Volume 27 Issue 6: Afterglow

MARS’ HILL

Afterglow

Art vs. Soup

Activists turn towards soup and syrup to garner awareness for climate issues.

Volume 27, Issue 6 11. 30. 2022.

The Year End Survey

Student perspectives on the past year and hopes for the future.

Jean-Paul

Spartans women’s basketball coach talks 100 wins with the team.

Editor-in-Chief

Welcome, dear reader, to the final issue of Mars’ Hill of 2022.

What a whirlwind of a semester it has been! I have certainly felt that, at least. Between running this paper, staying on top of my courses, and maintaining my commitments to my department, I have scarcely had time to breathe. That “Under tow” that we talked about earlier this year seems more real than ever. However, here at the end of November, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The end has come at last.

We chose this issue’s theme, “Afterglow,” to signify endings and taking stock of the year that is coming to a close. Entering into this time of reprieve, I find myself reflecting upon the past year and the Christ mas season to come. In our “Year End Survey,” we take stock of the student population at the end of the year: our highlights and lowlights from the year, our opinions on what has passed, and our dreams for what is to come. Over in Arts & Culture, we say goodbye to voice actor Kevin Conroy and reflect on the legacy he has left behind. Over in Humour, Bailey Froese and their contributors set their sights on the coming Christmas season with some excellent works of Christmassy satire and humour. In Sports, Julianne Jones writes about the accomplishments of TWU women’s basketball coach Cheryl Jean-Paul and her road to 100 wins with the team.

But that is not all! In News, David Witzke takes on the strange ongoing cases of artistic defacement related to climate change, and Diego Bascur and I write about the chaotic ongoing FIFA World Cup. In Opinions, Rea Klar and Sarah Demian share their experiences at the recent UN Climate Change Con ference in Sharm El-Sheikh, Egypt. Meanwhile, back in Arts & Culture, Carson Bird writes about the confounding first season of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Merry Christmas! See you on the other side,

MISSION TO MARS

The mission of Mars’ Hill, as the official student newspaper of Trinity Western University, is to inform and entertain its readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the TWU community, and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members in accordance with the Community Covenant, Statement of Faith, and Core Values of the University.

MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of Trinity Western University located on the traditional ancestral territory of the Stó:lō people. Floated with funds raised by the Student Association, Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and relevant student publication, reflecting and challenging the TWU community, while intentionally addressing local, national, and international issues

EDITORIAL POLICY

Mars’ Hill encourages submissions and Letters to the Editor. Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit submissions for style, brevity, and compatibility with the Mission, the Statement of Faith, the Student Handbook, and the Core Values of the University. Anonymous authorship of any material may be granted at the discretion of the Editor-in-Chief. Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill belong to the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, Trinity Western University, its officials or its Student Association.

Seth Schouten

Ava Gili Cheif Copy Editor

David Witzke Arts & Culture Editor

Hope Evans News Editor

Juilianne Jones Sports Editor

Sadie McDonald Opinions Editor

Bailey Frose Humour Editor

Berk Berkeliev Staff Writer

Diego Bascur Staff Writer

Jared Klassen Web Editor Zaeya

Tomiwa Oyedokun Photographer

DECLASSIFIEDS

Too scared to ask out that hot girl from Rels class? Have a thought you’re dying to share? Did a professor say something strange or funny? Do you have some information that you want to get out to the student body? Whatever it is, the declassifieds are here for you. Submit yours at www.marshillnewspaper.com/declassifieds

conservative men look better than liberal men - Saher Habash, 2022

MY BATTERY IS ALMOST DEAD

my battery died

“Some people have fun coding and that’s okay!” -Todd Dutka

Why does the neufeld door require the hulk to open it. casually sweating

Seth. I wanna see how you in terpret these emojis: [Italian hand] [two wrestlers wrestling] [beans] [Christmas tree] [sloth] [bacteria] [Japanese dolls] [up arrow] [up arrow] [up arrow] [up arrow] [up arrow] [purple square] [mute] [joker card] [pirate flag] [cool sunglasses] [screaming cat]

Editor’s Note: I did my best. —Seth

keep it up. don’t let fned be dead (like the egg. Kyler is sad we had no egg last month)

Amid the busiest part of this semester, I found Bailey Fro ese’s niche article to be the exact comic relief I needed.

I love the muppets and I love making fun of Twilight. Thank you deeply.

Male bromances can be too powerful sometimes…

Dr. Husbands the community notice’s your absence from TWU’s events.

tsk tsk tsk Y’all are building Andrew’s ego up to much let’s bring it back down.

Trinity’s vision is not to equip students but to break your spirit into submission.

And it feels like I’m watching my childhood dreams just fade and die Oh, we grow older But never learn to say Goodbye….

If you name the Fraser sil verfish, they’ll gross you out less. Shoutout to Timothy, Zeubulan, and Xenon—I love you lil creepy guys <3 Dogs > Cats.

DEAR STUDENTS WHO NEED TO SAVE MONEY: if your computer breaks and your peers tell you “just buy a new one, there’s a better model anyways. You’ve had that for what, four years? A new one is overdue.” BULL SH— I went to Simply Com puting in Willowbrook and within 2 days they figured out the problem and gave me a new computer of the same model for less than $300 and transferred everything over for me. Do not fall for that 20 year old computer guy who thinks he knows everything and thinks we all have cash floating around; there are better options than a brand new laptop.

What would you choose: to have social credit or integrity?

God’s grace and Tolkien Tuesday memes are the only things getting me through each week.

Rhyme of the week: More dead than alive at twenty-five

Good evening Mr President, I have a quandary for you. The heaters don’t work in the older residence buildings on campus, so would you be a dear and come deliver the wrath of hell to my apartment? We deserve it I promise.

The fragility of TWU’s ad ministration is laughable, but the leadership has created deep pain and suffering in our community.

Someone should write an ar ticle about why people keep throwing food at paintings, that would be super cool.

Bagel?

Mars’ Hill? Why not Ares Mountain or Tyr’s raised loft or Bellona’s Multistory Duplex?

Try to print this emoji hah! [REDACTED]

I dont know what I would’ve done if your shirt didn’t remind me that your blonde. Lord forbid I mishaircolour you mayonnaise look at them big city lesbians bench

eating chips your elbows have never looked this good i want more piercings

I am so excited for the next semester there are so many fun things planned for the student body to end the school year

guys, do you remember bar bie the oracle Delphi? I live my life by her wisdom

Why are residents of Jacobson being denied access to our own study rooms because some 1st years broke furniture?

Why are the Jacobson study rooms closed… Y’all should stop banging on the counters and breaking them… smh

What sort of punishment is not letting us study in Jacobson???

Really wish there was a study room in my building to go to…

I miss the Jacobson study rooms

Good thing the Jacobson study rooms are closed. Now no one will be able to go in for five minutes and break things.

i got free pie!

The dictionary defines stu pidity as a person or situation that showcases a lack of common sense. I submit to you that common sense is overrated. And much worse than that, it’s common. So “Be stupid” I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t sound realistic. But I submit to you that neither is life. Life is not realistic. Life is bold and painful and ecstatic and overwhelming. Why are you trying to cope with that with tepid emotions in your pocket? You’re a beast. -Vir Das (Comedian)

Sam Park is a LEGEND KILLER

Daniel Lutz is now 25... FYI i got free pie!

Merry Christmas ig Rea and Sarah are taking over the world

Saw this was the last declas sified of the semester and panicked! Uhh… egg!

Certified serial killer

Idk if Davina Lyu is single or not. I can’t concentrate in class anymore. She is Smart, Beautiful, funny and Oh! did I mention beautiful?

Sethanie and Berke The love story we needed Please let Jacobson keep its drywall

Normalize Farting in public

If the editors of Mars hill thought we were making fun or something, we weren’t. We really like that Bret guy who loves Milton and hope he has a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Editor’s note: We’re also big fans of Bret here at Mars’ Hill. —Seth

See you space cowboy... Stop being homophobic. Homophobes are stinky its a fact

I could survive on nothing but Lay’s Honey BBQ poppa bles and Dr pepper #finals

Mars’ Hill Tote bags when? I need to add one to my collection

My tummy hurts but I’m being so brave about it

Ok, I have two things to say.

One, the school uses Pink Himalayan salt to salt their sidewalks. Two, they suck at salting their sidewalks.

Ok, I have two things to say.

One, the school uses Pink Himalayan salt to salt their sidewalks. Two, they suck at salting their sidewalks.

You’d think with the amount of tuition we pay, trin could actually salt the sidewalks so we don’t die on the way to class.

I love walking across a skat ing rink on my way to class

The only place that I can really get homework done when I feel this dead inside is Jacobson.

Studying in a booth is a whole other vibe.

Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill or its staff, the student association, or Trinity Western University.

Cover artist: Zoe Towne

Materials: Watercolour paper, acrylic paint, prisms, digital photo manipulation.

“As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep signifi cance.” —Calvin and Hobbes

I feel that the artistic process behind this work really represents how my mind works. I did three different paintings, hated them all, attempted prism photogra phy, felt that it did not capture the theme very well, tried prism photography of the paintings I hated (see back cover), and then chopped up my whole painting and digitally edited it, overlaying my artwork with the prism photos I took, and slapped my logo on it. So

what you see is a collection of several of my failures, pieced together to make something I actually really like. Use everything to your advantage. Peace and love <3

Zoe Towne is a third year art and film student. She also serves as the Arts & Design Editor for TWU’s [spaces] Literary Journal.

Why Do People Keep Throwing Stuff at Paintings?

David Witzke

There seems to be a steady news cycle every few weeks that proclaims that a new painting has been vandalized, often by soup, mashed po tatoes, or other wet and sticky foods. In Vancouver, a distinctly Canadian twist was thrown into the mix when maple syrup was thrown onto an Emily Carr painting. In each of these three cases, the perpetra tors were climate change, protesters and activists. The food stunt is often followed by protesters gluing their hands to the walls or frames where the paint ings are held.

These incidents may seem bizarre, as after all, what do priceless paintings have to do with climate change? These actions are just the latest in a long series of non-violent protest movements that call attention to social issues. Deriding these protests as foolishness or simply insane protesters is to grab the spear by the dull end. Which is to say, missing the point. The protests have never really been about the art. None of the targeted paintings have sustained lasting damage.

versation, but whether it has been focused on climate change or dam age to classical artwork is up for debate. The key to this spectacle is the shock factor, but many of the protesters want to move beyond the spectacle. In an inter view that seems to be at odds with the harrow ingly accusatory tone of her reprimand in the museum, Plummer explains that throwing soup was never the goal. “What we’re doing is getting the conversation going so we can ask the questions that matter,” says Plummer.

