MannaEXPRESS March 2012 by MannaEXPRESS

March

2012

by Sharifa Stevens Looking for the “good” in GCB

We Will Always Love You, by J. Lee Grady Grace, addiction, and the short life of Whitney Houston

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Nuthin’ but a ‘B’ Thang,

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Vo l u me 6 Is s u e 3

Crash Course in Faith, by Chuck Goldberg The Emmanuel and Olena Ogiozee story

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 2

Page 3 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

Publisher May Olusola Editor

CONTENTS

Grace and Grit

Features

Good Christian what? Searching for the “good” in GCB.

by Sharifa Stevens

Heart of Hope

Soul Food

Oil tycoon’s daughter June Hunt beckons the hurting at her ministry center.

Stop the presses: We’ve got the macaroni and cheese to die for.

by May Olusola

by Joanne Cutting-Gray

God Meant It for Good

Guest Column: Enough Is Enough

A devastating car wreck didn’t derail God’s plan for the Ogiozee family.

How to get away with murder in the socalled civilized world.

by Chuck Goldberg

Julie Lyons Art Direction Jason McFarland Contributing Writers Taiwo Ayeni Joanne Cutting-Gray Iris Delgado Chuck Goldberg J. Lee Grady Mrs. Happy Hank Lamb Trevor Main Stephanie Morris-Graves Sanele Ndebele Sharifa Stevens Michael Tummillo Staff Photographer Kevin Dukes Cover photo by Kevin Dukes MannaEXPRESS 7000 Independence Parkway, Suites 160–145 Plano, Texas 75025 For subscription information e-mail us: info@mannaexpressonline.com For Advertising, event coverage, church or organization listing and general information, please call: Office: 972-782-2727; 972-228-9200 To send a message to the Publisher, e-mail: editor@mannaexpressonline.com © 2012 MannaEXPRESS All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of any portion of this issue is allowed without written permission from the publisher. MannaEXPRESS reserves the right to decline advertising that is not in accordance with what the newspaper represents.

Columns

by Stella Damasus-Aboderin

Hands Off My Children

Prayer doesn’t equip us for greater works; it is the greater work.

It Is Well

by Iris Delgado

Trust God enough to escape when you find yourself in unprofitable situations.

Third Watch

by May Olusola

Make no mistake: Godly children don’t raise themselves.

Talk Back

by Taiwo Ayeni

Our readers aren’t too thrilled about a bed on the roof of God’s house.

Prayer Mountain

This month’s focus: Putting disappointments behind us.

Manna Confidential

This wife expects her husband to say “I love you” 70 X 7.

by Mrs. Happy

Manna on the Scene

Fire in My Bones

Whitney Houston isn’t the only believer who battled addictions.

Check out the sights at the Christian Women in Media and National Religious Broadcasters conferences.

by J. Lee Grady

Manna Fun

Godly Man

Try your hand at our Bible crossword puzzle.

To enjoy the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, you’ve got to relinquish control.

Manna Groove

by Hank Lamb

Stranger danger: Indie film Doonby packs a righteous punch.

Men of Valor

by Trevor Main

Minister, author, and acclaimed columnist J. Lee Grady takes aim at “greasy grace.”

by Julie Lyons

Listings 29

Manna Live

Enjoy spring’s new beginnings at local churches and conferences this month.

Entertainment

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 4

In Whom Do You Really Trust? W

elcome to our March 2012 issue. This is our month of trusting the Lord as we spring into great things and march out of unprofitable situations, in the name of Jesus.

On any given day, people are It is well enrolling in the school of hard by May Olusola knocks and taking classes that Publisher studying the Word of God could have helped them avoid. Before I saw the light, innumerable bouts of low self-esteem made me a constant victim of betrayal. Like a bird that escaped from the snare of the deceptive fowler, the revelation of Psalm 146:3—“Do not put your trust in princes, nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help”—turned my life around. As a result, I never fail to warn people that putting their trust in man is like putting water in a twice-perforated basket. The story below says it all.

She told Derrick what her pastors said. “They are possessive of you and will say anything so you can remain a prophetess in their church,” he said. Over the next few weeks, he kept pleading with Angela and professing his undying love for her. Rather than stay in the presence of the God that kept her from day one, Angela began spending a lot of time in the presence of Derrick till she agreed to marry him based on trust and the fact that he was now the assistant pastor of a church. During the course of their marriage, Angela began seeing an unattractive side of Derrick that disturbed her. He was very selfish and too secretive for comfort. She was sure she could pray those bad traits away.

Five years of marriage and two miscarriages later, Derrick fell ill. Rather than get better, his sickness took a turn for the worse and doctors kept guessing what was wrong with him. It was at the last hospital that the doctor ran several tests, and it turned out that Derrick had fully developed AIDS. As Angela was insisting to the doctor that he had Angela became an orphan very early in life. At the age of 30, made a mistake, Derrick barely whispered in her hearing, “It she was still a virgin and had never dated any man despite is true—I discovered I was HIV-positive 10 years ago but advances from several. She wished for a true man of God— thought the Lord would heal me.” preferably a pastor. That was the beginning of the end of Angela’s trust in any During Bible study one evening, Angela caught the eyes of a human being. She could not get over the fact that Derrick tall, very handsome, well-groomed man she had never seen knew from the beginning that he had HIV, deceived her, before. She quickly looked away and thought nothing of took her virginity, and mercilessly gambled with her life. him until the following week, when she saw him again. This Derrick died a week later, leaving behind a scorned Angela time he introduced himself as Derrick and told her he was whose grief was too much to bear. in pastoral training in a nearby school. Angela was flattered Angela lived for two more years and went to be with the that a very good-looking man was paying her attention. Many more Bible study encounters birthed their friendship. Lord this past February 2012. She died from complications caused by AIDS. The news of her death pointed me to Over the next few months, they communicated and Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things and fellowshipped a lot. It was the first time Angela permitted desperately wicked: who can know it?” I pray that we will learn a man to come closer than usual. She was in such awe of to place our trust in God and not man, in Jesus’ name. Derrick’s love for God. Although she did not hear the voice of the Lord regarding him, she had no doubt in her mind Sit back, relax, read, and be blessed by great content from our talented writers. Remember to help us spread the word that Derrick was a true man of God. about MannaEXPRESS. After six months, Derrick asked Angela to marry him. She was thrilled but said she would pray about it, despite her flesh Keep trusting the Lord, getting in the way. A few days later, another brother from church saw her and said the Lord revealed to him that she was his wife and asked her to pray about it. He was a far cry from Derrick—short, unattractive, and lacking the class Derrick practically oozed. She went to her pastors and, after intensive prayer sessions, they told her Derrick was not the man for her. Angela was very disappointed. Her heart was with Derrick. Her flesh was all too willing, but her spirit was wrestling. Page 5 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

Talk Back Letters to

Why the fuss from other Christians? Why the misrepresentations about what Pastor Ed is doing? What is so wrong with him stressing the right way to have a healthy sex life? Pastor Ed and Lisa have been married for 20 years, and I feel they are in a good position to share their secret with others. If you don’t like it, then that is your cup of tea. —Trish J.

There are people who fell on hard times and just don’t know how to get out of a particular situation, or they do and just don’t have the means. God bless Mrs. Moore. If the millionaires did what she did, then I would venture to say that our country would be in way better shape than it is. Hoorah! —Perri T.

“For crying out loud, are these creative expressions not taking it too far? Where is God in all of this?”

Wow! Wow! Awesome indeed. What an Where are children and singles in all of this? inspiring and challenging story. May God bless Dorothy. Is sex talk not supposed to be for marriage —Pastor Keith Mathekga sessions? Why is it being taught in the open like there is nothing to it? What am It is amazing there are still people like her. That Silly Bed I going to tell my 6-year-old if he asks me Even after reading this [“Revival in the the meaning of Sexperiment? The church in With God, nothing is impossible—and she believed that. Inspiring! Bully Beat-down Bedroom,” by Julie Lyons, February 2012], America is really sleeping. Wake up, guys! —Ofie G. More wisdom, Pastor Lanre. I pray that I still believe the bed-on-the-roof drama —Tony Tyson more people will read this article [“How to is nothing short of a publicity stunt. Why We need more people like this lady—the Fight Bullying From the Inside Out,” by were the media invited in the first place? Great job on the article as well as the world would be so much better. May God Lanre Sobo, February 2012] and be wiser —Frances G. message itself! As far as your unanswered bless her! about matters concerning our children questions, I encourage you to check out —Sue N. and the society we live in and how to fight Let’s give it up to the Reverend Young for Wounded Heart by Dan Allender as well back spiritually. going where other men of God fear to as Pure by Grant Schultz. Both are great God put us all here for a reason. He gave —Grace Ajayi tread. After all, sex plays a big role in our Biblical resources, and I know many lives whether we want to admit it or not. people in our church community who are each of us a special talent, and she used hers in a very special way (letting God Pastor Lanre, this is great and truly —Alex experiencing real answers, healing, and lead her), and she accomplished so many moving. I never saw bullying as much freedom in these areas. God bless! until I read this. This has truly opened my I wonder what our Father in heaven was —Becky needed things on this earth. God Bless you, my friend. eyes to the spiritual side of bullying. I need thinking when a bed with the pastor and —Molly Allen to find a way to send this to all my friends. his wife was placed on top of and inside I am not one to judge, but I must say that Stay blessed. the sanctuary. Is my mind doing a number a bed on the roof of a church in the name —Wemi Fagbemi on me, or is this a big defilement beyond of promoting a book is OUTRAGEOUS! Men Are Like Trucks comprehension? Are we making this wrong —Phyllis I haven’t read the book but found your comments to be interesting [“It’s a Man’s I was disturbed and sad when I saw a child look alright? World,” by Sharifa Stevens, February who wanted to commit suicide as a result of —Toks Why is everyone making such a big deal bullying and ended up in a vegetative state. out of it? They are married, for crying out 2012]. I do believe that the role of a woman in life and in marriage has been I pray and hope that many people will read My heart skipped a serious beat the first loud. It’s not like they are unmarried being watered down, and many are in bondage this article. It will help greatly in eradicating time I saw this cover of the paper. Very in a bed, and by the way, they are fully because of bad religious doctrine that does bullying completely from our society. daring of you guys to publish it. Why did clothed! I’m a very strong God-fearing —Lara Ogunleye my heart skip? A bed on top of the house person, and I got a lot out of this and have not encompass the whole Word of God. —“Curious” of the Lord caught my attention. I hear no negativity to say. Love in a Foreign Land you when you say Ed Young is addressing —“Living4DaLord” Nice—real nice. Anything to make a buck Beautiful piece—the love of God something vital, and I applaud him for out of all the hurting people out there. It transcends all borders, literal and that. But for crying out loud, are these White Lady in the ‘Hood is not for you to put your sexual ideas on otherwise! [“Surprised by Love,” by Sanele creative expressions not taking it too far? I This is what our world needs—loving, other people. We need to hear more about Ndebele, February 2012.] think a video of Ed and Lisa in bed shown caring, and down-to-earth people Jesus and the love He has for us through —Thandeka to the congregation is better than an actual [“Dorothy Moore: How a child of bed on the roof of the house of God. privilege found a home in the East Dallas helping with the basic needs of people. Do what you want in your own bedroom; don’t This is so beautiful. Your article conveys Excuse me, but where is God in all of this? ‘hood,” by May Olusola, February 2012] peace in my spirit. I have been quieted —Leandra Cole who are not self-centered and lovers of self come into mine. See what oral sex did for Clinton and now our teenagers—please! with God’s love (Zephaniah 3:17). and pleasure more than lovers of God! —Harri —Nombulelo —Ann Reynolds

the Editor

Prayer Mountain March 2012: Putting disappointments behind us

elcome to the month of March 2012. This is our month of marching out of disappointments and springing into divine appointments, in Jesus’ name. Our Scripture reading this month is Exodus 33:14–23. Verse 14 reads, “And He said my presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Not by might nor by power but by the Spirit of the Lord we claim the presence and rest of God throughout this month, in Jesus’ name. The presence of God is the assurance of victory in any journey of life. Without the presence of God, there is no hope. The question now is what does it take to secure the presence of God and the rest He promises? Psalm 24:3–5 sums it all up: Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior. As we journey with the Lord this month, I pray that the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts will be acceptable in the sight of our Lord, our Rock, our Strength and Refuge. I also pray that the blood of Jesus will wash us clean, protect, and barricade us from all works of darkness, in Jesus’ name.

