Nora Corrigan - “Connie O’Neil: Omaha Matriarch Supports Families for 35 years”

Connie O’Neil: Omaha Matriarch Supports Families for 35 years

By J1 Reporter Nora Corrigan

Connie O’Neil has been taking care of children for over 35 years. She first welcomed others into her home in 1986, courageously leaving her nine-to-five in hopes of raising her son in conjunction with other family members or neighborhood kids. But what started out as a way to spend more quality time with her son, seamlessly turned into much more than O’Neil could have ever envisioned. Leaving the accounting office at Brandeis for the last time on that fateful day in 1986, O’Neil walked into the lives of others; ultimately impacting her life and the lives’ of families throughout Omaha for years to follow.

Long before her days as a childcare provider, or even an accountant at Brandeis, O’Neil was simply an Omaha native. A part of a strong Catholic family, she attended Blessed Sacrament for grade school (now the site of Nelson Mandela Elementary School) and then received her high school diploma from Notre Dame Academy (merged with Rummel High School to form the current Roncalli Catholic). O’Neil then pursued her associates degree of interior design from the University of Nebraska Omaha. But, as these things typically go, she didn’t exactly find a career that matched her major.

O’Neil recalls her early days in the workforce, “I worked part-time at Emmanuel Hospital because I kind of liked the idea of the medical field. Well, then I got in there and they wanted me in the registry office. I thought, well, you know what, I’m going to give this a try.” Soon enough, O’Neil found herself at Brandeis in accounting after the birth of her first child.

With the arrival of Nan (O’Neil’s daughter and Marian graduate of 1989), O’Neil had to make some quick decisions; leave the workforce and take care of her child, or remain at Brandeis and risk Nan “having issues,” as her mother would taunt her. Ultimately, O’Neil made the executive decision to become a working mother. “I loved my job and I had parents that were here, good family members. And let me tell you, she (Nan) doesn’t have issues.” And she’s right by the way, Nan is the embodiment of a “girlboss.” A mother of three and an accountant and supportive wife of her husband’s very successful business. She resides in Phoenix, Ariz. with her family and fur babies.

So O’Neil worked and raised a child and some years passed before she happily found herself pregnant with her second child. “I had trouble getting pregnant so this was big for us. And I thought, well, you know, let’s try staying home with him.”

At that point, O’Neil had

worked in the corporate world for many years and she had her own doubts about leaving. “I said to Bill, ‘Oh man, am I going to be sorry I didn’t stay.’” However, Bill, O’Neil’s husband, was more than supportive of their leaving “They’re there. They to take care of her son, Kyle, and eventually estab-give you hugs. They lishing an in-home daycare want to be told that business. they’re doing great. When O’Neil first decided she would take on They want to be more children besides her admired. They are own, it was only because she “wanted Kyle to have human beings. And I other children to play with,” think, I hope, I made specifically children that she knew. “My cousin’s a difference in their daughter was the same age as Kyle and she asked if lives. I mean they’re I would be interested in my kids, you know?” watching Sarah. I thought that would be a good start for a playmate.” And so, the doors, or rather O’Neil’s single-car garage door, opened to welcome the first of many families that would come through for morning drop-offs or afternoon pickups in the next 35 years.

O’Neil had never intended to operate a daycare from her home or even make a profit off of it. “I think I just grew into this. It started out as a volunteer thing at first and then I guess I wanted to make it a full time thing.” Through

word of mouth, ads in the weekly bulletin at church, or curious neighbors, O’Neil grew her business. She started out making $75 a week and would often sacrifice vacations to accommodate the schedules of the families at the daycare.

“Our vacations turned into ball tournaments,” referring to the annual Men’s College World Series baseball tournament. This is a tradition O’Neil’s family still continues today; her daughter and grandchildren travel back to Omaha and keep the house busy during those 2 weeks in June.

Taking care of children isn’t always a walk in the park, and that was true for O’Neil, too. There were trivial things; kids sneaking extra snacks out of the glorified ‘snack room,’ kids talking back or throwing fits, refusing to take naps, etc., but O’Neil also encountered serious situations. O’Neil was forced to confront sexual abuse between two children at her daycare.

“There was a family that I was very close to. The mom called me and told me that one of the younger boys came on to her son. I wasn’t aware, you know, because they would never do anything in front of me. I confronted the parent [of the abuser] and she put him in treatment. I think it damaged the kid and Kyle’s relationship for sure. Kyle didn’t really want much to do with him after that. I think it probably damaged our friendship with the family somewhat, too.”

After that incident, O’Neil put in measures to avoid any sort of thing from happening again.

“I really started to read little ones. I mean, you can look at them and say, you

know, how are you doing today? What did you like about today? Ask them questions that they have to respond to other than a yes or no.”

Beyond the challenges faced with children, O’Neil also received backlash from former corporate friends.

“I remember going to functions with Bill. He was still in corporate. We would go to dinner and visit and socialize and people would ask me, ‘How could you ever stay home. Must be awful.’ I felt really degraded.”

Despite facing difficulties from friends or even in her own business, O’Neil found success in operating a daycare. She feels like part of the reason she was so successful with children is

because of the examples her parents led.

“I never remember my parents yelling or screaming. They cared for each other and they loved each other. That’s it. They taught me to care for kids like they’re real people.”

When it comes down to it, O’Neil remembers the impact the kids made on her.

“They’re there. They give you hugs. They want to be told that they’re doing great. They want to be admired. They are human beings. And I think, I hope, I made a difference in their lives. I mean they’re my kids, you know?”

O’Neil’s single-car garage door closed to families for good in March 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic. She didn’t want to risk contracting COVID and spreading it to the children or their family members at home. She was also planning on retiring in May 2020 and the pandemic only sped up that process. Although she no longer takes care of other children, O’Neil is fortunate enough to assume her grandmotherly duties as a caretaker for her son’s daughter, Carter Jo.

O’Neil’s 35 years in childcare have been nothing short of impactful and inspirational. She never intended to direct her life around taking care of children, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Families across Omaha all agree that O’Neil is more than a caretaker; she’s a mother. She was there to teach new parents how to tame a crying baby or how to handle more than one child. She taught kids how to walk or read. And she took on the most important role of a parent; she taught kids how to be kind and how to show kindness towards others. O’Neil’s son puts it best,

“There’s not too many people like [my mom].”

“I never remember my parents yelling or screaming. They cared for each other and they loved each other. They taught me how to care for kids like they’re real people.”

Photo by Nora Corrigan ’23