Phoebe Plummer, a protester who threw tomato soup at the Van Gogh painting “Sunflowers” in the U.K., yelled out her symbolism to the crowds of art-goers saying that “the cost-of-living crisis is part of the cost of oil crisis. Fuel is unaffordable to millions of cold, hungry families. They can’t even afford to heat a tin of soup.” Each of the protests is about slightly differ ent issues: the mashed potatoes incident happened in Germany to give awareness to food scarcity, while the Vancouver syrup incident was a protest about building the Coastal GasLink Pipeline. In a press re lease, Erin Fletcher, an activist working for the group “Stop Fracking Around,” released a statement about the Vancouver protest: “the Wet’suwet’en nation has made it very clear that they do not want this pipeline on their unceded lands. This is a question for all Ca nadians: what does reconciliation really mean to us if it is not reflected in our actions as a nation?”

The most obvious goal in this situation is attention. Nothing in the internet age gets media going like a spectacle, for good or bad. It certainly has led to con

These activists are painting a different picture of the climate crisis. They feel fed up with inaction and dismissal from the government and the general public. They see the need to shock people into awareness in any way that is possible. These activists’ points of view are steadily gaining both notoriety and funding. Non-profit funds like the Climate Emergency Fund, based out of California, are pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into funding these activists. Donors to these funds can be crowd-sourced, but a surprising number of big donors are heirs and heiresses to oil fortunes them selves. Though none of them are directly tied to the oil work anymore, their fortunes certainly are. Peter Gill Case, a descendant of the Rockefeller family, wrote to The New York Times that he feels “a moral obligation to do my part. Wouldn’t you?”

Though it may be a particular irony that descendants of oil barons are using their money to try to disman tle the oil and gas industry, the very industry that gave them their fortune, it also belies the seriousness with which both activists and donors are taking the threat of climate change. It appears that extraor dinary times call for extraordinary measures for climate activists and those that support them.

Even amongst the seriousness, these protests evoke in people both for and against the demonstrations, there is some humour to the situation. As the in

When Times Get Tough, Lipstick Thrives

Christa Lyford

If gas prices and the cost of living were not strain ing individuals’ wallets enough, the cost of food in Canada has risen 10.3 per cent within the last month. That is the highest reading since 1981. With these financial pressures weighing on the middle class, it would seem that consumers would be cutting back on luxuries to streamline their budgets.

So why has lipstick become the fastest-growing cosmetic sale, accelerating twice as much as other beauty products, achieving a 48 per cent increase in the first quarter over the previous year all in the height of a recession?

Believe it or not, this is a phenomenon economists have seen before—and it is even a recognized indica tor of a recession. Known as the “lipstick effect” or “lipstick index,” this trend has occurred periodically

when the economy enters into a period of recession.

The idea of the “lipstick index” was popularized by Estée Lauder Cosmetics’ heir, Leonard Lauder, after seeing a rise in sales of lipstick immediately proceed ing the 9/11 terrorist attack of 2001 and then another uncharacteristic spike during the 2008 recession. However, the concept itself was first coined by Professor Juliet Schor in her 1998 book The Overspent American

Schor asserts that when facing an uncertain econom ic environment, people turn to beauty products for affordable luxury. She compares this indulgence to “buying ‘hope in a bottle’” with cosmetics being “an escape from an otherwise drab everyday existence.”

Dr. Catherine Janssen-Boyd, a consumer psychol ogist, further backs this theory, saying that being

ternet was meant to do, there have been countless memes and posts capitalizing on the notoriety of the protests. One creator posted a TikTok featuring a man giving people free soup cans outside a museum and pairing them with paintings like a sommelier might pair a meal with a bottle of wine. Despite the internet’s levity of the situation, it is not such a clear-cut issue as it seems. Do these protests harm or hinder the effort to fight climate change?

“Despite the internet’s levi ty of the situation, it is not such a clear-cut issue as it seems. Do these protests harm or hinder the effort to fight climate change?”

Only time will tell. Yet Plummer’s haunting words to the museum crowds, presumably the very point that she was trying to make, stand out amidst the back drop. Her shaky but defiant voice yells and questions the crowd, “What is worth more? Art or life?”

short of money is “psychologically daunting” and in order to raise spirits, buyers will treat themselves to little luxuries in an effort to “cheer [themselves] up.”

Since a lipstick for $23 is cheaper than a vacation or a new car, it seems like a reasonable splurge.

“These actions are just the latest in a long series of non-violent protest move ments that call attention to social issues.”

Climate activist Phoebe Plummer arrested outside the National Gallery in London, England on Friday, October 14, 2022. Image by Martin Pope via Getty Images

Shooting at Colorado Nightclub Leaves Five Dead and a Community in Mourning

Berk Berkeliev

Ashooting at a gay nightclub in Colorado Springs on the night of November 20 left five dead and 17 injured. Reports say that the gunman entered Club Q a few minutes before midnight and opened fire. Twenty-two-year-old Anderson Lee Aldrich was eventually tackled and pinned to the ground by patrons of the bar for about five minutes until police arrived and took him into custody at 12:02 a.m. This is the 604th mass shooting in the United States this year.

Richard Fierro and Thomas James are the two individuals who stepped in and halted the gunman. Fierro, a 15-year U.S. Army veteran, was attending a drag show with his wife and daughter, while James was said to be one of the performers in the drag show. Unfortunately, Fierro’s daughter’s boyfriend, who was also at the club, was identified as one of the five victims.

“Fierro was hailed a hero by the mayor of Colorado Springs, but the Army veteran denies being a hero.”

Fierro was hailed a hero by the mayor of Colorado Springs, but the Army veteran denies being a hero. He says that he knew he had to protect his family and that his combat instincts kicked in when he smelled the gun smoke. He said that he has no shame in attending events at the nightclub and wants to support the LGBTQIA+ community. “I’m straight. My kids are straight. But we go there. Why? Because of our community,” said Fierro in an interview.

This horrible attack echoes the 2016 massacre in Orlando that left 49 people dead at Pulse Nightclub. Many are labelling this a hate crime, with President Joe Biden saying that “we cannot and must not tolerate hate,” while demanding that weapons of war are taken off America’s streets. There have been nearly 40,000 deaths from gun violence in America this year. Mass shootings and gun control are back at the forefront of American political debates, with polls suggesting that 57 per cent of American adults want stricter gun laws.

In June, the White House passed a law that would enhance back ground checks for gun buyers under 21, created a new federal grant program to encourage states to enact laws that can re move firearms from people who pose a threat to others or them selves, and created a federal statute banning gun trafficking. Congress is yet to come to an agreement on outright banning assault rifles. This seems to be the next and most important step in diminishing gun violence in America.

Meet David Eby, B.C.’s New Premier

Seth Schouten

Residents of British Columbia were re cently introduced to the province’s new premier. David Eby assumed office on November 18 after taking over leadership of the New Democratic Party on October 21. He ran unopposed in the NDP leadership race follow ing the disqualification of his only challenger, Anjali Appa durai. Eby’s appointment to the position comes following former premier John Hor gan’s decision to step down from party leadership and the premiership in June. Hor gan’s resignation followed a battle with throat cancer that was publicly disclosed in November 2021.

A native of Kitchener, Ontario, Eby first got involved with B.C. politics as a lawyer working for the Pivot Legal Society, a legal advocacy program that primarily works with marginalized communities affected by pov erty in the Downtown Eastside, Vancouver. He served as the executive director of the British Columbia Civil Liberties Association between 2008 and 2012 and as an adjunct professor at the University of British Colum bia between 2009 and 2013.

Eby first ran for a seat in the Legislative Assembly in 2011 as an NDP candidate in the riding of Vancouver-Point Grey, the riding of the outgoing Liberal premier Gordon Campbell. Eby lost that election to Liberal candidate Christy Clark, who took Camp bell’s place as premier after that election, but then later unseated Clark in the 2013 provincial election.

individuals. This has brought him into con flict with several B.C. municipalities, most notably and most publicly with the cities of Penticton and Cranbrook.

In a press conference after winning the NDP leadership race, Eby promised to “launch initiatives” in his first 100 days as premier to address some of the most common concerns facing British Columbians, including hous ing, mental health, and the environment. He also affirmed his commitment to wait until October 2024 for the next provincial election.

“It is a short window, you all know that,” said Eby, quoted from an article in The Tyee. “We have to move quickly and we have to address these issues for British Columbians. They’re counting on us to do that.”

Eby was sworn into office as B.C.’s 37th premier on November 18. The ceremony was hosted by the Musqueam Indian Band and was the first such ceremony to be hosted by a First Nation.

Among Eby’s early priorities as premier is tackling the province’s ongoing housing crisis. Just three days into his premiership, Eby’s government introduced two bills aimed to combat rising housing prices and to pro tect renters. Among the new legislation is a law that would make it illegal for landlords to require that everyone in a rental property be over the age of nineteen. Another alters the legality around barring owners of vacant strata condos from renting out these units.

After Horgan was elected in 2017, Eby was appointed to the position of the attorney general of B.C. in the cabinet and later in 2020 also became the housing minister. His tenure as attorney general was defined early on by the launch of a formal investigation into rampant money laundering through out BC. That investigation, known as the “Cullen Commission,” has only produced its final reports this year. As housing minister, Eby advocated for an increase in homeless shelters and other supports for unhoused

Eby’s government also unveiled new energy credits for small-to-medium-sized businesses and low-to-medium-income families to help combat the increased cost of living. These credits will be issued against residents’ energy bills in December through FortisBC. Another credit will be available for families of low-to-medium income through the CRA in the new year.

“We can provide support to British Colum bians who need it, who are in distress about the cost of living,” Eby said. Eby demon strates an understanding that to win over residents of B.C., he will need to act upon his policies quickly and in ways accessible to British Columbians. “We need to deliver ur gently and continue to earn that trust from British Columbians every single day.”

“We can provide sup port to British Co lumbians who need it, who are in distress about the cost of living . . . We need to deliver urgently and continue to earn that trust from British Co lumbians every single day.”

—David Eby

Photo of David Eby by Jonathan Hayward via the CP.

A memorial for the five victims of the Club Q shooting. Photo by David Zalubowski via AP.

2022 FIFA World Cup Puts Qatar Under International Scrutiny for Human Rights

Diego Bascur & Seth Schouten

The FIFA World Cup in Qatar has been sur rounded by a sea of controversy. Between human rights issues and alleged corruption, the 2022 World Cup has been an interesting talking point since Qatar was declared the host nation 12 years ago. Qatar is the first Arab nation to host the tournament since the World Cup began in 1930. The sporting tournament has become a lightning rod for political controversy and discussion.

Early in the process, it became abundantly clear that Qatar was facing a massive infrastructure problem. The nation is incredibly small, with a total area of less than that of Nova Scotia. By FIFA’s own statis tics, over three-million tickets have been sold for the tournament against Qatar’s population of an esti mated 2.8 million. Qatar had to not only construct new sporting venues to house tens of thousands of spectators, but also invest in new public transport, housing, skyscrapers, and roads. About 80 percent of the city of Lusail’s land was redeveloped by the Qatari government in the lead-up to the tournament. The estimated cost was somewhere between USD $220–300 billion.

the preparation for the World Cup with summertime temperatures in Qatar frequently reaching about 45 degrees. However, the exact number of deaths can be hard to pin down. According to The Guardian, the Qa tari government has only proposed a death toll of 37.

