Issue20

18th APRIL 2016 / ISSUE 20 FREE

Graduates on lower pay than non-graduates Data show students from lowperformance universities earn less than those who did not attend university at all Emily Hulme Senior Reporter

Photo: The Mancunion

Protesting staff threatened with pay docks, say Unison Allegations were made that UMC managers threatened any staff who joined Thursday’s rally against job cuts would have an hour’s pay deducted Jennifer Sterne Head News Editor Last Thursday 100 students, staff and campaigners took to Oxford Road to protest the planned cuts of 43 catering jobs across the University of Manchester campus.

It was later claimed by Unison, who represents the caterers, that a number of the UMC members of staff were contacted by a manager of UMC who told them that if they were to attend the Unison lunch time rally they would be deducted an hour’s pay.

As revealed by The Mancunion last month, after implementing the living wage in February, University of Manchester Conferences Limited (UMC) the company in charge of ca-

tering services across the university, then announced plans to make 43 of their staff redundant and to cut salaries by up to a third.

UMC is a private, wholly-owned subsidiary company of the university that provides catering services across campus and in the University’s Halls of Residence. UMC runs the Chancellors Hotel, The Chancellors Collection, FoodOnCampus, FoodInResidence, and BarsInResidence on behalf of the University.

In the original e-mail leaked to The Mancunion it was revealed that 60 out of UMC’s 283 staff have been told that their jobs are at risk.

The e-mail went on to say that if less than 43 of these 60 do not accept voluntary severance, then UMC have announced that they plan to go ahead with compulsory redundancies.

Alongside this, UMC were allegedly planning

NUS President candidate questioned about anti-Semitism

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to impose inferior contracts on the remaining staff, cutting salaries by up to a third.

These claims of redundancies within UMC came on the back of redundancies and further threats of redundancies to 38 employees and 68 IT staff last year, alongside 28 other staff this year.

Unison has since also told The Mancunion that UMC staff are “feeling pressure from management to take their annual leave during down time to suit UMC services”.

Our source expressed concern with the direction the university is taking, especially expressing concern over the treatment of lower paid staff in contrast with those who earn the most at the university.

The University of Manchester has the 23rd Continued on page 2...

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Data from The Institute of Fiscal Studies (IFS) show that graduates from the lowest-performing universities were earning less ten years after graduation than non-graduates.

The trend was evident in both male and female graduates, raising questions about higher education’s value for money.

The IFS carried out this ‘big data’ research to find out what hinders and helps graduate earnings. Using anonymised tax data and student loans for 260,000 students since 1998, the IFS found that earnings vary by university, degree subject and parental income.

Despite not naming all the universities used in the research, the IFS did list some Russell Group Universities, showing the London School of Economics to be the only institution where more than 10% of its female graduates earning in excess of £100,000 a year, ten years after graduating.

Predictably, the degree of choice also impacts on earning in the study; creative arts and mass communication graduates had the lowest earnings, earning around £17,000 for men and £12,000 for women, which proves to be less than non-graduate earners. But the gender pay gap seemed to be higher amongst higher earners. In stark contrast to the above, 12 per cent of male and 9 per cent of female Economics graduates were found to earn over £100,000 ten years after graduation. Medicine and law graduates earned a similar amount.

Co-author of the paper, Anna Vignoles from the University of Cambridge, said “students need to realise that their subject choice is important in determining how much of an earnings advantage they will have.” Disappointingly, the study also finds that those with parents on high incomes earn around 25 per cent more than their poorer counterparts, but if the institution and subject chosen is controlled, this can fall to 10 percent.

NUS President Megan Dunn said: “It’s hugely disappointing to see that women and poorer graduates are facing such a massive disadvantage in the workplace.” Echoing Dunn’s sentiment, Lee Elliot Major, Chief Executive of the Sutton Trust, Continued on page 2...

Interview with a graffiti artist

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Film: Review: Hardcore Henry

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Music: Summer festivals previews

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Theatre: Riverdance 21

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It’s finally here – the last issue of The Mancunion has finally arrived, and what a year it’s been. From the Conservative Party protest to revelations of racism within the Labour Party, and from everpresent disputes over free speech and safe spaces to probably the largest issue of this year, the government’s treatment of junior doctors, I have to thank the incredible team of volunteer journalists I’ve had the pleasure to work with for the leaps and bounds The Mancunion has made since September.

I am endlessly thankful to the students who have taken the time out of working on their degrees, particularly when dissertation and essay deadlines loom, to contribute to student media—be it print, radio or television—putting in hundreds of collective hours to produce a newspaper that is professional, attractive and relevant to students every single week, for no recompense other than experience and involvement in a community of likeminded individuals.

This year we’ve tried new ways of running a successful student newspaper, introducing the positions of Current Affairs Editor and Magazine Editor to supplement the efforts of Marcus and I, as well as the new Global page, covering wacky The Students’ Union has launched a Student Safety Survey to collect and understand students’ perception of their safety in Manchester and on campus.

Questions will include experiences of hate crimes, experiences with the police, and if and how the council could act to improve how safe students feel.

“We know that safety is a really big issue and concern for students in Manchester but we wanted to do a survey that explored what that actually means so that we can make sure the initiatives that the Students’ Un-

a group that promotes social mobility, said the study helps to “explain why social mobility remains poor in the UK, despite a big expansion in Higher Education.”

“Students from better-off backgrounds are more likely to go to universities and take subjects with better career prospects. But even allowing for these choices, they still earn more, which suggests that we all need to redouble efforts to improve the networks available to undergraduates, their access to internships and their access to skills valued by employers.”

Universities Minister, Jo Johnson, said the government accepted there was still a long way to go to improve

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social mobility. He added: “We have seen record application rates among students from disadvantaged backgrounds, but this latest analysis reveals the worrying gaps that still exist in graduate outcomes.

“We want to see this information used to improve the experience students are getting across the higher education sector.”

On the whole, the analysis of data does suggest that higher education does pay for the majority; graduates are more likely to be in work and earn more than non-graduates. Median earnings for graduates after 10 years were about £30,000, but were £20,000 for non-graduates of the same age.

Current Affairs Editor: Joe C. Evans Magazine Editor: Elise Gallagher

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ion are providing are what students actually want,” said Jess Lishak, Women’s Officer. £I think that the results could be really helpful for Jenni (next year’s Women’s Officer) and Saffa (next year’s Community Officer) to help plan their work but also to win the arguments with the university for more funding around student safety.”

The survey can be found at http:// bit.ly/1NdaHLq and is open for all students to complete. Respondents will get the opportunity to win cash prizes from £50 to £150.

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world news in 100 words a piece. We’ve also had to learn to stand up for our journalism, whether it be breaking news stories, conducting difficult interviews with public figures, or publishing (and then defending) the views of students whose ideas may not match the status quo.

Student media itself has seen multiple amazing successes. As well as the firstever Women In Media conference organised solely by a small group of student volunteers, which raised over £800 for local charity MASH, The Mancunion was nominated for two Student Publication Association awards, Fuse FM was nominated for one Student Radio Association awards and Station Manager Rhys was elected North West and North Wales Regional Officer, while Fuse TV won the Highly Commended Award for the Best Open category.

It’s been an extraordinary year. I look forward to welcoming and handing over to whoever is successful in their application to become Editor-in-chief and Student Media Co-ordinator next year, and seeing all three student media platforms continue to grow in success and influence.

Thank you for an amazing year.

@TheMancunion Editor-in-chief: Charlie Spargo editor@mancunion.com Deputy Editor-in-chief: Marcus Johns deputyed@mancunion.com Postal address: University of Manchester Students’ Union, Oxford Road, Manchester, M13 9PR Phone: 0161 275 2989 Subeditors: Gemma Sowerby, Shaun Carter, Nadia Cheung, Lauren Nolan, Karenza Cutting, Emily Piper

Head News Editor: Jenny Sterne News Editor: Merle Streck Science Editor: Andy van den Bent-Kelly news@mancunion.com science@mancunion.com Features Editor: Liam Kelly features@mancunion.com Opinion Editor: Isaac Atwal opinion@mancunion.com Head Fashion Editor: Kassi Allcock Deputy Fashion Editor: Kathryn Murray Deputy Fashion Editor (Beauty): Millie Kershaw fashion@mancunion.com Head Food & Drink Editor: Ellie Gibbs Deputy Food & Drink Editor: Helena Maxwell-Jackson foodanddrink@mancunion.com Head Film Editor: James Moules Deputy Film Editor: Nicole Tamer film@mancunion.com

“Reclaim the Night is so much more than just one night and one street.

It’s about a movement of people who can build unity to stand together, to break the silence and to say enough is enough.” Jess Lishak

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Spending Review:

Institutional Racism: NUS investigation

What it means for Manchester Higher Education Marcus Johns Deputy Editor-in-chief

As part of the joint post-election Spending Review and Autumn Statement, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has announced more devolution measures for Greater Manchester.

The further devolution to the Greater Manchester Combined Authority and directly-elected Mayor is certainly more evolution than the revolutions we have previously reported on. Though substantially less than the £7 billion devolution wishlist submitted by council leaders before the deadline in September, there are key changes to Devo Manc.

Sir Richard Leese, Vice Chair of Greater Manchester Combined Authority and Leader of Manchester City Council, said: “Devolution to Greater Manchester’s is about shifting influence and decision-making to local Leaders better placed to respond to the city-region’s priorities and needs, delivering better outcomes and better value for our residents and businesses.

“Whether that’s investing in the services or infrastructure we need to drive improvements and ensure that Greater Manchester have the skills which match the jobs being created – benefiting employees and employers alike – the measures announced today are another step in that incremental journey.”

Devo Manc arrived a little over a year ago and much has changed since, with additions such as the devolution of the £6 billion in health spending and the awarding of the right to retain 100 per cent of growth in business rates that has been in place since April.

This comes in the week after a ComRes poll commissioned by BBC local radio found that 44 per

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cent of Northerners said they have never heard of the ‘Northern Powerhouse’ and a further one in five said they had heard of it, but know nothing about it. The poll did, though, show strong support for devolution in the North; 82 per cent agreed the North should have more control over transport, health, and other services.

The announcements on the 25th of November were formally endorsed by the Greater Manchester Combined Authority (GMCA) on Friday 27th.

Tony Lloyd, interim Mayor of Greater Manchester, said: “I strongly welcome the recommitment from both sides to deliver real change to how decisions about Greater Manchester are taken. Decisions about people in Manchester and Greater Manchester are best made here and today’s announcement is another step in that journey.

“We are bound to continue to press government on resourcing so that we can ensure that communities across Greater Manchester get the services and investment they deserve.”

Osborne announced that the Greater Manchester Earn Back deal, announced in November 2014, will be continued subject to a gateway review in 2019. This includes £30 million per annum for 30 years to enable the delivery of the Trafford Park Metrolink extension, connecting the Trafford Centre to the Metrolink network, and the SEMMS road link, which will ease congestion around Manchester airport.

The Chancellor also confirmed £9 million a year from 2018/19 in the Spending Review; this came on the same day as the plans for the multi-million pound creative hub that will house the Manchester International Festival were released. It is expected that The Factory will create 2500 jobs and contribute millions of pounds to Manchester’s economy.

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Review: PLY

William Brown News Editor The government’s spending review, announced this Wednesday, has seen a number of key policy implementations and cuts for the student population.

Despite strong protests over the last few months, the spending review confirmed that student maintenance grants for those from disadvantaged backgrounds will be scrapped completely and will be replaced by additional student loans.

According to the Chancellor this review could save some £2 billion. However, this highly controversial move could leave students from the poorest backgrounds, as the National Union of Students calculates it, in over £50,000 of debt on leaving university.

The spending review also revealed two other key changes to higher education. Student nurses are to face huge cuts to their education budget.

Tuition fee grants are to be axed and replaced with loans. According to Osborne this will help free up some £800 million a year for the treasury.

Parallel to this cut, Osborne has removed the cap on student nurse places. Osborne said: “Over half of all applicants are turned away, and it leaves hospitals relying on agencies and overseas staff.

“We’ll replace direct funding with loans for new students—so we can abolish this self-defeating cap and create up to 10,000 new training places in this Parliament.”

However, the general secretary and chief executive of the Royal College of Nursing, Janet Davies has responded saying that the change would leave the UK in a “precarious position” saying the move would make people worse off, put people off becoming nurses for the NHS, and would be a “big loss for our society”.

The news comes as earlier this month CEO of

Merle Streck Reporter

29th FEBRUARY 2016 / ISSUE 16 FREE

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Belated Belieber or Believer Berater?

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NUS President promises an independent investigation into allegations of institutional racism

the NHS in England, Simon Stevens, described Osborne’s funding plan for the NHS as not “workable”.

Wednesday’s spending review also announced a shake-up in the student loan repayment schemes. Notably, the review reveals that students who took out loans after 2012 will have to pay more in repayments through a freeze in the £21,000 repayment threshold until April 2021.

The Times Higher Education reports that originally the government had pledged to up-rate the threshold in line with earnings.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) has estimated that this freezing of the threshold for repayment means that the average graduate has to pay back £3,000 more than previously thought.

Strikingly, the IFS also estimates that disadvantaged students, who will have taken the additional maintenance loans in place of the scrapped grants, will be on average £6,000 worse off.

Moreover, the Student Opportunity Fund will, according to the spending review, have its budget halved by 2019-20.

The former head of the Independent Task Force on student finance information, Martin Lewis, has described this as a “disgraceful move and a breach of trust by the government that betrays a generation of students”.

Many of these shake-ups and saving schemes have gone ahead so that Osborne can roll out new schemes for post-graduates and part-time students.

According to the TLS, students wishing to study for a second degree will be allowed to access a tuition fee loan from 2017-18, as long their chosen subject is in science, technology, mathematics or engineering.

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The President of the NUS, Megan Dunn, has requested a review of the organisation following recent allegations of institutional racism. According to Dunn, the allegations were made by the Black Students’ Officer, Malia Bouattia, at an NUS Executive Committee meeting in July.

“Any allegation of racism is a serious one, and I am proud to lead an organisation that takes seriously our duty to investigate this thoroughly and openly,” said Dunn. “Part of our stated intention as an organisation is to challenge racism in all its forms, and so this review will run alongside our existing work striving for excellence in all areas of equality and diversity.”

Bouattia is a representative for the largest group of black students in Europe. This includes students of African, Arab, Asian and Caribbean origin. In an interview with Black Ballad in August 2015, Bouattia was asked if racism is a problem in the student community.

She responded: “The education system definitely isn’t insulated from the racism of wider society… more often than not it is guilty of perpetuating and reproducing racism.

“It’s ingrained within the system, and this is reflected in structure, from the marginalisation of Black students and academics within many institutions, down to the way course content excludes or minimises the contributions of black people in all fields of study.”

Dunn, NUS President since April 2015, has requested an independent review into the organisation and according to Simon Blake, the organisation’s Chief Executive, the reassessment is thought to be completed by January 2016 and will be conducted by an external agency.

In his letter to staff, Blake said the investigators will analyse whether racism exists in the “culture, systems, policies, processes and structures and make recommendations about any changes we can make to ensure we fulfil our commitment to being an organisation that is truly fair, open, accessible and representative of all.”

This is not the first time a figure in the NUS has criticised racial diversity in education. Last August, Sorana Vieru, VicePresident (Higher Education), voiced her concerns about the structure of university assessment methods which continuously lead to the underperformance of students from less privileged backgrounds. Vieru mentions the “white, male and stale” university environment as one of the underlying issues the NUS has yet to tackle.

Further comments were made by Shelly Asquith, the VicePresident (Welfare) via Twitter: “The student movement & its institutions are institutionally racist. People need to properly accept that before we can begin to overcome it.”

Even though the NUS is viewed as a long-standing and persistent critic of racial discrimination, this is not the first time that the organization has been met with allegations of institutional racism. Back in 2008 black students reported incidents of racism at various Students’ Union events, including a NUS training event, in which a Students’ Union officer allegedly carried a poster reading “Bring back slavery!” as a joke.

The Black Students’ Officer at that time, Bellavia RibeirioAddy, was already adamant on taking a more decisive stand against racism in 2008 and encouraged black students to report any racist comments made by NUS officers. Following the incidents, he said: “It is unacceptable that black students should have to put up with blatant racist stereotypes at NUS events.”

WWW.MANCUNION.COM 7th MARCH 2016 / ISSUE 17 FREE

Banned

Outrage online, on campus, and on both sides of the debate as controversial speakers are barred from Free Speech and Specular Society event Both Julie Bindel and Milo Yian- sorship: Does modern feminism tially in breach of [the] safe space ter Students’ Union Facebook napoulos have been prohibited have a problem with free speech?” policy.” page to this original decision Yianfrom speaking at an event hosted to take place on the 15th of OctoYiannopoulos was, however, nopoulos wrote, “I’m astonished by the University of Manchester ber. initially permitted to attend, albeit that I wasn’t outright banned as Free Speech and Secular Society.

In their initial statement the Stu- under the conditions the event well. I’ll have to up my game!”

Bindel and Yiannapoulos were dents’ Union Executive Team re- had increased security levels and both booked to speak at a debate jected Bindel on the grounds that was ticketed.

Continued on Page 3 entitled “From liberation to cen- her appearance would be “potenIn a comment on the Manches-

Tory Party Conference protests

in this issue...

65,000 marched: Who are they?

Page 8 Natalie Bennett: “No sane British PM” would push the button Page 5 People vs Tories: A roundup of the People’s Assembly Week of Action Page 3

Corbyn addresses huge crowds during Tory Party conference Page 5 Review: Beat Back - Music against austerity Page 14 Opinion: Disturbance at the protest – unacceptable, but inevitable Page 10

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Students protest airstrikes on Syria

» MPs approve airstrikes on Syria » Students in Manchester and across the country took to the streets to protest the decision » More protests are planned

2016 Exec Candidates

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Goldsmiths ISOC protesters intimidate ex-Muslim campaigner Last Monday, Goldsmiths University saw well-known human rights campaigner and ex-Muslim, Maryam Namazie, aggressively heckled and intimidated by protesters from the University’s Islamic Society (ISOC).

Namazie had been invited to the University by the Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Society (ASH) to give a talk entitled ‘Apostasy, blasphemy and free expression in the age of Isis’.

As protesters disrupted the talk, they claimed it “violated their safe space.”

Namazie, herself an ex-Muslim, fled her native Iran in the face of persecution and is a strong campaigner against Islamic extremism and Sharia law. She is a member of the Council of Ex-Muslims of Britain and was named Secularist of the Year in 2005 by the National Secular Society. She is also on the central committee member on the

banned resistance group, the Worker-Communist Party of Iran.

The night before the event, ISOC posted on their Facebook page: “We feel extremely uncomfortable… she is renowned for being Islamophobic, and very controversial.”

A video posted online of the entire two-hour talk shows how the events unfolded. At around 11 minutes in, Namazie begins to interrupt. She shouts “be quiet or get out” a total of 17 times.

To which the victim of the shouting claimed: “You are intimidating me.” Namazie then replied: “Oh, you’re intimidated? Go to your safe space.”

At one point, some students seem to laugh when the murder of secular Bangladeshi bloggers is mentioned. Namazie responds to them, saying: “Is it really funny that people get hacked to death?”

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Ejections, Elections, and Rejections: Student removed from Senate Marcus Johns & William Brown Deputy Editor-in-chief and News Editor Last Thursday, student Ed Bird was forcibly removed from the Student Union’s Senate as representatives discussed the proposed abolition of the Students’ Union’s Safe Space policy.

Thursday’s meeting was the second meeting of the newly-formed Senate. The Senate, according to the Students’ Union’s website, is a body responsible for: “representing students, helping determine the policies of the Students’ Union and holding democratically elected representatives to account.”

It is formed of a range of Student Officers from

across the student body, the Students’ Union’s Exec Team, Education Officers from undergraduate and postgraduate departments, members of the Activities Committee, and a panel of “randomly selected” students “representative of the general student population”.

Any student of the University of Manchester is permitted to attend the senate as an audience member but does not have voting rights. Members of the Free Speech and Secular society were in the audience, among others, to watch proceedings.

Videos of Thursday’s event show security leading Ed Bird towards the exit. After three warnings, the chair asked Bird to be removed. He refused to go voluntarily and security was summoned.

The Senate was adjourned for five minutes as the situation was dealt with and the Students’ Union tweeted: “We have taken five minute break while an audience member is removed from the room after receiving three warnings for misconduct.” Bird told security that he would not be going under his own volition but would only go if led out of the room: “I’ll only go if you escort me,” he told them.

Bird is clearly audible in video recordings of his ejection asking the security: “Can you escort me please?” Eyewitnesses say that as soon as Bird left the room, he became amicable towards the staff escorting him and subsequently left of his own volition.

As he was being led away by security, he shout-

ed: “I am being no-platformed,” in reference to the abolition of the Safe Space Policy, about which the Senate was debating prior to his removal.

He had complained throughout the debate, at times shouting during proceedings that the Senate was “not democratic”. Others, such as Leonardo Carrela—the sponsor of the 6th policy proposal to reform the Safe Space Policy, complained during the debate about the length of proceedings and delays, which prevented their motion being discussed despite the frequent interruptions from audience members that arrived with them.

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Brexit could damage HE in Europe, warn academics

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Is #OscarsSoWhite really effective?

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Investigation: Racism in Young Labour Jennifer Sterne, Joe C. Evans, Liam Kelly, & Marcus Johns Head News Editor, Current Affairs Editor, Features Editor, & Deputy Editor-in-Chief

The Mancunion contacted 17 Labour MPs

T

he youth wings of the Labour Party have been rocked by further allegations of “institutional racism” and infighting in the aftermath of the Young Labour and Labour Students Conferences in Scarborough over the weekend of 26th – 28th February.

Huda Elmi (pictured), who is the Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) Officer of Labour Students, told The Mancunion that she and other BAME Young Labour members “felt invisible within the structures of the organisation.”

“We were not heard unless we were spoken for.”

Elmi cited the fact that, at conference, a Labour Students vote was held whilst BAME members of the party were holding a separate caucus outside the conference hall.

She described the situation as “almost a joke… It was as if they were trying to prove that the major grievance of being invisible is true.

“How could they not notice that every BAME person was missing?”

Elmi also highlighted the fact that the position of BAME Officer at Young Labour is currently vacant, and has been for the last six months, after the incumbent stepped down for personal reasons.

She added: “Ever since being elected [as Labour Students BAME Officer], I have been left out of important discussions concerning the committee, refused the tools to act in any kind of autonomous way and made to feel essentially like a token.

“It is blatantly obvious that we were not present bar in pictures used in brochures… We were not heard unless we were spoken for.”

A senior source from Nottingham Labour Students, who was also at the conference, told The Mancunion that he believed the caucus issue was the result of “human error” and was not an intentional slight, but it highlighted the issues BAME members face in the Labour youth movement.

Mo Ahmed was “one of the only BAME Labour Students CoChairs in the country.”

Ahmed and Elmi received a standing ovation for their speech on institutional racism

Photo: Screenshot

He went on to state his belief that “BAME members were particularly vulnerable to some of the negative aspects of factionalism and inter-camp bullying and intimidation that was noticeably prevalent at conference.”

Two separate conferences were held over the weekend in Scarborough, North Yorkshire: A Labour Students conference met over the Friday and Saturday, with delegates from Labour Students clubs across the country electing their national officers and deciding policy for the coming year.

Young Labour, which consists of delegates representing all members under the age of 26, met on the Saturday and Sunday to elect their officers and debate policy.

Mo Ahmed, the Co-Chair of Manchester Labour Students, resigned his position on the Saturday night of the conference. In his resignation statement, lambasted the treatment of BAME students within the youth wings of the Labour Party, saying: “We don’t feel welcome. We are totally invisible.”

Ahmed was, according to Elmi, “one of the only Labour Students BAME chairs in the country” and the fact that he felt his resignation was necessary demonstrated “something is wrong with the system”.

Elmi and Ahmed both gave speeches at the Young Labour conference the day after the latter’s resignation. Their speeches received standing ovations.

In her speech, Elmi expressed her disappointment at Labour failing to live up to its reputation as the “party that promises to be at the frontline, fighting for marginalized groups.”

She also stated her belief that there is “no suitable infrastructure to make sure ethnic minority people are represented in internal politics.”

Following the speech, and as a further response to the racism allegations, BAME members of Young Labour took to Twitter and started the hashtag: #IAMNOTATOKEN. The allegations of institutional racism compound the issues engulfing Labour’s youth wing, following the resignation of the co-chair of Oxford University Labour Club (OULC) after the club’s decision to endorse Israeli Apartheid Week, and accusations of bullying and voting irregularities during the election of the National Executive Committee (NEC) Youth Representative.

Elmi drew a distinction between Labour’s national leadership under Jeremy Corbyn—whose summer leadership campaign she cites as her reason for getting involved in the party—and the “mess that is Young Labour”.

Despite these issues, Elmi hinted she was hopeful about the future, though warned: “Representation without structural change is simply tokenism.”

She said: “The incoming Young Labour committee has to listen to the voices of their BAME members so that we can succeed in our collective fight.”

A report into the bullying allegations is being led by Labour peer Baroness Janet Royall, whilst Elmi is also writing her own report into the events of the conference, where she is “collating personal testimonies and creating recommendations for Labour Students so as to help further integrate BAME members into the organisation.”

In a statement, Manchester Labour Students said: “This conference has raised important issues within our movement. We will support all four of our liberation campaigns—respecting their autonomy—in order to ensure that the diversity of our movement is fully and meaningfully represented.

“We would like to thank Mo for all of his hard work and dedication in what has been a difficult few months for Manchester Labour Students. He has been an invaluable member of MLS.”

“Representation without structural change is simply tokenism.”

Government to miss Higher Education target

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Cameron ban proposed for Senate Charlie Spargo Editor-in-chief

A motion has been put forward for the next Students’ Union Senate to debate the banning of Prime Minister David Cameron from the Union building to stop him manipulating “venerable [sic]” students.

The possibly-satirical proposal, titled ‘Ban David Cameron from the Students’ Union building’, calls Cameron a “dangerous Tory” and his government “undemocratic”.

“David Cameron is a dangerous Tory whom has continually attacked the welfare state with the intent of destroying it since the Tory government assumed absolute power in a so called ‘democratic’ vote”, reads the motion.

“David Cameron and his right-wing Tory government were elected by a minority of the electorate, and zero students voted Tory, therefore we must make a stand against this undemocratic regime by banning David Cameron and his Tory government from our democratic Students Union and our University Campus.”

Cameron’s campaign to stay in the EU is questioned too. “David Cameron has said that we should vote to stay in the EU, but he is a Tory and therefore he must have lied…

“To prevent him being able to manipulate venerable students at the University we must ban him.”

Naa Acquah, General , said: “The recent idea which has been submitted by a student to ban David Cameron is an example of us as a union allowing students to openly submit their ideas and policies to our democratic structure. As a Students’ Union, we are committed to empowering our students to shape what the union does or believes by participating in our democratic structures.”

In February a motion was submitted to Senate calling for the banning of controversial and widely unpopular Republican Party nominee Donald Trump from the building.

Senate will take place on the 14th of April. Other motions to be discussed include opposition to bursary cuts, the introduction of an Inclusion Officer in all society committees, and the creation of a dedicated studio for Fuse TV in the new SU redevelopment.

Should we leave the European Union?

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Interview with an astronaut

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Cameron’s “personal experience” of tax avoidance Jennifer Sterne Head News Editor

David Cameron, despite avoiding media questions, has been ambushed by a student at Exeter University who alluded to Cameron’s “personal experience” of avoiding tax— only a few hours before he revealed this to be true.

Cameron was addressing students on the EU referendum when one student claimed to be “very interested in what the collective EU states could do to combat tax avoidance—something [he claimed Cameron] has personal experience of”.

There were no other direct questions about his tax affairs or the letter which resurfaced recently, which outlined Cameron’s attempt to lobby the EU not to crackdown on offshore trusts.

In response to the student the Prime Minister, with a straight face, stated he had “made tax and transparency the number one issue” at international summits.

The Prime Minister added that Britain was becoming the first country with a register of beneficial owners of companies. He went on to claim that tax, transparency and beneficial ownership would be on the agenda at a planned tax conference in London in May and also spoke of plans to raise £12bn through a crackdown on tax avoidance.

He admitted to the students that more needed to be done to crackdown on tax avoidance, specifically in order to ensure that universities and public services gain more funding.

The press were unable to question Cameron at the event, after the report in the Financial Times revealed he had personally intervened in 2013 to prevent offshore trusts being involved in the EU-wide crackdown on tax avoidance.

After speaking to the students however, he was interviewed by ITV’s Political Editor Robert Peston in which he admitted both he and his wife owned shares in the Panamanian trust set up by his late father.

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A Labour spokesperson said: “The Labour Party takes all allegations of anti-Semitism, racism, bullying, intimidation and candidate misconduct very seriously.“Investigations are currently underway into the conduct of individual Young Labour Party members. All relevant evidence will be considered.”

The Mancunion contacted 17 Labour MPs for comment on this story. None were available for comment.

Updates to this story will be published throughout the week on our website:

www.mancunion.com

Continued from page one.... highest number of staff paid above £100,000 in the country. Dr Adam Ozanne, President of UMUCU, questioned at the rally how the university could struggle to pay those at the bottom while continuing to pay more than 100 staff more than £100,000.

Protesters talked of feeling “undervalued” by university management.

Unison, who represent the catering staff, have been in talks with UMC since March, while staff have been told that the cuts are due to the financial pressures the company are facing.

