberships and gym kit galore is bound to tempt fate.

Productivity: “I’m going to go to all of my lectures this year AND do the compulsory reading”… this is all well and good, but just because you are in the lecture or you have opened the PDF, it isn’t automatically more worthwhile! Sitting in a lecture and boosting your Yakarma, or investing in 7 shades of pink highlighter to skim read and mark a few words that take your fancy, is not what you had in mind. Motivate yourself - “a Haribo for every paragraph I read and take notes from”, “if I explain this lecture back to Course Buddy correctly I’ll go on a night out of my choice, if I get it wrong … Fifth Av”.

The message here isn’t to abandon the pledging of New Year’s resolutions, but merely to keep them within reach and reason. Go outside at least once a day; cook a healthy, hearty dinner at least three times a week and invest some serious motivation into your work. Think properly about your plans before announcing them to everyone that will listen (or overhear), and don’t get too carried away in the falsely optimistic young days of January.

Tough choices: “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Jessica Chow-Lau Contributor

“I’m going to be needing a whole lot of vegetable oil tonight.”

- Overheard in Didsbury

“I was like, ‘oh wow, I didn’t know sex swings had frames.

I thought you just hung them from your curtain rail or something.”

- Overheard in Withington

Ask Us

One of adulthood’s most painful realisations is the magnitude of when your decisions affect the people around you. The same person whose previous adjudications were limited to soup or salad now has the influencing power to make someone’s day, to reciprocate the love of an interested mate—or to cause someone to spiral into a most dreadful place. Of course our adolescent actions hold some weight, but as people take on inevitable obligations, the duty of making the best decision becomes concentrated to the atomised self. No more dilution of responsibility. Sometimes the question emerges: what if both choices yield unfavourable outcomes? A loselose situation, whatever action one takes leading to a confused sadness on the receiving end. A multitude of philosophies and religions could be brought up, all prescribing slightly different medications for the agony of bringing something less of happiness to someone. But they all (roughly) fall under similar lines of thinking.

Weigh the decisions to what values you hold dear—your interpretation of truth, friendship, serendipity. In

?! ?!

My parents are getting a divorce and people seem to think that I’d find it easier since I don’t live at home anymore, but I’m really struggling and it’s affecting my uni work. I feel like things are harder to deal with when you don’t know for sure that you have that solid family unit back at home.

Photo: alpoma@Flickr

a scenario where you have to hurt a friend with honesty, or have them discover for themselves that their partner is being unfaithful—take the road depending on how you define truth. Absolute truth: tell them yourself. Conditional truth: let the partner tell them. The only wrong answer is not owning up to what you do and not take the responsibility for the lives that you’ve affected. Standing idly by while an exterior forces make your decision—that’s the worst you can do. Feigned comfort aside, there

is no suggestion to put on a smiling face. You’re not supposed to feel confident (if you do, you are years ahead of me). But, there is a certain solace to be found in knowing that there’s nothing else you can do. When the waves are overhead, you would have done everything you could to prevent the tragedy. And when the time comes and when the storm has settled to conditions where you can once again enjoy the outdoors—apologise. If it is truly a fault that came from you, say sorry for yourself. If you were the bearer of

bad news, say sorry for the universe.

Rebuild what was destroyed in the storm by acknowledging their pain by showing the pain it caused you, too.

This is my apology. It won’t feel like it, but whichever road one chooses to go down will be the right one. Those familiar with Robert Frost’s poem The Road Not Taken will know that it’s usually seen as a panegyric method of self-assurance (“And that has made all the difference”). But if one is to examine the words in between the first and last famous lines, you’ll see that the two roads “equally lay” and both were worn “really about the same”.

When presented with a fork in the road, we will only tell ourselves that our decisions have made “all the difference” because our guilt assumes that our reality—and their reality—is the direct product of that choice. Dear reader, this is not the case. Yes you are hurt, and worst yet: you have hurt. But we know no other life. Dwell as you may, but there is no use in wishing for another truth. There is no comparison to another better outcome, only the one that the guilt has imagined.

