Special Thanks to our Staff and Judges Professor Lopez Bell Cadenza Staff Editors A’mera Bellamy Kendall Bines Ashley Brewster Audrey Davis Jade Ensley Selection Committee Tayler Hodges Professor Shane Mickey Judges Ken McLeskey Will Harlan
Congratulations Writing Winners POETRY
First Place The Daughter of Spring | Hannah Jarvis Second Place When You See Me | Abby Wilkerson Third Place I Just | Indy Rotondo Honorable Mention Frustrations of a Broken Man | Marcus Orta PROSE
Welcome
First Place You Don’t Know | STH Second Place Cersei’s Story | Taylor Hedrick Third Place The Blue Ridge Mountains Are Not Your Home | Jamie Jennings
* Indicates prize pieces throughout the magazine
III
Congratulations Art Winners Photography First Place Catalyst | Brandon Abranches Second Place March’s Taste of Summer | Jayson Moorman
Painting First Place Moon and Lanterns |Denise Benson
Drawing Welcome
First Place Breaking the Silence | Sarah Stewart
Graphic/Digital Drawings First Place Serenity | Zehr Gibbs-Barger Second Place Introspectrum | Johannes Waals
Sculpture/Cloth and Textile First Place She Votes | Danielle Fant Second Place Power and Poise | Zehr Gibbs-Barger
EDITORS’ CHOICE Leo | Anthony Flores
IV
Directory
Somber
The Lost | Ezra Frazier........................................................................1 *Introspectrum | Johannes Waals.........................................................1 *Frustrations of a Broken Man | Marcus Orta....................................2 Woman Made of Glass | Marcus Orta..................................................4 I Think I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings | Kendall Bines.................4 Lighthouse At Dusk | Denise Benson...................................................5 The Sunset | Josh Hager.......................................................................5 Winter Sunrise | Sharnel Friedrich.......................................................6 Alex | Anthony Flores...........................................................................7 Don’t Judge Me | A’mera Bellamy.......................................................8
Welcome
*Leo | Anthony Flores..........................................................................9 Naysayer | Indy Rotondo....................................................................10 De Arch Welder | Johannes Waals......................................................11 Salizaar Scrapbass | Johannes Waals..................................................12 Social Inhalations | Johannes Waals..................................................13 Catalyst | Brandon Abranches............................................................14
Dreamweaver Pianos in Heaven | Kimberly Wells....................................................15 Jam Session | Kendall Bines...............................................................15 *Moon and Lanterns | Denise Benson................................................16 With or Without | Josh Hager.............................................................16 Dream | Anthony Flores.....................................................................17 A Meeting with Destiny | Hosanna Guess..........................................18 *Serenity | Zehr Gibbs-Barger............................................................19 As Time Falls | Claudia Chandler......................................................20 As Time Stops | Claudia Chandler.....................................................20
V
When It’s Really Cold | Marcus Orta.................................................21 Misty Ridge | A’mera Bellamy...........................................................22
Breath of Air *The Blue Ridge Mountains Are Not Your Home | Jamie Jennings...23 *March’s Taste of Summer | Jayson Moorman..................................24 Smoky Mountain Guardian | Jayson Moorman.................................25 *I Just | Indy Rotondo........................................................................25 Fawn’d of Cameras | Jayson Moorman..............................................25 “There They Went, Here They Come” | Indy Rotondo......................26 Mid-Flight | Gracie Comer.................................................................26 *The Daughter of Spring | Hannah Jarvis.........................................27
Welcome
Belle | Sarah Stewart..........................................................................27 *Power and Poise | Zehr Gibbs-Barger..............................................29 My Favorite Garden | Chandler Adams.............................................30 A Colorful Capitol | Jayson Moorman...............................................32 Seeded | Brandon Abranches..............................................................33 I Like This Circle | Michaelee Jones..................................................34
Magnolias I’m Sorry I Seem So Distant | Trinity Pendleton................................35 If You Need Me I’ll Be In Space | Ashley Brewster...........................36 Red Hair | Emma Vaughn..................................................................37 Lady in Blue | Danielle Fant...............................................................37 Queen Cush | Audrey Davis..............................................................38 ABC You and Me | Jamie Jennings....................................................38 Firing Squad (Spare the Rod) | Kendall Bines...................................39 *Breaking the Silence | Sarah Stewart...............................................39 *When You See Me | Abby Wilkerson................................................40
VI
Fluke | Kendall Bines.........................................................................40 The Domesticated Dinosaur | Sarah Stewart.....................................41 Emydidade | Sarah Stewart................................................................41 *You Don’t Know | STH.....................................................................42 Embrace | Sidney Lail ......................................................................43 Falling | Trinity Pendleton.................................................................43 I Used to... | Bailey Beeman...............................................................44 History | Eriana Ansley.......................................................................44 Dear Joy | Catherine Valera-Ruiz.....................................................45 *Cercei’s Story | Taylor Hedrick........................................................46 *She Votes | Danielle Fant..................................................................50 We Vote | Danielle Fant......................................................................51
Welcome VII
Somber
*Introspectrum | Johannes Waals
The Lost | Ezra Frazier Not all who wander are lost The ones who are lost can be found They can be found with a powerful bond But the buttons are bound To the door to the ones who are lost Loosen the buttons to open the door Wander through the dreary woods To get to the door of the lost Find the key to the door Unlock the door with the golden key The door unlocked, To the chamber gates you must go At the chamber gates shadows mock Demons phase through you Find the light to break the gates To find the broken lost!