However according to the leaked e-mails back in March, the company turned a loss of £114,554 in 2013/14 into a profit of £164,362 in 2014/15. It has also since been claimed by workers for UMC that the company has made a profit of almost £1.5 million over a four-year period.

Sean Gibson, Unison North West Regional Organiser, told the Manchester Evening News: “The proposed restructure would be damaging to students and to staff.

“Some of our members are sole breadwinners and their families will suffer if their working hours and incomes are cut.

“It was welcome news for staff when UMC decided to introduce the full living wage across campus in February, but this restructure would mean that UMC would be giving with one hand and taking with the other.”

Hannah McCarthy, Campaigns & Citizenship Officer at Manchester University Students’ Union, who helped to organise the rally, in a statement prior to the demo said: “I am appalled be the university’s complete Head Lifestyle Editor: Eva Katz Deputy Lifestyle Editor: Alice Williams mancunion.life@gmail.com Head Music Editor: Henry Scanlan Deputy Music Editors: Matthew Staite, Rob Paterson music@mancunion.com

disregard and contempt for the staff who work here. That’s why I’m joining Thursday’s demo to demand that they receive no job losses, no pay cuts and are brought in-house to be treated with the dignity and respect that they deserve.”

McCarthy also told The Mancunion, in response to the claims that staff were threatened with pay deductions: “I’m appalled to hear the news that management have allegedly threatened catering staff with pay docking if attempting to exercise the right to protest in order to save there jobs. This merely gives more proof, if ever was needed, that management merely see pound signs on a spreadsheets, as opposed to the human lives that they are systematically ruining with these horrific redundancies and pay cuts.”

A University of Manchester spokesperson did not respond to the alleged threats to staff in attendance at the rally of a deduction in pay, stating only that a “consultation is ongoing between UMC Ltd and UNISON over a restructure of University catering operations on campus (FoodOnCampus) and in residences (FoodInResidence).

“A voluntary severance scheme was opened on 11th March for impacted staff and applications are being taken up to and including 29th April.

“In addition to this, any other catering vacancies that arise have been reserved in order to provide potential opportunities for affected staff.

“The University hopes to successfully conclude this process early in the summer.”

The Mancunion is the official student newspaper of the University of Manchester., established in 1969 with a readership of around 20,000. It is printed weekly for 20 editions and is distributed across campus and the city.

Head Sport Editor: Will Kelly Deputy Sport Editor: Harry Newton sport@mancunion.com

All writers are volunteers and new contributors are always welcome. You can get involved by turning up to a meeting, the times of which are listed on the Mancunion website’s Join page.

Books Editor: Yasmin Mannan books@mancunion.com

the University of Manchester.

Games Editor: Josh Goldie games@mancunion.com Theatre Editor: Elise Gallagher theatre@mancunion.com Arts Editor: Ashley McGovern arts@mancunion.com Head of Photography: Hannah Brierley Photographers: Ege Okyar, Przemek Piwek, Thomas Chan, Avinash Kumar, Daniel Saville, Kayleigh Brook mancunion.photography@gmail.com

We gladly accept contributors from outside

The Mancunion is part of the Manchester Media Group, along with Fuse FM and Fuse TV. This body encompasses all of the Union’s official media outlets, and organises training, outside speakers, and social events for Manchester students interested in student media.

If you have any comments, questions, or complaints, or would like to contribute, please e-mail the Editor-in-chief or Deputy Editor-in-chief.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Highlights

Letter from the Editor-in-chief

News 3

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

LSE accused of evicting a student with mental health difficulties

Gemma Sowerby Chief Subeditor

The London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) Residential Services were recently accused of evicting a student from their Halls of Residence following their decision to interrupt their studies as a result of acute mental illness.

This decision was reported to have been taken by university staff from the Residential Services and Disability and Wellbeing Services at the prestigious London university, despite this going against the advice of two seperate NHS professionals, LSE Students’ Union officers, and the wishes of the student in question.

The university’s weekly online publication, The Beaver , which broke the story, said, “This incident further tarnishes the school’s already poor record on mental health support and recognition.”

The student decided to interrupt their studies as a result of being hospitalised with severe mental health problems, and according The Beaver the School informed them that as they were no longer a student for the 2015-16 academic year, they would be evicted.

The LSE Students’ Union’s Community and Welfare Officer, Aysha Fekaki, made contact with the Residential Services and the Disability and Wellbeing Services on behalf of the student, and waited 16 days for a response, despite contacting them several times. When the student finally received a reply, it came in the form of an immediate eviction notice.

The decision is said to have “followed standard School procedure” without taking into consideration the specific circumstances of this student. Moreover, the order came despite warnings from Students’ Union Officers that the student did not have the option to return home and thus would be left homeless.

The Beaver was privy to correspondance that led SU Officers to declare the School’s attitude “somewhat hostile”, as they displayed a distinct lack of understanding of the student’s health issues, even overturning an extension given to the student by the Chief Operating Officer of LSE. Moreover, the Halls Warden system has been called into question after it appears they did little to help the student in need before or during their sudden hospitalisation.

The LSE Students’ Union Wellbeing Officer, Aysha Fekaki, spoke to The Beaver : “The general process that I had gone through in order to get this answer in the first place was extremely frustrat-

ing and worrying given that there is an over demand for these services in the first place. I had contacted seven different people within the School who all referred me to each other for an answer over the two week period. How can students be put through this when they are reaching out for support?

Photo: jiehwen @Flickr

“When speaking with Residential Life, we were told that they need to support other students who are actually staying at LSE and well enough to do their exams and that they cannot support everyone. The staff member expressed directly to the student that they want to ‘see a healthy [student] come back in the New Year and finish their exams like all other students do at LSE’.

This to me was not only a huge contradiction, but a complete lack of understanding of mental health difficulties that student’s experience [sic].

This was a complete failing both institutionally and personally to the detriment of the student. Both Residential Life and the Disability and Wellbeing Service has not contacted the student since [sic].”

A petition posted online in support of the student, which had over 1,000 signatures but has since been deleted, asked several demands of the School in order to address the issues that had

come to light. Elaborating on this, Fekaki adds: “We call upon LSE to urgently take action in ensuring all students working through mental health issues are guaranteed accommodation, financial support and mental health support in finding services that meet their specific needs. We call upon the school to immediately centralise welfare services both physically and administratively to have one point of contact to reduce the stress and anxiety faced by students”.

The petition also called upon staff working in student services to “undertake training in mental health immediately. It is time LSE recognised their duty of care towards current and interrupting students.”

The LSE Students’ Union (LSESU) has since released the following statement: “In recent weeks, LSE Students’ Union has been in dialogue with the School to address the concerns raised regarding a student with mental health difficulties being left effectively homeless on Thursday 24th March.”

LSESU representatives met with LSE’s Chief Operating Officer, Andrew Young to discuss the issue. As a result, they announced that the School “will offer specialised support and assistance for the student in question, including pre-existing access to support from the Student Welfare team; arrange a series of meetings between LSESU representatives, the LSE Head of Student Services and the LSE Chief Operating Officer.

These changes were announced to begin this week and they also promised to “discuss the efficacy of the processes currently in place to address acute student welfare issues, with a view to delivering an improved student experience and fully engaging LSESU elected Officers as necessary”. They also plan to “work with LSESU to agree ways of ensuring that students in crisis can access emergency accommodation when facing extenuating circumstances; Work with LSESU to conduct a full review into ‘interruption of study’ and the policies associated with it, with a focus on improving support for students.”

The statement from the Union added: “In light of ongoing student dissatisfaction regarding LSE’s mental health support, we are very encouraged to see that the School is taking proactive steps to support the student concerned as well as an organisational review of support provided to students during their time here.

“We hope that, through effective cooperation between LSESU and the School to prioritise student welfare, instances like these can be prevented in the future.”

Candidate for NUS President accused of anti-Semitism

With NUS elections a week away, Malia Bouattia, a candidate for NUS President, has been accused of anti-Semitism and viewing the large Jewish student population as an issue Jennifer Sterne Head News Editor Malia Bouattia, the NUS Black Students’ Officer and one of the candidates for NUS president, has been sent an open letter from Jewish Societies at Universities across the country, including the University of Manchester’s JSoc. The letter, signed by 47 presidents of Jewish Societies, addresses extreme concerns over Malia’s “past rhetoric” and a desire for “immediate answers considering [her] candidacy for NUS President in next week’s election”.

They reference an article co-written by Malia in 2011 where she refers to the University of Birmingham as a “Zionist outpost” and that it had the “largest [Jewish Society] in the country”, whilst describing the challenge she was facing at the time.

The Presidents argued that with 8,500 Jewish students in the UK, which is 0.12% of the student body represented by NUS, it was shocking that “someone who is seeking to represent this organisation could possibly see a large Jewish student population as a challenge and not something to be welcomed.”

They add that they “fear that comments such as these will only hamper the amazing interfaith relations present on campuses across the country. Describing large Jewish societies as a challenge is the politics of division and not solidarity which should be the case.”

According to the letter the comments from 2011 are not isolated, claiming that just recently Malia explained at an event at SOAS that the government’s Prevent strategy is the result of a “Zionist lobby”. The letter argues that “by peddling these conspiracy theories to student audiences we are concerned that you are creating an element of suspicion towards Jewish students on campus.”

Finally they also raise concern over Malia’s relationship with Raza Nadim and the Muslim Public Affairs Committee (MPACUK). MPACUK were no-platformed by the NUS in 2004 after publishing posts on their website which promoted the idea of a worldwide Zionist conspiracy.

Raza Nadim used his Facebook account to endorse Malia’s campaign to be NUS President, to which Malia according to the

letter thanked Nadim for the endorsement. The letter asks Malia to “clarify her relationship with MPACUK and its spokesperson Raza Nadim” and questions whether if elected she would continue “to interact with an organisation NUS has no-platformed due to antisemitism”.

Malia has since responded to the letter where she responds directly to the suggestion that she sees the large Jewish society as a problem, claiming that she does not “now, nor did I five years ago when I contributed to the article cited in your letter, see a large Jewish Society on campus as a problem”. She adds that she celebrates “the ability of people and students of all backgrounds to get together and express their backgrounds and faith openly and positively, and will continue to do so”.

She adds a clarification that taking “issue with Zionist politics, is not me taking issue with being Jewish. In fact, Zionist politics are held by people from a variety of different backgrounds and faiths, as are anti-Zionist politics. It is a political argument, not one of faith. We should be allowed to disagree on politics without this being a threat to the solidarity of the student movement.

Debate and disagreement are vital to any healthy democracy.”

In response to the allegations that she claimed Prevent was a result of a “Zionist lobby”, she admits she “criticised the influence of organisations such as the Henry Jackson Society over policy making in the UK. I described it as promoting neo-con and proZionist policies. In no way did I—or would I—link these positions to Jewish people, but to a particular (non-Jewish) organisation. I am alarmed that you have drawn a link between criticism of Zionist ideologies and anti-Semitism.”

Malia denies that she holds any relationship with MPACUK and Raza Nadim, stating: “I do not have a relationship, in any shape or form, with this organisation or the individual in question. I have always and will continue to respect and uphold NUS’ No Platform Policy.”

Explaining the Facebook post from Nadim she says: “I have a public facebook page with nearly 5,000 ‘friends’ on it, many of whom have posted supportive messages to my wall. In all honesty, I was not aware of who Mr Nadim was or his position when he posted to my wall and responded in the same way I would to any post.”

Malia expresses in her response deep concern “that my faith

and political views are being misconstrued and used as an opportunity to falsely accuse me of antisemitism, despite my work and dedication to liberation, equality and inclusion saying otherwise.” Concluding her response by stating that as president of NUS, she “would continue to encourage students to oppose inequality, oppression—including racism—and injustice both at home and abroad”.

Photo Malia Bouattia Facebook

20 16

Have you received inspirational teaching or outstanding support from University staff this year?

Why not nominate your lecturer, graduate teaching assistant or support staff for a Manchester Teaching Award?

Guidance and nomination forms available at www.manchesterstudentsunion.com/teachingawards

News 5

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Student activist forms new democracy party in Hong Kong

Wong gained public recognition through ‘the umbrella movement’ and seeks to protest the One Country, Two Systems policy with his newly-formed party Rossy Natale Reporter Joshua Wong, the famed pro-democracy activist in Hong Kong, has announced the launch of a new political party entitled Demosito. Wong has been a key leader in a growing pro-democracy movement in Hong Kong.

At only 19, his platform has achieved most strikingly a large amount of student support.

A student at the Open University of Hong Kong, Wong first gained publicity for being a key leader in the ‘umbrella movement’, a prodemocracy movement that gained support after Wong’s publicised arrest. urrently, Hong Kong is operating under the ‘One country, two systems’ policy. Under this policy, regions of China are allowed to maintain their own capitalistic economies and political systems, but issues arose in 2014 over proposed electoral reforms for Hong Kong that seemed to be challenging the independence of the region.

The umbrella movement, which called for action against the proposed changes, manifested in dozens of protests all throughout the world in September 2014, including a protest in Manchester’s Piccadilly Gardens. The University of Manchester currently has more than 400 students who are from Hong Kong, many of whom participated in the protest.

“In the umbrella revolution,” a Hong Kong native currently studying at the University of Warwick tells The Mancunion , “there were a lot of participants [that] are teenagers.” The

student, who has requested anonymity, explains that “in Hong Kong, young people don’t really care about politics… When he [Wong] started talking politics, more teenagers noticed.” “[Wong] can encourage teenagers to be involved more and show others that not only those who are middle aged have the right to give and opinion about politics.

“I think a democracy party could help enhance the political situation” the Warwick student adds, “as more opinions are better for a new policy.”

Wong himself is too young to run for a seat in the council elections that will take place this September, but he will nonetheless be a main figure in the party as the General Secretary.

Wong will serve as the Secretary of the party which advocates for political revolution through non-violence. The manifesto of the party is based on allowing citizens of Hong Kong to decide the fate of their territory after the ‘one country, two systems’ agreement expires in 2047.

Another Hong Kong native, who now studies at the University of Manchester, tells The Mancunion: “His intentions are noble, but [it] will be a struggle. Hong Kong is a part of China and to trying to gain any voice or power for the Hong Kong people will be an astronomical challenge.

“To accomplish his vision, he will tear the Hong Kong people apart and in the short-term may cause more damage than good.”

Same sex schools ‘ill-prepared’ to deal with transgender pupils Elizabeth Oakley Reporter Delegates at the Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) Conference on Tuesday 5th April 2016 were told that more must be done to equip teachers in dealing with transgender pupils, especially in same sex schools. This comes at a time when more pupils are ‘coming out but are unsupported by their schools and staff.

Graham Easterlow, a drama teacher at an all boys school in North Yorkshire, spoke about one of his pupils coming out as a transgender female. He was quick to discover that there was “no precedence” and “no process,” leading him to believe that “schools are ill-prepared” and that “there is a blind spot on [this] particular issue.”

Mr. Eastlow also commented on the fact that some older members of staff refused to acknowledge the transition of the pupil, suggesting that the school was “pandering to a fad.” In an attempt to overcome negative and unhelpful attitudes, the Conference wanted to “deplore the paucity of meaningful and informed discussion of gender identity and trans issues within schools and colleges” in order to ensure staff are well-informed in dealing with future cases.

Adaptations to facilities are also seen as an important step in acknowledging the needs of transgender students. The Intercom Trust, an LGBT community resource centre in Dorset, maintains that the use of toilets and changing facilities are often a cause for concern because this is where trans pupils “may find themselves in vulnerable situations…where they could fall victim to unwanted attention that could (if escalated), lead to sexual bullying, assault, or other physical or emotional harm.”

The Trust also notes that members of the transgender community should be “seen and treated as a member of their true gender.”

Nick, a 15-year-old from South East England, spoke about his experience of transitioning while at an all-girls school to the Huffington

Post . He said that he remembers “the deputy head telling [her] that she rang every school in the area to ask for information about the subject but no one could help her.”

He also recalls the time that he was told by a senior member of staff to “just be a lesbian and transition when [he] left school.” While Nick is appreciative of the support of the majority of the staff, he is still forced to use female toilets at school because there are no male toilets available for pupils. He describes this as being “uncomfortable” for both him and the girls, especially on ‘own clothes day’ when he is “perceived as male.”

Photo: AIGA@Wikimedia Commons

Teachers at the ATL Conference spoke of “breaking with tradition” by introducing new provisions in schools, such as gender-neutral changing facilities and uniforms. The Conference held that teachers have a “duty to promote equality” and that facility amendments should be treated in a similar way to accommodations made for disabled pupils.

Mr. Eastlow later pronounced: “I long for a point where it just doesn’t matter who you love, it doesn’t matter how you identify, but that in schools we get the best education to the young people that we can and for them to achieve the best they can be.”

Photo: Thierry Ehrmann @flickr

Peeking pervert perturbing pooing people punished Alexandra Bickell Reporter David Brown, a 45-year-old PhD student studying in Manchester, has been put on the Sex Offenders Register for 5 years for spying on a man going to the toilet. He has also received a yearlong community order, a £60 victim surcharge and a bill for £300 for judicial costs.

The incident took place in the library toilets of Manchester Metropolitan University on January 17th of this year, although Brown does not attend this institution. The victim, who has not been named, was sitting in a cubicle in the men’s toilets of the library at around 3:30pm when he heard shuffling noises coming from nearby. These sounds were later identified as Brown climbing on the toilet in the next door cubicle.

The prosecutor, Robin Lynch, stated that the target “looked up and saw a male looking down at him.” The victim gave chase, following Brown out of the library, but could not catch him.

The man rushed to tell members of the library security team, who were subsequently able to find Brown using CCTV footage and the swipe card entry system of the library. Brown was then arrested by police but protested his in-

nocence. Prosecutor Lynch claims that Brown stated he had been made a victim himself, of a “racially aggravated offence”, although this account was later dismissed.

As a part of the arrest, Brown’s laptop, tablet and phone were all seized and searched, but nothing incriminating or related to the crime was found on the devices. However, he was found to have 13 prior convictions, including offences for ‘dishonesty’ in 2014, which will have been taken into account when sentencing him.

The victim has reported feeling “worried” when using public toilets since the incident occurred and the judge involved with the case agreed. District Judge John Temperley said in court on the 6th April at Manchester Magistrates’ Court that “it was an upsetting incident for the individual concerned”, as he found Brown guilty of one count of voyeurism, specifically “observing a person doing a private act for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification.”

Brown’s community order will likely severely restrict his movements and activities, whilst being on the Sex Offender Register will mean that Brown will be obligated keep police informed of personal details, such as addresses and vehicle number plates, at all times.

News

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ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Newly developed genetic blood test could help diagnose liver disease A research team from Newcastle has developed a test to diagnose liver scarring before occurrence of symptoms Tori Blakeman Senior Science Reporter Newcastle medics and scientists have revealed a novel new genetic blood test that can reveal signs of liver scarring, known as fibrosis, before symptoms are presented.

Publishing in the scientific journal GUT , the team describe how variations in DNA of the genes controlling scarring can reveal the severity of fibrosis for people with Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD).

These genetic changes can be determined in a blood analysis, by detecting chemical changes of “cell-free” DNA that are released into the blood when liver cells are damaged.

Dr Jelena Mann of Newcastle University’s Institute for Cellular Medicine, and senior author of the published paper, said: “This is the first time that a DNA methylation ‘signature’ from the blood has been

shown to match the severity of a liver disease.

“It opens up the possibility of an improved blood test for liver fibrosis in the future.”

NAFLD affects one in three people in the UK, and is usually caused by being overweight or having diabetes. If left unnoticed, NAFLD can progress to liver failure, with patients often requiring a liver transplant.

Dr Quentin Anstee, Senior clinical lecturer and Consultant Hepatologist within Newcastle Hospitals, added: “This scientific breakthrough has great promise because the majority of patients show no symptoms.

“Routine blood tests can’t detect scarring of the liver and even more advanced noninvasive tests can really only detect scarring at a late stage when it is nearing cirrhosis.

“We currently have to rely on liver biopsy to measure fibrosis at its early stages—by examining a piece of the liver

under the microscope.

“We know that the presence of even mild fibrosis of the liver predicts a worse long-term outcome for patients with NAFLD and so it’s important to be able to detect liver scarring at an early stage.”

The research was carried out by the Newcastle team in response to the problems faced by an ageing population. The Tyneside medics and scientists are hailing their discovery as a breakthrough, because early detection of NAFLD will then hopefully lead to a reduction in severe liver diseases in the UK. The research was supported by Newcastle Academic Health Partners: A partnership between Newcastle University, Newcastle Upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, Northumberland NHS Foundation Trust, and Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust.

The new test can detect liver scarring before conditions such as cirrhosis emerge. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

App launched by University of Manchester scientists to better understand seasonal allergies

Scientists from the University of Manchester are inviting people to get involved with one of the biggest experiments they have ever conducted in a bid to improve understanding of seasonal allergies Alina Shrourou Science Reporter An allergy occurs when the body’s immune system responds to something harmless that does not require an immune response. Currently, 1 in 4 people have an allergy, a ratio that was not as high in previous years and is still rising. Based on current projections, in 10 years over half of us will have an allergy.

However, the exact reason for this increase is currently unknown. Possible explanations include cleaner lifestyles, a change in pollutant exposure in the environment, changes in the types of crops we grow producing different types of pollens, or a combination of these factors.

Sufferers of seasonal allergies (such as hay fever or asthma) will have experienced how irritating and sometimes unpredictable these allergies can be.

With the frequency of seasonal allergies increasing, scientists from the University of Manchester’s Faculty of Life Sciences, Faculty of Medical and Human Sciences, and School of Computer Science, have joined with the British Society for Immunology and the Royal Society of Biology to set up a project with an aim

of achieving a better understanding of seasonal allergies.

In order to collect data for this experiment, the scientists have launched an app named #BritainBreathing, which they are encouraging as many people to join and contribute to scientific research as possible.

The research team have not only asked seasonal allergy sufferers within the public to help them collect results, but Photo: BritBreathing @Twitter

also used their help to develop the app. Dr Sheena Cruickshank, Senior Lecturer in Immunology at the University of Manchester told The Mancunion : “We have involved the public from the outset with this project in order to not only consult about it but also to co-design the features of the app to ensure it is useful to the allergy community.”

Through the app, partici-

pants are asked to enter information about their allergy symptoms, such as details about how their eyes, nose and breathing are affected on a particular time of day in their current location.

This data will then be safely shared anonymously with researchers at the University of Manchester, where the research team will collate the data from #BritainBreathing

with other available sources – like weather and pollution data - in order to work out what factors are contributing to allergy symptoms.

Aside from helping scientists, the app can also be useful for participants because it can improve individual knowledge about personal allergies through a personal tracking facility on the app.

Professor Andy Brass from the School of Computer Science told The Mancunion : “It allows you to reflect upon your own symptoms and therefore help identify what the triggers might be. You can also see whether what you are feeling is common to other people in your area, which might give a clue as to the trigger.”

Overall, it’s a very exciting project that will help a lot of people both short and long term. Dr Lamiece Hassan, Patient and Public Involvement and Governance Research Officer from the Faculty of Medical and Human Sciences, commented on her involvement in the project.

She told The Mancunion : “I’m really excited to be part of such a great team, including our partners at the British Society for Immunology and the Royal Society of Biology.

Digital technology is part of our everyday lives now and

that brings huge opportunities for gathering data on a massscale for researchers like me.

On a personal level, I’ve been accused of being addicted to technology, so I really like the idea that your smartphone could help to improve your health.

“Health is important to everyone, so everyone has a stake in scientific research. By working with the public, researchers are more likely to ask the right research questions and produce work that is relevant, useful and has real-world impact.

“One of the strengths of #BritainBreathing is that it is ‘codesigned citizen science’: We held workshops right at the beginning where 35 people with allergies helped to design versions of the app using pens, paper, mock phones and glue.

Lots of fun and hugely informative. You can see evidence of their designs in the final version of the #BritainBreathing app.”

The #BritainBreathing app is now available for download on Android from the Google Play store, and an iPhone version is being developed. For more information about the project, visit: www.britainbreathing.org

Global 7

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

In theThenews this week... important and interesting stories from the wider world this week.

Stories by: Charlie Spargo, Marcus Johns, Merle Streck, Joe C. Evans, & Andy van den Bent-Kelly

Bake Off winner to make cake fit for royalty

UK This Thursday, winner of 2015’s Great British Bake Off Nadiya Hussain will personally deliver the Queen’s 90th birthday cake.

Hussain, from Leeds, stormed to victory last year riding a wave of popularity and regularly appearing on British television ever since.

The reigning ‘Bake Off Queen’ will be delivering the reigning Queen of the Realm an orange drizzle cake with orange curd and orange buttercream, telling ITV’s Loose Women that it would be “very citrusy.”

She further revealed that her daughter, when told her mother would be baking for the Queen, thought that she was referring to Bake Off Judge and baking superstar Mary Berry.

Following Hussain’s regal final showstopper challenge, her Big Fat British Wedding cake, Hussain will be revealing her royal showstopper at Windsor Castle’s Guildhall on the Queen’s birthday later this week.

A very costly error US “I am sorry to say but you just nuked your entire company.”

Marco Marsala ran a hosting provider and used an IT automation programme called Ansible. While working on the code for his business he entered the command ‘rm –rf’. ‘rm’ instructs the computer to remove. ‘r’ deletes the contents of a selected directory and the ‘f’ forces the computer to ignore the usual delete warnings. In other words, Marsala mistakenly wiped his entire servers because he failed to specify what areas to aim the code at, removing his company from the web as well as his clients’ websites.

He posted a question on Server Fault, a server expert forum, asking how he could reverse the command and recover his data. Unfortunately since he had no external backups, the advice mostly took the form of condolences for irreversibly losing his entire company and advising him to contact his lawyer.

Is that you Nessy?

UK A team of Loch Ness Monster hunters were left with nothing to show but disappointment after what they thought was Nessie turned out to be a prop from a the filming of a 1970’s Sherlock Holmes film.

The prop had not been seen since the 1970s filming and was discovered by the teams marine robot which is being used to explore previously uncharted territory up to 1500m in the Ness.

The group found the 30ft model while performing a two week survey deemed “Operation Groundtruth” of Loch Ness funded by the Loch Ness Project and VisitScotland.

The project aimed to find the Loch Ness monsters hidden ‘lair’ which was believed to be in an abnormally deep part of the water. This occurred in response to a fisherman a few weeks prior claiming he had found a crevice in the Ness that seemed large enough to house the monster itself. So far, the group has had no success in finding the trench.

End of the line UK The man whose voice could be recognised by train commuters across Britain died from cancer last Thursday.

Iconic voiceover artist Phil Sayer, 62, was best known for the “Mind the gap” announcements on the London Underground, but also did many of the announcements at railway stations across the country.

His wife announced his passing on Facebook. “Phil Sayer – voice of reason, radio, and railways. A dearly loved husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle and friend. We are sorry to announce that this service terminates here.”

In Science this week...

Science by: Andy van den Bent-Kelly

Hawking backs computer sized spacecraft to reach nearest star in 30 years Stephen Hawking has joined Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in pledging his backing to a project which aims to send tiny spacecraft to another solar system in just a few decades.

The £70m programme, established by Russian billionaire Yuri Milner, will see “starships” the size of a computer ship propelled away from the Earth by a giant laser, enabling them to reach speeds far greater than conventional propulsion methods allow. Each ship would have a solar sail and the boost from the laser could send them off at 20 per cent of the speed of light.

The nearest star system to our own is a mind-boggling 25 trillion miles away. Travelling to it using current technology would take an equally astonishing 30,000 years. However, it is believed that this newly proposed technology could see the tiny spacecraft complete the journey in a mere 30 years.

Several high profile figures in the field have lent their support, which is being led by former NASA director Dr Pete Worden. Although the technology is a still a long way off, the researchers involved are confident that these craft can reach the stars within the next generation.

Once there, the starships will use miniaturised cameras, sensors and instruments to obtain data to send it back to Earth.

He’s reading what?

US A man apparently reading books on public transport with some highly questionable titles has revealed he is a prankster fooling the internet.

Comedian Scott Rogowsky showed real moxie being photographed and filmed on the subway reading (faked) books such as ‘Mein Kampf For Kids’(with a foreword by Roald Dahl), ‘Slut-shaming your baby’, and a book featuring George W. Bush’s face on the cover, titled ‘If I did it: How I would have done 9/11’.

Other covers range from bizarre to the slightly sickening.

He has revealed he prints the detailed book cover fakes to see the reaction that fellow subway riders have to his choice in literature, which were filmed in a video for British comedy site Chortle.

An explosive disaster Pakistan A case in a Pakistani court house ended in disaster when a judge asked a policeman if “he knew how grenades worked.”

The unnamed policeman pulled out the pin of a live hand grenade in response, which subsequently exploded. The grenade was brought to court as evidence in a criminal trial, but—unbeknownst to the policeman—had not been defused.

The policeman, the judge, and a court clerk have all been injured and are recovering in hospital. The policeman will face disciplinary action when he recovers from his blast-related injuries.

Police suspected a terrorist attack and surrounded the courts following the explosion.

Buzz Lightyear gets license

UK Buzz Lightyear from Devon has been given permission to use his name on his driving license.

The DVLA had refused to issue Lightyear with a license because the name was that of a fictional character, which would ring the DVLA into disrepute if used abroad.

Officially changing his name via deed poll in April 2016 from Sam Stephens, he raised over £2000 for childhood and young people’s cancer support charity, CLIC Sargent, whilst running the Brighton Marathon.

Lightyear is unashamed to own a large swathe of Toy Story memorabilia, telling the Metro that: “Buzz Lightyear is a childhood hero of mine.”