“Migrant workers were indispensable to making the World Cup 2022 possible,” said Rothna Begun, a senior researcher at Human Rights Watch, “but it has come at great cost for many migrant workers and their families who not only made personal sacrifices, but also faced widespread wage theft, injuries, and thousands of unexplained deaths.”

Earlier this month, former FIFA president, Sepp Blatter, spoke to Swiss media and even admitted that choosing Qatar “was a bad choice.” Adding that he was “responsible” for Qatar’s appointment as host nation all the way back in 2010.

Now with the World Cup underway, the unique laws and customs of Qatar are creating a World Cup un like any other and changing the experience of being a fan at this global tournament. Two days before the World Cup commenced, FIFA announced that alco hol sales would be extremely limited, including a full ban on the sale of alcohol inside stadiums. Alcohol can only be served in designated “fan parks” and a few other specific venues in the nation.

There are quite a few other laws that have created controversy amongst attendees and the nations competing in the tournament. Many have pointed out Qatar’s strict dress comes with fans being recom mended to cover their knees and shoulders. There are also heavy penalties for any sort of display of public intimacy between men and women. Freedom of expression in Qatar has also filled the air with con troversy as there have already been reports of fans being denied entry due to rainbow-themed clothing.

critique by nations around the world, most notably in its stance against LGBTQ+ people. According to reporting from NPR, same-sex relationships remain illegal and punishable by jail time. A report from Human Rights Watch suggests that there have been cases of Qatari security forces brutalizing queer Qatari residents as recently as September.

Nations around the world have been quick to con demn Qatar with many teams rallying behind the “OneLove” campaign created by the Royal Dutch Football Association, the KNVB. Captains of several teams—including the Netherlands, England, Ger many, and Denmark—were set to wear the OneLove armbands in their opening matches. FIFA quickly established rules that would punish any player wear ing one of these armbands on the field. The House of Commons unanimously adopted a motion on Tues day, November 22, to condemn FIFA’s actions.

In response to the ongoing controversies, current FIFA president Gianni Infantino has doubled down on his support for Qatar and the World Cup. He voiced his support for international peace and coop eration.

“Today I feel Qatari,” said Infantino in a press con ference prior to the start of the World Cup. “Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker [sic].”

Infantino later continued, “We have to invest in helping these people, in education and to give them a better future and more hope. We should all educate ourselves, many things are not perfect, but reform and change takes time.” FIFA has encouraged teams to focus on playing soccer rather than what it calls political and ideological “battles.”

In order to complete these massive projects, Qatar called on its large population of migrant workers, which makes up 90 percent of its labour force. How ever, during construction, many migrant workers were exploited financially, as well as put into dan gerous working and living conditions. An estimated 6500 migrant workers have died since construction began in 2010, from causes including car crashes, suicides, heat strokes, exhaustion, and workplace ac cidents. Extreme heat has been a running concern in

The U.S. State Department revealed that “anyone convicted of defaming, desecrating, or committing blasphemy against Islam, Christianity, or Judaism could face a prison sentence of up to seven years, and public worship by non-Islamic faiths and atheism are illegal.”

Qatar’s history of human rights violations and deeply conservative Islamic social views have come under

But not all national teams agree with FIFA. Germa ny’s team went on to publicly protest FIFA’s ruling following their November 23 match against Japan. “It wasn’t about making a political statement—human rights are non-negotiable,” said the German nation al team in a statement released to the press. “That should be taken for granted, but it still isn’t the case. That’s why this message is so important to us. Deny ing us the armband is the same as denying us a voice. We stand by our position.”

All in all, this World Cup is shaping up to be a very interesting event. After all, this is the first time a World Cup has been hosted in the Middle East in an Islamic nation. It provides a look into the clash between two very different worldviews, as Western ers obtain first-hand experience in the world of an Islamic state. Only time will tell how Qatar will react to this global event and what repercussions will come of the 2022 World Cup.

“An estimated 6500 mi grant workers have died since construction began in 2010, from causes in cluding car crashes, sui cides, heat strokes, ex haustion, and workplace accidents.”

“It wasn’t about making a political statement – hu man rights are non-nego tiable . . . That’s why this message is so important to us. Denying us the arm band is the same as deny ing us a voice. We stand by our position.”

—German national football team

FIFA president Gianni Infantino at a press conference prior to the start of the 2022 World Cup. Photo by Fabrice Coffrini via Getty images.

Chivalry Undead: Reflections on The Knight Before Christmas

Bret van den Brink

The Saturnalian oracles of Mars’ Hill thought it would be hilarious were I to review some terrible Christmassy Netflix rom-com—and I concurred. As I peregrinated from title to title, Monika Mitchell’s 2019 film The Knight Before Christmas tickled my fancy, largely because I thought its time-travelling hijinks would give me an opportunity to talk about the Middle Ages. I was not disappointed.

In the first scene, it is revealed that the knighted male protagonist, Sir Cole, hails from 14th-century England. The conjunction of this time and place in this Christmassy film proved auspicious for my reflections, for one of my beloved poets, whose name, alas, is lost to his tory, wrote Sir Gawain and the Green Knight in 14th-century England, and the plot of this work unfolds largely over the Christmas season.

Taken as the playful, undemanding flick it was meant to be, the film was largely enjoyable. Taking its frivolousness a smidge too seriously, as I am wont to do, it gave rise to two thoughts. First, its portrayal of chivalry was more ade quate than I expected. (High praise, I know.) Second, where is Christ?

Let us start with chivalry, that is, the ideal, largely moral, qualifications of a knight. In his essay, “The Necessity of Chivalry,” Lewis considers the chivalric ideal’s twofold demand on a person:

The knight is a man of blood and iron, a man famil iar with the sight of smashed faces and the ragged stumps of lopped-off limbs; he is also a demure, al most a maidenlike, guest in a hall, a gentle, modest, unobtrusive man. He is not a compromise or happy mean between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the nth and meek to the nth.

Nowadays, our culture tends to emphasize the ferocity of knights at the expense of their meekness. Happily, Sir Cole is convincingly both ferocious and meek. He is as ready to go hawking, to challenge an ungentlemanly fellow to a duel, and to tackle a pickpocket as he is to play with a child and to bake bread from scratch. As he puts it, “I am a butcher, baker, [and] candlestick maker.”

Above all, and quite properly, Sir Cole con siders knightliness a moral code: “A knight is sworn to valour and virtue, his blade defends the good, his might upholds the weak, his tem per shall be led by patience, and his kindness will give aid to those who seek it.” Knighthood is, for him, a way of life, an art of living per fected by habituation. Sir Cole even embodies

the—almost forgotten—knightly virtue of chastity, refreshingly making no sexual ad vances towards the female protagonist, Brooke Winters. Brooke is a 21st-century schoolteacher who is disillusioned by love. Stumbling upon the bewildered, and seemingly amnesiac, knight, she kindly invites him into her home. When Sir Cole emerges from Brooke’s shower in a towel, her lascivious gaze is juxtaposed with his childlike innocence, which I am tempt ed to call naivety. It was almost surprising to me that he so much as kissed Brooke Winters under the mistletoe towards the end of the film.

translation), is put in the mouth of a tempt ress. Sir Gawain is constantly reminded, by the pentangle on his shield, of a catalogue of five knightly virtues: “free-giving[ness],” “friend liness,” “chastity,” “chivalry,” and “piety.” Not that the Gawain poet would denigrate love as such, but he would surely insist that true love can only exist in conjunction with these vir tues—with probable piety above them all.

The Gawain poet was, of course, a devout Catholic, and presumably, Sir Cole is as well. Nonetheless, curiously, this Christmas movie lacks any mention of Christ. Sir Cole continu ously recognizes his duty toward his king, but what of the King of Kings? When Sir Gawain’s quest reaches Christmas Eve, he is anxious lest he should miss “Mass” and “Matins” and neglect his duties towards his “sweet Lord, who on that selfsame night / of a maid became man our mourning to conquer.” “Selfsame” is not too strong a word—these knights hail from an age when the time was thought to partake of God’s eternity, and so each Christmas was thought to partake of that first Christmas when the Christ Child was born of a virgin in Bethlehem.

Nonetheless, I would still quibble with the film’s treatment of love. Unfortunately, by the end of the film, Sir Cole pontificates, “Love is the first and foremost of all knightly virtues—I understand that now.” Meanwhile, the notion that “of all chivalry the choice, the chief thing to praise, / is the loyal practice of love,” in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (J.R.R. Tolkien’s

Sir Cole’s quest is to become a true knight, and though the movie portrays him as fulfilling his quest in finding true love without Christ, I fear that his friends back home would not consider his love to be as true as he supposes. But, then again, it is a rom-com.

“The Gawain poet was, of course, a devout Catholic, and presum ably, Sir Cole is as well. Nonetheless, curiously, this Christmas movie lacks any mention of Christ.”

A still from The Knight Before Christmas. Image via Netflix.

The Rings of Powerfully Bad Characters

Carson Bird

This article contains spoilers for the first season of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power. You have been warned.

The other day, I rewatched Pixar’s Cars (2006) and was reminded of its brilliance. As a child, I enjoyed the characters—and the cars of course—but as an adult, I can appreciate the jokes, the plot, and the character-building. Through Lighting McQueen’s character arc, we witness a cocky, narcissistic, hotshot racer transform into a caring, sacrificial, and considerate friend. The bud get for Cars was $120 million USD and entertains all audiences to this day. In comparison, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022–) cost an estimated

$1 billion to produce, including seasons that are not yet released. And yet it failed to create a relatable protagonist that even Cars—a movie with 12 per cent of its budget—could.

In the show, audiences follow a couple of differ ent plot lines, but it is a fair statement to say that Galadriel is the main character. Galadriel has two roles in the plot: one as the protagonist and another as the writers’ “get out of jail free card.” She tends to act however she needs to, even if it does not align with her character.

At the beginning of the show, Galadriel will stop at nothing to vanquish all evil in Middle-earth, specif ically Morgoth’s right-hand man, Sauron. What is her drive to free Middle-earth of evil? Revenge of her fallen brother. We watch as Galadriel stubborn ly pushes towards this goal, leading her to make decisions that are morally questionable but are unnaturally treated as heroic by the people around her. Examples of this appear throughout the show, whether it be pushing her party of elves so hard that they perform a mutiny or act undeservedly rash and petulant with the Queen Regent of Númenor. Yet in each situation, she seems to be quickly pardoned for her presumed arrogance and poor decision-making.

“Galadriel has two roles in the plot: one as the pro tagonist and another as the writers’ “get out of jail free card.””

The biggest inconsistency of Galadriel’s character can be found in the mess that was the season finale.

Galadriel brings Halbrand (supposed king of the Southlands who is actually Sauron in disguise) to an elven city where Celebrimbor (a legendary Elven smith) and Elrond (an Elven politician) are working on a way to use a powerful ore called Mithril to save the Elven race from mortality. Through the forging process, Galadriel becomes suspicious of Halbrand, who, for some reason, reveals himself to be Sauron and, for some reason, retreats to Mordor. This is where the problem lies.