1
*Frustrations of a Broken Man | Marcus Orta It’s just so stupid. I was so done. I was so very frustrated. My time was number one. I was playing so bad Not just bad But so much worse than the best I’ve been able to do Is there even a point? If so, what is it? I could never know, What do I know, All I do is fidget.
Or is it because I can’t focus on one of the biggest exams I have because I still have a class worth of work to do? Is it lack of preparation? Or is it simple anxiety and nervousness? Can I even do anything about that? Would it even help to “try again?” When I know I can do so much better But failing kills my confidence And makes it so much harder All my hard work Worthless Because it’s not worth trying again And I should give up Because it’s not even my ability at that point, it’s just me. I’ve learned it all but it’s never good enough Idk what it takes.
Each and every. Single. Damn. Time. And look at my reward. The same as everyone else in the end. I didn’t even say what was going on in my head Maybe I thought something that could maybe justify my performance Something that can let someone give me another chance, or some comfort room Anything really. All because I don’t know if it’s worth it.
Somber
I was so frustrated Because I didn’t even know why I didn’t even know who or what to blame Lack of practice? No sleep? Stressful morning, day and night for the past month? The loss of focus due to ADHD? Or to someone skipping half of class and getting off the hook, even being let out early
Idk what it is that makes me feel like such a failure for even trying. Average isn’t good enough. I shot for perfect.
Does it matter that I thought in my head how frustrated I was That I was trembling when it came time to act That I was so, so much worse than anticipated Could I even ask about how to fix that? Do I even *deserve* better? It’s just so stupid. I was so done. Over and over. I screw up everything I thought I was confident about. Even in the places I perfected. I didn’t get it I never asked a week later Or even today I didn’t explain my weekend then, or today. Or how little sleep I got. Or how I know for a fact that I’m better than this. I was so frustrated In times like those I forget I have ADHD and maybe it’s not my fault. But I feel like it is so I don’t even bother asking for extra time.
2
I mean nobody else will. So I messed up and I was so angry But much less Because I felt dead I was slowly numbing myself I wanted to break down I wasn’t failing But it was so much worse than what I hoped Planned Expected Was prepared for This sure as hell would not make up for failing grades And yet I still never asked to make it up or try again
Somber
To try anything again I couldn’t I heard a faint “happy holidays,” And packed up. And I left without saying goodbye I walked slowly onwards. Wanting to cry Feeling ready to But I wasn’t heading to practice I wasn’t going to be alone I’m going to become cold, and I did And I’ll stay that way, and I did, even when inside. I was cold, lonely, sad, depressed, and no longer frustrated. Because I feel so worthless and like there’s no turning back And yet I wrote this. I sat here, wanting to be warm and to be able to cry by myself. I want some emotions. I can’t have any of that. I can’t even catch a break I hate how I want my life to be over for a different reason every day Why does nothing work out... Why did I hope that she would notice and cut slack... Or that she’d at least ask what’s wrong...
3
And give sympathy or empathy if she can’t give a good grade? Literally everything But no I’m depressed. And I feel like it’s my fault for being this way And for performing like that Despite the fact that I would never burden anyone else in this same way. I wouldn’t hold anyone else but me too these standards and I don’t even know why. I just wanna cry And because I can’t I want to die
Somber
Woman Made of Glass | Marcus Orta
I Think I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings | Kendall Bines Here I sit, locked in my room An introvert on house arrest Destined never to leave Covid has us cooped up Nothing for me has changed. Time marches on. I’m just counting the days. We’re all caged birds, Or maybe we’re sitting ducks All birds of a feather. We’re forced to take a step back Hopeless, we stand in awe When will the storm cease. I think I know why the bird sings, Trapped alone in its cage, the bird seeks freedom. Paranoid and powerless, we all seek the answer, To hear that the problem’s solved.
