Something to Celebrate
Your Garden
Chamber of Commerce announces community awards – Pages 4 - 8
Vol. 18 No. 5
How to revive your gardening tools – Inside
COMMUNITY NEWS
Serving Stayton, Sublimity, Aumsville, Lyons & Mehama
May 2021
State soccer champions – Page 16
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Contents
8
Something to Celebrate Mike & Steffani Klein, Philanthropic Champions......................4 Deana Freres, Distinguished Service Award.................5 Covered Bridge Café, Small Business Award...........................6
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Civics 101 HUD grant to fund affordable housing in downtown Stayton......................... 10
Your Garden................. Inside The Forum..............................11
Marketplace.......................18
Passages.................................13
On the Cover
Datebook................................14 Sports & Recreation
The Stayton boys soccer team after the Eagles downed Phoenix 4-1 on April 10 to win the Class 4A state title. SUBMITTED PHOTO
Stayton boys soccer take state title........16
Above
A Grin At The End...........18
Rising Star Award recipient Jordan Ohrt and her family. SUBMITTED PHOTO
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May 2021 • 3
Something to Celebrate
Philanthropic Champions By Mary Owen
The Kleins are avid financial supporters of many local nonprofits, including Family Building Blocks, Liberty House, Santiam Teen Center, Regis auctions, Sublimity School auctions, Santiam Youth Sports, Covered Bridge Café Community Dinner and many other charities and events.
A Stayton couple has gone above and beyond to serve their community, earning the title of 2020 Philanthropic Champion from the Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. Nominators called Mike and Steffani Klein “selfless servants” who “truly love their community and walk alongside those hurting by financially supporting the efforts of our neighbors, our businesses and our nonprofits.” “We feel very honored and so much appreciate it,” Mike Klein said of the award. “It was completely unexpected as we usually like to help others as quietly as possible!” The Philanthropic Champion is given to “an individual, business or organization that seeks to support the welfare of our region through a posture of financial generosity, resulting in a lasting, positive impact on our communities.” The Kleins own Cascade Floors, Inc.,
Kleins honored for selfless service
“We also support local businesses with our business and tried to help as much as we could for the COVID relief efforts as they have come before us with the Chamber of Commerce,” Mike said.
Steffani and Mike Klein.
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Julie Hilty, director of business partnerships for Family Building Blocks, said the Kleins “have enriched our community by walking alongside others by being present, volunteering their time, and financially partnering with a number of civic groups, businesses and nonprofits in the Santiam Canyon.” According to Rotarian Jennifer Tiger, last May when the COVID-19 shutdown started to affect local businesses, Stayton Area Rotary partnered with the chamber to create a Small Business Relief Fund.
WE SERVICE ALL BRANDS
“Rotary contributed the first $15,000, and we asked the community for matching donations,” Tiger said. “Within hours of announcing the creation of the fund, Mike and Steffani Klein very generously offered to match all contributions. As a result, the Chamber/ Rotary Small Business Relief was able to give over $90,000 to businesses struggling to comply with new governmental regulations. Currently, the Kleins are helping with the benefit dinner/auction “The Heart of the Canyon,” on Aug. 28 to raise money for the Santiam Canyon Wildfire Relief Fund and the Detroit Lake Foundation. To motivate others, Steffani said, “Get connected and put yourself in the mix of things needing done and others needing help.” “Just remember as you all have heard a million times, we are all in this together, so let’s have each others backs in times of need,” she said.
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Distinguished Service By Melissa Wagoner “Deana is the kind of person who doesn’t like fanfare or attention,” Carmélle Bielenberg, the president and CEO of the Stayton Sublimity Chamber, said of Deana Freres. Freres is the recipient of the Distinguished Service Award for 2020. “She doesn’t get involved in causes because it adds to her resume or because she might be recognized for her contributions. On the contrary, she advocates, volunteers and fundraises because she has a beautiful heart and is passionate about loving people. She is one of the most humble people I’ve ever had the privilege to know.” So humble that, when Bielenberg – who notifies recipients of their awards – called to tell Freres she had won, Freres tried to talk her into giving the award to someone else. “[H]er first reaction was to start sharing the names of others she felt were more deserving,” Bielenberg said. Because Freres, who sits on a host of boards – including the Stayton Public
Library, Family Building Blocks and the Oregon Community Foundation as well as volunteering for the Santiam Wildfire Relief Fund, the Santiam Teen Center and the YMCA, to name just a few – doesn’t see her contribution as being more deserving of recognition than the countless other volunteers with whom she serves. She just feels grateful.
Deana Freres’ work includes wildfire relief for families with children. “I didn’t know anyone and I was looking for something that was meaningful,” Freres said of her original position as classroom assistant. That later developed into an organization-wide passion. “I really appreciate their mission of working with kids and families and getting in early.”
Deana Freres. MELISSA WAGONER
“I’m humbled,” she admitted, “after a year like 2020 when so many people have worked so hard…” Originally from Texas, Freres moved to Stayton with her husband Tyler – who grew up in the area – 14 years ago. Raising two sons, currently aged 12 and 14, Freres began her foray into community volunteerism at Family Building Blocks, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing safety and support
Family Building Blocks appreciates Freres as well. “She has been a constant voice for children in the Canyon specifically, and helped us gain momentum to establish our relief nursery site, Doris’s Place, in Stayton,” Executive Director Patrice Altenhofen said. “Deana’s commitment to strengthening families is awe-inspiring. Her keen business-sense paired with her generosity, grace, and wicked sense of humor make her a true community leader. She gives selflessly to others, and encourages others to do so as well.”
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Instrumental in establishing the Santiam Canyon Wildfire Relief Fund, which has raised over $3 million to provide ongoing support for those impacted by the fires, Freres sees each need within her community as one more way to say yes – something she views as a personal talent. Others view it that way as well. “Deana Freres was instrumental to the beginnings of the Santiam Canyon Wildfire Relief Fund,” Maggie Hudson, Santiam Hospital President and CEO said. “She brought Santiam Hospital and the Santiam Service Integration Team into the forefront of the efforts. And for that and all of her tremendous efforts, the Santiam Canyon region is entirely grateful to Deana.”
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In March of 2021, there were 23 residential home sales under ½ acre in Stayton, Sublimity, Aumsville, Lyons & Mehama that had a median price of $380,000. The sold price per square foot of those 23 homes was $236 which is a 21% increase from March 2020.