Scriptures: Psalm 16:11; Exodus 33:14; Psalm 31:20; Psalm 51:11; Acts 3:19; Psalm 139:7; Jude 1:24–25; and Psalm 84.

• I will be the head and never the tail; I will be above and never beneath in all that I do to the glory of God my Father, in Jesus’ name. • Whatever I lay my hands on according to the will of the Lord shall prosper, in Jesus’ name. • There will be a performance of the faithfulness of the Lord in my life, in Jesus’ name. • I will be conscious of the occasion of sin; I will love the Lord and love my neighbor as myself, in Jesus’ name. • I will pray without ceasing; I will see the move and manifestation of the power of the Lord as He answers my prayers, in Jesus’ name. • Because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world, I will do the things of the Word and not the world, in Jesus’ name. • My disappointments will turn to divine appointments, in Jesus’ name. • Failure will not be my portion at the edge of success, in Jesus’ name. • The Lord will contend with them that contend against His glory in my life, in Jesus’ name.

• This month of March, I will not die, my loved ones shall not die, my ministry and business shall not die, • Father, I thank you for this month of March 2012. If it but live to declare the glory, faithfulness, power, and had not been for You on my side since the beginning of grace of the Lord, in Jesus’ name. the year, where would I be? • No weapon formed or fashioned against any • I confess my sins and ask the blood of Jesus to wash department of my life shall prosper, and they that and cleanse me from every work of unrighteousness, in gather together against me and my loved ones shall the name of Jesus. stumble and fall, in the name of Jesus.

Prayer points:

• Father, let your presence go with me and my household • Lord, I thank you for your mercy and for answering my and give us rest in all areas of our lives, in Jesus’ name. prayers; blessed be your holy name, in the name of Jesus. • Father, go before us every day in a pillar of cloud and every night in a pillar of fire so all forms of darkness contending with us will flee, in the name of Jesus. • Father, send your angels to take charge of us throughout this month. Let them hold us in their hands so we do not dash our feet against physical, spiritual, financial, marital, and mental rocks, in Jesus’ name.

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 6

I decree and declare that this month of March 2012:

Intercession: We pray for our unsaved friends and family members that: • The glorious light of the gospel of Jesus Christ will shine in their hearts, in Jesus’ name.

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PRAYER REQUESTS FROM OUR READERS: “Please pray for my daughter; she is 25 years old. She is a single mom with a 4-month-old daughter. She had an episode of post-partum depression, and she has just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is hearing voices and seeing things. The doctor wants her to take all sorts of medications. She suffers because she feels if she takes them, she will never hear from God again and will never be normal again. She cries all day and is scared to live and is afraid of everything. She cannot watch TV or listen to the radio. Everyone in the family is in denial—this is so shocking to us all. Please pray God will give her peace and a sound mind again and she will not have to take the medications. Thank you, and God bless you all.” —Paralegal “Please join us in the following prayer requests: 1. Stephen and his wife have lost their only teenage son all of a sudden. They need more strength from Christ Jesus immediately. 2. AB and family are asking for an overseas missionary call immediately. 3. Sam and Lydia need God’s guidance and success as they start a business enterprise. 4. Ben asks for divine protection, success, guidance against all evil and principalities of darkness. 5. Eben and Habo are asking for success in their studies. 6. Sam, James, Barnabas, Jones, Mary’s husband, Gloria’s husband, Thomas and family, Stephen, and Bessie need to recommit their personal lives to Christ immediately, because they stopped attending church many years ago. 7. Rebecca and siblings are asking for divine protection and success for both immediate and extended family members. 8. Theresah is asking for divine help in bringing her estranged husband back to the marriage. 9. James, Gloria Rosina, Martha, Hannah, Jones, and Richard are asking for academic scholarships to continue their university education. 10. Thanks. —Ben • They will have a personal Damascus Road encounter with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. • The Lord will reveal deep and secret things to them, in the name of Jesus.

Heart of Hope

Eventually my parents married when I was a teenager, but there was a huge amount of pain in the family. So I know what it is like at one point to want to literally end the pain—meaning end life. Did I verbalize it to anyone? No. I know that so many people have unspoken pain and feel the situation is hopeless and life is hopeless. And so when that sense of hopelessness comes, people need to know God says, “I know the plan I have for you…” [Jeremiah 29:11.] Even though we don’t see what the plan is, we need to yield our will to His will. I needed to yield my will to His and trust there will be that peace that passes all understanding.

Oil tycoon’s daughter June Hunt beckons the hurting at her ministry center

ou would expect the daughter of H.L. Hunt, the late oil tycoon and one of the wealthiest people in the world at the time of his death in 1974, to act a certain way, to move in expected circles, and to Far Above Rubies maintain an intimidating by May Olusola aura that can shake even the bravest of hearts. This is not the case with June Hunt, the 12th of 14 Hunt children. Witty, charming, kindhearted, and extremely down to earth, her presence exudes peace—not the kind that comes from the world, but the one from the Word of God that surpasses all understanding. June Hunt and her three siblings were born out of wedlock to H.L. Hunt, a married man who lived a few blocks away with his first wife Lyda. June’s mother, Ruth Ray Hunt, was Mr. Hunt’s secretary and had an affair with him for a number of years. Ruth and her children lived in a simple house, and her children bore the name Wright; in these early years, June recalls, they were content and happy. June was approaching her teenage years when Lyda, her father’s first wife, died. Two years later, in 1955, Mr. Hunt married Ruth and moved her and their children into his White Rock Lake mansion in Dallas, an elaborate replica of George Washington’s plantation house, Mount Vernon. It was at this point that the children dropped the name Wright and legally bore their father’s last name.

all the things to me instead,” she says. “I analyzed and decided in my heart that ‘God hates sin, Dad is sinning, God hates Dad, I hate Dad.’” The crisis at home opened the door for a personal relationship with Christ. They started attending First Baptist Church of Dallas under the leadership of legendary pastor and preacher W.A. Criswell, and found much-needed relief there. It was unlike churches they attended in the past—this one was Bible-based. Ruth began slowly peeling away the layers of guilt that had plagued her about her adulterous relationship with Mr. Hunt. In the past, she’d kept to herself; she’d drop her children off at church but not go in because she was ashamed. June Hunt remembers her mother being a devout Christian who read her Bible all the time, opened her home for Bible studies, and gave to many charities. After attending church and studying the Word of God for some months, June Hunt had questions, even though she already realized that Christ was the Way, the Truth, and the Light. When she became a youth director in church, she discovered many people with unspoken pain like hers and saw the need for a fountain of hope by which people’s thirst for help would be quenched. With years of experience as a church department leader, conference speaker, and teacher, June Hunt’s life ended on a path she never would have envisioned.

“When we give our lives to Christ, He gives us a new heart transplant. While I was changing in a number of areas, it took me longer to change in the area of bitterness and hatred for my father for how he treated my mother.”

Moving with their mother from a simple to a very sophisticated life was a leap that did not end in a smooth landing. The glory on the outside was a far cry from the inglorious conditions at home. Living with their dad meant walking on eggshells, watching him dominate their loving mother, continue his infidelities, and hardly show affection toward his children. This is what birthed the pain, anger, and hate June Hunt developed for her dad. She loved her mother so much and could not stand to see him mistreating her. “I wanted him to do and say

Out of the pain of the sad experiences at home and seeing what other people were going through came a compassionate ministry called Hope for the Heart. Founded in 1986, it is known for a five-volume set of 100 “Counseling Through the Bible” courses that address topics such as marriage, parenting, depression, anger, stress, and suicide. Today, it has impacted many lives and is published in 27 languages. There is also a Hope Biblical Counseling Institute, an award-winning Hope for the Heart radio program heard on 900 radio outlets around

After I became a Christian, I was a blank page with no knowledge of Scripture, but once I experienced it I began to change in several ways. If we can be a part of helping people become all that God created them to be, what a privilege. Whether it is in print like MannaEXPRESS, as long as we stick to what is true and encourage people that whatever God promises is what is guaranteed, then hope comes.

You talked about going through a lot of pain growing up before your parents got married. What was your turning point in encountering Christ, and how was your knowledge of Christ able to take you to where you are today?

photo by Kevin Dukes

the world, and the popular Hope in the Night two-hour live radio counseling program that allows call-ins. June Hunt is the author of many books, including Caring for a Loved One With Cancer, which she wrote after her own experience with cancer. She is a sought-after conference speaker and an accomplished musician who has been a guest soloist with Billy Graham Crusades. In June 2010, June Hunt’s dream of bringing nonprofit Christian ministries under one roof came to pass with the opening of The Hope Center, a $48 million, 185,000-square-foot structure built in the style of a mountain lodge, with an atrium, restaurant, bookstore, and, most important, a place for counseling. The Hope Center is located in Plano and houses 50 ministries. MannaEXPRESS interviewed June Hunt at The Hope Center, where she graciously answered questions, her humble attitude plainly evident.

Where did the passion for the Hope for the Heart ministry come from? I was raised in a very painful home situation that for years I did not talk about. I was born in a family that was off on the side when my father was married to another woman, not my mother. There were secrets; there were things I didn’t talk about for years. I did not know how to even give voice to the pain, and yet it made huge a difference once I came into a full relationship with Christ.

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 8

I saw people who had something I wanted but did not know what it was. They had this quality that was very drawing to me. They were not caught up in money or status, but they knew the Bible. They had information that if I learned it, it could give me what they had. I had no idea it had anything to do with a relationship with Christ. I continued to watch for consistency, and they were consistent. I was like a sponge that had never seen water, and I was absorbing till it got to the point I asked a teacher, “How do I know if I am a Christian? I think I am.” I would love to tell you I recognized what was off in my life or that I had all this faith, but that was not the case. I knew what they had was what I needed. Based on their lives and testimony, I was willing to give Christ a try despite not having huge faith. I prayed and asked Christ to “come into my life and do whatever it is you want to do.” I was not aware my life was changing, and that is because previously I was focusing on how wrong my father was.

when we give our lives to Christ, He gives us a new heart transplant. While I was changing in a number of areas, it took me longer to change in the area of bitterness and hatred for my father for how he treated my mother. I could not change him; he was not a believer. I was bitter because of something he said to my mom, and I asked her, “How could you be so nice to him?” “Oh, honey,” she said. “He doesn’t know the Lord. If he only knew the Lord, he wouldn’t be that way.” That statement changed my paradigm, because I had been focusing on the fault and she focused on the need. From that point on I saw “love your enemies and those who persecute you.” I began to pray for his salvation and to look for things that would be meaningful to him without expecting anything in return. This was agape love and not Valentine love. With Christ in my life, my whole perception changed.

I like what you said about admitting it was a process. There is a lot of brokenness in you. Is it tied to your faith or a revelation you got? I realized first of all I have done nothing to earn authentic salvation. I did not deserve it. I was sincere but sincerely wrong in the beginning. Why did I get to hear a lifechanging message that I didn’t deserve? Everything I do is not a sacrifice; it is a privilege to be able to help people come into a life-changing situation with Christ. When I became a Christian, the more truth I had, the more I was set free. You have to be patient about sharing the Word photo by Kevin Dukes and not trying to force-feed someone if they are not hungry. Keep praying, wait, be consistent, and let your How did the vision for the Hope Center come light shine in darkness. about?

“I began to pray for his salvation and to look for things that would be meaningful to him without expecting anything in return. This was agape love and not Valentine love. With Christ in my life, my whole perception changed.”

I had bitterness and resentment toward him. Over time,

There is so much exuberance coming from you. For people hurting and going through unimaginable circumstances, what message do you have for them?