4
Somber
Lighthouse At Dusk | Denise Benson
The Sunset | Josh Hager I wonder if it sees Brighter things ahead. I wonder if it conceives the world as if it were a step ahead. Conversing with the flocks, The journey Adjacent Chasing after A flame beyond brilliance I stare off into the sunset Just like many have done before Puzzled as ever As if it’s different than I’ve seen before. It knows something I’ll never know And I’ll never come close Dusk is so magnificent Displaying the pallet it chose
5
Somber
Winter Sunrise | Sharnel Friedrich
6
Somber
Alex | Anthony Flores
7
Somber
Don’t Judge Me | A’mera Bellamy
8
Somber
*Leo | Anthony Flores
9
Naysayer | Indy Rotondo
I live and breathe for the people that didn’t believe I could do it. I bobbed and weaved the negativity because my destiny was great and I knew it. I just pray these kids don’t break and have to understand how I went through it.
Somber
I deplore the people that didn’t expect more as they lay helpless on the floor, but I raise a hand to pick them up because they say a loser should never be sore — or — I pray they experience new light as they learn to take off, fly and soar, but if they don’t then crash at sea and float to the forbidden shore. I can’t feel for them because their decisions were poor. I can’t save their sin — I wish they could’ve felt a win, but a battle of blame only makes you rot and melt within. Stop pointing the finger and watch your envy and hate cease to linger. I understand the feelings abrupt — can corrupt — and have you feeling stuck, but if you still try to interrupt my flux you won’t survive in my ringer. Dead in my vision and in the background an opera singer. Everyone’s been killed before, but I’ll never be killed again. I always knew what was in store and the treasure I had within. I pray that you learn what this life entails and eventually you can prevail. But for now you sit stale because bringing me down was another goal you couldn’t help but fail.
10
Somber
De Arch Welder | Johannes Waals
11
Somber
Salizaar Scrapbass | Johannes Waals
12
Social Inhalations | Johannes Waals Breathing deep the pings, dings, & notifi-things; coating the lungs in soothing tars of social feedback. Souls wither as egos blossom under clouts of fickle spotlight; purely nourished by repeated hits of empty vanity & endorsement. One puff elevating any voice beyond high heavens, infesting minds a billion; while inhaled burns rip the self through hell, tearing lives down permanently.
Somber
Anywhere possible friends are seen, families, & strangers all the same; heads engulfed in glowing blue clouds; smothering any atmosphere. The choking second-hand effects witnessed across every neglected face; whole generations devoured, perpetually consuming one another. Breathe deep the pings, dings, & notifi-things; for highs be fleeting & rehabilitation painful
13
Somber
Catalyst | Brandon Abranches
14
Pianos in Heaven | Kimberly Wells I hope they have pianos in heaven, For one day I will die, And on that day, I want to play, A piano in the sky. I know this isn’t certain, But I really hope it’s true, Because, you see, it’s not just for me, I want a piano for you. I want to hear the keys,
Dreamweaver
One night by the light of the moon, I’ll look your way, and then I’ll say, “Granddaddy, play me a tune.”
Jam Session | Kendall Bines
15
Dreamweaver
*Moon and Lanterns | Denise Benson
With or Without | Josh Hager Would it be absolutely awful If I was alone again? Cause I’ve found I developed most When I’m without friends. Would it be a little sad For no one to have my back? Well, if I put myself against the wall, Then forward’s always the right track. I love my self down to my core. But of course I want someone else more. I’m cool, content without a spare hand. I’m just scared of being lonely. I don’t wanna go there again. I’ll miss those late-night drives as we Explored the city lights. Saying that “We’ll make them ours.” Well, I guess now they’re all mine.
16
Or the ridges of the earth As they cut into the sky. The sun rises only for me now And puts fire in my azure eyes.
Dreamweaver
With or without, I’m used to it now. The ups and the downs, I’ve figured it out I’ve gotten up once before And I can do it again Remember, there’s fire in my eyes And contentment is the wind.
Dream | Anthony Flores
17
A Meeting with Destiny | Hosanna Guess (Lyla awoke at 6:53 AM, precisely seven minutes before her alarm. She completed her morning routine in the exact way she usually did: Shower, eat, brush teeth, makeup, hair, get dressed, and feed Columbine, her pet hamster. When she finished, it was 7:35, 25 minutes until 8:00, which gave her plenty of time to drive to her job and be on time. As she was preparing her case files, an intense feeling of tardiness suddenly entered her mind. She paused, “I have no meetings set up for this morning, nor do I have any court dates to go to, but I feel like I am forgetting something, something important I need to get to.”)
