Solicited Advice

Pocket, my flatmates all have COVID and I fear that I’m next. What are your favourite movies to get me through my potential isolation period?

Prevention is better than distraction, my friend. Keep your distance, wash your hands, smear blood on their bedroom doors as some kind of warning, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. In terms of movies, I just love classic films, like The Aristocats (1970), That Darn Cat! (1965), and Bill Murray’s Garfield (2004). I’ve always been an old soul in all my past lives. If you’re stuck inside, you might want to opt for fun, light-hearted comedies. My favourites are Marley & Me (2008), Old Yeller (1957), I Am Legend (2007), and any other film where the dog dies at the end. Never fails to get a laugh out of me!

Sincerely, Pocket

Aquarius Pisces Aries

You’re a big dreamer, Aquarius. Maybe it’s time to realise your movie star ambitions. Whether it’s making a hot TikTok busting moves or auditioning for NZ’s Got Talent, now is your chance to shine. Lesser talent has made the bright lights. Give it a shot, and all that jazz.

19 -

20

Being a water baby, we know you love to swim. Lakes, seas, baths, you name it. But this week, watch out as you may encounter a certain dorsal finned monster. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

Look, we know you’re probably right and you really love to fight. But really, make love not war, Aries. There’s far too much fire in the atmosphere this week. Don’t create a Backdraft with all your hot headedness, leave that to the pyrotechnic experts.

Taurus Gemini Cancer

Calm down, Taurus. Stop digging your heels in and being such a bull. Make like the Aristocats and be a kitten instead. If you need tips on how to be adorable, come see Pocket at the student union building. She’s great at playing innocent.

You can be so duplicitous, Gemini, you sus little trickster. Seriously you deserve an Oscar for how you pulled the wool over people’s eyes this week.

Cancer, you love the sea, it’s your happy place. Now make like Moana and book a beach holiday for uni break. You deserve it. You’re Welcome.

It’s just the Circle of Life, Leo, you big old pussycat. Try not to get too caught up in all the BS and remember, Hakuna Matata means ‘no worries’.

Virgo, you are so dignified all the time. Take a step down from your pedestal this week and relax a little. Uni break is coming up –let your hair down.

Scorpio Sagittarius

Work harder at the gym this week if you want to be anything LIKE The Scorpion King, Scorpio (aka The Rock). Second thoughts... no matter how many pull ups you do, you’ll never be that, so maybe aim for a more achievable aesthetic.

Put that bow and arrow away, Sag. You’re going to get yourself in trouble walking around Newtown like that. Plus, it’s not ACTUALLY The Lord of The Rings round here.

We know you’re always weighing up your options, Libra, but seriously, do you think you’re a movie star or something? They’re good looking and smart enough. You don’t have to get married in Positano, just give them a chance.

Capricorn

Being the sensible, hardy beast that you are, Capricorn, this week is the week for you to try and live your life like a romance movie. Great love affairs are rarely practical. Why not take the plunge and ask someone you’ve been doing close-ups on in the library for a drink? They can say yes or no, what have you got to lose? Here’s looking at you, kid.