Magnet issue 84

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No. 84 Winter 2008 ÂŁ2.50

encouraging, enabling, equipping

Being human A story of hope from the Cameroon The narrow path of unpopularity Gifted and talented www.magnetmag.co.uk ISSN 1 363-0245

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Editorial Office: Autumn 2007 magnet Magnet magazine Methodist Church House 25 Marylebone Road London NW1 5JR Tel: 020 7486 5502 (Help Desk) E-mail: magnetmag@ methodistchurch.org.uk Subscriptions: Magnet Subscriptions at Warners The Maltings West Street Bourne Lincolnshire PE10 9PH Tel: 01778 392031 E-mail: subscriptions@ warnersgroup.co.uk www.magnetmag.co.uk/subs.html Advertising: Please contact the Editorial Office or email magnetmag@methodistchurch.org.uk Magnet magazine is a Christian resource produced by the Methodist Church for men and women. Each issue provides regular features including Bible study, a prayer focus, personal stories, worship material and a focus on world and justice issues.

Talking Magnet is available on tape and is free of charge to those who are registered blind or partially sighted. For information, please contact the editorial office.

magnet No. 84: Winter 2008

Being human features

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The human condition: leaving the door ajar

The Liverpool nativity

talking justice

A time for celebration

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Designed by Twenty-Five Educational Tel: 0151 632 1657 www.base25.com Printed by Warners Midlands plc www.warners.co.uk

Cover image: Aminata Kamara outside her home in Kroo Bay Freetown.

She is nine months pregnant and due to deliver any day. © Aubrey Wade

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Vivian’s story

The Seasons Of Life: A study taken from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

prayer focus

Editorial Group: Sue Bloomfield, Liz Chick, Tricia Creamer, Jane Dowell, Samantha Ferris, Jordanna Gargas, Patricia Goacher, Lynne Ling, Alaine Sheppard, Gail Sheppard, Jacqueline Shirtliff, Sheila Simpson, Hyacinth Sweeney-Dixon.

Opinions given in articles may not always reflect the views of the team.

Authors and photographers own the copyright for their contributions. The Editorial Office is happy to pass on any enquiries.

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Your letters

Diary dates In your next issue

for meditation

bible study The narrow path of unpopularity

in touch

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The human condition: being truly human

Magnet is produced by a team of volunteers who form the editorial and management groups.

Management Group: Lynne Ling, Margaret Rowe, Jane Wild, Jennifer Winn.

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John 1: 14

Christmas word

Epiphany

Christmas dream

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Rachel is weeping for her children

worship

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18 The family crib

Lily’s family

Mary’s story

debate

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Children cannot do any wrong until we show them how

The empty nest 30 Only as old as you feel

Reflections on retirement All God’s children are gifted & talented

resources

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Winter blessing

Persistent God

New candles

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Talking points Una McLean Una McLean started writing as soon as her pencil could make words on a page. She says that words have colours and dance and move for her imagination to capture and use. She is a Methodist minister in North Wales who uses story telling as part of her preaching and teaching style.

The Orkney tapestries In the meditation image ’All paths lead home’ Leila Thompson uses her landscape of Orkney to celebrate life and nature around her, thus evoking a sense of time and space. The tapestries are woven on a large, extending, upright loom in the High Gobelins technique, using cotton warp at 8 warps per inch. For the weft Leila mainly uses a mixture of Shetland wool, Swedish linen and American cotton but likes to be able to experiment with other materials to achieve the most suitable effect for each idea. Drawing and planning for a tapestry takes as much time as weaving, so each piece may take between 2-4 months to complete.

Helen Bell In September 2003 Helen Bell, a probationer minister took up her first appointment in the Ashton Circuit with pastoral charge of two churches and the exciting opportunity to be the chaplain at Rosehill Methodist Community School for two days each week. This level of chaplaincy was then rare and it was the vision of the whole Circuit that those hours of ministry in the school were an important part of its mission. Helen shares her journey into school chaplaincy in ‘All children are gifted and talented’.

Donald Eadie Donald Eadie is a retired Methodist minister, formerly a tutor in pastoral theology at Wesley College, Bristol, and Chairman of the Birmingham District of the Methodist Church. He now lives in a multi cultural neighbourhood in Birmingham. For 15 years he has lived with a serious spinal condition and has a room within which he offers a ministry of stability and availability. He listens to people who want to ponder life and its meaning, search for a sense of direction and wonder what God is up to in the world and in our lives. Donald’s book ‘Grain in Winter – Reflections for Saturday people’ (Epworth Press) has been helpful to many people.

Child Rescue Alert Child Rescue Alert was launched in the UK in 2006, as a groundbreaking initiative to save abducted children from being murdered. The scheme works by interrupting television and radio programmes with immediate news flashes that a youngster has been snatched and is at risk of serious harm or death. By joining with the media, police forces are able to spread the message to a vast cross-section of the public within moments, asking them to keep their eyes and ears open and to call 999 if they have crucial information. Link Prayer focus p22

Editorial Hyacinth Sweeney-Dixon and Jane Dowell We turn from the healing theme of peace and reconciliation of our last Issue to contemplate our present state, that of being human. The human condition is not about the condition of a specific individual or group; it is about all of us, it about where we stand in relation to each other and to God. It is about humanity’s dissociation from God and from each other. For Christians, it is about the incarnation of God in Christ Jesus proclaiming that God is with us in every situation.

Through story, comment, worship and prayer the writers in this issue grapple with the different ages, conditions and emotions of being human. It proclaims that the process of healing this dissociation from God and each other has already begun. This winter issue Being human deals with the love and the grace of God working in the lives and activities of very different people. It is evidence that the repercussions of the birth of Jesus over two thousand years ago continue to be felt and experienced today.

The front cover portrays just one aspect of humanity and this image was chosen because of the woman's pregnancy, an aspect of life that we remember at Christmas time.

The debate ‘Children cannot do anything wrong until we show them how’ has already stimulated much discussion; some of the articles and meditations reflect the Christmas season and in others the intricate and unpredictable web of relationships woven in many families and communities is finely drawn. Perhaps, not surprisingly, the term ‘the human condition’ means something different to everyone we have spoken to!

Talking Magnet Call Methodist Church House 020 7486 5502 (Help Desk) to request an application form for Talking Magnet on cassette tape. This service is free of charge to those who are registered blind or partially sighted.

Talking Magnet is produced as a project by the Chester & Stoke-on-Trent District of the Methodist Church.

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MICHAEL SAWYER

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THE HUMAN CONDITION:

being truly human

by Donald Eadie

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HE INVITATION was to remove racist slogans daubed on the walls of a railway bridge.

Members of the local Liberal and Communist Parties planned a protest for mid-day on a Sunday when the people of the Churches would be moving from worship into coffee and biscuits. Could we, would we change the time of services and take our place in that neighbourhood ritual? We did and the conversations that Sunday lunch time led not only to a public Christian/Marxist debate but also to

Only slowly and painfully do we embrace this perplexing interacting mixture of good and evil 4

deep and rigorous discussion in each others’ homes. We talked about the ideological base from which each developed their world view, the political realities and ethical issues to be wrestled with, also the nature of the human condition.

We belonged to that generation in the 1960s that lived and worked with social hope, passionately campaigned for the removal of apartheid in South Africa, for nuclear disarmament through CND and for the homeless in Britain through Shelter. With Martin Luther King we dreamed dreams and also confronted human wickedness.

One man finds brief respite from the harshness of life

So what of the human condition?

Thomas Merton was a Cistercian monk and hermit, a wise and sensitive man who listened intently to those engaged in the struggles for justice and peace and entered into correspondence with them. He discovered that we contain the world within us. ‘Most of us are slow to recognize, to confess that the evil, the sin and violence which we see in the world and in others is deeply rooted in our own hearts.’1 Merton also discerned within humanity the marks of the transformation of evil through suffering and love.

The relationship between our own inner and outer worlds is complex.

We use noise and busyness to protect ourselves from listening, fearing what awaits us in the silence and solitude of those depths. Our tendency is to project elsewhere the dark within us, the bits that we don’t like and find hard to accept. Only slowly and painfully do we embrace this perplexing interacting mixture of good and evil, light and shadow, creation and destruction as belonging to the wonder and terror of who we are. The wounds from the past may fester, disfigure and imprison but they may also be enfolded into our greater wholeness, our deeper humanity.

Our first vocation is to be a human being, to be fully human, it is for this that we are born. It is to be real rather than religious, honest rather than heroic. The journey into our humanity includes befriending our many selves, our many inner voices, becoming aware of our capacity for love and hate, for human kindness and for cruelty, for truth telling and for deceit and manipulation, for being creative and for being destructive.

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The Word became flesh and lived for a while among us.

We have seen his glory... full of grace and truth.

magnet • words: John 1:14. Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version Anglicised. Copyright ©1979,1984, by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton Publishers, a division of Hachette Livre (UK) Ltd. All rights reserved. “NIV” is a registered trademark of International Bible Society. UK trademark number 1448790; image: © Sieger Köder, The Birth of Jesus, Rosenberg Altar (excerpt)

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MICHAEL SAWYER

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Two heads are better than one

enables us to fulfil our first vocation. Many of us are both attracted and scared by the humanity of Jesus, we too easily lose him in religious language, in theological formulae and in certain ways of studying the Bible.