Dreamweaver
Lyla knew that she was late, very late, to an important meeting. She rushed down the steps of her house in a formal black dress, her shiny black pumps clicking on the pavement as she moved at a quickened pace. She entered her car and drove off in record time. As she stopped at a red light, she thought, What meeting am I late to? Not remembering the cause of her haste. “Well, dear, you’re late to your death,” a calm, ominous voice from her backseat explained. Lyla spun around instantly in her seat, frightened by the voice, and saw an imposing figure wearing a black hood covering their face. She could not identify if the speaking voice were male or female, though she did note that the voice had a soft but menacing tone to it. “Who are you?” Lyla asked in a hushed tone as she dug her nails into the palms of her hands to stop them from shaking. She did not see it, but when the figure spoke next, she knew it was smiling. “I’m here to collect a package. For my job, you see.” She frowned in confusion. “There are no packages here,” she said with growing fear as her heartbeat increased. In response, the figure pointed a hand made entirely of bone to Lyla’s rearview mirror. At exactly 7:48, an 18-wheeler truck, whose driver had lost control of the wheel, slammed into her from behind, killing her instantly. The figure disappeared as quickly as it came, before reappearing once again, watching as a young man got into his car. “Time to collect another package,” it thought cheerfully before disappearing again.
18
Dreamweaver
*Serenity | Zehr Gibbs-Barger
19
Dreamweaver
As Time Falls | Claudia Chandler
As Time Stops | Claudia Chandler
20
When It’s Really Cold | Marcus Orta no food no water no hope and it’s getting cold but love all this Love keeps me warm And It never grows old Well, here and there, It can get tough. But with God here, and your care, There will always be enough.
Dreamweaver
I may be cold I may be broke And it may be raining outside But at times like these All I need is you And I’m here for the ride Your love, Our Love It keeps us warm It ignites the flames They raise higher and higher They soar to the sky And now you’re getting tired This love Which I have for you It will never grow old Because I know it’s true Yes, I may grow old But love will light the way So when it’s really cold I am here, and here to stay
21
Breath of Air
Misty Ridge | A’mera Bellamy
22
*The Blue Ridge Mountains Are Not Your Home | Jamie Jennings
Breath of Air
Barbara and Keith sitting next to me at the overlook are bundled like the firewood sold at the gas station at the top of Three Mile. Their cherry-colored Nissan Rogue is littered with three grandchildren stickers and one faded Florida Gators sticker. The toothless gator looks like old man Herman at the local antique store. As Barbara reaches for her phone, Clinique’s “Happy” pollutes the air. If they were to wear any more clothes, I would have mistaken them for Mildred the bear, who many tourists visit each year on Grandfather Mountain. This happens every year, cars piled into cramped overlooks like children dressed in their Sunday-best, lined up by class to take their annual yearbook photo. I want to tell them that these mountains are not that spectacular, as I see them rolling beyond the horizon every day as I commute to work at one of the overly priced lodges that smell like benjamins and fancy face powder. I have lived here for twenty-one years, and these mountains look the same to me now as they did when I was a child. But, the Blue Ridge Mountains are not your home, so the thought does not reach the air. They watch as I sit on the same rock wall as they do, the same place where my father got down on one knee and asked my mother one of life’s big questions. The rocks under my hand are warm from soaking in the sun’s rays. The clouds dance off the backs of the rolling blue mountains, a ritual shared by the two lovers for a millennium. The breeze barely kisses the pines, tempting them to sway to the wind’s soft beat. Barbara and Keith glower at me in arrogance, Keith’s eyebrows resembling the moss growing in between the cracks of the ancient stones. Barbara’s thoughts pour through her eyes much like the fierce water that flows into Linville Falls, how can someone local not appreciate the beauty of God’s creation? It’s like all of these people live under a rock, maybe even these mountains themselves. My own thoughts come creeping out of every pore of my body, reaching out like the many evergreens touching the sky. Well, lady, many of us do not have the time or money to leave this place. This is our place, our fortress, our comfort, our family. If you don’t like us, then leave. These Blue Ridge Mountains are not your home. Those last words tickle my lips, but I’m stopped in my tracks as I watch the mountains open wide to receive the warm embrace of sunset. The two hold onto each other tight, like mother and child, the mountains putting the tired sun to bed. I look over to see that Barbara has lowered her phone, screen dark from non-use, like the dark sky quickly approaching. I feel the stone under my hand once again as I watch the sunset, my hand touching the same stones, sharing the same moment, as millions before me. I want to stand tall like the ancient mountains before me, and bellow “THESE MOUNTAINS ARE MY HOME,” but my pride leaves me as Helios pulls the sun below the cobalt ridgeline. These are the moments that last with us forever, and perhaps these Blue Ridge Mountains are home to everyone.
