Two weeks ago I woke up with puffy eyes. And with a strange and unexpected detachement, I remembered that I’ve just seen myself in a really weird place. I had felt so fucking sad. But then I was awake the next day, and after all that hopelessness and dispair, I was feeling okay, and even somewhat happy because soon I’d get to edit a video and work on a project. I went down so fast and so hard, and the next day I just felt done with it. Maybe all the crying and hopelessness broke something in me. Maybe I’m trying to make up for it. Since that night I’ve had this stronger need to be grounded in myself, and just move around the waves. I’ve been thinking that all I can do is support myself, and soften my heart when I can.
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