Our testimony is not only that God was in Christ but also that God is in the depths of our own humanity.

Our body is ‘a hermitage when we embrace it as quite simply the place where I shall meet God – in the here and now of my actual humanity.’5

To be human is to be drawn into the heart of life, into the heart of God

To be human also includes the acknowledgement of our interconnectedness with terrible atrocities. Fergal Keane provides a haunting glimpse when reporting scenes of massacre in Rwanda. ‘The ragged peasants who died and those who did the killing belong to the same human family as I do.

Creativity 6

MICHAEL SAWYER

A friend wrote of his discovery of ‘a freedom within the prison of illness, handicap or cell.’2 To be human is to live this freedom within limitation, frailty and complexity. It is to dare to come out of hiding from behind our masks, to be open and honest, to be gentle, to let tears of laughter and joy stain our face, to own our rage, to be passionate, to make mistakes, to recover our playfulness. It is to embrace pain, to become pain bearers, absorbing in our bodies evil, suffering, grief and shame willingly. It is to catch a glimpse of the passion of God not in the abstract but through embodiment. It is to live within what Rowan Williams calls ‘the vulnerability that is the heart of transformation.’3

This may be a troubling kinship but I cannot reject it.’ He concludes ‘Our trade may be full of imperfections and ambiguities but if we ignore evil we become the authors of a guilty silence.’4

To be human is to be drawn into the heart of life, into the heart of God. It is to journey into the deep love of God, the compassion of God.

In all these things and more we may discern the marks of a profound humanity within which some see the humanity of Jesus.

What has to happen, I wonder, for our churches to become truly human communities, safe places into which we can bring the depths of our humanity?

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Our second vocation is to be a follower of Jesus Christ, to be human in the way Jesus was, this

Donald is prepared to engage with people about these issues via email donaldeadie@btinternet.com

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The Hidden Ground of Love – Thomas Merton (Collins Flame) Michael Wilson, a priest and a doctor Silence and Honey Cakes – Rowan Williams (Lion Books) Letters to Daniel – Fergal Keane (Penguin) Author unknown

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issue 84

THE HUMAN CONDITION:

leaving the door ajar

by Michael Sawyer, minister of Chelsea Methodist Church and Pastoral Centre Volunteers and guests working at Chelsea Methodist Church and Pastoral Centre

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o some the Kings Road in Chelsea has a celebrity status!

Designer shops and restaurants thrive amongst the ’nouveau riche’ residents, reminiscent of Betjeman’s ‘shining ones’. To others the road offers a set of shop doorways in which to sleep. All are part of our human condition.

At Chelsea Methodist Church and Pastoral Centre the church seeks to minister to those who come with a wide range of needs. This is how some see us.

stole, I did many things…just to feed the habit. You can go with someone to an appointment, like the housing or detox clinic, but can you stay with them…keep the demons away…can you do that?”

Guest 3 “Michael, why am I barred? You’re supposed to be a Christian, the Bible says you’re supposed to forgive me, so forgive me and let me in…”

Guest 1 “Michael, you could come out where I sleep for a week, see what I live with, but you still wouldn’t understand…you can go home…I can’t.”

Police officer “You know this place is the last hope for some guys. They’ve been barred from most other projects; here they get to sit with people, get a shower, some clothes and food. We will support you, but remember our being here may make them think we’re harassing them.”

Guest 2 “You wouldn’t have wanted to know me then. I lied,

Guest 4 “I just wanted to write and say thank you for everything

the centre has done for me, just the dignity of keeping clean, other people to support you… pass it on to the staff, it’s meant a lot.”

Many of us have been challenged by that deeply incarnate human condition, discovering within ourselves the possibilities of how we would react if we were homeless. Volunteers and staff appreciate just how thin the layers of civility can be between people but we are also witness to the acts of compassion between people living on the streets. Volunteers and guests learn from one another and somehow we manage to leave the door ajar to allow God in without our getting in the way.

…but can you stay with them… keep the demons away… can you do that?

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ISABELLE CARBONI/MRDF

talking justice

magnet Winter 2008

Vivian’s story of hope I

Vivian sorts carefully through her basin of maize and looks out across the land where clusters of carrots, onions, yams and beans are growing. This is her land and soon she will make her regular trip to the market to sell her maize and vegetables.

The proceeds will help her to buy food and pay her daughter’s school fees…

Cameroon’s rural population is dependent on subsistence agriculture, but persistent farming on the land has led to poor fertility and low production, leaving many to live a hand-tomouth existence. The country has low levels of life expectancy – 50 years for men and 51 years for women.

Malaria and HIV/AIDs are prevalent, and most people find it difficult to pay for medical treatment.

Alongside this debilitating poverty, women in these communities can face marginalisation. Restrictive legislation makes it difficult for them to secure bank loans and their property rights are limited, with the husband usually managing land, which he can sell if he chooses. It is against this backdrop that Vivian shares her story of hope…

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live in the remote village of Wowo in the Ndu District of north-western Cameroon. Like many other women there, I worried about having enough food to feed my family. I relied on my parents to provide basic necessities.

Many people die, sickness causes problems for families. They cannot work on their farms, so they don’t have food.

In 2002 I attended a nine month agricultural training programme run by a local organisation that receives support from Methodist Relief and Development Fund (MRDF). I studied a variety of

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paperwork. The organisation also lent me money to pay for a government representative to travel to the land, a necessary procedure.

courses, including bookkeeping, nutrition, land and livestock management and fish farming. The courses emphasise farming procedures that use land in a sustainable way. I also attended classes on HIV/AIDS, a key component of the education programme.

My application was successful and I am now a landowner, no small feat for a woman in Cameroon, where it is estimated that fewer than 10% of women hold land certificates. It was a surprise to other women and even men who don’t have land. It is a great booster for me.

As part of my training, I worked on the land owned by the local organisation. The area incorporates woodland with a variety of tree species that students can use for research, a tree nursery, a medicinal plant nursery, a fishpond and grazing land for cattle.

I learnt how to store maize, a staple food in the area.

Traditionally, maize is laid out on a cloth to dry where bugs crawl over it. I now use wood ash to keep the bugs away from the maize, which I store in a shed. Being able to store it in this way means it can be sold for additional income later on in the year when there is less maize available. I also learnt how to make terrace beds so that seeds planted on steep hills are not washed away by the rains. Before, I farmed in the local, traditional way and did not produce enough to feed my family.

Not only do I own my land, but also I was able to borrow money from MRDF’s partner to buy farming equipment and some cows. I paid this money back with the profit made from selling my crops.

I applied to the Government for my own piece of land… Now I feel free because there is food in my family the importance of using manure to plant certain crops to keep the soil fertile, instead of setting fire to the whole field, which is the usual practice.

I would never have dreamt of speaking publicly before, but a fundamental part of my training is the expectation that I will pass the knowledge on.

Before, I struggled to send my child to school and sometimes worried about feeding my children. Now I feel free because there is food in my family.

On a typical day I wake up at 5am and prepare food for my children.

Then I send my nine year old daughter to school, leaving my twins in their grandmother’s care. I walk to my farm, which is 1.5 miles away and spend the day tending my vegetable garden or crop field.

This first person account has been written by us on Vivian’s behalf, but is based closely on an interview with Vivian conducted by the Methodist Relief and Development Fund’s Programme Officer for Cameroon

Sometimes I share what I have learnt with the women’s group Help Yourself that I run. I explain

Methodist Church House 25 Marylebone Road London NW1 5JR www.mrdf.org.uk ISABELLE CARBONI/MRDF

Vivian gladly accepts a receipt, which shows the repayment of her loan

After seven weeks of teaching I went home to practise what I had learnt before returning to the centre for two further seven week courses.

Not long after, I applied to the government for my own piece of land. Staff at the training centre advised me on my rights and helped me to complete the

Vivian (centre) with her daughter, sons and some of the members of the group she runs

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The Liverpool nativity Liverpool’s amazing year as European Capital of Culture was heralded one December evening as over the River Mersey and on to the Liverpool streets there unfolded the story of the nativity told for today. The Revd James A Booth, Chair of the Liverpool Methodist District, continues:

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music on its own was worth being there to hear and sing along with – Lady Madonna, Imagine and much more. Perhaps to gaze from afar on the famous sons and daughters of Liverpool, returned for a brief one night cameo as an inn keeper, a shepherd, a wise man. And yes, they were there, today’s celebrities of stage, screen and soap.

What did we see and hear? The timeless Gospel story of the birth of Jesus told straight, surprising and thrilling me. The story was not

JANE LEADBETTER

HE CITY OF LIVERPOOL’S YEAR as European Capital of Culture got off to an early and, for me, a wonderful and unforgettable start. My wife and I joined an enthusiastic crowd of thousands of noisy Liverpudlians of all ages gradually and expectantly congregating in the city centre, the grandeur of St George’s Hall on one side of us, the Walker Art Gallery on the other. What had we all gathered for? Perhaps for the wonderful music of the Beatles, the Liverpool Sound. And yes, the

changed. What was changed was the social, political and geographical context in which it was set and told. Here was an asylum seeker Joseph, trying to make his way in life and come to terms with and accept what was happening to his Mary, matters that were of God and beyond his knowing and understanding. Here were today’s politics of power, a real city and even a ferry ride across the Mersey (surely a logistical nightmare for a live event!) Nor was the significance of the birth fudged or watered down. That here is the Saviour of the world, offering hope to all humankind was clearly and positively stated.