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“I really enjoy learning from all those people,” she admitted. “I feel blessed to have the space carved out in our life to focus on things outside of ourselves.”
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Something to Celebrate
Small Business Award
By Melissa Wagoner
A la year w ofApandemic y S Aclosures, c c ea wildfire ptiNg After evacuation and an ice storm, the Covered ANd All typeS oF Bridge Café has kept a steady hand. Now it is being awarded the 2020 Small Business Award by the Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. “Despite all odds, they embody what it means to be an overcomer,” Carmélle Bielenberg, the president and CEO of the chamber explained. “Covered Bridge LanceasLarge, Hanhlocal Ramirez, Cafe stands an exampleKelly to other businesses of and MDresilience, innovationPA-C community service.”
Covered Bridge Café keeps on giving During the Labor Day wildfires, Sessums directed her staff to give free meals and $100 gift certificates to those customers most affected.
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With COVID-19 restrictions putting a halt to indoor dining during November, Sessums still found a way to give out 1,678 free dinners.
Fife, Carl WMELISSA Leder,WAGONER The Maria Covered Bridge Café team. FNP-BC
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Sessums feared she would lose everything she’d worked for during the past 14 years.
That was true, even before the pandemic. “The first shut down created some Over the years, owner Cari Sessums has difficulties between my business partner and volunteered with the Marion County I,” Sessums recalled. “So, I sat in this empty Sheriff’s Office, Narcotic’s Treatment Anonymous, andof Chronic Illness dining room and prayed.” supported youth athletics and local charities. And the Covered Bridge such Café provides a as Diabetes/Hypertension Sessums was seeking was the answer to a free pre-Thanksgiving meal – held each year she take out the bank on the Wednesday before ThanksgivingCare – Preventative •question Sports– should Medicine loan required to buy out her partner during for the community at large. a time when she was almost guaranteed to Pediatrics • Geriatrics • Womens’ Health Care have no income? That’s when a man walked When COVID-19 restrictions shut down all restaurants in March 2020, owner Cari in thatAssisted changed herWeight life. FirstLine Therapy™ (Physician Loss)
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“He said, ‘I heard your business partner left. Why don’t you buy her out?’ And he slid a check across the table. It was $20,000,” Sessums recalled. “He said, ‘God has blessed me and we love this restaurant and seeing you here with your daughter.’” Shocked, Sessums thought to refuse. But the man insisted, explaining she could pay him back once the pandemic was through. “I said, ‘What if I don’t make it?’” Sessums remembered. “He said, ‘You’ll make it.’”
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Students who no longer had access to school-based meals and the linemen and arborists working during the February ice storm also have been the beneficiaries of Covered Bridge generosity. “My core values are based on the community, ” Sessums explained. “The Covered Bridge Cafe is a special place where good food, good service and pleasant atmosphere meet to create an experience you want to make a tradition,” Marion County Sheriff Joe Kast wrote. “Top it off with great people who are truly committed to creating a place where everyone is welcome, and you’ve got something worth raving about. It’s no surprise they’re being recognized with this award.”
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Large Business Award
SCTC’s community support recognized again
By Mary Owen
economic vitality of the community.
SCTC, the Stayton Cooperative Telephone Co., has been named the 2020 Large Business of the Year award winner by the Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce.
“As the current president of SCTC, I know that it is our employees who have done the work to get us this award,” Hoefer said. “We have a talented group of dedicated individuals with an impressive amount of experience in the telecommunications industry. These individuals treat our customers the way they want to be treated. All of us at SCTC are continually looking for ways to help our customers have the best experience when using our services or interacting with our organization.”
SCTC also was recognized for contributions to the community in 1997 and 2012. “It is an honor to receive this award and recognition,” said Erik Hoefer, SCTC president. “This past year has been difficult in many ways for the community. The pandemic has changed the way we live and operate our businesses. SCTC has worked very hard to make sure we are providing the services our customers need in a safe and timely manner. Safely interacting with our customers has been at the forefront of our operation for the past year.” Large Business of the Year honors are awarded to a local business having 15 or more employees that provides excellence in products or services, customer service, and is a positive contributor to the local
SCTC started in 1955 with a vision to improve the quality of life and prosperity of its members and customers by providing communication services that are reliable, reasonably priced and tailored to meet customer needs, Hoefer said. SCTC is the area’s local provider for telephone and Internet services, employing 30 people of which 80 percent live in the communities the company serves. SCTC provides high speed Internet,
enhanced telephone, long distance and security services in the Stayton/Sublimity area. Its customers are also its owners and share in the net margins of the company. “SCTC’s community support starts with our board of directors,” Hoefer said. “Our board members live and work in the area. Giving back to the community is a high priority.” Hoefer said SCTC supports a wide variety of local organizations, schools, charities, and events each year, including the chamber, the Santiam Senior Center and many other local entities. The list of organizations the company supports is available at sctcweb.com. “SCTC is both wonderful as a customer and as a community partner,” said Steve Poisson, president of Revitalize Downtown Stayton. “They truly embody the ‘smalltown mentality’ while being a large utility.” SCTC pitches in to help the city by putting up and taking down banners and flower baskets, providing discounted space for the senior center and chamber, and by
sponsoring local events. City Councilor Paige Hook said Stayton is fortunate to have “such a wonderful business.” “SCTC his been a caring community partner for a long time,” Hook said. “Our canyon has been through a lot this last year, and SCTC has gone above and beyond to help get us through a little easier.” As an example, Hook shared how SCTC provided free Wi-Fi hotspots from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. in the library and community center parking lots. Of future steps to better serve consumers, Hoefer said, “SCTC is continuing to build out our fiber to the home network so that we can offer the latest services to all of our customers.” Hoefer encourages everyone to practice kindness and help others when opportunities arise. “Being kind to people you meet does not cost a thing,” he said.
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May 2021 • 7
Something to Celebrate
Rising Star By Mary Owen Earning the title of 2020 Rising Star is Stayton City Councilor Jordan Ohrt.
