Sizing you up

Eight things people use to judge you

The human brain is hardwired to judge. This survival mechanism makes it very hard to meet someone without evaluating and interpreting their behaviour.

While we tend to think that our judgments are based on the content of conversations and other obvious behaviours, the research says otherwise.

In fact, the majority of our judgments are focused on smaller, subtler things, such as handshakes and body language. We often form complete opinions about people based solely on these behaviours.

How you treat others - How you treat others, especially support and service people, is so indicative of your makeup that it has become a widely used way to assess someone’s personality.

How often you check your phone - There’s nothing more frustrating than someone pulling out their phone mid-conversation. Doing so conveys a lack of respect, attention, listening skills, and willpower.

Repetitive, nervous habits - Touching your nails or face or picking at your skin typically indicates that you’re nervous, overwhelmed, and not in control. Research suggests these nervous habits are indicative of a perfectionistic personality, and that perfectionists are more likely to engage in these habits when they’re frustrated or bored.

How long you take to ask questions - Ever had a conversation with someone where they talked about themselves the entire time? The amount of time someone allows to pass before they take an interest in you is a strong personality indicator. People who only talk about themselves tend to be loud, self-absorbed ‘takers’. People who only ask questions and share little about themselves are usually quiet, humble ‘givers’. Those who strike a nice balance of give-and-take are reciprocators and good conversationalists.

Your handshake - It’s common for people to associate a weak handshake with a lack of confidence and an overall lackadaisical attitude. A firm handshake is associated with being less shy, less neurotic and more extroverted

Tardiness - Showing up late leads people to think that you lack respect and tend to procrastinate, as well as being lazy or disinterested.

Handwriting - There are all manner of false stereotypes attempting to relate your handwriting to your personality. Bottom line – the research is inconclusive at best when it comes to handwriting and personality.

Eye contact - The key to eye contact is balance. While it’s important to maintain eye contact, doing so 100 percent of the time is perceived as aggressive and creepy.

At the same time, if you only maintain eye contact for a small portion of the conversation, you’ll come across as disinterested, shy, or embarrassed. Maintaining eye contact for roughly 60 percent of a conversation strikes the right balance and makes you come across as interested, friendly, and trustworthy.