The timeless Gospel story of the birth of Jesus told straight, surprising and thrilling me.

For me, the most powerful and moving moment of the whole evening came with the depiction of the flight into Egypt. We were standing on steps on the edge of the crowd, looking down on the stage and main central body of the crowd. As Mary, Joseph and the baby left the stage to make their escape, the crowd naturally parted to let them through and as they moved forward the crowd closed around them, enfolding and protecting them. At that moment I had a powerful sense of the God who accepts, welcomes, protects and enfolds us in his love.

Here for me, in the Liverpool nativity was the reality of the Incarnation, the timeless truth of the God of love made flesh, light shining in our darkness, on the streets of Liverpool.

Hands and feet frozen, we rushed home to watch it again on TV!

Liverpudlians of all ages congregate in the city centre

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Christmas word When he was born, He couldn’t speak a word, That Word made flesh.

All he could do was cry The human cry of hunger And the need for love.

He had to learn his words At Mary’s knee and Joseph’s bench; Words of the Kingdom values That informed their lives.

And when he spoke, It was again Mary’s Magnificat, Turning our expectations upside down: Good News of transformation.

God’s Word, and ours If we too give it flesh And live Magnificat: Meeting the human cry Of hunger and the need for love.

magnet • words: © From Watching for the Kingfisher by Ann Lewin © 2004 Inspire. Used by permission of Methodist Publishing House; image: Today’s celebrities of stage, screen and soap perform in The Liverpool nativity © Church Times

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Liverpool: a time for celebration Hyacinth Sweeney-Dixon, Ecumenical Racial Justice Officer, Merseyside

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NE THING WE ALL LIKE is being part of a celebration and Liverpool showed this with the magnificent turn out for the Nativity play. Liverpool has shown this throughout its year as European Capital of Culture. As expected; an economic boom has hit the city and the whole of Merseyside is reaping the rewards.

Everyone got in on the act for Liverpool 08 or Hope 08 as termed by the church bodies putting together a schedule of events for the year.

‘Liverpool: The musical’ took place the next day at the newly built multi-purpose Arena and Convention Centre. Local artists and up-and-coming talent performed side by side in a show exploring 800 years (both positive and negative) of Liverpool’s history in a two hour performance. All the stops were pulled out for both events. All the artists and volunteers committed time and had the freedom to be a part of these events; all would expect to be treated with dignity and respect in this time of celebration for all.

The multi-purpose arena hall was in prefect condition along with the facilities for the main star performers. The facilities behind the scene however were less than desirable. There was no heating

The people of Liverpool and Merseyside have come together in a special year of celebration. As humans it is part of our makeup to continually seek unity. Throughout the year Liverpool has sought to do just that. This was again experienced as millions of people came out to see the Tall Ships Parade in July. They lined both Liverpool and Wirral sides of the River Mersey. I believe that celebrating is something that the people of Merseyside do best.

Left: Love and Joy Gospel Choir from Liverpool and Stavanger Gospel Choir from Norway sang at the Hope 08 Festival Hope Inspired at the Metropolitan Cathedral of Christ the King Liverpool; below: Members of the Liverpool Welsh Choral, one of the many performers at the Arena event.

HYACINTH SWEENEY-DIXON

The ‘Peoples Opening’ was attended by a sea of thousands outside St Georges Hall on a crisp winter’s evening in January. The culture year exploded into life.

Many local artists took part in the 40 minutes show with Ringo Starr performing his new song ‘Liverpool 8’. There were hundreds of volunteers in the background, working, as well as taking part in

the event. The atmosphere was electric and the architecture was lit up all around making it look like a gigantic theatre. For most people this grand opening ceremony of colour helped to set the standard for the year to come.

and the wings and backstage waiting areas were open to the bitter winter cold. As volunteer performers and backstage volunteers we were not impressed with our treatment in such a sophisticated building. Teething problems were understandable but this was not. What this helped to remind us of is that throughout the year there would be events in which parts of the community would be pushed to the edge.

However in all that we do, we will keep striving for inclusivity for all.

…this grand opening ceremony of colour helped to set the standard for the year to come.

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Resources…

Books and resources reviewed here can be obtained from your local Christian bookshop unless otherwise stated. Methodist Publishing House stock Inspire and Epworth titles and can be reached on 01733 325002 or at www.mph.org.uk

Prayers for good times and grim Martin Manser Monarch Books (2008) £7.99 ISBN 9781854248619 Here is a collection of prayers which seems to cover most aspects of this life in which we find ourselves; birth, school, work, family, illness and death, aloneness and loneliness. There are prayers for other people, the church and our relationship with God. Each prayer has its resonance in the psalms highlighting the desire throughout the ages for communication with God. The unexpected becomes intriguing in the prayers entitled ‘paperwork’, ‘the midlife crisis’ or ‘waiting’. Produced as a hardback, it is lovely to handle and the language is easy to access for personal or group use.

Twenty questions Jesus asked What is he asking you?

Elizabeth Rundle brf (2008) £6.99 ISBN 9781841015682 I didn’t realise that Jesus asked twenty questions of his listeners. He may have asked more but Elizabeth Rundle has chosen this number “to help us wait upon God”. Each question initiated by Jesus demands some response and Elizabeth uses good background knowledge and recognisable situations as illustrations thus helping our understanding. It is her desire that faith is deepened and each chapter ends in a prayer or a reflection. It’s a book to keep close by as the chapters can be easily read and reread first thing in the morning or over coffee.

PunkMonk

The Tenderness of Conscience

New monasticism and the ancient art of breathing Andy Freeman and Pete Greig 24-7 TITLES (2007) £6.99 ISBN 9781842913307

African Renaissance and the Spirituality of Politics Allan Boesak Wild Goose Publications (2008) £12.99 ISBN 9781905010516

This is the continuing story of the 24-7 prayer movement and the effect of prayer on many of our city centres and beyond.

Called the Boiler Houses, the community prayer rooms are a refuge for many who find a place of safety to express their relationship with God in surprisingly creative ways.

They are inspired as they wait on God. The authors compare the progress over a few years with their discoveries about the saints and founders of the monasteries and see similarities in the pilgrim life lived at the feet of Jesus, being of service to all those who cross the threshold. There are astounding stories as they rely on God to show them where to be and how to be. In London there is a prayer room on the site of John Wesley’s first chapel. This is an extremely readable and inspiring book with suggestions of how to allow God to lead us onward in the 21st century. It is based on the community’s Rule, to be true to Christ, to be kind to others and to take the gospel to the nations.

Allan Boesak speaks from the Apartheid struggle and the blossoming of hope for South Africa. He seeks to discover whether the continent of Africa has found a rebirth so proudly broadcasted by President Mbeki at his inauguration. He assesses the rise of Black Consciousness and Black Theology as steps towards democracy and asserts the need for South Africa to be a serious player on the world stage. He is very critical of the historic agenda of the major world organisations in their attempts to sort out Africa. He draws our attention to the emerging economic power bases which are forging a gap between rich and poor countries as well as between the rich and poor within all countries, including Africa. In describing the role of the church in the liberation struggle, he reminds us of God’s desire for justice and peace and that “political passivity is the doorway to misuse of power”. Now sadly and unfairly the efforts of Christians have been largely written out of the official political history and pressure has been brought to bear on Christians to agree to government policy where once they acted as watchdogs. This, he argues, has created a vacuum which needs filling with the hope of the gospel. This is an intelligently argued case for the church, which once gave rise to the protest movement that achieved much, to again find its feet. All who are interested in the state of African politics or puzzled by lack of progress in what was once called the Rainbow Nation will find this a fascinating and challenging read.

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Resources…

Hillytown BISCUIT church

The Meaning is in the Waiting

Story for children aged 6-9 Ruth Whiter Christian Education £4.99 including postage & packing ISBN 9781905893157.

Available from Christian Education, 1020 Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham B29 6LB or editorial@christianeducation.org.uk

The Spirit of Advent Paula Gooder Canterbury Press (2008) £8.99 ISBN 9781853119088

Nancy is eight and three quarters and painfully shy.

Few children attend her Sunday School so when Aniela and her family arrive, Nancy is excited. Aniela is Polish but is so extrovert that language barriers are no problem. They become friends and explore the nether regions of the church building and eat biscuits! But things go pear shaped when their parents fall out and Nancy learns to take a Bible text seriously in order to overcome her shyness and to do what she feels is right.

The ending is quite dramatic and involves a burst water pipe! Ruth Whiter brings together some very recognisable characters and situations. This is her first book, illustrated by herself.

How valuable is Advent? How good is it to wait?