“I am kind of a ‘Jill of all trades’ as it were,” said Ohrt, a mom of two who also helps her husband run their residential construction company, Hunts and Hanks Construction Co., LLC, and is also a Realtor with John L Scott Real Estate in Salem. The award will formally presented by the Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce May 20. Ohrt was elected to the Stayton City Council in 2019. She spent a lot of time at the State Capitol when it was open, and now advocates online for the community and rural value, and ownership by submitting oral and written testimony and meeting with legislators. “I am humbled that others in the community value my voice and recognize the work I am doing for the community,” she said. “Sometimes it feels unseen, but
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“She is passionate about standing up for issues regardless of the loudest voice and works diligently on behalf of those who Ohrt ran for city council to have an opinion but no make a difference. outlet to voice it,” they “I was tired of watching agreed. “She is a true from the sidelines,” she servant leader who is said. “I knew if I didn’t interested in collaboration do it, I couldn’t complain and working together for about how others did it a common good, which if I wasn’t willing to get Jordan Ohrt. SUBMITTED PHOTO outweighs individual involved.” opinions or divisive politics. She values everyone’s opinion and treats Ohrt also participates with Revitalize people with respect regardless.” Downtown Stayton and is an active participant in Oregon’s legislative process, Fellow councilor David Patty said speaking on behalf of “constituents on Ohrt “exemplifies public service in our issues affecting the broader community,” community. She consistently elevates according to the Stayton Sublimity voices who may go unheard due to virtual Chamber of Commerce. meetings.” Nominators called Ohrt a person that Councilor Paige Hook credits Ohrt for “cares for her community, not only to being an advocate for Stayton’s pool, make a name for herself, but to truly parks and library. serve and work for the benefit of our community. “She’s been involved in local events with
Revitalize Downtown Stayton. She was there for the founding meetings for getting youth sports going after they disappeared with the YMCA leaving the community. She’s active in local and state politics where she testifies in committee hearings. And she’s an elected precinct committee person for her party,” said Hook, who nominated Ohrt for council president because of her ability to listen to people regardless of her personal stance on an issue. The Rising Star (Young Professional of the Year) goes to an entrepreneur or employee, age 40 or younger, who works and/or resides in the region, and exemplifies professionalism, leadership, service and/or dedication to his or her field, company, or the community. “We all have our strengths, our competitive advantages that if put together can make a world of difference,” Ohrt said. “It can be small. It doesn’t have to be a big thing or a long commitment... Many hands make light work!”
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Added value By Mary Owen
The city of Stayton was one of three cities recently chosen to share a $1.5 million HUD grant through its HOPE VI Main Street program to help build affordable housing. Stayton’s cut of $500,000 will facilitate the development of residential units in the Diedrich building and in the former Jensen-Krietzer department store. The renovation of these two buildings is the result of a long-term effort to revitalize the historic North Third Avenue corridor that came together when the city council adopted a plan in 2007 to revitalize the downtown area. “This will provide an increase of more than 50 percent in the number of apartments on Third Avenue in downtown,” said Dan Fleishman, planning and development director for the city. “By my count there are only 12 second-story apartments in seven buildings on Third Avenue. One of the strategies in the 2007 Downtown Revitalization plan was to increase the number of people living in downtown to increase its economic vitality.”
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“Providing affordable housing and increasing economic opportunities are what Main Street funding is all about,” said HUD Secretary Marcia Fudge. “Partnering with our local communities to renovate and rebuild neighborhoods like those in Kit Carson, El Cerrito and Stayton helps to revitalize smaller cities and towns into thriving and sustainable communities.” Fleishman said funding will provide the capital necessary for owners Gregg Olson and Linda Whitehead, to finish the second-story apartments in the Diedrich Building, which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Olson and Whitehead have been renovating the building, concentrating on the commercial spaces on the first floor. Their façade improvements resulted in their being awarded recognition in 2018 from the Oregon Main Street Program, according to Fleishman. The other two-story building to receive funding is
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HUD provides funding for downtown affordable housing also on Third Avenue and was the home of the city’s anchor department store for decades before closing following the owners’ retirement after the recession of 2008, he said. The Jensen-Krietzer building sat vacant for several years until purchased by Jon and Teri Mesa, who renovated both the first-floor commercial space and some of the six apartments on the second floor. The ground level is now Marketplace at the Grove, a “mall” of several small retail spaces, an art gallery, and a clothing/gift shop. The Mesas have renovated four of the six apartments on the second floor but have not had the capital to complete the remaining two, according to the grant application. Fleishman said Stayton’s HOPE VI Main Street Grant will provide financing to renovate the vacant, apartments on the second floor of these two buildings into seven affordable housing units. Of the grant amount received, $375,000 is budgeted for the Deidrich Building project with the remaining $125,000 going to the Jensen-Krietzer building project. Cost estimates for the Deidrich Building include
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carpentry, plumbing, wiring, wall board, floors and kitchen and bath cabinetry and appliances, as well as architectural plan preparation and project management. The Jensen-Krietzer allocation will provide funding for plumbing, electrical, kitchen and bath cabinetry, appliances, insulation and heat pumps. “RDS is pleased that the city and building owners were able to build on our previous Facade Improvement Grant to continue the revitalization of our Historic Downtown,” said Steve Poisson, president of Revitalize Downtown Stayton. “I think that housing in the district will add to the overall assets that are there, and without matching funds required it makes the projects much more affordable for both building owners. They have both been working on their buildings for several years and hopefully, this will allow them to complete their projects.” Poisson said the HUD grant fits into RDS’s overall goals. “It is through these partnerships that major change becomes possible,” he said.
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Support for pool, library levies I encourage community members to please vote yes in support of the Library Levy, Measure 24-457 and the Pool & Parks Levy, Measure 24-458 in the upcoming May 18th election. A vibrant community is reflected in its people and through its community services. Community services in support of education, safety, health and well-being are welcomed in Stayton and deserve your vote of support. Thank you, Terry Fletchall, President & CEO Santiam Hospital / Retired
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May 2021 • 11
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MAY 2021
VOL. 11, ISSUE 2
Organic Gardening
By Brenna Wiegand
The fresh breezes and birdsong of May ring in the major planting time for Mid-Willamette Valley vegetable gardeners.
We now have the green light on planting all but the warm season crops; wait until late May before planting bean, corn, cucumber and melon seeds or putting out transplants of peppers, squash, eggplant and tomatoes. While each little 3-by-4-inch seed packet carries a wealth of information for growing that particular plant, they fail to address perhaps the most burning question on gardeners’ minds these days. While the benefits of growing organically are well known, doing so in one’s own backyard can seem a daunting task. Sure, it’s all well and good until slugs wipe out my basil transplants or the squash is inundated with whitefly! You cannot deny the visible boost my plants get from a little shot of fertilizer... And how in the world am I
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supposed to clear a 100-square-foot patch of weeds so I can plant my vegetables – in just a couple of weeks?