Given that his legal name change was accepted by deed poll, his appeal to the DVLA was eventually successful and he was issued with a driving license in the name of Buzz Lightyear.

Buzz Lightyear’s official identity is not without problems to infinity and beyond, however, as he frequently finds his bookings and reservations cancelled by business thinking that he is pranking them.

A snappy story, there is a big alligator US A giant 800-pound, 15-feet alligator was discovered by Lee Lightsey, the owner of Outwest Farms in Okeechobee, Florida.

The creature was found devouring Lightsey’s cows. Footage of the giant gator has been widely shared on social media, with the post reading: “Lee Lightsey and I had the pleasure of doing a guided gator hunt this morning and killed the largest gator we have ever killed in the wild!! He measured out at just under 15 foot!!” The reactions to the photos have varied with some people arguing that alligator could “feed tons of homeless people if it isn’t kept by the hunters. I’d guess a good 200 lbs worth…easy.”

Former banker turns self into “dragon” USA A former banker has undergone extensive cosmetic surgery in a bid to turn herself into a dragon.

Eva Tiamut Medusa, a 55 year old from Arizona, recently underwent surgery to remove both her ears and her nose. She already has a forked tongue, a full face tattoo, eye colouring and “horns” implanted onto her forehead.

Tiamut, as she prefers to be known, originally identified as a man, Richard Hernandez. Her transition began in the 1990s and can be seen in photographs that she has published online.

Her tattoos now cover a large part of her body, including her entire face. Her eyes are stained green to resemble Medusa.

Tiamut explains her identity on her website: “I am the Dragon Lady, a pre-op M2F (male to female) transgender in the process of morphing into a human dragon, becoming a reptoid as I shed my human skin and my physical appearance and my life as a whole leaving my humanness behind.”

Surgery streamed via virtual reality technology An operation at the Royal London Hospital has become the first to be streamed live in 360-degree video, with some viewers able to watch the procedure with a virtual reality headset.

Medical students, trainee surgeons and members of the general public were able to watch Dr Shafi Ahmed remove cancerous tissue from a patient’s bowel. The operation was shot with two 360-degree cameras and multiple lenses and was streamed online, as well as to VR headsets.

A one minute delay was incorporated into the video. It is helped that the technology can be expanded into proper surgical training schemes.

Effects of LSD on brain finally revealed The impact of LSD on the human brain has been revealed by scans of people high on the drug.

20 volunteers were invited to a clinic on two days. On one of the days they were injected with a dose of the psychedelic substance, on the other they were given a placebo instead.

The results show that LSD causes users to experience images through information from multiple parts of the brain, not just the conventional visual cortex. Regions of the brain that are normally segregated interact under this influence, and conversely regions that normally form networks become more separated.

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ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

“There are a lot in this world: why

Photo: erokism @Flickr

We sat down for a philosophical and introspective journey through the life, work, city, and inspiration of Manchester-based graffiti artist Kelzo Liam Kelly Features Editor Graffiti and street art can be found wherever you go in Manchester, especially in the city centre and areas such as Hulme and Moss Side.

Whether it is the ever-evolving exhibition that adorns the Out House project in Stevenson Square, or tags that are found on buildings or bridges, paint—some put there legally, some not—surrounds us in Manchester.

A totemic figure in the Manchester scene is the enigmatic Tony, also known as Kelzo (styled kELzO), who is, without doubt, the most interesting person that I have been able to interview in my nascent career as a journalist.

‘Interview’ in this instance should be taken in the loosest possible sense of the word: in the hour that we spent together, I cannot have spoken for more than a couple of minutes cumulatively. I went in with a long list of questions, but I need not have bothered writing any. Kelzo answered all of them, and many, many more besides, during our conversation with minimal prompting.

Kelzo is a fascinating figure, whose work and travels have led to him meeting the likes of Banksy (first meeting before “the hype” started around 2002), Snoop Dogg, BBC broadcaster Kate Adey, and Steve Coogan (who, in a photograph he shows me, looks a little worse for wear).

He has been in the graffiti game for more than 30 years, and his career has taken him from painting murals on the walls of Hulme in the mid-1980s, to working for the BBC and various commercial institutions, to charity work in aid of a local hospital.

We meet in peculiar circumstances—just after 11am, outside All Saints’ Park by MMU on a bitterly cold March morning—before making our way to a chicken shop across on Oxford Road, by the Mancunian Way overpass.

Apparently Kelzo is a regular, greeting the manager warmly and purchasing a fried chicken sandwich. As a result of the unappealing weather, we decide not to venture outside and explore the city’s outdoor graffiti, as we had tentatively planned.

Instead, we get settled at a table and start talking.

Kelzo cuts a striking figure with his matching salt and pepper close-cropped hair and

beard, and is dressed wearing an old hoodie, tattered jeans and a scarf, as, after our interview, he is creating a background for a music video.

One of the few questions I was able to ask Kelzo during our time together was how and why he got into practicing graffiti art in the first place. Little did I know that I was about to be taken on a socio-political tour of Manchester’s history, the history of graffiti culture, and the general state of the world and culture.

He answers by talking me through the deprivation that surrounded him in Hulme and Moss Side, places that he has lived in all his life: “Poverty was rife. You don’t see it much today because we live in a middle class world. The poor stay indoors, so to speak.

Years ago they used to dominate the streets.

“It got out of control, and there was a lot of crime going on. But I got into graffiti art when I was 14, because the hip-hop culture had just arrived from New York, and when graffiti and hip hop and all that was discovered by the youth, it was a breath of fresh air, because it was new to us.

“We were writing on things we shouldn’t have been doing—but we weren’t killing anyone.

And there were a lot of people killing people.

And there were a lot of bad things going on.”

Whilst hip hop culture spawned his love of graffiti, Kelzo is scathing about what he considers the commercialisation of hip-hop. Kanye West—“the absolute epitome of piss-poor hiphop”—is singled out for particular criticism.

The essence of hip-hop, he says, it to raise children “to aspire to be great”—not the “fuck the police” attitude that is prevalent today.

Kelzo cites artists such as Rock Steady Crew and Universal Zulu Nation as being far better influences than the likes of West or N.W.A, stating: “If you surround yourself with good vibes and positive energy and all that kind of stuff—that’s how we should be educating young people.”

Despite the hardship that surrounded him during his early years, he looks back on it fondly: “That period of time in the 1980s with the working class culture and working class youth, it was fucking special, and it’s in my heart and soul and I’ve lived by the code of it all my life. So, I don’t hurt people, I don’t cause problems for people: peace, love and

unity are what comes from the hip hop culture.”

If deprivation and the influence of hip hop initially triggered his interest in graffiti art, the fact that Kelzo came of age whilst the Madchester music scene was at its zenith, a time of unparalleled cultural experimentation and excitement, added to his conception of art.

He is comfortable admitting that he experimented with hallucinogenics during this period, which he credits with giving him a new attitude towards the world: “I used to do it every

“We were writing on things we shouldn’t have—but we weren’t killing anyone.” day at one point, and it gave me a perception of another world and another vision of things.”

Being part of this creative milieu appears to have sparked an artistic surge in Kelzo, which saw him paint up to 400 murals in Hulme: “I walked out one day with this new mindset— older, more aware, more knowledgeable—and I looked at this piece of graffiti that I’d done five or six years earlier and I thought: ‘I’m fucking painting over you.’ And then I did, and I painted opposite it, and next to that, and opposite that.”

“People from all over the world came to see them”, whilst students from the nearby school of art would come to watch the works be created.

The Madchester scene—music, drugs and the rest—were life-affirming for Kelzo, and convinced him that doing graffiti was how he should spend

the rest of his life. During this period he “knew more about myself, I knew why I was here, and I knew my purpose. That’s why I continue to do it. Because you should never ever stop doing something you love. Even if someone says it’s wrong. So, that’s why I started it, and it’s why I live it. And that’s exactly what I do—everything about my life is based around graffiti art.”

Whilst it could be easy to dismiss this last claim as hyperbole, I’m inclined to believe Kelzo when he says his life revolves around graffiti. The art means far more to Kelzo than the paint on the wall—it’s something he loves, and is part of him. He also feels that young people, and society as a whole, would benefit from hobbies that require the focus and drive of graffiti.

“When we were 14 or 15 years of age, we had a love affair with letterform. And the manipulation of letterform. When you study people who sit down and do graffiti in their teenage years, they are so focused, and that’s the beautiful thing about it.

“If every one of us had something to do and something to live for that’s a good, positive thing, then the world wouldn’t be in the rut it is.”

Kelzo likens his early days of practicing graffiti and his quest for recognition with the vast advertising campaigns of corporate behemoths, such as McDonald’s, who “put their logos all over the world on bus stops everywhere, and I put ‘Kelzo’ everywhere. They put millions into doing that, and I put nothing into doing that.

“I’ve become known around the world for being a graffiti artist and a good guy, and they’re known for shit burgers and terrible diets. Even though they’re bigger than me, it’s the same concept—it’s about getting your name known.”

The idea that the graffiti artist’s name is of fundamental importance is a theme upon which Kelzo expands—indeed, he contends that names (or, more often, noms de guerre) are the real driving force behind graffiti, both old and new.

“The game of graffiti is Dick Turpin, it’s Robin Hood: break in, paint, leave, and become iconic in the world of graffiti. The culture of graffiti is to bang your name in the craziest of places. The important thing is that the people of the city—and the people who do graffiti—see it. It’s very egotistical.”

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ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

of grey walls

not paint them?”

However, part of the issue with this game graffiti artists play with one another (other than its at times dubious legality) is the fact that the general public do not tend to care for it, and this is a point Kelzo recognises: “If you woke up in the morning and saw a big ‘Kelzo’ outside your bedroom window, why should I expect you to want to see that?”

It is at this juncture that Kelzo makes clear what he sees as the distinction between street art and graffiti: “Street art connects with the general public, and it’s not a bad thing.”

For him, the difference between graffiti and street art appears to lie in the divergent mentalities of practitioners, as well as how the general public perceives their work. He also intimates that there is some tension between the two ‘schools’ of artist: “If you start painting walls pretty, and you’re really good—like me—some people will think: ‘Fuck you, it’s all about illegal, underground graffiti’.

“Now, because I’ve been doing graffiti since it first started in 1984, and I’ve had my own journey doing it legally and illegally, I don’t really care what other people think about me, because that’s

Kelzo’s artwork on Manchester café Koffee Pot. Photo: KylaBorg

Photo: erokism @Flickr

their problem, not mine. I don’t share that problem. I do my best to do good, and that’s my glory.”

Kelzo consciously places himself between these two camps: “I’m in-between, me. I still keep the graffiti, but I also throw in street art aspects.

So I do characters, backgrounds, buildings, and architecture—things to do with Manchester because I’m a Manchester person. It’s about adapting—I don’t want to walk around here going ‘Oh I’m Kelzo, yeah I’m Kelzo’—they’ll end up putting me in a funny farm.”

He reflects on his own work in as dispassionate a way as possible: “You’ve got to take the response from people towards you and you’ve got to take society into consideration outside of what you need, yeah? So, when I paint a bulldog DJ-ing in Stevenson Square, I know the kids on the buses that go through there will smile when they see it.

I’m helping people who might feel down to feel a bit happier.”

He traces the genesis of street art to Banksy’s rise to prominence at the start of this century, and the enigmatic Bristolian created more than a dozen street art pieces in Manchester, though the majority have been lost as part of the city’s urban

regeneration programme (there is one still extant, on Tib Street, “but you can’t really see it any more because everyone’s written on the plastic that covers it”).

Banksy’s art installations, which attract worldwide attention whenever a new piece appears and whose ‘Dismaland’ theme park attracted 150,000 visitors in just two months, has really brought street art to the masses, something Kelzo waxes lyrical about: “The world is captivated by street art, because it always offers a dish of beautiful art that they can understand. They might not agree with it, but they can certainly understand it. So, that’s why street art today is given the big thumbs up, because it always has an end product.

“It is going to get every form of credit, because you are going out and put your thing on the wall that is enjoyable for everybody else.”

Kelzo goes on: “There’s always a purpose for street art; people always admire it. If you do a pair of 100ft tall coppers kissing like Banksy does and stuff like that, then people will warm to the concept of it.”

“The game of graffiti is Dick Turpin, it’s Robin Hood: break in, paint, leave, and become iconic.”

Despite his obvious affection for his friend Banksy, Kelzo claims that he does not “find the urgency to commit my life to spreading the news of negative, political debate” in the same vein as Banksy.

He cites as an example Banksy’s stencil of “a sniper in North London with a kid behind it with an airbag going ‘BANG!’” Though Kelzo sees the humour in the piece, he tells me that if “I walk down Tottenham Court Road and out of the corner of my eye I can see a police sniper, and then have to look up to see that it’s a silhouette—that’s negativity.”

Kelzo outlined how he would like to see the influence of graffiti and street art expand beyond its confines in city centres and move away from always being overtly political, musing: “There are a lot of grey walls in this world, and there are a lot of walls that have no purpose other than to hold something up; like motorway bridges in the middle of the countryside. Loads of bridges like that.

“Why not paint them? Why not allow people who travel past on the train to go past and see street art? Does it clash with the countryside? The countryside has its own natural beauty, so I can understand if people don’t agree with that. But grey concrete is still grey concrete.”

He also focuses on what he would do in Manchester more specifically: “I think Metrolinks in Manchester would look beautiful painted, as long as you can see out of the window. I think it would be a great thing if the people of Manchester painted them. I think the big wall that’s in Piccadilly Gardens should be painted every month by artists from all over the world. When you live in a world where Metrolinks are clean, and you’re not allowed to do it, it just gets very stagnant and grey. Life should be about colour, it should be about creativity.”

Despite his art—and the genre to which it belongs being more popular than ever—earning him more than enough money to be comfortable, Kelzo remains grounded; and is under no illusions that success in the graffiti and street art worlds are measured by financial gain (despite Banksy’s estimated net worth of £29 million).

“One of the greatest achievements in life is to be remembered. It’s got fuck all to do with paper that’s in your pocket. Wealth is just a way of being able to do things. Having nothing gives you a struggle that is a beautiful thing as well. Because with comfort comes complacency, and before you know it, you can be a fat little cherub sat on a mountain of bullshit, when someone who’s got nothing can go out and save the world.”

Kelzo has come a long way since taking up graffiti at 14, and is thankful for all he has, despite the trying conditions he experienced whilst growing up. “Living in Hulme back then, you were expected to become a criminal. It sounds really stupid, but the thing is I was always grabbed by the police, who’d ask my name and tell me to empty my pockets. They’d look me up and see I’ve got no criminal record and go ‘Oh shit’.

“I grew up in a world where people accuse you of being bad when you try to be good. I’ve been a graffiti artist for 30 years, and I’ve lived in Hulme and Moss Side for 45 years and I’ve not got a criminal record. That’s impossible.

“I speak quite confidently today about all that, but a lot of people from my past have fallen away because of their behaviour. If you get involved in crime, you can end up in prison or mentally ill. Luckily, I made the right choice, which is to be good. Because nobody can punish good. You can only punish bad.”

After our hour of expressive introspection, the impression I get of Kelzo is one of a character who, despite his success, remains very much the same person: “I’m doing corporate stuff today, but when I get paid, I fuck off to other countries and become a teenager again. And then I do lots of charity work to make sure I’m still grounded. Life is about balance: if I make great money, but people who are important to me become more and more distant from me, I won’t tick, I won’t click.”

As our conversation (one-sided, though it may have been) comes to an end, Kelzo takes a moment of introspection, before saying: “I feel like I’ve spoken a lot deeper than I thought I should, rather than about graffiti.”

Well, perhaps. But I would not have had it any other way.

Street art by (l-r) Chock, Kelzo, Akse and Tags. Photo: erokism @Flickr

Opinion

10

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This is our last print issue of the year. If you noticed the hidden message across all of this years opinion pages email in to win a prize.

Mental health stigma Sanjana Gupta Stigma and discrimination against mental health is still a prominent issue in today’s society. According to YoungMinds, a UK based campaign to improve mental health, people with mental health issues are believed to experience more stigma than anyone else with other health problems. Many sufferers of mental health problems can find it difficult to talk or seek help for their illness.

Time to Change, a charity run

by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, found that in 2014, 28% of people with a mental health problem waited for over a year before they talked to their GP about it. When victims find the courage to speak about their illness to any GP or a medical professional, they are entitled to receiving a positive response with the best care.

However, this isn’t always the case.

The Mental Health Foundation found that 44% of people had in fact experienced discrimination by their own GP. The reasons for this were that young people felt their GPs were overly controlling, dismissive of accounting their emotional problems and had an extreme desire to medicate.

Many patients feel that medical professionals aren’t always educated or trained in how to deal with the situations which make it more difficult for patients to seek treatment.

Often patients don’t feel they receive the care or attention they deserve.

The extent and severity to which patients feel like they have not received the care they wished or where professionals have exacerbated the stigma can vary. A Guardian article showed the case of 25-year-old Rebecca David who had been using mental health facilities since her days as a teenager as she suffered from depression and anxiety. She claimed that “Many times it just felt like box-ticking… it didn’t feel like [doctors] were really listening.”

Despite claims that doctors and nurses are overworked, this doesn’t justify their neglect towards vulnerable patients.

It can be very courageous for an individual to speak to a professional and if they then feel that this has been shut down, it is undeniably going to significantly impact their chances of seeking help again in the future.

This is an excerpt from Sanjana’s article.

The rest can be found online at mancunion. com

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

The difficulty with cultural appropriation

We need to take into account structural concerns when talking about cultural appropriation Although seemingly never far from the which they rely on for their fame.

Ed John Opinion writer spotlight, the debate surrounding cultural And yet despite such an impressive and appropriation has once again reared its ugly head. Thanks in part to both Justin Bieber and a viral video (perhaps a perfect reflection of our current society), the matter has been taken to the masses with divisive results. However, with racial divisions and issues still pervading every corner of communities across the world, is the adoption of a hairstyle the most important rallying point? Or are we detracting from the real problems at hand?

On the one hand, it’s difficult not to recognise, as much as my privilege as a white, middle class male allows me to, that to many belonging to oppressed and minority groups, seeing the cultural movements you created in rebellion to a rejection from the mainstream be stripped of their emancipatory spirit and adopted by those who denied you as part of their world must be no less than infuriating.

Yet, when you consider that only a year ago the UK witnessed a 50% rise in long-term unemployment for young, ethnic minority people, culture and the appropriation of it only makes up a very small fraction of the bigger picture. This isn’t to attempt to reduce the importance of culture. For oppressed groups in particular, cultural movements and trends can be a successful way of building community where it was once denied existence.

But in the search for a more just and egalitarian society in which the concept of race and racial difference is abandoned, perhaps we should consider issues that continue to leave thousands in poverty before calling for the shaving of Bieber’s head.

Again, far from trying to ignore the

Photo: @justinbieber @twitter

issue of such appropriation, this is merely an attempt to question such events’ importance in comparison to wider social issues. After all, seeing a white celebrity able to comfortably, and with little criticism, don a hairstyle that has continually been deemed unacceptable and ‘unkempt’ when worn by those in the black community must be a hard pill to swallow. And it’s not only Bieber who’s guilty of such appropriation.

Seemingly ever on the brink of controversy, Kylie Jenner is another celebrity who’s decisions to braid her hair and increase the size of her lips have resulted in a similar outcry. Here, many people raised the issue of hypocrisy again, emphasising the acceptance of Jenner’s lips as ‘sexy’ and fashionable, while black

models are continually ridiculed for the size of theirs. This hypocrisy is only highlighted on a deeper level when you consider the absence of such celebrities, who are willing to adopt the ‘edgy’ aspects of black culture, when the time comes to support meaningful campaigns such as the Black Lives Matter movement.

This point was excellently emphasised

by Hunger Games actress Amandla Stenberg, who’s biting criticism of Jenner’s choice of hairstyle not only transgressed her age, but hit the nail on the head regarding celebrities’ willingness to incorporate the skin deep, cool, and often sexualised elements of black culture while conveniently staying out of any debate regarding the numerous ways in which racism still pervades the communities on

relevant criticism put forth by Stenberg, it was still guilty of attacking a celebrity for her, albeit poor and misguided, choice of fashion, rather than addressing the problems perpetuated by governments such as our own and the US that, despite their claims to the contrary, still undoubtedly operate on a foundation of racism and prejudice.

This is the real question, in my opinion.

Yes, it is undoubtedly frustrating to see those from a culture responsible for oppression adopt the cultural aspects of the oppressed for their own stylistic benefit. And, yes, there is a definite case for those in opposition to such appropriation. But if we are to focus on culture and its appropriation, we must do so in conjunction with, and perhaps secondarily to, the prevalent and, in many cases, blatant racial basis of almost every institution that we so proudly hold up as the cornerstones of our society.

Unfortunately this does not seem to be the case. Going after celebrities for their poor choices can be a good tactic. After all, these are the people looked up to as role models by millions of people across the world. Changing their views and allowing them to perpetuate them via their platform can only be a good thing. But when this is done with little attention paid to those who truly cause pain, suffering and inequality amongst populations, it only cheapens the argument.

We must seek to address the issue of those who adopt only the easy, comfortable aspects of minority cultures yes, but we must remember to save some energy for the pressuring of those in power to fix their policies, rather than their hair.

The taxing demands of being a leader Jessica Chow-Lau argues that we need proper financial planning and understanding to get to the bottom of the tax avoidance row

Prime Minister Cameron and his taxes: a simple situation turned into the angry mob scene in Frankenstein. Movie, not book. Among the crowd is The Guardian, which resorted to conspiracy theories based on the name of Ian Cameron’s offshore firm, Blairmore Holdings, in effort to justify cries for resignation. Critics are rabble rousing to make Cameron seem guiltier than he is. Which is to say, not at all. The left-leaning publication also spun facts to make it seem as though he never paid tax on his profits from said corporation. He did, as did the rest of the family. According to the leaks, he has paid more tax than necessary by refraining from the tax-exempt £20,000 allowance that PMs receive to cover the expenses of holding office.

Often used by those who find the Prime Minister “dodgy”, tax dodging is substituted for the official term, tax avoidance. Besides for “dodging” being the derogatory sibling to the more neutral “avoidance”, the definitions are almost identical. They both mean to step away from something, the former additionally having the condition of doing it suddenly and quickly. Because of its unofficial status, I shall place tax dodging between tax avoidance and tax evasion on the scale of legality. Where tax avoidance is legal, tax dodging is frowned upon, and tax evasion is illegal.

Common ways to save money include: taking advantage of your personal pension scheme, donating to charity through gift aid, or claiming capital allowance for entrepreneurial reasons.

The government encourages people to have Individual Savings Accounts (ISA) where after-tax incomes are exempt from income tax and capital gains tax on investment returns. Consulting with a qualified accountant on financial

planning is advised, as you might be paying more than legally required.

Because tax palliations can very easily become unknowingly abused, speaking with a tax lawyer if engaging in isolated practices to ensure legality would also be wise. Mr. Cameron’s mother, after speaking with her friendly neighborhood financial advisor, gifted the PM an additional £200,000 after his initial inheritance of £300,000 from the death of his father. Separate apportionments were made to avoid breaching tax thresholds, which would have resulted in paying inheritance tax. If she passes away before 2018 however, the “seven year rule” will dictate that her estate (liable to inheritance tax) will include earlier gifts to children. This is so that parents don’t quickly transfer assets to their children before dying to avoid tax responsibilities.

Note that Cameron’s gifts had already been subject to tax, double taxation being the result if the mother had not arranged the assets accordingly.

For most people, lower taxes are preferred. One reason being that they don’t completely agree with most of the spending allocations the government uses revenue for. The deviated group that prefers high taxes calls tax avoidance immoral. There’s no arguing with people’s values, but I would hope that they respect others wanting to keep more of their income. HMRC defines it clearly: “Tax avoidance is bending the rules of the tax system to gain a tax advantage that Parliament never intended”.

As previously mentioned, avoidance can easily become dodging by using practices solely for a tax advantage rather than to produce capital. Artificial transactions for the sake of not paying taxes are widely criticized by supporters and critics of tax avoidance. Where

avoidance still works with the spirit of the law, dodging only technically follows it. Whether or not dodging is deliberate, whereby falling under tax evasion, varies from place to place and should be consulted with a professional.

This information is not hidden from the general public. Advice is everywhere, even from politicians. George Osborne helped a caller avoid paying tax using “clever financial products” in 2003.

It wasn’t about Cameron’s taxes, people are angry at his wealth. He didn’t cheat or do anything remotely illegal, but he did inherit a large sum from his father. But the country already knew his background when they elected and re-elected him (with an overall majority). Still, it’s understandable for minimum wage workers to be frustrated. Mr. Cameron knows his outsider status, people don’t let him forget it, and so he’s responded by revealing a private part of his life.

Cameron did something analogous in 2010 when he sold his stake of Blairmore Holdings for £30,000, the same year he became Prime Minister. Again, he was under no obligation. But he knew that it wouldn’t help his public image, and thus a deed unmentioned. And to clarify, the Camerons paid British taxes on their income from the trust. Therefore his involvement in the Panama Papers is simply tax avoidance.

Taxes are a private matter, yet MPs are now calling for tax returns from fellow members due to public interest. Instead of a public shaming, investigative duties could be given to a parliamentary committee so that the affairs of politicians are expertly scrutinized for dishonest behavior. Stigmatizing legal tax practices and an inflated sense of social justice stemming from the idea of working the most leading to being paid the most

contributes to the downfall of innovation.

Speaking from his defense and in general, we expect too much from MPs. David Cameron wasn’t born with extra, otherworldly qualities that made him naturally fit to run a country. Building up leaders to impossible standards allows us to not have to think for ourselves.

Energy spent immortalizing our leaders, would be better served strengthening institutions—those are the ones that last.

Photo: gpaumier @ Flickr

gh he at

Opinion11

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

A sporting excuse for animal cruelty Romy Biscoe discusses the recent fatalities at the Grand National. Is horse racing right in today’s world?

The Grand National, the annual horse race held at Aintree in Liverpool, has always been the focus of much scrutiny. Given safety has been an ongoing concern with the race, a report was published by the British Horse Racing Group looking into safety and welfare regulations. From their research, they concluded they wanted to ‘enhance safety and welfare while retaining the unique character of the Grand National’.

Why then, five years later, have we seen another deadly race at Aintree, with four horses dying? It begs the question of whether this race can ever be safe, for horses and jockeys, and why more isn’t being done to prevent such casualties.

The race has been the source of debate and controversy for years, with one side arguing the race is good for the horses and that they enjoy it, and others taking the opposing view that it is a ‘death-trap’.

“Is is right to use these animals for our own entertainment?”

It is undoubtedly the fences at the Grand National that cause the most concern, with their height consistently criticised for being too high. The nature of the challenge of the Grand National (the numbers of jockeys, the length of the course, and the fences) is what makes it such a popular spectacle year on year. It is questionable, however, whether this spectacle is deserving of its position as an annual sporting highlight, given that at least a couple of horses die each year.

Stephen Moss has drawn attention to this as he questions in the Guardian whether the race is ‘Britain’s answer to bullfighting, a cruel spectacle put on for the dubious edification of 70,000 racegoers’. It is

Photo: Vegaseddie @Flickr

exactly the nature of this edification that concerns me. People will justify horseracing in just the same way as they argue against veganism, and there will always be a divide in opinion when it comes to animal rights. It is known as a social occasion, for all classes, and it is arguable that this is the only reason it remains as popular, as well as being inextricably linked with gambling and money-making.

It is understandable that it is seen as a “tradition”; however, with each year there are more fatalities, which begs the question as to whether this is a tradition worth upholding. Despite its popularity from this perspective, in recent years there have been

growing protests and public opinion is increasingly swaying against the National.

In light of this growing debate Stephen Moss spoke to Dene Stansall, a horse racing consultant to the lobby group Animal Aid in 2013, when three horses died in one day at Wetherby Racecourse.

Stansall pointed to increasing public attention and awareness of the dangers of horse training and racing in the National and said “there needs to be a proper welfare audit of the course”, but also that it is now the casualties that draw the attention of the media, rather than the winner of the race.

Surely the focus of the race should be on the qual-

ity of the sport, rather than persistent safety concerns. Although in every sport there are physical risks, it seems the risks to horses in the Grand National are far more likely to end in fatalities. Therefore is it enough to simply make do with changes to regulations? The debate over the Grand National being safe or unsafe, good or bad, is likely to continue so long as people are spectators and bet on the race. Perhaps it is therefore worth considering the more fundamental issue at hand: Is using these animals for our own entertainment morally and ethically correct? Mimi Bekhechi put it very well when she said horses are just ‘replaceable inventory’ in the industry. They are churned out in order for people to win money and be entertained. She also draws attention to the fate of horses who do not make it to be prime racers, saying only around 40% end up racing and ‘those who don’t make the grade face uncertain fates, which can include tragic neglect and slaughter’.

If this is the case, surely no amount of safety regulations or “enjoyment” of the horses or spectators can be justified. Adding to the cruelty to horses away from the racecourse, Bekhechi also draws attention to the conditions of retired horses. Once they are passed their ‘sell-by date’, horses often get used for pet or human food, and if not, as Bekhechi words it, they are “left to languish in forgotten fields”. It concerns me that people enjoy watching this spectacle despite its unsavoury background.

People know certain practices do not guarantee safety for the horses, (if the race can ever be considered safe), yet continue to invest in it. Absentmindedness in this vein ensures the sport continues every year.

Although it would be considered idealistic to have the race banned, in my view compassion must not be forgotten. So long as people continue to watch and gamble in the race, however, it seems personal enjoyment and profits will continue to be placed above the welfare of others.

