BODY LANGUAGE HOW TO READ ON A FIRST DATE

When making a first impression, your nonverbal cues speak volumes.

By Linda Clemons

Your first date went great! You came home believing this could be the romance of a lifetime! So, why are you being ghosted now? What went wrong? “Your date may have said words that suggested interest, but you may have missed the nonverbal cues communicating exactly the opposite,” speculates noted body language expert Linda Clemons.

“Did you know that 93 percent of your overall communication is nonverbal? If you know how to read the cues, you can tell a lot about how a person feels, what kind of mood they’re in, and if they are being genuine.”

While Clemons has trained with ATF, CIA, and FBI behavioral experts, she stresses that understanding body language is not about becoming a human lie detector. “It’s becoming attuned to the subtle signals from those around you and paying more attention to how your nonverbals affect others. We can use this information to make our interactions more successful and meaningful.”

Watch for these body language cues during your first date. Not sure how your date is going? Clemons says these nonverbal cues say a lot about someone’s interest:

• “I’m attracted to you” Your date is giving their full, undivided attention. They’re not checking their phone or checking out someone across the room. They’re nodding as you speak. They laugh at your jokes (you are funny, right?). They appear open and relaxed.

• “I can’t wait for this date to be over” Your date is slouching, avoiding eye contact, and crossing their arms. They’re constantly checking their phone and barely acknowledging what you have to say.

Making a great first impression: non-verbal dating tips for wome. While everyone is unique, some body language cues to signal interest are pretty much universal for women. They include:

1: Make eye contact. “It’s been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. Maintaining eye contact creates a bond between you and the other person. The eyes enable you to see the beauty, integrity, and honesty of another individual.”

2: Flash your smile. “Your face is extremely expressive; it conveys countless emotions without saying a word. We have 43 facial muscles. We use 37 of them to make at least 27 different expressions. One of these is the smile, which is synonymous with happiness and is one of the most exceptional interpersonal skills you can master, especially when it’s genuine. It communicates friendliness and can help diffuse tense situations.”

3: Listen with your head titled. “Nodding, lifting, and tilting our noggin’ can send different messages. For women, especially, listening with your head tilted is known to be a more feminine gesture. While it signals that you’re showing attentiveness, it also leaves the neck ex- posed and vulnerable. This type of nonverbal cue signals non-confrontational behavior.”

4: Breath from your belly. “The way you breathe affects your facial expression, posture, movements, and tonality. Breathing deeply from your belly is calming. It allows you to relax and pause, which then helps heighten your ability to listen and be aware of your emotional expressions. And as you relax, the person can get into cadence with your breathing pattern. This is a form of mirroring, where they subconsciously switch their body posture to match yours. This signals that you’re both connected and engaged, and it’s incredibly helpful when you’re trying to make a romantic impression.”

5: Subtle touch. “We do not like to touch people who we do not like. Our touch can create a loving bond. There are various types, depending on the situation. These include handshakes, touching the person’s arm or wrist, hugs, a pat on the shoulder, and even kissing. A touch signals safety and trust releases oxytocin, and decreases stress. Do it with permission, of course. You don’t want to chase your interest away with an unwanted gesture.”

Non-verbal dating tips for guys who want to make a positive first impression. These body language cues can help guys be more charismatic and communicate interest.

1: Give an eyebrow flash. “The eyebrow flash is a small yet powerful gesture that often signals sexual attraction. It signals goodwill. It says, ‘I am friendly. I welcome you in.’”

2: Stroking hair. “Hair is not just a flirtatious signal for women. It’s for men, too. So imagine this: You take your hand and stroke your hair. The other person follows this movement with their eyes as it draws attention to your head. This then makes it easier for your eyes to meet. Cute, right?”

3: Adjusting clothes. “You might have heard how clothes affect a person’s perception. As a way to boost their attractiveness, men will often preen (or make themselves sleek, according to Merriam-Webster) themselves by adjusting their clothes. So if you’re looking to use subtle preening gestures, here are some examples to note: Unbutton the top of your shirt and adjust your shirt sleeves. As the saying goes, “Clothes maketh the man.’”

4: Crotch display. “Talking about things that “maketh the man”…ahem. Okay, it’s not as crass as it sounds. It’s when a man’s feet are pointing toward the other person, legs apart, and with their crotch ‘on display.’ It’s also more prominent when a man is sitting with his legs wide open. This power stance is a subconscious way a man shows that he’s present and interested.”

5: Look and lean in. “Humans are wired to put distance between themselves and anything unpleasant or dangerous. Leaning in, on the other hand, indicates interest and curiosity. So leaning in will indicate that you like them, trust them, or are interested in them.”

Finally, as you sit face-to-face with your date, pay attention to how fast and how loudly you speak. “Don’t barrel ahead or speak in a whisper,” advises Clemons. “Your tone will let someone know if you welcome getting to know them.”

Linda Clemons from Indianapolis, Indiana, is the CEO of Sisterpreneur® Inc, which educates and empowers female entrepreneurs. She is an award-winning, recordsetting sales producer. Being a body language expert trained and certified in Analytic Interviewing and Statement Analysis™ (a process used to detect deception) has made Linda one of the top global sales trainers, assisting her clients in generating over two billion in sales.

Learn more about body language from Clemons by visiting her website, https://lindaclemons.com/