Where is the anticipation? Paula Gooder writes eloquently and with relevance on the approach to Christmas using the traditional candles with their traditional meanings. The long wait of Abraham and Sarah until the fulfilled promise, with all the anxiety and manipulation of events, give us much to identify with in our own human frailty. The stories of the prophets, John the Baptist and finally Mary all add to the picture of waiting. “The waiting is in the meaning” from R S Thomas’ poem makes the waiting as important as the arriving and the meaning of the arriving the most important. It can be used either in sections or daily, a journey led imaginatively and thoughtfully by the author.

A Celebration of Banners Edited and compiled by Ruth Wood and Priscilla Nunnerley Rochart (2008) £12 plus post and packaging ISBN 9780955858208 Available from Priscilla Nunnerley, 9 Chestnut Court, Chestnut Lane, Amersham, HP6 6ED With the resurgence of knitting and needlecraft many churches have revived the banner making group producing hangings for decoration and for special occasions. Many have also found fellowship and fun! This collection from all over the United Kingdom and many parts of the world is a picture book of colour, texture and faith. Each banner is accompanied by a short description by the makers about its’ significance and how it came to be made. Some are very simple with stick-on felt figures and letters, whilst others are more designer conscious and intricate. One was made in an hour. All add something meaningful to the worship area.

From Canada comes a wall hanging made by men and women, fabric painting onto squares and arranged to represent the sky, the earth and the sea. Similarly eye catching is a patchwork quilt hanging of creation made by children from an Aids Orphanage in Kwa Zulu Natal. It is a wonderful, inspiring, beautifully produced collection designed to spur all potential banner makers into action.

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Faith and Fun A Collection Stuart Ferguson Dateline Publishing £9.95 Available from Stuart Ferguson, Globe Lane industrial Park, Globe Lane, Dukinfield SK16 4RE Stuart Ferguson wrote the Advent worship for Magnet 76 and includes the hymns from it in this collection of sketches, poems, hymns, dramas and extras. Written from a characteristic Methodist perspective, we have useful resources for services and meetings delivered with wry humour. Stuart says “When I am at my funniest, I’m very serious.” Living in the Manchester area, he is offering two hours of entertainment of faith and fun. Contact him at stuartentertains@yahoo.co.uk

Kingsway Publishing www.kingsway.co.uk It is worth checking out the new website for Kingsway Publishing. They are in the middle of revamping the company by absorbing others such as Survivor Records, Songs of Fellowship and Children’s Ministry. This should make it easier for the customer to access all their resources. If you register you are eligible each month to download one free copy of sheet music for a song. They have over 2000 MP3 downloads and 1300 sheet music downloads as well as books, CD’s and song books.

Reviews by Sheila Simpson

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The narrow path of unpopularity Carol Hind tells how the persistence of one juror positively influenced the final decision of a jury

Having finally been allocated to a case that lasted longer than half a day, I was keen to consider the case, discuss the matter in detail as warranted and deliver a fair verdict.

My fellow jurors had no such desires. Their main concern was to get out of the jury room as quickly as possible and having already made up their minds as to the guilt of the defendant, proceeded to take a vote before any discussion got underway.

All, apart from two members (myself being one), considered the defendant guilty. The discussion that then ensued concentrated on changing our minds and seeking to justify why such a verdict should be given at that juncture, rather than examining the evidence before making our decision. It was not long before one individual folded.

Although the judge indicated he would accept a majority verdict, my colleagues wanted to bring a unanimous decision. Murmurs about wanting to get home and not wanting the matter to extend over the weekend were made, putting pressure upon me to capitulate also.

Sending silent prayers to God seeking his wisdom and strength, I managed to stand firm and insist the matter be discussed and the evidence examined before reaching our verdict. I was amazed that the other jurors had so quickly forgotten, or were deliberately reneging upon their oath.

As a Christian, I felt obligated to honour my vow, to do my part in ensuring that a just decision (whether guilty or not guilty) was reached. I held firm, raising objections, pointing out discrepancies in the evidence and suggesting we return to court for clarification regarding certain legal jargon that had been used.

Amazingly, having sought clarification, people who were previously adamant the defendant was guilty, now felt unsure. Instead of making a decision based on personal prejudices, or majority pressure, the evidence was looked at and the judge’s explanation of a particular term duly considered.

The new approach meant that after objective analysis and pertinent discussion, only one verdict could be delivered − “not guilty”!

I believe as Christ’s disciple I was given both a test and an opportunity… I was over the moon. Visions of exciting cases passed through my mind in glorious detail Perhaps I (like Esther in the Bible) had been called at that particular time and served on that particular jury for the sake of the defendant but more importantly, I believe as Christ’s disciple I was given both a test and an opportunity – a test as to whether I would take up my cross and follow Christ on the narrow path of unpopular opinion, and an opportunity to speak out boldly in an unjust scenario, influencing the situation for good.

JANE DOWELL

I

’D LONG HELD ASPIRATIONs to serve as a jury member, so when a summons came through the post requiring me for jury service, I was over the moon. Visions of exciting cases (a cause célèbre, charming conman exposed, or crime of passion) passed through my mind in glorious detail. The reality could not have been more different.

Old scales on the justice and peace table in Iona Abbey

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JOAN AND DAVID KOTTLER

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In desperate times Joan and David Kottler turned to the Christmas story for help.

C

HRISTMAS with its story of such simplicity and wonder provides parents with a perfect time to introduce even the youngest child to Christianity. That first wonder stays with us all our lives and most of us became aware of it through the family crib.

Forty years ago when our children were small we were unable to find a crib that had the childlike simplicity we were looking for, so I tried to design one. For several years I made a different one and each Christmas they got better. As a family we loved these cribs and friends too were very complimentary.

Then in the mid-seventies my husband’s business collapsed. He

… my main worry was that I would have to tell the four children that Father Christmas too had run out of money 16

We all set to and made one hundred very simple Nativity sets – Mary, Joseph and baby, a shepherd and three kings. We used our sheets and curtain linings sprayed gold. One friend used the Bach Choir to find buyers and the cribs all sold for £5 a set. We had a wonderful Christmas. It was to be nearly thirty years before the curtains were replaced!

Over the following years I refined the figures and added animals and

stables, above all, always trying to convey the essential gospel story, to make the crib scene both decorative and contemplative. I have tried to show the poverty of the Holy Family, the joy of the shepherds and the majesty of the Magi as they come to pay homage to Christ.

I worked extremely long hours for many years, helped by the children and by my husband who was now working full time. We went to fairs all over Britain establishing a large customer base. Our children have long since left home and we are both in our seventies. We still make about a hundred sets a year and increasingly sell them over the web, sending our Christmas cribs all over the world. Children who grew up with them now buy them for their own children and they are loved and cherished by many hundreds of families.

Joan Kottler, The Pheasantry, Cogenhoe, Northampton NN7 1LS www.christmascribs.com JOAN AND DAVID KOTTLER

The family crib

ceased trading in November; we had no savings and were almost penniless. I thanked heaven for the family allowance, our only income.

I remember my main worry was that I would have to tell the four children that Father Christmas too had run out of money. Friends and neighbours helped in so many ways; we were offered free bread and milk by baker and milkman. Six Christmas cards for each of the children to take to school were posted through the door by a complete stranger on the morning they had to take them.

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Epiphany Jesus, may we not hoard, but freely give the gold of our hearts, the myrrh of our grief, the frankincense of our dreams, to You.

magnet • words: 2005 Š Mary Palmer, taken from Hay & Stardust, Wild Goose Publications (www.ionabooks.com) Used by permission; image: Mark Howard

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Mary’s story An act of worship for Advent written by Una McLean

This act of worship can be led by a leader and several readers. An Advent ring or five candles should be used.

watching me. I thought he was looking for directions, our house being at the edge of town many strangers stopped to find their way, but he only smiled when I asked him.

Preface to worship

I felt uneasy – not frightened – just uneasy at his presence and I told him so. The smile didn’t change as he greeted me by name, told me I was favoured by God and unfolded the divine plan – a baby. I was shocked, what did he mean? I wasn’t even married, betrothed but not yet a wife! Just what was his intention?

The journey we make through Advent is one of the most amazing journeys of the church year. It encourages us to look back and recognise God who is with people through the ages, it encourages us to look at where we are now, to consider human nature and to prepare for the greatest gift given to humanity in the form of the Christ. Throughout the journey we encounter ordinary people whose lives are caught and woven into an extraordinary story and an eternal plan. In this worship we are encouraged to consider human nature and ordinary lives used in extraordinary ways.

Opening prayer Throughout the ages – God Found in creation and creativity, Expressed through the words of the prophets, Promises made and kept, Heard in a child’s first crying breath, Reflected in every breath, every life, Meet with us as we explore your continuing presence among us. Amen.

Hymn

Family Matters Mary’s story: Luke 1:26–38 I was sweeping out the house, helping my mother while she went to feed the chickens in the back yard. I was involved in doing a good job and didn’t hear him come in, so it was with quite a start that I found him standing there,

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“My mother is only outside and my father and brothers within shouting distance and I have my broom!” I held it in front of me.

He smiled and told me not to worry, but I felt no such anxiety, just a warmth of being enveloped in a love so much bigger than anything I had ever known. This was of God, I was sure of that. I sank to my knees in acceptance of God’s will. When I looked again he had gone.