You lose sleep, you cannot bear eating—or perhaps worse. These are all okay. Just remember to keep walking down that road. Look back, but only do that to see what is ahead.

These things are often very hard to deal with away from home, especially when people have less sympathy for students who are considered to be adults and are about to begin to having a more stable and independent life of their own. One of the most important things to do is let your academic advisor, This will take a bit of the pressure off of you academically, and allow you to have less things to worry about. Secondly, make sure that you talk to your friends about it and make them aware of how it’s affecting you. You will often find that close friends, while not replacing them in the same way, can create something similar to a family unit and ultimately make you feel more secure in your university life. If this doesn’t help, there are university councillors specially trained to deal with these kinds of problems, and will offer any support that you can’t otherwise find.

M A 3 M P 9 ME I T M R E T N I T H G I N Y EVER

T R E B L I G N A L A M O S R F N O M M O C G N I N R LEA

4 2 T S O C S Y E N R U JO OOR

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TS WHO N E D U T S G PPORTIN VIOLENCE U S S E C I V TO SER L OR DOMESTIC O G S D E E C ALL PRO PERIENCED SEXUA S HAVE EX N.COM/BU

IO N U S T N E D TU S R E T S E H MANC

“Here at the Students’ Union, everything we do is for students, by students. Sounds like a cliché, right? Think about it.

Until the 19th Feb

Ever been to Pangaea? Joined a society? Needed advice on an academic, financial or wellbeing issue? Or simply eaten a delicious burger down in our bar?

All of these amazing facilities and events are provided with the direction of our elected Exec Team, who work full-time to implement your ideas, run campaigns, support student-led activities and ensure your voice is heard by the University.

manchesterstudentsunion.com/elections

30

Sport

ISSUE 12 / 1st FEBRUARY 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Photo: Mirsasha@Flickr

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Photo: World Economics Forum @Flickr

Governing Bodies Behaving Badly James Haughton Sport Reporter

On the first day of the 2016 Australian Open, the first Grand Slam event of the season, the thoughts of the tennis world were dominated not by on-court matters, but by off-court ones instead. This was because BuzzFeed News and the BBC unveiled evidence they had received alleging that match-fixing in tennis is prevalent and is not being investigated properly. Sixteen players who were at one point ranked in the world’s top fifty—including one Grand Slam champion—were named as potential match fixers.

In the past, abnormal betting patterns, involving bets totalling to hundreds of thousands, and even up to millions of pounds were placed on the results of tennis matches, have been detected. A famous example occurred in 2007, when Martin Vassallo Arguello beat the highly ranked Nikolay Davydenko, who retired hurt in the third set, after losing the first set 6-2. More than $7 million was bet on the match, and Betfair even refused to pay out on wagers and reported the match to the authorities.

An investigation into the match was commissioned by The Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) after the match, but neither Davydenko nor Vassallo Arguello were ever charged with matchfixing. The investigation grew beyond just the Davydenko versus Vassallo Arguello match. Leading to the creation of a Tennis Integrity Unit (TIU), who now investigate reports of match-fixing, and identifying 28 players who were involved in suspicious matches, and as a result were to be investigated. The following year, a new anti-corruption code was introduced by the tennis authorities, but they could not retrospectively charge players with breaching this code. According to the BBC and Buzzfeed News, the TIU was informed again about suspicious betting patterns on matches involving approximately one third of the players named on the report, yet no further was taken.

This apparent lack of action by the authorities has been scrutinised extensively, and so too has the lack of transparency in which these organisations operate. The TIU only publicly comment on their investigations to announce the outcome of an investigation that results in disciplinary action being taken. Anti-corruption expert, and member of the

panel examining match-fixing in 2007, Ben Gunn stated: “The transparency of the Tennis Integrity Unit leaves something to be desired... It’s difficult to gauge how successful they are because we don’t know what they’re doing.”