The reason I can do the Hope in the Night radio program is because I have gone through so many bizarre things, and all of the pain that I experienced is not wasted—that is the key and the message. The Bible says we are called to suffer, but no matter what we are going through, we need to entrust ourselves to the Lord, who judges justly, and He will be able to use our pain to give us an increased capacity for compassion. So whatever the pain is, it becomes your platform to literally say to another person, I understand, I can hurt with you, I will walk with you, and this is what I learned and want to share with you. Our mess becomes our ministry, because we have pain with a purpose.

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I don’t think churches do a good job of working with one another. There is jealousy, competition, fear of collaboration, suspicions, and so on. I don’t think that is what God wants. I have always wondered why ministries cannot work with each other. The Hope Center came about when we were about to renew our rent contract some years ago, and someone suggested, “Why don’t you buy the building?” I felt it was too big at the time but kept thinking of it for several years till I started thinking of multiple ministries under the same roof blessing one another. Today, the dream is a reality.

What is the international arm of the ministry doing and how is it impacting lives? Our books are in 27 languages now. We have a strong Biblical library that is very practical. We deal with relevant Biblical-based topics with practical application. How do you get the principles to work? Hope for the Heart provides the practical how-to’s. We have materials on multiple addictions and countless works on abuse, guilt, grief, marriage, family, and teenagers. I just finished teaching on dating. Next month will be on boundaries, dysfunctional families, and blended families. People want practical help; they want to know how to do it. Don’t just say “pray.” It is not enough to just say pray—the person wants to know how to pray.

continued on page 13

God Meant It for Good

A devastating car wreck one week into their marriage didn’t derail God’s plan for Emmanuel and Olena Ogiozee

N Witness by Chuck Goldberg

o one who really knows Olena and Emmanuel Ogiozee argues that divine intervention is not for today. That’s because God’s hand was a steady presence through their courtship, through a terrible auto accident just one week into their marriage, and frequently since.

in Dallas. Again, Emmanuel sought God, this time for specific signs that Olena was the one. Some signs God answered; others He did not, fueling confusion. After Olena left, they went on a three-day fast and prayed each evening. Soon, the Lord showed Emmanuel his view of the unanswered signs as negatives was wrong.

Once Emmanuel was convinced, he proposed by phone, wanting to marry immediately, while Olena hoped to wait Friends since their years together at Christ For the until after graduation. When she sought Nations Institute (CFNI) in Dallas, Olena, 29, a God, however, He provided her peace, Ukrainian, and Emmanuel, 31, a Nigerian, felt a as well as several confirmations through connection. Their relationship, however, did not take a friends who knew nothing about their romantic turn until after Olena graduated and went to situation. When Olena came to Dallas Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia, to pursue a for the wedding of Emmanuel’s sister in master’s degree in Biblical interpretation. January 2006, Emmanuel proposed in person. Olena moved to Texas in May, Romance with Olena was not what Emmanuel desired and they were married June 17, 2006. at first, because he had always reserved his heart for a fellow Nigerian. Also, when Olena left, Emmanuel began dating a Nigerian to whom he had been introduced. But he did not feel a release in his heart that the Nigerian woman was God’s will for him. Also unable to put Olena out of mind, Emmanuel did what he always does when facing a major decision—he fasts and prays. This time, he embarked upon 21 days—at one point praying with a pastor-prophet friend who said he saw Emmanuel with a white lady standing near him.

The driver said he had reflected upon the mistakes he had made in his life and resolved to reconnect more strongly with his daughter, according to Olena. He apologized for the accident and said he had begun seeking the Lord in prison and got involved with ministry. Today, the Ogiozees have three children: David, 4; Daniel, 3; and Nicole, 2. Tracy had a healthy girl, Angel, 5; and another child, Star, 3. Fasting and prayer remain indispensable for the Ogiozees whenever they face any challenge or serious decision.

Emmanuel and Olena Ogiozee and their children, from left: David, Nicole, and Daniel.

“To see us today, you wouldn’t know we suffered anything,” Olena says.

“To see us today, you wouldn’t know we suffered anything.”

“I couldn’t sleep thinking about that white lady,” Emmanuel says. “I just didn’t connect it with Olena. I wasn’t thinking of any white lady, because I had made up my mind not to marry outside my tribe.”

“It was a powerful moment,” Emmanuel says. “He was so shocked we were able to forgive him and embrace him. We shared our story, and he said it helped him get closer to God. We prayed for him that it would bring continued transformation.”

Exactly one week later, a drunk driver ran a red light, hitting them at 60 mph in a 35mph zone. Their car spun several times, hit a bridge, and jumped the median. Emmanuel broke his right arm; Olena’s mother, still visiting after the wedding, broke her pelvis and an ankle; Emmanuel’s sister Tracy, nearly five months pregnant, emerged only with bruises, though thrown into the back window.

God’s hand was also evident among her family, who met for the first time at the wedding but remained to help after the accident. Despite six people in a two-bedroom apartment, everyone united. “It was a challenging time,” Olena says, “but we just focused on the Lord and it brought us together. Little things were not important, because God gave us life. He helped us overcome any cultural differences that might have arisen between our families.”

“We want to ensure we are acting in line with God’s plan for us,” Emmanuel says. “We try to be sensitive to God’s direction. We commit the whole situation to Him.”

While others sometimes lose faith in God through trying times, the accident only served to strengthen the Ogiozees. Olena says she completely understands how some could question God in tragedy, but that was not their reaction. They instead focused on the future, realizing that God had given them another chance at life and has a higher purpose for them. As a result, they felt peace—even joy—through it all. “If you look at pictures of me through that time,” Olena says, “I’m smiling even in my wheelchair. I had such peace and happiness at God for giving us our lives back. It happened for a reason, and that reason gave us an overwhelming sense of joy and a supernatural level of faith. We kept repeating throughout that the devil meant this for evil, but God meant it for good.”

“We just focused on the Lord and it brought us together. Little things were not important, because God gave us life. He helped us overcome any cultural differences that might have arisen.”

Fasting leads to more concentration upon God, focused prayer, and more accelerated answers, say the Ogiozees. It gets them more in tune with the Spirit and empowers them. “I wish we could fast every day, because it makes our spirits so alive and just enhances our faith,” Emmanuel says. “It keeps you in that atmosphere. Whenever we stretch our faith and go out of our way, God is always faithful to meet us.”

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 10

Further adding to their faith was the news that another couple had died in an accident less horrific than theirs.

“It made me see that God must have a plan for our lives and has a destiny for us, that He wants to do something in us and through us or He would not have rescued us,” Emmanuel says. “He values us more than I thought. It just makes our faith in God grow.” The accident brought the Ogiozees additional perspective that will forever shape the way they view future difficulties. “God allowed the challenge to come and supplied His grace to meet the challenge,” Emmanuel says. “My family

Another way God brought good was giving Emmanuel a business. As he convalesced from his broken arm, he used his good arm to become more adept at graphic Throughout the 21 days, Emmanuel heard nothing from design, videography, and more. Consequently, today he God, leading to more questions, but he persisted in runs a business he never expected as a media specialist seeking Him. Finally, on the 22nd day, the answer came. for churches and ministries. Olena supervises the The Nigerian lady called from out of town, and they had a strong disagreement. When she hung up, Emmanuel Olena, in the front passenger seat, was the most seriously Remedial English Department at CFNI, heads the school library, and is pursuing a second master’s degree in knew immediately he had received a strong sign that she injured, rushed for surgery to prevent bleeding into communication. Both are youth pastors at their church, was not meant for him. her brain. She also suffered a broken pelvis, leading to Victory Royal Church in Grand Prairie, and Emmanuel five weeks in the hospital and another three months is media director. Olena is also children’s coordinator and “It was tempting to be discouraged after 21 days,” bedridden at home. In the end, she recovered from her Emmanuel says, “but God knows what He’s doing and brain injury in one month, when her doctor said it should an occasional adult Sunday school teacher. He knows the hour. Just keep hanging in there is what I have taken six months or more. Today, she is completely The drunk driver was treated and taken to jail, eventually learned. Just wait on Him and leave the results to Him.” whole, without memory loss, side effects, or headaches. sentenced to seven years. All the good that God brought Despite the 18 screws remaining in her hip, she is to the Ogiozees made it that much easier to forgive the Eventually, Emmanuel resumed contact with Olena, completely recovered, along with her mother. driver, whom they visited. having nightly hour-long phone chats and a visit from her Page 11 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

Olena was rushed for surgery to prevent bleeding into her brain. She would spend five weeks in the hospital and another three months bedridden at home.

is a miracle family. No matter what happens, I know now that God has a plan. Anything negatively that happens to me now is just a shadow. None of it has come to stay. We feel like our lives have more purpose and meaning.” • Chuck Goldberg has a degree in journalism and a Master of Divinity in Christian education. A former newspaper reporter and magazine managing editor, he is now an ordained minister and freelance writer-editor. He and his wife Dolly have three children and live in Layton, Utah.

Manna Confidential I love my husband and I know he loves me, but he does not tell me “I love you” as much as I love him to. He believes saying it once a day should cover for the whole day. Am I being petty or simply saying what I am Mrs. Happy entitled to? • • • Some people express love primarily through words; others don’t. Since you know your husband loves you, evidently he conveys love some other way. Let him communicate love through his “love language,” whatever it is. And be satisfied. Does he do things for you, such as open doors, take out the trash, or work his tail off five days a week? That is one of his ways of saying “I love you.”

Love Languages, all of us have a preferred way of receiving love. Chapman details five ways: words of affirmation; receiving gifts; quality time; acts of service; and physical touch. Naturally, the way we prefer to receive love is usually the way we display it. Part of maturing as a couple, however, is understanding how your spouse shows love and receiving it with gratitude, instead of demanding that he love exactly the way you do.

The Holy Spirit directed Mrs. Happy to the real issue, and it wasn’t deep. The man just wanted to have sex once in a while.

Does he enjoy your company? Is he content to sit beside you and watch a TV show or listen to you talk about your day? That says “I love you” as well. At the same time, because the Scriptures tell us that a husband and wife are rightly concerned with pleasing Does he touch you affectionately? Are you the delight each other (1 Corinthians 7:33–34), a wise husband and of his eyes? Does he long to make love to you, to please a wise wife will study their spouse, trying to understand you in the bedroom? That is yet another way of saying what especially pleases them. Then, as an act of love and “I love you.” submission, he or she will seek to provide that—assuming it is a godly thing. Most of us end up getting married to someone who conveys love differently than we do. As Pastor Gary Have you talked to your husband about this in a calm, Chapman points out in his well-known book, The Five loving way, without making demands? So many things

can be cleared up simply through kind communication: “A gentle tongue can break a bone” (Proverbs: 22:4). Mrs. Happy has sadly ministered to couples who refuse to provide love in a way their spouse can receive it. She recalls one time when a couple came up for prayer, and the wife carried on and on about how spiritual she was, and how she and her husband needed to grow in their faith together, blah blah blah. And the husband stood there silent, looking down and looking sad, not daring to say what was on his heart. The Holy Spirit directed Mrs. Happy to the real issue, and it wasn’t deep. He just wanted to have sex once in a while. Far from being spiritual, this wife was profoundly self-centered. Study your husband. Study your wife. Seek to please them, and by doing so you will honor God and eventually please yourself—because we reap what we sow. That said, Mrs. Happy recognizes that there is a longing in every truly close, godly relationship that is never quite fulfilled. We reach for the other person, but we never fully grasp. We desire to be loved, but it is never enough to provide lasting satisfaction.

Whitney Houston and the Curse of Addiction T

he pop diva’s death should remind us of an uncomfortable reality: People in church take drugs. Anyone who has listened to Whitney FIRE IN MY BONES Houston’s rendition of by J. Lee Grady “I Love the Lord”—or who saw her perform with CeCe Winans and Shirley Caesar at the 1996 Grammy Awards—knows she had an incomparable voice best suited for gospel music. But Whitney chose a broader path: When the doors opened for her to make a pop album in the 1980s, it became the all-time best-selling debut album by a female artist. She became America’s diva.

