The small magazine with a BIG mouth.
June 2008
Issue 2
ST NEOTS’ comedy & tragedy
AREYOU responsible?
RACISM’S double standard OVER 30? you survived! PLUS! 10 ‘interesting’ facts, In Short, Sound Bites, Summer word search and more...
The comedy and the tragedy of bringing live shows to St Neots.
The Odd Couple; great show, shame about the venue.
I
t was a hot summer’s evening and I arrived at the Priory Centre about 30 minutes before the performance to find a queue for the box office. Luckily, some friends were already waiting and so I started chatting with them. Fifteen minutes later, in a queue of just seven people, we were finally served by an attendant who, whilst friendly, appeared in no particular hurry to get us to our seats. Tickets in hand, we made our way through reception and to the bar where, with throats as dry as a pharaoh’s socks, we joined yet another queue of about 10 people, all sighing and shifting their weight between feet whilst shooting daggers at the one person behind the bar who, not unlike her colleague, was in no particular hurry to serve. This wasn’t a good start to the evening, made worse by the fact that it was uncomfortably hot in the centre. Most of us tired fairly quickly of the second wait that we nominated one poor sod to stay behind with a tray whilst we went through and joined a relatively good audience. Within minutes, it was time for the show to begin (and curtain up had been delayed – guess why). I hadn’t really seen The Odd Couple film before but for a few snippets here and there and so had no preconceived ideas as to what to expect but it wasn’t long before most of us were laughing out loud at a play that had three acts but didn’t feel like it. Led by Simon Ockenden and Don McKay, the cast did a good job at delivering both comedic and sensitive performances whilst battling with American accents that, to be perfectly honest, weren’t the best in the world, with exception of Simon Ockenden whose performance as Felix, McKay’s neurotic, hypochondriac housemate, was
utterly believable, engaging, thought provoking and hilarious. This was without a doubt a quality production and one of which both veteran director, Isobella Coleman, and The St Neots Players should be proud. But for the poor service at the beginning of the evening, it would have been a thoroughly enjoyable experience. It wasn’t so long ago that non professional group, VAMPS, announced show cancellations blaming soaring hire costs at the Priory compounded by its decision to reduce the discount to the group that, not unlike the St Neots Players, has been using St Neots’ only entertainment centre for decades. Getting bums on seats is notoriously difficult and audience numbers are dwindling more each year. Ken Livingstone recognised this a while ago and launched an initiative to get people into the West End by subsidising theatre tickets sales. I’m often reading that St Neots Mayor is keen to take up new initiatives for the benefit of the town. He may want to consider that unless the town council steps in soon to curb the astronomical costs of hiring the Priory Centre, it may actually be contributing to the demise live performances of this genre in the town. As for Priory Centre Management, the basic laws of business dictate; you can charge more for a good product than you can for a mediocre one. My sporadic visits to the Priory Centre have only proved that the quality of your product does not justify the cost increase. You’re hired by local groups not only to provide a venue but a box office and bar service, from which you make additional money, it would be nice if your staff recognised this and behaved accordingly by providing a more organised and expeditious service. T.M.
a
Different Angle Magazine
Issue 2 / June 2008
Like buses, some magazines come late or in twos!
H
ello and welcome to the second edition of a Different Angle magazine. It only seems a few weeks since I was last writing to you, for some, it will indeed be that way since you may be receiving a combined delivery of both issue s 1 and 2 of this magazine. Yes, I’m sorry to say that despite careful planning, we were unable to secure a reliable distribution service which means that this magazine may be reaching you somewhat late. Thankfully, I think we’ve now secured a more reliable door to door delivery with ‘professionals’ so things should run much more efficiently going forward, we hope!
Still, if you look on the bright side, most of you will be able to compare issues 1 and 2 and see that we’ve already made some major changes to the format and, most importantly, increased the number of pages to 12. We’ve been talking to many advertisers interested in featuring in future issues and we didn’t want the lack of space to have an impact on our articles. So, what’s inside? We have a review of the St Neots Players’ production of The Odd Couple, and Priory Centre service. A view on racism’s double standard, not quite what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, a look at the relatively new phenomenon known as ‘junk sleeping’, and to wash that all down, a good collection of funnies that will hopefully have you chuckling and everybody else wondering. (See pages 5 and 10)
Congratulations! You survived.
St Neots’ Comedy & Tragedy .
Are you responsible?
Racism's Double Standard.