Enter the art of composting – through the kitchen window.
The answers lay in baby steps. Like Rome, no organic gardener was built in a day. Rather, pursuing an allnatural approach is a lifetime journey of discovery fraught with both triumphs and failures.
A compost pile or bin will take your kitchen scraps like moldy bread and banana peels; lawn clippings and shredded leaves; dryer lint, coffee grounds and paper, spinning “black gold” from a real bunch of straw. Did you know that 30 to 50 percent of all household waste is compostable? Composting is a world unto itself that we will likely explore further in these pages to come. Do not expect instant results, but with a little help on your part, as devotees say, “Compost Happens.” It just does.
Organic gardening starts from the ground up – literally. The more complete the soil, the fewer synthetic amendments are required; the greater the health of its plants and the nutrition they supply. Rather than “treat the symptom rather than the disease,” focus on providing your soil with what it needs to become its own ecosystem: a culture where microbes churn away; worms happily create networks of aerating tunnels; good insects feast on weeds seeds and bad bugs and where beneficial fungi form a symbiotic relationship with plant roots. What a beautiful symphony!
Your Garden
People often sour on organics for lack of immediate results. It is true: synthetic fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides get the job in short order. At the first sign of trouble, count on pesticides to eradicate the little buggers in short order... But they cut a wide swath,
May 2021 • 1
ORGANIC
continued from page 1
devastating countless other helpful critters in their wake. Rather, nature is a slow building-up and breaking-down – a dance demanding of its participants focus, observation – and patience. It helps to look ahead… • To healthier plants that naturally crowd out the weeds and are better equipped to fight off bug and disease attacks; • To delightful new visitors: butterflies, dragonflies, songbirds, ladybugs, praying mantis and others who serve as bouncers to your unwanted guests; and, • To eating vegetables that are free of chemicals – or becoming so by degrees. • To using less water since your soil will become better able to retain moisture. Some simple efforts, such as keeping your garden clean of debris, having well-drained soil and proper watering will eradicate a lot of disease. However, the plethora of organic products and approaches in the here and now can be both baffling and conflicting – is it worth the trouble? No matter what, bad insects and weeds will never be fully under control, and it is up to you to seek out and test specific techniques for dealing with particular problems.
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Do not trust every homemade remedy you hear or read about; such concoctions are sometimes geared less toward a holistic organic approach than as a means of saving money. Garlic oil concoctions, like many synthetic herbicides, are non-selective, meaning they kill beneficial insects – like ladybugs, natural predators of aphids – just as easily as it does the others. Homemade vinegar and salt herbicide sprays can do more damage to the microbes in your soil than chemical fertilizers. Many times the answer can be as simple as taking a spray bottle of water to a gang of aphids or stalking the garden at dusk, plucking bugs from plants and dropping them into a container of soapy water.
Hanging Baskets Annuals Perennials Trees & Shrubs Garden Accessories Gifts & Home Décor Patio Furniture Apparel
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Publisher PAULA MABRY
GRESHAM 7505 SE Hogan Rd, 97080
2 • May 2021
You may choose to experiment with some of the intriguing, old-fashioned methods like companion planting, crop rotation and even planting by the phases of the moon. The better attuned to the rhythms of nature in your garden, you will start noticing the way of things. You will be the first to know that cabbage moths are scouting your seedlings – and have the presence of mind to run down to the fabric store for some cheap tulle with which to drape them!
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Making a move like this comes by degrees and with choices, both big and small. Whatever you’re practices are now, there are always more facets of organic gardening to explore; untold ways to further your garden’s health and healing. For instance, how to attract beneficial insects and songbirds and which plants (like marigolds) help repel harmful insects, There are always more ways to cooperate with the natural renewal process of nature.
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If you neglected properly cleaning and storing your garden tools last year, it’s not too late. Halt corrosion, dry, splintery handles and dullness by taking a little time to care for these faithful gardening friends. Remove all soil from metal surfaces: after a stream of water from the hose, remove small soil particles and rust spots with sandpaper, steel wool... whatever is called for. Check all nuts, bolts and screws to be sure they are tight and in top working order. Replace worn or rusty ones. Sharpen the cutting edges of hoes, shovels, pruners, etc., with a file, stone or grinding wheel Wipe all metal parts with an oily rag to help protect from dust and rust and lubricate moving parts. Wash and dry wooden handles; use a wire brush and sand well (preventing slivers) before painting with raw linseed oil (or what’s on hand: motor oil, lamp oil or cooking oil). Let it sit overnight;
keep applying until it feels oily then wipe dry. Some prefer treating them with an exterior varnish. Replace weak and broken handles. Try to store your tools off the floor, preferably on a rack or hanging by nails. You can fill a 5-gallon bucket with sand and oil to dip tools in after each use. Consider putting an identification mark on all tool handles, brightly colored in case you misplace it in your own garden. Gather hoses and nozzles for cleaning and repair; don’t forget new washers. Make sure the lawnmower is tuned up and ready to go. Clean out all matted grass above and below. Remove rotary blades and have them sharpened. If you didn’t do so last fall, drain the oil from the crankcase and refill it immediately. Check the spark plug, cleaning or replacing it as needed. Oil any moving parts and completely wipe the machine down with an oily rag.
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Your Garden
May 2021 • 3
OSU Gardener’s May Chores
in beans and lettuce, maggot in radishes. Control can involve hand removal, placing barrier screen over newly planted rows, or spraying or dusting with registered pesticides, labeled for use on the problem plant. Read and follow label directions when using insecticides.
PLAN & PREPARE Prepare and prime irrigation system for summer. Place pheromone traps in apple trees to detect presence of codling moth. Plan a control program of sprays, baits, or predators if found.
Tiny holes in foliage and shiny, black beetles on tomato, beets, radishes, and potato indicate flea beetle attack. Treat with Neem, tBt-s, or use nematodes for larvae. Read and follow label directions when using insecticides.
If needed, fertilize rhododendrons and azaleas with acid-type fertilizer. If established and healthy, their nutrient needs should be minimal. Remove spent blossoms. PLANT Plant dahlias, gladioli, and tuberous begonias in mid-May. Plant chrysanthemums for fall color. When selecting new roses, choose plants labeled for resistance to diseases. Fertilize roses and control rose diseases such as mildew with a registered fungicide. Plant most vegetables now; check with local gardeners. Use a soil thermometer to help you know when to plant vegetables. Wait until the soil is consistently above 70 degrees F to plant tomatoes, squash, melons, peppers and eggplant.