Tennis is certainly not the first sport in which governing bodies are alleged to have acted improperly. Take the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) for example. The findings of the second part of a commissioned World Anti Doping Agency (WADA) report into doping in athletics were announced at a press conference in Berlin. The first part of the report described the state sponsored doping programme in Russia; but the second part examined potential corruption in the IAAF and to what extent it had known about, and covered up, Russia’s systematic doping.

The report was damning. It found that the IAAF Council, of which elected President Lord Sebastian Coe has been a member since 2013, must have been aware of Russia’s activities. The report states: “The corruption was embedded in the organisation. It cannot be ignored or dismissed as attributed to the odd renegade acting on his own.” According to the report, Lamine Diack—Coe’s predecessor as IAAF’s president—was able to renew sponsorship deals of his own accord, and when confronted by Huw Roberts—the IAAF’s legal chief, about Russia’s systematic doping, Diack is alleged to have said that he would resolve the problem by speaking to Vladimir Putin personally. Papa Massata Diack, Lamine’s son, was found to have asked Qatar, who will host the 2019 Athletics World Championships, for $5 million while working for the IAAF. While what remains of the IAAF’s credibility was trodden upon by the report commissioned by WADA, Coe’s beleaguered tenure as president was strengthened, at least temporarily, by the press conference, during which commission head Dick Pound supported Lord Coe and backed him to reform the IAAF. Pound went on to absolve Coe of criticism that he should have been more alert to the Russian doping scandal, saying that: “I don’t want to lay the failures of an entire council at the feet of one individual.”

Despite this show of support, Lord Coe has been embroiled in controversy ever since taking over the IAAF presidency in 2015. After becoming president, he had to resign from an ambassadorial role with Nike after initially refusing to step down from

the position. Furthermore, Nick Davies, an ally of Coe, was the subject of an investigation by the IAAF ethics committee after Le Monde leaked an email to Papa Massata Diack that he had sent while working as the IAAF’s deputy general secretary. The email suggested ways to stifle Russian doping allegations ahead of the 2013 World Championships in Moscow. Davies’ actions were criticised both in the report into the IAAF and by Dick Pound.

Initial responses by tennis and athletics’ governing bodies concentrated on defending the sport by sidestepping the allegations—rather than by accepting them or refuting them with solid evidence.

Chris Kermode, head of the ATP, bemoaned the timing of the match-fixing story, coming as it did on the first day of the Grand Slam, but that paled into insignificance to Lord Coe who called allegations of widespread doping made by The Sunday Times in August 2015 as a “declaration of war”, and said that to protect athletics’ reputation, it was time to “come out fighting.” As time has passed on, and the controversies surrounding himself, the IAAF and athletics have persisted, his position has softened, appearing contrite in public and eager to reform the IAAF. If there was one sporting organisation that had a worse 2015 than the IAAF, it was The Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). In February 2016, elections will be held to determine who will succeed Sepp Blatter as FIFA’s president. The favourite, currently, is Sheikh Salman bin Ebrahim al-Khalifa, a member of the Bahraini royal family.

But allegations about his role in the crackdown of pro-democracy protesters in 2011 have circulated since he announced his candidature last year. In particular, Sheikh Salman has been forced to deny any involvement in the identification and torture of footballers and other athletes who participated in the protests. The Bahrain Institute for Rights and Democracy have written to FIFA’s sponsors about their concerns regarding Sheikh Salman. In their 2014-2015 report, Amnesty International stated that Bahrain was a place where: “The authorities continued to clamp down on dissent.”

Electing a man accused of being complicit in the torture of footballers as the new president of FIFA is deeply unsettling, but still a very real possibility. The other candidates do not inspire confidence in driving the complete structural form that Fifa needs, either. Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein of Jordan—who finished second to Blatter in the last

presidential election—has stated that he would not reopen the bidding process for the next two World Cups were he to be elected. Gianni Infantino is the current Union of European Football Associations’ (UEFA) general secretary and only announced his candidature after Michel Platini had been provisionally suspended by the FIFA ethics committee.