That is because, ultimately, only God can love us in a way that fills and satisfies forever. My prayer is that you allow God to hold your heart secure in His hands (Psalm 112:7–8), and that you reach out from that place of security and love your husband fearlessly and receive his love gratefully. •

But all her worldly success didn’t help her overcome her personal demons. Her stormy marriage was marred by domestic violence. She admitted in the 1990s that she took cocaine every day. She tried rehab three times over the course of eight years. Her voice was so damaged by her drug habit that people walked out of her comeback concert in London in 2010. She became a pathetic shell of her former self.

Mrs. Happy has been married to one man for a long time.

Christians in the music industry reached out to

Whitney and prayed with her during her up-and-down battle with addictions. But the drugs had a powerful pull. In 2006, a photo was released of her bathroom sink in Atlanta filled with crack pipes, drug paraphernalia, cigarettes, and beer cans. Even after she divorced Bobby Brown in 2007, the downward spiral continued. It all ended last month when Whitney’s body was found in her hotel bathtub in Los Angeles, just two days after she sang an impromptu version of “Jesus Loves Me” at a Hollywood nightclub. I’d like to believe it was a feeble cry to the God of her childhood. The woman who knew Whitney Houston best—her mother, gospel singer Cissy Houston—had been deeply concerned about her daughter’s choices for years. During a 2009 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Whitney recalled her mother’s words: “I am not losing you to the world. I’m not losing you to Satan. I want my daughter back. I want to see the child I raised, and you weren’t raised like this.” Her mother knew that Whitney’s choices—and perhaps the enormous temptations that come with worldwide fame—had taken her down a dangerous road.

I can’t judge Whitney, nor can I say whether she made it to heaven. Only God knows her private conversations with Him. I hope that somewhere underneath the tangled mess of her life she reached out to the Savior she sang about as a child while growing up at New Hope Baptist Church back in Newark, New Jersey. What I can do is plead with Christians today to stop ignoring the monster of addiction that is killing so many people, including those who may be sitting next to you in church. Let’s not kid ourselves. Whitney Houston was not the only person who talked about Jesus yet struggled continued on page 14

Heart of Hope

continued from page 9

If you were told 40 years ago that you would be doing this, would you have believed it? No, I had no idea, no concept of being involved in ministry. A lot of people have asked, “How did you plan your course for ministry?” and I tell them I didn’t plan my course. Someone once asked me what excites me the most about what I do. I said it is when I am able to share something and I see the light bulb come on; it gives me the most joy. The highest purpose for all of us is based on Romans 8:29, where we are predestined to be conformed to the life of the Son. I will do whatever it takes to be conformed to the character of Christ—I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. If you can’t, He can, because He is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

For more information on Hope for the Heart, visit www.hopefortheheart.org. • May Olusola is the founder and publisher of MannaEXPRESS.

Thank you, June, for a wonderful interview. May, June [pointing to herself ], and when you find April or July, we can all just line up in a row. [Laughs.] March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 12

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photo by Kevin Dukes

Out of Control I

had the opportunity to return to India on a mission trip last month. Having overcome all of the unknowns the first time around, I was able to approach this one with more confidence.

GODLY MAN

The most difficult issue for me in order to go on such a trip is to relinquish control. When you think about it, it’s an illusion to begin with. We don’t really have control of our lives each day. We just think we do. Nevertheless, once I stepped on the plane at DFW, I was at the complete mercy of others to take me where I needed to go, to feed me, to give me a place to sleep, to get me back home. by Hank Lamb

The country of India surrounds you with a plethora of sights, sounds, and smells unlike any you’ve ever experienced. This is certainly true for a man born and raised in Texas. We went to places like Raipur, Motimpur, Bilaspur, Jakabanda, Bandhavagarh, Damoh, Agra, and, of course, Delhi. I have never experienced such a sensory overload in my life. There is a constant dissonance in your mind and

Whitney Houston continued from page 13

privately with illegal drugs. I frequently meet men and women at church altars who have never found the strength to kick their habit. I even know of pastors, youth leaders, and worship leaders who live double lives—hiding their addiction under the cloak of Sunday morning religion. They hide because they’re afraid they’ll be shunned or shamed if they ever admit their problem to anybody. What we need is less judgment and more transparency about this problem. Drugs, including alcohol, are harsh taskmasters. Crack and crystal meth are impossible to overcome apart from serious intervention. Once a person’s brain is altered by these substances, he or she needs a miracle. Telling them to “Just say no” is not going to cut it. But we can’t pretend people are OK when they are hooked on drugs. If the addiction continues, they are likely to end up dead. I agree with Cissy Houston

heart as you see things that are diametrically opposites. For instance, walking up to a mall you see on your left a family washing their clothes on the rocks, a pig and a cow, and a shanty to live under. On the right is the beautiful mall filled with stores like those in America.

We heard the testimony of many pastors. All were heartwrenching and faith-stretching. One in particular still resonates deeply. This pastor, as a child, was sold into slavery by his father for a bag of rice. It was the best decision for all concerned.

In every location we went to we were approached by children begging, and many selling trinkets of every imaginable kind. If you gave a rupee to each one you would be broke by the end of the day.

The family would be fed. The son would also be fed, but would now work as a slave. And there were many beatings and the withholding of food when the master was displeased.

This pastor, as a child, was sold into slavery by his father for a bag of rice. It was the best decision for all concerned. We worshiped with many churches. I love hearing praise sung in different languages. On rare occasions we recognized the tune and sang in English as they sang in their language. When they pray it’s typical for everyone to pray out loud at the same time. Over and over I kept thinking that this is what the church was like in the book of Acts—so little formality filled with so much passion and purpose. How refreshing!

that Satan was involved in Whitney’s sad journey. Hell is directly connected to every crack deal ever made.

Christians in the music industry reached out to Whitney and prayed with her during her upand-down battle with addictions. But the drugs had a powerful pull. If you are addicted, please be willing to seek help by admitting your problem to your pastor or a trusted Christian friend. If you have someone in your family who is addicted, don’t wait until it’s too late to intervene.

The mission we support was able to buy him back and raise him in their children’s home. He graduated from their Bible college and is now serving as a pastor. He has led hundreds of people to Christ. There are so many lessons to be learned from such a trip. The one that convicts me most deeply is that they do so much with so little, and by comparison we seem to do so little with so much. Psalms 119:32 (NASB) says, “I shall run the way of Your commandments, for You will enlarge my heart.” The NLT says, “…for you expand my understanding.” If you pay attention to what the Spirit is saying, you can learn lifechanging lessons whether in India on a mission trip or at home. Every day we should be seeking to “run the way” the Lord has set before us and learn to do much with all that He has given us. • Hank Lamb is senior pastor of Central Christian Church in Richardson.

Barge into their lives if necessary to show tough love. (And pass on this article to them.) If you are a pastor, extend mercy. Talk about addiction from the pulpit and make sure your congregation knows your church is a safe place to find healing. Then, identify effective Christian drug rehab ministries in your area and refer people there, especially if your church counseling team is not equipped to tackle hard cases. Remember: Jesus has a message for anyone struggling with drugs: “Come to me, all who are weary and heavyladen, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Whitney Houston’s death was tragic, but perhaps the warning that emerges from her story will end up saving lives. • J. Lee Grady is contributing editor of Charisma magazine. You can learn more about his ministry at themordecaiproject.org. This article is reprinted by permission from Charisma magazine online.

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The Watchman

people when you look at this, or when you talk to abused women or abandoned women in Uganda. That was something I really had to face on this last trip— how much abandonment goes on there. Because there’s no repercussions for it. If a man gets married and then has four kids and decides he wants to leave the woman, he can just walk out on her, and she has no money and there’s no law to make him pay for anything.

Minister, author, and columnist J. Lee Grady takes aim at “greasy grace”

Lee Grady is the finest commentator on the charismaticPentecostal church movement today and one of the best religion columnists in the country.

Men of Valor

He is also an ordained minister, author, and conference speaker who has launched a ministry, The Mordecai Project, that is dedicated to empowering women and confronting domestic and sexual abuse worldwide. by Julie Lyons Editor

I’ve followed Grady’s weekly column for Charisma magazine, Fire in My Bones, for years, and have been encouraged by his willingness to take on corruption, immorality, and craziness in the charismatic movement to which both of us belong. Grady was one of the first to publicly declare that he smelled a rat in the outrageous antics of healing evangelist Todd Bentley, the burly, tattooed central figure in the Lakeland Revival of four years ago that was famously played out in real time on GOD TV. Bentley would smack some of the people for whom he prayed, claiming the Holy Spirit prompted him to do these things. After a few months of worldwide fame, Bentley abruptly left the revival, which started at Stephen Strader’s Ignited Church in Lakeland, Florida. It was later revealed that Bentley, who was married, had been involved in an inappropriate relationship with a ministry intern even as he was taking the stage to talk about mystical events and visions of angels. A year later, Bentley had divorced his wife and married the intern, and Rick Joyner, a best-selling Christian author and pastor with a prophetic ministry, quickly rallied believers to support the evangelist and his “gift.” Grady spoke up in one of his best columns, “The Tragic Scandal of Greasy Grace,” writing: “Many Christians today have rejected Biblical discipline and adopted a sweet, spineless love that cannot correct. Our grace is greasy. No matter what

What are the churches doing about it—and what do you encourage them to do?

an offending brother does, we stroke him and pet him and nurse his wounds while we ignore the people he wounded…because, after all, who are we to judge?”

I’m teaching that the women need to rise up and become the arms and the hands of Jesus to minister to other women who are suffering, and then encouraging the churches to come up with compassionate ways to provide care for these people. In the natural, that’s going to be things like domestic violence shelters, which are very rare in Africa, because the mindset is that women are just supposed to put up with that.

Grady’s columns provoked a 10-minute retort from Rick Joyner on YouTube that can be viewed today. Joyner brands Grady as self-righteous and questions whether he has a right to criticize any leader in the body of Christ. None of this deterred Grady in the least—but his response wasn’t the righteous indignation I’d expect from a skillful investigative journalist and bold columnist. Grady, in fact, waited six weeks before he even watched Joyner’s statement, because he wanted to keep his heart right. And first he spent quality time praying for Joyner. That’s why Grady’s the kind of man I want to listen to in this long, trying season of upheaval in the charismatic churches, and why MannaEXPRESS has chosen him as the first subject of our new “Men of Valor” column. I caught up with Grady last month at the home in Orlando, Florida, that he shares with his wife of 28 years.

What kind of reception do you get in developing countries to your message about women? It’s a mixed bag, because you’re coming against cultural strongholds and cultural mindsets that have been ingrained for a long, long time. And I make it very clear from the very beginning that I’m not bringing American culture— what I’ve come to bring is the culture of the kingdom of God. So then I get into the nitty-gritty areas—polygamy is not God’s culture. Wife-beating is not God’s culture. Female genital mutilation is not God’s culture. And so you hit up against things that some people in their minds are struggling with, because 70 percent of women in Uganda [where Grady recently ministered] believe that it’s OK for a man to beat his wife if she burns his dinner. When I tell the women God doesn’t look at you as inferior, well, they want to believe that, but they’ve been conditioned to believe something else. When I was with the guys, I really hit hard on the wifebeating and the attitude that men are superior. These are Christians, and they want to believe that the Word has the final say. And when I show them Scripture that directly contradicts cultural strongholds, they respond positively. But typically, preachers are not addressing those issues from the pulpit.

Why is that? Because the culture has been in control. In Guatemala, 65 percent of the pastors in some regions think it’s OK to beat their wife. So you can imagine how it is in a church if the pastor believes that. They’re just gonna have lots of praise and worship, and they might have great passionate preaching about other things, but they don’t address those issues. So I come in there, and it kind of messes up everything, because they weren’t thinking about those things. And then you get lots of men who come to the front to repent for abuse.