Throughout the show, Galadriel goes through mul tiple life-or-death situations with Halbrand by her side. Galadriel’s blind revenge and shared experienc es with Halbrand should not have allowed her to be suspicious of him. To align with the blindness that comes with revenge, Galadriel should have defended Halbrand against suspicion, resulting in a lapse of judgment that would cost millions of lives. Instead, Galadriel becomes the hero once again, creating an anti-climactic ending due to the lack of weight the “big reveal” had.

Lightning McQueen and Galadriel share similar characteristics, besides their obvious differences. They both start off as arrogant and narcissistic characters, wholly focused on their own selfish goals. However, unlike Galadriel, Lighting McQueen transforms into a caring and selfless friend, learn ing from his mistakes and assumptions. Instead of growing like Lighting McQueen, Galadriel remains an unsatisfactory, heterogeneous mixture of con trasting characteristics that can be boiled down to lazy writing. Instead of learning from her mistakes, she is simply proven right at every turn: a valiant attitude for a hero but a poor excuse for a character. You would think that with a budget that could solve world hunger, you would be able to hire writers capable of something even Cars could master.

Approaching Secular Culture in a Christlike Fashion

Caleb Millard

Many of us have had a moment in time when we look at a piece of media and question why it exists. Who could find this appealing or worthy of praise? This is often the standard view of people in the Christian community; many of us have been raised in different ways to approach what we see as evil or what is ill-fitting to our faith. We hesitate before we analyze what is to be learned from what we see as evil because we assume that it cannot possibly contain any good. We need to look at what we think is the best way to go out into the world and minister as Jesus commanded us.

A common approach may be to see something presenting as ill-fitting to the Christian faith and immediately rebuke and rebuff it without further understanding why we think it does not fit. While this may be our immediate reaction, there are many other approaches you can take rather than default ing to ignoring the problem and trying to create our perfect community. We live in a culture that relies on talking to each other and growing in our community in shared experience—not through blindness but based on knowledge. We as Christians want to grow in faith and not in ignorance.

While there are many approaches Christians can take to popular culture, there are usually three central ap proaches. The first two are Christ above culture and Christ as a transformer of culture. These ideas both see culture as something beneath us and something that we can change into something Christian; we can see this in the hip-hop community with the example of artists like NF or in the metal community with bands like August Burns Red. These artists take a

transformative approach to culture. At Trinity West ern University, much of the community is focused on the transformative and the idea that we are above the rest of culture because we are Christians. While this may inspire hope, this is not necessarily true of the real world. Not everything can be Christianized or even needs to be. We must lower ourselves from the way we want to be and see that we are not perfect to understand and minister to the whole of Earth as Jesus describes in Luke 15. As Jesus ate with the sinners and tax collectors, so must we. We should not see ourselves as above sin, because we are human and our innate disposition is that we are flawed.

mind, we are but messengers of God’s word; we will go out with the best intentions in our hearts.

The third, and perhaps best, approach to culture is to see things as Christ within culture. This approach is the idea that Christ is within all facets of culture. Wherever you go, Christ is there, regardless of what we see as positive or negative. This approach is a good, optimistic approach to culture, as we see that the Earth would not be flawed if it were not for sin. This approach is not as simple a journey as one would expect. We need to look at the good in the world and minister it to those who have not heard the good news. Because even in the darkness, there is light. Seeing the darkness in our culture also brings us an opportunity to show people the light.

Our flaws are what make us good ministers for the broken because while God heals us and makes us whole, we can still see where we have come from. By this standard, we are also not in a place for judg ment. As Jesus says in Matthew 7:1-2, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the mea sure you use, it will be measured to you.” With this in

Each of these approaches has its positives and neg atives, but Christ within culture is the most in-sync approach from a ministry point of view. As Christ pointed out to us, we must be servant before master. We must not appear beyond reproach because we are all flawed. This is the biggest draw of Christ’s love. We are all in need of his love and grace. It is vital for us all not to judge content based on our gut reaction but look into the depths of the culture for the good within it. From this good, we can see that we are all in need of God’s grace. If we can see the good that can come from what people usually see as evil or ill-fitting of our faith, we can minister to those who do not see that good and be the Christians we are called to be.

“Our flaws are what make us good ministers for the broken because while God heals us and makes us whole, we can still see where we have come from.”

Campus Culture Spotlight: The IBIS Society

Bret van den Brink, Club President

What is the name of your club?

The IBIS Society

What are the main services, events, or activities that your club facilitates?

Our club mainly hosts events for our members to share our creative writing and to chat about literature (and what ever other subjects may arise).

In 1-2 sentences, how would you describe the culture in your community?

We try to cultivate a cozy, fun atmo sphere in which our members feel com fortable sharing their creative works and their thoughts on literature.

What are some fun events that you group has put on in the past?

Last spring we hosted Student Lit Swap in which club members read their cre ative writings aloud in the Pavilion while feasting on donuts (well, they did not read while they feasted). We also held a fiery (but nonetheless lovely) event in the TWUSA Lounge where people debated literary topics (who is better, J.R.R. Tolkien or J.K. Rowling? and such things).

What do you like best about your club?

As a somewhat reticent, easily-abashed introvert, I am really quite fond of the aura of community that the IBIS Society fosters; it is a place where I can unself consciously be my book-loving self.

What’s a crazy or funny thing that’s hap pened in your club’s history?

Let me just say, with all due discre tion, that as the daylight wanes, the stars emerge, and the visionary night ingale sings to the inward ear, when our planned events of the evening are finished and the scheduled topics of discussion are concluded, our sponta neous conversation tends to lose itself in rather unexpected and occasionally wild digressions.

If a new student were deciding to come to the club what would you say to convince them to attend?

We usually have snacks.

Where can students find more information about your club?

Club updates may be found on our Instagram @twu.inkblots.inscapes, and any questions concerning the club will be cheerfully received by Bret at bret.vandenbrink@ mytwu.ca.

In Memoriam: Kevin Conroy

David Witzke

Even if you never knew Kevin Conroy the person, you probably knew his voice. He was best known for portraying the animated voice of Batman, lending the character a smooth gravitas that blend ed with the animated noir feeling of the character. Conroy first played Batman in Batman: The Animated Series (1992-1995) where he starred alongside Mark Hamill, who portrayed the animated voice of the Jok er. Conroy was a consistent voice of Batman, playing the caped crusader since the 1990s until as recently as 2022. He was a frequent attendee of conventions and welcomed interaction with his fans. Conroy was not just a voice actor; he was a beacon of hope to millions of fans through the roles he played and the legacy he left behind.

Conroy grew up in Connecticut, U.S. in a troubled family. His father was an alcoholic, his brother was schizophrenic, and his family was in the midst of a messy divorce. Both his mother and father died earlier in his life with Conroy at their side. Despite the odds, Conroy got a scholarship to attend Jul liard alongside contemporaries like Robin Williams and Kelsey Grammer. After graduation, he acted in classical theatre productions on and off Broadway and took whatever roles he could in theatre, film, and television. Conroy struggled to find work because he was a gay man during a time when the acting industry was not just discriminatory but openly hostile towards gay actors. He acted in New York during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and was forced to suffer in si lence as he attended the funerals of his closest friends and colleagues, all the while facing discrimination and ostracization from the industry and culture at large.

“[Conroy] acted in New York during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and was forced to suffer in silence as he attended the funerals of his closest friends and colleagues, all the while facing discrimina tion and ostracization from the industry and culture at large.”

Conroy wrote about the experiences of his career alongside illustrator J. Bone in the award-winning comic “Finding Batman” as a part of the DC Pride 2022 comics anthology. He felt connected to Batman

by their similar need for dual identities and being caught between them. When he auditioned for the role of Batman, he barely knew who the character was and was only familiar with Adam West’s performance in the 1960s Batman TV series. Yet he somehow nailed both the voice and audition, intuitively relating with the character. He later stated in his comic that he poured thirty years of insecurity, frustration, confu sion, and yearning into the character. He imagined himself as Bruce Wayne, watching his parents bleed onto the street. Yet instead of Martha and Thomas Wayne, Conroy saw his own parents and felt his own confusion and sorrow. Conroy had never really seen Bruce before this audition but somehow understood him completely and in ways that no other actor had before. Kevin Conroy did not simply play Batman; he helped shape him.

Kevin Conroy passed away from intestinal cancer on November 10, 2022. He was an iconic voice actor that not only brought Batman to life but connected him to millions of people around the world. Conroy will be sorrily missed, not just for his performances as Bat man, but for his lasting legacy within the community.

Conroy in 2019. Photo by Rob Grabowski via AP.

The Year

End Survey

And so we stand on the precipice of the end of another year. With 2022 nearly behind us and finals season—and then the Christmas holi days!—right around the corner, I often like to take time in and around this time of year to take stock of what has passed and look ahead to the promise of what is to come. Eventually, those ideas morphed into wondering how the other people in my life perceived the end of another year. Out of these quandaries, the “Year End Survey” was born.

The intention was to make this survey fairly broad. It is broken down into three distinct categories: Pop Culture, Life in Broad Strokes, and Campus Life. Pop Culture discusses our favourite pieces of media—films, books, televi sion, music, etc.—from the past year and addresses the age-old question of who our most streamed artists on our Spotify Wrapped will be (unsurprising ly, Taylor Swift was the most common answer). In Life in Broad Strokes, we are looking at our highs and lows and the past year and what things we are looking forward to in 2023. Finally, in Campus Life, we take stock of things specific to the community here at Trinity Western University over the past year.

We also took the opportunity to ask for the participants’ perspectives on our work as a paper in the 2022/2023 academic year so far. These comments have proven to be extremely valuable, and we have saved them for internal review.

These sorts of surveys always provide many fascinating insights into the perspectives of students across TWU. While every participant provided a unique point-of-view, there were a few throughlines present. First, many students noted how stressful the year has been, aggravated by outside influences. Several students noted how taxing the seemingly endless barrage of bad news from around the world this year has been—in regard to the pandemic, ongoing conflicts, and political climates—with one response expressing the sentiment of feeling like “you [can’t] stop it from happening.”

However, another valuable throughline was seeing how students managed to find comfort in uncertain times. Many have found support in their families, friends, and the community at TWU. Many others have taken the time to more seriously engage with their faith, which has proved to be a grounding presence in their lives.

Thank you to everyone who participat ed in the survey. There were 29 respon dents to this survey. Not every written answer provided has been published. Some of these answers have been edit ed for style, length, and grammar.

Seth Schouten

PART 1: POP CULTURE

What was your favourite piece of media re leased in the past year (film, television, music, book, etc.) and why?

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. I laughed, I cried. It moved me.

Orville Peck’s album Bronco. It takes heartbreak and loneli ness and puts a hopeful and happy spin on them. It also got me through finals.

Renaissance by Beyoncé.

The Batman. Favourite actor, great aesthetic, brilliant movie.

Everything Everywhere All at Once! Incredible storytelling, versatile cinematography, diverse cast, and a great message. The level of detail is insane!