Green spaces are a calming respite from the city Tristan Parsons Opinion Writer It was a bright day in Fallowfield. Wilmslow road was chock-a-block with buses, cars, and people. I could see it all, the comings and goings of the day, from the sixth floor of the Tower, in Owens Park.

But I felt pent-up from within the four walls, the dirty window, and the list of readings that needed to be done. Opening my window for fresh air was not enough. I grabbed my helmet and headed to where my bike was locked up. I still couldn’t shake off the buzz as I joined the cycle lane down Wilmslow Road. I turned off onto another by the side of Wetherspoons, avoiding the broken glass along the way, and found myself at one of South Manchester’s finest jewels: the Fallowfield Loop cycleway.

This 8-mile-long multi-use track, stretching from Chorlton-cum-Hardy, through Fallowfield, and onto Fairfield, owes its success to two groups. With the help of funding from Manchester City Council, locally based Friends of the Fallowfield Loop maintain and promote the use of the route, while Sustrans, a national organisation, both pressure the government and raise awareness for the improvement of the UK’s cycling network.

The route follows an old railway line, filled with brilliantly messy vegetation and occasional bird calls that break the otherwise peaceful quiet. Some litter has been tossed over the bridges that span the route but that’s the best that the reality of modern Manchester can do to interrupt this place of escape.

The insinuation of a ‘return to nature’ and the idealised prospect of escape... yes, I am part of that meddling plan to replace the grey and order of our cities with green spaces. We’re determined to have our pretty parks ready for the future, to flounce around with our nuclear families and to have lattés in biodegradable cups in the independent coffee shops that grace the perimeters of these perfect parks. Here, we will meet with our multicultural friends and discuss the finer details of the new economically, socially, and environmentally sustainable urban life. Our city will be zero-carbon, on a lean low-meat, low-carb diet, and as diverse as it is inclusive, socially responsible and innovative. This

will be a struggle-free, guilt-free utopia.

But a latté is an abysmal choice of drink, and that is no fair account of either the past or the future of urban sustainability. Nowhere is this more evident than in Platt Fields, across the road from Owens Park, which was, in the late 19th Century, a country park to match the mansion in ‘the fields of Platt’.

As the squalor and smog of industrial Manchester

during exercise. Third, green spaces act as sponges, assisting the drainage of water and the control of noise pollution. Finally, there is the social and psychological value of having peaceful green spaces for recreational purposes. These spaces are not merely an insertion of pretty and natural commodities into our cities.

In the case of Platt Fields, local residents had im-

as true, we are more inclined to retreat back into a carelessness for the environment. This, together with financial difficulty and a general apathy for politics, is why the environmental movement is failing to move beyond its educated-class base.

For example, the creation of green roofs at the University of Manchester may be considered by some to be a trivial and self-indulgent move by the academic community. However this technology has the potential to be one of the most effective ways of alleviating urban flooding, household greenhouse gas emissions, energy costs, and urban biodiversity issues.

“In this modern urban world, green spaces are key to our cities.”

Photo: Mjdavies610 @Flickr

swamped it, a movement grew for the land to be sold to public hands. That time came in 1908, after which it was worked on by 700 of the local unemployed and opened in 1910. Clearly, this was no act of kind-gesture by the educated class.

In this modern world, green spaces are key to urban planning, not only for their benefit to nature, but to society too. Firstly, they help to clean the air from polluting gases, which are trapped by local climates in the urban environments from which they originate. Second, green spaces help to counter the local warming effect that the urban areas have. By increasing vegetation cover, the surrounding area is cooled by the water output of that vegetation and its evaporation, just as sweat cools your body

mediate interests for their own health and wellbeing. The same cannot be said about urban environmentalism in 2016. The benefits of green spaces are hard to pin down and the urban issues we face today are less severe than those of the late 19th century.

Furthermore, the environmental movement is currently focused on the global. Grand UN summits appear to sort out our number one concern: climate change. In the same way, there is a sense that these processes are out of our control, e.g. China’s plan to construct 150 coal plants this year, and the deforestation of 5,831 squared kilometres of the Amazon in 2015.

I would argue that if we accept this global setting

In terms of green space, Manchester is doing pretty well, with Platt Fields and the Fallowfield Loop just being two of the 130 parks in this city. But there is more to do, including the measurement of square-miles covered by greenery and a wider participation in the cause.

One of the main concerns that continue to plague modern living in the UK is urban sprawl and the stressful commutes it creates. These suburban houses and their private gardens, strewn across landscapes, divided by roads, houses, and fences, do not provide the same degree of benefit to collective urban living or the environment that larger green spaces do. Whilst it remains a respectable aspiration of the modern young Brit to one day own a house of their own, the age of achieving that goal is being pushed well into the 30s.

With housing pressure being one of today’s most pressing issues, perhaps the time has come to accept the condensing of urban housing, and, in particular for generation Y, to move beyond its depressing economic forecast to find the non-material fulfilment that public green spaces help to provide.

Music

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ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Album Live

Feature

Ladytronica: the forgotten females of electronic music

Parquet Courts: Human Performance Released 8th April via Rough Trade

After a brief stint indulging their weirder whims, Parquet Courts’ return to conventional songwriting, makes the craft sound easy

Electronic music can seem like a bit of a boy’s club, but there have always been women involved. The tide is surely turning

Patrick Grealey Music Critic

Jacob Bernard Banton Music Critic

Let me start by saying that if there’s one thing I really fucking hate (move over racism, sexism, world hunger, spiders, cider etc.), it’s when fans get all ornery about their anointed artists defying their past successes and indulging their weirder whims, as if they as consumers are actually owed some kind of deference or consideration. You know, brattishness of the “We’re bank-rolling these clowns ain’t we?! Where’s Light Up Gold: After The Gold Rush?! And when are we gonna get Sunbathing Animal II: The Sunbed Chronicles?!

We made you, you pricks!” ilk.

Supremely welcome as such repeats of those righteous albums would be, the thought that some people would presume the right to actually demand them, in the sincere belief that they should be heard and assented to, makes me a little bit ill. If you want the independent vanguard to keep doing cool new shit, then you’ve got to get used to hearing the odd thing you don’t like, or seeing the odd sainted band implode into a singularity of vacuousness, never to escape the gravity of their own latent banality (Weezer are a classic example of this). That’s the prerogative of the artist, and it’s to be lamented but ultimately respected. The supply-demand rule should not apply to art.

That said, Parquet Courts’ last album, the instrumental minimalist splinter that was Monastic Living , seemed to make a point of anticipating such baying indignance from their fan-base, perhaps thinking it would be funny to go out of their way to encourage it (which it would be). It does actually have its charms, though, in an extra-terrestrial kind of way, and besides, with Parquet Courts excreting albums at a positively dysentric rate, it’s unreasonable to expect them all to be heartbreaking masterworks anyway. None of their diversely lovable releases since the heartbreakingly masterful Light Up Gold quite have been, and

7/10 Human Performance is no exception.

It is good though. The best songs – ‘Outside’, ‘Paraphrase’, ‘One Man No City’ and ‘It’s Gonna Happen’ – are reassuringly consummate studies in flat-grooved catchiness, caterwauling punk, New Yawk noise-jamming and dislocated melancholy respectively: all the things Parquet Courts are known and loved for. The rest are perfectly admirable, and I liked them all. But, the aforementioned four standouts excluded, there’s not much on Human Performance quite as curious as what’s on Content Nausea, or as insistent as what’s on Sunbathing Animal. They just vibrantly and expertly re-tread well-trod ground so that the headless chickens who feared Monastic Living meant Parquet Courts either couldn’t or wouldn’t write songs anymore can sew their noggins back on. I just look forward to Parquet Courts gleefully picking at the still-fresh stitches when they drop the next album in eight months or so.

Photo: Album artwork

Delia Derbyshire. Photo: Ethan Hein@Flickr

Spare a thought for the straight white male.

He’s been getting it in the neck lately, though not entirely undeservingly. There’s accusations that he’s been a little overrepresented in the realms of electronic music. It’s hard to disagree. Though Tim Hecker’s marvellous new album Love Streams received the Guardian’s 800-word album of the week spread, Fatima Al Qadiri’s politically-charged Brute , released only a month earlier, didn’t receive the same kind of fanfare, Brute’ s lukewarm critical reception notwithstanding. The latter might seem a rather trivial and petty state-of-affairs to whinge about, but it is certainly important: 800 words is surely enough to pluck you from obscurity.

It would be stupid to dismiss all electronic music produced by men – for every Skrillex, there’s a Floating Points, a Bonobo or a James Blake – yet it’s still easy to think that electronica is exclusively staffed by them.

From the off, many of electronic music’s pioneers were women. Delia Derbyshire wasn’t only responsible for the original Doctor Who theme song, as everyone cites, but also ‘Zi-

the Interview New Street Records We get the down low on an exciting new project that gets students running a record label for students here in Manchester. Oscar Talbot chats with label directors Cameron Day and Rob Charlton about their prospects The premise behind New Street Records (NSR) is one that is so simply it is surprising that is has never been done before. A record label run by students, for students. NSR draws on the large pool of talented and committed people, who are enthusiastic about music. The label can give them valuable experience in a difficult industry and the chance to discover the next big thing, and now it is coming to Manchester. I met up with the directors Cameron Day and Rob Charlton to discuss the project.

Everyone involved is a student volunteer, and all the bands must have students in them. It is the brainchild of a group of Birmingham alumni students, and the Birmingham branch now numbers 70 strong, from A & R, all the way to a legal department.

“Because everyone is a student we understand they have other commitments, so having more people on the team means there are always people to do jobs,” explains Cameron. “With the power of students there’s so much we can do, there’s so many talented people, not only at Manchester Uni, but also at Man Met and RNCM.” “The more the merrier! The more people we can have working with us the better. Some people know exactly what they want to do, others just want to help out. There’s no one excluded”, says Rob. The goal is to set up a network of student run record labels around the country that can support the vibrant student community. It’s a tried and tested technique, with Birmingham’s own Sam Jackson having released an EP, Strangers Again, under their NSR label available through iTunes and Spotify, as well as headlining at the O2 Academy at Birmingham. Physical releases are also in the pipeline, as well as the possibility of vinyl.

“Jackson’s EP is out, and we’ve been able to use really great production, and awesome art work for it,” says Cameron enthusiastically. “The guys in Birmingham said they don’t know of anyone else in the country who has a label like this.”

Of course it is no mean feat to start a record label, not least one with such a mobile work force. “Any tips we’ve had have come from Birmingham, they’ve already gone through all the good things and the bad things to do” says Cameron, when I ask him about the struggles of setting up a record label. It is certainly not without risk, but NSR are confident that with the support of a dynamic group of students they can achieve great things, and pick up on artists who might not have been discovered by bigger labels.

Rob explains more about what is to come in the future: “We plan to release two EPs next year, and helping people produce their own EPs. We are doing a lot of scouting for artists at the moment. We are looking for a range of genres that we can get professionally recorded, with studio sessions.”

The initial challenge with any such project is promotion, and NSR are particularly keen to get as many people as possible involved in marketing and PR, as well as any aspiring graphical artists.

Keep your eyes peeled for an up coming launch party, which will be advertised around campus, with featured artists performing and possibly DJ sets. Rob is clearly enthusiastic: “It should be something that you don’t expect, and don’t get to see that often!”

If you want to get involved in any aspect of New Street Records contact manchester@newstreetrecords.com, especially if you are a music creator.

Photo: New Street Records

wzih Ziwzih OO-OO-OO’, a futuristic slice of British musique concrete that predates the hard-edged techno and – no, really – spartan hip-hop it recalls. Transgender ambient auteur Wendy Carlos famously scored Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, though her other accomplishments are suspiciously ignored. It isn’t simply that these women are forgotten; some of them are so obscure as to be easily overlooked.

San Franciscan street performer Susan Dietrich Schneider, aka The Space Lady, only came to cult status after being discovered on a compilation of outsider music. Like Derbyshire, her idiosyncratic music was strikingly ahead of its time; now everyone from Beach House to Blouse sounds marginally indebted to Schneider’s beguiling, warbling synthpop.

The mononymous Erika joins Schneider as another female artist criminally kept below everyone’s radar: her improvised track ‘Solar Rise’ is a must-see YouTube video away.

Hyperdub affiliates Cooly G (an ethereal, sensual amalgam of soulful dub and twilit 2-step) and Ikonika (delightful, angular takes on future garage and house) fly the flag for astonishing contemporary UK electronica.

The pair’s American “outsider house” labelmate Laurel Halo is so impressive, you wonder why it is that so many supernaturally talented women aren’t being spotlighted.

Fortunately, heads are beginning to turn.

One of last year’s success stories was Holly Herndon’s brutal, engaging and heady album Platform . Thanks to label 4AD’s positive backing and the utterly compelling music offered, there seemingly wasn’t a music webzine that didn’t feature her. Let’s hope the tide continues to turn.

Music 13

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

The Mancunion guide to Festivals 2016

I remember when this was all fields!

Top 5...

Photo: Paul Hudson@Flickr

Sustainable Festivals

It seems the global proliferation of festivals isn’t going to slow down any time soon. Categorising them all is more difficult than ever, so

Environmentally friendly, community-focused, feelgood festivals: they don’t all have to be hippy (but they mostly are).

—Rebekah Shaw

here’s a few that caught our eye. We’ve tried to show off a range of genres, locations and atmospheres, but if you don’t find the week long electro swing rave set in a Georgian manor house you’re looking for on our list, we’re sure it’s but a google away. Full previews, as well as more we didn’t list can be found online at mancunion.com/music.

Keep an eye on the website for our coverage of the festival season as it happens!

Dot To Dot

Slam Dunk

When? 27th May Where? Manchester, England How much? £11 (early bird), £25 (Standard) Who’s there? Mystery Jets, Rat Boy, Little Green Cars Our writers say... ‘Think of it as a Pick’n’Mix bag of the best in new alternative music. There’s the Japanese House’s gauzy, tender slow-mo pop; there’s Diet Cig’s charming boy-girl grunge-punk combo; and there’s Irish quintet Little Green Cars’ chest-thumping harmonising.’

- Jacob Bernard Banton

Bilbao BBK Live When? 7th-9th June Where? Bilbao, Spain How much? £104 (with camping) Who’s there? Arcade Fire, Foals, Tame Impala Our writers say... ‘Taking place in the scenic hills overlooking Bilbao, there is a 30 minute bus transfer to the city allowing the more culturally and culinary inclined festivalgoers to spend mornings sampling what the Basque city has to offer.’

- Calum Pinder

When? 28th May Where? Leeds, England How much? £42 Who’s there? Panic At The Disco, Of Mice And Men, The King Blues Our writers say... ‘The expected dose of nostalgic pop-punk is going to be present throughout the entire event... Combine this with some slightly heavier stuff from Cancer Bats and Gnarwolves for those of us who like to rock... it’s set to be one party that you don’t want to miss out on.

- Hannah Ainsworth

Parklife When? 11th-12th June Where? Manchester, England How much? £96 Who’s there? The Chemical Brothers, Jamie xx Main draw? The sheer volume of bucket hats is staggering

2. Green Man

When? 14th-17th of July Where? Suffolk, England How much? £197 Who’s there? The National, New Order, Grimes Our writers say... ‘The stellar line-up offers something for everyone, and sometimes at the same time: expect headliners New Order to attract edgy students and their parents in equal measures. It also boasts the most extensive comedy line-up in Europe, offering acts ranging from Russell Howard to Reggie Watts.’

- Joe Casson

The big one: this year the likes of Belle and Sebastian and Warpaint are heading to the Breacon Beacons in Wales. It’s all about freedom and escape, and The Green Man Trust also helps to fund local community projects.

Green Man

When? 18th-20th August Where? Bristol, England How much? £95 Who’s there? GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR, American Football, Toe Our Writers Say... ‘ArcTanGent is bringing the cream of noise-rock, post-rock and math-rock back to the UK once again, with a wealth of exclusives and rare bookings. This year’s line-up seems to be stretching to even bigger and bolder heights, with tried and tested legends having already been announced, alongside some home classics. The festival is lining up to be something really special, and with its fantastic atmosphere, it’s great value for money.’

- Adam Rogers

Cambridge Folk Festival

When? 23-24 September Where? Liverpool How much? £80 Who’s there? Super Furry Animals, The Horrors, Go!Zilla Our Writers Say... ‘Returning for the 5th time, Liverpool Psych Festival promises to bring together every kind of music that messes with your head. The acts cover drone to garage psych to lo-fi Brainfeedr-type affairs and everything in-between.’

- Jacob Nicolas

When? 2nd 4th September Where? Larmer Tree Gardens, Dorset How much? £195 Who’s there? Joanna Newsom, Animal Collective, Goat, Devendra Banhart Our Editor Says... ‘Nestled in a lovely spot near the New Forest, this love-in is getting sweeter with every year. Bit of everything. Comedy, theatre, music, spoken word, yoga, food, drink, water, trees, oxygen - the works! The End of the Road and the start of the rest of your life. Quote me on that.’

- Henry Scanlan

When? 18th-21st August Where? Brecon Beacons, Wales How much? £175 Who’s there? Belle and Sebastian, Julia Holter, Floating Points (Live) Our Writers Say... ‘Year after year Green Man seems to get better, pushing itself into new territory. The ever increasing electronic presence through the likes of Floating Points and (the somewhat self-explanatory) Awesome Tapes From Africa and you have a festival light years away from its twee, folksy beginnings. Green Man is a great festival constantly on the up, steadily refining itself into a wonderful, carefree weekend for genuinely everyone.

-Jacob Nicolas Photo: Wikimedia commons

Photo: Wikimedia commons

Liverpool Psych Fest Dekmantel

3. Wilderness

Photo: Kris Griffiths@Flickr

ArcTanGent

End Of The Road

EDITOR’S

When? 1st- 5 th June PICK Where? Barcelona, Spain How much? £155 Who’s there? Radiohead, LCD Soundsystem Our writers say... ‘I think Pitchfork and the Indie Heads Sub-Reddit just exploded all over a festival bill. As if the prospect of seing Pet Sounds in the blistering Barcelona sun wasn’t enough, The Avalanches are set to play one of their first shows in over a decade. Get me on that plane.’

- Rob Paterson

Latitude

Melt!

When? 15th-17th July Where? Ferropolis, Germany How much? £108 Who’s there? Disclosure, Skepta, Two Door Cinema Club Our Writers Say... ‘You’ve been to the farm. You’ve been to the soggy county showground. Now, Melt! beckons the intrepid music lover to venture to the deepest, darkest corner of Germany, to the overarching skyline of the Ferropolis open air museum. It’s here that towering names threaten to topple even the 2000ton mine excavators on-site, all while maintaining a friendly vibe that has seen it named one of Resident Advisor’s top festivals for the past three years.’

- Kayleigh Brook

Primavera Sound

1. Shambala

When? 28- 31 July Where? Cambridge How much? £108 Who’s there? Gogol Bordello, Baaba Maal, KT Tunstall Our Writers Say... ‘For over 50 years now, Cambridge Folk Festival has put on an event packed with music that ranges from Folk, Roots and Jazz, to Blues, Gospel and frankly, a baffling amount of other stuff you might struggle to categorise.’

- Jay Plent

Liverpool DekmantelPsych Fest

On a secret country estate in Northamptonshire, Shambala hosts over 200 musical acts and arts events from 25th-28th August. 100% independent in order to be community beneficial, as well as investing in wind turbines and reducing waste output – one of the few truly eco-friendly festivals.

EDITOR’S PICK

When? 4th-7th August Where? Amsterdam, Holland How much? €120 Who’s there? Moodymann, Tale Of Us, Robert Hood Our Editor Says... ‘Perhaps the coolest dance music festival on the festival circuit, Dekmantel is like one constant Boiler Room. The booking team of this years festival have gone and produced one of the most forward looking lineups to date , including a rare appearance from the dark horse of the Japanese 90s house scene Soichi Terada, along with label stars Palms Trax and Robert Hood.’

- Matthew Staite

Created in 2011, and hosted in Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire, Wilderness festival has the honour of Flaming Lips headlining there this year. Set on a private nature reserve, Wilderness asks you to ‘meet the world’ through nature, music, theatre and arts.

4. Truck Festival Anti-major festival, Truck is based in a local farmer’s field in Steventon, Oxfordshire, and caters through the local Rotary club charity. It has both boosted ‘up and coming acts’, Foals, Laura Marling, Stornoway (look where they are now!), as well hosting big names such as the Cribs.

5. Festival 8

Boomtown

EDITOR’S PICK

When? 11th-14th August Where? Winchester, England How much? £135 Who’s there? Lots of really cool shit, not really any headliners, everyone’s a headliner Our Editor Says... ‘Head on down to Boomtown Fayre. Be there or be square. Make sure you have dreadlocks in your hair. Take the weekend to enjoy four of the basic elements: peace, love, weed and dub.’

- Henry Scanlan

If you truly want to have the ‘hippy’ experience, this is the festival for you. Less about big music names and more about ‘celebration of the senses’ in the Lincolnshire Wolds. Upon further inspection it looks pretentious as hell, I probably wouldn’t

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Music

Photo: Album Artwork

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Fish out of Water: A Voyage into Captain Beefheart Alister Pearson is thrown into the abstract and obtuse world of Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band The first time I heard about Captain Beefheart was when he died in 2010. I probably listened to a few tracks back then in a halfhearted homage to van Vliet. However, I must have not taken much from it as I am only now coming round to beginning my voyage into his musical discography properly.

So why am I only starting now? Well, my theory is that I was daunted by the prospect. Similar to artists like Neil Young, Frank Zappa or Tom Waits, Beefheart’s musical library is vast and its range large. Questions such as ‘Where should I start? With the most known album or the first? Should I immediately understand it?

Am I too late to fully enjoy this artist?’ et cetera usually remain unanswered and I crawl back into a metaphorical cave of familiarity and assured appreciation of my musical listening. With a three week holiday consumed by a dissertation I decided now would be a good time to get out of the cave and get into Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band.

I started not with any album but with a documentary on Captain Beefheart narrated by the

Tribute: Gil Scott-Heron

As we near the fifth anniversary of the great man’s death, Salvatore D’Ambrosio remembers him with a poem and a playlist NO PLACE TO CALL HOME; AMERICA

5 great songs that define the man, his art and his values (and yes, they are all on Spotify).

1) ‘Whitey on the Moon’ from Small Talk at 125th and Lenox (1970) Album and song are both personal favorites of mine. Not yet a singer in 1970 but already a fully developed lyricist of rare talent. Clever, ironic, funny, sarcastic, caustic are some of the words you would associate to the young man America will come to know better in the following decade. This number here would have fit comfortably into Richard Pryor’s repertoire.

2) ‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised’ from Pieces of a Man (1971) Proto Rap? Spoken Poetry? A real masterpiece does not fit into any category. It’s 1969, people are marching on the streets but the TV is here to reassure you: the new toilet cleaner is the best the market has ever offered. The revolution will not be televised.

esting but other then that nothing stands out for me as particularly impressive. I will give it another go for sure but only when I’m more familiar with what Beefheart stands for, and am more used to his abstract compositions and lyrics.

I returned to the beginning and 1968’s Strictly Personal in the hope that I would find some more Beefheart that I enjoyed. And that I did.

Words are short and I want to talk about Trout Mask Replica so that’s all I’m going to say.

So yes, 1969’s Trout Mask Replica: Beefheart’s greatest masterpiece for many, and influential for an uncountable amount of artists, Cobain and Frusciante to name only two. This album is paradoxically brilliant. At many times it sounds like an ink splatter onto a music page. But it isn’t. Each song is carefully crafted and layered like a classical piece creating the illusion of it being made-up rubbish.

At times it is hilarious like the bit at the end of ‘Hair Pie: Bake 1’ where you hear the Captain converse with some neighbourhood kids or the spoken word of ‘Pena’: “Fast and Bulbous,” exclaims one member—ludicrous! I still don’t fully understand the album and I doubt I ever will, but this won’t stop me from listening to it again.

There’s still much to gain from Beefheart and I will continue to listen to him and the various incarnations of the Magic Band. I still see his music as a complex and slightly obtuse entity but one that should be grappled by anyone wishing to understand much of today’s alternative music’s ancestry.

Gig of the year: Grimes Where else can the music editors be self indulgent if not in the last section of the last issue of the year? Here’s our highlight of the year.

Matthew ‘Rib Eye’ Staite & Henry ‘Scandyman’ Scanlan Music Editors

A place to call home dirty needles, ruined parquet, naked man is smoking crack a big dog is looking at the skinny whore passed out between bongos A place to call home and here they are selling wars, a future and a god, door to door “It’s all over the news: “In The Ghetto” it’s so trite, it’s poor” A place to call home “the American Dream made it to our neighborhood” and I’ve seen you fools, all in line for some serious bite A place to call home the colored man works n’ dies for free A place to call home please refresh the room before you go out GIL SCOTT-HERON: A PLAYLIST

late John Peel. In it, I learnt about the Captain’s obsessive and, at times, brutally authoritative personality. One story remains prominent in my mind of how he kept his band cooped up inside a house for eight months during the recording of Trout Mask Replica, only allowing them to leave for groceries. At one point, a member recalls living on one cup of soya beans-a-day. “Ok,” I thought, “this guy is slightly crazy, but the genius ones usually are.”

I then began my listening experience in chronological order. First up, 1967’s Safe As Milk. This album I really enjoyed from the first listen. I’ve probably listened to it three or four times now and will continue to do so. What struck me was the structured nature of the songs. I was expecting an avant-garde mess of an album; abstract and obtuse; unforgiving for a new listener. But it wasn’t. Instead I was welcomed by a collection of catchy songs, none more so than ‘Yellow Brick Road.’ ‘Electricity’ is really something. That voice is remarkable and is nothing like I’ve heard in music before, almost like Darth Sidius from Star Wars has joined a band. ‘I’m Glad’ was unexpectedly beautiful as well with a sort of Sam Cooke vibe.

Next, I abandoned by chronological order tactic and skipped straight to the band’s last album, 1982’s Ice Cream for Crow. This was too abstract for my blood. I didn’t enjoy it much.

It seemed to try too hard to be weird and this detracted from the quality of the songs. I was reassured by the fact that several critics agree that it is Beefheart’s weirdest record. The titular track is fun, and a few other tracks are inter-

Photo: Album artwork

3) ‘Home is Where The Hatred is’ from Pieces of a Man (1971)

She came, she saw, she conquered our hearts.

The usually blasé and disaffected Mancunion Music team couldn’t contain themselves. They were reportedly covered in glitter, drinking a bit too much Lucozade and shouting “I LOVE YOU” in between giggles and squeals.

Flanked by three bamboozling backing dancers, the gig was an audio-visual extravaganza from beginning to end. After set opener ‘Genesis’, the set largely focused on new album Art Angels, with ‘REALiTi’, ‘Flesh Without Blood’ and ‘Scream’ following in quick succession.

Grimes disciples of freaks and geeks were all in attendance, looking either incredibly futuristic or incredibly dated, many managing both at the same time. Grimes herself is impossible to periodize, but she definitely looks like she’s appeared from the future. Springing between the stage and her synths and still belting out her ranging vocals.

Despite the ferocity of tracks like ‘Scream’, Grimes was endearingly bashful when it came to talking to the crowd in between songs. She even swerved doing an encore as she professed to “getting so nervous coming on stage that I wouldn’t come

Pieces of a Man is Gil’s best LP. Hard to pick just two out of it. This one tells you with an exquisite funk melody how tough the ghetto is and the price you end up paying living there.

4) ‘The Bottle’ from Winter in America (1974) Ya see that man over there? He is telling you that legal drugs can do the same damage as the illegal ones. Surprisingly, Gil’s most successful single. Actually no surprise at all. The music is great. That flute!

5) ‘Storm Music’ from Reflections (1981) This one goes along with ‘Lady Day and John Coltrane’. From Johannesburg to Montego Bay, do not underrate the power of music. It can saves lives.

Fine reggae-ish number.

Photo: Matthew Staite Photography

10/10

back on”.

Grimes’ movement from underground to unashamed pop is telling of music at the moment; gone are the days of generic watered down indie boy bands and indie rock, and in with interesting genre spurning multi platform performers and artists. High octane, brash, colourful and exciting; this is how live music should be done. “I’ll never be your dream girl”, sang Grimes at the end of ‘Butterfly’. Claire, you will always be our dream girl.

It’s been a great year running the Mancunion music section. We hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as we’ve enjoyed making it for you (Matt: “Designing a newspaper on a computer is neither easy nor fun.” Henry: “InDesign is better than sex.” Rob: “I’m just here for the free gigs.”)

Massive thanks to our wonderful team of writers.

We’ll continue publishing online until August, before handing over the baton in September. Over and out.

- Henry, Matt, Rob

Games 15

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Features

Why E3 2016 may be the best year yet!

Joshua Goldie Games Editor It’s getting to that time of year again when the world’s largest expo for gaming shows up with a bang and leaves us tantalizing over all the new game and tech reveals. The Electronics Entertainment Expo is once again being held in Los Angeles Convention Center, from Tuesday June 14th-Thursday June 16th 2016. Attending this show are a lot of the usual video game developers from Bethesda to Tell Tale Games, and some of the larger companies will be having pre-E3 shows, often starting on the Sunday before (so this year it will be the 12th of June), and this is where, for most of us, the most exciting part of E3 happens.

Many of gaming’s giants come to the convention and open the floodgates on everything they have got. Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony will be trying to convince you why you should stick with their systems for the coming years while other industry big-shots like Square Enix and Ubisoft will be holding their own smaller conferences to get you hyped up for their products and potentially fork over your cash early through preorders of their newly announced games.

