SELF CARE - Beyond Bubble Baths

BOULDER COUNTY KIDS HEALTH Self-Care: Beyond Bubble Baths to Boundaries

by Jessica Dancingheart

When life throws us curve balls, as is the case with the current pandemic, self-care is more critical than ever. This means learning to say YES to activities that nourish us and are aligned with our values and missions, and saying NO to everything else.

This simple advice is harder to follow when we are bombarded with the three Ds: demands, distractions and dilemmas; especially, if we don’t take a pause and become clear on what would serve our highest well-being.

To be responsive rather than reactive when faced with the three Ds, it helps to have a rubric—one that you can use to evaluate the actions that will serve you and your family’s highest good. As you create one, consider identifying your:

1. Goals.

You may want to ask yourself: “At the end of the day or week or year or decade, what will matter most to me? What will I want to have accomplished?” In the context of parenting, you may ask questions such as, “Do I want a child who is obedient, or one who taps into their inner compass and can be thoughtful?” “In order of priority, what life skills are the ones I want my child to have?” “What kind of household do I want to create?”

2. Values.

To get to your values, you may ask yourself, “In order of priority, what qualities would make me feel most proud as I achieve my goals?” Your answers may include: kindness, consideration, personal responsibility, responsibility for the greater good, honesty, integrity, reliability, tolerance, open-mindedness, curiosity, inter-dependence…

3. Self-care Activities.

As you think of self-care, think of how to take care of your physical, emotional, social, mental, AND spiritual needs. Mainstream media tells us that self-care comes packaged in products and services. Yet, getting those products or using them, may actually create more stress than they contribute to nurturing our whole being. You get to decide what activities, settings, situations, people and rituals nurture and energize your whole-being. This may or may not include advertised products and services. Only you know.

Once you have a rubric, it becomes easier to not cave into demands, glom onto distractions, and tax yourself with dilemmas, because you will have your very own inner compass with which to evaluate what serves your and your family’s highest well-being.

I encourage you to take the time to create a rubric for yourself. Review it daily so it becomes embedded in your being and you can use it reflexively to evaluate if a habit or activity nourishes you and is in service of your goals and values. Revisit it regularly to fine-tune it.

I would love to know how creating and applying an evaluation tool helps you stay focused and on track to achieving your goals, and in integrity with your values, as you take care of your whole self. Please reach out by phone or email with feedback

or questions.

Jessica Dancingheart is a personal and organizational consultant working to build healthier and stronger relationships at work, at home, and in your communities. Please check out www.openingtopossibilities.com or call (303) 589-8420 or email at jessica@openingtopossibilities.com for more information.

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