Prevent root maggots when planting cole crops (cabbage, broccoli, collards and kale), by covering with row covers or screens, or by applying appropriate insecticides. PUT PESTS OUT Manage weeds while small and actively growing with light cultivation or
herbicides. Once the weed has gone to bud, herbicides are less effective. Trap moles and gophers as new mounds appear. Leaf-rolling worms may affect apples and blueberries. Prune off and destroy affected leaves. Monitor aphids on strawberries and ornamentals. If present, control options include washing off with water, hand removal, or using registered insecticides labeled for the problem plant. Follow all label directions. Promoting natural enemies (predators and parasitoids that eat or kill insects) is a longer-term solution for insect control in gardens.
Monitor rhododendrons, azaleas, primroses and other broadleaf ornamentals for adult root weevils. Look for fresh evidence of feeding (notching at leaf edges). Try sticky trap products on plant trunks to trap adult weevils. Protect against damaging the bark by applying the sticky material on a 4-inch wide band of poly sheeting or burlap wrapped around the trunk. Mark plants now and supply beneficial nematodes when soil temps are above 55 degrees F. If root weevils are a consistent problem, consider removing plants and choosing weevil-resistant varieties. Control slugs with bait or traps and by removing or mowing vegetation near garden plots.
Spittlebugs may appear on ornamental plants as foam on stems. In most cases, they don’t require management. If desired, wash off with water or use insecticidal soap as a contact spray. Read and follow label directions.
Oregon State University Extension Service encourages sustainable gardening practices. Always identify and monitor problems before acting. First, consider cultural controls; then physical, biological and chemical controls (which include insecticidal soaps, horticultural oils, botanical insecticides, organic and synthetic pesticides). Always consider the least-toxic approach first.
Control cabbageworms in cabbage and cauliflower, 12-spotted cucumber beetle
Recommendations in this calendar are applicable to Oregon’s Willamette Valley.
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Your Garden
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Passages
Bill Whitney
June 10, 1931 – April 5, 2021
Bill Whitney passed away at Salem Hospital on April 5, 2021. He was preceded in death by wife June (Hampton) Whitney; parents, William and Oletha Whitney; brothers, Jack, Archie, and Harold; and sister, Margie. He is survived by sister, Judy (Neal) Irving; children, Joe (Cindy) Whitney, Susan (Randy) Budlong, Rita (Terry) Lockrem, Rosie (Verlyn) Aerni, and Cindy (Max) Bilyeu. He is also survived by numerous grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. Bill was born on June 10, 1931 in Prosser, Washington. When he was a boy, he realized that strawberries were in season on his birthday. His mom started making strawberry shortcake for him every year. This tradition continued throughout his entire life. Bill also made his mother’s recipe of homemade noodles with chicken for the family to enjoy on his birthday
each year. Bill grew up on a farm which cemented his love for animals. He would later work on a dairy but had many other jobs throughout the years. He was a logger, a construction worker, and a cookware salesman. He drove an ice cream truck and owned a small Shake Mill business. He also had a trampoline business, The business he loved the most was his Christmas tree business. He sold trees in and around Palm Desert, California for over 60 years. About five years ago, while working on his tree farm, he had a stroke. His kids took 24 hour shifts for four years, caring for him in his home. On year five, his health deteriorated further. He then moved into the long term care facility at Tierra Rose in Salem. He passed away just two months shy of his 90th birthday. We were looking forward to having his traditional strawberry shortcake and homemade noodles.
Gladys Van Handel Shankle
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Gladys Magdalen Van Handel Shankle, 85, passed away March 6, 2021. She was born on May 13, 1935 to Joseph and Magdalen Van Handel of Stayton, Oregon. Gladys is preceded in death by her parents, her husband Frank, twin brother Nestor, sister Mary Van Handel and her sister-inlaw Linda. Gladys is a graduate of Saint Boniface in Sublimity, Oregon.
Glenn has personally served the community for over 30 years. Glenn has personally served the community for over 29 years. – Locally-owned and owner-operated funeral home –
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Officehours: hours:Mon Mon -- Fri Sat9-5 9-5••2424hour houravailability availability• •www.santiamfuneral.com www.santiamfuneral.com••nsantiamfs@wvi.com nsantiamfs@wvi.com Office
Gladys moved to Seattle, Washington in the 1950s and worked as a commercial artist for FlowerCraft. She married Frank W. Shankle and together they had one child, daughter Ann Marie. Gladys was a lifelong opera season ticket holder. She loved gardening, reading, cooking, spending time with family and her dog. Gladys is survived by her daughter Ann (Derrick), granddaughter Ella, brothers Urban and Pete (Tina) Van Handel. Gladys loved her many nieces and nephews and her lifelong best friend Joyce Lee Eng. Due to COVID-19, a Celebration of Life event will be held at a later date in Stayton, Oregon. Facebook.com: OurTown / Santiam
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May 2021 • 13
datebook Datebook Submission Information Get your events and fundraisers published in Our Town. If your ongoing event was postponed because of COVID-19 and is starting up again, please send a new listing. If you are meeting by Zoom or virtually, send those, too. Send your releases to datebook@mtangelpub.com. Or drop them off at 2340 Martin Dr., Stayton •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Weekly Events Monday
Stayton Community Food Bank, 9 a.m. - noon, 1210 Wilco Road. Repeats Monday - Friday. 503-769-4088 Senior Meals, 11:30 a.m. Delivery only. Age 60 and older. Serves Stayton, Sublimity, Aumsville, Gates, Lyons, Marion, Mehama. Repeats Wednesday, Friday. $3 donation suggested. For delivery, call Ginger, 503-769-7995.