The whole event is essentially one big advertisement, but it is definitely one to get excited about and this year looks to be shaping up to be one of the best yet.

Starting with the oldest company, Nintendo has a massive year ahead of it as their software line-up for this year is very minimal. The Wii U is beginning to look a lot like a system entering its final year, and that’s because it probably is. Nintendo announced last year it was working on a new dedicated video game machine code-named the Nintendo NX. We were told this machine would act as a third pillar to the already existing Nintendo 3DS and Wii U however we heard a similar line when the Nintendo DS was announced and it was promised not to replace the Game Boy Advance.

One year later and we see the GBA gone and the same thing is likely to happen here with the Wii U. Nintendo already promised fans that it would reveal more information at this years E3 and fans are definitely starved for information, only being able to rely on rumours and patents to keep the hype train rolling.

The Wii U was a very enjoyable system and one I was recommending to people, but it has certainly lived a fulfilled life and so it comes as no surprise to me that Nintendo’s NX may very well launch this year. While Nintendo has not confirmed anything yet, most rumours point to a holiday 2016 launch-date worldwide and if this is to be believed then Nintendo needs to go all out. The typical Nintendo console reveal involves hardware one year and then software the next, at the E3 prior to the launch. It is too late for this to happen for Nintendo so now there E3 is going to essentially have all the content of two E3’s in one as they talk not only

Photo: Entertainment Software Association

about all the new hardware features for the NX but also its entire launch software line-up which again, according to rumours, is sounding far more impressive than what the Wii U recieved.

It is very possible that Nintendo may have to have a pre-E3 conference just to contain all this information, similar to what Sony and Microsoft did when announcing their latest systems, but that has to be coming up soon and knowing this makes me very excited.

Rumours abound with what software might be coming out for the NX with reports of big name Wii U titles like Super Mario Maker, Splatoon, Super Smash Bros for Wii U and Zelda for Wii U, as well as big name third party titles such as Tekken 7, Final Fantasy XV, and Beyond Good & Evil 2. Aside from all these rumours though, Nintendo still has three other systems to cover as well.

The previously mentioned Zelda for Wii U is the talk of all Nintendo fans as we still know very little about the game despite it launching this year. A massive blowout of the game is guaranteed to happen this E3 and it is almost as exciting as the NX reveal itself. Along with this is the controversial Paper Mario Color Splash that was announced early March. While receiving little fanfare, it is the only other Wii U game we know of that is coming this year (other than Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE in June which is already out in Japan) and we know little about that game as well so I imagine it will get some cover this year.

Moving onto the Nintendo 3DS we also have a controversial game with Metroid Prime Federation Force that is set to come out in early summer and a more loved game being Rhythm Heaven Megamix. Both will likely get a lot of coverage this year as will one other unknown major Nintendo title.

We only have rumours to go off by with this one but undoubtedly E3 is the place where all will be revealed. The biggest 3DS game that is currently generating major discussion in the community is the new Pokemon title for the series’ 20th anniversary: Pokemon version Sun & Moon. While we will hear something about the game in May through the Japanese children’s magazine CoroCoro, it seems that E3 will be where we finally

Want to meet fellow gamers in Manchester?

see the first gameplay footage and get a major blowout of all the new Pokemon.

The next system is one that last year no one expected to see Nintendo on and that is your mobile phones. Nintendo just launched Miitomo this March for Android and iOS devices but they have confirmed that we will be getting at least four more mobile games before the end of March 2017. We do not know anything about these titles so Nintendo may be waiting for E3 to reveal the next one, a game that is reported to use one of Nintendo’s major IP. Could it be a new Mario Kart or perhaps a Zelda?

Only E3 will tell us. The final, non-NX, game I should mention is the possible localization of Mother 3. The final part of the Earthbound trilogy, rumours from January of this year all seem to indicate that this game will finally be leaving Japan for its 10th year anniversary.

This is a time many people have been waiting for and this year Nintendo may just deliver.

That covers it for Nintendo, so what about its competitors? Both Sony and Microsoft have had their current systems, the Play Station 4 (PS4) and Xbox One (XBO), out for only two and a half years now, yet recent rumours seem to suggest that something very different will be happening with the two of them in this console generation.

This rumour applies mostly to Sony however Microsoft CEO Phil Spencer has recently hinted that Microsoft would be considering something similar for the Xbox One. Sony may very well be prepped to announce the PS4.5 at this years E3 for a holiday 2016 launch.

According to the rumour this new system will be less like a PlayStation Slim styled upgrade and more like a New Nintendo 3DS upgrade. The PS4.5 will have more CPU and graphical power, being able to run games at a 4K resolution earning it the nickname PS4K. The big question on everyone’s mind about this new system is ‘How much like a New Nintendo 3DS is this?’ The New Nintendo 3DS came under some fire due to it having exclusive games that can only run on this system and some games that run awful on the original but are still released because they run well on the New model. If the same thing happens

This is it, the final few weeks of the University term and you can bet your favourites controller that the University of Manchester’s Gaming Society will be running an event every week up until the exam period starts.

This week’s event is a simple, but very important, one as a cooldown from last weekends big 24 hour charity event. We are holding our final AGM of the term. If you are a student who would be interesting in going behind the scenes and joining the UoM Gaming Soc committee for next year then this is the event to come down to. It will be held on Wednesday 20th April at the Student Union building at 1:30pm. It wil either be in room 5 or the activities space so keep an eye out at both

with the PS4.5 then I imagine it may upset early PS4 adopters as an upgrade seems too soon. If it is completely optional then Sony is definitely looking to attract the technophile crowd with this new machine. With Microsoft the rumours seem to imply it more as an add-on to the Xbox One, like with a PC, and hopefully all of this will be confirmed this E3.

Moving from hardware to software, Sony defeated its competition last year with the reveal of a remake of Final Fantasy VII, the confirmation that the Last Guardian is in fact not dead and still coming, and finally ended it all with the reveal of a Shenmue 3 kickstarter campaign. Hopefully this year we will see a lot more of these three with a potential release window for the first two and our first gameplay of Shenmue 3. Alongside this there are rumours of a new God of War to launch alongside the PS4.5 and rumblings of a new Crash Bandicoot title to really hit that Play Station 1 nostalgia.

A big focus for Sony this year is the launch of PlayStation VR, also known as Morpheus, to the public, and so much like with the Nintendo NX we can expect a heavy focus on VR gaming this year.

Whether these games are exclusive to PlayStation VR or not remains to be seen but so far the device has had a very warm receptions from those who have tried it so there is no doubt that Sony will want to draw in more and more potential costumers at this years Expo.

Onto Microsoft’s software line-up instead we will most likely be getting another look at Rares upcoming Pirate MMO, A Sea of Thieves, as well as a new trailer for Gears of War 4 and Crackdown 3. Fans of Platinum Games should definitely expect an update for their upcoming Dragon-riding action game, Scalebound, after it missed Microsoft’s last major event. What new games we will see from Microsoft are very up in the air at the moment but undoubtedly Microsoft needs to go in big this year as they are starting to fall behind Sony by a reasonable margin.

Just like with PlayStation VR, Microsoft also have their own new hardware addon to talk about with Microsoft Hololens. Instead of Virtual Reality Microsoft have gone in the direction of Augmented

Reality however we know little about which games will work for this device.

We saw Minecraft on it last year and we know about Young Conker but that is nearly it. Microsoft needs to stand out this year and to do that they need to push hard on this AR, as the rumours suggest they will.

Lastly for Microsoft we should be expecting more from their plans for a unified system. The company already announced that many Xbox One titles would be coming to PC in the future and this fusion of all their platforms will likely continue to be a focus at this years event. How they will continue to entice Xbox One players remains to be seen but Microsoft must have something planned.

That is it for the big three but one should not forget the 3rd party publishers in all of this. While Ubisoft have stated that a new Assassin’s Creed would not be launching this year that means nothing for a potential Watch Dogs sequel or an Assassin’s Creed compilation game.

Square-Enix will likely focus on their two new Final Fantasy titles for this year but that is not all they have with a new Deus-Ex and Kingdom Hearts on the way. There is also Dragon Quest XI which may get a big focus this year after it’s reveal last year. Along with EA’s usual sports titles they have more to talk about with the latest Mass Effect title and rumours of a new Star Wars game coming out. Sega and Atlus will be making an appearance to show off the fifth entry in the Persona series and to celebrate Sonic’s 25th Anniversary we are definitely getting the first trailer for Sonic’s next outing, a game that has been teased by their social media since the dawn of this year. Resident Evil 7 has been hinted at by Capcom as has Fallout 4 DLC by Bethesda and this has all just been the tip of the iceberg for what games we might see at this years E3.

E3 2016 is just under two months away and the hype train is speeding steadily along. How this year will play out all comes down to how the big three handle their reveals however I hope that you are now thoroughly hyped for this end of exam event that will shake the gaming world once again.

Photo: Entertainment Software Association

locations. Almost any positions is up for grabs so just tell us why you think you deserve to be on the committee. It is a great way to meet new people and will look wonderful on your CV. The following Wednesday, the 27th April, will be the yearly Gaming Soc and Computer Science Soc Gauntlet. A tournament with 8 randomly selected games to play through with the goal of being the very best. The location of this event is still being decided on so make sure you check either societies Facebook pages to stay up-to date with all the latest information.

On Wednesday 4th May is the final Gaming Pub Quiz of this academic year, being held at Whitworth Parks Grove Hall. Always fun, and worth

coming to the Pub Quiz will be an enjoyable event even for those who do not drink.

Finally, on Wednesday 11th May at the same Grove Bar as the pub quiz we will be having our final console night. A simple event to end out the academic year, we will have various games from various systems all-around the grove for you to come and enjoy.

This academic year has been fun for us and we hope it has been for you also. We wish you all the best with your exams and we hope you’ll continue to support us next year as well.

Happy Gaming. /GamingSociety

Fashion & Beauty

16

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Interview: Louise Court

Top 5: Under £5 Struggling to find high end products at high street prices? Head Fashion Editor Kassi Allcock searches the shelves to reveal the ultimate 5 beauty must-haves, all under £5.

Fashion Class of 2016

As the end of the academic year creeps ever closer, The Mancunion’s best-dressed journalists reflect on their style...

Kathryn Murray: How would I define my style?

Photo: The Mancunion

One of the stars of the show at the inaugural Women in Media Conference in Manchester last month, it is fair to say that Louise Court is at the top of her game—a true ‘wonder woman’ in media. Having left her position as Editor-in-Chief at Cosmopolitan to become Director of Editorial Strategy and Content at Hearst Magazine’s UK Office in 2015, she oversees the heavyweights in the fashion magazine ring: Elle, Esquire, Harper’s Bazaar (and of course Cosmo) to name but a few.

After her engaging keynote speech on her life and work with many prestigious publications, I wanted to delve further into how Court climbed the rungs of the career ladder. Fashion journalism is a highly covetable and extremely competitive route to go down; I ask if she has any advice to students wishing to emulate her success.

Speaking of her beginnings in the industry, Court’s interest in journalism began at an early age. It is perhaps straightforward to trace where she caught her bug for writing; with both her dad and brother being journalists, the media sector was a truly family affair. Straight from school, Louise enrolled in a year-long National Council for the Training of Journalists (NCTJ) course, a well-respected accreditation for training journalists.

Qualification in hand, Court went on to work in local papers, which was where she could put her training into practice. A journalist’s need for unrelenting drive and proactivity is evident in her early experience: “I used to be responsible for a set number of pages and if you didn’t go out and find the stories they would literally have been empty.” Simple as that, really. Court quickly learnt that journalists also need to be resilient and appreciative of the unpredictability of the job, as “some people will be happy to talk to you about anything and everything, and others will shut the door in your face.”

Making the move from local to national publications, Louise describes her time at big news operations as “really exciting”. While thrilling to be covering stories that are making the front pages, Louise also acknowledges the sacrifice a journalist must make in terms of their own time. “On a newspaper,” she explains, “if a big story breaks that you have to cover, you have no control of it.”

In light of this high-octane and exhilarating atmosphere in the daily newspaper industry, I asked Louise why she decided to make the move from bustling Fleet Street to the world of magazines. “I moved when I knew I wanted to have kids. My Dad was a journalist and missed lots of bits of my childhood that I knew I wanted to be there for.” While she continued to work full-time as a mum, it seems the key benefit of magazines is the down-tempo style of journalism and more predictable office hours when working towards a monthly publication.

It was in 2006 that Court was appointed the lucrative position of Editor-in-Chief at the ultimate women’s magazine Cosmopolitan. The edi-

tor-in-chief is perceived by many as the pinnacle of glamour, significantly aided by the formidable reputation of US Vogue’s Anna Wintour and Devil Wears Prada-style scenarios. I wanted to find out more about the most glamorous aspects of the top job. “The most glamorous is sitting on the front rows and seeing next season’s new trends,” Court replies, “Or, looking at the fashion rails of endless clothes, shoes and jewellery when you do a celebrity cover shoot.” Quite understandable, as Cosmo’s impressive archives include the finest of cover-worthy stars: Queens of pop Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, as well as Hollywood royalty Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. If you flick back a few decades, style icons such as Joan Collins, Debbie Harry and Boy George have also graced the front page.

Despite all the glitz, glamour and a drool-worthy shoe cupboard, Court says that Cosmo is not merely a shopping manual. Her time at the magazine also showcased a number of inspirational projects. “I loved doing a lot of the campaigns on Cosmopolitan” Louise says, and the long list is very impressive. From championing mental health such as fighting for better treatment for eating disorders, Cosmopolitan has not shied away from the political stage either. Cosmo has enabled their readers to challenge politicians about issues such as student debt, affordable housing and job opportunities for young people.

With Louise at the helm, Cosmo have also tackled some of the most sensitive social issues head-on, including rape, domestic violence, cancer and honour killings—the latter culminating in a National Day of Memory for the victims of honour killings in the UK. But, taking both the serious and sartorial aspects of the publication into account, Court declares “Cosmo will always be a magazine that encourages and supports young women to achieve their dreams.”

Louise really does present the incredible opportunities and the memorable and rewarding moments of working in journalism. I was therefore keen to ask for her opinion on the job prospects for today’s students in this highly competitive business. Does Court think the journalism industry has become more elitist? Is it harder for today’s students to get their foot in the door? “I think journalism has always been pretty tough. It is a brilliant career but does require dedication. The challenges today are that it is an industry going through so much change and it is tough getting that first full time job. If it is what you really want to do you just have to keep on going.”

You inevitably need to motivated and resilient to land your first job in journalism. Despite some perceived difficulties, Court contends that young people today have certain things to their advantage when it comes to breaking into journalism. “I think one of the bonuses today is the fact that you can self-publish through blogs, your own websites, and smart use of social media. You can make a name for yourself and have lots of great stuff to show any would-be employers. Research is a lot easier too, again thanks to the internet. Networking is crucial and social media is very valuable to get in front of people you have never met.”

So the future looks bright for the fashion journalists of the future. All it takes is enough drive, proactivity and a good use of the mighty tool that is the Internet that we millennials have at our disposal. Give it a few seasons, and we could all be settling into our reserved seats on that enviable front row…

“What’s in your makeup bag?”

Louise’s beauty picks: Beneft “gimme brow” eyebrow mascara Laura Mercier Candleglow Soft Luminous Foundation Clinique High Impact Lip Colour in Ready to Wear

Photos (L-R): Boots, Laura Mercier, John Lewis

Beauty Editor Millie Kershaw chats with Hearst Magazines aficionado and former Cosmopolitan Editor Louise Court about all things fashion journalism

Photos (L-R): Boots, Boots, Superdrug, Makeup Revolution, Boots

Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer: £4.19

Fashion & Beauty 17

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

I can’t really. A lot of people tell me I am excellent at co-ordinating but in actuality I just only like a few colours, makes life a lot more simple. The outfit I am wearing here is a bit more snazzy than my everyday uni-wear which would consist of jeans, timberland boots and a knitted jumper. I have the promise of cocktails after a six hour library session so went for more of a versatile day to night look. My skirt is from a really cool shop in Withington called Mockingbirds which has helped shape my wardrobe and get rid of my student loan. I don’t think my style has changed that much since I have come to university, apart from I have acquired a lot more pyjamas.

Henry Scanlan: I call this look The Diamond Geezer. Sports jacket and steel toe-cap boots shows I’m not going to a fucking picnic. I flash my Timex to any doubters. Long hair shows I’m in touch with my emotions n that. Slim fit navy jeans because what the fuck else is there. Brown belt to keep my trousers up.

Who am I wearing? Oxfam, Adidas, and sort of Ralph Lauren Polo. I say ‘sort of’ cause the man on the horse has lost his baton, so to speak. It’s fake, in other words. The rest of me is real though.

If there were ever a drugstore product that could compete with the beauty gods of Nars and Bobbi Brown, Collection have hit the ball out of the park with this miracle of a concealer. Known to the masses as every beauty blogger’s holy grail product, this masking masterpiece can hide those tired 9am lecture eyes like no other concealer can. It’ll cover up any and every essay-enduced blemish with ease, and it’ll fit right into your pocket for midday touch-ups. At only £4.19, the Lasting Perfection Concealer is an absolute steal.

Rebecca Thomas:

I would say my style has more or less stayed the same since coming to Manchester, maybe slightly less out there, converse to the Fallowfield trend for increasing your alternative flair. Since becoming a student I have bought far less; I mainly rewear and recycle things I already own, so I favour items which are less recognisable when worn frequently. I have always loved inconspicuous skinny jeans, and always buy these from Zara, the only place which do trousers which don’t ‘bag out’ on me, and I hugely covet ankle boots, with my favourite being my pointed toe red snakeskin pair.

Other favourite wardrobe features are long skirts in summer, backless tops, and different textured silver rings. I’m envious of how chic French models look; the model Caroline de Maigret is one of my icons—British Vogue featured her in a YouTube segment where she describes French style and ‘how to dress well’ which is endlessly cool. I’m a fan of the ‘normcore’ vibe; neutral colours and blankness of pattern make me happy. When I graduate I aspire to shop all the time in The Kooples, & Other Stories, and Whistles; I love how simple and eye-catching their looks are. My newest purchases have been dark navy/green silky culottes and some black ‘guy’ brogues, and I’m trying to decide if I’m brave enough to wear them both at the same time.

Sarah Kilcourse:

My personal style is fairly simple. I want the clothes I wear to fit and flatter my body. New seasons bring new trends along with them, and I try to be open minded to the new styles available, but I never like to let the trends lead my taste. It is more about the current fashion trends adding to my style. I am a lover of black, denim and stripes; it is a rare day that I’m not wearing one of the three! They are so fabulously interchangeable and just work in my eyes. I’m not obsessed with bright colours; to me it’s whether they fit my mood.

And when it comes to shoes, I think the pointier the better.

Rimmel London Sculpting Palette by Kate: £4.99 Fairly new to the market, Kate Moss’ trio of beauty is now standing loud and proud on the Rimmel London displays in Boots. With countless high-end blushers, bronzers, and highlighters coming in individually at a whopping £20-30+ price point, it’s a sigh of relief to see a 3 in 1 product for a fraction of the price. Much like her fantastic lipstick collection for Rimmel and her inspiring fashion collection for Topshop, good ol’ Kate has outshone herself again. With an almost exact dupe for NARS’ Orgasm Blush, her palettes should be flying off the shelves.

Rimmel London Lasting Finish Lipstick: £4.99 Treating yourself to a new lipstick without breaking the bank is becoming increasingly difficult. Having a browse through my own lipstick collection I am definitely no exception to this, with all but one causing over £5 of damage.

Funnily enough, however, the £4.99 gem that sits smugly amongst the rest is actually one of my most reached for shades. Rimmel’s Lasting Finish Lipstick in ‘Sugar Plum’ is a beautiful, vibrant pink which remained a firm staple in my make up for the whole of last summer. As the weather is soon to make a turn for the better, I’m sure that it’ll soon be making a much needed reappearance.

Joe C Evans and Liam Kelly

Makeup Revolution Iconic Palettes: £4 The Urban Decay Naked palettes are on every beauty lover’s Christmas and birthday wish lists. Infamous for their beautiful array of long lasting, breath-taking eyeshadows, it’s a slap in the face to know that they each leave a £38.50 dent in your bank balance. Dreaming of making the palettes more accessible to students on a budget, many brands have brought out their own replicas. Makeup Revolution’s take is practically an exact dupe of every single colour, with their Iconic 1, 2, and 3, cloning Naked 1, 2, and 3, for a far friendlier price.

Barry M Speedy Quick Dry Nail Paint: £3.99 Barry M are renowned for their inexpensive nail polishes, every single one coming in at under a fiver each. Their Speedy Quick Dry collection, however, is definitely something extra special to be shouted about. With a brush shape not too dissimilar from the nail polish Queen, Essie, and a finish that won’t smudge when you’re in a morning rush, these cheap and cheerful colours are a nail polish lover’s dream. ‘Eat My Dust’ is a charming cornflower blue, ‘Pit Stop’ is a glamorous grey, and ‘Lap of Honour’ is a loving lilac. For £3.99 a bottle, I could quite easily find myself purchasing every single shade…

Sophie Soar:

Millie Kershaw: I would say when it comes to my fashion sense, I have less of a style and more a uniform. Black skinny jeans, oversized/high-neck knitwear and white T-shirts (the underrated classic) feature pretty heavily on this set menu. Trainers are de rigueur. (Stylish and supportive, all in two lovely shoes. What’s not to love?) No matter how hard I may try a jazzy colour palette, I always fall back on some vibrant shades of grey. Everything stays pretty monochrome, with the occasional splash of blue denim.

Spending a year living in France did not help matters, as I am pretty sure sporting coloured clothing across the Channel is punishable by law. I am dreading the time when I need a more grown-up wardrobe as the end of my university career draws nigh. Perhaps I will swap the skinny jeans for a chic fitted trouser à la French Vogue editor Emmanuelle Alt. As far as today’s fashion forecast is looking, however, I think I see myself dressing like a female Steve Jobs forever.

Kassi Allcock:

Perisha Kudhail: From first year, colour has always been important and, although my style has changed a lot, I still love a huge pop of colour three years later. As I’ve gone through uni, I’ve realised that simplicity is key, sometimes I will even wear head to toe black and my colour will come through my nail and lip colour. With Manchester being such a great hub for fashion, my wardrobe collection has doubled! I have experimented a lot with what I love because Manchester and uni life had given me the platform to do that. Never be scared of trying something new and that goes for your make up too.

As Head Fashion Editor, you’d expect me to dress far more adventurously. Fashion, for me, is all about comfort. Baggy jumpers and thick scarves have always been my groove. I remember when I first moved to Manchester; I was overwhelmed by the five-storey Urban Outfitters on Market Street. Each time I visited during Freshers’ Week, I swooned after an oversized navy jumper fashioning red raccoons until I finally cracked and made my first mancunian purchase. Three years later, it sits contently amongst my evergrowing jumper collection, not having been worn since Christmas of First Year. My impulse buys have become few and far between as my student loan has become almost non-existent (big shout out to Student Finance), but I definitely still break from time to time. This block-coloured Zara jumper was bought on a whim after a long and hard day. Retail therapy and all that…

One of the greatest things about Manchester, whether the city or the university, is its eclectic, vibrant, and confident style.

Whether strolling to Sainsburys in your pyjamas or donning a pac-man outfit to the latest Pangaea, the distinct attitude that sets Manchester students apart from the rest is the ‘do-Ireally-look-like-I-give-a-sh*t-what-you-think?’ defiance spread across the faces of the vast majority.

Wearing your personality on your sleeve is the recognised style of the city and it’s what makes dressing for every day that much more exciting.

The opportunities to experiment with your wardrobe are endless, primarily because it is guaranteed you will never be the quirkiest on the street that day.

When I started at Manchester in 2014, I had no idea where the three years would take me.

Admittedly, certain aspects were predictable: spending most of my student loan on clothes; devoting more time to Asos than Jstor; gaining a second home somewhere on the third floor of Affleck’s. But essentially, whilst many might start their university experience with degree aspirations and career goals in mind, you can never predict how the method of achieving these will change the fundamental elements of who you are.

Photos : The Mancunion

Film

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Review

Hardcore Henry Henry Scanlan Music Editor

So we’re in Russia some time in the future and Henry is a cyborg and he’s on the run from an army of bad guys and he’s got this really hot wife who he’s trying to save and….oh, I don’t know. I really don’t know...

These were roughly my thoughts as I tried helplessly to grapple onto a storyline during the bizarre, enthralling Hardcore Henry after walking into the screening 15 minutes late. It was tough going for a couple of minutes. I had literally no idea why Sharlto Copley’s character kept getting killed but was able to respawn like Kenny from South Park, each time in a radically different guise. I had no clue why Henry (or as per the first-person viewpoint, I) had superhuman strength and an indestructible body, or why an albino telekinetic villain was trying to kill him(/me). I still don’t.

The funny thing, as I found out later, is that even if I’d seen the first 15 minutes, I’d have been none the wiser. Hardcore Henry makes no attempt to explain itself. There is no why. What’s more, however, is that this really doesn’t detract whatsoever from your viewing experience once you learn to let go of any hopes of enlightenment—which I did after about 3 minutes of intense and stunningly choreographed action. Unless you’re the type of person to agree to go on a rollercoaster only to complain the whole way through that it doesn’t contain enough

Film Reel

subtext, you are going to enjoy this film. Hardcore Henry ploughs through all of its 90 minutes with such ferocity, velocity, wit and mischief that it obliterates the need for a narrative.

I’ve read reviews of this film bemoaning its lack of character development or plot cohesion, but who says every film needs those things? I’d hate to break it to Robbie Collin of the Telegraph or Jordan Hoffman of the Guardian, and I hate to name names (I really don’t), but a film doesn’t absolutely need a “plot or characters worth caring about” for it to be a success, and I don’t need to be an idiot to be titillated for an hour and a half by explosive action scenes, great one-liners, mesmerising camerawork, and an amazing soundtrack. But judging by both writers’ depressing and rather insulting write-ups, what I need is a good film theory course and a giant rod up my arse to put me right and ensure I don’t enjoy this kind of lowly trash anymore.

I prefer to focus on the positives. The only two performances of note in the film are both played with a devilish sense of fun. Copley, playing at least 12 different characters, enjoys the same hilarious freedom that Denis Lavant was given in Holy Motors, while Danila Koslovsky’s Scandinavian villain delivers a wealth of bad-guy-zingers with a delicious drawl. The camerawork is also pretty astonishing, managing to create something stylish and cinematic with GoPro cameras, which make for a far smoother viewing than the alternative handheld “found footage” style that otherwise might be

Photo: STX Entertainment

used for the same effect. As with The Revenant recently, this is one of those films that will have you questioning just how the hell it was made.

The film is designed and structured to look and feel like a video game, and it does so thrillingly.

It’s clearly sub-divided into different ‘levels’, with ‘checkpoints’ in between to space out the action, and dozens upon dozens of useless henchmen for Henry to kill in extravagant ways. There’s also a soundtrack to rival that of any video game (Tony Hawk’s Underground included), full of heavy techno or eclectic choices to accelerate or juxtapose the comically graphic violence (for instance, watch as Henry carves out the heart of another cyborg while Devendra Banhart plays overhead). Far from being a pale imitation, the film is a glorious homage to video games, which are usually far more creative than given credit for and hardly deserve to be treated with such snobbery. Nevertheless, the movie is no doubt far more enjoyable if you’re familiar with

first-person shooter games and their tropes. For those who are, nostalgia is everywhere—the sniper vision, those sweet clinking sounds of a reload. For those who aren’t, there’s plenty else to enjoy.

So, before you read a predictably humourless review of Hardcore Henry in the Guardian, consider that the two major criticisms levelled at the film—its likeness to a video game and its lack of a substantial plot or proper characters—are well within its intentions, and consider how ludicrous it is to measure a high octane thriller using the same metrics you’d apply to a film like Schindler’s List. You can’t expect a fish to climb a tree, and you can’t expect Hardcore Henry to make you think too hard. If there’s one thing it did make me think, though, it’s this: film critics can be real saps.

Best Films of the Academic Year Photo:20th Century Fox

The Revenant Although it may be doomed to be known as the film that won DiCaprio an Oscar, The Revenant is still a mighty piece of cinema. With its bleak and beautiful visuals, bold direction and bloody and brutal violence, it is nothing short of a modern masterpiece.

- James Moules

Photo: Paramount Pictures

Anomalisa

Photo: Fábula

The Club

As expected from writer-turned-director, Charlie Kauf- This intense and troubling drama focuses on the investigation into a home for disgraced Priests in a Chilean man, Anomalisa is undoubtedly one of the seaside town. Probing our capacity for denial and the stranger films of 2016 so far. Bleak and desolate, yet limits of forgiveness, it serves as a sardonic parable for refreshing and empowering, the film’s beautiful script is propelled by its creative stop motion animation a Church, and a Country, still grappling with its past.

- Dominic Bennett style, creating a remarkably honest, - Georgia Welch

Photo: Thunder Road Pictures

Photo: New Line Cinema

Sicario

Creed

Denis Villeneuve’s disconcerting look at America’s ‘War on Drugs’ is gripping right from its first ominous droning tone. It’s aesthetically impressive with jaw-dropingly sexy cinematography but also leaves you deliberating over the realities of Mexican drug cartels like never before. Trust issues are an ordinary post viewing side effect. - Jack Lunn

Creed is a glorious film, easily the best Rocky outing since the no-longer-titular Italian Stallion has been able to afford punchbags instead of bits of meat. Michael B Jordan, Tessa Thompson and a gnarlier than ever Sly Stallone are all fantastic, the fights are as silly as ever, and the film is a righteous, warm-hearted, expertly made triumph from start to finish. - Jack Blenkinsopp

Photo: Picturehouse Entertainment

The Lobster The film subverts conventions and challenges fears of being single in a society that values partnerships above everything else. Macabre scenes, an original script, and sprinkles of dark humour make this film a refreshing viewing experience contrasting usual Hollywood films.