Do you ever have to deal with anger when you confront some of these things? I don’t think anger is going to help resolve this. I have compassion for the men who are abusers, because I know that they’re just under the bondage of a cultural mindset. And I know that when it’s exposed, a lot of them are gonna repent and want to change, and I’ve seen a lot of these guys change. My personality doesn’t necessarily come out in anger so much as, I know that people are evil and people are sinners, so yeah, I’m mad at that, but I also see the devil in all of this, so I probably direct most of my anger toward him [laughs]. Because when you look at something like female genital mutilation, the devil’s fingerprints are all over that. If anybody doubts that there is a devil, they need to go to Eastern Uganda [where the practice—in which girls’ external genitals are sliced off without anesthesia, supposedly to curb promiscuity—is prevalent] and see that. Because the devil hates women, and you see his anger, you see his fury at

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 18

You’ve spoken out a lot about immorality in church leadership, especially in the Pentecostal-charismatic churches. Why do you think there is so much immorality? I think we fight just as much with cultural strongholds here. And I believe that there’s a cultural stronghold in America right now that’s very much about sexual immorality. Our country is saturated in pornography— you can’t live a normal life without running into it all the time. The values of our nation have shifted so we’re being force-fed a diet of licentiousness. Our culture is totally gone off into that, and so it affects the church. If leaders are looking at pornography, then how can you preach that it’s wrong? Basically, a lot of the church has bowed its knee to Baal, and that’s where we are.

Has the problem become worse among church leaders? It’s not like there was never adultery or immorality before. But I think the degree of it and the percentage affected by it has certainly increased. I do think that a lot of the reason why it has become so prevalent is pornography. Most guys that I counsel who have fallen into some kind of immoral act, you can always trace it back to pornography.

You were pretty outspoken about the Lakeland Revival, and Todd Bentley shedding his wife and having a relationship with the woman he eventually married. I know you were rebuked pretty harshly by Rick Joyner afterward. As I said many times in print, I believe in restoration. What concerned me about the situation with Todd is that he didn’t go through the process. He was hurriedly “restored” by Rick coming to his defense. Some of the things Rick said were to me very irresponsible for a leader in the body of Christ. He made some comment about how we really are rough on divorced people, and why do that, because God himself is divorced—he made the analogy that God divorced himself from Israel.

I’ve never heard that one before. Wow. So, it was just so hurriedly put together, and meanwhile you have the former wife in Canada with three kids, and there was no mention of her in Rick’s initial letter where he was pleading for people to support Todd. I don’t have any regrets about what I said in that situation, and many people I’ve run into have thanked me for saying it.

“Most guys that I counsel who have fallen into some kind of immoral act, you can always trace it back to pornography.” There’s a desperation for signs and wonders and miracles, and I don’t fault people for wanting that—I believe God wants to bring that. But I do believe that we got so aggressive and desperate for miracles that we forgot that you have to have character to go alongside anointing. There’s just a tragic lack of discernment in the body of Christ. We have somebody stand up and say something totally flaky to a huge audience, and everybody jumps up and down and gets excited. They don’t smell a rat.

tempt them to believe some weird doctrine and go off theologically. And if that doesn’t work, he’s just gonna try to discourage them. A lot of people quit or go off for those reasons—they don’t finish well.

One thing Rick Joyner says on YouTube is that basically you have no right to criticize any church leader—any person called and anointed by God. I wasn’t really sure where he was coming from on that. What I don’t think Rick understands is that I’ve been an ordained minister of the gospel since 2000, I’ve been in ministry pretty much my whole life, I preach all over the world. Obviously those people recognize that I have some kind of right to speak to these issues. It’s kind of an arrogant thing to say. I can’t tell you how many times people have told me all over the world, thank you, thank you, thank you for writing those things that you did about Lakeland. Because your writing helped us make sense of the whole thing. I’m not saying that every word I wrote was perfect. But the Lord was involved in using me in that situation. I don’t lose any sleep over it, honestly.

Rick Joyner called you self-righteous. I’m assuming he thinks I’m self-righteous because I’m holding up a standard. I’m saying we shouldn’t be restoring people quickly to ministry when they’ve just run out on their wife and left their family and married the girl they were having an affair with. My view is, how are we going to hold up a standard in the body of Christ if we don’t actually practice church discipline?

What does your wife think of your work with the Mordecai Project? My wife is 100 percent behind me. She’s obviously the mother of our four daughters, so she understands the passion that I have.

What do you see prophetically for the church in the U.S.?

Some people are very negative about this season, but I am not. I believe that really what’s going on is we’re in a clean-up phase—the church is in reform. A lot of leaders out there have had it with this craziness. So What do you think the church’s answer is to they’re making changes; they are emphasizing things this epidemic of immorality and pornography? The Pentecostal movement has a history of like holiness and integrity and healthy leadership. Are we dealing with demonic forces here? highly gifted individuals whose character didn’t We’re throwing a lot of things overboard right now Of course the devil wants to destroy human that need to be jettisoned—a lot of the hyperstack up, yet they performed verifiable signs relationships. The devil hates human sexuality. He prosperity emphasis, the unhealthy styles of leadership, and wonders. So how do you reconcile that wants to destroy that, because God created man the quirkiness and the lack of authenticity. God is when you say character is necessary too? and woman in his image, and His nature is reflected building His church, and I’m not the least bit worried Obviously we haven’t learned from our mistakes. The through man and woman, so satan hates that and devil really doesn’t have that many tricks in his bag; if he that He won’t finish the work. • wants to destroy that through all kinds of immorality can’t get gifted leaders to stumble into pride, he’s gonna and perversion. But how we fight that is we have to try to get them to stumble into sexual immorality. If that Julie Lyons is a journalist, author, and editor. She lives in expose the agenda. Repentance has always been the doesn’t work, he’s gonna try to get them to do something Dallas with her husband and son. answer, but we have to preach that. that lacks integrity. If that doesn’t work, he’s gonna try to Page 19 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

Manna FUN!

Christian Women In Media Association (CWIMA) and National Religious Broadcasters (NRB) Conference Snapshots Bad Bob! continued from the last issue

Solution to last issue’s crossword!

The Christian Barber

so Attendee

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There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, “Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door.” Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, “I want a shave!” The barber said, “Sure, just sit in the seat and I’ll be with you in a moment.” The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, “God, the first customer came in and I’m going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen.”

Jesus actor

Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying, “Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?”

You and Your Bible Crossword Puzzle Across

May and Ruth Graham

Joni Earec

Kay Arthur

Carol Swain, Thelma Wells, Sue llen Roberts, Marina Mclean and her friend

kson Tada

stonwood Baptist Pastor Jack Graham of Pre Church, Dallas

Women’s breakf as

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 20

1. Since they ____ knowledge and did not choose (Prov 1:29) 6. heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her ___ (Luke 1:41) 10. A little leaven leaveneth the whole ___ (Gal 5:9) KJV 14. every kind of clean animal, ___ ___ and its mate (1,4) (Gen 7:2) 15. I will make thee ruler ____ many things (Matt 25:23) KJV 16. looked like ___ ___ of glass, clear as crystal (1,3) (Rev 4:6) 17. any liquor of grapes, nor eat ____ grapes (Num 6:30) 18. and your hands ___ out violence on the earth (Ps 58:2) 19. there was a continual ___ given him of the king (Jer 52:34) 20. Wake up, O ___, rise from the dead (Eph 5:14) 22. present ___ ___ of that tithe as the LORD’s (1,5) (Num 18:26) 25. Noah and his ___ , Shem, Ham and Japheth (Gen 7:13) 26. represents the ___ of Media and Persia (Dan 8:20) 27. an ___ nearby that belonged to Publius, the chief (Acts 28:7) 31. saw his star in the ___ and have come to (Matt 2:2) 34. And ____ told Jezebel all that Elijah had done (1 King 19:1) 35. appeareth for a little time, and ____ vanisheth away (James 4:14) KJV 37. A ___ herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside (Mark 5:11-12) 41. The price for his ___ is to be based on the rate (Lev 25:50) 43. many there be which go in ___ (Matt 7:13) KJV 45. I have not ___ in a house from the day (1 Chron 17:5) 46. “You ___ were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said (Matt 26:69) 48. knowing that God had sworn with an ____ to him (Acts 2:30) 49. is to be based on the ___ paid to a hired man (Lev 25:50) 51. behold a ___ set up on the earth (Gen 28:12) KJV 53. they will stay fresh and ___ (Ps 92:14) 56. very dry (Luke 11:24) 58. for he had given them what they ___ (Ps 78:29) 59. I sent you without purse, bag or ___ (Luke 22:35) 63. the poor ____ the gospel preached to them (Matt 11:5) 64. Father, keep through ___ own name those (John 17:11) KJV 66. and wore a ___ of scale armor (1 Sam 17:5) 68. he commandeth ____ the winds and water (Luke 8:25) KJV 69. Your rigging ___ loose: The mast is not (Isa 33:23) 70. he shall ____ them with a rod of iron (Rev 19:15)

71. after three years I ____ up to Jerusalem to see Peter (Gal 1:18) 72. do not reap to the very ___ of your field (Lev 23:22) 73. Adams first home (Gen 2:8)

Down

1. Second son of Noah (Gen.7:13) 2. the OT book after Joel 3. His ___ swept a third of the stars out of the sky (Rev 12:4) 4. Above all ___ , guard your heart (Prov 4:23) 5. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips ___ wickedness (Prov 8:7) 6. Two ___ will be grinding grain together (Luke 17:35) 7. three thousand and six hundred to ___ them (2 Chron 2:2) KJV 8. priest of the most high God, who ____ Abraham (Heb 7:1) 9. Everyone who sins ___ the law (I Jn 3:4) 10. He brought out Israel, ___ with silver and gold (Ps 105:37) 11. Eve out of the garden ___ a flaming sword (Gen 3:24) 12. so does the church that ___ at their house (1 Cor 16:19) 13. Do not set foot on the ___ of the wicked (Prov 4:14) 21. That is why the ___ say: “Come to Heshbon” (Num 21:27) 23. Pilate wrote a ____, and put it on the cross (John 19:19) 24. heads or shave off the edges of their ___ (Lev 21:5) 28. Wilt thou not ___ us what thou meanest by these? (Ezek 37:18) KJV 29. we spend our years as a ___ that is told (Ps 90:9) KJV 30. Cain talked with ____ his brother (Gen 4:8) 32. ____ are creatures of little strength (Prov 30:25) 33. Then ____, Moses’ father in law, took Zipporah (Exodus 18:2) 36. cold and ____, and summer and winter (Gen 8:22) 38. I see ___ ___ of an almond tree (1,3) (Jer 1:11) 39. They ____ from the Book of the Law of God (Neh 8:8) 40. small is the ___ and narrow the road that leads to life (Matt 7:14) 42. and ____ ____ to be desired to make one wise (1,4) (Gen 3:6) 44. if they continue in faith, love and ___ (1 Tim 2:15) 47. Thou shalt destroy them that speak ___ (Ps 5:6) KJV 50. he was accused by the chief priests ___ __ elders (3,3) (Matt 27:12-13) 52. make every effort to ____ to your faith (2 Pet 1:5)

Page 21 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

53. like the slain who lie in the ___ (Ps 88:5) 54. he sent forth a ____, which went forth to and fro (Gen 8:7) 55. there is one ___ to the righteous, and to the wicked (Eccles 9:2) 57. letting your cattle and donkeys ___ free (Isa 32:20) 58. shall ye not eat of them that ____ the cud (Lev 11:4) KJV 60. twenty men in an area of about half an ___ (1 Sam 14:14) 61. Jesus cried out in a ___ voice, “Eloi, Eloi, (Mark 15:34) 62. sold your people for a pittance, gaining nothing from their ___ (Ps 44:12) 65. And he ____ in his right hand seven stars (Rev 1:16) 67. having seven heads and ____ horns (Rev 12:3)

Answers in the next issue!

Stranger Danger: I

get excited whenever I see an indie film like Doonby, because I never know what to expect. Indie storytelling rarely follows the everyday Hollywood we’re used to, and it’s a great way to MANNA GROOVE break out of the assembly by Trevor Main line and enjoy something handmade. Though Doonby fell below par in some areas, having the guts to experiment can yield real treasures in moviemaking.