Tuesday
Virtual Storytime, 10 a.m., Zoom. Stayton Public Library will send email the morning of to those registered. Register: staytonoregon.gov/page/ library_storytime Wildfire Recovery Support Group, 5:30 p.m., Foothills Church, 975 SE Fern Ridge Road, Stayton. Provided by Marion County Health and Human Services. Open to all. RSVPs needed to plan for food. Melissa Lu, 503-509-3177
Wednesday
Virtual Chamber Chat, 8:30 a.m. Zoom. Weekly networking forum sponsored by Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. https:// fb.me/e/56ngrYhQ6. 503-769-3464, staytonsubimitychamber.org
Thursday
Aumsville Food Pantry, 1 - 6 p.m., Pentecostal Church, 10153 Mill Creek Road. Food Pantry. 971-710-5665
Notices
Cascade Free Youth Meals
12:30 - 1 p.m. Grab-and-go breakfast, lunch. Children 1 - 18. Children do not have to be present. Locations: Aumsville Elementary, 572 N 11th St., Aumsville; Cloverdale Elementary, 9666 SE Parrish Gap Road, Turner; Turner Elementary, 7800 School Ave., Turner.
NSSD Free Youth Meals
11 a.m. - 12 p.m. Grab-and-go breakfast, lunch. Children 1 - 18. Children do not have to be present. Locations: Stayton Elementary, 875 N Third Ave.; Stayton High, 757 W Locust St.; Sublimity School, 376 E Main St.; Mari-Linn School, 641 Fifth St., Lyons.
14 • May 2021
Saturday, May 1 May Day
Leave a paper basket or cone with spring flowers and sweets anonymously on someone’s doorstep. This tradition was popular through the 19th and 20th centuries, especially with children or sweethearts. The custom is to knock on the door, yell “May basket!,” and then run.
Wednesday, May 5 Cinco de Mayo
Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican Army’s victory over the French Empire at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. In the United States, the date is associated with the celebration of Mexican-American culture.
Thursday, May 6 Aumsville Planning Commission
Oregon Crafters Market
11 a.m. - 6 p.m., 215 N Water St., Silverton. Local crafters & artists, live music, food & spirits. Entertainment is provided by Curtis Salgado and Alan Hager at 1 p.m. and Syco Billy´s String Band from 3:30 to 6 p.m. Repeats noon - 5 p.m. May 2 with entertainment from 2:30 - 5 p.m. by SandLynn. oregoncraftersmarket.com
World Labyrinth Day
1 p.m., Queen of Angels Monastery, 840 S Main St., Mt. Angel. Celebrate World Labyrinth Day and take steps for peace. A brief explanation of the Peace Walk on the labyrinth is at 12:45 p.m. Free. To register, call Sister Beyer, 503-845-2556.
Tom Gilberts @ Snow Peak
7 - 9 p.m., Snow Peak Brewing, 280 E Water St., Stayton. Blues music by Tom Gilberts. 503-767-2337
6:30 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Login information: 503-7492030. aumsville.us
Friday, May 7
Cascade FFA Plant Sale
9 a.m., Cascade High, 10226 SE Marion Road, Turner. Plant Science and Agriculture students sell hanging baskets, veggie starts, Cascade football helmet planters. Repeats May 8.
Crazy Daze
10 a.m. - 7 p.m., downtown Silverton. City-wide bargains, sidewalk sales, crazy activities. Music, shopping. Repeats 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. May 8, noon - 5 p.m. May 9.
Red Cross Blood Drive
10 a.m. - 4 p.m., Sublimity Fire Department, 115 NW Parker St. Appointments needed by visiting redcrossblood.org.
Sunday, May 2
Saturday, May 8
3 p.m. YouTube. Willamette Master Chorus presents Sacred Music at Mount Angel Abbey. Concert is available online at willamettemasterchorus.org. Repeats May 16.
9 a.m. - 2 p.m., Cascade High, 10226 NE Marion St., Turner. Registration $15 per car. Concession open at 8 a.m. for breakfast. Benefits the Cascade High 2021 senior all-night party. Food, drawings, silent auction and food. Features DJ Russ Strohmeyer.
Willamette Master Chorus Concert
Monday, May 3
Sublimity Budget Committee
6 p.m., Teleconference. Receive budget message and public comment on budget. Budget is available at cityofsublimity.org. Open to public. For call in information, call 503-769-5475 or email information@cityofsublimity. Org
Stayton Budget Committee
6 p.m., YouTube. Budget document will be posted on the Finance Department´s Budget page on or after May 4. For a hard copy, contact city staff at cityofstayton@ci.stayton.or.us. Open to public. Online: youtu.be/I7NGI9kOPt0.
Tuesday, May 4
Stayton Parks and Rec Board
Cascade Car Show
Spaghetti Dinner
5 - 7 p.m., Santiam Valley Grange, 1145 Fifth St., Lyons. Spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, dessert, beverage. $9. Limited seating. Available to go. Masks, social distancing required. 503-859-2161
Sunday, May 9 Mother´s Day
In 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation designating Mother’s Day, held on the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.
Monday, May 10 Stayton Budget Committee
7 p.m. YouTube. Open to public. Live stream on YouTube: https://youtu. be/qPMV8fDAiR0. 503-769-3425, staytonoregon.gov
6 p.m., YouTube. Budget document posted on the Finance Department´s Budget page on or after May 4. For a hard copy, contact city staff at cityofstayton@ci.stayton.or.us. Open to public. Online: youtu.be/trUQ0TotFeE.
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Sublimity City Council
7 p.m., Teleconference. Open to public. Agenda available. For login information, call 503-769-5475. cityofsublimity.org
Aumsville City Council
7 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Login information: 503-749-2030. aumsville.us
Stayton Fire District
7 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Login information: 503-769-2601. Staytonfire.org
Lyons Fire District Board
7 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Login information: 503-859-2410, lyonsrfd.org
Lyons Library Board
7 p.m., Lyons Public Library, 279 Eighth St. Limited in-person seating. Meeting on Zoom. Meeting ID: 862 1928 5441. Passcode: KC8U86. 503-859-2366
Tuesday, May 11 Ancesty Detectives
10 a.m., Zoom. Dave Duncan leads discussion on using tax records for genealogical research. jdstew@frontier. com, ancestrydetectives.org
Stayton Budget Committee
6 p.m., YouTube. Budget document posted on the Finance Department´s Budget page. For a hard copy, contact at cityofstayton@ci.stayton.or.us. Open to public. Online: youtu.be/lmOm3--RrDQ.
