FLAWLESS
stop acting so small. you are the universe in ecstatic motion.
CONTENTS PAGE READING
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SPEAK UP why do women sit down and nod instead of standing up for their rights and why we have we change that.
what are we reading this month
Page 2: Make up-a horror story. why was make up invented and why do we still use it today. Page 14: Street Style. Our monthly section dedicated to your street style. This month we went to London. Page 17: I know places The three dream destinations of this month.
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YOUR VOICE IS OUR STORY This month submission is a poem on rape culture. Better open your eyes.
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MAKE UP a horror story
Make up has always been in our lives Why do some women wear make up? And how was it possible for it to become one of the biggest industries in the world? Women and make up have always had a complicated relationship. Like it or not, make up has been used for centuries. Archaeologists have discovered trace of body painting from over 50.000 years ago in South Africa. Body modification has been here for a very long time! If you want to be a bit more stricter, and say that make up is something that we apply to our faces to make us look more “beautiful� than we can go back to about 3thousand years ago where Egyptians actually applied a combination of burnt almonds, copper, different colored coppers ores, lead, ashes and ochre (called kohl) to their eyes to change their appearance.
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Then we have Chinese people who used different colours to stain their fingernails to represent social class. Then the women paint their faces with rice powder to make their faces look white. Greek women used white paint and crushed mulberries as rouge. In India henna is used as a hair dye and to paint complex forms on to the hands and feet, especially before a Hindu wedding. We are now in 1200 AD where perfumes are imported to Europe from the Middle East. In Elizabethan England, red hair comes into fashion. Women wear egg whites over their faces to look like they have a paler complexion. In 1800 Queen Victoria declares make up improper and vulgar. And in 1900 make up usage grow in older women as pressure started to increase on them to appear younger while acting as hostesses. So the real question is why do we do that? Yes, we wear it because we feel pretty and more confident when we use it, but why does it work? Well, as funny as it may seem, if we watch the animal kingdom we will find our answer. Animals have some crazy ritual that both female and male utilize to attract each other and for female to prove they are fertile and can have healthy progeny. We humans lack of these signals and rituals. It is almost impossible to tell if a woman is fertile right? Nope. If we look at make up across cultures and eras, we find that, usually, make up is used to even the complexion, darken the eyes, pinker the cheeks and redden the lips. Yes you got it, make up works be-
cause it imitates our natural signs of youths and fertility. Studies have in fact shown that a woman’s face is more attractive near ovulation. During this time cheeks are pink and lips are redder, even without make up. Then women are naturally darker around their eyes so we use cosmetics to exaggerate the sex difference. Foundation? That is what makes our skin looks pure and younger. Easy right? So we came to the magical power of make up. Now let’s talk about how make up can make us feel confident and beautiful everyday. Are we aware of the fact that we are playing into a ritual that is centuries old? Do we really wear make up to attract male partners? Well, yes. In a sense we do. If make up makes you feel confident and ready to go out there, meet people, speak up and all the rest than you are using it to attract other people. They are thinking you are really confident and have potential. Women who wear make up at work are considered to be more successful and confident. Yes, we, women are wearing make up to say to others we are cool and comfortable with who we are even if we are covering up our little flaws. But, what about the people who don’t wear make up? Are they not confident? Yes. They are, they just don’t need something like face paint to prove that. Some of us do, some of us don’t but that is not a problem.
Make up is and should be used to express yourself. Prove yourself to the world. And if you want to wear crazy make up, do it. Who doesn’t love crazy make up? Guys? So, it might not attract a male but damn it we love green eyeliner. Yes science can explain why we find some features more attractive than others-in a way. But factors like voice, expressions, body language and personality cannot be forgotten. Make up may help us get all those beautiful things out there and help our inner beauty shine through.
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SPEAK
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LADIES.
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Studies have shown that when in a group, women tend to speak less than 75 per cent of the time that men do. This is really not news for us but seeing it written in number makes it worst. z+z+ Have you ever been in a meeting and wanted to speak up but didn’t? And after you were disappointed with yourself? Have you ever been offended or harassed but never spoke up? And after you felt frustrated? Why do women do that? Men are raised to be assertive while women are raised thinking that no one will ever take us seriously anyway. So why don’t women speak up? Even when people offend us we tend to sat quietly. This behaviour is offensive and hostile for women. There are men who treat women as sexualized creatures and who think they have complete control over our lives and bodies. As women we don’t step up in a situation where there is a verbal aggression toward us. So yes my question was, why do women sit back and nod instead? First of all, we are afraid that men will direct their aggression toward us. We don’t want to feel awkward or out of place. We need to protect ourselves since no one else will do it for us. So, instead of speaking up, we turn away. Because we are scared. The solution is easy. Speak up, fight back. Tell them that you are finding what they said offensive and you would like them to stop. Believe me, your self-esteem will rise. Maybe nobody will support you but you should reply even if you are afraid of the consequences.