Furthermore, the hauntingly beautiful cinematography and the acting are superb. - Nicole Tamer

Film 19

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Classic Review

TV Binge

My Jihad

Top 5

Where is the Friend’s Home? Film Ending

My Jihad shys away from stereotypes and subverts tired clichés about Islam

The film that brought director Abbas Kiarostami to attention beautifully explores the Koker region of Iran

Imran Bukhari Film Critic

Mritunjay Sharma Film Critic

The word Jihad has infamously become associated with acts of terrorism and hatred, but for the majority of Muslims, it refers to the spiritual struggle within oneself against sin. Available on BBC iPlayer, My Jihad centres onto two Muslim protagonists, struggling to find an acceptable partner in a halal (nonsinful) manner. The first member of the potential couple we are introduced to is Fahmida, a pragmatic single mother, who carries a hard and prickly exterior.

Fahmida uses her intellect to mask her vulnerability and fears; having suffered a troublesome past when it comes to relationships. Her prospective suitor comes in the form of Nazir, a hopeless romantic with a deep admiration for Michael Jackson. Nazir is unemployed and lacking in the financial department, but he has his heart set on finding a pious and devoted wife. The pair butt heads at first and both must inevitably shake off their preconceived notions of the other. The show asks the same of its audience, asking viewers to reconsider their misconceptions regarding Islam.

The world explored by My Jihad will be an eye-opener for many, and all too familiar for others—as the task of searching for a soulmate through Islamic means is a daunting one. The odd bar encounter or flirtation on a first date are completely replaced by organised speed dating events, chaperoned excursions, and dreaded family introductions. But religion isn’t the only factor involved in deciding the fate of our protagonists, as in life there are always other hurdles, making the relationship that much more relatable. Despite being centred on Mus-

“As long as the protagonist wants something, the audience will want something.” – David Mamet.

Photo: BBC

lims and shining a light on modern Islamic customs, My Jihad is a romantic comedy in the purest sense. The show highlights the universal themes of love and the honest human connections found between two people. Nothing cataclysmic occurs in the four episodes.

The writing is equally in parts, poignant and humorous—that through dialogue exchanges alone, each character is fully developed. The short format also lends itself well, as My Jihad never overstays its welcome. The audience is left longing for more, grateful to have been privy to the briefest moments in the lives of these characters.

There is no question that the representation of Islam and Muslims in general through film and TV is not only sparse, but also significantly one-note. Tired clichés of terrorists and extremism dominate the small and large screens. Four Lions was idiosyncratic in its subversive take on the subject—and seven years after its release of the film, there has been very little progress since. The recent BBC drama Murdered by My Father further highlighted a prehistoric minority of Muslims who engage in honour killings.

When the majority of Muslims are peaceful and well-integrated members of their community, it is deeply frustrating to see such acts of evil steal the headlines.

Having more TV shows like My Jihad is not only important, but vital to painting a much more authentic and positive picture of everyday Muslims.

This idea is well executed by the master filmmaker Abbas Kiarostami in his first film of the Koker trilogy, Where is the Friend’s Home? This film was awarded the Bronze Prize at the 1989 Locarno Film Festival. The Koker trilogy was coined by film critics and academics. According to Kiarostami, the films were shot coincidentally in the region of Koker, Iran. This is the film by which Kiarostami announced himself to world cinema. The title of the film is derived from Sohrab Sepeheri’s poem, Khaneh Ye Dost Kojast?

The film is about the simple idea where 8-year-old Ahmad must return his friend Mohmad Reda Nematzadeh’s notebook that he had taken by mistake. If he doesn’t return it in time, his friend will get expelled from school.

This picture explores the beautiful geography of the Koker region, the journey from Koker to Posteh (Nematzadeh’s village). One particular image portrayed in the film on Ahmad’s journey taken from Sepeheri’s poem is the zigzag path on the mountain with an olive tree on the top.

Moreover, the journey to and from Koker to Posteh is provided movement by nondiegetic sounds of a drumbeat. This also shows the moment where Ahmad defies his mother and leaves his house to return the notebook back to his friend. The film also strays from the narrative and focuses on the thoughts of an old man.

According to him, young kids should be beaten to discipline them more, but in his narcissism he forgets about the fact that Ahmad is learning discipline and compassion through his own experiences by going through the search of his friend’s house.

The film ends with a small flower kept in Nematzadeh’s notebook, according academics, it was a gift from Kiarostami to the two boys for their selflessness and their friendship in this hostile world.

Sometimes a great piece of song-casting at the end of the picture can propel an already excellent film into greatness— here are the five best closing songs 5) ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ by Eric Idle – Monty Python’s Life of Brian It may not be the most musically excellent song ever written, but it ends one of cinema’s greatest and sharpest comedies with an appropriately hilarious note. Just reading the title on this page will be enough to get that iconic whistle into your head for the rest of the day.

Photo: Cinema International Corporation

4) ‘Baby, You’re a Rich Man’ by The Beatles – The Social Network David Fincher has proved before that he has a keen ear for choosing music to end his films (see Fight Club and Zodiac), and The Social Network demonstrates this at its finest. As Mark Zuckerberg sits back, having won the world but losing his soul, this Beatles track sings out with a heaped-spoonful of irony.

3) ‘Adagio for Strings’ by Samuel Barber – The Elephant Man

Photo: Kanoon

HOME Pick of the Week

Dheepan

Songs

Dheepan is the 2015 Palme D’Or-winning crime drama that tells a story that the media never did

One of the most moving endings of a film in cinema, Barber’s ‘Adagio for Strings’ plays as John Merrick dies while trying to sleep without the support he needs for his deformed head, in an attempt to be like everyone else. The beautiful string music heightens the tragedy of this sympathetic and misunderstood character.

Nadia Cheung Subeditor If you know anything about the Sri Lankan Civil War, you probably might feel that it was a war, derived from a conflict between the Singhalese and Tamil people of Sri Lanka, that was not reported on as much as it could or should have been.

Described as a “war without witnesses”, a lot protests happened over the years, but many probably didn’t know why or what they were about other than that “it’s probably something to do about Sri Lanka and politics, maybe.”

Dheepan is a drama following a family of strangers headed by a former Tamil Tiger militant taking on the identity and passport of a dead man named Dheepan (FYI: the Tamil Tigers were a guerrilla organisation who wanted to gain Eelam as an independent Tamil state, and employed militant tactics to do so, but lost to the government). They leave behind a post-war Sri Lanka to settle down and seek refuge in a housing project somewhere in France with undesirable residents, where violence and crime is just as apparent and is just as much of an everyday occurrence.

Dheepan takes on a job as as housekeeper of the building, sorting out the cleaning, mail and maintenance—all the while manoeuvring around French selfmade criminals and gangsters hoisting guns and swaggering around the residence ready to point, shoot and kill at

Photo: Warner Bros.

2) ‘My Way’ by Sid Vicious – Goodfellas No list about music in movies would be complete without a nod to Martin Scorsese. Part of what is arguably the greatest soundtrack of all time, this Sex Pistols cover of ‘My Way’ makes us feel Henry Hill’s ever defiant attitude as he is forced into a witness protection scheme and flashes back on his life, living his dream as a gangster.

Photo: UGC Distribution

any given moment. Yalini (Kalieaswari Srinivasan), Dheepan’s faux wife takes on the simple task of cooking and cleaning for a nearby resident, all the while resenting that she is France and not in the England where she could have been with her cousins and familiars. She gets caught between trying to make peace. She lacks any maternal instincts and has a tumultuous relationship with 9-year-old Illayaal (Claudine Vinasithamby) who equally has just as much as a hard time connecting with two random grown-ups who pose as her parents, as well as a new school, and learning French.

The ending was pretty disappointing to

say the least, but that’s because I’m not a fan of predictable romance. And the romance was predictable. But it’s okay, because the whole story overshadows that and you won’t have to think about the shabby ending montage anyway. The acting performances in this film were pretty great, and this was probably the most gripping part of what made the film so intense and dramatic for a crime drama film. The cinematography was probably best of all, with a fitting soundtrack that didn’t overcompensate and abuse the subject matter to near-exploitation.

Overall, writer-director Jacques Audiard (Rust and Bone, A Prophet) brings

us into another drama about love, family and humanity. The script is great and the dialogue wasn’t too shabby for a French film that was mostly in Tamil. Dheepan won the Palme D’Or at Cannes Film Festival 2015, and brought widespread attention to the Sri Lankan Civil War. Though still today, there still isn’t the media attention that there could be, and that makes me really question about where popular media stands about these kind of things, but I guess that sadly not many people think it’s worth knowing about.

1) ‘We’ll Meet Again’ by Vera Lynn – Dr Strangelove The end of Stanley Kubrick’s ultimate black comedy Dr Strangelove saw the world launched into the full throes of a nuclear war, while ‘We’ll Meet Again’ plays with absolute comic absurdity. No other film will make you laugh so hard and feel so terrified at the same time, and this ending sequence captures this feeling perfectly.

James Moules Head Film Editor

Books

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Review

A Darker Shade of Magic b V.E. Schwab Catherine Smith Books Contributor “Kell is one of the travellers—magicians with a rare ability to travel between parallel universes connected by one magical city. There’s Grey London, without magic and ruled by the mad King George III. Red London—where magic is revered, and where Kell was raised alongside the heir to the empire.

White London—where people fight to control the remaining magic and magic fights back. And once there was Black London…”

This book is a mixture of fantasy, sci-fi and YA all rolled into one, beautiful little parcel, and I simply could not put it down— seriously. I read this book in two days.

I’ve never read a book

by Schwab before and I

found myself pleasantly surprised by her writing style, although I found it a little difficult to get into at first and the distinction between the past and the present wasn’t always clear. However, Schwab’s world building was flawless—detailed and in-depth, if a little long-winded at times, she managed to create an intricate vision of the world(s) she had created.

The book itself is wholly intriguing, tinged with mystery and adventure, Schwab really immerses you in the characters’ lives and you find yourself drawn almost completely into the book with very little effort on the part of the reader. The plot is tense, mysterious and utterly captivating—I often found my heart rate

speeding up as I reached some of the more intense and dangerous scenes.

Character development throughout the story was evident—our main character Kell truly made a name for himself and I was thrilled as he became humbler, stronger and more conscientious as he struggled through the more dangerous plot twists and fight scenes.

A Darker Shade of Magic is a thrilling read; it’s fast-packed, engaging and packed with enough magic and mystery to satisfy even the most adventurous of minds.

If you enjoy YA, Fantasy, or Adventure novels, I highly recommend you give this one a go.

Photo: vjeran_pavic @Flickr

Upcoming

New Zadie Smith novel

Zadie Smith is the most exciting author alive today. Her first novel White Teeth was highly acclaimed—winning a plethora of awards including Guardian First Book Award, the Whitbread First Novel Award, and the Commonwealth Writers Prize (Overall Winner, Best First Book). It is a deeply, achingly hip novel which cuts to the soul of London.

Smith was born in North London in 1975 to an English father and a Jamaican mother. She studied English at Cambridge University, graduating in 1997.

Her most recently published novel NW is one of those books which will send you into an existential crisis but in the bes way possible. It again draws on the vulnerability and fragility of humans who too often try so hard to be something that they are not.

Smith’s novels are sharp insights into the real lives of many and their non-linear structure, which often toys with prose-poetry, is unique and strangely moving. I hope this makes it partly clear why the announcement of an upcoming novel is perhaps the best thing that has ever happened to

contemporary literature.

Swing Time will be her first novel since 2012’s NW and is about “two brown girls [who] dream of being dancers”. Her publishers say that it is due this Winter. Hamish Hamilton has said that Smith’s Swing Time is “a story about friendship and music and stubborn roots, about how we are shaped by these things and how we can survive them”, said Hamish Hamilton. Set in north-west London and west Africa, it will follow the lives of two girls who both want to become dancers, but only one of whom has talent.

“The other has ideas: about rhythm and time, about black bodies and black music, what constitutes a tribe, or makes a person truly free.

It’s a close but complicated childhood friendship that ends abruptly in their early 20s, never to be revisited, but never quite forgotten, either,” said Hamish Hamilton, which described the novel as “dazzlingly energetic and deeply human”.

I have no doubt that Swing Time is going to be devastating.

Featured

Rachel Dolezal signs publishing deal to ‘write book on race’ Dolezal, the civil-rights activist who made headlines last year after her white heritage was exposed says the book will be about people ‘caught between boundary lines of race or culture or ethnicity’.

Dolezal identified as a black woman and was president of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) chapter in Spokane, Washington, until her estranged

biological parents revealed last year that her heritage is white. She subsequently resigned from the NAACP and lost her position teaching Africana Studies at Eastern Washington University, while facing anger from the American black community.

Dolezal said she was “really excited to write the book and really get into addressing some of the issues I’ve researched for many years”. “Race didn’t create racism, but racism created race,” she told Today.

Zadie Smih. Photo: bolus @Flickr

UNION Awards

10&12 May 2016

18:30, Manchester ACADEMY TUESDAY 10 MAY

STUDENT VOICE AND COMMUNITIES AWARDS

THURSDAY 12 MAY

SOCIETIES AND STUDENT MEDIA AWARDS

MANCHESTERSTUDENTSUNION.COM/CELEBRATEWEEK

Food & Drink

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ISSUE 20/ 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Reviews

The Wooden Spoon of European Cuisine: Britain

‘The onlooking cameras salivate, food bloggers moan. Drip, drip, drip goes the butter.’

Felix Sanders An article I’ve been wanting to write for a while is some kind of synopsis of British food. An attempt to define what it is, if anything at all, where it’s being done and who’s doing it well. I was at a party in North London once, with some students from UCL, a discussion arose about British food and I remember this young Frenchman laughing and insisting adamantly that no such thing even existed. At the time, I didn’t have much of an argument to rattle him with. And, as is the purpose of all knowledge, I was given the impetus to better understand British food so I can shoot outspoken Frenchman down at dinner parties.

During a weekend in early March, I had the unprecedented and uncoordinated good fortune to attend two very British gastronomic events. The first was a dinner at TNQ Bar and Restaurant in the Shudehill side of the Northern Quarter. The second was a chance to interview a prominent Irish chef, John Relihan. Relihan had a stall at the St Patrick’s Day ‘Irish feast’ in Trafalgar Square.

British cuisine, to some extent, is a mirror, a reflection of what was historically an agrarian society.

British food is not characterised by great excess, it’s about a sense of resourcefulness, using all of the products of the slaughter, about using all the game and foul that have become so associated with Britain. It’s about Goosnargh Chicken. It’s all about Goosnargh Chicken. Like Nordic cuisine, it’s about serving what’s around you, in a style people can relate too. I think that idea of being able to relate to the way the food is prepared is really important.

That’s why I vastly preferred Relihan’s Irish stew to his pulled pork burger.

To be honest, I’m rather tired of pulled things, why did every food outlet in 2015 become obsessed with this one texture? It is a #foodtrend I would happily see the back of.

Back to Relihan’s stew, it was great, Irish beef with various familiar root vegetables such as the unwa-

veringly humble turnip. But who is John Relihan and why should we care what direction he steers British food? He is a product of the prodigal Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen apprenticeship, he has worked in San Francisco and practiced at the alter of what

that were about to descend on Nelson’s column, he talked about a couple of things that I considered to be triumphantly British. He had two barrel barbecues on which was burning coal from Oxford. Enter coal man, a gruff, soot-covered coal impresario with

Fergus Henderson. Photo: The Telegraph

some consider the temple of British cuisine, St Johns in London, he then ran Jamie’s Barbacoa, a real meat and fire affair, before now opening Holy Smoke back in Cork, Ireland.

To me, he seemed like a real chef’s chef, unpretentious and a self-admitted ‘food nerd.’ Whilst talking to him as he prepared for the impending crowds

a shock of grey hair. He was standing to one side of Relihan’s stand talking to anyone concerned about the benefits of is 100% natural charcoal.

Relihan was using said coal infused with turf shipped over from his native Ireland, to create a wonderfully British smoke, that was being infused into bits of brilliant Irish cow, that probably fed on

the sod they were being smoked with. A cyclical triumph.

As we stood in the shadow of the national gallery, Relihan dabbed at the beef and pork belly with strokes of a brush, built from a bundle of thyme bound around the handle of a wooden spoon, dipped in butter, the onlooking cameras salivate, food bloggers moan. Drip, drip, drip goes the butter.

I stare into space, before staring back down at one of the best mouthfuls I’ve had in recent years.

It was from a starter that Ms Williams and myself were sharing at TNQ. Pig’s head terrine and Scottish scallops. The would be pescatarian sits opposite me with a similar expression of unbeforeseen joy.

The TNQ advertises as British cuisine and sources all its products from this green and present land.

Our other starter was pigeon breast, served very rare, with cherries. It didn’t reach quite the same echelon as the pig but was still good. Both were relatively simplistic, like the head chef of TNQ, Anthony Fieldman, can be quoted as saying, not a lot of fuss or frills, it is the ingredients themselves that speak volumes.

And I think that’s something that really characterises British cuisine, the simple marriage of quality ingredients. In that way, it is similar to Italian cooking.

For mains, we had the sea bass and the chicken.

The chicken breasts were from a Goosnargh Chicken, which is like the Aberdeen Angus of poultry.

They’re from Preston in Lancashire, comfortingly close to home. The sea bass sat on a tomato & roast red pepper compote, the most distinct bit of Mediterranean influence, but had a potato galette made of the inimitable British institution that is the Jersey royal.

Its things like that that I really love about Fieldman’s cooking, his celebration of British ingredients. He draws focus to what we do have rather than what we don’t.

Photo: Henry Leutwyler

Mixing things up at Black Dog NWS Stanley Johnson drinks some tasty cocktails at the launch of the new range of masterclasses at Black Dog NWS

When they first asked me if I wanted to attend the VIP launch of the new cocktail masterclasses at Black Dog NWS, I hesitated. I asked myself: am I qualified to review such an event? True, I like drinking cocktails. Then I remembered that I used to work behind the bar of a well-known sports ground which pretty much only sold cold Stella or warm Greene King IPA. So, technically, I am an ex-professional barman. I even made a shandy one time, which I’m pretty sure counts as a cocktail.

It turns out that the Black Dog cocktail ‘masterclasses’ aren’t exclusive gatherings for master mixologists, but actually events which punters – of any level of experience – can book for birthdays parties, dates, hen nights etc. etc. What could be more fun than a couple of hours of messing around behind a bar making tasty drinks and then drinking them?

So, I accepted.

Arriving at Black Dog for the launch event, things got off to a great start with a welcome Bellini. Our hosts explained that the classes come in three themes: ‘Studio 54’, ‘Boardwalk’, and ‘Poco Loco’, each with its own selection of drinks and featuring a mix of classics and more unusual concoctions.

There were demonstrations of each theme running simultaneously.

We grabbed a stool at the bar where the ‘Studio 54′ masterclass was being showcased. The class is named after the legendary late 70s New York nightclub where Rick James once punched Eddie Murphy’s brother in the head. Accordingly, the theme has a retro New York flavour. After watching a couple of Espresso Martinis and Manhat-

tans being made, it was my turn behind the bar. I chose to make a New York Sour, which I’m told was actually invented in Chicago. The barman talked me through the process: a couple of shots bourbon, some sugar syrup, lemon juice, and bitters all shaken twice, both with and without ice. So far, that’s a pretty standard Whisky Sour. What makes it a New York Sour is a glug of red wine. The resultant drink, garnished with a slice of lemon, was very good. You may have heard you aren’t supposed to mix the grape and the grain, but the combination of whisky and wine makes for a delicious combination of sourness, sweetness and astringency.

Next, like some kind of moth, I found myself drawn to the flickering flames on the other side of the room. This turned out be the demonstration of ‘Poco Loco’, a ‘south of the border’ themed class (that’s Mexico, not Stockport). While waiting to make a drink, I sipped on a Hurricane: a fruity rum drink which looked like a caricature of a cocktail sipped on a tropical beach. It even had a giant straw and a big slice of pineapple in. When my turn came, I went for a Flaming Tequila Sunrise. Following instructions, I layered grenadine, orange juice, and chucked in some syrup and tequila. The fun bit came last, with the ignition of a sugar cube placed on half a lime and soaked in Wray and Nephew overproof rum (63% ABV!). The floating, flaming garnish looked awesome. Sensibly, the safety conscious barman recommended putting the fire out before attempting to drink.

Determined to leave no stone unturned in my

Photo: Cottonopolis

Photo: The Mancunion

quest to drink more cocktails, I headed round the corner to check out ‘the Boardwalk’. This class is supposed to hark back to that time when the USA decided to ban booze but people kept drinking anyway, also known as Prohibition. The cocktails here are strong and old school but with a classy feel. I made a New Orleans Sazerac, a short drink a little like a Negroni and consisting of a potent mixture of Absinthe, syrup, rye whiskey and bitters and served over cubed ice.

After this, we convinced our barman Josh to go off piste and to make us a cocktail of his own creation. He made us a remix of a classic Italian cocktail in the form of the ‘Obi Wan Negroni’, which he had dreamt up in honour of the release of the new Star Wars film. I don’t even like Star Wars, but I know a good pun when I see one. The drink was bloody good, too.

Not only are Black Dog’s barfolk helpful and friendly, they clearly know their drinks and how to mix them, even beyond the confines of their masterclass menus. Black Dog’s masterclasses are £25 per head, which makes it a bit more expensive than

a trip to JD Wetherspoon. However, good cocktails always cost a bit more, and at Black Dog NWS you have the added bonus of getting behind the bar and learning about the drinks in the process.

One word of warning: if you ask your housemate where ‘Black Dog NWS’ is and he says, ‘Northern Quarter’, ignore him. It’s on New Wakefield Street, near Oxford Road Station. If, like I did, you take this advice, you might find yourself steaming across Manchester so that you don’t miss your cocktail class. On the other hand, arriving out of breath after a twenty minute power walk is a good way to work up a thirst.

Thank you readers and contributors for a wonderful year of food & drink! You can still find us here for more nibbles of fun: Facebook: The Mancunion: Food and Drink Twitter: @MancunionFood Email: food@mancunion.com

Photos

Food & Drink 23

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM Feature

The Diarrhoea C Dance Elena Gibbs Food ditor

Welcome back to another term of Uni. Easter is over and those interesting things one may or may not have been up to are now a thing of the past. As a time to relieve stress, I took the chance opportunity to join the Newcastle Yoga Society on a week long retreat in an eco-community in Greece.

The schedule consisted of a daily morning run, yoga by the beach, unlimited fresh fruit with Fouhata – a honey, tahini, hazelnut and carob spread – followed by more yoga at the specially made canvas white dome overlooking the sea.

The Free and Real project is all about sustainable living; so their way of life relies on using local produce with a low negative impact on the environment. Free time is spent making natural toothpaste, soaps, jams and reading or producing art. The site uses compost toilets and has an unlimited supply of fresh herbs which can be used to make teas of such combinations as pomegranate, plantain and eucalyptus.

It feels a bit like the best parts of a festival, the hippy workshops and the connections with na-

plete said wash during our stay as the number of toilets was limited to a total of three.

However, to finalise my personal cleanse from any toxins acquired previous to the trip, I took Tuesday morning to try out this questionable practice. Two teaspoons of sea salt into a teapot* of hot water, I poured the solution into my favourite mug and diluted it with some cold. Gulping as fast as possible, the saline liquid travelled into by body as I prepared for the movements of the bowel.

1. Tadasana. Stand with arms raised overhead, fingers interlinked and the palms to the ceiling raise and lower the heels quickly.

2. Tiryaka Tadasana. Stand with feet apart, arms raised overhead, fingers interlinked and the palms to the ceiling. Bend to left and then to the right.

3. Kati Chakrasana. Standing waist rotation.

Arms out to the side, and twist in pushing the alternate shoulder back.

4. Tiryaka Bhujangasana. In bhujangasana (cobra pose) with legs apart and toes tucked under. Twist to look over the left shoulder at the right foot then return to centre before twisting to look over the right shoulder at the left foot.

5. Udarakar shanasana. Squat with the hands on the knees. Drop the right knee to the floor and twist to the left. Return to the centre and then drop the left knee to the floor and twist to the right. If this is not possible then move fists from elbow forward and down whilst clenching.

Photo: Jasmine Jade, Newcastle University

ture. The diet is vegan, mostly raw and features a large evening meal with a mixed salad and fresh bread with oil and chilli salt. Examples were baked aubergines, vegetable pasta, spiced rice burgers and mushroom soup.

The sleeping field was a short drive from the eating area and contained four consecutive yurts complete with bunk beds, log fires and soft blankets. One of them was built as a treehouse and if you stood on the wooden pole of the top floor you could see the coast. The field is used as a testing site for ways of natural and semi-natural building before they are brought to the main site of the project, on top of the mountain.

We unlearned ‘the lie we live’, watched La Belle Verte; a French film dramatising the idea of human aliens visiting our distopic cities, and were brought close to tears at the story of a personified plastic bag. A workshop explaining the eco-sanitary protection of the mooncup and reusable lotus pads was given alongside a group rendition of The Circle of Life in a field of trees and daisies. To describe the occurrence as both idyllic and surreal would be an understatement.

To sum up the lessons we were given, it was gently outlined that each individual is responsible for their impact on the planet. Be that through food waste, excess plastic, tissue, light and heat, each person makes a difference to the weight of the carbon footprint. The idea of the vegan lifestyle was also to reduce the need for medicinal input by maintaining a healthy body accentuated by daily movement. The project effortlessly displayed how this way can be easily and enjoyably possible.

Our first yoga session was led by Thanos, the friendly Grecian rock band drummer with a ‘fuckin gonuts’ t-shirt and an unkempt beard.

Before beginning practice, he told us of the Laghoo Shankhaprakshalana: the intestinal wash.

This involves the consumption of one litre of salt water followed by a series of stretches repeated eight times in a cycle of three. We didn’t com-

These actions are repeated eight times each, in three cycles, drinking two cupfuls of the prepared water first. After the dance, my stomach was yet to speak so I sealed the deal by drinking another mug of himalayan salt water and running to the shop for bananas. I returned in still a steady state but after 20 minutes heard the water in my stomach. Toilet time was minimal and an unexpectedly smooth transaction. I did three poos. Not the gushing load of shit I was hoping for, though the results will be different for everyone as it depends on a multitude of factors such as current diet, time last eaten, level of fitness, etc.

It’s cheaper than a colonic and is an amazing natural way to clear the body. Who needs laxatives? After the process one can lie in Savasana for 30 minutes or as long as desired. Then food can be consumed and the daily routine commenced.

The body is capable of so much more than we use it for. For a multitude of languages, physical skills, healing and survival abilities. Our current special powers tend to involve the controlling of smartphones or superspeed touch typing. While this has its uses, why not do more? It upsets me a little that I can write a 3,000 word essay but can’t do a backwards crab walk. freeandreal.org jalanetipot.com/intestine_benefits *edit: 3 litres in total are required for the cleanse. I only used one which probably accounts for the lack of dramatic success.

A K Easy no-bake E Oreo cheesecake Photo: The Mancunion

Whip up this creamy Oreo cheesecake using only four ingredients and your microwave. Ellen Fouweather Ingredients: 200g Oreos 50g butter 400g cream cheese 200g white chocolate Optional decoration: an extra few Oreos to crumble on top Equipment: 20cm Cake Tin Microwave Rolling pin Large sandwich bag Method: Put the Oreos in a large sandwich bag and use a rolling pin to crush them up into fine crumbs.

Cut up the butter into chunks and microwave for 1 minute. Mix the Oreos and melted butter and press into a cake tin to make the base.

Next, break the white chocolate into chunks

and microwave for 30 seconds. Remove from microwave, stir, and microwave for another 30 seconds. Repeat this until the chocolate is completely melted. It is really important to only microwave the chocolate in 30 second bursts, stirring in between, so that it does not burn.

Once the chocolate is melted, beat it into the cream cheese and pour onto the base. Decorate with some more crushed-up Oreos and leave in the fridge to set for 2 hours.

Note: If you don’t have all the equipment, you can improvise! Rather than using a cake tin, you can press the biscuit base onto a flat plate and then build up the filling on top. It won’t look as neat, but will still taste the same. Similarly, you can use pretty much any heavy object from your kitchen to crush up the Oreos (or you could bash the bag of Oreos against all the hard surfaces in your kitchen, though this can scare housemates).

Hedgehog Cake

Watermarks: Freepik

A bit like a cross between rocky road and chocolate tiffin, Hedgehog cake does not resemble a hedgehog in any way and is not really a cake. Ellen Fouweather This is my granny’s recipe, so she can take the blame for the bizarre and slightly misleading name. Hedgehog cake is amazingly easy to make and seriously addictive. It is absolutely impossible to eat in moderation! I make this with drinking chocolate, as I think it makes it taste fudgier, but if you don’t have such a sweet tooth using cocoa powder instead will give it a darker richer taste.

Ingredients: 125g butter 125g caster sugar 1 egg 3 tbsp. drinking chocolate (the “just add milk” variety not the “just add water”, as contains added milk powder) 250g of plain biscuits (rich tea or malted milk work well)

Intestines. Photo: Hey Paul Studios @Flickr

Method: Cream the butter and sugar, then add the egg and beat until smooth. Add the drinking chocolate.