In fact UEFA have confirmed that they are still paying Michel Platini, despite his recent eight-year ban from football, and will continue to do so “until further notice.”

It is not original nowadays to describe FIFA as a morally bankrupt cesspit that not even the finest satirists or tragedians could have dreamt up. Its reputation has been shattered as more details of the tawdry, corrupt bidding processes for the World Cup and a succession of questionable backroom deals and bloc-voting by an exclusive elite that constitute elections nowadays have disseminated publicly. Its an organisation that seems unperturbed by the lead investigator into the bidding processes for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups resigning his position, after declaring that the version of his report released to the public was “erroneous.”

And, most importantly of all, the evidence about the deaths of hundreds and thousands of migrant workers does not seem to warrant action. Human suffering became seemingly inconsequential compared to the platitudes executives spout about how “the World Cup is being shared around the globe”— even if, in the process that workers have to die, there is evidence suggesting voters may have been bribed, and the winning bid was won on false pretences (who remembers the floating clouds).

Sport captivates billions of people who watch it for the spontaneity and the unpredictability of world-class athletes competing against one another. Those organisations who regulate these sports are ever-increasingly seeking to profit from these audiences, but we must demand that they are transparent and held accountable if they fail to investigate—and ultimately stamp out—cheating or corruption. Currently, these governing bodies are too concerned with trying to discredit or dismiss negative press in the hopes that the outcry doesn’t become too loud to ignore. Even then, the organisations that issue proclamations of rigorous investigations and structural change rarely—if ever—follow through with action. For sport to prosper in modern society, this cycle of events must simply stop.

Gerard Deulofeu and Romelu Lukaku, repeatedly stretching the reshuffled City midfield on the counter attack. This resulted in Everton taking an early lead through the impressive Barkley, with his eighth of the season. The goal came in the seventeenth minute as he took the ball from just inside City’s half, evaded a challenge from Nicholás Otamendi and proceed to fire a vicious right footed strike into Caballero’s bottom right.

However, the goal did seem to wake up the blue half of Manchester. And only six minutes after going behind, Fernandinho levelled the scoring. It was a Phil Jagielka block from a timid strike from Sergio Aguero that created the perfect lay off for Fernandinho. His follow-up, though, involved a large slice of luck, with his shot taking a significant deflection off Leighton Baines and cruelly looping over the head of the immobilised Robles.

From then on, it was a largely City-dominated affair. Hitting the post through both Aguero in the thirty-fifth minute and David Silva in the fifty-fifth.

Interestingly, Pellegrini also decided to reverse his decision to start Delph and replaced him with Jesús

Navas at half time, as city reverted back to their conventional midfield of Touré and Fernandinho. Early in the second half, he also decided to bolster the attack by bringing on the prolific De Bruyne The city pressure finally paid off in the sixty-ninth minute as the substitute De Bruyne levelled the tie on aggregate. It was a goal, however, riddled with controversy. On second viewing, it seemed clear that Sterling’s cutback to the young Belgian was made out of play. This left Everton boss Roberto Martinez once again furious at the officials, with him branding the decision ‘hurtful and unfair’. With decisions not going the Everton team’s way in recent weeks, they will feel aggrieved again, although City fans will be chuffed after being denied a penalty in the first leg.

Despite this, the game still had thirty more minutes, and it was only six minutes later that City found the goal that would take them to Wembley.

Yet again, it was the substitute Kevin De Bruyne at the heart of it, as his perfectly whipped cross found the head of Aguero. The Argentine managed to find space in between Everton captain Jagielka, and

Stones, who seemed uneasy at right back all night.

His header was placed perfectly into the left corner of the goal, beyond the Everton backup keeper.