Letters to Annie by Monika Hilder. I’m in her English 214 class this semester and this book is the epitome of a feel-good book. It follows the story of a grandma and her granddaugh ter Annie. They discuss various problems throughout their lives and connect them with various fairy tales. At the begin ning of the book, Annie is a baby and she is 25 by the end. I struggle with reading books due to executive dysfunction and poor focusing skills, so I found this book really accessible.

Living Like Monks, Praying Like Fools by Tyler Staton. A most wonderful and inviting book on encountering God through prayer — a true paradigm shift in the mind.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy — not only a book I couldn’t put down, but I think it does comment on our culture in regard to fame and body image in an indirect way.

PART 2: LIFE IN BROAD STROKES

What is your favourite memory (TWU-related or otherwise) from 2022?

Trying to vacuum a stink bug off the ceiling of my dorm room.

Late-night talks with my friends on the floor of my room. Going to 11:07 and Bright Star with friends.

Filming a short film with my good friends.

The steps being taken worldwide to combat climate change and the opening of the Kuhn building on campus.

Math 190 classes.

TWUSA Pre-SLOW

Getting engaged.

Being able to go to the collegium! Shoutout to the pancake breakfast.

What are some things that have negatively impacted your mental health?

Having a job.

Hard courses, distance in friendships, purposelessness.

Internal stress, schoolwork, family dynamics.

Food-based stress, school-based stress, uncertainty surround ing acceptance and ability to be authentic (particularly as part of the LGBT+ community).

Being away from family and schoolwork. An increased workload.

PART

3:

CAMPUS LIFE

What was the best and/or worst part of your experience at TWU this past year?

The best was last semester when I somehow talked and laughed with my dorm for 7 hours straight without realizing it and the worst was breaking down in front of my prof.

The best was being able to be fully myself. The worst is the homophobia and transphobia at this school.

Best: doing my TA work with friends

Worst: doing homework

Best: Christmas gala and pumpkin carving at dorm meeting.

Worst: when I got COVID-19 in February and had to isolate. In-person classes.

What was the most difficult part of 2022?

Breaking my femur.

The middle of this semester when my executive dysfunction caused me to be unable to work at all.

Getting informed on the current state of news, politics, wars, etc., and feeling like you couldn’t stop it from happening.

A breakup.

I felt unsupported by my mom, which was really hard. I con stantly felt like I was the problem and was always messing up.

What are some things that have positively impacted your mental health?

My partner, my friends, and the little things I do for myself.

being in community with other One TWU folks, having lovely profs, seeing Bright Star

Riding my bike most places! I’m seriously considering selling my car—honestly, I have no time for these absurd gas prices. Friends and family.

Getting a supportive full-time job at a Christian workplace, being involved in a weekly men’s Bible study, continuing counselling, and opening up to people about the sexual abuse I endured as a child have been freeing and encourag ing. Spending time with my dog has been helpful too. And sleeping.

Silence and solitude with God — learning to be aware of Him in all things.

Who do you think will be your most streamed artist on your Spotify Wrapped (or other equivalent) this year?

Harry Styles.

Harry Styles or Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift or John Mark Pantana.

The Glee Cast (Emberassing, I know).

Noah Kahan.

Switchfoot. I dunno, maybe Skillet?

Joy Division. What’s Spotify Wrapped?

What has been your greatest accomplishment during the 2022/23 academic year so far?

Not dropping out.

My greatest accomplishment has been maintaining a B+ average in my classes.

Getting 100 on my stats midterm.

Getting elected onto TWUSA exec.

Somehow having a social life.

I haven’t turned in anything late!

How do you think your mental health has changed in the past year?

Re mained the Same 21.6%

Improved 46.4% Worsened 32.1%

How are you hoping to challenge yourself as you enter 2023?

I just need to push through. Cs get degrees.

Writing my honours thesis!

Plan ahead!

I want to challenge myself to know God and myself better and what it looks like for me personally to live in a relationship with Him.

I want to go to chapel more often and be more involved in community rather than just my studies.

Reflections on The Past: Cheryl Jean-Paul Talks Journey to 100 Wins with the Women’s Basketball Team

Julianne Jones

On November 12, women’s basketball coach Cheryl Jean-Paul reached a milestone in her coaching career. Achieving 100 regular season wins after 13years of loyalty to the Spartans, Jean-Paul has approached this accomplishment by acknowledging the development of TWU’s women’s basketball program—not through the number of games won, but by using the foundation of faith.

Joining the Spartans in 2010, Jean-Paul has been a vital part of the women’s basketball team’s steady progression. Jean-Paul entered this position during arguably one of the most difficult times for the pro gram. With the women’s soccer team having a suc cessful track record and the women’s volleyball team following behind, it was difficult for the coach to develop a narrative that would surpass the negative effects of comparison. In an interview with Mars’ Hill, Jean-Paul shared the negative perception of the team that was circulating at the beginning of her time with TWU: “It felt like [the team] was the ugly duckling. It was the ‘women’s basketball team who can’t seem to find the same type of success.’” Bringing the team out of this slump was the beginning of Jean-Paul’s road to redemption for the program.

“Jean-Paul entered this position during arguably one of the most difficult times for the program. With the women’s soccer team having a successful track record, and the wom en’s volleyball team follow ing behind, it was difficult for the coach to develop a narrative that would sur pass the negative effects of comparison.”

Joining a team that was considered inferior amongst other Spartan teams was difficult for Jean-Paul. At tempting to change the social narrative of a team was strenuous work, especially when some former players expressed embarrassment for their involvement in an unsuccessful team. As she reflected on the beginning of her journey with TWU in 2010, Jean-Paul shared that “It’s hard as a coach when you have a team that is constantly losing. It’s emotionally difficult. It would’ve been fine if everyone else on campus was in the same battle, but you’re sitting next to someone who just got All-Canadian and someone who just won a national championship. You’re trying to be a varsity athlete at the same school, and that’s not an easy thing to do.” Despite this, Jean-Paul has not let the echoes of the past shape her team.

In an attempt to shift the narrative, Jean-Paul has valued the process of gaining confidence through past success. Because previous teams did not have much success to build from, the team was confi dence-deficient. Jean-Paul explained that “[the past teams] couldn’t look back and say ‘we’re trying to get back to something that we’ve been able to accomplish as a program before.’” When looking at the steady

increase of success that the women’s basketball pro gram has achieved, Jean-Paul accredits the 2017/2018 team for instilling future teams with a sense of hope and confidence.

times in the sports world when the stats do matter and I think that they matter from a sense of affirmation for all the hard work that you’ve put into it. For me, it’s not necessarily coming from a place of pride because I know I’ve lost way more games than I’ve won. . . .

the 13 years of hard work that Jean-Paul and past players have put into the program. Jean-Paul stated that “All the players that came before this group laid down the foundation. They were the ones who had to take the early hits. . . . This group [today] is benefit ting from a legacy of other athletes.” Despite JeanPaul being a notable factor in the program’s trans formation, she continues to consider the frustrations that early players had to face and the effect it has had on this progression. Nevertheless, their difficult history has ignited a flame in the women’s basketball program that has yet to be put out.

Achieving 100 regular season wins with the Spartans is a memorable milestone for coach Jean-Paul. We could compare the difficulties of Jean-Paul’s first season to the current, successful state of the program and say, “Who would’ve thought?”—but that would be pointless.

There is a simple answer to this. The marriage between faith and coaching has been the driving force behind Jean-Paul’s leadership for the women’s basketball team. Being called to come to TWU in a time of turmoil and trusting God’s guidance has been evident on the court. Not only has the team evolved, but Jean-Paul’s coaching has as well. When discussing the way TWU has helped her develop as a coach, Jean-Paul said:

In the 2017/2018 season, the women’s basketball team made it to the final four in CanWest and was within arms reach of getting to a national champi onship. When discussing the effect this monumental moment had on the women’s basketball program, Jean-Paul said, “I think that was what that generation needed as proof that we were moving in the right direction.”

The team that we watch on the court today embodies

I typically do a deep dive reflection, analytically, with our basketball team every year. Part of that process is asking, “How am I doing as a coach?” and “What are some of the things that I need to continue bringing?” I look at who I was in year one versus now and it’s the same thing: layer upon layer of personal and professional development and recognizing when I haven’t been what the team needed. Whether it’s an approach to challenging circumstances or communicating or whether my expectations are realistic, . . . it’s learning how to allow the team to be part of the process without it being driven from one voice or one direction.

Story continues on next page . . .

“There [are]

I just think that, in some ways, that 100th win is just an affirmation of the fact that I never gave up.”

— Cheryl Jean-Paul

Coach Cheryl Jean-Paul and members of the Spartans women’s basketball team after a victory over University of Lethbridge on November 12, 2022, marking Jean-Paul’s 100th voctory with the team. Photo via Spartans Athletics.

Continued

It is evident that Jean-Paul’s eyes are set on the de velopment of trust and confidence within the team, which has proved itself to be a vital asset to improv ing on and off the court.

The team still has to face the echoes of the past to day, despite their undeniable improvement. Jean-Paul explained that “We don’t spend a lot of time listen ing to outside voices, and that’s because we couldn’t. The outside voices were so discouraging in the early years that we had to insulate our program against the outside world. There’s still some of that. You can’t go through 13 years in a program and not have some response to the early losses. It’s trying not to let that feed this generation of athletes, but a lot of the deci sions that I continue to make are based on knowing what it was like and how hard it was.” Putting aside the opinions of such a small, tightly-woven commu nity is extremely difficult. Jean-Paul has exemplified resilience as she has steadily pulled her team out of the pit and onto the court with determination.

When reflecting upon this impressive achievement, Jean-Paul cannot help but feel a sense of excitement. Given the difficult beginning to 13 years of coaching, Jean-Paul humbly admits that, sometimes, statistics are encouraging. Jean-Paul shared, “There [are] times in the sports world when the stats do matter

and I think that they matter from a sense of affirma tion for all the hard work that you’ve put into it. For me, it’s not necessarily coming from a place of pride because I know I’ve lost way more games than I’ve won. . . . I just think that, in some ways, that 100th win is just an affirmation of the fact that I never gave up.” The past has only pushed Jean-Paul and the team further into greatness. This 100th win is not merely a number; rather it is a badge that shows the perseverance and resilience that Jean-Paul embodies.

program that inspired the push to succeed. JeanPaul shared the difficulties of getting to this point of success in coaching, stating: “There’s a lot of faith involved, and there’s a lot of unknowns involved. I think that this 100th win milestone for me is just an affirmation that I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing where I’m supposed to be doing it.” Following her calling and wholeheartedly trusting God is at the foundation of Jean-Paul’s recent achievement. When it felt like nobody believed in her or the women’s basketball program, Jean-Paul continued to create a team of empowered young women who were ready to prove people wrong.

From achieving three wins a season to winning playoff games, Jean-Paul’s 100th win is well worth celebrating. It is not easy making decisions for a team that feels lost and misunderstood. Nevertheless, each team learns and develops from the last, and Jean-Paul has created a dynamic that prioritizes growth. With 100 wins under her belt, Jean-Paul and her team con tinue to demonstrate their ability to compete with passion—even when it results in a loss. Approaching each game with confidence and dignity, the Spartans are bound to continue evolving season by season.