Indie film Doonby packs a punchy end

That a character like Sam would fall in love is hard to swallow. He’s similar to Chris McCandless from Into the Wild; a man not interested in typical things like wealth or romance, which makes the love interest between him and Laura (Jenn Gotzon) feel a bit contrived.

Having said that, one of the most powerful and Christ-like scenes in the film is between the two when she barges in on Sam Doonby (John Schneider), a charming and him, drunk and poisoned by mysterious drifter, arrives in a small town in Texas the town’s ill-favored opinions. where everyone takes a liking to him. He saves lives She physically attacks him and exposes frauds within the town where no one else and his personal possessions. could have helped. But things like armed robberies and He remains patient until she calms down. Having done malicious set-ups never used to happen, and the locals nothing but good for her and the town, he asks, “What begin to turn on Sam, looking for someone to blame. do you want me to be?” Still out of her mind, she whispers, “I don’t want you to be.” She then passes out on One of the most impressive things about Doonby is that his bed. He sits beside her and grieves. After tucking her it keeps you guessing what the conflict is really about. into his bed and kissing her goodnight, he leaves. At times the story will feign in one direction only to reveal deeper and deeper layers until the big punch at The movie, and this scene in particular, reminded me of the end. the troubles that I had to face when I chose to believe in Jesus Christ. Not The repeated fade-outs because He brought that separate scenes give them upon me, but the film an episodic feel because wherever He and make it difficult goes the enemy follows, to discuss as one fluid trying to destroy His narrative. The flashbacks new creation in you of Sam’s mother seem to and me. In the darkness be widely disconnected of our situations we with the main storyline sometimes lash out and force the audience to at God. Being the trust that the two stories gentleman that He is, will somehow fit together He obliges to our wishes by the end. much like in Song of Songs 5:2-6, where the At first glance Sam seems woman avoids the man like a flawless, boring, when he tries to initiate all-American guy without intimacy. So he departs, any moral weakness, like Captain America, and in a leaving for her a gift of myrrh at the door, and waits for small way he’s just that. This would normally annoy the her desire to well up for him once more: “I have taken heck out of me, but Sam Doonby is different in that off my robe. Must I put it on again? I have washed my feet. even though he possesses solid moral fiber, the way he Must I soil them again? I opened [the door] for my beloved, responds to people’s suspicions of him is evasive and but my beloved had left. He was gone. My heart sank at his sometimes flat-out defensive. He gives the impression departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called that there’s a darker side to him than what we see. to him but he did not answer.”

Doonby sets aside the guilt-trip tactic by offering a reason to give birth to a baby of an unplanned pregnancy rather than abort it. It’s never just about the mother.

Good Christian What? A Look at GCB.

One of the biggest flaws of the movie is its lack of continuity. The message is gripping. The end is clear and could be understood in various ways, but no matter how you interpret it, logical inconsistencies emerge from the plot that can create disbelief, even within the film’s own fictional world. The central theme of the film is pro-life. I went into the theater knowing this. I waited and waited for it to come up but it never did until the very end. This is not a bad thing, because in order for the theme to pack the most punch it has to wait until the end, and you can replay the story and see how the pro-life theme makes sense. The Christian’s most common argument against abortion is the idea that it is equivalent to murder. But the truth is many people don’t see it this way, and they end up talking past each other. Doonby sets aside the guilt-trip tactic by offering a reason to give birth to a baby of an unplanned pregnancy rather than abort it. It’s never just about the mother. Perhaps you or someone you know is thinking about getting an abortion. Or maybe you have no solid opinion on the matter and are simply looking for insight. Watch this movie, and with God’s grace you may gain perspective on your child’s future. • Trevor Main has a B.A. in fiction writing from Columbia College, Chicago, and is working on his master’s degree in communication at Dallas Theological Seminary. His ministry experience with Youth With a Mission has taken him across Europe, Africa, and Asia.

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 22

attempted to watch Sex and the City at the height of its popularity, because I like to keep up with pop culture, and because I enjoy good writing. Beyond all the fornication and strange manifestations of grace and grit self-discovery that most by Sharifa Stevens Christians would chafe at, one main thing kept me from being fan: what I’ll call the Friends Phenomenon. Like Friends, the writers of Sex and the City managed to reduce the city’s teeming sea of various cultures, races, religions, and classes to a diluted monolithic wading pool. I didn’t recognize my hometown; I didn’t see myself in any of the faces of the characters, and the women were reduced to martinis and Manolo Blahniks. Yawn. I had hoped for something different while watching GCB (Darren Star, who produced Sex and the City, also produced this show). This time, the city is Dallas, and the women are good, Christian… well…you know, B’s. Like Sex and the City, a group of women are the focus of the ensemble cast, and they seem to have large sums of disposable income. That’s where the similarities end. The trailers promise a show that parodies the hypocrisy of people who call themselves “good Christian,” all the while modeling themselves more after Pontius Pilate than the humble Carpenter they claim to love so dearly.

Madoff’s good-looking and still evil twin, bilking away billions in an elaborate Ponzi scheme. He drives off with his mistress after liquidating the bank accounts and emptying the family safe. They end up driving off a cliff, because, well, let’s just say that the activity they were engaged in shortly before their death is not well-suited for high-speed driving. Amanda, now destitute, is forced to return to her mother’s house in Dallas. Back in her hometown she’s confronted with the people she snubbed and stepped on throughout high school, who are now pillars of Dallas society. Specifically, the Good Christian, ahem, Belles—Heather, Sharon, Cricket, and holy-rolling ringleader Carlene—who never forgot how badly Amanda mistreated them. And now they intend to make her pay. Will Amanda be contrite? Will the people she spurned forgive her? How will she rebuild her life, and what will she do to make amends? Good stuff.

Blahniks and Manhattans are replaced with Stetsons and spiked iced tea. Football, Neiman Marcus, and the state fairgrounds feature prominently. Yes, yes, enough already. I know the show’s in Texas.

It’s about time. Parody away, I say. Poke fun at the ridiculous excess and completely false righteousness. I popped the popcorn. I nestled into a comfy chair and sat with wide-eyed anticipation. The premise has great fodder for both comedy and drama. A former mean girl, Amanda Vaughn (played by Leslie Bibb), lived in the lap of luxury with her highschool sweetheart. This sweetheart turns out to be Bernie

Well, heck. GCB might as well stand for Goofy, Constipated, and Boring. As in, the characters are cardboard stereotypes. The Friends Phenom, this time with a Southern drawl. Blahniks and Manhattans are replaced with Stetsons and spiked iced tea. Football, Neiman Marcus, and the state fairgrounds feature prominently. Yes, yes, enough already. I know the show’s in Texas.

There is no tension; Amanda’s character has changed from mean to serene, but we never witness how or why. She’s just presumed good (am I to believe that living high on the hog in Los Angeles grounded her? Really?), and her emotional response is the plumb line for the show. The people she’s hurt seem to have deserved it. For example, Carlene (played by Kristin Chenoweth), the former fat girl turned bombshell, spews Scriptural rhetoric in order to undermine Amanda and manipulate her friends, and spends time watching Amanda through a telescope (literally) and gossiping. When the characters’ dispositions are firmly set in stone, there’s no place for emotional development. In fact, Amanda, at the end of the episode, stands up and prays in the middle of church

Page 23 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

in order to give what amounts to a verbal middle finger to her high school rivals. She’s no more mature than they. Adding to the Friends Phenom, there were only three people of color on the show. One black woman worked at a Hooters-type establishment, and one Latina works as a maid and only speaks Spanish. The last, another Latina who is part of the core group of women, is a real estate mogul and not a maid. Hooray! Oh, wait—but her mother was the janitor when they were in high school. Sigh. I had wished for what I popped the popcorn for: the crosssection of faith and life, the tension of redemption, and a fiery indictment of hypocrisy. In short, I expected to see human drama. Instead, there were the usual suspects of excess, cattiness, and overall shallowness. It was a song that played one note, badly. Repeatedly. It may have been 18 years, but apparently no one ever left high school. Pilots can be weak, so I am giving GCB the benefit of the doubt. I wonder how they will develop the character of Blake Reilly (played by Mark Delkin), the in-the-closet husband of Cricket. Also, Heather, the Latina real estate executive, showed mercy and care for Amanda, even as she was goaded on by the rest of the pack to be mean to the former mean girl. There’s a potential for audiences to see grace modeled through her. This show needs saving bad. The script is so trite and thin that veteran actors such as Annie Potts (who plays Gigi Stopper, Amanda’s mother) and Chenoweth are straining to convey three-dimensional, depth-filled characters. I hope that they decide to balance the “B” of GCB, which the writers have hit with nauseating accuracy, with the “GC.” The tension of feeling like a B and remaining a good Christian even when faced with your old demons and present trials is what will take the program out of Friends/ Sex and the City purgatory and into ratings heaven. • Sharifa Stevens is a wife and mother, singer, and writer. She earned a B.A. from Columbia University in New York and a Master of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. She lives in Dallas.

Enough Is Enough

Mac Attack C

Soul Food by Joanne Cutting-Gray

juicy chicken frying in a pan.

omfort food. There’s a reason why it’s called that. We think of our favorite dishes from childhood, celebrations, holidays, feasts. Our mouths and noses water at the smell of apples and pastry stiffening in the oven, bean soup simmering on the stove,

Why do those foods comfort us? Not because of how they were made or why, but who. Who we associate with love, warmth, and getting together around a table. Not food on the fly, not instant anything, but slow food—slow in that we have to wait to eat it. Slow like pot roast steeping in its juices. Slow like anticipation. Slow as though given in love. There’s something deep and wise about comfort food. Comfort isn’t just about satisfying oneself, it’s also about the One who comforts. “But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me” (John 15:26). Comforter comes from the Greek word Paraclete: advocate, intercessor, to help, strengthen, to call to one’s aid, one who comforts. Comfort food testifies truly. It is honest, real, and satisfying. To soothe, console, reassure, bring cheer, give hope to, relieve. Comfort food does all those things. Even when it takes time, it gives a sense of ease to the one who makes it. Comfort food is not pretentious. It does not try to impress. It does not tie us in knots when we cook it for guests.

make it? This macaroni and cheese does. It’s so cheesy, so creamy, so buttery, you’ll never make that other kind again. I even serve this dish for guests. It’s that good.

How to get away with murder in the so-called civilized world t was 8 that morning and I was already dressed in my black dress, black shoes, and no make-up, with my brushed hair in a ponytail. I was heading to Yaba, Lagos, in Nigeria, for a friend’s funeral.

Macaroni & Cheese

This mac-and-cheese is made with penne pasta. Penne, which you’ll find in grocery stores with other pastas, is shaped like a small hollow tube and has a ribbed surface. The tubes allow the sauce to ooze through the middle, and the tiny ribs prevent the sauce from sliding off the way it does with elbow macaroni. That way every piece of pasta is coated with sauce. Now that’s comfort!

4 cups penne pasta cooked

Here’s a time-saving tip: Cook the entire box of penne, save what you don’t need by coating it with a little cooking oil so as not to stick, and pop it into the freezer. Voila. You have pasta ready for next time or another recipe. Just heat it in the microwave or douse it in boiling water for a minute. You can do this with almost any thick pasta, including lasagna noodles.

1 teaspoon dry mustard

Blend milk and cornstarch. Add butter, onion, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt, and pepper. Cook until thick. Add cheeses. Brown crumbs in butter. In baking dish layer pasta and sauce and sprinkle with crumbs. Bake at 350 until brown, about 20 minutes. Serves five.

8-ounce package cheddar cheese grated

It’s so cheesy, so creamy, so buttery, you’ll never make that other kind again. I even serve this dish for guests. It’s that good.

2 ½ cups cold milk 2 Tablespoons cornstarch ¼ cup onions grated

½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce ¼ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon white pepper

4 oz. swiss cheese grated ¼ cup bread crumbs 1 Tablespoon butter

One more time-saving tip: We are just two at home, so we make the full recipe, and except for baking it, freeze half. Then we pop it right from the freezer into the oven until it bubbles.