There were jubilant scenes at The Etihad upon the full time whistle as Manchester City ensured their return to Wembley in late February to face Jürgen Klopp’s red side of Liverpool. For Pellegrini, the win marked his second Capital One cup final in three years, giving him some respite, amid the relentless rumours surrounding the future of both him and Pep Guardiola. Despite this, there was some very worrying news for the Chilean as his saviour on the night, De Bruyne, was stretchered off late on, with what is reported to be knee ligament damage. Reports are surfacing that the Belgian could be out for ten weeks.

For Everton, it was hugely disappointing night as Martinez scorned the opportunity of an all Liverpudlian final, in what was arguably the biggest game of his reign. The defeat has subsequently heaped more misery and pressure on the Spaniard in what has been a disappointing season.

Off to Wembley again: Manchester City 3-1 Everton

Patrick Harvey Sport Reporter

Manchester City have secured themselves a place at Wembley in the Capital One Cup final amid controversial circumstances, winning the North West’s battle of the blues.

Both sides lined up with strong outfits. For City, only Joe Hart, Aleksandar Kolarov and Kevin De Bruyne were rested, in place of Willy Caballero, Gael Clichy and Fabien Delph. As for Everton, John Stones deputised for Seamus Coleman at right back, Joel Robles replaced Tim Howard, and Leon Osman made a rare start, as one of the three behind an in-form Romelu Lukaku.

City made a shaky start to the game, as Manuel Pellegrini’s decision to play the energetic Delph and thus push Yaya Touré further up appeared to back fire. Despite enjoying the majority of the possession, it was Everton who posed the greater attacking threat early on, with the pace of Ross Barkley,

Photo: Ronnie Macdonald @Flickr

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Team Wiggins take the Elite Series Title

Alex Whitcomb Sport Reporter

A sell-out crowd witnessed a thrilling finale to the 2015/16 Revolution Series at the Manchester Velodrome, with Team WIGGINS taking the day and the title overall. Jon Dibben took his fine form from the fortnight before into the final round and dominated by winning two of the five events. Team WIGGINS topped the series standings by a sizeable margin with 440 points, followed by Team Pedalsure with 384 and Maloja Pushbikers with 362.

WIGGINS were consistently placed high up the order from race 1, with Dibben securing second in the flying lap time trial. He was beaten by just under 4 tenths of a second by Kian Emadi of ONE Pro Cycling; little surprise, since before turning his hand to endurance, he was a successful team sprinter and silver medallist at the 2014 Commonwealth Games.

Dibben then showed his class in the points race, with a display of physical and tactical dominance.

The three-way battle between Dibben, Scotland’s Mark Stewart and Team Sky’s Vasil Kiryenka, went down to the penultimate sprint, ensuring an exciting race. Dibben had to lap the field twice to win the race, which is an impressive feat considering that Kiryenka is the World Time Trial Champion on the road, and is known for his strength in physical endurance and determination.

The evening session then started as the afternoon had left off, with Dibben once again triumphing, this time in the 15km scratch race. He beat Great Britain and Team Pedalsure rider Chris Latham into second place, and Mark Stewart came third. This was then followed by the Madison time trial, allowing the team aspect of the competition to come into play. Team Sky couldn’t take part in this particular event, as they only fielded Vasil Kiryenka for round 5. Once again, Team WIGGINS finished first, the expert partnership of Dibben and Doull guided them to a third win in as many races. Pedalsure came a close second again, and ONE Pro Cycling third.

The final race ended in controversy as there appeared to be confusion between the commissaries and the velodrome commentators over when the final sprint was meant to take place. Team WIGGINS won, but after protests from Team Pedalsure the event was declared void, and the final standings for the series taken after four races. This made no difference to the winners, with WIGGINS being more than 25 points ahead of Pedalsure, meaning that they needed not score any points at all to claim the prize.

