Denver Review (test)

REVi EW denver

TheRNC in Denver?

YeahRight! ! ! page28

Hi, I'm joan and I just became a partner at the sterling Cooper ad agency. I'm planning some Big changes around here.

REALLY

Who's She talking to?

Who cares, look at that ass!

I like change. do you mind changing out of that dress‌ right now?

keep squawking you degenerates, things are about to change around here.

Can you please

Change out my

secretary, I've already done her seven times!

Little do they know, I dumped all their booze, I smashed all their cigarettes, and put chastity belts on all the secretaries!

later...

Without liquor, smokes, or sex, this place is turning into a madhouse. and it's only been 2 hours!

Later that week...

Damn that joan! how is a man supposed to function at the office without cigs, booze, or broads?

I've just masterbated with an empty Johnnie Walker bottle.

Red label or Blue?

JOAN!!!!

deprived of their usual vices, the men of Sterling Cooper sank into a great depression.

They began the descent into sheer madness!

days were now spent blabbering to themselves , drooling, napping.

The madness in the office became so intense it caused a disturbance in the local space time continuum!

Where's my johnny walker bottle Goddamnit!!

OMG! Roger and Don just disappeared through a time portal!

holy shit!

I think we just beamed into the future!

Heh, Heh. My plan is almost complete.

There's only one thing to do now...

ladies of the future, We greet you!

to be continued...

SUMMER MOVIES (YOU’LL PROBABLY SKIP)

July 4 - The GOP Horror Picture Show

Appropriately being released on the Fourth of July, this is a remake of that cult 1970’s classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The movie revisits many of the original dance numbers including the iconic “Time Warp”. Watch as your favorite GOP pundit “Warps” back in time to sing the virtues of the Fifties - THE 1850’S!!!

I don’t get it!

July 14 - The Great Goresby

Former VP and environmental champion Al Gore sells Current TV, his activist cable tv channel, to OIL RICH Arab station Al Jazeera - go figure! With his newly found mega wealth, Gore forgets about the environment and just parties everyday like it’s the roaring twenties - based on a true story.

7 July 20 - The Fast and the Furious 7

Starring Reece Witherspoon. Watch the boozey exploits of the nefarious Hollywood starlet as she and her husband booze it up at the local taverns, drive way too FAST, get pulled over, then proceed to FURIOUSLY berate the cops for not knowing that she’s an nefarious Hollywood starlet.

a!

h Youbetc

August 2 - Footloose - Gangnam Style

An uptight hick town is invaded by pelvis thumping asian dancers. Conflict arrises when the redneck preacher tries to kick them out of town - not for corrupting the town’s youth, but for introducing them to an outdated internet dance craze that has long gone stale.

August 14 - The Twilight Saga - Newly Mooned

Snooki, J-Wow and the other lovable greaseballs from the “Jersey Shore” are back in this next installment of the popular Twilight series. **Spoiler Alert** The “Shorers” singlehandily exterminate the entire Cullen vampire clan after infecting them with an incurable strain of Chlamydia.

August 22 - Jackass 5 - Fun With Fat OJ

Replacing that lovable fat guy Preston Lacy, recently obese OJ Simpson joins that raucous band of Jackass pranksters. Filmed almost entirely in the Nevada State Penetentary - hilarity ensues when OJ gets kicked in the balls by a “Goat”, sodomized by a hot sauce lubricated cucumber, and has a bucket of human excriment poured over his head - all while waiting in the jailhouse chow line.

The top Republican brass are diligently planning for the next republican national convention (the RNC).

Good news Boner! The Koch brothers gave us the OK to hold the next convention in Dallas or denver.

It should be no contest.

Dallas is a red state with "open carry" gun laws.

Denver is full of weed smoking hippies!

Denver does have its advantages. The gop would look rather "hip" and "With it" holding our convention in the pot capital of the world.

Ah, quit your waffling you blubbering fool and take a vote!

The koch brothers don't like to be kept waiting.

‌and i looked on craigslist. denver has cheaper hookers!

Eric cantor, LOL!

We want weed!!!

‌ and cheap hookers?

Meanwhile…

Carl rove orders three top gop leaders to visit denver.

omg! the air is too clean here, i can't breathe!

I'll try to locate some fracking wells on yelp. we can go over and breathe the fumes.

Fracking?

boing!

their job? to scout the city as the next possible site for the rnc.

"boing" means he's getting an erection.

comedy ensues!

He said f•R•a•c•k•i•n•g you horny old coot!

Hey, you guys need a lift?

boing!

Welcome to Denver!

I'm democratic governor john hickenlooper. you can call me "the hick".

as long as you don't make us smoke that colorado "wacky weed". lol!

pinko bastard!

I would be honored to show you around our fair city!

denver would be a great fit for the RNC. we have a vibrant downtown, thousands of hotel rooms…

We've got beautiful mountains, awesome restaurants...

yeah, sure pal, the famous "mile high" city you betcha...

restaurants? for all them "mmmunchies"?

just take us to a damn pot shop already!!!

M•u•n•c•h•i•e•s Get it? don't forget the cheap hookers!

(sigh) you know, denver has much more to offer than just legal cannabis and affordable hookers...

get lost commie!!

omg!!! a pot shop on every corner!

I'll see you kids later.

Uncle Mitchie is going to go browse craigslist.

Grrrowwwl!

at A dispensary... welcome to "cannalicious" I'll be your bud-tender today.

look at all the delicious marijuana! omg, that bong looks like an elephant penis!

Stupid potheads!

I'm hungry, i'll just take one of those brownies. is it gluten free? yes sir!

a few hours later...

Wow, that was some good doob.

I haven't been this tingly since billy baxter felt me up on prom night!

I feel funny. i don't think that brownie was gluten free.

hey mr. rove!

Denver is

my frontrunner!

look at you fuck-ups! god help the gop!