THIS ISSUE NEW THINGS ARE BLOOMING March is indicative of a change in seasons, so take time to assess where you are, but more importantly, project where it is that you are going. What things are you expecting to bloom? With promises of busy schedules that range from proms and graduations, to Spring Breaks, March Madness, Easter, and wedded bliss, the season that is approaching is definitely a time for celebration. With all of this in mind, be sure to keep your focus on your goals, and not be pulled in multiple directions. IN THIS ISSUE OF LOVE, MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIP: The Review, be inspired to refine your focus on your goals, or endeavor to launch a new project. Here’s a list of features to be highlighted for this month and set the expectation of things to come.
Love, Marriage & Partnership - The Review is a monthly publication sponsored by M & M R Marketing, LLC that focuses on married couples that are in partnership with each other through service and/or business to their communities and abroad. The goal of the Love, Marriage & Partnership – the Review is to inspire readers to look at the essence of partnership in marriage as shared by exemplary couples, ultimately moving readers to actively define, develop, and devote to their purpose as a couple.
COUPLES IN PARTNERSHIP: This feature is the heart of the publication, so become acquainted with phenomenal couples from all over that are building businesses and serving their communities through a loving partnership.
MARCH
2016
PROMMING IT: What Parents do on Prom Night– Who says that Prom Night has to be fun for just the teenagers? Get your creative juices pumping, and your selfie cam ready with these Prom Night for Parents Ideas. DATE NIGHT IDEAS: Do more than flirt with the idea of Date Nights, make a commitment. These sweet notions will spark dedication for that much desired QT whether you’re single, just having fun, or in a committed relationship. 14 PRINCIPLES FOR HUSBANDS & WIVES: Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, and boys may just want to have fun, but what is needed of a man and woman within a marriage are foundational principles that can govern a harmonious marriage. GOURMET GIFTS: With so much to celebrate, gift giving can become so redundant, causing one to surrender to gift cards and OTC endowments. Add a little personality with these decedent delights.
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WHAT’S TO COME •
HOUSE HUNTING & PROPERTY TIPS
•
CELEBRATION OF ENGAGEMENTS, WEDDINGS & ANNIVERSARIES
•
EATERIES & SCENERIES
•
OUTDOOR ADVENTURES AND DELICATE INTERIORS
• •
ARTS & CULTURE WHAT’S IN YOUR KITCHEN
•
SO MUCH MORE…
P
A
S
T
O
DANIEL
& CHARRON
R
&
L
A
D
Y
KELLY
are the under-shepherds and founders of multi-cultural Harvest Center Church in Lafayette, Louisiana. He is her boyfriend, baby-daddy, priest, and husband, of 10 years. She is his girlfriend, baby-momma, cheerleader/wife, and the only mother of his 3 beautiful children. Together they kingdom parent Christian (12), Daniel Jr. (6), and Dylan (2). They are vocational pastor’s, meaning they work outside of full-time pastoralship. They are the proud owners of a thriving company called Fix-a-chip Auto Glass Repair, making over 6 figures in last fiscal year. Their goal is to uplift the all people by way of elevating the deity of Christ and the self-efficacy of the HIS people through the vehicle of LOVE. Balance and prayer is key to all that they do, because while we pray to stay rooted and grounded in love we stay in our kingdom positions as wife/woman and husband/man, with mindfulness that they only can give/empty themselves of what they have been filled with by God; in confidence that, that is enough.
WHO ARE YOU AS A COUPLE? We are a transparent couple. We live our lives not so people can see us but Christ through us. Although far from perfect, it is our humanity that glorifies the deity of God. With nothing to hide, no hidden agenda we live to give Jesus. We are fun, silly, jolly, compassionate, loving, peaceful, confidant, honest people and as we live this; we just want to give it to others. WHAT THINGS DO YOU ADMIRE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE? Mr Kelly: I admire how she mother’s my kids. I feel a peace and confidence that they are being guided, loved, nurtured, and trained into mighty men and woman of God. I love the way she helps to keep me balanced. She has a steady hand in my growth in journey in being the best Pastor, Son, Father, Friend, Husband that I can be. She doesn’t let me get so engulfed in one area that I forsake the others. She keeps all my eggs in one basket. Lastly, I love her open mindedness. She has an enthusiasm and hope that allows me to believe I can do anything, and even if it fails she knows we will be ok. She is still and steady in hope. She says, “OK Bae, but it’s gone be alright, we’re still good”. Mrs Kelly: I admire Daniel’s ability to love and care so much. I also really admire his fearlessness. He is like a big bear, he is soft and cuddly and cute (smiles), but if you try to attack his kingdom territory he is wise and ferocious. He is man that can walk into the boardroom and become everyone’s friend in 2.5 seconds, leave from there and shake hands with drug dealers, murders, and child molesters. His ability to love coupled with fearlessness is matchless.