RDS Board
6 p.m. Join Revitalize Downtown Stayton in a virtual board meeting. Open to public. Email info@downtownstayton.com for login instructions prior to meeting. downtownstayton.org, 503-767-2317
Cascade School Board
7 p.m., Cascade District Office, 10226 SE Marion Road, Turner. Open to public. 503749-8010, cascade.k12.or.us
Wednesday, May 12 Virtual Chamber Chat
8:30 a.m. Zoom. Weekly networking forum sponsored by Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. Hosted by North Santiam School District. http://https://us02web. zoom.us/j/89530234634. 503-769-3464, staytonsubimitychamber.org
Caregiver Connection
1 - 2:30 p.m. Offered through conference call by contacting Julie Mendez at 503304-3432, julie.mendez@nwsds.org. For caregivers 60 or older or caregivers 55 or older caring for an adult 18 years or older living with a disability.
Stayton Budget Committee
6 p.m., YouTube. Budget document posted on the Finance Department´s Budget page. For a hard copy, contact cityofstayton@ci.stayton.or.us. Open to public. Online: youtu.be/rjStn4PlyrU.
Facebook.com: OurTown / Santiam
Thursday, May 13
Mari-Linn Kindergarten Meet & Greet
5:30 p.m., Mari-Linn School, 641 Fifth St., Lyons. Registration packets are available in the school office. 503-859-2154
North Santiam Watershed Council 6 p.m., Zoom. Open to public. For meeting login, call 503-930-8202.
Aumsville Fire District
6:30 p.m. Conference Call. Open to public. For information for joining the meeting, call 503-749-2894. aumsvillefire.org
Saturday, May 15 Flea Market
9 a.m. - 3 p.m., Santiam Valley Grange, 1145 Fifth St., Lyons. Collectibles, crafts. Cheeseburger/hamburger lunch to go only. Masks and social distancing required. 503-859-2161
Silverton Pet Parade
10 a.m. Silverton (Marion County COVID-19 risk level permitting.) All types of pets welcome. No registration or fee to participate. Lineup begins at 9:30 a.m. on Coolidge and Apple streets. Parade travels down Coolidge Street, along Main Street to First Street, ending at the old Eugene Field School. More info at silvertonpetparade.com
Bethel Clothing Closet
10 a.m. - noon, Bethel Baptist Church, 645 Cleveland St., Aumsville. Clothing from newborn to 2x. Free. 503-749-2128
Monday, May 17 Tax Day
Tax Day is the day on which individual income tax returns are due to be submitted to the federal government. This year’s returns must be postmarked no later than May 17.
Red Cross Blood Drive
1 - 6 p.m., Foothills Church, 975 Fern Ridge Road, Stayton. Appointments needed by visiting redcrossblood.org.
Stayton City Council
7 p.m. YouTube. Open to public. Agenda available. Live stream https://youtu.be/ TAnHd3kskuc.503-769-3425. staytonoregon.gov
Wednesday, May 19 Virtual Chamber Chat
8:30 a.m. Zoom. Weekly networking forum sponsored by Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. Hosted by Ashley Wingett The McLeod Group. http://https://us02web. zoom.us/j/89530234634. 503-769-3464, staytonsubimitychamber.org
Thursday, May 20
Monday, May 24
6 p.m., District Office, 1155 N First Ave., Stayton. Board meeting for North Santiam School District. Open to public. Agenda available. May move to Zoom. 503-769-6924, nsantiam.k12.or.us
7 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Agenda available. Call for login information. 503749-2030, aumsville.us
Aumsville Planning Commission
6:30 p.m. Zoom. Open to public. Agenda available. Login information at cityoflyons. org. 503-859-2167
NSSD Board
6:30 p.m. Zoom. Open to the public. Agenda available. Call for login information. 503-749-2030, aumsville.us
Saturday, May 22 Linn County Lamb & Wool Fair
10 a.m. - 6 p.m., Scio. Events include Lamb Trot 5K run/walk, porch parade, tractor show, Fat Lamb Fiber Arts Show, vendors, food trucks, youth sheep show. Find a complete lineup at lambfair.com.
The Sound Guise @ Snow Peak
7 - 9 p.m., Snow Peak Brewing, 280 E Water St., Stayton. Music by The Sound Guise. 503-767-2337
Sunday, May 23
Food Truck Gathering
Noon - 6 p.m., corner of First and Water street, Stayton. Have lunch, dinner at area food trucks.
Aumsville City Council
Tuesday, May 25 Lyons City Council
Wednesday, May 26 Virtual Chamber Chat
8:30 a.m. Zoom. Weekly networking forum sponsored by Stayton Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. Hosted by Ashley Wingett The McLeod Group. http://https://us02web. zoom.us/j/89530234634. 503-769-3464, staytonsubimitychamber.org
Red Cross Blood Drive
10 a.m. - 4 p.m., Aumsville Fire Department, 490 Church St. Appointments needed by visiting redcrossblood.org.
Monday, May 31 Memorial Day
Memorial Day is observed on the last Monday of May, honoring the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military.
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May 2021 • 15
k
Sports & Recreation
State champs
Stayton boys soccer dominates Class 4A
The Stayton High boys soccer turned in a sterling three-game run through the Class 4A state tournament and took home its second state title with a 4-1 win vs. Phoenix at Sutherlin on April 10. The top-seeded Eagles won the three games in five days, downing visiting Marshfield 5-1 on April 6 and traveling to Bend to blank Ontario 1-0 in the semifinals. “We were healthy going into the tournament which helped a lot,” coach Chris Shields told Our Town. “We had also played three games in five days during the season, prepping for what we thought the state tournament would look like. [I] wanted to have our kids minds and bodies ready for this.” Shields also won an OSAA Class 4A title in 2010 and took second in 2014, 2015, 2017 and 2019. This year’s COVID tournament featured an 8-team bracket of the six 4A league champs and
a battle for fifth place in Class 4A. Cascade finished 3-3, but the losses were to No. 2 Marist Catholic, No. 5 Banks and Class 6A Canby.