Now though, I am frightened and worried and anxious and all of those other dreadful feelings at once. I know what they’ll say about me, how the fingers will point, and poor, poor Joseph, what will he think? What will he do?

But for now he is not my main concern. I have to face the family first and break the news to Mother and Father, they are to be grandparents. I’m not entirely sure this piece of news will be greeted with the greatest jubilation!

Joseph’s tale: Matthew 1:19–24 Angry is a big enough word for what I felt when she told me. That stuff and nonsense about angels! I felt betrayed, hurt beyond words, alone, exposed, hurting deep inside, bereft, abandoned, washed out and as if the rug under my feet had been jerked away by some divine joker!

I wanted out, to get rid of her, pretend I never knew her, do it quietly, even though I didn’t want her to be hurt. Conspire to keep things quiet and end the whole business here and now.

It was an exhausted sleep when it eventually came, but with the dawn my mind had cleared and I knew that I

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would stay with her. I would marry her for the baby’s sake, give it a name and her a home. I would do it for the sake of a child who had done nothing wrong but just chosen a womb to prepare for life.

your church family reflect your desire to protect and care for others.

Hymn

In a small town with dusty roads and little hope A girl is caught, the fingers point accusingly, The gossips laugh at her talk of angels, They always know better!

A friendly aunt, a loving fiancé…

Meditation: It was ever thus Each reader lights a candle at the end of each stanza; an advent ring may be used.

In an impoverished estate, with UPVC windows and bright facades, A girl is caught because of a desire to be needed, Fingers point and accusations fly.

She did it to get the money, trap the boy, escape from here.

A candle is lit Lord, we remember the many young people, young adults and older people too caught in the trap of poverty, addiction or abuse and their need to be loved and cared about. You came to show love in action.

May your church family reflect your acceptance of others.

Response: Come, O come Immanuel.

A candle is lit Lord, we think of the many occasions when gossip about others has been spread bringing pain and distress in its wake. We recall the part we have played in passing on the message ‘out of concern’ when our words have added to the burden rather than lifting it. You came to show love in action. May your church family reflect unconditional love and caring concern for others.

Response Come, O come Immanuel.

Then later, in the journey through the pain and blood A new face enters the world and greets life, With eyes full of the knowledge and wisdom of the ages.

A child is come, Immanuel.

Response Come, O come Immanuel.

The centre candle is lit Amongst other pot-bellied and stick-limbed children, A girl is caught, beaten and brutalised, The gossips point and disbelieve her story.

She must be the one to blame.

A candle is lit Lord, we remember those caught in areas of political unrest, tribal disharmony and civil strife; those with no food, poor shelter and where clean water is scarce and disease is rife. You came to show love in action. May your church family reflect your willingness to act on behalf of others.

Response Come, O come Immanuel.

Where money is no object and anything is possible A girl is caught through experimentation.

Her family hang their heads in shame And shuffle her off to some distant relative to hide until it’s over.

A candle is lit Lord, we remember the countless thousands who live rough on the streets and in roofless hostels in our towns and cities, those who have left home and family because of abuse, those who have run away to find a better life only to find themselves adrift in a sea of indifference. You came to show love in action. May

Lord, you came in a human form we could understand, showing us love in action. During this journey of advent let us concentrate on the real meaning of light entering the world and on ourselves as reflections of that light, Through our living reactions and actions may others know this Light of the World for themselves.

Response Come, O come Immanuel.

Hymn Blessing: As we travel to meet the celebration of your birth, Guide our thinking, our sharing, our journey, Open our eyes to see you in other people, other situations, Open our hearts to receive and share your love. Amen

A selection of appropriate music: Born in the night Hymns and Psalms God’s Surprise & Heaven shall not wait Wild Goose Worship Group1987 Candle in the window Complete Come and Praise, BBC 2000 Let it be to me & This Child Make Way Music 1988 from The Source Meekness and Majesty Kingsway’s Thankyou Music 1986 from The Source

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Christmas dream Among the shadows of a low-roofed stable the child was born.

No midwife regularised his arrival.

He was hungry and cried.

His mother held him close to feed him; he slept, eventually, and dreamt: and into the shadows merged the hazy lights of a distant glory: echoes of laughter, snatches of song, flashes of colour, glimpses of kingship, rumours of community.

Dream on then: time enough for conflict in desert places, homelessness and pressing crowds, loneliness in the garden, betrayal and pain.

Dream on of times to come: boyhood delights and developing craftsmanship, friends to share the journey, mornings of solitude and prayer; Hands stretched out, diseased, desperate to touch – withdrawn, with wonder, whole; love expressed in death, new life at Easter – work ahead.

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magnet • words: © Alison Pepper. Used by permission; image: Farmers and donkey Ethiopia Asegeda, Tigray © Petterik Wiggers/Panos

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prayer focus

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Rachel is weeping for her children Gail Sheppard

The mothers of the Plaza de Mayo with Néstor Kirchner the President of Argentina show photographs of their loved ones who simply disappeared under a military regime. They constantly put pressure on the government for answers as they parade around the Plaza each week.

• The McCann family, whose daughter Madeleine disappeared from their holiday home in Portugal in May 2007, has highlighted the plight of missing children.

T

HE CHRISTMAS STORY is mostly a very happy one. Even though the holy family are refugees and their baby is born in poverty, the wise men and the shepherds come with presents for the baby king and all is calm, all is bright.

Not so a few days later when ‘A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning.

Rachel is weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted because they are no more’ Matt 2:18

It is ‘Holy Innocents ’day, 28 December, when all the boys under two years of age in Bethlehem and its surrounds were put to death because Herod was so afraid for his throne.

Rachel’s cries are the cries of so many people, men and women around the world who have lost their children.

Some have lost them through illness, some have lost them because they have run away, some

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have lost them because they have been abducted by the government of a brutal regime, some have lost them to unscrupulous traffickers of women and young children.

Even today there is much weeping for the lost children of this world: • In the earthquake in China last summer a whole generation of children was lost, due to the ‘one child per family’ policy • The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo are Argentinean mothers and grandmothers who, with their white handkerchiefs, visit the Plaza every Thursday and

For further information Compassionate friends: Those who need to talk to someone about the loss of their child, grandchild or sibling should call our Helpline on 0845 123 2304.

53 North Street, Bristol BS3 1EN United Kingdom Information and support info@tcf.org.uk Also see Talking points p3

Pray for • Bereaved parents as they live with their grief; may they find comfort.

• The mothers and grandmothers of Argentina that they might find some answers and feel at peace.

• Parents whose children have run away, because of a family rift, that they may make contact and begin the healing process.

• Parents whose children have been taken from them for purposes of trafficking that they may be given support and love when they need it most.

• The children of this world, so that they may know God’s love and care for them in their difficult situations.

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T

presents series of contrasts that contain all the pain and joy that is life, bounded by life’s bookends of birth and death. The contrasts (other than ‘a time to be born and a time to die’) offer us a choice, and it is in making those choices that we learn wisdom of life, and begin to know ourselves and God better.

HIS PASSAGE

There is so much in these 8 verses – let us just focus on one ‘contrast’ from verse 6, using the words from the Message: “A time to search and a time to count your losses; a time to hold on and a time to let go.”

Having gained something we tend to want to keep hold of it. Yet we know that some of our most precious possessions are those that we have to let go.

As parents, we know there comes a time when we have to begin to let go of our children, begin to allow them to make their own decisions and even to make some of their own mistakes.

It is the same for relationships.

People grow and change, yet sometimes we just don’t know when to let go and move on. So it is with our material possessions. We hoard, yet logic tells us we don’t need it, but we keep it, just in case!

Hanging on to things means we have to find somewhere in our hearts, mind and homes to keep them. That causes us to become cluttered and full, tired and lifeless.

We are no longer open to what life has to offer. We have made our choice and now we have to live with it!

Perhaps what we need to be doing is only hanging on to those things that are truly precious and give us life and joy, whilst letting go of that which confines us and causes us grief. Letting go, not only in our personal life, but also in the life of the church and of the wider community.

Seasons of Life The

A study taken from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 written by Debbie Hodge who works for Churches Together in England

Pause for thought:

Let us pray

• In my life is there something that is weighing me down – can I let it go and let God? • In the church and in the wider community what are the things we need to value and affirm?

• What are the things we need to let go of and lose?

Lord of life, give me the courage to let go of that which causes you and me grief and pain.

Give me the patience to hold on to that which cannot be let go and to that which brings joy and love.

In all things give me the wisdom to know the difference. Amen

bible study

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Watercolour by Kjell Walfridsson, a Swedish former social worker, who lives with Parkinson’s disease, paints, writes poetry and makes music.

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LILY’S FAMILY This is a story of life: divorce, illness, disability, single parenting and separation. There is no complaining, no railing against God, no self pity. Starting back in the First World War, this family – like many others – continues to pull together, upholding and passing down positive values of faith for living which are deeply embedded. Researched by Tricia Creamer.

LILY is 95. Lily’s father Fred was killed in the war of 1914, leaving her mother to raise Lily, with another child on the way.

She was faithful to the task, involving them all in the local church and Sunday school.

When Lily and her sister both got married in the mid 1930’s Lily’s mother found a new partner, Tommy, a friend of Lily’s husband, Roy.