The REVIEW HOW DO YOU PREPARE YOURSELF TO FUNCTION AS YOUR BEST SELF IN YOUR ROLE AS A SPOUSE? We prepare in prayer. Before all else fails; pray. Prayer is our life line in our marriage ministry. We know it sounds super spiritual, but we had no model in front of us to exemplify, we read the books but it was/is prayer allows us to be able humble ourselves long enough to see each other the way that God see us. We are HIS babies. God talks to us by way of his word through prayer on how to function. Like many couples there were times where we have felt like we were not going to make it and God was silent and didn’t care. In those times is when through prayer the Holy Spirit gave us peace to continue to walk in the dark (the feet of peace). After many years through prayer, God assigned Pastor Roderick Richardson and First Lady Tyronda Richardson in our lives to hold us accountable and be a safe house of Godly counsel. Prayer has given us strength, peace, patience, and hope to never ever give up. Prayer gives us the meaning of forever. HOW DO YOU UTILIZE YOUR DIFFERENCES INDIVIDUALLY AS ASSETS TO YOU AS A COUPLE? Daniel is a dreamer. I am a doer. When Daniel wants to do anything, he tells me and I make it happen (within reason). It works with vacation, family, church, and work. Daniel is compassionate and I’m concise. If you want a listening ear only, then talk to Daniel, if you want a course of action then go to Charron. Our kids know that Daddy will hug them and play with them when they are feeling down and mommy will hug them then instruct them so that it won’t happen again. It works. WHAT DOES PARTNERSHIP IN A MARRIAGE MEAN TO YOU? Partnership in a marriage (to us) is the understanding of two perspectives coming together to serve one vision; in mutual love, respect, honor, and submission. It is to esteem one another above ourselves for peace sake and the greater success of the goal before us.
AS PARTNERS IN MARRIAGE WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL? WHY? WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE TO OBTAIN IT? Our ultimate goal is to seek, save, and equip people in Christ. Individually and collectively we have always known that our calling is to help people. We need to help people. Charron is the encourager and I am the equipper. Without operating in purpose we would be lost. We also know that the love of Christ is the answer to all things. This is why we are willing to sacrifice ourselves (wants and sometimes needs) in order to help others. Individually, coupled, and as a family, we are servants first, foremost, and only; and we lead in service. WHO IS THE MR.& MRS. THAT MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TO SEE? We are silly and sexy. We love to try to do the latest dances at home (nae nae, hit the Quan, etc.) and Daniel is an undercover car rapper and I’m his background singer and car dancer. We also like to keep it spicy in the bedroom, lots of energy, sensual, passionate, and kinky (no toys). Daniel being from Louisiana, he likes everything hot. WHAT IS A QUOTE OR SCRIPTURE THAT YOU BOTH US AS YOU FUNCTION IN PARTNERSHIP. “Help me, Help you.” When we began to mirror the scriptures in our individual and partnership roles, we quickly understood that we cannot be successful if we don’t help ourselves to help the other. The bible says that the man is the covering (priest/protector/provider) of a woman; and a woman is the helper (comfort/ confirm/affirm) to the man. The bible also says, while the man holds the vision the woman holds the favor. So to function in our roles is to help ourselves, help the other. So, if Daniel picks up his shoes and bathes the baby, then Charron won’t be so exhausted in the bedroom. She didn’t have to work 8 hours, then clean house, and take care of all 3 kids. She has more time and energy to focus on Daniel’s sexy coco chocolate.
WWW.THEHARVESTCENTERCHURCH.COM
The Harvest vest Cente Center Church
@dkwizdom | @ iiamcharron 9 | LOVE MARRAIGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
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PRINCIPLES 7 for LOVING Your WIFE
Love her by... LISTENING TO HER.
CLEANSING HER.
Listening to your wife allows you to really understand her, and see her inner-most thoughts. You also see her needs. Being able to listen is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your wife. When you listen, understand that she is not asking for your advice, she is simply looking for you to be open to her feelings and thoughts. Listening allows you to see what she is saying, how she is saying it, and most importantly, why she is saying it. By listening, you can discern whether your wife is seeking your advice or just in need of you helping her to find her own answer.
