The Baltikan

Page 1

THE BALTIKAN R-LAB 2017

STOCKHOLM • RIGA • MOSTAR

www.baltikan.com

BALTIC AND BALKANS MERGE CREATING LARGEST NATURAL PARK IN EUROPE!

THE NEW NATURAL PARK CREATED BY THE MERGER OF BALTIC AND BALTIC STATES HAS A COMBINED AREA OF APPROXIMATELY 1.25 MILLION KM2 AND FORMS A CONTINUOUS TERRITORY STRETCHING FROM THE ADRIATIC SEA IN THE THE SOUTH TO THE BALTIC SEA IN THE NORTH.

EUROPEAN UNION CALLS MERGER UNFAIR!

FOLLOW BREAKING NEWS STORY IN THE NEXT EDITION OF THE BALTIKAN. UPCOMING: JOSEPH BEUYS’ 7000 OAK TREES CITED IN THE CREATION OF THE NEW BALTIC-BALKAN PARK. AND NATIONALISTS CRY FOWL! GET SPELLING WRONG, BACKTRACK AND AGREE TO PROTECT ALL NATURAL PARKS WHEREVER THEY ARE EVEN AFTER BREXIT. In what proved to be an incredibly embarrassing setback, the coalition of anti-European European nationalists released a statement without realising the automatic word check changed a key word from foul to fowl, thus exposing their weak position on protecting local natural environments, jeopardizing the very heritage sites they would need to celebrate were they to succeed in winning back their national independence. `’without these natural heritage sites there would be no nation’ claimed one disgruntled citizen, who then went on to pledge her allegiance to a pan European effort to save the all natural environments across the continent.

WESTS DEFEAT EASTS IN THRILLER SPORT P7 | NICK DINES ON POINT INTERVIEW P2 | BALTIC MUSIC REVOLUTION LIFESTYLE P8


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.
The Baltikan by matthew ashton - Issuu