LILY’S FAMILY AT CHRISTMAS Sheila makes the Christmas cake to a recipe which is handed down through the generations. Glenys makes the Christmas pudding and all the family stir it. This takes about a week – each member of the family stirs the pudding and writes their name into the Pudding Book.

The book has been going for the last 30 years.

For me Tommy was like a lovely brother, a friend of my husband’s, in the same cycling club and the same age as he was. He did not move in as a lodger until my sister and I were married and my mom had a spare room. He was unmarried and they became partners.

SHEILA: My dad had the most wonderful sense of humour – he was the life and soul of parties.

He was musical, playing both guitar and banjo.

Family events with his brother and sister were always loud and fun. George Formby ruled!

Being the youngest I spent many days walking with him in the tiny Shropshire village of Abdon, visiting friends and neighbours many of whom relied on him. His input at our local tiny church was immense; he was the bell ringer, so as a family we never missed a Sunday.

Lily and Roy were married for 48 years and had three daughters – Wendy, Glenys and Sheila.

GLENYS has three children Claire, Abbie & Sam

WENDY lives in Ghana and comes home often to the family.

I believe our positive family attitude stems from my grandma who introduced her children to religion at an early age. My mum, Lily continued going to church with my dad, where she arranged the flowers. Now an energetic 95 year old happily living alone, she helps in her local Methodist church; it’s a great support for her.

Prayer has given us the confidence to know that everything will work out fine, and it always has.

Smiling, laughing and having fun are parts of all our personalities. I think the most fun I ever have is when I holiday with my mother and sisters; we laugh from breakfast to bedtime!

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My Sam is eight years younger than my daughters. His dad left when he was 18 months old and my sisters acted as extra mums for him. At 18 he had saved his money to buy a motorbike but after only 2 weeks he had a very bad accident: he received severe head and spinal injuries. It was a huge change to his life, but that didn’t stop girls liking him!

In 2007 Glenys was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was given between 1-5 yrs to live.

Even with this diagnosis and the treatment, she has remained astonishingly positive and happy.

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THE FAMILY TREE MAY m FRED (Fred killed in war in 1914)

LILY m ROY

WENDY m/d (now lives with SETO)

GLENYS m/d (now married to SPENCER)

CLAIRE

BILLY

NIAMH

MAIDIE

ABBIE

POPPY

JOACHIM is Sheila’s son. He has written about his second cousin, Holly.

I am the oldest under 18 year-old in our family.

Holly is my second cousin, and I get on with her like a sister. She’s bright and talented. As she has grown up I can see her becoming a sophisticated person, with nothing but success in her path.

Being so close to her, I intend to be there for her as she makes her way through the world.”

SHEILA

SAM

HOLLY

JOACHIM

The names of people who made contributions are in BOLD

HOLLY, Billy, Niamh, and Poppy are Lily’s great grandchildren, Holly (12) tells us her thoughts about her cousin Billy (8) He’s a lovely cousin, bit shy, but makes people smile. He’s got blonde hair and I think he looks like the milky bar kid. He likes sport, especially football and supports Liverpool but I support Chelsea so we argue about who’s best. He is also a good swimmer and diver and a very fast runner – faster than me; he’s funky.

SAM: I remember being at first school, coming home for lunch and it always being ready for me to eat. Whatever I did, mum always had a smiley face there behind any reprimand and I knew she loved me. She encouraged me to do my best in everything.

When I was paralysed in 1996 in the motorcycle crash my mum really showed her true colours, visiting daily with my dad even though the spinal hospital was an hour away. During the difficulties I have faced since, she has been a fantastic support. I have often been low or upset, but she is always so cheerful and happy, that she manages to make me feel better and see the positive side of life.

SPENCER: After her divorce from her first husband, Glenys married Spencer. He writes about his step-daughter, Claire.

Claire was 12 when I met her mum. It was a difficult time for both of us. But we worked through and gained greater understanding and mutual respect for one another.

When she married I was surprised but so pleased when she asked me to give her away. I was nervous and really wanted to make a good speech for her big day. She and her husband now have three lovely children. I am very proud of Claire.

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LINDA JONES

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I have a wonderful new adult relationship with my children. Nothing is lost and everything gained. “All in the end is harvest.” wife”, one remarked to me. “It`s not as though our daughter is dead”. No, but some men, like Graham Taylor, the former England football manager, fall apart with grief, though it has to be said that they are in the minority.

The empty nest Facing up to our children growing up and leaving home

by Shelly Bovey

T

EENAGERS!

They crash around the house with their mess and their noise, they eat you out of house and home and leave your radio set to Radio One, so that when you turn it on expecting the sedate tones of Radio Four you are nearly blasted out of your mind.

You trip over their trainers and find strange bodies asleep on your living room floor. In short, you feel your house is not your own.

And then they are gone. No matter how much you have longed for this moment, or planned everything you would do when finally that

you are also saying goodbye to an era and losing one of your main roles 26

responsibility is over, you may feel a devastating sense of loss. For some, this feels like a bereavement, and this is a word often used by parents when describing their feelings of grief when their children leave home.

It is not surprising if you consider that you are not only losing their vibrant (if trying!) presence, you are also saying goodbye to an era and losing one of your main roles. Even if you have a thriving career, you can feel totally redundant because a large part of your identity – being a hands-on parent – has been suddenly removed.

Fathers tend to react in one of two ways. “I don`t understand my

There are helpful and constructive ways of dealing with these powerful emotions. Keep in touch with your children – but don`t phone too often! In these days of electronic communication, sending a regular letter, the occasional card, articles or snippets of interest from papers or magazines will all help to keep the bond intact.

Try to fill the gap in your own life.

A new hobby, maybe even a course at college or an evening class can open new avenues of interest and excitement. Some parents even enrol on a degree course and it`s never too late to start a new career.

And if you let them go, I can promise they will come back to you. I know, I was a grief-stricken empty-nester and now I’m the proud granny of two babies and I have a wonderful new adult relationship with my children.

Nothing is lost and everything gained. “All in the end is harvest.”

shelley Bovey is the author of The Empty Nest: When Children Leave Home

Pandora, HarperCollins, London, 1995 ISBN-13: 978-0044408987

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Winter blessing When sleet blinds you, hail drowns out voices, and snow hides your path, may you discern in each flake a star, image of the one that guided the Magi, and find that in the pain of birth, death or change there is a light to guide you.

magnet • words: 2005 © Mary Palmer, taken from Hay & Stardust, Wild Goose Publications (www.ionabooks.com) Used by permission; image: Cold sunrise © Konstantin Anisko/istock

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your letters

magnet Winter 2008

Thank you to all our contributors. What do you think about this issue’s theme and articles?

Please write to the editor at Magnet Letters Page, Methodist Church House, 25 Marylebone Road, London NW1 5JR no later than 3 December. The editor reserves the right to select and edit letters. Opinions expressed are not necessarily the opinions of the editor.

With reference your Editorial in the Autumn issue of Magnet together with the contents of publication. I did find inspiration and enhancement as the subject of Peace and Reconciliation is poignant, a subject with which I have been closely involved for some years. I paint Peace Crosses with watercolour flowers which are now despatched worldwide to areas of conflict, social unrest and to the sick and bereaved. Some, in large ornate frames are to be found in Cathedrals, churches, local schools and other establishments.

George Walter Cater MBE

This is just a note of appreciation from an elderly housebound Methodist for the Autumn edition of Magnet. I found something to interest or inspire me on every page. I have sent it onto a daughter in law who I think will be interested. Thanks and God bless you all.

Mrs Vera Curnock

I have been a member of the Corrymeela Community for over 40 years involved in all the work of the Community in many parts of the Province and in my own community.

The project you covered (Autumn 2008 Magnet Peace & Reconciliation Page 8) is not a Community project but one that uses our facilities. I have just

returned from a weekend where the members, around 150, are struggling with what is our role in the new socalled peace but where sectarianism is still a major problem. Indeed research has shown it is alive and well especially in the churches. We do so much more than having family or youth groups for a holiday, which does happen in the summer but they are holidays with a difference. Diversity in many ways is experienced and discussed.

Ada Kertchie, Corrymeela Community The Corrymeela Community is an independent organisation, a charity and a community that has been around for over 40 years and running its own cross-community, school, youth, and family programmes both at the Centre in Ballycastle as well as throughout Northern Ireland. It is an ecumenical community encompassing all ages, backgrounds and traditions, committed to the healing of social, religious, and political divisions in Northern Ireland and throughout the world.

I McDonagah (Coleraine)

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“Children cannot do any wrong until we show them how” For The poet Wordsworth writes: The soul that rises with us …

Cometh from afar, not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God who is our home: Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

Shades of the prison-house begin to close Upon the growing boy.

Let’s do this quiz together From Ode: Intimations of Immortality written March 1802 − March 1804 A child enters the world to be parented by imperfect people. The raw material that is the child is affected either favourably or adversely by the people and the circumstances surrounding it. A child ‘…trailing clouds of glory’ cannot do wrong until it has an

We sometimes set children up to fail when we give them impossible choices and expect them to succeed

30

JANE DOWELL

your debate

magnet Winter 2008

awareness of right and wrong. This is learnt; it varies from family to family, generation to generation, culture to culture, religion to religion.

close as children watch, learn and copy behaviours of those around them, some good and some not so good.