two at-large teams rather than the usual 16-team bracket because the competition had to conclude in one week. “Overall they played well all season,” said Shields, whose team finished 12-0 with a 60-5 goals edge. “We had a ton of talent return from last season. We had a lot of players on the roster who played in multiple state championships, so we were up to the challenge. “So many players stepped up and played great. We return a lot of great talent next year, so we are hoping for yet another run at the final.” Cascade football: The Cougars’ season ended with a 56-28 loss at Banks in
Coach Brandon Bennett noted that his squad rallied from a 21-6 deficit to within 28-20 against Banks but then “our next five drives went fumble, fumble, fumble, pick and pick.” “You cannot make as many mistakes as we did against good teams. The best part about that game is the hunger our kids now have. Off-season lifting has already started and the kids are excited for the fall. “We return 20 of 22 starters. So for us it is awesome to know we play again in a few months.” Bennett, meanwhile, is staying busy by coaching the golf team and also is getting married this summer. Volleyball: Another sign that Class 4A
was going to work like heck to make it a normal season is that the Oregon West Conference selected an all-league team. Senior Carly-Rose Lederer of Stayton make the second team, as did Cascade’s Lucretia Benolken. Stayton ‘s Olivia Atiyeh, Maddy Mitzel and Mary Weitman earned honorable mention, as did Jadyn Daviscourt, Cami Oliva and Annebelle Peterson of Cascade. Baseball: Stayton has added a veteran assistant baseball coach, Don Heuberger, who won a pair of Class 2A state titles and more than 700 games in a career that included 28 years at Regis. Heuberger is assisting long-time friend Steve Salisbury of the Eagles. Track and field: Stayton is in line to host the OWC district meet on Friday, May 14, Eagles athletic director Darren Shryock says, subject, as always, to Marion County’s COVID risk level. Follow me on Twitter.com @jameshday.
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Sports Datebook Monday, May 3 Girls Golf 11 a.m. Stayton vs Regis @ Santiam Golf Course Baseball 3:30 p.m. Sweet Home @ Stayton 4:30 p.m. Cascade @ Philomath 4:30 p.m. Regis @ East Linn Christian
Boys Tennis 4 p.m. Blanchet Catholic @ Stayton
Tuesday, May 4 Softball 4:30 p.m. Regis @ Sheridan
Girls Tennis 4 p.m. Stayton @ Blanchet Catholic
Wednesday, May 5 Baseball 4:30 p.m. Newport @ Cascade 4:30 p.m. Regis @ Central Linn
Softball 4:30 p.m. Sisters @ Stayton 4:30 p.m. Casade @ Colton 4:30 p.m. Scio @ Regis
Softball 4:30 p.m. Stayton @ Sweet Home 4:30 p.m. Philomath @ Cascade 4:30 p.m. Santiam @ Regis Friday, May 7 Girls & Boys Track & Field 3 p.m. Regis Twilight
Girls & Boys Track & Field 3:30 p.m. Stayton @ Sweet Home
Baseball 4:30 p.m. Cascade @ Newport
Baseball 4:30 p.m. Stayton @ Woodburn 4:30 p.m. Sisters @ Cascade 4:30 p.m. Monroe @ Regis Softball 4:30 p.m. Cascade @ Newport 4:30 p.m. Portland Adventist @ Regis
Softball 4:30 p.m. Stayton @ Philomath 4:30 p.m. Woodburn @ Cascade
Thursday, May 6 Girls & Boys Track @ Field 4 p.m. Regis @ Jefferson
Monday, May 10 Girls Golf 11 a.m. Regis @ Santiam Golf Course
Tuesday, May 11 Baseball 4:30 p.m. Banks @ Stayton
Baseball 4:30 p.m. Regis @ Jefferson 5 p.m. Stayton @ Banks
Wednesday, May 12 Baseball 4:30 p.m. Woodburn @ Stayton 4:30 p.m. Cascade @ Sisters
Softball 4:30 p.m. Stayton @ Woodburn 4:30 p.m. Cascade @ Sisters 4:30 p.m. Central LInn @ Regis Friday, May 14 Softball 4:30 p.m. Central @ Cascade SOFTBALL © TAKASHI HONMA / 123RF.COM TENNIS © MIKE FLIPPO / 123RF.COM SNEAKERS © 123RFAURINKO / 123RF.COM
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a heartfelt thanks for all you do Facebook.com: OurTown / Santiam
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May 2021 • 17
A Grin at the End
Duck-duck-boom
Ideas to solve the world’s problems
It’s been a busy year for the researchers here at Sampson Laboratories (motto: You can never do too much useless stuff).
things up with a duck call built into your mask. This would be especially good for trips to quiet places like the library. In a room with dozens of people wearing masks, finding the one with the duck call would be all but impossible.
One of our intrepid scientists is coming up with an easier way to make carbon fiber parts for airplanes. I’m not really sure how it was supposed to work but I think it involves using Bungee cords to tie 40 microwave ovens to the plane’s wing and using the “defrost” mode. As Elon Musk says, “Every time we blow something up we learn something.” That being the case, we’re learning lots of stuff. My latest initiative – that’s researcher talk – is developing a device that will immediately put out forest fires. After last year, boy howdy, do we need something like that. Sending bunches of people into the forest with shovels just isn’t getting it done. That’s where the Water Bomb comes into play. I can’t go into details because the patent hasn’t yet been granted, but it involves a weather balloon, a helicopter and a stick of dynamite. I’m looking forward to testing it this summer – and so are the neighbors. Like every other researcher worth his – or her – pocket protector, we’ve been up to our beakers in COVID-19. While Big Pharma has hogged the spotlight with their
so-called vaccines, we at Sampson Laboratories were developing a cure for it. Instead of using a bunch of drugs and stuff, we decided to go the metaphysical route. It involved closing our eyes really tight and wishing COVID would go away. I personally tried it, because so many politicians were trying the same thing. It didn’t work, but no matter. I should have known that politics and science don’t mix. Other COVID-related experiments were much more successful. Most people don’t like masks, right? What if I could invent a mask that was actually useful – beyond keeping viruses out, I mean. With the right design, those pesky masks could be used for all sorts of things. For one, if you’re in a meeting that gets to be even more boring than usual, you could liven
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If a candy company were on the ball, it would sell masks pre-loaded with candy, chips or even miniature cupcakes. What could be more American than promoting public health and junk food at the same time? Then there’s the mask that we here at Sampson Laboratories call The Ultimate. With minor modifications your mask will dispense a bacon cheeseburger, but that mechanism is yet to be perfected. The dill pickle and beer dispenser are proving to be a challenge. Carl Sampson is a freelance writer and editor. He lives in Stayton.
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But there’s an even more utilitarian use for masks. I present the patent-pending Snacker-Mask. Inside it is a dispenser for M&Ms. That way, when I’m in some interminable meeting – I go to a lot of meetings – all I have to do is tap the side of my Snacker-Mask and an M&M will shoot into my mouth. The deluxe model not only dispenses M&Ms but peanut butter and jelly.
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May 2021 • 19
20 • May 2021
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Facebook.com: OurTown / Santiam