Harry Newton Sport Editor Tamagotchis, vuvuzelas, and boot-cut jeans have all gone out of fashion. It’s usual—things become uncool. This is a usual process of life, your dad’s dancing was actually cool one day believe it or not. However, some things are meant to be eternally cool and never go out of fashion; such as Michael Caine, Levi’s and Stella Artois. That being said, there is currently a shift in coolness that is seeing something become unacceptable that we never thought would, celebrating a football match. This article is here to act as your savior as we set out a mission to save football: Operation Celebrate begins here. And, it begins with Jürgen Klopp.

Jürgen Klopp has injected the Premier League with a sense of humour with his charismatic personality after recently taking the Liverpool job. Too long has it been that Premier League managers turn up to press conferences and churn out the same old clichés such as ‘taking every game as it comes,’ ‘the referee had some tough decisions’ and ‘I do not talk about individual players’, but Klopp has come out with some classics already in his short stint.

Recently Klopp lost his glasses in a manic celebration with Liverpool, after a last minute winner against Norwich City! In the interview afterwards Klopp stated that “I usually have a second pair of glasses but I can’t find them because it’s hard to find glasses without glasses!”

This week he has added to GlassesGate, comparing his new look to a ‘serial killer.’

Imagine all that in a fun German accent

Speaking afterwards, Jon Dibben said that the night had gone “almost perfectly”. He added, with a hint of understatement: “I knew we’d [Team WIGGINS] be going quite well. A lot of the lads here have just come from training camp and so we knew we’d be going alright.” He went on to say that the tough schedule before the World Championships in March would not be easing up any time soon, with more racing in Majorca the following week and then shortly afterwards some road action at the Tour of Dubai.

Away from the men’s series, Great Britain’s Laura Trott—the headline rider of the final round—was consistently at the business end of the action, win-

with big smiles and hand gestures; this man is great fun! In a PC era where this article has to be checked by four editors, three lawyers and the Queen of England before publication, Klopp is doing as he pleases, dancing around the touchlines, likening himself to a serial killer. Fantastic.

With the Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal refusing to get out of his seat at Old Trafford, (and frankly who would at those prices?) the jumpy German has been throwing himself all over the Anfield technical area in order to spur his team on to a win, like a tactical cheerleader. While being an energetic manager on the touchline is more successful than sitting back and allowing your tactics to come to fruition cannot be concluded, Klopp is certainly more entertaining, leaves his heart on the pitch, and is much easier to forgive after a difficult display. Where one manager hasn’t seen his team score in the first half of a Premier League game at home since September, the other saw his team claw back to a 5-4 win after falling behind to a 3-1 score line, and the fans are loving Klopp for it.

Klopp’s Liverpool got an equaliser against a tough West Bromwich Albion recently and Klopp sent his players over to the away end to celebrate with the fans. Player-fan moments are hard to come by nowadays, as usually players don’t even make the extreme effort to turn and clap to the away fans from the half way line, and yet some other fans seem to find Klopp’s players celebrating with fans amusing. Against Norwich, Twitter exploded, mocking Liverpool fans for their zealous excitement after that last minute winner. All of a sudden

ning three of her four events, and came second in the scratch race. Her win in the points race showed her dominance, taking it with two sprints to spare, and by a margin of 38 points. As the pre-eminent female endurance rider in the world, it is hard to see Trott not being selected for GB at the Olympics this year, especially based on the form shown at Revolution.

The crowd were also treated to a selection of great sprint races, with the track comeback of Dutch sprint great Theo Bos the main attraction. The fivetime world champion was victorious in both the match sprint and the Keirin—impressive considering that he is still in transition after switching to the

road after Beijing 2008. The Dutchman is trying to stake a claim to be in the Netherlands team in Rio this summer, and his current form doesn’t seem to be betraying that ambition.

British interest came in the form of current national champion Lewis Oliva and local favourite Matthew Rotherham. Oliva was consistently at the top of the standings, winning the 200m time trial, coming second in the match sprint and fourth in the Keirin. Meanwhile, Bolton’s Rotherham carried good form from six-day racing into Revolution, and was gleefully playing to a vocal home crowd. The second placed rider from the Six Days of London came third in the Keirin and individual sprint, and was visibly buoyed by jubilant support from the grandstands.