Transfer the mixture to a saucepan and heat gently until it darkens in colour and begins to bubble, being careful not to let it burn. Break up the biscuits (the easiest way to do this is to put them in a large sandwich bag and hit them with a rolling pin). Add the biscuits to the mixture and stir until they are completely coated. Spread out the mixture on a lined baking tray and leave in the fridge to set for 24 hours.

Photo:The Mancunion

Arts

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ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Review

Tibor Reich

The Whitworth gives a slight and unimaginative view of a postwar textile pioneer Photo: The Whitworth Gallery

Ashley McGovern Arts Editor A short British Pathe film from 1957 shows footage of a genteel, bow-tied man cutting and arranging square patterns on his work bench. With a joyful newsreel platitude, the arch RP voiceover announces that the subject, textile designer Tibor Reich, manages to marry the ‘wonders of nature and the ingenuity of man.’

Next comes some footage of him crouching by river bed to take close-up photographs of blades of grass which he will later use as the basis of his patterns.

The Whitworth’s latest textile exhibition does nothing more that convert the chirpy vision of the Pathe film, full of postwar affluence and Council of Industrial Design-style promotion, into a miniscule retrospective: polite, respectful, even awed but with little real insight into the artist.

Tibor Reich’s career and vibrant artistic vision is the result of his European Modernist education and industrial training. Born in Budapest in 1916 into a family of Jewish textile industrialists, he became a decorated student, moving from formal Weimar Bauhaus training, Viennese textile schools and eventually Leeds University. His Modernist background then became absorbed into the postwar drive for proud national declarations of British design in the form of the Festival of Britain in 1951. After creating his own company, Tibor Ltd. in 1946, he experimented with fibres, photographic sources and ‘deep-texture’ fabrics and gained a host of commercial clients. He lived through an age

of nationalised art exhibitions, a scene that is lost to our one of globalised art fairs and inflated ‘art world’ economics. Unfortunately, this history is limited to a few captions on the gallery wall.

The curators package Reich as a timid Hungarian Ambassador for Soft Fabrics circa 1956. The first room takes a cursory look at some angular Bauhaus architectural drawings (where is the background of Werskstatte, Stolz and Klimt that obviously play a huge role?). Some comic sketches of shrouded Hungarian women are blown up on the wall next to some ideas for jugs and a single board about his own swanky two-floor house, notorious for its free-standing onionshaped fireplace, build at the height of his career. The main room shows his textiles dangling from the ceiling like a messy Moroccan stall. (Also the room where the jolly Pathe announcer is played annoyingly on loop). The largest space is taken over by a selection of 1950’s wallpaper designs, and though they establish a background of professional innovation – the Palladio range designed by Richard and Guy Busby were made using the then novel method of screen-print – it seems like an irrelevance. Large scrolls are pinned against the wall as though the Rothko Chapel had moved into the backroom of Homebase.

Reich’s designs are brilliant and deserve a far better retrospective. The postwar prevalence of grandiose exhibitions is lost and this quite affair, the Pathe newsreel version of art history, is no way to access this important time period.

Review

MAFA Spring Exhibition

Ashley McGovern Arts Editor

There are very few, if any, Marxist sweet dispensers; no corner shops or kids arcade I’ve ever ventured into that stock sherbet Lenins. However, Emily Rusby’s ‘Untitled Vending Machine #1′ may have initiated a new type of socialist sculpture that caters for sweet-toothed revolutionaries. It takes the form of a classic gumball dome, and glued above the silver turning handle is a label that informs us that, inside the glass bubble, and curled within each individual plastic goody egg, is a single paper strip of text taken from The Communist Manifesto. The funfair form and the heady political content works in a few ways: It evokes ‘naive’ student politics as well as the complex legacies of all grand ideologies, which are often cut-up by supposed disciples who latch onto the odd potent phrase and forget the rest. The wit of the piece comes across even more given that the exhibition space of Manchester Academy of Fine Art’s Spring exhibition is The Portico Library on the corner of Mosley Street. Founded in 1806 and inspired by the gentlemanly seclusion of Liverpool’s first newsroom and library, The Athenaeum, it remains true to the early nineteenth-century model of the subscription library, where members had to be shareholders to access the collection.

Rusby’s pay-as-you-go Left Book Club toy harks back to the social shift from exclusive readership to free public libraries.

Each year the Portico Library hosts MAFA’s student show and the works are of a high standard. As you would expect from any collection of graduate work, the gallery displays some apprentice pieces that quickly give away their artistic influence. There

are colourful Matissean still lives and rainy Northern street scenes, which, except for shadowy modern cars, are exactly like the lamp-lit cobbles of Victorian painter Atkinson Grimshaw; there is one Futurist-style scene of countryside taken from the viewpoint of a passenger seat; one or two heads done with the greasy thickness of Frank Auerbach; and the odd classicised feminine portrait.

This is not to diminish some very promising and fascinating pieces. Alan Edwards’ acrylic abstracts start with rectangular De Stijl forms but contain sketches of house facades, dogs, and silhouettes where you expect undisturbed geometry. The two Wayfarer multimedia works by Henry Quick are suitably crusty and bookish. Splayed Bibles are held down with string on a smeared white board, and still visible underneath are maps of motorway routes, certain parts are covered with splodges of wax. Bridget Collin’s wintry painting on wooden board, Prague’s Snow Blanket, uses the hard verticality of her material to present a sweeping landscape view from the edges of a forest, over a snowy park and onto the rooftops of cramped city homes. The tree shapes are made by gauging into the wood, and there is a brilliant flattening of perspective. Technologies old and new are used to good effect: Glenys Latham shows four inkjet iPad sketches of waves and there are a number of well-executed traditional forms like linocuts and copperplate etchings.

Big group shows like this are difficult to review; you can only give brief impressions of the artists. Having said this, the show is to be highly recommended for anyone wanting to see the early works of future artists.

Theatre 25

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Review

Review: The Witches

Review

Review: L’elisir d’amore

The Opera North’s light-hearted take on a perennial Italian masterpiece arrives with all the optimism of the 1950s set in which it is packaged

Kate Harvey explains why this transformation of a childhood classic into a zany musical sensation offers a unique theatrical experience for both young and old Dahl fans alike Kate Harvey Reviewer Although I may have been one of the oldest audience members present, I couldn’t help but get a bit antsy before the theatre performance of one of my most nightmarish childhood reads, The Witches on stage at The Lowry. Dahl’s harrowing descriptions of numerous hysterical hags never quite escaped me to this day, especially coupled with Quentin Blake’s etched illustrations of their bald heads and square feet. I was eager to see what director Nikolai Foster would deliver with what seemed to me endless possibilities of reworking the children’s classic.

The Witches, as with most of Roald Dahl’s works, is a moralistic tale with copious doses of child cruelty, a wild mixture of animals and children and an infamously abominable villain. The Grand High Witch was performed superbly by Sarah Ingram, teamed with a highly expressive variety of grimaces and her ‘rrreally vunderful’ Germanic accent. Flanked

by her cronies played by Sioned Saunders and Elexi Walker, the traditional witches’ metamorphosis into bald monsters was turned on its head as they were adorned with colourful wigs and costumes designed by Isla Shaw – an flamboyant twist on Shakespeare’s Macbeth, except this time pouring over a cauldron of ‘Formula 86 delay action mouse maker’. Despite meeting his unfortunate fate being turned into a mouse, Fox Jackson-Keen gave a happy-go-lucky portrayal of ‘Boy’, whose athletic ability kept the story moving.

The seven-total-cast were tremendous in their pan-musical ability to hop between instruments that were incorporated into an inventive set that was set in a dilapidated seaside town hotel, hosting the annual witches’ meeting.

The stage nodded subtly to elements of other Dahl classics with oversized props and pyrotechnics, and although not as musically orientated as perhaps Tim Minchin’s musical score for the West End adaptation of Matilda, it struck the balance well impressing the audience

with authentic sound effects, the odd musical chorus and optical illusions.

Despite only lasting one hour and fifteen minutes in total (a sensible decision made to pacify the younger members of the audience), it became clear that it was by no means a performance intended for this age bracket alone.

Foster clearly understood the potential of Dahl’s farreaching tales, moulding it for the purpose of her own exuberant interpretation but never losing sight of his imaginative capabilities to bring out the inner child in everybody watching.

At times I found myself laughing out loud at its sheer outlandishness; however it was one that cleverly darted between the gruesome, touching, and the downright silly.

Unfortunately the chance to see The Witches for their Manchester dates has now been and gone, but the Leicester Curve/ Rose Theatre Kingston companies are currently in the thick of a hectic UK tour, so keep your eyes peeled if you’re on the lookout for ideas for something that all of the family can enjoy.

Photo: Robert Workman

Kate Harvey Reviewer Navigating your way around the opera genre may seem daunting, yet Daniel Slater’s adaptation most definitely confirms that it is something to be enjoyed among a range of audiences. This production, having enjoying an excellent reception since 2001, returns to The Lowry with a retro twist in 2016.

Complete with sleek Vespas, hot air balloons and an ocean summer breeze, Robert Innes Hopkins gives a taste of la dolce vita with an eyecatching set design.

L’elisir d’amore, literally ‘The Elixir of Love’ in Italian, is a whimsical update on the opera buffa genre, designed originally as an upbeat comedy for nineteenth century audiences. This performance is a story of the loveable underdog Nemorino, played by Jung Soo Yun, who falls madly in love with the beautiful Adina in an impressive portrayal by the

language skills, this performance does a splendid job in Britalian; the actors perform in English but sing in Italian with English subtitles.

The musical accompaniment was seamlessly conducted by Tobias Ringborg, and responded accordingly to the range of emotions exhibited in the vocals of the cast. Operatically speaking, the performance was sung in a bel canto style, its purpose being to exhibiting the splendour of the human voice. Often left unsupported by the orchestra, their voices resonated beautifully as all of the vocalists displayed a mastery of a challenging style, while managing to remain faithful to the liveliness of the play itself.

Opera North will return between the 13th and 18th June of the summer season, this time with a four-part adaptation series of the Richard Wagner epic music dramas—collectively known as Die Ring des Nibelungen (The Ring Series).

Review

Editor’s Picks

What’s on this week?

Tuesday NDT2 – Lowry Theatre, 7:30PM King Lear – Royal Exchange Theatre, 1PM A Vision of Elvis – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM Get Carter – Lowry Theatre, 8PM

Thursday Get Carter – Lowry Theatre, 8PM Pact with Politeness – Lowry Theatre, 8PM Am I Dead Yet? – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7PM The Dreamboys – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM

Wednesday NDT2 – Lowry Theatre, 7:30PM King Lear – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7PM Beyond the Barricade – Palace Theatre, 7:30PM Arts Award Drop – Contact Theatre, 5:30PM

Friday Get Carter – Lowry Theatre, 8PM Care Takers – Lowry Theatre, 8PM King Lear – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7PM Am I Dead Yet? – Royal Exchange Theatre, 7PM

Photo: garryknight @Flickr

Romanian soprano Gabriela Iştoc. Appearing self-assured and indifferent to Nemorino’s sincerity, Adina is instead initially swept off her feet by the accomplished Belcore (Duncan Rock), who rivals the luckless waiter as he arrives in style on a vintage Vespa. And so, inspired by the love potion in the tale of Tristan und Isolde, Nemorino looks for help from a swindling quack doctor, played

by Richard Burkhard. Duped with a cheap bottle of alcohol instead of a bonafide love potion, Slater’s production features an amusing skit of inebriated partygoers in which Adina eventually realises her true feelings for the other.

Although largely a stranger to opera myself, I was pleasantly surprised to recognise the rendition of ‘Una Furtive Lagrima’, ‘A Furtive Tear’ in Italian—a melody loved by none other than Pavarotti himself and movingly delivered by Jung Soo Yun. Have no fear if you haven’t had the chance to brush up on your

A few picks throughout the week in Manchester Fancy getting involved?

Unfortunately this is the final print copy of The Mancunion for this academic year.

But we’re always looking for new contributors.

If you would like to contribute to the Theatre section or even apply as the 2016/17 Theatre Editor contact:

theatre@mancunion.com

Review: Riverdance 21 Olivia Gaskill Reviewer

I sat down in the O2 Apollo with high expectations of Riverdance, and I can say I was certainly not disappointed. Now in its 21st year of production, Riverdance is touring around the UK at 13 different venues from March to May 2016, before moving on to Canada.

As the lights in the theatre dim, Bill Whelan’s ‘Reel Around the Sun’ takes us on the start of our journey through the history and struggles of Ireland.

In front of me I can see a fellow audience member moving his hands to the beat, and as the ensemble of dancers file on stage, I can feel my feet tapping along too. Although, I was disappointed by the lack of crowd response when the lead male dancer, Callum Spencer, made his début mid-dance, as I thought his entrance and remarkable footwork deserved at least a few cheers.

The lead female dancer, Ciara Sexton, captivated my attention, and it seemed everyone else’s

too, as she appeared on stage during ‘The Countess Cathleen/ Women of the Sidhe’. Elegance and grace are the words that come to mind when watching her dance and you can see why she was cast as the lead female.

Although an Irish show, Riverdance is not limited by just one style of dance, featuring performances from those such as flamenco dancer, Rocio Montoya, and a Russian ensemble who show off their talents through their brilliant leaps and pirouettes.

My personal favourite and a definite crowd pleaser was ‘Trading Taps’, which took us to New York in a comical rivalry between Irish and Tap dancers. The two lead tappers were immensely talented and, not surprisingly, received the loudest cheer during the finale encore. Neither missed a beat and they seemed to take full advantage of there being a section with no music, which left the audience wanting more.

Drawing on its first performance at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1994, the finale

was also a crowd favourite.

Opening with a duet between the leads and ending in the iconic line of dancers, this routine brought goosebumps to my arms and made me want to watch it all again from the beginning.

Riverdance will be performing in the UK until the 15th of May, so if you get the chance to see it and are debating whether to buy a ticket, I recommend this: Act fast, you certainly won’t regret it.

Trading Taps Photo: Riverdance

26

Lifestyle

ISSUE 20 / 18th APRIL 2016 WWW.MANCUNION.COM

Tinder tales Certainly not your typical bedtime stories...

Most people probably enjoy a bit of rough and tumble in the bedroom, the odd bite here, and a scratch or two there. But have you ever been bitten so hard you literally bled onto your pillow? That’s what happened to me on my last Tinder date. Conversation had been ordinary, foreplay unremarkable; I would never have guessed that she was a vampire. Then suddenly, out of nowhere she sinks her teeth into my neck and tries to take a chunk out. I yell out “AAAHHHHHOOOOWWWWW!!!!”, waking all of my housemates with screams of pain. I’m still trying to decide whether or not the pleasure was worth the pain.”

going to vote BNP in the following election. Disclaimer: this was my desperate response to the situation.

As that strategy failed, I pulled the “Emergency phonecall card” and stared passionately at the table whilst attempting to keep a straight face. When I went to make my exit, she didn’t make it easy. At first, she doubted me, then proceeded to follow me down the road at five feet’s distance. When I finally neared my place, I turned and asked her if she needed help getting home. In response she offered to wait until my “emergency” was over and we could continue with her date. The farce was up and I eventually came clean that I didn’t want to continue the date (mainly because my mate was standing 50 metres away, pissing himself laughing). Her completely understandable response was “Wanker” and she consequently stormed off.”

“So I take this girl out on a date, one thing leads to another and she ends up staying at mine. Pretty harmless, right? Wrong. But I wasn’t to know that until I embarked on my daily pampering ritual the following morning. Like many men, I’m a fan of that Mint and Tea Tree shower gel for reasons I’m sure you can guess for yourself. Unfortunately, this product doesn’t mix well with open wounds. Much to my horror and agony, I discovered this very fact for myself whilst in the shower.

At closer inspection of the area of searing pain, I realised that it resembled what I imagine it would look like after a passionate night with the likes of Edward Scissorhands.

Then again, maybe he’d have been a more gentle lover?”

“Met this girl on Tinder, got the mates’ approval, even verified on Snapchat. So I arranged to meet her at Revs in Fallowfield, a classic Tinder date spot. Waiting outside, she calls me telling me she’s nearly there. Just to get things straight, I wasn’t looking for a marriage but difficult not to be disappointed.

I’m facing the former BaaBar and a girl comes round the corner on the phone. Not bad, pretty chuffed actually. All of a sudden, I’m tapped on the shoulder from behind and my actual Tinder date greets me. Much to my astonishment, the girl in front of me looks as if she’d eaten her Tinder self and is wearing every foundation available in Selfridges. Clearly, my shock was not well concealed

“When I met this girl she seemed jovial and pretty.

But I quickly realised she was on a phenomenal comedown from the night before and could barely string a sentence together. Her jaw ached and despite my best efforts to lift her spirits she sat there dejected for the better part of three hours, at points with tears in her eyes. She turned her nose up at the bottle of wine I’d bought, so out of desperation, I drank the bottle, went to the bar to buy another and bolted.”

Photo: zoup7667@Fickr

as she asks me: “Are you okay? You look really confused.” The gentleman that I am, I brushed it off with a smile and proceeded to guide her into Revs whilst plotting my exit plan.

The barmaid at Revs definitely knew from the expression on her face. Drinks bought, we sat down and she necked her double vodka and lemonade as I cautiously sipped my beer. First strategy, make her dislike me: Her: “I have three cats”, Me: “I fucking hate cats”; I don’t though, I actually quite like them. Upon discovering that she studied Politics, I informed her that I was probably

“Our first Tinder date went spectacularly. We wandered around a London park for the afternoon arguing about everything under the sun: art, literature, who was more posh, and the best type of coffee. “This is the one!” I thought.

We had a real rapport intellectually and physically. But suddenly, after 10 weeks, she stopped answering my messages and blocked me on social media. I was left heart broken. “How had she slipped away? What had I done wrong?!” I asked around a bit and apparently she’d had a long-term boyfriend the whole time. I was just there filling the gap while he was on his gap year.”

End of Days: How to throw a great graduation party Success or failure, here’s our guide to ending this year in style Alice Williams Lifestyle Editor With everyone currently knee-deep in the mire of dissertations, essays and the inevitable exam preparation, the idea of any kind of end-of-year celebration can seem like a mere caffeine-induced hallucination. But if you’re serious about throwing a massive party to celebrate the end of your time at university, it might be worth considering a bit of planning in advance – if only to avoid the potential of sitting in Platt Fields Park with a multipack of cider, facing the yawning risk of unemployabilty ahead of you. Here are a few things that you might like to consider Whether or not to have a theme As tempting as it may be to theme it an End of Days party, it might not seem so funny when everyone’s 6 pints down, have realised the gravity of the situation and are sobbing about never seeing everyone again. Themed parties where you make everyone dress up can often go one of two ways – either everyone gets really into it or really can’t be bothered. Make your own mind up on what the mood is likely to be amongst your friends, but after a long period of work, don’t be surprised if your insistence for fancy dress results in some very grumpy looking ‘cereal killers’ covered in the contents of their recycling box.

Where to have it This seems like an obvious one, since whenever anyone holds a party it’s generally at their own house. However, with everyone’s rent period coming to an end, most people will be subject to house inspections from their landlords and most likely will lose their deposit if there’s damage. Either you can be willing to risk the clean up, and could perhaps move some of your things out early so there’s more space, or you could ask some of your friends who are sticking around for another year if you could have it in their house.

Massive piss up vs ‘special occasion’ Since this is likely the last time that you’ll be able to fill a massive house with loads of shouting, hammered people who you vaguely know, you might want to make the best of it and spend the evening as you would any other house party. Someone will go home with their course mate, someone will vom in a bush out the back and things will inevitably get broken. However, if you want to herald in a new era of sophisticated gatherings, then

consider having some food on the side and maybe decorating a bit. Perhaps stick up some photos from your time at uni around the house.

To eat or not to eat Leading on from the possibility of potentially having food, consider carefully what kind of food you would serve. A safe bet is to trek to the desolate wasteland of a retail park where Iceland is and end up with hundreds of cocktail sausages and scotch eggs, half-defrosted on the side and probably accidentally covered in someone’s disgarded rum by the end of the night. Perhaps even more dangerous though is to get overly-invested in the notion of ‘being a grown-up’ in your culinary offerings and ending up with hummus, avocado and prawn cocktail smeared all over your walls.

It doesn’t really matter what you decide to do in the end, ultimately it’s just an excuse to get together with all the friends that you’ve made in your time at uni and celebrate the fact that you’ve somehow managed to make it through to the end of this wondrous academic experience. See you at the Curry Mile Job Centre on Monday?

Photo: shuttershock

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Overheard University of Manchester It was almost as bad as the time that the bottom dropped out of my bag for life.

- Overheard in Fallowfield It was the ultimate dilemma— whether to risk not wearing a bra or potentially be brutally stabbed with my underwire.

-Overheard on a 143 Seriously though, her face kind of resembles a shark.

-Overheard on a 142

I have the gut pain of an obese judge in a Charles Dickens BBC adaptation.

-Overheard in Withington I haven’t washed my sheets since I brought them to uni, I’ve just been febreezing them every couple of weeks.

-Overheard in Fallowfield Sainsburys Some of my finest work has been done in the Ali G. My magnum opus, if you will.

-Overheard outside Sam Alex

We could purposely get a dog that wouldn’t last more than a year to live with us, then there’d be no issue about who could take it home.

-Overheard in the SU

The Seven Study Sinners

More than anything, exams bring out our inner maniac… whether we know it or not.

Louisa Hall Contributor

The University Kingdom is rife with a large variety of different species, but during the annual Exam Season in the summer months, 7 new specimens emerge and seize control of campus and its surrounding area. They may have binge-eating as a common trait, but other than that their characteristics are far from the same.

Perhaps the most common species is the Procrastinator. They may not be able to tell you what they’ve been learning for the past 6 months, or where all of their time has gone, but they do know the lyrics to every Eminem rap, the full account of How I Met Your Mother, and can now speak fluent Welsh.

Now if you listen quietly, you’ll be able to hear a cackling sound coming from the kitchen. It’s that ‘study sesh’ that the Psychology clan of Brainstormers are having which sounds too much fun to be educational. The house, tainted with the smell of baking to act as their study snacks (they iced the cake with ‘Freud’ so they’re still learning), becomes a social hub, decorated top-to-bottom with comically large sheets of paper full of these socalled ‘brainstorms’.

The cleanest of them all is the

fresh-faced, smartly dressed Library-goer who arises early to bagsy a computer. Breezing out of the house with a fully-prepared rucksack at the crack of dawn, their main role in the University Kingdom is to add to the guilt and stress of the other studiers. But don’t be fooled! There are many sub-species to the Library-goer: the ITV Player addicts, the ‘I’ll-do-all-myprinting-at-uni-then-go-homeand-tell-myself-that-was-allI-needed-to-do-for-today’ phoneys, and the poor, despairing ‘reading but not retaining’ pupils.

After spending 3 days drafting the revision schedule, and having blown half their student loan on stationary, the Post-It note warrior is now hidden under a mound of brightly coloured paper. Need a stapler? They have three sizes, and 14 colours (but you can’t use magenta because it’s their favourite). Need a sticker? No. Neither do they, but they reward themselves for every top-notch poster with a gold star, secretly knowing that, deep down, they’re not worthy of it. That spelling mistake on the mind-map

isn’t glaringly obvious, but they know it’s there. They will try to stick it onto the wall but, inevitably, it’ll eventually have to be redrawn.

After all, it was the wrong shade of blue anyway.

The Caffeine-oholic pulled an all-nighter again last night and was surprisingly productive, as you can tell from the waft of success coming from their room… or perhaps that’s just the sickly sweet odour of Red Bulls. As you try to sleep every night, the constant pulse of the bass from their speakers vibrates through the K i n g d o m .

A persistent

reminder that people are learning stuff whilst you’re just lying there, thinking about all the stuff that you have to learn.

There’s something stirring upstairs. A strange aura fills the house. The Wallower has emerged.

They’ve risen from their pit in a state of confusion, a layer of grease, and wearing the crumbs of last week’s cheese and onion crisps in a trail from chin-to-PJ top. Apparently self-hygiene isn’t important to everyone during Exam Season. We don’t know what they’ve been doing, we don’t know how much work they’ve done, but we do know that that they need a nice, long shower.

The seventh, and perhaps most deadly, study sinner? The self-proclaimed Moron who, having insisted that they haven’t done any work at all, comes out with better results than everybody else. F*ck them!

Project Parent: the inevitable embarrassment of graduation

What’s the worst that can happen when your friends and parents get together for one big, embarrassing occasion?

Alice Williams Lifestyle Editor There are only two camps who are exempt from being embarrassed by their parents. There’s those who are best buddies with their exceptionally cool parents and all their friends can ring up your mum Jocelyn anytime they like, and there’s those who are so chilled and laid back that they see no reason to be embarrassed.

Sure, your mum may have turned up looking like she’s Princess Eugene at Ascot and your dad hasn’t worked out how to put his phone on silent so his BBC News notifications won’t stop going off, but why should that bother you—you’re your own

person.

For the rest of us, graduation is potentially going to be a bumpy ride.

Never before has there been such a minefield for disaster. Nicknames that you casually chuck about at uni are going to have to be thoroughly vetted, lest you have to explain in detail why your friend Mike is being called ‘Juiceifer’ and no, he doesn’t work at a smoothie place.

Similarly, now might be the time to warn your friends that Mum and Dad are not going to ‘lol’ at that hilarious story where you vomited into your bag and fell asleep on your friend’s doorstep. Not the one where you did 48 hours of work straight because you’d left it until the last minute and

Ask Us

then had an unfortunate incident with some energy drinks. Definitely not the one where you took home ‘Rick’, sang him ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ and realised the next morning that his name was Nick. NO. None of these.

Talk about that great day trip to the Lowry museum, the hilarious time that Sarah accidentally burnt the sausages one Sunday morning and other equally tame situations.

Once you’ve set the ground rules for conversation between parents and friends, now all you have to worry about is your mum potentially sobbing through the ceremony or shouting when you go up.

If you’ve got older siblings or your

dad went to uni himself, he will most likely spend the majority of the day comparing prior graduation ceremonies and admiring the architecture. Seemingly harmless, until the whole family realises that your older brother Tim is now going to need therapy after the three hour period of your Dad indirectly telling him his 2:2 degree in Economics from Bangor University is worth shit if we’re basing it on graduation ceremonies.

Generally though, just treat it as what it is—a highly embarrassing day to celebrate you scraping that degree, with you getting to wear a floor length black cape and a cap.

Enjoy.

?! ?!

My housemate won’t stop watching Dance Moms really loudly and really late at night. She’s got through all the seasons and has started watching them again from the beginning. She says it’s the only relief from her dissertation, but I think I’m going to go nuts if I hear any more shouting about lyrical performances and leotards.

Second Housemate Decide that you’re suddenly really into late-night programmes on TV and claim that her on-demand re-runs will clash with them. Admittedly, if the reason her late-night watching has been annoying you is because you want to sleep then this defeats the purpose, but if you’re stubborn enough about stopping her watching it then this doesn’t matter.

First Housemate Remove the lead from the television. There’s every chance that if she’s determined enough, she’ll just buy a new one, but it’s the most passive aggressive thing you can do without actually having the address the issue to her face.

Third Housemate Just buy her some headphones and send her into her room with her laptop.

Either that, or draw her up a timetable for when she’s allowed to watch Dance Moms. Colour code it and stick it on the wall in the living room. That will definitely go down well.

Future.Union.Manc.Full.pdf

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Premier League 2015-16: Team of the year Photo: envirowarrior @Flickr

James Haughton Sport Reprorter GK: David de Gea (Manchester United) While it has been another turbulent season for Louis Van Gaal’s side, with each positive result seemingly followed by a crushing disappointment, David de Gea has maintained the phenomenal form that has earned him the reputation as one of the world’s most sought-after goalies. He combines an exceptional shot-stopping, with a disciplined command of his box and regular outstanding encounters with crosses. An early 2-1 defeat to Swansea, where Sergio Romero deputised for de Gea, demonstrated the Spaniard’s vitality to the team.

RB: Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur)

While not as shocking as Leicester’s stratospheric rise, nobody predicted Tottenham’s sustained brilliance at the beginning of the season. The improvements made by the players under Mauricio Pochettino have been typified by Kyle Walker. Whereas he was previously thought of as a defensive liability, this season has seen many fewer lapses in judgement. His attacking prowess hasn’t been neutered either, providing an attacking outlet out wide and creating space for Spurs’ attacking midfielders in the process.

CB: Toby Alderweireld (Spurs) After a successful loan spell at Southampton last season, Alderweireld has developed into a phenomenal centre-back this season. His centre-back partnership with Jan Vertonghen, a

Footballing Underdogs

Photo: lefty1007 @Flickr

Alex Whitcomb Sport Reprorter

As the season draws to a close, it is time to acknowledge that this year has been like no other in living memory. A Premier League known for being dominated by a few clubs has seen a side facing relegation last year pull off one of the unlikeliest of performances. The city known for ruling club rugby as opposed to football is on the verge of taking English football’s greatest prize for the first time in its history, and it has captured the interest of fans across the length and breadth of the country.

Underdog trophy wins like—potentially—Leicester’s are rare enough, but something on this scale hasn’t taken place in first division football for many years. You don’t have to look too far to find unlikely winners of the knockout cups in the last 10 years. Portsmouth and Wigan’s FA cups and Birmingham and Swansea’s League cup triumphs show

how whilst the cups tend to be dominated by larger teams, they have retained the romance of regular giant-killings. The Premier League however, has only been won by four different teams in the last 20 years, with Blackburn Rovers title in 1995 being the last time neither Chelsea, Manchester United, Arsenal or Manchester City have won.