Most likely, however, you will get support because that someone else is just too scared and waiting for you to speak up first. Another problem is that we think we are the only one who are offended and others won’t care. This doesn’t matter. Firstly because usually once one speaks others follows. But even if they do not, you still need to let your voice be heard. Maybe we are just afraid we will ruin the “joke” or the mood. “Come on it’s just a joke!Don’t be such a noisy girl” How many times have you heard that? Me a lot, for sure. People are having a good time, they are making a rape joke but that is just a joke right? Well maybe they are having fun, but you aren’t. You are as human as them and you deserve respect. Dear lady reading this, next time you hear something you find offensive, please shut people up. You are allowed to! Feel free to show them how bitchy you can be, who wants them to like you anyway? Or we are so damn angry that we feel like we could lose it all. We all know that anger grows and grows inside us because we are human beings at that is normal. But then it will eventually blow up and that is no good at all. What you should do in that case is take a deep breath, and practice what you want to say. If you seem angry than be it. Whatever, there is nothing wrong with being mad, especially if someone is insulting you in any way. Another case could be that we are so afraid that people won’t like us after we speak up that we do nothing. We all know what they think already. “Wow she is such a feminist one of those who can’t even take a joke” well, so be it. This is no joke for you, is no joke for us so it’s our
responsibility to take a stand. Sometimes we don’t listen to our instinct and we let everything go. When you heard something sexist or offensive is really hard to follow your first feel? Maybe you are shy or you are just scared. But don’t. Don’t question yourself and go for it. That offense is shouting to be shut down and you should be the one to do it. So, now, think this whole story of speaking up and standing up is not just you against the world. It’s us. And, surprise surprise, it is a men issue as well. Verbal assault should not only be left to women. Men lose our respect not only when they offend us but also when they don’t speak up. Some of them might laugh at us, some of them may offend us but we will always stick with the ones who support us and this is something everyone should remember. The non-action of both men and women in these situations only increases the problem. Martin Luther King once said “It is not the words of our enemies we will remember, but the silence of our friend.” So, to conclude, don’t speak-easy ladies! Use that pretty little mouth of yours to spit words out. Refuse to be silent and talk really loud. No one can tell you not to reply when you are offended. Find your voice, get angry. You are a human being, remember that.
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our voice is our story. Rape culture is when I was six, and my brother punched my two front teeth out. Instead of reprimanding him, my mother said “Stefanie, what did you do to provoke him?” When my only defense was my mother whispering in my ear, “Honey, ignore him. Don’t rile him up. He just wants a reaction.” As if it was my sole purpose, the reason six-year-old me existed, was to not rile up my brother. It’s starts when we’re six, and ends when we grow up assuming the natural state of a man is a predator, and I must walk on eggshells, as to not “rile him up.” Right, mom? Rape culture is when through casual dinner conversation, my father says that women who get raped are asking for it. He says, “I see them on the streets of New York City, with their short skirts and heavy makeup. Asking for it.” When I used to be my father’s hero but will he think I was asking for it? (will he think) Will he think I deserved it? Will he hold me accountable or will he hold me, even though the touch of a man - especially my father’s burns as if I were holding the sun in the palm of my hand. Rape culture is you were so ashamed, you thought it would be easier for your parents to find you dead, than to say, “Hey mom and dad,” It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for it. I never asked for this attention, I never asked to be a target, to be weak because I was born with two X chromosomes, to walk in fear, to always look behind me, in front of me, next to me, I never asked to be the prey. I never wanted to spend my life being something someone feasts upon, a meal for the eternally starved. I do not want to hear about the way I taste anymore. I will not let you eat me alive. Rape culture is I shouldn’t defend my friend when an overaggressive frat boy has his hand on her ass, because standing up for her body “makes me a target.” Women are afraid to speak up, because they fear their own lives - but I’d rather take the hit than live in a culture of silence. I am told that I will always be the victim, pre-determined by the DNA in my weaker, softer body. I have birthing hips, not a fighter’s stance. I am genetically pre-dispositioned to lose every time.