German track star, Robert Forstemann also made an appearance in the sprints. The rider known as “Quadzilla” for his 29 inch thighs had a less than impressive day on the boards, but was a welcome draw, since he is one of the most popular track cyclists on social media.

A final bit of stardust was added to the event by Chris Hoy who was there to present the prizes and promote the Future Stars series, which is sponsored by Hoy bicycles. The youth event has been won by many riders who have gone on to represent GB at international level. Lewis Stewart and Jessica Roberts have joined a list of winners that includes Peter Kennaugh, Simon Yates and one of this year’s senior winners, Owain Doull.

The climax of Revolution 2015/16 marked the last major event in the British track season before the world championships return to British shores. The UCI Track World Championships run at the Lee Valley Velodrome in London from March 2nd to 6th, and they will be the final international opportunity for riders to break into their national teams before this summer’s Olympic Games.

Elite Series Final Standings

Photo: Alex Whitcomb

1. Team Wiggins 2. Team Pedalsure 3. Maloja Pushbikers RT 4. JLT Condor p/b Mavic 5. Orica Greenedge

6. ONE Pro Cycling

7. Team Sky 8. Scotland Burness Paul 9. Telegraph Allstars 10. Team USN 11. VCUK-Champion Systems 12. The Nab Racing

440 384 362 252 233 227 210 199 191 158 139 136

Klopperation: Celebration

Jürgen Jung @WikimediaCommons

it has become uncool to celebrate goals that aren’t against massive teams, or in a cup final.

It’s possible that this is the effect of social media on fans of football. Social media of course has its positives—we are now more informed on everything, quicker than ever. You can feel like you are watching a game with the whole country simply by following a match on Twitter! However, the speed of social media has meant that fans need to find

more things to mock about their rivals teams, and all of a sudden celebrating a win has become wrong, or worse, uncool. Fans belittling each other over Twitter is fun, it’s like being at work mocking your mate because he supports Stoke; however, I make a plea to all social media users to stop mocking your mate for celebrating when their team wins! That’s what they should be doing.

Follow the Klopp way of life! You don’t need to go get a bad haircut and some

thick glasses,just have a good time and let your emotions get involved with the game!

So this is a plea to all fans, whether it’s a last minute winner against Stalybridge Celtic in a pre-season friendly, or the Champions League Final winning penalty against Bayern Munich, celebrate the win! There is no need to be embarrassed. There’s loads else to be miserable about: Piers Morgan’s on Good Morning Britain almost every day now.

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Six Nations 2016

Toby Webb Sport Reporter

This coming week has been a long wait for anyone connected with the England rugby team. While the wounds of their utterly dismal World Cup campaign are still fresh in the minds of fans and players alike, finally we have rugby again: a chance to begin the healing process. The imminent Six Nations could have suffered from a World Cup hangover. However, with England boasting a brand new coaching team, it will be an intriguing tournament for all involved. For England fans, a new chapter is finally upon us.

First, let’s talk about the new coaching team. I experienced an immense sense of vindication following the appointment of Eddie Jones as head coach, Steve Borthwick as forwards coach and Paul Gustard as defence coach.

In my post-mortem of England’s World Cup campaign, I demanded that the RFU appoint a head coach from the Southern hemisphere and splash the cash on a high calibre support team. My prayers were answered.

The appointment of Eddie Jones has been almost unanimously praised. At last, England will be headed by someone with international coaching experience (the last two coaches, Lancaster and Johnson, had none), someone brought up on the Southern hemisphere diet of fast, flowing, full of flair rugby. Furthermore, he will be supported by two quality coaches. Borthwick was part of Jones’s coaching team with Japan, and Gustard’s efforts have resulted in Saracens being a dominant force in this year’s Premiership.

