“Worth” byTayler Hodges Why are you so hard on yourself? I watch the question suspend in the air like a balloon And I think of what answer to give that is pointy enough to rip it out of the air. Why am I so hard on myself? How do I tell him that it started in 3rd grade? When the boys berated me about my body When they introduced me to a word that I know too well Fat, obese, overweight No matter what word they use They all sting the same The age of 12 When the doctor dared to use the word “diet” He talked about my weight as if I didn’t Already know that I was different The bullies made sure of that To this day I hate going to the doctor It’s not due to a fear of phlebotomists Or the stench of sanitizer It is the guarantee that He will comment on my girth. He does it every time. I came in to be treated for strep He points to the scale in the corner I came in to talk about my anxiety He admires my abdomen
25