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Rape culture is he was probably abused as a child. When he even has some form of a justification and all I have are the things that provoked him, and the scars from his touch are woven of the darkest and toughest strings, underneath the layer of my skin. Rape culture leaves me finding pieces of him left inside of me. A bone of his elbow. The cap of his knee. There is something so daunting in the way that I know it will take me years to methodically extract him from my body. And that twinge I will get sometimes in my arm fifteen years later? Proof of the past. Like a tattoo I didn’t ask for. Somehow I am permanently inked. Rape culture is you can’t wear that outfit anymore without feeling dirty, without feeling like you somehow earned it. You will feel like you are walking on knives, every time you wear the shoes you smashed his nose in with. Imaginary blood on the bottom of your heels, thinking, maybe this will heal me. Those shoes are your freedom, But the remains of a life long fight. You will always carry your heart, your passion, your absolute will to live, but also the shame and the guilt and the pain. I saved myself but I still feel like I’m walking on knives. Rape culture is “Stefanie, you weren’t really raped, you were one of the lucky ones.” Because my body wasn’t penetrated by a penis, but fingers instead, that I should feel lucky. I should get on my hands and knees and say, thank you. Thank you for being so kind. Rape culture is “things could have been worse.” “It’s been a month, Stefanie. Get out of bed.” “You’ll have to get over this eventually.” “Don’t let it ruin your life.” Rape culture is he told you that after he touched you, no one would ever want you again. And you believed him. Rape culture is telling your daughters not to get raped, instead of teaching your sons how to treat all women. That sex is not a right. You are not entitled to this. The worst possible thing you can call a woman is a slut, a whore, a bitch. The worst possible thing you can call a man is a bitch, a pussy, a girl. The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl.
Being a woman is the ultimate rejection, the ultimate dismissal of strength and power, the absolute insult. When I have a daughter, I will tell her that she is not an insult. When I have a daughter, she will know how to fight. I will look at her like the sun when she comes home with anger in her fists. Because we are human beings and we do not always have to take what we are given. They all tell her not to fight fire with fire, but that is only because they are afraid of her flames. I will teach her the value of the word “no” so that when she hears it, she will not question it. My daughter, Don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love you have for yourself and the lengths you go to preserve it. My daughter, I am alive because of the fierce love I have for myself, and because my father taught me to protect that. He taught me that sometimes, I have to do my own bit of saving, pick myself off the ground and wipe the dirt off my face, because at the end of the day, there is only me. I am alive because my mother taught me to love myself. She taught me that I am an enigma - a mystery, a paradox, an unfinished masterpiece and I must love myself enough to see how I turn out. I am alive because even beaten, voiceless, and back against the wall, I knew there was an ounce of me worth fighting for. And for that, I thank my parents. Instead of teaching my daughter to cover herself up, I will show her how to be exposed. Because no is not “convince me”. No is not “I want it”. You call me, “Little lady, pretty girl, beautiful woman.” But I am not any of these things for you. I am exploding light, my daughter will be exploding light, and you, better cover your eyes.
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LOOKING GOOD.
Street Style
this month we went to london
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I know places...
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1.Venice ; 2.Manchester ; 3.London
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I Feel Like Reading
Our monthly book dedicated section has chosen four amazing ladies books for you. This month we decided to read only modern writers from all over the world Enjoy and let us know what your favourite is.
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The woman who went to bed for a year-Sue
Townsend
Eva has decided to climb into bed and stay there. Her husband, Brian, is upset. Who will cook? Who will clean? Eva is just seeking attention but her action spreads rumors. Fans, who believe she is protesting, gather in the streets, while her new friend, Alexander, brings tea, toats and sympathy. From this place, Eva begins to see the world in a really different way.
SULA
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Toni Morrison
Sula and Nel are two young black girls. Clever but poor. They grow up together, then Sula breaks free from their small-town community to roam the cities of America. When she returns ten years later, much has changed. Including Nell, who now has a husband and three children. Their friendship become strained and the whole town grows wary as Sula continues in her wayward, vagabond ways.
ON BEAUTY-
Zadie Smith
Set in New England, On Beauty is about a couple of families-the Belseys and the Kippses- and a clutch of doomed affairs. It puts low morals among high ideals and ask questions about what life does to love. For the Belseys and the Kippses, the confusion of our uncertain age are about to be brought close to home: right to the heart of family. Why do we fall in love with the people we do? Why do we visit our mistakes on our children? What makes life truly beautiful?
The Little Old Lady Who Broke All The Rules-
Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg
79-year-old Martha dreams of escaping her care home and robbing a bank. Along with her four friends, she decides to rebel against the regulations imposed upon them. Together, they protest against early bedtimes and plasticky meals. They plan to break out of the care home and go to a more attractive Stockholm establishment. they stand up for pensioners everywhere and that’s when the adventure really starts...
NW -
Zadie Smith
NW follows four Londoners after they’ve left their council estate, grow up and moved to different lives. After a chance encounter they each find that the choices they’ve made, the people they once were and are now, can suddenly unravel. A portrait of modern urban life. Funny and sad this novel is a brillian portrait of the city and its people. 20
This month we’ve been loving...
Website:
Feminist:
femsplain a new platform for women who want to be heard and seen. Everyone can contribute which is what makes it so interesting. Go check it out! Taylor Swift how can anybody not love her? We love this new Taylor very much. She is single, she is strong, happy and feminist. We cannot stop listening to her new song. Our brains become blank spaces every time we hear her talk.
Picture: London
Selfridges.