Although his first taste of international coaching was deemed a failure, heading the Australia team between 2003 and 2005 and being sacked as a result of poor performances, the rest of Jones’s CV will get England fans excited. He was technical advisor during South Africa’s triumphant 2007 World Cup campaign. His next foray into international coaching was with Japan. Taking over in 2012, Jones changed the face of Japanese rugby. He implemented an attractive, fast-paced style of rugby that culminated in the Japanese performances during the 2015 World Cup. No one will forget their much-deserved triumph over South Africa. Jones has proven pedigree as an international coach.

In the build up to the Six Nations, Jones has talked well.

He has outlined his desire to implement a new English style, one that maintains the traditional qualities of good set-pieces, scrums and line-outs, while incorporating more modern aspects of offloading, utilising space and speed. Here, he has covered his bases. Telling us what we want to hear without committing himself to any specific style.

The squad announcement for the Six Nations was Jones’s first meaningful contribution as England boss.

Household names like Geoff Parling, Tom Wood and Tom Youngs were left out, deemed too old to fit the long-term planning towards the 2019 World Cup. There was re-call for Manu Tuigali, someone tossed aside by the old regime. Seven uncapped players have been named, includ-

ing the exciting prospects Maro Itoje and Elliot Daly. The prodigy Danny Cipriani was also left out, much to my dismay. While containing some intriguing decisions, the announcement was well in-tune with Jones’s rhetoric about the new chapter of English rugby.

Although it has been forecast, the decision to make Dylan Hartley England’s captain for the Six Nations is contentious. Hartley has an appalling disciplinary record, part of the notorious off-field antics during the 2011 World Cup, and around 54 weeks of suspension in his career. There are big question marks over his composure and ability to lead by example. However, in Jones’s defence, he has named him captain for the Six Nations only. This is a shrewd move, not only because of his questionable temperament but because his position as starting hooker is under threat from Jamie George and Luke Cowan-Dickie.

Jones is avoiding a problem the old regime had, Chris Robshaw being in the team because of his captaincy role rather than his form. The tournament will be a trial of Hartley’s captaincy qualities.

The team for Saturday’s crunch game in Scotland will be announced later in the week. Jones faces a dilemma: does he select a team boasting youth, and risk an opening game loss to a Scotland side buoyant from a brilliant World Cup campaign? Or does he go with more experienced players, more likely to secure a first victory for the new coach? Jones’s first few games will inevitably be judged as experiments, whatever the results. However, one can not underestimate the value of getting victories under the belt. A victory should be the priority, using whatever players necessary. Jones has suggested he will err on the side of caution for the Scotland game, filling his 23 man squad with largely experienced players. However, uncapped players Ollie Devoto, Paul Hill and Jack Clifford are selected, and will be expected to play some part on Saturday.

Given this, my squad prediction, assuming that everyone stays fit in the run up to the game, is as follows: 15. Mike Brown, 14. Anthony Watson, 13. Jonathan Joseph, 12. Owen Farrell, 11. Jack Nowell, 10. George Ford, 9.

Danny Care.

1. Mako Vunipola, 2. Dylan Hartley (c), 3. Dan Cole, 4.

George Kruis, 5. Joe Launchbury, 6. Chris Robshaw, 7.

James Haskall, 8. Billy Vunipola.

Owen Farrell gets the nod at 12. Jones sees him as a versatile player who can play both inside centre and his natural position of fly-half. His experience and precision from the kicking tee could be crucial in a tight game. Dan Cole gets the nod due to lack of a better option; if fit, Kieran Brookes would certainly be starting ahead of him. Chris Robshaw, relieved of captaincy duties, is in the team as a result of good club form. Finally, Danny Care beats Ben Youngs to the 9 jersey on form as well.

I expect Saturday’s game to be very tough. Scotland are fresh off the back of a great World Cup, narrowly losing out to Australia in the QFs; playing at home against the old enemy under a new coach will undoubtedly get them fired up. Despite this, I predict, after soaking up a lot of early pressure, England will be victorious by 6 points.

Photo: Diliff @WikimediaCommons