Cleansing your wife takes loving her mind, body and soul to a new level. As a husband we are taught to cleanse our wife by washing her with the word of God. As we listen and pay attention to her, please be aware that from day to day so much negativity, disappointments and past hurts fill her mind. Sometimes it’s visible and sometimes suppressed. To cleanse her we must pray with and for her daily, speak positive things into her life daily, speak the word of God with her daily and patently help her to focus on the positive only each and every day. As you cater to her as the weaker vessel the stronger she will be.
PAYING ATTENTION TO HER.
BEING A GENTLEMAN (CHIVALRY) WITH HER.
The more you listen to your wife, the better you will get at paying attention to her. Paying attention allows you to learn major and minor details about your wife, such as knowing her favorite things, her love language, when to do things for her, and how to read her moods. When you pay attention to your wife, you can tell when she wants to do something or have something, but denies it to accommodate you or a situation. Perhaps the greatest thing is being able to recognize who God is in your wife, the strengths and gifts that He’s placed in her. Paying attention allows you to love her the way she deserves to be loved.
Being a gentleman shows your wife that you’re a chivalrous, courteous and an honorable man. Doing this consistently will give your wife the assurance that you love and honor her worth. Your wife deserves to have her doors opened, her chair pulled out, having her hand held in public and private, foot rubs and fixing her plate, just to name a few. Being a gentleman is one of the greatest ways to honor your wife, not only for what she does but ultimately for who she is to you. As husbands let’s show our wives and the world that chivalry is alive and well.
APPRECIATING HER.
SETTING GOALS THAT STRETCH HER.
As a husband it should be a privilege to appreciate your wife every chance you get. Appreciation shows her that all she does has value. Our wives do so much daily to make sure all our needs are met as well as running a household. Appreciate your wife by saying thank you every chance you get. Learn how to edify her at all times letting the world know that she is your gift from the Lord. Appreciate her time, her loving, her respect, her patients, her thoughts and her value to your life. This is an action that will always keep a smile on her face.
Being the visionary of the home it is our job to set the bar high with everything that we do, including setting goals. The goals should include you and your wife at all times. Because we as husbands desire to see all God has instore for our wives, it is good to set all goals bigger than life. High goals are put into place so that we have to be stretched and grow to reach them. As husbands stretching our wives shows her that we believe in her. Believing in our wives is one of the highest forms of love and appreciation.
PLACING HER AS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD. Yes, place her before parents, children, the household responsibilities, work-related duties, and all the other things that attempt to press their way in front of your wife. Establishing and maintaining this priority is one way of fostering peace, better communication, and productivity within your home and relationship. 13 | LOVE MARRAIGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
Respect him by...
LOVING GOD AND BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
This must be priority over all other things. It is not possible to know God and not love Him, and it is impossible to love someone else and not love God. Establishing a loving relationship with God will properly equip you with the strength and wisdom to truly love your husband with an unconditional love- an Agape love. Furthermore, the love that you have for God allows you to accept His commands, and grow in understanding of His word. As your relationship with God grows, so will it with your husband as God shows you how to submit to your husband as unto Christ.
LOVING YOURSELF AND HAVING AN INCREASING DESIRE TO BETTER YOURSELF. The better woman that you become, his inspiration to be better is also increased. He sees you as a suitable helper, a true partner – one who completes him as opposed to competes with him. By focusing on positive change within yourself, your husband will view you as someone to be honored, instead of feeling like you’re trying to change him. Also, it may be necessary to tell him that you are working to make yourself better, so that you can be a better help to him.
BELIEVING IN AND BUILDING UP THE MAN THAT HE IS TO BE. It is vital that you always keep a positive image of who your husband is to be. This takes work on your part, but it’s worth it in the end. There will be moments where it’s easy to see your husband’s weaknesses or areas you feel he needs to grow in, but trust in God to mold and change him. Continue to build him up, encourage him, speak to and treat him like the man that he is to become. Also, be careful not to compare him to anyone else. Ultimately, you want him to be his best self, who God designed him to be – which is more than what you may desire him to be within a moment.
LETTING YOUR THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS ALWAYS BE POSITIVE OF HIM. This requires self-discipline on many levels. It has often been said that when we do things, we do them three times: in our mind, in our words, and in our actions. Often, there is much emphasis on guarding what we say or do, because those are external things that others can see. However, our thoughts are internal which only God can see. Don’t allow negative thoughts to build up against what you know is true about your husband – that he is your good and perfect gift from the Lord, and that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. Through prayer, fasting, meditation, and God’s word, tear down the strongholds that have built themselves up in regard to your husband so that your words and actions may always be positive both publicly and privately.
PRAYING FOR HIM. Be attentive to your husband’s needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses in a way that you can prayerfully ask God to address. When you do so, you allow God to use all of His resources to touch the areas of your husband that you’re praying for. Have peace in knowing that you have no power to change anything about your husband, but God gives you the power and authority to pray for him and help him through God’s strength.