You can substitute other cheeses you like for the swiss as long as the cheddar taste is dominant. And don’t skip the browned crumbs. They add a golden-crunchy color and texture to the pasta. I serve the dish with a salad and canned diced tomatoes. The tomatoes—heated, and with the addition of a bit of sugar, salt, and basil—make a good acidic contrast to the creamy cheese sauce, and the salad adds texture and color. The thought of this soothing dish on a cold winter day makes me hum the opening lines from Handel’s Messiah: “Comfort ye. Comfort ye my people, saith your God.” •

One of those comfort foods is macaroni and cheese. Not the freeze-dried, processed stuff filled with artificial ingredients and prepackaged in a box, but the velvety sauce made from real cheddar and swiss. Joanne Cutting-Gray, Ph.D. is an author, scholar, and lifelong student of cooking. She lives with her husband in But, you say, the boxed stuff is cheap and fast. And Savannah, Georgia. I say, yes, but is it good? Does it comfort you to

March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 24

Guest Column by Stella Damasus-Aboderin

She was 35 and beautiful, a mother of two beautiful children. I really did not want to go, because I was not sure how I was going to react. I didn’t know if I could pull myself together.

He had beaten her so much for sending her own money to her mother without telling him, and when she tried to protect herself by pushing him off of her, he got infuriated and hit her head on the wall. This time there was no black eye, no bruise to worry about—she just did not wake up. When her sister called me in the middle of the night, I was not sure whether to cry or get angry or scream. My whole body was shaking, and all I could say was “no… no…no…please God, no, no, no…please!”

English, “Na naija we dey o, and when you die your dead body no go come prove to the court say na me kill you.” My late friend then called her sister to tell her what had happened and that she was going to see the pastor. I asked her sister: “Why the pastor? Why not the police?” The sister laughed and said, “Do you know how many times she tried that? The policeman she met on duty laughed and said, ‘Madam, na domestic matter be dis abeg, husband and wife must fight, go beg your husband.”

When her husband found out, he laughed and asked if I started to feel guilty: “Maybe I should have moved her out she thought she was in America. Then he beat her some of there.” But then again, who am I to move her out of her more for even attempting. Anyway, I got to the church and it was filled with people husband’s house when she herself refused to move? It really who knew her and had heard of her. As I approached the hurt, so much that even as I am writing this I am still crying. So, she went to the pastor and told him everything again, church, I was already battling with the huge lump in my because that was not the first time she went to him to throat, making sure I could at least sit through the service. The case was taken to court and dismissed, because complain and ask for help. As usual the pastor said, “My I managed to get inside, and then the ushers took me up supposedly there wasn’t enough evidence, and so he daughter, there is nothing God cannot do. Please, prayer front to sit with the family. I saw her mother and siblings, was discharged and acquitted. In a country where an is what you need. Keep praying to God to touch his who were weeping uncontrollably, so I tried to console accurate autopsy cannot be carried out, let alone a crime heart. He will not kill you, and he will not harm you. Go them while battling with that same lump in my throat. thoroughly investigated, what do you expect? back home and maintain peace, please; remember that God hates divorce, so you cannot leave your home and I did all I could until the kids walked into the church She is dead and gone but the killer is walking free, and, as children.” She left there feeling so dejected and scared, so with the nanny. Oh my goodness, now that lump had usual, he has custody of the children, whom he has passed she called her sister and told her what the pastor had said. melted into liquid, the floodgates were flung open, and on to his new wife. the tears started gushing out. It was not a very pleasant I tried to think about what could have been going on in sight as the choir leader could not continue the song. My heart has been bleeding ever since, because I know her head every day of her life, thinking that there is no that this is happening to so many women. Some are still safe haven. The man who swore to love and protect you This is to give you an insight into the kind of person alive today to tell their stories; some are afraid to cry out is the one who is killing you; the parents who gave you my friend was and the life she lived. She was extremely for help; some cover up when they are asked questions to him in marriage will tell you not to leave your home intelligent, kind, simple, and most of all was in love with about their black eye; some believe that there is no justice because it will bring shame upon the family. You are too God and His Word. for the abused woman because other cases they’ve heard ashamed even to let people know you are going through of have always favored the man; and, lastly, some are no domestic violence for fear of being stigmatized; you are Well, as I tried to calm down, he walked in—the husband. longer alive to speak up. not protected by law enforcement agents or the law, because some of them do the same thing to their wives. So I am sure by now you are thinking I would run to console As sad as this is, it is still happening even as I write. Now the only place you have left—the house of God—tells you him, since I was very close to her and he knew me. it has progressed to acid baths, body mutilation, and to go back to the place where you are being destroyed. Instead, I stood up and walked to the other side of the other unthinkable things. church and sat down. That was when I knew how much My heart broke and that was when I wept the most, because respect I had for the church and the dead. In anger, I stormed to the church we all attended and no one knows what she went through alone in that home. demanded to see the head pastor. When he came out, I If I could, I would have locked him up in the coffin so he screamed and yelled and people came into the church to So, I looked at this pastor and said, “I hope you are happy could go with her; after all, he put her there in the first place. hold me down. Please, do not think I disrespect men of now. I hope you are satisfied that she listened to you and God. Oh, far from it—in fact, I respect them so much got killed in the process.” We had all begged, prayed, complained, reported, and because without some of them who have mentored me, I fought, just to get him to stop beating her. I was tired of would not be the person I am today. I am not saying I support separation or women running seeing the black eye, the swollen face, and the bruised arms, out of their homes, but I insist that there must be and hearing about the constant headaches. It was so bad Truth of the matter is, my late friend’s sister told me temporary measures to take the woman to a safe place that I had to tell him that one day he would do something that a few days before she died, she had gone to meet until things can be resolved. She has to at least be alive really bad to his wife and end up behind bars. Little did I the pastor in fear because she had another fight with before any reconciliation can take place. know that the day in question was fast approaching. her husband, who told her he was ready to kill her and nothing would happen to him. He kept saying in pidgin continued on page 26 Page 25 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • March 2012

Power Prayer 1-2-3 O

swald Chambers said, “Prayer doesn’t equip us for greater works; prayer is the greater work!” Here’s how to get started:

• Ask God to forgive all your sins and offenses and everything you know does Hands Off My not please Him. Forgive Children those who have hurt you by Iris Delgado and offended you, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you overcome the offenses and the abuse. • Learn to use your keys of binding and loosing. Bind all anxiety, worry, stress, doubt, unbelief, impatience, fear, and so on. Make sure you loose God’s peace, love, strength, wisdom, knowledge, and understanding into your life and the person you may be praying for (Matthew 16:19). Declare that you have a sound mind; that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. • Enter into God’s presence with thanksgiving. Thank Him for everything you can think of. • Praise Him. Sing a Psalm or a song. • Declare: “I am your daughter/son, a daughter/son of Royalty. I thank you, Father, for this privilege. I declare that you are the only True Living God—the Most High God! Today I reverence you and acknowledge that without you I cannot make it. I need you. I love you. You are worthy to be exalted, worshipped, and adored. I magnify you, Father. I declare that Jesus, your only begotten Son, is the Savior, is Lord, is King, and He is coming soon. I declare that the resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in me and has set me free from darkness, iniquities, death, sickness, and disease. I believe that Christ sits on the throne interceding for me and my family and all of God’s children. I declare that the Blood of Jesus cleanses me and protects me. I apply the Blood of Jesus to my thoughts, my heart, and my body. • I acknowledge you, Holy Spirit, as my guide, my teacher, my friend, my advocate, my defender, and my support. This day, I declare that nothing is impossible for You, my God and Father. I declare that all things concerning me are in your hands and in your timeframe.

•

Put a muzzle on my mouth—not to say anything outside of your wisdom. Open my mouth with your wisdom and understanding and discernment, so that the person I counsel will be set free, transformed and enlightened and directed toward freedom and victory in Christ.

Stop being a victim. If you have been hurt by someone and are still carrying the pain and hurt, it is time to put a stop to it. As long as you insist on dwelling on and feeling the pain of abuse, hurt, divorce, trauma, negative words, an unkind parent, etc., you will never feel peace and victory in your life. You must release that thing—it is like a cancer that keeps eating away. Forgive the person or persons who hurt you. Release yourself and break the curse of bondage over your life.

Your powerful prayers will break yokes—bad habits, oppression, burdens, bondage, repression, addictions, etc. Some sound counsel: Don’t limit God. Don’t put Him in a box. Don’t ask Him for a little bit. Ask Him for a lot—for big things. Nothing is impossible for Him. Take responsibility. Be obedient to God’s Word. Do not slouch. Fill your heart with good things, and out of your mouth will come good things, good words, sound counsel, good ideas. What you put in will come out. What you sow, you will reap. You will never have abundance unless you are sowing all the time! The more you give, the more you will have. If you have little, check your giving habits. Sow into good ground. Give to the poor, to missions, to the needy. Give your tithe to the storehouse (where you get fed spiritually). Start with the little you may have and keep increasing. It’s a law— the law of sowing and reaping. Like the law of gravity, when it is set into motion, there is no stopping it. Never underestimate God.

The Holy Spirit is always watching and listening attentively to see how He can help you and respond • Thank you for wisdom, energy, vitality, discernment, to your needs. But He is only motivated and challenged resources, divine health, a smile, joy, comprehension, by God’s Word and obedience in you. The moment you listening and communication skills, compassion, mercy, declare God’s Word, as you walk in obedience, the Holy a kind word, a strong word, a challenging word, for all Spirit acts upon that word to perform it. those who come to me for counsel.

“A

nd did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed.” Malachi 2:15 (KJV)

in Israel (1 Samuel 3:11–14). Eli lost his children, daughter-in-law, and grandson in one day (I Samuel 4:12–21).

Godly Seed

Enough is Enough

Raising godly children in today’s world is increasingly difficult as moral decadence devours values in our society. Whether we like to admit it, satan is attacking the very A child that lives a fabric of family values through avenues of government committed Christian life Third Watch is a great blessing, and his and media. Children are bombarded daily with lies by Taiwo Ayeni or her parents should be dressed up as truth, but the Word of God remains the commended (Psalm 128:1– same on how to bring up our children. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not 4). Other parents, however, unknowingly raise children who profess lip service to Christianity but actually belong depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Therefore: to the devil in actions and doctrines, like the children of Teach (Deuteronomy 11:18–21). Eli. Let’s take a look at godless seed first. Always look for ways you can impart a godly lesson into your children’s lives. This will help them in their daily Godless Seed walk. (Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:6–7, 20–21; 11:19; Exodus Godless children have not been exposed to godly 10:2, 12:26–27, 13:14–15; Proverbs 1:8; Isaiah 38:19, standards in their homes. They freely choose their own lifestyles. They reject the Lord and are involved in godless Joel 1:3.) pursuits such as:

My question today is: What does the church do in cases like this? Is it saying that because of doctrines, women should remain there and die? Is it saying that apart from prayer there is no other way to help?

Occultism. Games and videos involving occultic spells and witchcraft; the Harry Potter series; Zodiac symbols; the Ouija Board; Tarot cards; fortune-telling; tattoos (Deuteronomy 18:10–12); etc.

I poured out my heart to the pastor and asked him a question directly without any apologies: “If your daughter came to you bruised every day, threatened and battered, would you tell her to go back there and pray? What if she does and gets killed? What would your reaction be? Will you be able to live with yourself?”

Ungodly music. This inspires rebellion, worldliness, sexual immorality, drug abuse, the occult, and blasphemy against God.

