Tamariki, he mea homai na te Ihowa _

Tamariki are the most precious koha Ihowā has given us in this life.

But hang on, is that right you might ask? What about the koha of salvation that he offers us through Ihu Karaiti?

Certainly salvation is the greatest and most costly koha. The salvation koha is an incomparable koha - it is Ihowā offering us eternal life through Ihu Karaiti.

The similarities are there, but the differences between the two koha are incredibly great.

Koha of Salvation - Ihowā ensures our birth into His whānau is secure for all eternity. Koha of Tamariki - We can only take care of our tamariki for today with no guarantees for tomorrow.

Koha of Salvation - We don’t work for the koha from Ihowā. It is a koha of grace to all those who accept His offer of salvation. Koha of Tamariki - Our tamariki, although a koha from Ihowā, are a lot of mahi.

Koha of Salvation - Ihowā ensures that every tamaiti of his makes it to heaven. This is His promise to all who are in His whānau.

Koha of Tamariki - There is no guarantee we can make for our tamariki, for we have no control over the future.

With the koha of tamariki, it is parents who have the responsibility to grow them up and handle all the trials and disappointments along the way. In the last Tupu Whakarangi magazine we explained a few vitally important truths about growing our tamariki - namely, the importance of loving, guiding and teaching our tamariki.

Here are two more important concepts that should be a part of growing our tamariki.

TEACH YOUR TAMARIKI TO HONOUR YOU, THEIR PARENTS

Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians “to honour your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise).

Respect of parents is vitally important. Tamariki will not automatically honour their parents and need to be taught how. Honouring parents is necessary as it flows onto honouring their teachers, their bosses and living as respectable people in society.

Honouring others starts at home. When honour is not taught and our tamariki are left to work out their own standards, their path in society will be hard.

Honour means to respect and consider others as more important than their own selves. It means learning to obey those in authority.

The self-centeredness that stops a tamaiti honouring others is the same self-centeredness that drives friends and acquaintances away.

It is vital parents teach their tamariki how to show honour. To do this, teach your tamariki from the wisdom of the Paipera Tapu. The book of Proverbs is an excellent book to teach your tamariki.

Practice Consistent Standards

Again in Ephesians, Paul gives some excellent counsel from Ihowā. He writes to fathers, “do not provoke your tamariki to anger”.

Epeha 6:4

As fathers, we can frustrate our tamariki so they become angry, discouraged, and at times give up hope. Here are some ways to make sure we never fall into that situation.

1. Be Consistent with Rules

Our tamariki are frequently testing the boundaries. They can pester to get what they want until we give in to their request. We are now teaching them not to take “no” for an answer, that rules and standards can easily be shifted, and that guardians can be manipulated.

So what happens? The next day they ask for something that you have already said no to, and they ask again and again and again. If we are tired or stressed we can angrily yell “I said NO! You are grounded for not taking no for an answer!” That is a huge provocation to anger for the tamaiti, and is inconsistent with how we operated previously. The tamaiti is confused, uncertain and discouraged.

It is important we are consistent with our rules. This gives clear boundaries for the tamaiti to learn respect and obedience.

2. Be Consistent – Walk the Talk

It is vital that we live what we teach our tamariki. If we teach our tamariki godly standards but do not practice those same standards, that is hypocrisy. Tamariki will ignore everything we try to teach them if they do not see us living out the same morals and standards we are teaching.

3. Be Consistent in your Encouragement

Tamariki are provoked by discouragement and tamariki never complimented or encouraged by their parents are destined for trouble. Those who are always told what is wrong with them and never what is right, soon lose hope and become convinced they are incapable of doing anything right. They long for and thrive on encouragement from Māma and Pāpa.

Encouragement is necessary for their mental and spiritual growth, and can turn the manawa of a tamaiti to Ihowā.

4. Be Consistent in Keeping Promises

We have all broken promises. We have seen the tears, the pouri face and the distrust that arises when we break promises, and often we make greater promises to try and make up for it … sometimes only to break those also. Broken promises are a huge provocation to anger and discouragement.

When we break promises, we teach our tamariki they can’t trust us and so when we teach the promises that Ihowā makes, they put Ihowā in that same untrustworthy box.

This can have eternal consequences. Ihu Karaiti promises eternal life to all those who trust in Him. He promises to never leave us or depart from us through life. He promises to seek our good in everything and always be on our side. Those promises are eternal and life changing.

Every parent would desire their tamaiti to believe Ihowā. It is important that we keep our promises so as to teach our tamariki how to trust Ihowā.

Next issue we will look at how to instruct our tamariki from the Paipera Tapu.

Article by Russell Hohneck