PLACING HIM AS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD. Yes, place him before the children, the household chores, work-related duties, and all the other things that attempt to press their way in front of your husband. Establishing and maintaining this priority is one way of fostering peace, better communication, and productivity within your home and relationship.
HONORING HIM AS THE PRIEST, PROVIDER, AND PROTECTOR OF YOUR HOME. To do so requires trust and faith in God at an optimum level. Perhaps this is the area where submission is exercised the most, because it requires a great deal of sacrifice. As the priest of the home, your husband must be respected as the mediator between God and the family. Respect your husband as the one who provides the vision and goals for your family – not just a provider of resources. Understand that God will provide your husband with the vision. Your work is found in his vision. This is not to disregard your goals and dreams. When you sacrifice your personal ambitions, you’ll understand that God has made provisions for your gifts to be used and desires fulfilled in the work that He has given your husband. As the protector of your home, your husband’s fortification addresses anything that may infringe upon the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of your family. If you feel or see that these components are not present in your husband, pray that God develops these things in him. 14 | LOVE MARRAIGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
PRINCIPLES 7 for RESPECTING Your HUSBAND
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“His Point, Her View” is a Christian couple’s literary collaboration. Read through personal, spiritual, and even controversial posts that will motivate, challenge, and unite couples and singles alike. Throughout this journey this Husband and Wife will discuss everything from gender roles and intimacy to faith and marriage adaptation. Finding your purpose- mate is just the beginning, we intend to chronicle that and much, MUCH more! SUBSCRIBE TODAY at:
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DATE NIGHT IDEAS by: Mr & MRS ROACH
Dismiss every misconception that you have about Date Nights, be open-minded, and expect to have fun! Who says that Date Nights have to be anything other than what you want them to be? No one- it’s up to you how creative you want your predetermined moment of eminence to be! It is also important to note that Date Night is for anyone: dating, married, engaged, and yes, SINGLE.
DON’TS
DO’S
IDEAS of the MONTH • • • • • •
• •
Agree to set this time aside together. Determine frequency and be consis tent (once a month or every week). Decide who gets to choose the date (deciding together is best). Anticipate it. Be THERE while you’re on the date. Have FUN.
Avoid making independent plans and expect the other to be as excited as you are. Steer clear of allowing your Date Night to take the back seat of things that appear to be more pressing.
FACE A FEAR – Make a decision to move past a phobia that has previously gotten in the way of your progress in some way. Whether going to a gun range, speaking publicly at a poetry club, or going to a petting zoo, use the comfort of your companion help you through a difficult feat. PAINTING CLASS – Paint studios have become rather popular recently. Create a masterpiece that will help you remember your evening. 3 HOUR RADIUS – Choose a location that is within a three hour driving distance. Once there, be absolutely spontaneous, by putting yourself at the mercy of the local’s wisdom. Ask locals about popular places to dine and have fun that are specific to that area. CONCERT DUO – Pick a deserving couple that you admire, or that admires you and hit a great concert! The conversations and engagement will be nonstop, and allow everyone the chance to see each other in a different light.
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PROMMING IT So you’ve invested a lot of time and money into making sure your beloved teen is picture ready for their prom night. You’ve squared away everything from hair and attire to transportation, curfew, and expectations. So what are you going to do once you’ve taken all the pictures and sent them off for the evening? Follow this simple guide to assist you in organizing a night that will allow you to have as much fun as your young one!
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LET’S GET STARTED -
If you have remaining little ones, make arrangements with a sitter ahead of time. (Another option could be to make this a special night just for them.)
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Download your favorite songs from your high school era. As you set the tone for the night, this will stir up your fond memories, and give you good reason to revive old dance moves.
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Try to locate old prom or high school pictures. You could use a good laugh. Plus, it just might remind you of what a strong resemblance your teen is to you in how they look and act!
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Plan an event. What’s going to fit your fancy: dinner, movie, bowling, laser tag, or games at home with friends? Choose something that is going to remind you of something you did when you were in high school.
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Pick out an outfit. Whether you sport new threads or pull something from your closet, picking an outfit helps you to actually picture yourself, and look forward to your night.
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Have your camera ready! Post to social media, send to friends, or just save for your personal memories. Oh, please be sure to share with your teen, as to ensure them that you love them, but you can have just as much fun as they can on prom night!