23
Breath of Air
*March’s Taste of Summer | Jayson Moorman
24
Breath of Air
Fawn’d of Cameras | Jayson Moorman
Smoky Mountain Guardian | Jayson Moorman
*I Just | Indy Rotondo
25
I used to pray that history books would etch me, but now I just want happiness — hoping that they forget me. I feel strung from every dime and somehow, someway it’s my soul they’ve been collecting — it’s perplexing — but — on to the next thing — In hopes of finding peace because my mind is never resting — I’m on a search — will it work? — it seems my heart isn’t connecting. Out of my reach the love is too far — I just hope after each battle someone can fall in love with my scars
“There They Went, Here They Come” | Indy Rotondo How many of you know me? Not when I was on stage, but in the nosebleeds — “Oh please, I supported the whole time” — Lies, your words aren’t even worth nickels and dimes. It’s fine, I’m happy I demand support now — but don’t act like you offered a hand when I was ready to drown — Don’t act like you took a stand when I was the joke of the town — And don’t act like you went searching when I was nowhere to be found. Suddenly the tone has shifted — The vail’s been lifted — Now they bear witness because I learned to heal — I can see who’s real and who I should offer forgiveness — The hate was on the surface, but the love was concealed.
Breath of Air
I guess that’s what life is cursed with — as people converse with — your right to appeal — and how am I to feel? I stay determined, but it’s a slight deterrent to be treated right only if your glory is current.
Mid-Flight | Gracie Comer
26
Breath of Air
Belle | Sarah Stewart *The Daughter of Spring | Hannah Jarvis I am the daughter of spring, birthed in May of a mother winter-born and I, too became a mother in the spring, cradling March’s daughter with melodies of lullabies, I sing. I sang to birth and swayed with the gentle breeze, dancing to the music of life with ease and tulips blossomed to celebrate the infant’s life as the sun shone a beacon through blooming Dogwood trees. But, spring’s rejoice halted and ceased and her gentle breeze grew angry and her fury increased. The sun’s beacon dimmed and grayed, destroying dreams with ends torn and frayed.
27
For the year has past and one life must be taken, for spring must sweep her under so sudden; so fast, leaving her daughter of spring lonely and shaken. Her mother of winter, a memory of the past. And so, the daughter of spring curses the sky, alone with the infant of March, no grandmother by her side-and she looks to the flowers picked from the soil, echoing her mother’s name as they wither away; leaving behind countless tears, marking spring’s turmoil, and somehow in the cool afternoon air, she can hear the whisper of her mother say:
Breath of Air
Daughter of spring, live for me. Be strong for your daughter and remind her of me. Be happy again, for I will visit you in your dreams. Wipe away your tears and smile. I promise I am okay. The wait is worth it even if it is just for a little while. Even though I feel a million miles away, I promise we’ll meet again-One sweet spring day.
28
Breath of Air
*Power and Poise | Zehr Gibbs-Barger
29
My Favorite Garden | Chandler Adams My favorite garden can be found in his face Roses live in his cheek bones Azaleas live in his lips Queen of the night tulips live in his pupils Chocolate cosmo flowers make up his eye color You may ask how I keep up with such a beautiful garden The answer is water Sunlight And love Flowers in a garden need support to grow Support in their decision making Support when they grow big and tall Support when they feel tiny I will never forget to water my favorite garden Water is the support my favorite garden needs to be the best it can be
Breath of Air
Flowers in my garden need to shine To feel important To feel alive The words “I’m proud of you” Such a rare statement Makes the flowers in the garden feel so warm This spotlight may make them nervous But they need to learn how to shine I will always make sure my favorite garden has sunlight Sunlight gives a needed confidence to my favorite garden Some days my garden feels connected to me Some days my garden needs space Needs air to grow Needs time to think Needs a day to reflect on its growth Sometimes these days are hard for me But I know my garden will always be there for me Some days my garden needs me To care for it To pull the weeds To spend individual time with each flower To check on their well being I love these days I will never forget to love my garden Love is the greatest gift I can give to my favorite garden
30
Breath of Air
“The Importance of Having Your Own Garden” You cannot give yourself everything in this world That’s why you need a garden A group of flowers That you give love to Love that you may not be able to give to yourself You make your garden happy And your garden does the same in return An emotional escape is very beneficial Watching something grow because of you Is a feeling like no other This garden Can be any type of garden It can have the same type of flower It can have any flower in the universe You just have to care for your garden For each flower For each individual leaf For each petal This garden can be from anywhere This garden can look like anything Your garden should be appreciative for your care Your garden should love you back Your garden should teach you things you may not know Things you didn’t know about yourself Your garden should give you support Emotionally and spiritually Support even your most far fetched dreams Your garden should challenge you Challenge you to be the best version of yourself Your garden should always be there for you
31
Breath of Air