PUBLISHED Every quarter by Marturano Enterprises. CIRCULATION Delivered free and direct to 15,000 homes, businesses, public places and online at: www.adifferentangle.co.uk
Have a great summer and happy reading! P.S. Thanks very much for your emails. We really do like to hear from you with any feedback, story suggestions or if you simply have something to get off your chest! Tony Marturano Managing Editor
ADVERTISING For information and rates, email mail@adifferentangle.co.uk NEXT EDITION September 2008 CONTACT mail@adifferentangle.co.uk www.adifferentangle.co.uk © Copyright Marturano Enterprises 2008
Are you stepping up to your responsibilities? The other day I was reading an article about teenagers who apparently are not getting enough sleep due to an increasing number of electrical distractions in their bedrooms, such as MP3 players, mobile phones, TVs etcetera. Apparently, more than a quarter of the thousand 12 to 16 year olds surveyed admitted falling asleep either watching TV, listening to music or with other equipment still running. A third said that they slept, on average, for 4 to 7 hours per night. Experts recommend eight. 40% of those surveyed said they were often tired during the day whilst only 10% placed importance on a good n i g h t ’ s s l e e p .
‘junk sleeping’; sleep that is neither the length nor quality that it should be in order to feed the brain with the quality of rest it needs, appears to be on the increase and the stern advice is that children be educated as to the importance of sleep. Now, I ask you, is this really news? It’s understood that our society is changing and my mother doesn’t hesitate in reminding me that, when she was a child, she was lucky to have food on the table. It’s no mystery that a good night’s sleep is important to all of us and not just our children. If you were to read the article at face value, it would be easy to mistake technology as the new villain of our modern age but isn't this the This worrying news, known as usual case of moderation? “You A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
4
can have too much of a good thing” becomes synonymous with “you’ve been watching TV for too long and now it’s time f o r b e d . I’m a self confessed gadget freak but it doesn't matter how nifty these things may get, there’s always one thing that tells me when enough is enough, and that’s my common sense. It’s a parent’s responsibility to look out for the well being of a child, whether that be ensuring a good night’s sleep or helping them develop with a basic moral foundation that enables them to get the best out of life. Good parenting is not allowing them to spend an extraordinary amount of time with the electronic babysitter or allowing them to roam the streets after
the watershed just to get some peace after a hard day at work. In a world where ‘instant messaging’, ‘instant credit, ‘fast food’ and ‘24 hour shopping’ are king, you would have thought that each of us would have copious amounts of free time but do we? How many people do you know have actually confessed to reaping the excess of free time that instant gratification has afforded us? How many do you know that, as a direct consequence of this, are relying less on the electronic
nanny and are opting instead to spend quality time with their c h i l d r e n ? There’s no doubt that some parents are fighting back, determined to repossess their role from the invader gadgets but the sad reality is; it was never taken from them, they gave it away, relinquishing their parental rights in favour of other priorities in life. For some, this is the necessity to work for a living and then make the most of what little social life they have left. For others, it’s their
amoral abuse of the welfare state that is funded by the hard workers in our society who often keep multiple jobs to make ends meet after a chunk is skimmed off in taxes and handed out to those whose only concern in life is how far their ‘job seeker’s allowance’ will stretch down the pub. Meanwhile, the rest of us are paying to keep a roof over their head, feed and educate their children for introduction into society. But that’s another article.
Actual announcements from London Tube drivers…
During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately towels are not provided".
”Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my exwife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause...) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care I ' m g o i n g h o m e . . . . "
"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller and separate instructions." suffering from E & B syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further informa- "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the tion as soon as I'm given any." doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors." "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit "We can't move off because some idiot has their the town and had a great time. The bad news is that f****ng hand stuck in the door" there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to our destination." get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?" "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are "Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's Please move ALL belongings away from the doors take our minds off it and pass some time together. All (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....' brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf "We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you clubs away from the door before I come down there and can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice shove them up your a**e sideways!" if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that". A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
5
RACISM'S DOUBLE STANDARD.