Overcoming the opinions of the outside world makes this 100th win all the better for Jean-Paul. Admittedly, it was not easy, but it ignited a flame in the women’s

Why NHL Players are Severely Underpaid

Berk Berkeliev

The average player salary in the National Hock ey League (NHL) this season is $3.2 million USD, while players in the NBA, NFL, and MLB are making $9.2, $2.7, and $4.41 million respective ly. Minimum player salaries as well as “salary caps” are negotiated between league management, team owners, and player associations. Each sports league in North America has a players’ union or a labour organization that looks out for the interests of the players and fights to keep their salaries high, while the league management and team owners try to keep salaries low. In most cases, these negotiations are not as significant as the revenues of the leagues them selves, meaning that the income of the league is what mainly determines player salaries.

“The cost of playing hock ey has become immense, and at the end of the day, people like watching a sport that they can relate to and play themselves, so hockey has become inac cessible to most people.”

The “Big Four” sports leagues in North America generate revenue in three main ways. The first and most obvious is ticket sales. The second, and possibly most significant, is television deals. Broadcasting corporations vie and bid for television deals with sports leagues in order to obtain the right to broad cast that league’s games live on television. The third is sponsorship deals. Brands will sponsor various

aspects of operating a professional sports team in order to have their name advertised by the team. This even goes as far as building arenas for hosting sporting events.

Currently, the highest paid NHL player is Nathan MacKinnon who is making $12.6 million this season, while NBA point guard Stephen Curry is making $48 million, NFL quarter back Aaron Rodgers is making $50 million, and New York Mets pitcher Max Scherzer is making $43.3 million. So why are NHL players making so much less than the other major sports leagues in North America?

The answer comes down to popularity. The more people are interested in watching the sport, the high er the team’s revenues and players’ salaries will be.

The cost of playing hockey has become immense, and at the end of the day, people like watching a sport that they can relate to and play themselves, so hockey has become inaccessible to most people.

The price of equipment, ice rentals, and other playing fees have become too costly for the average family to afford. A set of hockey equipment today can cost as much as $3500. Yes, you read that correctly: it is three and a half thousand dollars just to get the

right gear needed to play hockey. Not to mention the fact that playing at the AAA level in youth hockey can cost $15,000 to $40,000 per season at some acad emies. It comes as no surprise then when a family decides to place their child in basketball, baseball, football, or soccer, in which the cost at most is a few thousand dollars per season. Still, it is a high price to pay but is not even close to the cost of playing hockey.

It is nearly impossible to promote a game that most people cannot actually afford to play. It is ironic then that the immense cost of playing the game itself is the reason why professional hockey players do not earn as much as players in other sports.

“I think that this 100th win milestone for me is just an affirmation that I am doing what I’m sup posed to be doing, and doing what I’m supposed to be doing where I’m sup posed to be doing it.”

—Cheryl Jean-Paul

OPINIONS

Why Climate Change is the Greatest Global Issue of Our Time

Rea Klar

On January 13, 2023, my partner Sarah Demian and I will be holding an event boldly titled “Why Climate Change is the Biggest Global Issue of Our Time.” At this event, we will be present ing a version of climate change that is uncommon to Western society. Our goal is to expose the facade of the Western World’s image of climate change by amplifying its globally life-threatening and heart breaking reality. We will also be unpacking our life-changing experiences as observers at the 27th an nual Conference of the Parties of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in Sharm El-Sheikh, Egypt. The COP27 experience greatly strengthened our spiritual lives, fostered invaluable global connections, and fueled our already-existing passion for climate justice.

“The COP27 experience greatly strengthened our spiritual lives, fostered invaluable global connec tions, and fueled our al ready-existing passion for climate change justice.”

On the plane ride to Egypt, there was a moment when I turned to Sarah and confessed the doubts that I was spiralling with at that moment. I asked her questions like, “Why did God put us on this flight to miss weeks of school and send us to Egypt?” and “What are we even fighting for? I am confused if I even believe in the urgency of climate change.” Little did I know that at that very moment my COP27 expe rience had just begun. I was about to experience the most spiritual, thought-provoking, and life-enriching adventure of my studies by attending this United Nations conference.

On this trip, Sarah and I had the opportunity to meet and witness individuals of high social status such as the Prime Minister of Barbados, the Princess of Morocco, and the President of the United States. We also had the opportunity to explore Egyptian culture by touring the Great Pyramids of Giza, visiting the famous Nile River, and building friendships with local Egyptians.

Now, I could plague this article with scientific evi dence that we have accumulated on our trip about climate change, but that is something we will leave for our presentation in January. The central theme of this year’s COP27 was “loss and damage,” which refers to the destructive impact that climate change has had on underdeveloped countries. The world’s largest carbon polluters are countries such as China, the United States, India, and Russia. These countries are socioeconomically more stable than the countries that are affected the most by climate change such as the Philippines, Haiti, Bangladesh, and Kenya. A statistic from the 2022 CDP Africa Report reveals that it is important to recognize that Africa in its entirety contributes “the smallest share of global greenhouse gas emissions with just 3.8 percent”

of climate change. While attending, we were able to hear these stories of loss and damage from around the world, and they absolutely moved us. We heard stories of terror about the Pakistan floods, the effects of floods and forest fires in Canada, and the soaring respiratory illness cases in India. Our hearts were filled with empathy and were disturbed after hearing these stories.

A story in particular that touched my heart was one about a New Zealander who had his son help him collect the remnants of his great-grandmother. On this traditional coast of New Zealand, it is common to bury one’s relatives at the beach. With the rising sea levels caused by climate change, the tides have started approaching higher and higher, wiping ev erything away from the ancestors of New Zealander clans. It was devastating to imagine having to collect the remains of your great-great-grandmother along the seashore. This tragedy was caused by human global warming, leaving its effect on this child. We realized the personal stories that we heard were ones we had to bring back with us to Canada. It quickly became an urgent duty of ours to share these stories coming back to our home.

Editor’s note: Klar and Demian spoke to Mars’ Hill prior to attending COP27. That interview can be found in volume 27, issue 4.

Therefore, this year’s COP27 is focused on the loss and damage that underdeveloped countries have suffered from the irresponsible implications of de veloped countries regarding carbon pollution. Many of the discussions that took place at the conference were rooted around reparations and holding these developed countries accountable for their actions. Historically, for the first time ever these developed countries agreed to set up a fund that will go towards aiding underdeveloped countries with the impacts

“The central theme of this year’s COP27 was “loss and damage,” which refers to the destructive impacts that climate change has had on underdeveloped countries.”

“Delivering Steven Guilbeault a Climate Scarf.” Left to right: Sarah Demian, Rea Klar, Steven Guilbeault (Canadian Minis ter of Environment and Climate Change), and Rynn Zhang.

A Night of Improv: My Newfound Exercise Diego Bascur

Have you ever had a free Tuesday night where you are feeling lazy and sitting in your room staring at the wall? It can be hard to find enjoyable activities that also provide exercise. I find that we so often forget that mental exercise is just as important as physical exercise. Sure, I might go to the gym every other day, but am I getting the mental exercise needed to stay sharp and focused? Probably not. I could not help but wonder, is there any place where I could get physically and mentally jacked? Well, a few nights ago, I found the answer to this question and it is amazing.

listening skills, and has been proven to help cope with anxiety. Not to mention, improv gives your brain a six-pack with all of the exercise your mind is getting.

As this was my first time going, I could not help but feel nervous, fearing a scenario where my mind would suddenly freeze as I stood helplessly on stage with nothing to say. I stepped into the room, feeling cautious but hopeful. And, oh, what a wonderful world improv is, created within the depths of your imagination that takes you to places you thought you would never be. There was an intensity in the heartache, charisma, and moments of raw emotion captured in this workshop. I laughed, and I cried. I stood at times with my mind going a mile a minute in an attempt to continue on some obscure path the scene had taken us. There were scenes that left me physically exhausted, others which left me mentally exhausted, and oftentimes both.

In the magical land of 11:07’s weekly Improv Work shop, I found the opportunity to exercise both my body and mind. For those who do not know, improvi sation acting is performing theatre made up on the spot, with some calling it “spontaneous ensemble theatre.” This weekly workshop held on campus, every Tuesday night at 10 p.m., provides different ex ercises and games that help to improve your improv skills. There are many benefits to improv; it can help to make you feel more positive, builds creativity and

People often say that the anxieties and stressors of life melt away as they take the improv stage. This being my first session, I cannot say that I did not feel anxious or stressed at times, but I did catch a glimpse of what those more experienced must feel. There were moments when I only felt the scene, solely my character, and purely the desire to progress the story. Even if for brief instances, my day-to-day stresses melted away as the performance took over.

Now, improv is not for everyone, and I have yet to see if this will become a regular activity in my life. How ever, I do think it is important to explore, try new things, and to find different ways to be active, both physically and mentally. Sometimes a switch in our regular routine is just what we need to feel refreshed and motivated. Improv is definitely an activity that everyone should try because stepping out of your regular routine is what it is all about.

COVID-19 Lockdown: Did We Learn More Than We Lost?

Alisha Rushton

Editor’s note: This article was the result of a research project for this semester’s GENV 131: Global Environmen tal Issues class with Professor Maxwell Ofosuhene.

If there is one day many North American teenag ers look forward to, it is the day of their sixteenth birthday. That day is a sign of change, a right of passage, the key to freedom. For many, it also means a literal key: a car key.

Not everyone experiences this journey in the same way, but what is always true is the symbolic nature of that first car. The moment when your hands wrap around the steering wheel for the first time, and you take a breath filled with possibility because the desti nation is entirely up to you. That is the moment that you taste freedom.

But is this illustrious ticket to freedom doing more harm than good? Everyone has heard about climate change, and we have all experienced the lon ger-than-average summers, droughts, and storms. Every day we take one step closer to causing irrep arable harm to our ecosystems. Solutions come in small waves: recycling, cutting back on plastics, and reducing food waste. These are tiny changes in our day-to-day lives that can have an enormous impact when widely accepted. One recent incident provid ed a painful display of this fact: the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown.

A new appreciation for a car’s symbolism of free dom was unexpectedly unlocked during March 2020. Abruptly, that bright and shiny symbol was snatched away, and the freedom of direction became restrained. Suddenly, sitting in traffic for two hours did not look so bad because at least you would not be stuck inside your house, staring at the same four walls.

However, while humans withered under these restrictions, nature seemed to flourish. In a study published by the International Journal of Environmental

Health Research, a significant improvement of air quality in Delhi and Mumbai, India was observed during the 2020 lockdown through a decrease nitrogen dioxide by 60 per cent and 78 per cent respectively, as well as several other contaminants. Another study from the Science of the Total Envi ronment found water quality increased in Poland mountain regions due to a reduction in tourism, this was measured through a decrease of 99 × 104 CFU/100 ml to 12 CFU/100 ml in E. coli. The BC provincial inventory of greenhouse gas emissions also saw a significant reduction in emissions during the pandemic, which were down 2.5 million tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalent from road transport between 2019 and 2020.

lifestyles could do for the environment, particularly in the case of reducing carbon dioxide emissions. With cars off the road, Liu et al. revealed in a study published in Nature Communications an astonishing 8.8 per cent drop in global carbon emissions. Re search published by Alava and Singh in Environmental Science & Policy also noted a significant reduction in air pollution and called for greater changes to be made moving forward to benefit not only the planet’s health, but humanity’s as well.