A Colorful Capitol | Jayson Moorman
32
Breath of Air Seeded | Brandon Abranches
33
Breath of Air
I Like This Circle | Michaelee Jones
34
I’m Sorry I Seem So Distant | Trinity Pendleton I’m sorry I seem so distant I cannot resist this I’m stuck in my mind I am lost inside I have this temptation that I have to answer to this depression I know I am not alone but I am just at my low
Magnolias
Still i am pushing on For them I have to be strong And for me this is only the beginning I feel like i am finally winning I may have my downs And i may even frown, But i will be up again Trust me this is not the end
35
Magnolias
If You Need Me I’ll Be In Space | Ashley Brewster
36
Magnolias Red Hair | Emma Vaughn Red hair flowing in the wind, Like a fire burning in the night, Falling around her sharp face, Endless tight curls, Emeralds in place of her eyes, Piercing through your soul, Mesmerized by her beauty, Her tall black heels, Black clothing, She is mysterious, To what is she hiding, She tries to keep to herself, She is a tiger, To stay out of focus, Yet she’s the only thing in my focus, Her bright red hair, Like a fire burning in my eyes.
37
Lady in Blue | Danielle Fant
Magnolias
Queen Cush | Audrey Davis
ABC You and Me | Jamie Jennings Animals in Discovery Channel. Bananas in bread. Cutlery on the couch does more than “forking.” Eagerness is for beginners. Forgetting what the first time was like, God… Wasn’t that embarrassing? How did we end up here? I remember being loved and left behind-jumping to conclusions. Kisses between eyelashes, tears unshed. Lips to lips, lovers to liars, coming together with our two bodies in Motion. The physicality, the rhythm between us, more musical than a composition No more sad songs for us to share. This musical has closed its curtains. One day, the story of our love will be shared with others Perhaps, one day we can look back and laugh for calling it quits too early. At least we can say we didn’t end in tragedy like Romeo and Juliet, love far less understood between the two. Somebody to Love will become our song To our future selves. Undone once we find those more valuable than the gems of the Earth. Wanton desires burned out like wildfire, ‘xactly the way new growth begins. Now we’re just Zoo animals locked up in cages, deprived of our true nature.
38
Firing Squad (Spare the Rod) | Kendall Bines A sudden crash, silence no questions asked Boys quick to snitch, ratting each other out. Silence deafens the room, Pops is picking his poison. Switch, belt or a broom Any one spells certain doom. A sudden pop from the belt The signal to get in line. Waterworks won’t save you now, No use in wasting your breath. With every strike follows a yelp, Looks like no one’s left.
Magnolias
After the dust settles, And all of the damage dealt A horn blares, empty stares Another beep, it’s the signal to get outside Our sentence served we’re given ice cream, A bizarre punishment, it’s bittersweet.
*Breaking the Silence | Sarah Stewart
39
*When You See Me | Abby Wilkerson
Fluke | Kendall Bines
Magnolias
What do you see when you see me? Do you see a woman Do you see a little girl A black female Or a brown skin girl A brown skin girl with skin of gold Or a girl whose skin should be brighter like the sky Not so dark and dreary, right? Do you see a woman with hair full of curls Or a head full of tangles and naps Or do you see it as hair slayed like a nubian queen Do you see a girl who can change the world Or a person in society that should be banned from the only home she has ever known Does her actions even qualify her as a black woman even though she endures the same as her people Do you see someone who’s always guilty no matter what, or someone who should be treated like everyone else That girl you see is so much more than the color of her skin She is more than the stereotypes that are inflicted upon her people that have that same smooth like silk chocolate skin When she looks in the mirror she sees a beautiful, smart, kind, worthy, and strong black woman She knows that every step she takes, every obstacle she overcomes, every person she proves wrong is an opportunity to make her ancestors proud That girl you see, she takes pride in her skin and her culture And with every day she prides herself in the fact that her skin and passion for her people is something no one can ever take away
40
Magnolias
Emydidade | Sarah Stewart
The Domesticated Dinosaur | Sarah Stewart
41
*You Don’t Know | STH
When I envision a drunk I do not see my father, despite the fact that the definition fits to a T. People envision busted lips and bruised faces when they think of an alcoholic father, but I see someone who
was preyed upon by genetics and temptation. I see vodka bottles being lobbed through glass windows because my sister has had enough. I see a mom who just wanted to keep the family together because she could not stand the thought of her daughters growing up in a broken home like she did. You do not know what it is like until your dad just is not himself anymore, and you look back on the years wondering how many of them he actually remembers. And you hope and pray that one day addiction will release its black, sticky tentacles off of the man who is supposed to protect the family. But for now, you tiptoe into the house, investigate the air for notes of sweat mixed with vodka’s sickly aroma, and stare at your dad knowing that any day the addiction can creep back in through an open window and snatch him back into the dark, depressing abyss that is addiction. I stare at the brown lazy boy and imagine that he is missing from it. I just hope that addiction is not the reason that he leaves that chair empty.