T
he BNP’s (British National Party) latest win in London (apparently through proportional representation) has only served to stoke the racism fire. Whether or not this small gain was a message from the British public or something that was won by default, it will have little impact on the crazy practices, such as street name changes, and the omission of baby Jesus from school nativities for fear of offending ethnic minorities. There is an unambiguous double standard applied to racism that, like zombies, is universally accepted by most white people since it appears to be born out of historical guilt and nurtured by a relentless stream of editorials about institutional racism and commercial victimisation. To me, it’s this hypocritical practice, more than anything else, that is stealthily fuelling the fires of racism much more than any public rally because it is tapping into a common British myth; we don’t
complain. “Oh, mustn’t grumble.” Perhaps, but the majority of us will allow an issue to fester instead. If a hotel room wasn’t to our satisfaction because it was unclean, we simply won’t go back. Most of us simply go home and moan about it to family, friends and work colleagues rather than addressing the root of the problem and soliciting change for the greater good. If we are all reaching for the somewhat oversimplified aim of coexisting in a multicultural society that shuns the oppression of minorities, preaches equal rights for all and banishes to history the mere idea of an Aryan race, why is it that, in the UK alone, we’re forever spawning new groups and organisations, such as the NBPA (National Black Police Association), BlackEnterprise.com and the FBHO (Federation of Black Housing Organisation), to name a few. And it doesn’t stop and start in the UK but is endemic the world over with television sta-
A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
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tions like BET (Black Entertainment Television) and a myriad of others who, in name alone, propagandise elitism, segregation; in so much as they devote themselves exclusively to their respective communities. I mean, can you imagine the uproar if somebody incorporated the WET (White Entertainment Television) or the NWPA (National White Police Association). Culturally, such ideas are inconceivable. However, ‘constructive racism’ is good and rife in many organisations so as to ensure a ‘balanced’ proportion of ethnicity. In my opinion, this practice alone stokes resentment because it’s our freedom of choice that is quite clearly being curtailed. So, what’s wrong with any culture/group representing its interests? Absolutely nothing. After all, we can’t profess to pride ourselves with our multicultural beliefs if we don’t encourage diversity. The only problem is that we appear to be suffering
from an acute case of indigenous self deprecation, it’s almost as if we’re embarrassed to be British and terrified of championing our heritage, our culture, our country. What’s happened to the Great in Great Britain? (interestingly the title of a similar article). It’s been scared off. We’re all too terrified to do or say the wrong thing; TV shows are banned, products are removed or renamed for fear of causing offence. The worse thing is that most of these somewhat hysterical knee-jerk reactions are not the brain child of any minority group but of some misguided fool. The effect is the same; we aren’t all equal after all. Some of us are so different that a whole way of life needs to be unravelled to cater for the few of us that are ‘special’ and easily offended. Yet, you need only listen to today’s hip hop to hear human beings refer to each other as “bitches” and “niggers” (and yes, I nearly wrote ‘N’ instead). But hang on a minute; I thought we were trying to eradicate such words from our modern lexicon? Well, aren’t we? Apparently not, apparently the ‘N’ word is only offensive if uttered by a ‘white’ person but it’s fine if spoken by a black person.
understand and even support some aspects of what the party is trying to achieve, more specifically, its commitment to safeguard our culture, our heritage so that it’s not diluted by our historic quest for a multicultural society. I do not support its radical approach to certain issues since these are not compatible with who we are as a people. Furthermore, it’s my opinion that the BNP’s sometimes fanatical stance has turned it into the pariah in an already culturally paranoid society, to the point where membership alone means you are a racist. It will take a major image makeover and policy review to make the party attractive to the few practicing patriots whose support will be crucial to its ability to make a difference since, as a people, we often encourage change but don’t embrace fundamentalism. I hope they recognise this and act accordingly since they could be the only thing that stands between further erosion of our national identity and the ultimate demise of what it means to be British.
I’m not a BNP member although, to some, parts of this article will probably read like I am, but I do
We want to hear from you.
If you have a story to tell, would like us to write about, have a picture to share or know somebody interesting that you would like us to consider for our features section then get in touch, mail@adifferentangle.co.uk
A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
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Over 35?
How did you survive?
F
irst, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos, took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon, processed meats, and tuna from a can but didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints, we had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and then we rode our bikes with no helmets or shoes, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking! We would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags and drank water from the garden hose, NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips and wrapped in newspapers, no pizza shops, McDonalds, or KFC. Though all shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, we somehow didn't starve to death. We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner shop to buy Curly Wurlys, Cola Cubes and Bazooka Gum. We ate white bread, real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning to go out and play, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on, and nobody was able to reach us but we were O.K. We’d spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and riding them down hill only to discover that we’d forgotten the brakes! We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We didn’t have Playstations, X-boxes and nine hundred and ninety nine television channels nor did we have mobile phones, laptops or Internet chat rooms, WE HAD FRIENDS, and we went outside to find them.
tising us through rejection. Our teachers used to belt us with the back of their hand, big sticks, rulers, canes or leather straps. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of; they actually sided with the law! And they didn't invent stupid names for their kids like Kiora, Blade, Ridge, and Vanilla. These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU made it happen and, most importantly, you s u r v i v e d !
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no compensation claims or lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears. We swallowed chewing gum & it didn't wrap round our hearts like we were told it would. We were given pellet guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Rugby and Cricket had trials and not everyone made it into the team, those who didn't get in had to learn to deal with disappointment since getting into the team was based merit and not on some phoney social fear of trauma-
You may want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. While you’re at it, show it to your kids so they’ll know how brave their parents were.