Set in motion God’s blessings! Loose yourself today! I Continue praying, stating your petitions, needs, was there years ago, but today I am free. It took a specific and wants. Be specific. Don’t just quote and ramble decision on my part. Once I said, “I forgive you, Dad,” repetitious, habitual, memorized prayers. Don’t pray I was free. The chains came off. Stop feeling sorry for bread-only prayers such as for shelter, job, car, and food. yourself and get over it! The best of your life is ahead of God knows you need these things, and He has promised you. Your children and your future children will inherit to provide them. your freedom and not the curses of abuse. Praise God! • Pray for kindness, mercy, creative ideas, power to destroy strongholds, power to pray for the sick and see them healed. Pray for boldness to speak God’s Word and put it into action. Pray for a sound mind. Pray for the ability to make good investments and have understanding of God’s Word. Pray fervently and with passion to invade and destroy the darkness in the life of a loved one. Pray for wisdom to make wise decisions. Pray that God will enlarge your tent (everything that concerns you). Pray to break the bondage of poverty. Pray to release yourself from curses and negative family attachments. Pray for others.

Raising Godly Seed

Dr. Iris Delgado is the founder and president of Crowned With Purpose Ministries. An author and speaker, Delgado travels and ministers with her husband, Dr. John Delgado. Iris Delgado is the author of Satan, You Can’t Have My Children!

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Then I calmed down and said God bless you, pastor, and thank you, I hope this means she will go to heaven. He could not utter a word, so I walked out. Call this ranting, lamenting, disrespectful, but one thing is for sure. We need answers; we need to shout it out loud; we need to educate women and let them know they can cry out for help. I can’t stress this enough, if you are going through any form of violence, especially domestic violence, you can get help. Please don’t die for nothing. This piece is dedicated to all the women who have lost their lives through domestic violence. May their souls rest in peace. • Stella Damasus-Aboderin is an award-winning Nigerian actress and singer who has starred in more than 50 films.

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Watching evil movies and godless shows. Shows such as The Jerry Springer Show, Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, and so on. Wrong friends. Because being popular is important to some parents, they allow their children to hang out with the wrong crowd. Sleepovers especially can be dangerous: Watch out! Liberal Christian teaching. Spiritual formation and sound Biblical doctrine are absent. Why do these parents allow their children to be exposed to such evil? Two reasons: First, they want them to “fit in.” They do not encourage them to stand up for the Lord Jesus Christ, because they think it would make the child feel different and suffer rejection. Second, they are hypocrites who pass their own immoral values to their children. The consequences of raising godless children are heavy. God’s judgment came on Eli the high priest and his children (I Samuel 2:30–34), who were called “Sons of Belial”: meaning a worthless, lawless person. Eli shirked his responsibility of raising godly seed; instead, he raised two evil boys who did much evil in their priestly positions

They do not encourage them to stand up for the Lord Jesus Christ, because they think it would make the child feel different and suffer rejection. Train. Train them to fit into God’s purpose for which He gave them to you. Training involves teaching, correction, and practicing what is taught until it becomes part of their lives. Do not spare the rod. (Proverbs 22:6, 15; 23:13–14; 19:18; 29:15.) Provide. Children have needs such as love, affection, discipline, and guidance; provide for them. When their needs are not met, it leads to developmental and growth problems as well as an inability to fit productively into society. (Matthew 7:9–11; 1 Samuel 2:19; Proverbs 31:15, 21; 2 Corinthians 12:14). Love. The greatest gift we can give to our children is to love them. Children need to know they are loved unconditionally just as God loves us unconditionally.

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Many children fear they will be kicked out or abandoned if they do not behave in ways that please their parents. Your children need to know that you love them, even when you as parents do not approve of some of their behaviors. (Titus 2:4; Genesis 37:3; 44:20; 44:29–31; Luke 15:20.) Show them Biblical examples. Your language at home and the respect you show each other as parents go a long way to influence your children. (Genesis 18:19.) Pray with and for them. Be firm on the practice of family prayer. Maintain it fervently and encourage them to have individual times of prayer. Encourage daily reading of the Bible together. Show them its importance in their lives. Let it not be only on Sunday and at weekly services. Watch the friends you keep and let them observe the standard. They must be godly friends. Do not leave the choices they make to them only. Help them see why some choices can harm them. Don’t be hypocritical about it; be firm and fair. Be interested in what they watch and read. Put Christian DVDs, materials, and books in their hands and discuss them. Be deliberate, consistent, and diligent in doing this. Do not succumb to pressure by allowing them to have what will destroy them. Reject immodest clothing, gadgets, films or books that reveal the flesh. Develop interest in what they like in order to vet or prune the grey areas of their choices. Some parents focus on meeting only some aspects of their children’s needs, but it is important to try to meet all of their needs as best as possible, both physical and spiritual. The result of failing to meet these needs can have grave consequences in the family. There is ample evidence in the world today that confirms that many children have needs that have not been met by their parents and guardians. It is even more tragic that this is a problem among Christians. When we meet the needs of our children, we witness to the world. • Taiwo Ayeni is president of Rehoboth Bible Ministries, Inc., in Grand Prairie, where he lives with his wife Abidemi and their son and daughter. You may contact him at taayeni@ rehobothministries.org.

Manna Live March 2012 10 Saturday Encounter Service The Prayer Room-DFW, 939 W. Pioneer Parkway, Arlington. 7pm. 817/299-8305 or info@ theprayerroomdfw.com. Come together for a time of worship, fellowship, and study about prayer. Every Saturday night. Straight Talk for Men Gospel Inspirational Fellowship Tabernacle (G.I.F.T.) Ministries, 300 Expedition Drive, Fort Worth. 817/246-9800. 9am. Designed to help men deal with todayís issues; hosted by Bishop Donald Hayes.

11 Sunday Annual G.I.F.T. Male Chorus Anniversary Gospel Inspirational Fellowship Tabernacle (G.I.F.T.) Ministries, 300 Expedition Drive, Fort Worth. 817/246-9800. 3pm. Male groups and soloists from the entire Dallas-Fort Worth area will perform. All are invited to come out and help us lift up the name of the Lord.

13 Tuesday Celebrate Recovery Step Study Covenant Church Carrollton Campus Life Centre, 2660 E. Trinity Mills Road, Carrollton. Tuesdays 7pm. 972-512-4461 or e-mail celebraterecovery@covenantchurch.org. Registration is required. Take off the mask that many of us wear to hide the pain and fear we carry inside while we struggle under the burden of hurts, habits and hang-ups. Women For Hire FREE Career Expo DoubleTree Hotel (near the Galleria), 4099 Valley View Lane, Dallas. 10am-2pm. 212/290-2600. Women For Hire returns to Dallas. Youíll have the opportunity to not only check out a wide variety of companies and jobs but also network with hundreds of other great women—from recent grads, to moms returning to the workforce, to seasoned professionals looking for something new. See http://womenforhire.com/career_expos/spring-2012/dallascareer-expo-march-13-2012/.

14 Wednesday Above Only Conference 2012—Total Breakthrough RCCG— House on the Rock, 4437 Matthew Road Grand Prairie. 7pm on March 14-16. 072/602-8959. High praises and intense worship, powerful teachings, prevailing prayers, fresh anointing, special impartation, deliverance and healing and total breakthrough. Speakers include Pastor O. J. Kuye, Pastor Leke Sanusi, Pastor Ropo Tusin, and more. See houseontherocktx.org.

16 Friday Monthly Prayer Night Vigil at RCCG-Christ Church DFW 817 W. Pioneer Parkway, Suite 122, Grand Prairie. 817/7175678. 10pm-1am. Celebrate Recovery Dinner and Open Share Covenant Church Carrollton Campus Life Centre, 2660 E. Trinity Mills Road, Carrollton. Fridays 6pm. 972-512-4461 or e-mail celebraterecovery@covenantchurch.org. Registration is required. Dinner and Open Share 6pm, $5. Meeting 7pm. Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered recovery program, will empower you to expose the weak and hurting areas of your life in an March 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 3 • Page 28

atmosphere of trust and support with a body of believers who have walked the same road.

17 Saturday St. Patrick’s Day Concert with Seventh Day Slumber McFarlin Auditorium at Southern Methodist University, 6405 Boaz Lane, Dallas. 7pm. Seventh Day Slumber and Jenn Petersen appear in concert. A special performance by Fenton F Troop will have you dancing!

19 Monday Ending Mass Incarceration: A Community Meeting Friendship West Baptist Church, 2020 W. Wheatland Road, Dallas. 972/228-5200. 7pm. Mass incarceration in Texas is tearing families and communities apart. Join us for a community discussion on mass incarceration and learn what you can do on a national and local level to keep our families and communities together. Speakers are Joy Strickland(Mothers Against Teen Violence), Alan Bean (Friends of Justice), Danielle Ayers (Friendship West Baptist Church), and Gislaine Williams (ACLU of Texas). Contact: Danielle Ayers, dayers@ friendshipwest.org, 972/228-5226.

24 Saturday A Viral Disease Affecting The Lives Of Our Children Fellowship of Joy, 303 W. Pioneer Parkway, Grand Prairie. 10am. 817/874-0932. Women of Purpose International invites you to their spring summit. Pastor Taiwo Ayeni, renowned deliverance pastor, author of several books, and MannaEXPRESS columnist, will be speaking on a viral disease affecting the lives of our children and how you can be a solution to this problem. See womenofpurposeinternational.org. Missions: Possible 2012 Missions Conference Redeemer Bible Church, 721 Easton Road, Dallas. Saturday, 7pm, and Sunday, 9:15am. 214/340-3633. Missions is possible for all of us! Two keynote speakers will challenge Christians to get out of their comfort zones: Celestin Musekura, president and founder of Dallas-based African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries, will speak Saturday, March 24, at 7pm, and Laci Kadar of Word of Life Hungary will speak Sunday morning at 9:15am. See redeemerbiblechurch.org. JOY Night Gospel Inspirational Fellowship Tabernacle (G.I.F.T.) Ministries, 300 Expedition Drive, Fort Worth. 7pm. 817/2469800. Guest Pastor Andrew Jackson and the West Irving COGIC will be present. Join us for the Word and worship. March Black Marriage Day Celebration and Couples Breakfast Friendship West Baptist Church, 2020 W. Wheatland Road, Dallas,. 9am-noon. 972/228-5200. Cost: $15 per couple. If you are married, engaged, or seriously dating, this marriage enrichment event is designed for you. Live in Texas Friendship West Baptist Church, 2020 W. Wheatland Road, Dallas. Doors open at 4pm. 972/228-5200. Night of Praise and rib-cracking comedy, featuring Julius Agwu and Seyi Brown. Cost: $25. Visit rainyevents.com. For more information, call Rainy, 214/777-2247 or 817/501-3565.

Celestin Musekura, president and founder of Dallas-based African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries and formerly a pastor in Rwanda, speaks at Redeemer Bible Church Saturday, March 24, 7pm.

21 Wednesday Neighborhood Legal Clinic Friendship West Baptist Church, 2020 W. Wheatland Road, Dallas. Intake begins at 5:30 p.m. 972/228-5200. The Dallas Volunteer Attorney Program (DVAP) will be present to provide individuals with legal advice and representation in a variety of civil matters at little to no cost.

22 Thursday

30 Friday Every Young Man’s Battle Young Men’s Conference The Body of Christ Assembly 5001 Crozier St., Dallas. 214/565-1708. Friday 6pm-10pm. Saturday 9am-12pm. Come with your questions about dealing with sexual temptations and get answers from what God says. Free. Visit bocasouthdallas.org. Women’s Ministry WE Weekend Prestonwood Baptist Church Worship Center, 6801 W. Park Boulevard, Plano. 5:30pm. Worship will be led by Laura Meadows and Jordan and Kayla Grizzard.

31 Saturday Girls Night Live Pantego Bible Church, 8001 Anderson The Fight Is On II Youth Explosion The Body of Christ Boulevard, Fort Worth. 7pm. 817/738-0607. Featuring Assembly, 5001 Crozier St., Dallas. 7pm. 214/565-1708. Come Mandisa, Anita Renfroe, and Jamie Grace. Tickets at enjoy a night of music, dance, and spoken word. Rock on! Visit girlsnightlive.com or 866/440-7880. Come for a music-filled bocasouthdallas.org. night that lifts your spirits, connects you on a deeper level, and reminds you that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. Tweet at #GIRLSNIGHTLIVE.

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