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Who doesn’t love a good hashtag? Feel free to use any of these, or create your own: #ICanDoPromToo2016 #PrommingIt #PromIt #GrownFolksProm #LMPprom
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Have fun! Enjoy the evening for what it is, celebrate peacefully knowing that your teen is safe and enjoying his/her evening, and be prepared to greet them with a weary smile when they arrive home. It’s quite certain that your body and responsibilities will be telling you that it’s time to retire for the evening.
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Gourmet Gifts that are Fun for Any Age
If you’re looking for fun gifts to make, but have it look as if you made a visit to an exclusive chocolate boutique, opt for these gourmet gifts that even the little ones can help to make. Pair them with homemade cards and other gifts for something truly unique. THE BASICS: 4-6 Granny Smith Apples (size will vary) 1-2 11oz bags of caramel bits Wooden apple or popsicle sticks Cookie sheet Wax paper Cooking spray PREPARATION: Line cookie sheet with wax paper and lightly mist with cooking spray. Throughly clean apples, being sure to remove excess wax from the skin, and dry completely. Remove the stem, place upside-down onto cookie sheet, and insert sticks being sure not to poke through to the other end. Set aside. Melt caramel according to package instructions. Dip all apples and set aside to allow caramel to cool. Mix all of your dry ingredients in a medium to large bowl. Melt your chocolate of choice according to package instructions. Dip apple into chocolate, and allow excess to drip off. Dip into the dry mix of your choice, being sure to coat the entire apple. Place on cookie sheet to set. QUICK TIPS: When dipping apples in caramel, use a knife or spatula to remove excess caramel from the bottom of the apple. If you chop whole nuts, use a strainer to remove excess shavings.
Images inspired by a previous venture.
Berry Nutty Moment
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white chocolate melting wafers Chopped Walnuts Dried Cranberries
Cookies & Cream
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white chocolate melting wafers chocolate sandwich cookies (remove cream filling)
Pina Colada
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white chocolate melting wafers cocoanut (toasted) chopped walnuts dried pineapples
Nutty Moment
- milk chocolate melting wafer - chopped pecans
Several months have passed since a friend of ours posed a question to a group. “Why have men stopped expressing acts of chivalry?” Men and women of a variety of demographics weighed in on the question. Responses ranged from the behavior not being taught at an early age, to women no longer setting the standard for it. Well, here’s what we think… Chivalry is alive and well for those that value it, have a desire to use it, and the confidence to receive it with grace. We’d like you to consider the notion that the nature of chivalry must come into agreement with a chivalrous temperament. Meaning that every man has the ability to express it, but he must be willing to genuinely act on it, and do just that- act. Sure it can be taught through proper modeling by a male figure that he respects to some degree, but over time, a man will cultivate his own definition of it. Chivalry is an authentic desire to show honor to a woman, whether she has fully come to understand her worth or not. It speaks of a man’s character, his confidence in himself, and the value that he wants to add to the woman in his presence. It’s a way to show love like assisting a stranger at the store by helping her lift a heavy item, or catering to and building up his beloved wife. The frequency of the behavior and the extent to which it is shown depends solely on the man’s decision and discipline to do so. A caution to men is to not attach a reason to why you express chivalry other than to show honor. Remember, it’s an expression of love, which is a decision to show unconditional care with no regard to the behavior that is reciprocated. What we mean is that you can’t show acts of chivalry just because she is doing something favorable for you- it’s an indication of YOUR character, not hers. This is difficult, because we are human, and naturally honor the principle of reciprocity. We want, and to some large degree need, the behaviors in our relationships to be communal, especially if we value healthy, productive relationships. For this reason, we turn our attention to ladies. It is imperative that women know what they want in a relationship, why they want it, and sincerely state what they are willing to sacrifice to have it. If women do this, they set standards not just for the men that they encounter, but most importantly for themselves. Now, we’d like to place a caveat here, and say that your standards have to be beyond superficial things, and unrealistic expectations. Dig deep and say that you truly want someone who will maximize your strengths while helping you grow beyond your weaknesses and insecurities. Chivalry, as explained earlier, is an expression of love, a way that a gentleman shows you honor. A lady must be careful not to allow the intricacies of life experiences to inhibit their ability to really accept and embrace the favorable behavior shown to her. Society has lead women to believe two contradicting thoughts simultaneously: 1) You need a man to provide emotional, physical, financial, mental, sexual, and spiritual security. 2) You are self-sufficient and strong. The truth- those thoughts don’t have to contradict each other. A man wants a resilient, independent woman who can respect him wanting to provide those securities for her, and can welcome them with grace. For an extended discussion on Chivalry, be sure to read our latest manuscript Chivalry: 25 Lessons on Appreciating a Gentleman.
“Say what you want, old-fashion is always in style for those who know how to wear it well.”
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