What scientists have been saying for years was finally given a chance to be put to the test. If humans reduce their environmental impact, the earth will start to heal. A painful truth was revealed: we can no longer ignore the reality that our overindulgence in convenience is killing our planet. The lockdown pro vided a unique view of what reducing our excessive

The pandemic and subsequent lockdown were incredibly difficult for everyone, but the research is glaringly conclusive. It appears that the golden key of freedom is better left untouched than turning on the ignition, for both the Earth’s and humanity’s health. Next time, instead of grabbing your keys and heading out the door, consider taking the bus or another type of public transport. Dust off your bike or ask a friend for a ride. Changes do not have to come all at once, but one small step can open the door to a whole new meaning of freedom.

“In the magical land of Improv Workshop, I found the opportunity to exercise both my body and mind.”

“And, oh, what a won derful world improv is, created within the depths of your imagination that takes you to places you thought you would never be. There was an intensity in the heartache, charis ma, and moments of raw emotion captured in this workshop.”

“What scientists have been saying for years was finally given a chance to be put to the test. If humans could reduce their impact, the earth would start to heal. A painful truth was revealed: we can no longer ignore the reality that our overin dulgence in convenience is killing our planet.”

Heart Berries: Terese Marie Mailhot’s Memoir of Heartbreak and Healing

Sadie McDonald

First Nations teacher and writer Terese Marie Mailhot is no stranger to heartbreak. In her 160-page memoir, Heart Berries, she pens both the trials and triumphs of her life having grown up on Seabird Island in British Columbia, from losing custody of her first child to eventually remarrying and graduating with an MFA in fiction from the Insti tute of American Indian Arts in New Mexico.

The opening line sets the tone: “My story was mal treated.” Growing up on the reserve in a dysfunction al family, Mailhot encounters adversity at a young age. At the age of five or six, she is sexually abused by her father when he would invite her to shower with him, and she spent her adolescent years surrounded by her grandmother’s religious convictions and her mother’s delusions.

It was her grandmother who told her about Jesus and the only thing she ever asked Mailhot to do properly was pray, kneeling with eyes closed, which Mailhot comments, “She had conviction but she also taught me to be mindless.” Cultural practices and religious beliefs were muddled as her mother brought healers to their home, and mistaking the visit for an exor cism, Mailhot proclaimed her innocence, with which her mother responded by remarking that this was when she became trouble.

“Mailhot existed in the world in which reality was defined by the generations before her, and

Mailhot existed in a world in which reality was defined by the generations before her, and those generations passed down their legacy, teachings, and trauma. After her marriage at nineteen ended, her ex-husband Vito was awarded full custody of their son; the same day of the court hearing Mailhot gave birth to her second child, Isaiah. When pondering the aftermath, she wonders what kind of person wants one boy and not another: “I learned how to make a honey reduction of the ugly sentences. Still, my voice cracks.”

In Mailhot’s first writing class, the professor told her that the human condition was misery, but Mailhot disagrees, believing that “It’s an Indian condition to be proud of survival but reluctant to call it resilience. Resilience seems ascribed to a human conditioning in white people.” In her first marriage, it was said that they ruined each other. Mailhot married as a teenager because she wanted a safe home, but when her mother died and her marriage fell apart, welfare left Mailhot with no option other than to leave the reserve to get her GED.

This begins the flaming trail of romantic relation ships leaving Mailhot burned each and every time. The first healer was called “Heart Berry Boy,” and is where Heart Berries takes its name. The Heart Berry Boy is also known as “O’dimin,” which means straw berry in the language of the Seabird First Nation.

Mailhot is taught a fiction course by Professor Casey Gray and has an affair with him that ultimately ends because of her deteriorating mental health.

After leaving Casey, Mailhot is suicidal and checks into a behavioural rehabilitation center, agreeing to be committed to the promise that she can write while there. Heart Berries was born right as Mailhot was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar II disorder, and an eating disorder. While struggling to heal from the heartbreak of leaving Casey, Mailhot begins to evaluate her order of priorities and view on life. She believes that people are supposed to look for affirmation in the external world and that self-esteem is “identity capitalism.”

—Terese Marie Mailhot

Upon being discharged she decides to date men who Upon being discharged, she decides to date men who will never see Isaiah, so he does not get hurt by her relationships, but continually goes back to Casey for casual hookups. By the time Mailhot begins her MFA, she and Isaiah stay at Casey’s house sometimes and they decide to have a baby together and procre ate in the middle of a pecan field. As her pregnancy progresses, and without the aid of her bipolar medi cation, she realizes that she learned to cope outside of the hospital but not in her own home.

Despite the ups and downs, Mailhot is now mar ried to Casey Gray and they both teach at Purdue University. Mailhot ends Heart Berries with an abstract miniature essay of questions to her deceased mother, saying, “Mom, I won’t speak to you the way we spoke before. We tried to be explicit with each other. Some knowledge can only be a song or a symbol. Lan guage fails you and me. Some things are too large.” Addressing the generational trauma and pain her upbringing ensued, Mailhot puts down her pen, but not before asking, “Did you foreordain heaven before you died? Was I there on your chest, or did you hold me from the door [sic].”

As described by Joe Fassler from The Atlantic in his ar ticle “The Necessity of ‘Willful Blindness’ in Writing,” “Heart Berries makes for a slim volume, but it feels as though it weighs a thousand pounds.” At times I found this memoir hard to read, not because of the closeness to Mailhot’s trauma but the distance I felt from it. Unlike typical memoirs, there was very little exposition, and readers were subject to Mailhot’s reality without a proper backstory, which sometimes left me confused. I am not Mailhot’s target audience; while misery is a part of the human condition, Mail hot deep dived into specifics that have no relevance to me. Her writing, while intricately crafted, poi gnant, and even humorous at times, unintentionally portrayed herself as self-focused, that in her pain the only one who hurt was her, or at least it felt like it when reading trauma after trauma, and the limited reflection left no space for necessary catharsis.

In my criticism of Heart Berries, I am aware that this is subjective work, especially with a memoir like

Mailhot’s, and I have nothing ill to say of the author or the memoir itself. I have a lot of respect for her and her ability to tell her story. The only caveat is that this memoir is best suited for readers who enjoy reading about generational trauma and dysfunction al relationships from a First Nations perspective. I am glad that I read this book and will happily pass it to the hands of another, for I would probably not read it again.

The majority of reviewers on Goodreads come to the same conclusion about Mailhot’s outside-of-the-box structure: her biggest strength is also her weakness. Several times the memoir lapsed into what can be lik ened to a stream of consciousness, and while poetic and unique, readers are left lost in the outpouring of words, trying to pick through the metaphors to discern the author’s meaning. This is most evident in the final chapter, in which its entirety is questions addressed to her mother, only paused by a paragraph of recollection of abuse and neglect.

Even before the disclosure of her dual diagnosis, it was evident to me that Mailhot was struggling with her mental health, and I believe that some of her writing is incoherent due to her state of mind at the time of writing. However, I know that this is purpose ly kept to show readers what she felt like when at her lowest, and I am only noting that I wish there were an epilogue to clear some passages up. Not a single review criticized Mailhot herself, invalidated her story, or deemed her writing of poor quality. In fact, quite the opposite: the respect for the author and her craft were beaming. But her atypical approach just did not work for many readers, including me. Healing is not linear, and neither is this memoir of heartbreak. Her story may have been maltreated, but there is so much more power in a voice that cracks than one that never speaks at all.

those generations passed down their legacy, teachings, and trauma.”

“I learned how to make a honey reduction of the ugly sentences. Still, my voice cracks.”

Ego Death and Gro ceries

Lorin Scaiano

Winter is upon us, like a floor on the elevator you accidentally pressed the button for, then accidentally stepped out into when the door opened, then got stuck on because the elevator malfunctioned, then the windows and stairs disappeared. With winter comes dry lips. And brother, my lips are dry.

A friend of mine was going to Costco, so I asked them to grab me some vaseline for my parched, cracked, aching lips. I expected them to return with a small tub. Maybe a mod erate-sized one. Like a November goose near a magnet factory, I was woefully wrong.

The official volume of the container? A “baby full.” What the hell is a babyfull? It was about the size of a baby, but who measured that?

Thinking it was a one-off thing, I looked at what else they had bought.

1 buttload of cheese puffs

3 hoppus feet of guacamole

2 inflated balloons of fries

16 miner’s inches of fondue

4 graves of fishbones

1 acre-foot of wine

5 whale brains of spinach

Good heavens.

I felt my world unravel around me. Insignifi cance took hold of my mind, only comparable to that of a French scrabble champion being beaten by a Swede who doesn’t speak the lan guage. I realized that volume was arbitrary.

Who am I to say whether a cubic foot is more valid than a babyfull? What’s a gallon com pared to a whale brain? Why does a kilogram command more respect than a miner’s inch? I am no greater nor more correct on measure ments than anyone else.

So I surrender. Costco wins. I need not follow any standard but those set before me by the club—nay, the institution of Costco. My mem bership before my life.

HUMOUR

Krampus, You’ve Got a PR Problem

David Witzke

That’s right Krampus, you can keep your el dritch horror and birch rods this year, but we’ve gotta discuss your PR problem.

Why would anyone worry about a semi-mythical demon figure from northern European Alpine lore in this economy?

I pay more in tuition each semester than my car is worth. Okay, my car isn’t worth much, but this still isn’t acceptable. How am I supposed to afford Christmas presents? My shopping list right now is a la carte from the Home Depot clearance section. Everyone gets safety gloves this year, especially after what happened to last year’s Christmas dinner. I don’t fear eldritch demons; I fear the CRA and student loans.

I’ve got bills to pay, family Christmas photos to take, and soirees to attend. So I once again ask, why would I worry about Santa Claus’ lesser-known sidekick when the perfectly real looming collapse of society is just around the cor ner? If we make it through Christmas without the world burning down, I’d be surprised. Between office Christmas parties, Christmas light exhibits that cost $40 to attend, and Mariah Carey’s song thawing from its icy prison, we already have a sure-fire mixture for an empty mind and an emp ty wallet. I’ll take St. Nicky’s kick-ass sidekick who dispenses coal and whoopings on Christmas any day over the horrors of climate change.

You’re the Robin to Santa’s Batman, Krampus! You’re out here doing the work while Santa receives all the credit. Everyone thinks Santa drops all the coal in the stockings and he takes all the credit, while you’re out here slaving for the man throughout central and eastern Europe. It has been hundreds of years, and you have never gotten even one promotion. If you think wage stagnation is bad right now, try being an eldritch Christmas demon for a few hundred years with no pay raise, and see how you like it. Does this sound like a Christmas demon to fear or to car pool with to the picket lines?