A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
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Most junk email and chain letters are only fit for the recycle bin. But on the rare occasion you’ll find a gem that’ll make you stop and think. This was one of them. Credit: unknown.
Great Paxton Village Store
More than Just a convenience store… Come and visit the home of ‘home baking’. With original ‘Mamma Anna’ recipes; Bread, Pizza, Calzone, Panzerotti (delicious ham and mozzarella pockets) as well as freshly made sandwiches, sausage rolls and pasties. We also have a mouth watering selection of home baked cakes, featuring old school favourites such as cornflake and fudge tart! All available for parties and corporate events. Newspapers Tobacco Off Licence Mobile Phone Top-ups Dry Cleaning Postal Services
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In Short… amusing stories and pictures. Only in America… A female employee of Eastman Kodak is suing the company under the Americans With Disabilities Act. The woman claims she suffers from ‘seasonal affective disorder’, a form of depression, and wants Kodak to provide more light where she works - in a photographic darkroom. "That little sex kitten has been driving me wild. She's moaning and begging for it every minute. Last night I was afraid someone would hear, and we'd be thrown out of the building. But don't worry - all is arranged. Wednesday she gets the knife". Suspecting that a crime was in the making, this employee’s boss, who had intercepted this email, alerted the authorities. The man was arrested on the spot and spent an uncomfortable night discussing the situation with the police. However, was released in the morning, just in time to get his female cat to the vet for spaying. The man was quoted as saying, “Here’s another example of how a small pussy can get you into trouble.” He’s considering legal action for invasion of privacy.
More funnies on P5
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.' 'A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" he was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved." SCHOOL EXAMS: Name the four seasons: Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar .What is artificial respiration commonly known as? The Kiss of Death . "A major disease associated with smoking is premature death." "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader" "Momentum; what you give a person when they are going away." "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."
Sound Bites... “Sometimes I need what transition between Man- frescos of the Sistine only you can provide: chester and death would Chapel. In breaking the news to this co-worker, he your a b s e n c e . ” be unnoticeable.” said, "How can you not “If you were my husband, “You have delighted us know what the Sixteenth Chapel is?" Asked to repeat I’d put poison in your tea. long enough!” what he had just said, he Madam, If I were your husband, I’d drink it!” “I believe in luck, how deliberately pronounced else can you explain the each syllable slowly so that “The trouble with her is success of those you don't all could really learn; "It's the Six-teenth Chapel." that she lacks the power of like?” conversation but not the power of speech.” Have you ever come across The same is of a team somebody who used words leader who tried to impress “I didn't attend the funeral, without knowing what they a group of senior managers but I sent a nice letter say- actually meant? by joining them in a coning I approved of it.” versation about team buildFor example: A supervisor ing events, “Oh no, I could“I’d like to live in Man- laughs at a co-worker who n't go abseiling, I’d feel sea chester, England. The was not familiar with the sick!” A Different Angle Magazine - June 2008
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Family Fortunes Answers: Q. Name a bird with a long neck. - Naomi Campbell Q. Name a dangerous race The Arabs Q. Name something associated with the police. - Pigs Q. Name something slippery - A conman. Q. Name a part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee Q. Name something you open other than a door Your bowels. Q. Name a sign of the zodiac - April Q. Name something you do in the bathroom - Decorate. Q. Name a famous royal Mail.
10 ‘interesting’ facts. 1.
By partially filling saucers with vinegar and distributing these around a room, you can eliminate odours.
2.
On average, a movie makes about 5 times more from its DVD sales than ticket takings!
3.
By the age of 60, most people have lost 50% of their taste buds.
4.
Seaweed is used to thicken ice cream.
5.
During the filming of 'Apocalypse Now', director Francis Ford Coppola threatened suicide several times and lost 100 pounds.
6.
A rat can fall from a five story building without injury.
7.
You can't create a folder called 'con' in Microsoft Windows.
8.
The first patented condom was meant to be reused!
9.
Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a football!
10. 1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions include a stripper!
Summer word search Use the clues to find the words in the grid. Words run from left to right, top to bottom, horizontally, vertically and diagonally. When you’re done, find the words that spell a secret message. Email it to us! I
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1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28.
Eat Outside The wheels go round Bumps on the skin Smash Plays with your hair Type of cloud Head first Invite them round On the beach, in the field Another word for misty Invaders They fly Cut down to size Green and hang in crowds Male bathing suit Flowers and grass Suck and lick Glare Nap Keep things green Toe tickler Popular this time of year Watery and delicious Fluid drain Popular food Snap and store Like squirt Not dry
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