Jane Dowell

Right and wrong is something one arrives at with perception. Babies have the basic need to be loved and to be comfortable therefore they discover how to fit into their birth community so that these needs are met. We don’t come with ready made behaviour patterns but with a desire to survive in the community into which we are born. We learn how to fit in.

Jesus said “If you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened round your neck” Matthew 18:6

Initially children are not troubled about right or wrong. This can lead to the inappropriate challenging / crossing of accepted boundaries.

We thus observe the “shades of the prison-house” beginning to

We sometimes set children up to fail when we give them impossible choices and expect them to succeed in the choice they make without them having either the experience or the social / moral tools to deal with the situation. If they don’t succeed ie make what we consider to be the right choice, the words ‘naughty’ and ‘disobedient’ soon creep in.

Mother of 3 small boys

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Against The pure, newly born child beginning to take in its new environment grows and develops as a full and rounded human being through its relationship with the adults who will care for it.

A child without human contact will not know what it is to be fully human which includes the capacity to make choices. In the process of making choices a child learns what is right and what is wrong.

Laws teach all of us what is right and wrong. A child growing up in a world that is governed by law, whether religious or secular, uses the legislative material to inform them of right and wrong. Children behaving in ignorance, cannot be called bad because they have transgressed when they did not know they were doing wrong.

(Romans 5:13 “sin is not reckoned when there is no law.”)

Human beings have been given the potential for making choices and are gifted with blessings as well as curses. When our choices take us down a wrong route we have other human beings who help to restore us. Human beings are more likely to search for the good in children rather than teaching them what is wrong.

It is not easy to definitively say that all wrongdoing is learned behaviour but we can say that even as small children we make choices which usually are the right ones.

When they prove to be the wrong choices we have learnt from them.

It is then up to the child, as it is to the adult, to decide what they do next time round!

Margaret Sawyer, London “Trailing clouds of glory do we come from God who is our home” wrote William Wordsworth; inferring that children are born in a state of purity. This is not so.

Infants carry potential for evil as well as good. Babies come into the world as typical human beings, fighting for life and demanding to be fed. As they grow they attempt, craftily to manipulate their parents so they can have their own way.

Good parents will not suppress this survival instinct but lovingly temper it, teaching and guiding the child until it develops those qualities which enable it to become a capable, caring social being.

Dorothy Woo, Sheffield For the first ten weeks of a baby’s life, its activities are controlled by the reflexes which are in its brain from birth. However, during these first ten weeks, the baby’s cerebral cortex has developed, under the influence of the baby’s experience of life, from a blank sheet to a powerful thinking machine.

The consequence of this is that, around week ten, the baby’s cortex is powerful enough to rebel against the rule of the reflexes. Consider, for example, the baby’s instinctive reflex to turn and look at anything passing in front of it. After ten

KING’S COLLEGE HOSPITAL, LONDON

magnet Winter 2008

weeks the cortex is powerful enough to fire a signal along a new connection to jam the signal controlling this reflex. For a moment the baby’s gaze is stuck.

But with the reflex turned off, the baby’s cortex seizes its moment and takes control. From now on, every time the baby turns its head, it is because it wants to.

So if at some later time the baby does the wrong thing of turning its head to look at the sun, then it is because the baby wants to, perhaps because of curiosity.

One question remains, is this evidence for or against the motion?

My feeling is that it is against.

Inspired by the documentary film, ‘Body Story’ 2001 Keith Austin, Sheffield

As they grow they attempt, craftily to manipulate their parents so they can have their own way.

have your say… by December 3rd The motion in our next issue is, ‘If we believe that power corrupts and that the meek shall inherit the earth, then Christians should not be working in positions of power.’

Instead of a debate in the Summer 2009 (Heroes and Heroines) issue, we are asking you to nominate a modern day or everyday saint and tell us why. What qualities make them so? Are the gospel saints still appropriate in the 21st century? The deadline is Friday 27 March 2009 by post to the editorial office or via the website.

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magnet Winter 2008

Only as old as you feel Jacqueline Shirtliff

A

“I didn’t realise you were twelve years older than me.”

I looked at Jane, brimming with the confidence and enthusiasm of a woman in her mid-twenties, and felt positively old.

FEW MONTHS AGO I was chatting with a good friend of mine when the subject of birthdays came up.

“Wow!” said Jane.

“Oh well,” I replied, trying to sound as up-beat as possible, “you’re only as old as you feel, aren’t you?”

Jane, six months pregnant and running around after a lively toddler, hesitated for just a moment. “Yes,” she sighed, “and these days, when I crawl out of bed in the mornings, I feel like I’m ninety.”

MARK HOWARD

And that’s just it, isn’t it?

Whatever people see on the outside is rarely how we feel on the inside. Perhaps you suffer from the same illusion as I do?

In my mind, I am still the same girl today that I was when I was 18 years old. It’s only when I look in the mirror or do a heavy morning’s gardening that I have to recognise that I’m no longer as young as I was! It took me a while to realise that the same is true of almost everyone I meet, and that inside every woman is a girl.

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Picture the scene: a busy young mum slips late into church. There’s a baptism party today so she has to sit right at the back, next to a lady

who must be in her eighties.

They’ve smiled at each other before, but never spoken.

After the service the lady introduces herself as Eve. They begin by chatting about the service, and before they know it Eve is telling how she came to faith in the revival that hit the local churches sixty years ago. She tells how she served in the mission field in Africa; how she got married and returned with her husband to England to raise her three boys.

She tells how she started a mums’ group to encourage other young women to grow in their faith and how (she giggles as she remembers) she was once arrested for protesting outside the local cinema, because it was screening a film she thought blasphemous. She says she’s not so active these days,

…she was once arrested for protesting outside the local cinema, because it was screening a film she thought blasphemous.

but that every morning as the children and parents pass on their way to school she waves, and prays for each one. They talk until after everyone has left for coffee and the organist has packed his music away. Finally Eve says she must go – her taxi will be waiting.

That, for me, was when the penny dropped. No longer did I see a white-haired lady on the back row, but an amazing woman of God, a woman with a girl inside, just like me. And the next week, as I scanned the faces around me, I knew that behind every face of every man and woman was a story, if I could just take the time to listen, and that it isn’t how old you are on the outside that matters, but how young you are on the inside that really counts.

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Persistent God Persistent God you are no respecter of old age and you never have been.

You called so many people long after others had assumed their useful lives were over.

Never-ageing God, When growing old in your service seems to be a very tiring process, Help us to remember the challenges you gave to these older people.

Abraham was asked to move to a new country and take on a new name.

Sarah had her child long after it was thought possible.

Moses grew tetchy and weary leading rebellious people on a wilderness journey.

Elizabeth was far too old to be the mother of John the Baptist, but that didn’t stop you from choosing her.

And how rapidly Mary must have aged as she realised what was happening to her son, Jesus.

Teach us that we are never too old for new experiences.

Forgive us when we use our world-weariness to dampen the enthusiasm of youth.

Remind us that though we may be lacking in energy, they are not.

Keep us young in heart and spirit, even if our bodies protest, for your world is a place of active love and all of us can be involved in that, whatever our age.

magnet • words: Marjorie Dobson © Stainer & Bell Ltd, from Multi-coloured Maze, reproduced by permission; image: Leila Thomson tapestry All paths lead home photo © Charles Tait Photographic Limited

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magnet Winter 2008

Retirement reflections On the buses

by Peter Gambles

A

by the experts to prepare for retirement, how many of us give it very much thought?

LTHOUGH WE ARE TOLD

The DVLA however had not forgotten my advancing years! I received a letter pointing out that my driving licence was due to expire and I would have to apply for a new one.

In future I would need to renew it every 3 years! I had to answer numerous questions and if I wished to drive a minibus I would need a medical. Am I really about to fall apart? It then hit home − I had nearly reached my three score years and ten. Should I order a Zimmer frame and expect people to help me across the road? I don’t feel old but it seems that others have a different opinion. So how do I feel about retirement from PAID employment? After all I

have been working for some 50 years. Perhaps I should ask my wife how she feels. There are still the various voluntary jobs I already do and I seem to recall that more men (why just men?) are required on the grass cutting rota at my home church. The church lawn mower is a sit-on one with a steering wheel, really an old boy’s toy that has to be driven on the public highway as it is garaged a short distance away. My wife reminds me of the list of jobs requiring attention – does one really go back to 1964? I hope retirement will be a time when we can do more things together. I enjoy walking, I have a great interest in computers and transport and I hope to take time to catch up with reading.

The transport interest has been stimulated as we can now travel throughout the country on buses free of charge. Does it matter, when you are retired, if the journey takes a week to get to Cornwall and involves changing buses numerous times? Retirement from PAID employment is going to be a new challenge and if I am honest I am looking forward to it with a little apprehension!

A space to live another life

by Jane Dowell

“Y

OU CAN’T RETIRE,

you’ve so much yet to do here.” So said the head teacher at my appraisal 5 years ago.