Magnolias
I watch as his hands begin to tremble like he is shivering, but it is not cold outside. He struggles to write, and the tremors remind me of Jack and Rose shivering in the frigid water after the Titanic sank. I imagine people saying it isn’t a disease, they chose to pick up that bottle, but they have not seen what I have seen. I want to scream back he never would have drank if he knew it would turn him into this. But I see no point in arguing. I can see his face flush red as if touched by the cold, but I know that the cold has not caused this flushing. Soon his words become harsher and more grating, as if someone has flipped a switch. This is not the father that I know. I know the man who would bundle up in a brown Carhartt jacket and go sledding with my sister and me until after the sun set in a crimson orange. I know the man who jokes around with my cousins at family gatherings in the cozy house next door because they do not know what he really is.
42
Magnolias
Embrace | Sidney Lail I do not love. I cannot hold in my hands the feeling of love, So I have been conditioned to think it does not exist. People believe in God like that. Yet I have held men and women and those in between, with gazes and kisses and comforters. and I have been held So many times. Perhaps I have had love within my grasp, but I’m just a nonbeliever. Yet you have made all the difference. Be my chapel, my confessional, my priest and maybe the word of gospel can finally make sense.
Falling | Trinity Pendleton I was fine one second but once I took a step back to see what i have done, to see what will happen. I realized I’m on the edge of a cliff. I can’t move my feet to run the other way. I only know one thing I can do and that is to jump. I can’t think I just need to do this maybe I will land softly. I close my eyes one last time and I took a deep breath and I jumped I could feel myself falling I have nothing to grab I’m just falling I open my eyes and see all the people I need but I lost I want to go back but I can’t I already jumped and now I’m falling when will this end how will this end I have no clue how close I am I’m just falling I had already jumped now my heart is pounding my head is racing what did I do how do I stop this am I going to regret this I jolt up in bed and realize it was all a dream...I look around my room and I see I did mess up...I did something I can never come back from I jumped and now I’m falling and this time it’s not a dream.
43
Magnolias History | Eriana Ansley I Used to... | Bailey Beeman I used to be afraid, Scared to trip and fall over The crack that is society. I used to be worried That I would never be enough for her level of propriety. I used to be at war Struggling and fighting for adoption into her family. I used to be afraid but now I know That there is more to me. Now I know that I am loved And I know that I am worthy. Now I know that I am imperfect But I wear imperfect perfectly. Now I know that I am broken But someone thinks of me beautifully. I used to be afraid but now I know That society doesn’t have Anything on me.
44
Dear Joy | Catherine Valera-Ruiz Where did you go? You left me completely alone. Unattended, I drowned. I’ve had to learn how to breath underwater. How do I remember you? I’ve been brainwashed by the water you let me drown in. I remember how you look but not how you feel. Why’d you let her take me in? She embraced me with her destructive voice. She taught me to believe in her lies with comfort. I learned to sit still.
Magnolias
Why can I not speak truth? I’ve gone mute. They ask me for truth and I can only spill lies. I guess I learned it from her. I have become a great actress. How can I feel attacked but invisible? Every eye in the room can see me but they cannot see me. I hear them but they do not speak. I feel them through the air angled above me. Staring me down. Do I cave? The orange bottles call me. The red cups call me. The brown papers call me. The grounds call me. Why do I stay? The others could never see the flowers that would grow around me with the beauty I imagine. Do you hear me? Yes. Will I see you again? No. Bye. WaitBye...
45
*Cercei’s Story | Taylor Hedrick
Magnolias 46
been drawn to it as most children would be, pulling away from her mother’s grip on her hand and darting over. The kitten had already been picked up and wrapped in her coat by the time Iseldis caught up. Their eyes met, warm brown meeting the pleading gaze of her daughter. The silent question on the girl’s mind did not need to be asked but… “You have to ask your father.”