Although it may seem odd now, Blackburn were not big underdogs for the league at the time they won it, coming 2nd in the Premier League the year before with Kenny Dalglish in charge and Alan Shearer their star striker. So even 1995 can’t really be compared with 2016.

It’s also worth remembering that Jamie Vardy’s story is incredible in itself. A player who was earning his keep at Fleetwood Town in 2012 is now on the verge of being the top scorer for the champions of England, which in itself is a rise worth celebrating. Breaking Ruud van Nistelrooy’s record of by scoring in

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fellow Belgian, has been key for Spurs this season, with them complementing each other brilliantly. Even after Vertonghen’s injury, Alderweireld has formed an impressive partnership with Kevin Wimmer. Alderweireld’s tackling and ability to read the game, in particular, have impressed, and his heading prowess has proved vital at both ends of the pitch.

CB: Wes Morgan (Leicester) (c) While Robert Huth would also have been worthy of a place in this line-up, his teammate just gets in ahead of him.

Leicester have relied heavily on their defensive solidity recently—they conceded 17 goals in their first ten league games and only 14 since then. At the heart of that defence, Morgan has epitomised Leicester’s willingness to work and successfully nullified opposition attackers with his ability to head the ball, and tackle and block.

LB: Christian Fuchs (Leicester) While Danny Simpson narrowly lost out to Kyle Walker, Leicester’s other full-back, Christian Fuchs, who is captain of the Austrian national side, makes it into this best XI. Throughout the season, Fuchs has rigorously maintained his discipline, knowing when to intercept opposition attacks or support his centre-halves. Fuchs has not neglected his attacking duties, however, and his defence-splitting through ball to Jamie Vardy at home to Manchester United is a testament to that.

DM: N’Golo Kanté (Leicester City) A £5.6 million signing from Caen in the summer, Kanté has attracted rave reviews for his performances this

season, with rumours of £20 million moves to the likes of PSG and Arsenal surfacing. His tenacious tackling and tireless running have allowed him to hassle countless opponents, but he has also demonstrated a skillful touch and an ability to pass the ball, that have helped to launch devastating counterattacks.

RM: Dmitri Payet (West Ham United) Another summer signing, Payet has flourished in a side rejuvenated under Slaven Bilic, scoring nine goals and having eight assists. Payet has adapted well to the rigours of the Premier League, being able to outmuscle opposition defenders as well as silkily weave past them. Since the turn of the year he has also showcased a talent for scoring sublime free-kicks.

LM: Riyad Mahrez (Leicester) Mahrez’s pace and trickery have confounded opposition defenders throughout the season, but unlike many tricky wingers, there have been no doubts as to his end product, scoring 16 goals and creating 11 in 33 games this season. His wonderful goal against Chelsea, where he beautifully controlled a diagonal ball with his instep, bamboozled César Azpilicueta and then placed his shot past Thibaut Courtois, in a 2-1 victory, has been one of his many highlights this season.

AM: Dele Alli (Spurs) Despite playing in English football’s third tier last year, Alli has not just been a peripheral figure for Spurs, but a linchpin of the side. His dynamism and work-rate have been fantastic, and from the start, he has possessed the

technical skill and creativity needed to best Premier League defenders, whether it be by providing an inchperfect cross for Spurs’ winner against Watford or scoring a Goal of the Season contender to beat Crystal Palace 2-1.

FW: Harry Kane (Spurs) Quietening those who claimed he was a one-season wonder, Harry Kane has scored 22 goals so far this season to top the scoring charts and take Tottenham to second in the Premier League, which would be their highest finish since 1963. Kane has shown over the past two seasons that he is a brilliant finisher, whose technique and ability to involve teammates in attacks are underrated.

FW: Jamie Vardy (Leicester) Only four seasons after playing nonleague football for Fleetwood Town, Jamie Vardy has broken the Premier League record for the most consecutive games scored in, and his goals have propelled Leicester right up through the table. His importance to the team cannot be underestimated, since his pace, along with that of Mahrez, allows the team to be so consistently effective on the counter-attack.

His finishing, too, has impressed, with his first strike at home to Liverpool being the most spectacular example of that.

11 consecutive top flight matches generated levels of hype around an English player not seen for years.

His and Harry Kane’s exploits for England have also resurrected some hope for the national side going into Euro 2016 and both have been nominated for the PFA’s Player of the Year award. The picture of English football’s two star strikers sat on the bench for Leicester in the Championship two years ago circulated social media soon after Kane’s Cruyff-esque turn and Vardy’s backheel into the German goal.

The Leicester fairytale also has its share of royal superstition surrounding their incredible run of form. King Richard III was reburied on March 22nd 2015 in Leicester Cathedral and on that day Leicester City lay stone dead last, 7 points off safety. Foxes fans will delight in telling you that from that day on they staged a staggering comeback, winning 7 times and gaining 22 points from the last 9 games, eventually finishing the season in 14th place.

This season’s triumphs have been mirrored by the decline of York City—Richard’s home and where many believed that he should have been buried. York are 9 points off safety with 5 games left, and look almost certain to be relegated to nonleague football, while Leicester are crowned champions of England.

However, as many a Foxes fan will surely tell you, they haven’t won it yet and would probably prefer that they weren’t damned by the ‘commentator’s curse’. Make no mistake, Leicester are showing no signs of stopping their winning streak and are clearly the

favourites, but if they do happen to choke from this point onwards, it will ruin one of the best stories that football has seen for years. To save the massive disappointment of every fan of every team in the country that isn’t Tottenham Hotspur, it would be helpful if Leicester were crowned winners when they’ve actually won the thing.

Despite this, whether Leicester win or not, hopefully the concept of a “European Super League” has been surely kicked into touch.

Real Madrid’s President Florentino Perez’s idea for a competition involving the top teams from across the continent replacing the Champions League would dismay anyone who has been captivated by this year’s Premier League. The principles of promotion and relegation are central to English sport and an ESL would deny this, meaning that the top prize available to English clubs would have only been available to a selected few in the year that the ESL would be set up. Leicester and Tottenham would almost certainly not have been considered and are now the undisputed title challengers. While during the years of domination by the “Big Four” of Chelsea, United, Arsenal and Liverpool the concept could have gained more ground, any attempt to form an ESL now including English clubs will be just seen as shameful opportunism by top clubs that have failed to win the league under the current system—United, City, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool executives were all seen leaving a summit discussing such a move just over a month ago.

Danny Willett’s Masters victory

has come at a time when the underdogs are challenging the elites, and it makes it all the more thrilling to watch. Willett’s previous best result at Augusta was coming tied for 38th last year and was never amongst the favourites prior to the competition. He wasn’t even supposed to be there with to his wife being due to give birth during the tournament but gave birth 12 days early, allowing Willett to compete for—and win—golf’s biggest prize. It’s not just his lack of pedigree at the top of the game that made it surprising, but also the fact that the event has a habit of being dominated by Americans.

Willett joins an exclusive club of two Englishmen—him and Sir Nick Faldo— to have won the Masters and is the first European to triumph since Jose Maria Olazabal in 1999.

Sport requires the possibility of an underdog being able to win, in order to keep it exciting. Modern athletes can often be reduced to market values and statistics but when it comes down to it, they are human beings and are capable of defying form, expectations and in some cases common sense in winning things that are seemingly out of reach. Leicester’s season has been a once in a generation event, but all giant killings give fans across the country the belief that makes them pay good money go to games week in week out. English football, and English sport, has needed a season like this for years, and I’m mighty glad it’s happened at last.

Subs: Jack Butland (Stoke City), Jan Vertonghen (Spurs), Eric Dier (Spurs), Mesut Özil (Arsenal), Mousa Dembélé (Spurs), Romelu Lukaku (Everton), Sergio Aguero (Manchester City).

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Pole Fitness Society Issy Clarke, & Grace Stirrat Sport Reporters During Freshers’ Week at the Society Fair many of us sign up for multiple societies, then go to one session and never return.

Everyone has a society they stick to and Pole had me completely addicted! Everyone’s first session is a bit of a struggle as many of us stare blankly at the instructor as she spins graciously round the pole, then we proceed to tangle ourselves and end up in a heap on the floor.

‘Pole makes you feel so good about yourself and helps you build your self confidence.’

Photo: Pole Fitness Society

Often us pole dancers can be subject to a lot of prejudice about the sport and many don’t understand or appreciate the skill and dedication required to take pole fitness to a high level. We are often overlooked as a sport and not taken seriously as individuals.

To those of you reading this that still think

its easy or just about looking sexy in heels then I challenge you to try just one class and you’ll never look at someone on the pole in the same way again. Everyone underestimates the core strength and flexibility Pole requires. Not only is it artistic but it’s a great way to build strength and keep fit and it really works; I came to my first class unable to manage one press up and now I’m amazed at what my body can do. As the weeks progress you can feel your body changing and building strength you never had. Like many sports, with pole, you get out of it what you put in. Progression is made by attending multiple classes and building on your own flexibility! Although it’s more appealing to girls as a society we encourage everyone and anyone who’s interested in the sport to try a class with us. Personally I love going to classes because of the range of moves we work on and the feeling of satisfaction you get when you finally hit that trick you’ve been struggling with.

Our society offers four classes a week for all levels, from beginner to advanced, and all styles of Pole from pole sport which focuses on strength to sexy pole; honouring our stripper roots with a racy high cardio routine class. We also offer regular pole jams

‘Something I personally love about pole is that it’s a powerful, sensual and liberating exercise without feeling like a hefty workout! Like a sexy gym!’ which give our members an opportunity to practice moves outside of the studio, and, like most societies, we have socials on a regular basis to give everyone a chance to get to know each other, taking our pole with us whenever we can. A lot of our members love Pole so much they buy their own personal pole for practice at home and we love seeing everyone’s progression photos posted on our page! Our classes are not only fun but you really feel the workout and they’re great for building confidence too. The combination of artistic moves—like spins and strength moves—means there’s something for everyone: dancing types and sporty types.

Because Pole requires skin for grip, the clothing required to wear during classes is smaller than most sports, but come to class and you’ll realise what a necessity it is, this

makes it a great sport for body confidence as we create a warm environment where anyone can feel comfortable in their own skin and this is something you can continue after University! As a society, we’re fortunate to have a relationship with a professional pole studio in Manchester with such friendly and experienced teachers who add to the fun and positive vibes of our classes! I’d encourage everyone to give Pole a try if you’re getting bored of the gym or just want to try something new, it’s definitely a conversation starter!

‘Pole is an excellent way to get in shape and build your confidence no matter what your size, shape, or level of fitness!

And it’s such good fun.’

Class of 2016: Manchester Tyrants Temi Sobowal Sport Reporter

15th February 2015: The University of Manchester American Football Team, also known as the Manchester Tyrants, finish their disappointing 2014/15 season with a win against the Bangor MudDogs.

They finished 6th in the league and held a 3W-5L record.

13th March 2016: Thirteen months later, the Manchester Tyrants finish their 2015/16 season again disappointed.

However, this time round the Tyrants ended their season in the BUCS Northern Conference Cup Final, losing out to LJMU Fury (28-40). The Tyrants finished with an impressive 8W0L regular season and a 1W-1L post-season. As Northern 2A Champions, they had an of-

fence that scored 88 more, and a defence that conceded 83 less, than the divisional runners up.

In one year the Manchester Tyrants have made the impressive move from being a middle-table team, to division champions.

One aspect of this improvement is accounted for by the nationwide reshuffle of the university leagues prior to the 2015/16 season. A move that saw the Tyrants drop down into Division 2: The newly-created third tier of British university football. This had the double-barrelled effect of reducing the quality of the team’s competition, at the same time as adding fuel to the new Tyrant promotion effort. They were better than the third-tier and they set out to prove that. Proof that can now be found in their undefeated regular season and a semi-final victory over the Midlands 2A

Champions, the Coventry Jets, to secure promotion to Division 1.

“Every game has been a battle, sometimes even against ourselves yet we manage to pull through. ” Nevertheless, the significance of the reshuffle pales in comparison to the team dynamic. The key factor behind the Tyrants’ 2015/16 successes. Perhaps the most talented rookie class in Tyrant history, mixed with a solid core of veterans, resulting in a squad that would break the vast majority of existing club-records.

While one could detail the club’s various background improvements, such as the purchase of

Hudl or increased team gym sessions, the team dynamic is best reflected in the responses of the team captains when asked to give a general quote on the team: “Watching this team transform the way it has over the last 4 years has been a privilege.

It’s become a vibrant program with a strong family feel. The coaches’ determination and long hours, pushing us to work harder, have been paramount to what I can confidently say is the strongest squad we’ve ever had”. – Luke Hart (Captain) “The team that wins games is the one that wants it the most.

That doesn’t mean crying if things go badly. It’s putting the extra step in, not complaining, getting stuck in, getting muddy and sweaty and bloody and hurt. Just get on that field and do everything you can to win

Photo: Manchester Tyrants

games”. – Phillip Carson (Captain) “Every game has been a battle, sometimes even against ourselves yet we manage to pull through. But we’ve just been building momentum.

I’m excited to show Division 1 what we Tyrants are made of”.

– Lawrence Sarpong (Captain) “I am extremely proud of the team, managing to have a perfect regular season. Gutted that I was unable to play in the final due to injury, and hated losing the final. But, the most important part of the season was getting promoted to Div 1.” – Ross McDermott (Captain/Vice-Chairman) All in all, despite losing some key players to placement years and graduation, the Tyrants expect to hit the ground running in Division 1. However, before an off-season of monstrous feasting followed by even more monstrous gym sessions, the Tyrants are gearing up for the 2016 Christie Championships against the Universities of Leeds and Liverpool; the second oldest interuniversity sports competition behind the Oxford-Cambridge rivalry. If you truly want to grasp the essence of Tyrant Football, get yourself down to Burnage Rugby Football Club on Sunday 17th April for 2PM as the Tyrants look for another clean sweep.

This article will conclude with a message from Samuel Purkiss, the departing Tyrant Chairman: “Four years ago, when I joined the Tyrants the team was in its infancy and American Football wasn’t even a BUCS sport.

We trained in local parks, with only a handful of players but somehow we still made it to the national playoff quarter finals.

“The next season was extremely difficult and it was towards the end of this season that I took over as the Tyrant chairman.

With the help of the committee and our head coach, Pete Birds, we set out a very ambitious 3-year plan that challenged us to go from a 0-7 season in the bottom tier of British football

to promotion to Division One. “We started this season with a very successful recruitment drive that saw us increase our coaching staff to 15 and our roster to around 70 active players.

The hard work and planning put in by everybody (especially the committee and coaching staff) was rewarded with an undefeated 8-0 record in the regular season. This led us to a national semi-final against Coventry Jets where a 30-17 victory sealed our promotion to Division One. “The BUCS national final saw us take on an old rival, LJM, who were separated from us in the last league restructure.

Whilst this game sadly resulted in our only defeat of the season we finished with a silver medal and promotion a full year earlier than planned. This represents an incredible transformation and is an achievement we are all extremely proud of.

“With many of our senior players graduating this summer, next year presents a whole new set of challenges. Despite this, the very strong foundations we have put in place will hopefully allow us to achieve the targets of our next 3-year plan, which will ultimately see us promoted to the Premiership.

“My time with the Tyrants has been a real labour of love and I honestly don’t think I could be more proud of this team.

It’s been quite a journey and I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who I have met along the way. It’s been an honour and a privilege to serve this team and I can’t believe my time with it is over.

“Without the help we have received from the Coaching staff, the Athletics Union, the Manchester Titans and countless others, none of this would have been possible, so from everyone at the Tyrants: Thank you!

“I wish this team nothing but the best of luck in the future and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.”

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Photos: Ben Sutherland, Danny Molyneux, John Martinez Pavliga, Ronnie MacDonald, Sam Fahmi, x1klima, MatthewWilkinson @Flickr

Rashford and Fellaini help United to Wembley Joe Murphy Sport Reporters

A turbulent week ends on a high for United, to ease pressure on LVG The Quarter Final victory over West Ham United may be the saving grace Louis Van Gaal needed to keep his job as manager of Manchester. On Sunday three goals in a disastrous six minutes left fans furious at LVG for his bizarre tactics. Starting Michael Carrick, who is on a bad run of form and far past his best, as well as replacing Marcus Rashford with Ashley Young, created unrest among much of the fan base. When the starting line ups came through for the FA cup game at Upton Park/The Boleyn Ground, fans were pessimistic to say the least. The sheer sight of Fellaini’s name anywhere near the starting XI raised enough

eyebrows, as well as Carrick ahead of Morgan Schneiderlin and fans feared the worse against a brilliant West Ham side featuring stars on fine form at the moment such as Payet, Antonio and weekend hat-trick hero Andy Carroll. However, United were impressive, got a deserved win booking their place at Wembley and suddenly LVG looks like a genius.

Rashford and Fosu-Mensah were again superb, David De Gea was simply brilliant and Fellaini had a hugely influential role in keeping Noble and Payet quiet in midfield. Furthermore, he scored the eventual winner in a game that could have got away from United, particularly in the last ten to fifteen minutes. So it seems that LVG may have bought himself some time, and although qualifying for the Champions League by finishing 4th in the league is a clear priority, this piece of silverware, potentially the first since Fergie retired, may be enough to save his job for another year.

Double Dutch Delight Another Dutchman who had a topsy-turvy week was Daley Blind. Despite having Lukaku in his pocket for the home win against Everton and starting well against Spurs at the weekend, he was torn apart by Dele Alli in the last quarter of the match.

But again, Mr Versatile showed his worth by keeping Andy Carroll relatively quiet and out of the game. This is not easy, with Carroll famed for being one of the best aerial strikers around and one of the most unmarkable strikers in the league. I think he deserves a special mention, as does Timothy Fosu Mensah. Yet another Dutchman, this young lad has come through the ranks and made an immediate impression in the first team when given the chance this week. Against Spurs, he was arguably the best player for United until he was taken off injured, and impressed yet again against West Ham, showing signs of pace, strength, composure and adventure

Photos below: Wikimedia Commons

The Junction that is the Old Trafford Manager Job Magnus Henderson Sport Reporters Manchester United have pulled up at a crossroads. Like any normal crossroads, there are three options: left, Ryan Giggs; right, Jose Mourinho and straight on, continuing Louis Van Gaal’s reign.

In the past four months, as results have dropped off in the league and in Europe, separate rumours have confirmed all three individuals as conclusive managers of United next season.

With the fans and generally bemused public all waiting for the soap opera to finalise, I have decided to investigate the pros and cons of each suitor.

Giggs pros There isn’t a man who embodies Manchester United more than Ryan Giggs.

Having played for the club for 23 years, racking up 963 appearances (a club record), winning 13 league titles, 4 FA cups and 2 Champions League trophies amongst other honours, the Welshman is the most decorated player in British football history and a loyal servant. For this, Giggs has forever won the hearts of United fans all over the world. When Moyes failed in his one and only season at the club, the Welsh wizard took over

as interim manager of the club for four matches. In those games, Giggs demonstrated that he wanted to project the ‘United way’ onto the players, playing free-flowing attacking football, and when defeated by Sunderland, Giggs relied on youth, giving James Wilson and Tom Lawrence debuts, in which the former scored a brace and secured a 3-1 home win against Hull. This, in some fans’ views, is enough to merit Giggs at least the opportunity to prove himself as a permanent manager.

If Guardiola can do it at Barca, why not Giggs?

Giggs cons Quite simply, zero real experience. Whilst Giggs was an incredible player for United, that does not necessarily mean he will make an incredible manager. For example: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer failed to make it with Cardiff, Bruce hasn’t got the nous to manage a top club, Roy Keane couldn’t do it at Sunderland or Ipswich and, most recently, Gary Neville couldn’t live up to his own punditry as manager of Valencia. While Guardiola is an example of a legend becoming a successful manager at the same club, he is an exception, not the norm. The same cannot be expected of Giggs and if he was to fail, his golden reputation would be tarnished. Is that a risk the Welshman is willing to take?

Another serious blot on Giggs’ career

is his association with Moyes and Van Gaal. As Assistant manager under both reigns, if Van Gaal is sacked like Moyes was, for failing to reach the Champions League, then surely Giggs should get the boot too? While the team is not his sole responsibility, Giggs has failed to influence both managers into a winning mentality and had clearly been unsuccessful in projecting a positive attitude on the players. Two of his long-term potential successors on the left wing, Memphis Depay and Adnan Januzaj, have reportedly poor attitudes when it comes to training.

It is Giggs’ responsibility to be a role model and turn that attitude around which he has so far failed to do.

Mourinho pros Mourinho stormed onto the European managerial scene in 2002/03 winning a treble (involving the Europa League) for Porto, before defying the odds and completing the ‘real deal’ treble (involving the Champions League) in the following season. His successful start never really ended; Mourinho went on to manage Chelsea (twice), Inter Milan and Real Madrid, winning six league titles, six domestic cups and another Champions league trophy all in the space of 12 years.

Since Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement,

going forward.

Another final point to take from the quarter final was the return of Wayne Rooney. Although he came on for only the last few moments against West Ham, it is good to see him back on the pitch from both a united fans point of view, as well as an England supporter with the European Championships around six weeks away.

United can now look forward to three consecutive home games of which all they must win against Aston Villa, Crystal Palace, and champions in waiting Leicester. The gap to 4th placed Manchester City is 4 points so United will have to hope other teams do them favours. Additionally, the champions league semi-finals that City face could prove a welcome distraction for the Red Devils.

Mourinho has stood head and shoulders above the other managerial heavyweights in terms of success. Manchester United seem to have forgotten the taste of success; the last title came to Old Trafford in 2013 and the hunger is dwindling too. If there was ever a man to guarantee trophies, Jose would be that man.

There are also clues regarding Mourinho’s love affair with United, most tellingly after his Los Blancos side defeated the 10-men Red Devils at Old Trafford, sending them out of the Champions League, and claiming that, “the best team lost”. An extremely unusual compliment given a man of his arrogance.

Ferguson retired later that season and Mourinho reportedly broke down in tears when he heard that Moyes was to be the successor. The stage has been reset for the union he supposedly desires.

Mourinho cons As John Steinbeck stated in Of Mice and Men, “success comes with a price to pay”. The more keenly eyed Wikipedia user would notice that Mourinho has not lasted more than three seasons at a single club. The high levels of performance from his players come with high levels of intensity from Mourinho; high intensity for a prolonged amount of time causes tension which causes fracture. The Portuguese man has either moved from one club to another to fulfil ambition (e.g. Porto to Chelsea, Inter to Real) or because he has fractured the club with his intensity (e.g. Chelsea 2007, Real 2013, Chelsea 2015).

While Mourinho is without doubt a serial winner, is the success justified by the probability that he will leave the club in disarray? What Manchester United need is stability, not a man to rock the boat any further.

Mourinho also has a reputation for not giving youth a chance; a philosophy which is deeply ingrained into United’s history. At Chelsea this season, he failed to spot the talents of youngsters such as Kennedy, Bertrand Traore and Ruben Loftus-Cheek, all of whom have been rotated effectively into the first team by the current Chelsea coach, Guus Hiddink. The influx of Old Trafford academy products this season has been notable, especially the likes of Rashford, Fosu-Mensah and Borthwick-Jackson.

There is a fear surrounding the fan base

that Mourinho, if given the choice between buying superstars and integrating youth, would settle for the former.

Van Gaal pros As a decorated manager, there are few that can compete with Van Gaal’s illustrious career. Successful at Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Ajax and most recently the Netherlands, the Dutchman has experience flowing out of every orifice. A Champions League trophy and seven league titles evidences success, no matter which club he has been at. Van Gaal is also renowned for leaving the foundations for future victory.

At Barcelona, he famously had a backroom staff of Mourinho, Koeman and Guardiola, three current prosperous managers who learnt their trade from the Dutchman. It is no coincidence that the three most successful footballing institutions in their respective countries, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Ajax, were once managed by Van Gaal. His reputation for blending experienced quality with talented youth led to a lasting dynasty in each club and the same can be seen at United; his integration of Martial, Rashford and Borthwick-Jackson into the team with Schweinsteiger, Carrick and Rooney provides a balance of raw pace with experienced heads, hopefully allowing the United youngsters to become the latest academy “class of 2016”.

Van Gaal cons The results! While the experienced Dutchman succeeded in retaining Champions League football in his debut season, he has fundamentally failed in mounting a title challenge (his own aim for his second season). Square pegs in round holes (the squarest of pegs in the roundest of holes being Ashley Young as a striker against Spurs), the uninspiring football, Rooney’s “special privileges”, the unnecessarily small squad and the scattergun transfer strategy.

In a football world where clubs don’t have time to wait around for success, the Dutchman’s position is becoming increasingly untenable, especially if he fails to reach Champions League football. He has been given the time and the financial backing to create his own prosperous United squad and he has failed by the standards he set himself.

18th APRIL 2016/ ISSUE 20 FREE

Photo: Ken Munso u @Flickr

/TheMancunionSport

_ @Mancunion_Sport

Christie Championships come to town!

Photo: Tsutomu Takasu @Flickr

Toby Webb Sport Reporters The Grand National is the marquee event on the horse racing calendar.

Every year, the 3 day festival sells out its 70,000 daily capacity, while an estimated 600 million people worldwide watched the 2016 installment of the race on television. This year’s was the 169th running of the race. Its continuation over such a length of time is testament to its popularity, both for spectator and participant, the race being regularly touted as ‘the ultimate test of horse and rider’.

However, with the growing prominence of animal rights activism across the world, horse racing has faced huge criticism for the quantity of deaths and injuries suffered by horses. Last year, 124 horses died, or were put down, as a result of horse racing, as stated by the website Race Horse Death Watch; similarly, since the website began (13th March 2007), 1380 horses have died.

The context must be given: The National reports that, in 2013, 90,000 horses took part in racing, with 0.2% of those dying.

These statistics regarding death are truly shocking, and add much fuel to the cause of such groups as Animal Aid, who campaign for the abolition of horse racing. The Grand National, as the most

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prestigious race of the year, is used by Animal Aid to hammer home the barbarism of horse racing, describing the event as a “cruel, unreformable travesty of true sporting values.” Across the festival, 5 horses died, and only 16 horses out of 39 finished the Grand National race.

The Grand National race is particularly testing, both for its length and the size of the fences—2 laps of a 15 fence circuit, measuring 6.9km. Becher’s Brook, The Chair and the Canal Turn are world famous for their intimidating size. The Aintree racecourse has made several modifications to the fences in recent years in an attempt to improve safety. However, this has done little to calm the debate over racing, in fact in reducing the difficulty of the Aintree course in a bid to improve safety, the racecourse management have been criticised by the traditionalists; they claim the National is losing its unique quality in the reduction of its difficulty.

The Grand National is an event etched into the fabric of British sporting culture, comparable to the likes of the FA Cup Final and Wimbledon. However, it will stand to look more and more barbaric as our realisation of human ignorance towards animal welfare grows.

The killing of animals for consumption and products has a clearer argument: we

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gain a direct benefit from the killing. However, the killing of animals as a bi-product of sport is morally dubious. Spectators gain enjoyment, perhaps money if they bet well, and jockeys and trainers gain prestige and money if their horse is successful. However, this end doesn’t justify the means. Horse racing, like all sports, is a superfluous activity. Deaths from a superfluous activity are more dubious than deaths from an industry that can be considered, at least partly, necessary for survival.

The problem for animal activists is that, unlike say fox hunting, which was successfully banned in 2004, horse racing is a huge money-making industry. The Grand National is particularly lucrative; for many people, it is the only racing bet, or maybe even the only bet, they make in a year. It is estimated that betting companies can make as much as £150million from the race. Its popularity for betting is reflected in the viewing figures. Channel 4 estimates that 10 million people in Britain watched this year’s Grand National.

Any economist will tell you that if there is enough demand for something, there will be supply. Ultimately, the weight of popularity and tradition will overshadow the moral argument against horse racing for the foreseeable future.

On Wednesday 20th April, the Universities of Leeds and Liverpool will arrive in Manchester to commence battle for the annual Christie Championships.

Now into its 130th year as a competition between Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester, over 1800 students will be competing in 35 different sports.

The championship was held in Liverpool last year, with Manchester bringing the trophy home and they will be seeking to retain the famous shield this year.

Aldi are sponsors of the event and will be available on the day to talk to those interested in discussing a career with Aldi. They will also running a competition for students to get involved in, with prizes up for grabs.

For those who want to support the teams, these are the fixtures that will take place across the two days:

Sports Fields: Football (Womens) (1-5pm) Rugby (Womens) (1-5pm) Ultimate Frisbee (2-5pm)

Sunday 17th April: External venues: American Football, Futsal, Cricket and Jiu Jitsu.

Wednesday 20th April: The Armitage Centre, Fallowfield: Badminton (12-5pm) Football (Mens) (1-5pm) Hockey (12-6pm) Netball (12-6pm) Rugby League (1-5pm) Table Tennis (1-5pm) Sugden Centre: Basketball (12-6pm) Volleyball (12-6pm) Trampoline (126pm)

Canoe Polo, Climbing, Cross Country, Cue sports, Cycling, Fencing, Golf, Equestrian, Lacrosse, Polo, Sailing, Snowsports, Squash, Swimming, and Water Polo.

The sporting action will be followed by a presentation ceremony at Club Academy in the University of Manchester Students’ Union.

For Manchester students, this will be followed by the official AU Social Christie Championships afterparty at the SU.

Whythenshawe

Photo: Armitage Centre

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