Yes – there is still much to do, but not only in education and not separate from my husband, as working life usually was. Here we are now, in retirement, part of a community working to create L’Arche homes in our locality for people with learning disabilities and continuing to give respite care for two lovely young ladies. We are fair trade agents and I do the occasional supply teaching which enables us to travel, for the first time in our lives, to places which enrich us and give us resources to work for justice and fairness in ways we could never have dreamed possible.

Then there is our continued involvement in the church, gardening, reading (the bliss of reading what we like, when we like!) and having time and space to develop our creative interests.

34

And yes, if I include the task of being a Magnet editor, life is full.

Without a set timetable, so rigid within education, choices must be made and the diary organised but not filled for the sake of filling it. A friend, so different from me, at the same stage in life, reminds me to take space to sit and think, to slow down and wait on God. But, as the Head said, there is still much to do: joy of all joys, we are grandparents of (by the time you read this) eight grandchildren. They have all arrived in the space of eight years overflowing into our life with fun and laughter and unrelenting youthfulness.

Retirement has indeed given us space to live another life and pause and give thanks for it.

ANTON DOWELL

COURTESY OF FLINT COUNTY COUNCIL

An anticipation and a reality

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magnet Winter 2008

All God’s children are gifted and talented HELEN BELL

Gail Sheppard meets Revd Helen Bell, chaplain of Rosehill School

A

FEW MONTHS AGO I was given the invitation to attend a circuit meeting. These can often be dull and laborious, with discussion about finance and how we can revitalise the churches we belong to. What a surprise to see that the invitation asked me to attend Rosehill Methodist Community School.

I went along and prepared for a heavy evening as I was met at the school door by a teacher and several eager young faces. The youngsters were lined up in twos awaiting the arrival of their guests.

They were very excited and desperate to show me around.

From the first moment I met them they were chatty and animated, obviously very proud of their school and especially of the Reverend Helen Bell, It was a delight to see what can be achieved in a deprived area with a little help from people who are committed to the wellbeing of the school and its children.

The Revd Helen Bell, the school chaplain, continues the story “All God’s children are gifted and talented” is the school motto at Rosehill Methodist Community School. But it’s more than the kind of seldom-used stuffy Latin sayings

of my school days – this is the ethos by which everyone at Rosehill works and learns; it permeates every aspect of school life.

Rosehill is a two-form entry (up to 440 children), voluntary controlled primary school in Ashton-underLyne near Manchester. The present school building was opened five years ago after the amalgamation

of two schools – Hurst Infant School and Hurst Methodist Junior School. Over the past five years we have done a lot of work to bring these two separate schools and staffs together, enjoying the new

The school motto

Some of their little lives are very complicated and difficult and school is their safe and stable place.

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magnet Winter 2008

The key is to discover that gift and to celebrate it!

As the school chaplain I’m not only there for the children, but for the whole school community. The chaplaincy is a real team effort with an army of volunteers, including parents and church folk from right across the Ashton Circuit who spend time in school each week.

building with all its many facilities and getting used to being school in a new location and in a new building.

Working at Rosehill is a complete joy, although the ministry can be very challenging at times. A high percentage of our children live in some of the most deprived households in the country and a quarter of our children are on the SEN (Special Educational Needs) register. Some of their little lives are very complicated and difficult and school is their safe and stable place. The whole school staff and the governors wanted to create an atmosphere at Rosehill that will show each child that she/he is special, precious and unique. So we devised an ethos map, setting out our aims and how we were going to achieve our goals in every aspect of school life. This ethos map continues to be a living document, used, revised and constantly updated.

The school motto “All God’s children are gifted and talented” draws inspiration from the Department of Education’s “Every child matters” initiative and

… it feels like being part of an enormous, exuberant, excitable and complicated family, with all the highs and lows of family life.

36

strongly echoes the school’s Methodist heritage.

Not all children are academically talented but they are all good at something, whether it’s being a good friend, making people laugh, excelling at sport or in some particular hobby. The key is to discover that gift and to celebrate it! We have a praise assembly each Friday to applaud the children in their giftedness, giving them heaps of praise and affirmation throughout the week.

Of course all children need boundaries and rules for their behaviour and our golden rules system ensures that everyone sings from the same good behaviour hymn sheet! This all draws on the theological understanding that we are created in God’s image, of forgiveness, restorative justice, reconciliation and new beginnings with God.

They help out with a wide range of activities – hearing children read, running lunchtime and after school clubs, being a school pen pal or teaching the children to knit (there’s a surprisingly long waiting list for this club!). I am totally indebted to these faithful, committed folk who week after week give up their time to come into school. Their very presence sends an important message to all the children – you are special and we enjoy spending time here with you at Rosehill. I know too that the benefits to the volunteers are immense!

Working at Rosehill is an enormous privilege. It’s simply a great place to be! Most of the time, it feels like being part of an enormous, exuberant, excitable and complicated family, with all the highs and lows of family life.

Sometimes of course we make mistakes, but in all things we are committed to constantly reminding the children that “All God’s children are gifted and talented.”

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New candles New candles, satin-smooth, unmarked.

Anonymous.

Untouched by life.

Beautiful in unsullied innocence?

Burning candles.

Dribbling wax.

Marring pristine beauty?

But, characterful.

Individual.

Enhanced by the ravages of use.

So with old faces, etched with life.

No longer satin-smooth anonymity, But characterful.

Pages of life’s journey.

Beautiful images of God.

magnet • words: Ros Murphy. Used by permission; image: Johan Swanepoel/123RF

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magnet Winter 2008

Diary Dates November 9 Remembrance Sunday 16 Prisons Sunday 23 Women Against Violence Sunday 30 St Andrew's Day (Scotland's National Day) 30 Start of Advent December 1 World Aids Day 21 Winter Solstice shortest day of the year 25 Christmas Day (Bank holiday/Public Holiday) 26 Boxing Day/St Stephen’s Day 31 New Years Eve/Hogmanay [Scotland] January 2009 1 New Years Day 6 Epiphany and Covenant Sunday 18 – 25 Octave of Prayer for Christian Unity 25 Burn’s Night [Scotland] 26 Chinese New Year 27 Holocaust Memorial Day 31- 8 February Poverty and Homelessness Action Week February 2 Candlemas 8 Education Sunday 14 Valentine’s Day 24 Shrove Tuesday 25 Ash Wednesday beginning of Lent March 1 St David’s Day [Wales] 6 International Women’s World Day of Prayer 8 International Women’s Day 17 St Patrick’s Day [Ireland] 22 Mothering Sunday 29 British Summer Time begins 29 Passion Sunday April 5 Palm Sunday 9 Maundy Thursday 10 Good Friday 12 Easter Sunday 13 Easter Monday 23 St Georges Day [England] May 3-9 British Red Cross Appeal Week 10-16 Christian Aid Week 19-23 World Federation of Methodist & Uniting Church Women European Methodist Women’s seminar themed ‘Be Salt Be Light’ at the Erskine Bridge Hotel, Glasgow. The full programme will include speakers, Bible studies, workshops and skills sharing, plus various forms of worship, early morning prayers. Alison Adam will lead the music. The cost will be about £325 per person.

More details and booking forms from Jill Baker, the Unit Correspondent, (before 16 January 2009) on ejillbaker@btinternet.com.

Where is… My God? Is my God here with me, sleeping in my box?

The ice and wind howling around, outside my box for the night.

I have no mountains valleys or fields to see my God like you, Only tower blocks and slums with people running through.

Is my God here with me, lonely and oppressed?

Sick in pain without a home, no food or place to rest.

I had a friend who had one arm, poor and homeless like me.

She said "God is with us both, sleeping here, under this tree, too!"

I went to church the other day but I just couldn't get in.

The people were in their Sunday best and didn't see me waiting.

It was the church where I used to go but no one would remember that.

I’m just that old tramp and they would rather take in the cat.

Where is my God? Can I find God in you?

Or are you only seeing God in the early morning dew?

God is outside with us! Feeling the frost and the snow.

Not locked up behind church doors or hanging on church walls.

God is Life and Life is God! So minister to us, too!

For we are outside the church And feel, the same, as you.

Hyacinth Sweeney published by Feather Books 1999 used with permission.

In your next issue of magnet…

The power and the glory In the next issue the debate is ’If we believe absolute power corrupts and that the meek shall inherit the earth then should Christians be working in positions of power?’ This is what The Power and the glory theme will explore. Is power good or bad or is what people do with power the real issue?

We all have power within us but sometimes we don’t know its strength until we are tested. Many of the articles will address these topics and challenge our thinking about power. We focus on icon painting and learn much about these wonderful images of holy people. These are not merely works of art, they can become guides to spiritual thinking. We focus our prayers on the powerful (national leaders) and the powerless (those in living in poverty often under tyrannical powers). If these topics interest you then do read our spring issue. We value your opinions so let us have you views for the letters and debate pages.

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ing 22 ipp

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Way Please give generously to support the Fund for World Mission The Easter Offering Service is prepared by Women’s Network with the help of Mission Education. This act of worship enables the whole Church in Britain and Ireland to give to the work of the 61 Methodist Partner Churches overseas. © Trustees for Methodist Church Purposes 2008

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The

Offering 2009

Easter