OUR STRAIGHT MATES
In Like Flynn With Matthew Myers
From Ramsay Street to the West End, Craig McLachlan is enjoying a well-deserved revival. He tells Matt Myers about his new role as Billy Flynn in Chicago, bonking Catherine Zeta-Jones and getting steamy with Jason Donovan.
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DNA: Billy Flynn is a much sought-after role. How do you feel stepping into those shoes? Craig McLachlan: If you spoke to 100 actors today who have any passion for musical theatre, and mentioned Billy Flynn, 99 per cent of the hands would go up. It’s just a classy and snappy show. There have been some classic Billy Flynns all over the world and you do have a sense of responsibility to get it right. I’m so glad that the planets finally lined up. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Wait until you see me in a tux! You’ve played Danny in Grease, Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and FrankN-Furter in The Rocky Horror Show. What was it like putting on those fishnets? [Craig breaks into the campest of voices and runs his hands over me] Enchanté! Oh, what a charming undergarwment you have here. Let me search… Oh my god, Janet! [Laughs] Getting into those fishnets came ridiculously natural to me! Gina Riley, who’s our Mama Morton in Chicago, was my Janet and she was hysterical. I know there’s been a recent production but it’s generally accepted our version was a little naughtier than the current one – how could it not be with Gina and me? You also played Fonzie in the stage adaptation of Happy Days, and met Henry Winkler. We spent a fair bit of time together in Sydney at rehearsals. He was just so giving and you can imagine the stories. You got your start on Neighbours alongside Jason Donovan, Guy Pearce and, of course, Kylie Minogue. Many think of those episodes as the golden years. Would you agree? I always refer to it as the Golden Era. I’ve spent a lot of time in the UK and those years are replayed on cable so that period of the show is never far away from contemporary British consciousness. That period is held in such high regard. Over here it’s a different life – it’s treated almost as a joke. But over there it’s remarkable and for anyone who was part of the show during that period… well, they love you! It’s mad! I remember when we were shooting out at Nunawading and I got a fax – it was pre-email – saying that Neighbours had just topped the mark for 20 million viewers – twice a day in the UK. And it wasn’t until Jason and Kylie went over to do a promotional tour and came back saying, “It’s Beatle-mania,” that we began to get a sense of it. It was insane. Do you have fond memories of Kylie? I just adore her. Who doesn’t? Neighbours was my first big contracted role and the thing that kicked it all off for me. Kylie played my kid sister and from day one she was my mate and my sister. She was the old pro and held my hand and guided me through those early months. As my confidence and naughtiness grew, the Ramsay household became known as the party household. It was pranks left, right and centre, usually initiated by yours truly. We had the best time. I remember seeing a photograph of Kylie and me goofing around on the sofa. I had the big curly mullet and Kylie had a curly do at that point, too. Apart from the fact that my tits were bigger, we actually looked like brother and sister. The other thing about Kylie I find so inspirational and motivational
is that Neighbours was so huge for her. She went from Logies to Locomotion and, typical of this country, got the whole “singing budgie” and “no talent” thing. But she knew what she wanted to do and the hits kept coming in the UK. They kept slamming her here but she went off and did the Deconstruction [record label] thing. I just love Confide In Me! And you’re also good mates with Paul Stanley from KISS? Paul’s a great mate. Back in my pop-star days with the success of Mona and Check 1-2, the record company packed me up and sent me to America. I was sitting in the offices of my publisher and she had her little black book open. She was jotting down stuff and the phone rang. I’m standing there, looking at her book and see Paul Stanley. I’m a huge KISS fan, so I grabbed a pen and scribbled his number down. I got back to my hotel, rang the number and got his answering machine. He got the message and thought it was hysterical. He said “Anyone who’s
“I remember seeing a photograph of Kylie and me from Neighbours. Apart from the fact my tits were bigger, we actually looked like brother and sister.” got the balls to make a call like that deserves at least lunch.” So we got together and jammed in my hotel room. We’ve been friends ever since. You also took part in that famous Neighbours Royal Command Performance for the Queen. Please tell! Oh no! It was bizarre! In retrospect it’s absolutely hysterical but even as a kid I remember thinking, “What the fuck?” It was the principle cast of the time and we stood in a straight line, if memory serves correctly, for the Queen Mum. The royals are up in the box and here’s the cast of Neighbours – Des, Daphne, Madge, Harold, Paul Robinson and Henry! We were all in costume, so Henry is in dungarees with mullet. We do this dreadful skit and then went into a really bad soft-shoe while singing the Neighbours theme! I remember biting the inside of my mouth, trying not to burst out laughing. And the fact that the press called us a bunch of kangaroos on stage didn’t surprise me. But it’s insulting to kangaroos because I’m sure they could soft-shoe better than we could! Speaking of queens, you must have heaps of gay mates. Don’t get me started! All my good mates are gay. Who would you turn gay for? Well, our male ensemble of Chicago for starters. Aren’t they gorgeous? You’d turn for anyone of the boys in our show. But I’d have to backtrack to the classic era of Hollywood: Gregory Peck, Cary
Grant and a young Burt Lancaster! I recently saw Rock Hudson and Jimmy Dean in Giant. Wasn’t Rock Hudson the most beautiful man? Back in those Neighbours days, there were gay rumours about Jason Donovan, Guy Pearce and even you. How did you deal with that? I remember when I flew back from Los Angeles for the Logies and heard about Jason’s pending bullshit with The Face in London. I picked up a newspaper and came across the thing about Jason and his representatives were set to sue regarding accusations of being gay. It went on to say something like rumours abound that co-star Craig McLachlan is also gay and his current relationship is a smokescreen. So I went to the Logies and won a Silver Logie. I got up and said, “Wow, this is a real thrill. I only got back into the country yesterday and read an article saying that Jason Donovan and I are gay! It’s funny you know, because I said to Jason tonight, in the shower as we were getting ready, ‘Can you believe that?’” Wow, you’re a spin-doctor! I thought it was hysterical. And the best way to deal with it was to put it out there and have a laugh. People could think what the fuck they wanted but at least they could see that it didn’t upset me one way or the other. You worked with Catherine Zeta-Jones on Catherine The Great. How was that? I played a character called Saltykov. He was like the numero-uno stud – Mr multiple orgasm that everybody wanted to ride. Catherine and I had gotten to know each other socially from the West End but here we suddenly found ourselves playing lovers. When we did our first sex scene together Catherine was kind of anxious and I was, too! But I tend to hide it better by cracking gags. And the scenes were pretty full on! She was sitting on me and riding me… all this simulated stuff. The director was saying “Great! Take your right hand and put it on her left tit, and can you grind her a bit harder. So to defuse the collective anxiety on the day, I came in with my robe on and said, “Listen, before we get underway I’d just like to dispel any rumours because I know you’re all wondering if the meat upstairs matches the meat downstairs. Unbeknown to them, I had done the old Crying Game tuck-under trick and just dropped the robe! Of course, there was nothing there and everyone burst out laughing! On Andrew Denton’s Enough Rope you got grilled about everything from that Footy Show stand-up disaster to your child in the UK. Was that a cathartic experience? I love what I do and I love to perform but even back in my Neighbours days I was always very aware of maintaining my privacy. Andrew Denton is such a great interviewer and there was so much stuff he managed to get out of me. I remember thinking, “Wow! You managed to get me to talk about things I never would in a public forum and you did it in a way that I actually felt okay with.” For a few weeks after that people would come up and say, “Well done. I had no idea you were such a sensitive guy.” In a twenty-something year career, no one has got me to reveal things like that. It was special. Chicago plays Lyric Theatre, Star City, Sydney, from May 14.
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