Magnolias
Cersei shoved the door to her father’s office open with far more force than was necessary, and certainly far more than was expected of a six-year-old girl. Her mother winced behind her, shooting her (rather disturbed) husband an apologetic but extremely amused look. He did not look up from his papers. “Dad!” Cersei called, quickly making her way over to his desk. “I found a kitten and I want to keep it, but mom says I have to ask you if I can keep it so can I keep it?” she questioned without pausing for a breath. She plopped the small mewling bundle down atop the man’s papers. This was, apparently, the push he needed to finally look up. The sight that greeted him was… well… ugly. The kitten was still dirty, its fur clumped in damp patches and a few spots completely missing. One eye was matted shut, the other just barely open. He scowled at the thing. “Cersei,” he started with a sigh. “You can’t--“ the words died on his lips as he met his daughter’s gaze. So sad and young… and so much like her mother who was very pointedly staring (not glaring) at him from the doorway. He was silent for a moment. “You can’t… can’t…” Cersei’s eyes widened ever so slightly. He groaned, resting his forehead against his hand. “Keep it in your room,” he finally muttered. She immediately grinned, scooping up her new kitten and turning back to her mother. Iseldis placed a hand on Cersei’s shoulder, guiding her out of the office and leaving her husband to clean up the mess that had become of his paperwork. He was likely annoyed. She made a mental note to point out just how happy this kitten made their daughter later that night. The kitten settled in well. Cersei had made sure (demanded) that it was fed only the best food possible, a task she insisted on doing herself despite the servant’s protests.
47
It developed into a particularly healthy tom cat. The missing patches of fur filled in within the first few weeks as it slowly began to put on weight. She had named it Sputter for its habit of hissing and spitting at anyone that was not Cersei or her mother. The cat did not stay in Cersei’s room. Not even close. It followed her around as if they were attached at the hip, sleeping curled against her head each night. It hardly ever strayed, perching on walls and nearby furniture anytime it decided proximity might not be the best idea. It was never out of sight.
Magnolias
Cersei, as it turned out, was very interested in magic. The kind that produced flame. Sputter was not. Cersei was eight when she lost her second pet. She woke late at night to the sound of angry caterwauling and cursing. Jerking up, she was greeted by the site of two strangers in her room. Sputter was doing as all good cats should do and defending the one who gave it food. Cersei screamed. Sputter hit the far wall with a loud thump. Guards had the two intruders pinned to the ground within minutes. They were hauled to their feet. Sputter did not get back on his feet. Cersei was escorted to her father. He held her close with trembling shoulders and gasping breaths, not crying because dads were supposed to be strong so he could not be crying… but he wasn’t not-crying. Later, Cersei learned that Mom did not get back on her feet either. Cersei certainly was not crying. She was still eight when she discovered that life without mom and Sputter was lonely and her dad really did not know how to do the single parenting thing. She followed him down the halls feeling like she was being mostly ignored as he closely examined the letters in his hands. They reached his office. She attempted to follow him inside.
48
He paused, turning to look at her. “Cersei… please go play somewhere else. I have so much work to do,” he muttered, before promptly shutting the door in her face. He did not slam it. Dad never slammed anything. It sure felt like he had, though. Cersei was nine when she decided that she wanted a friend more than a pet.
Magnolias
The young kobold with the collar that the servants found her playing hide and seek with in the lower levels of their home was removed rather swiftly, returned to the mines where such lowly creatures belonged. Cersei did not miss the disappointed frown her father directed at her. Cersei was twelve when she began to wonder if she was just invisible. She loved her father dearly, and he obviously loved her… but he seemed to only give her attention when he needed to prove to some dignitary that he did indeed have an heir and that yes, the king had promised to pass Orefrost on to her, keeping the regency within their lineage when her father inevitably passed away. Or at dinner. Otherwise, Cersei was left to her lessons. “Yes father,” should not have been the most common thing she said these days. Cersei was thirteen when she found the baby snow owl half frozen to death in the cold. She wrapped it in a blanket that she pulled from her not running away just taking a trip bag and returned to her room through the window. When the servants questioned her about the bird in the morning, she simply told them that it flew into her window during the night. They fussed at her for having it open in the middle of winter. Cersei shrugged and suggested that they should pay more attention to her. The bird survived. She named it Winter. Her father decided not to ask questions.
49
Magnolias
*She Votes | Danielle Fant
50
Magnolias
We Vote | Danielle Fant
51
CADENZA