Can we talk about your festivals for a minute, Krampus? Those things are legit. Getting to run through the streets with the boys in a European alpine town and making mischief dressed as a cloven-hooved and antlered-nightmare Christmas man sounds incredible. Sign me up right now! I would pay money to do that.

The Josh Report

Date and time: 2022-11-26, 11:42.

Location: The Music Building. Student Suspicion Level: Moderate.

REPORT: Our last report may have been alarming, but do not fret. The Josh is currently in the process of rehabilitation. See, he became too close to a flock of geese near RNT. Instead of imitating the behaviour of the students like he was SUPPOSED TO, The Josh began to copy the geese. This result ed in him chasing and hissing at students. He even tried to fly off of the Jacobson roof. Thankfully, The Josh has better-than-average healing prop erties. After a hard reboot, he should be good as new.

Look, as great as your festival is, live events are a horrible way to get your name out there. Movies, TV shows, the internet, you name it and you need it, but your pop culture presence is a mess. You have no brand presence! You got a brief spotlight in a single horror film, but come on, they have made like 20 movies about that guy with a saw, so I feel like the Krampus brand could get a little more exposure at this point. While Santa spreads benevolence with oranges, nuts, and dried fruits to the Alpine children of Europe, you are stuck with coal and corporal punishment! How is this fair? Look, I don’t even blame you in some cases. Hitting children is probably bad, but that was a fad in the (13)90s; we’re long past that now.

You’ve updated with the times: you’ve got your chains from the Christians and put on some fun festivals now. Still, your online presence is ter rible. The social footprint of the cloven-hoofed Christmas dude is so stuck in the past that you don’t even have an Instagram account or a track er app. Santa’s got like four tracker apps.

Christmas with Mars’ Hill Crossword

David Witzke & Seth Schouten

ACROSS

1. Jesus’ first crib

4. A much-loved musician in the year end survey.

7. Flying Christmas mammal

8. Eldritch Christmas Demon from Europe’s Alpine Region.

9. The name of last year’s Christ mas issue.

11. A commonly celebrated Christ mas-related event in January.

12. An object set on fire in a Ha nukkah menorah.

DOWN

2. An annoying Christmas movie

3. The name of the first Sunday in Advent

5. Who did Santa Claus slap in 325 AD?

6. In Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, what does Marv smell other than fish?

8. Occassionally in shades of green.

10. The best place to get hot choc olate on campus

Christmas Creep

Valerie Mihelic

Alright, let’s not beat around the bush. We’ve all felt it, we’ve all seen it: the sanctity of the spooky, fun candy holiday known as Halloween is being violated more and more brazenly every year. Heck, I didn’t even make it out of September this year without being exposed to Christ mas lights and Holly Jolly’s and the seemingly unending flood of films primarily about Princes from similar-to-yet-legally-and-cultur ally-distinct-not-Englands whose entire society and economy seem inexplicably and unwisely tied to Christmas. The entire state of affairs has gotten out of hand.

Now, I’m not saying people can’t get excited for a holiday early; I love Christmas. The problem is that I am a Halloweenie and, therefore, love Halloween slightly more. I think this is an issue that has more worrisome implications. Christmas Creep, as it is called, is starting earlier and earlier, and I think I know why: climate change. No, seriously.

The temperature is all over the place. For instance, it took a couple weeks for the weather to remem ber it is supposed to be October this year. This inconsistency is leading to an outbreak of Yuletide cheer way too early, and I know the source. Because of climate change, Mariah Carey is thawing from her ice prison quicker and quicker each year. I wish this wasn’t the case, but here we are.

The thawing of one Mariah Carey is a very precise art: carefully controlled and accounted for. If it happens too soon, we burn through Joy and Merriment months before our human nature was ever intended to. If it’s too late, Christmas is not as special. Despite the precision required, the process of timing is fairly casual; instead of being placed in a climate-con trolled room, the Mariah Ice Prison is instead formed to a specific thickness and left on public display, both as a visual indicator and as part of tradition.

Normally, the natural high and low-temperature range leads to a balanced ebb and flow, with maybe a week or two of Creep. But due to wilder weather patterns, she is thawing more than the ice is set tling. Those few extra millimetres a month do add up. A single crack deep enough is all it takes for her voice to start breaking through, and you all know what happens from there.

I know it doesn’t seem like it to some of you, but this is a disaster. No one is ready or prepared to handle the consequences of an Eternal Christmas. Yet if things keep carrying on this way, that is exactly where we’re headed. I mean, there’s also the likely ecolog ical collapse due to decades of lack of care and proper stewardship for the planet, but y’all knew that one already.

Oh, Deer

Beth Jones

As we know, Santa Claus does not operate that big sleigh on his own. He gets help from eight trusty reindeer. Altogether, this renowned team makes countless trips all over the world, stopping at every home in every country on all seven continents. However, many people have always wondered: how does he keep the reindeer in flight, pulling the sleigh without making any stops to let them rest or give them something to eat to replenish their energy? Surely, all of that constant pulling and aerial galloping would be quite tiring to the point where a rest stop and food would be necessary, right?

Recently, teams of animal nutritionists have been looking into how Mr. Kringle is able to keep his fleet of reindeer in flight for extremely long durations of time while visiting every city on every continent, without giving them some kind of rest and refuelling. When asked, “Mr. Claus, how are you able to keep the reindeer in flight for such long peri ods of time?” He responded with, “The reindeer are able to maintain long-term flight with help from a drink I invented for them.” When asked what the drink was, Mr. Kringle responded with, “Red Deer. It gives you wings.”

Merry Christmas

from everyone at Mars’ Hill !

“My favourite holiday beverage is a beloved classic: hot chocolate. Besides crackling fires and snuggling under neath fuzzy blankets, drinking a nice warm mug of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows is an excellent way to stay cozy this holiday season. Also, eggnog is absolutely disgusting, and anyone who thinks otherwise is welcome to write an Opinions article defending their position.”

—Sadie

“I still remember tasting a Chestnut Praline Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks for the first time. It was, quite frankly, life-changing, and it has been the treat I look forward to most during the hol idays. The extra flavour does not make the latte too sweet; on the contrary, it adds another level of spice to your chai tea that is missing ten months out of the year. To me, it is the epitome of Christ massy flavours rolled into one drink that warms you up from the inside.”

—Ava

“It is hard to pick just one favourite Christmas treat! However, the one food that will always remind me of Christ mastime is the chocolate peanut butter square. My Mom makes these each year in time for the Christmas season, and they are perfection on a plate. A soft but chewy bar gives way to a sweet, silkysmooth layer of chocolate and peanut butter. A huge runner-up is stollen, a German fruitcake that my family picks up each year. A dense cake filled with dried fruit and marzipan does not sound very cool, but trust me, it is a must-have for every Christmas season.”

—David

“I always find myself so tired around the holidays; after all, keeping up a holly jol ly Christmas spirit is exhausting. That is why I always keep a glass of Bullnog near by. Bullnog, for those unaffiliated, is a luscious pairing of Red Bull and eggnog. The silky nog and the tangy Bull dance like sugarplum fairies in my stomach and leave my heart racing with what I can only assume is Christmas cheer. This ef fervescent elixir is best paired with those frosted sugar cookies from Walmart that melt in your mouth or just a plain old cinnamon stick eaten raw.”

—Bailey

“Two words: Christmas cheesecake. More specifically, my mom’s homemade Christmas cheesecake. From the buttery crumble of the graham cracker crust to the smooth, silky texture of the cream cheese, this delicious dessert seems to descend from Heaven, a gift given spe cifically to me. With each bite, the cream cheese melts away the troubles of my life, as the graham cracker crust provides a flavoursome foundation for me to stand on. To be honest, I think it might be my mom’s calling, her art form. Much like an artist, her passionate baking inspires and amazes, as only some have come close to her genius. As Christmas soon approach es, my dreams are filled with the smells and tastes of my mom’s homemade cheesecake, the only true love in my life.”

—Diego

Looking for a fun Holiday snack? Try one of these favourites from our team!

On the couch (left-to-right): Tomiwa Oyedokun, Hope Evans, Sadie McDonald, Bailey Froese. Back Row: Julianne Jones, Diego Bascur, Seth Schouten, David Witzke, Zaeya Winter. Not pictured: Ava Gili, Berk Berkeliev, Jared Klassen.

Christmas Christian Horoscopes

Ah Christmas, a religious holiday dedicated to the sacredness of profit. Sounds like your cup of tea! You should mass-produce and sell some thing this Christmas, like silly holiday mugs or pre-written exams. Nothing says “Christmas Spirit” like exploiting the proletariat for cheap labour, and I predict it will be great practice for your future.

NURSING

BC Christmases are occasionally white, but mostly wet. When Jack Frost comes to town, that rain usually turns to ice, which means lots of injuries. Brace yourselves for a lot of on-thespot nursing labs, as a Tiktok trend will arise involving licking icy surfaces and sticking one’s tongue to them. Yes, you will have to pull a lot of first-years from light posts. Yes, someone’s tongue will rip off. Yes, the nursing department will be sued for the incident. Yes, that kid’s tongue will grow back, develop a mouth of its own, and start yelling horrible things at red heads. It’s a whole thing.

EDUCATION

I’m sorry to tell you that you will develop a terri ble Squishmallow addiction this Christmas. You will buy so many that you will plunge into grave financial debt with nothing left but Marcus

the Pink Sparkly Octopus and Betty the Purple Puffin. You will be left on the streets, reciting the names and elaborate backstories of all your Squishmallows to pedestrians for spare change.

HKIN

Rejoice, Spartans! TWU has joined a new competitive sports league: bobsledding. The Bobsledding Team is having tryouts today down the DeVries stairs next to Rooted. There will be fake snow, hot chocolate for all onlookers, and a winter edition of the Sparty costume, complete with earmuffs. All team members will immedi ately qualify for the 2026 Milan Winter Olym pics, so get your chiselled butts down there for a small taste of global fame.

NATURAL & APPLIED SCIENCES

I predict that one of your chemistry majors will be the first to figure out the best ratios for gin gerbread cookies. It seems like the spices or tex ture are always off in gingerbread; it’s either too bland, too hard, too crumbly, or all of the above.

You should do something about that. Publish a paper detailing the perfect gingerbread ingre dient ratios. Maybe bring a gingerbread man to life like Frankenstein’s monster along the way. You may need to dig up some gingerbread corpses for that.

SOCIAL SCIENCES

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why; seven ty-eight per cent of you will fail your exams. Sorry.

HUMANITIES

Did you know that according to astrological positioning, Jesus was likely born in March? I predict that some of you will get upset that we don’t celebrate Christmas then and lobby for the swapping of holidays on campus. St. Pat rick’s Day will be moved to December 25th and Christmas will be moved to March 17th. Better get your green non-alcoholic beverages ready!

SAMC

Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned kid’s Christmas pageant? You theatre kids should put on a retelling of the Nativity story in Freedom Hall, complete with bedsheet robes, cotton-ball sheep, a creepy baby doll in the manger, ador able line butchering, and a crying child who pukes from stage fright. I think Seth Schouten would fit the last role perfectly.

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