My other zines
https://tinyurl.com/ ycg7atzn
https://tinyurl.com/ ybfvk6dj
tweet me @walkie57, or email me at mattwalker57@hotmail.co.uk. (which also works for PayPal)
Plants, pets, and portions: a student’s guide to hobbies that make you seem much more grown up
Plants for food and crafts Mint is always a safe bet, its good for flavouring, smells interesting, and was used in all sorts of weird medicinal home remedies by monks in the 1800s.
Cutesy Pinterest DIY projects. You know the kind. Projects that look really fancy and need £50 worth of stuff but very little talent, or ones can be made on just a tenner if you’re a trained professional whose been in a niche field for 20 years.
Aloe Vera is a kind of succulent from the desert, however unlike other succulents its used widely in lip balms, burn treatments, and spot creams.
Cookery. See my pervious page on ideas. Not gonna give you any recipes because you have google. Just a few Ideas for things to not starve by eating. Basic human things because I’m a human most of the time.
Tomatoes obviously everyone's go to for gardening, salad stuff is easy to grow and as long as you keep away the insects after your food, can save you a ton of cash from your bills.
Fancy photography. Get a good artsy shot and print it off, maybe tinker with it on photoshop and add a few dramatic captions, and then add it to a fancy frame or a collage, gives your shitty student flat personality.
Potatoes now this is excellent if you live somewhere without sunlight (shout out to wales). Just throw a few potatoes into the ground and wait for more to grow.
Music. No seriously, learn an instrument and everyone will melt in admiration. Bonus points if you write some vaguely emotional songs to go with it, or a million pound pop song.
Crafting and physically making stuff Tailoring. Now this is one of those that sounds really fancy and when done well impresses the hell out of everyone who sees it, especially if its proper clothing instead of kids projects.
Coding. I’m not a coder, I don’t have the patience with it, I don’t understand it. But, I am aware that people can do freaking awesome stuff with codes. My favourite being the bootleg games consoles. Artwork. Be it online or in person. You can even make big money if you get an art job or become one of those weird fetish artists that draw Mario characters boning. (art by reddit user millvia.) Upcycling. Take something garbage (old photo frames, furniture, your poor excuse for a life etc) and do it up by replacing parts until you get something twice as awesome as you started with.
Plants to make your environment look less dead Succulents are a solid starter because they are simple and require very little attention. As long as they get sunlight and a little splash of water occasionally they’ll be chill. Basic flowers because your secretly an old granny at heart or you need something to boldly thrust in someone's face as you declare your love to them! Bonsai trees. Be warned tho, these are INTENSE plants. They need a ton of care and to be trimmed all the time. But if your about that monk life give ‘em a go. Vines. Unkillable plants that want to hug everything. Just don’t get poison ivy cause you’d die horribly. Also be aware that it will encase everything.
Cookery , because eating garbage makes your body hate you Pizza. Its easy, quick to learn, and you can pass it off as artisan fancy instead of “toddler learning the basics of cookery” vibes if you get It right. Bonus points if there's a woodfire involved. Noodle/sauce dishes these are easy because its mostly stirring and fire, with the occasional bit of pouring. Yet it still looks fancy, especially served with the right side dishes or in bento boxes. Fried meat comes across really fancy when its done right. Like seriously get yourself a well fried steak and a few quick oven chips and you’re golden. Brownies. Unlike cakes, which are pretty elementary, brownies immediately make everyone in the vicinity go “oooooh that’s fancy” when its basically just baking.
Basically feeding a TV screen—fish
For reinacting finding nemo with an animal that looks pretty and probably wont be revolting to try and kill you in your sleep. Tiny evil furballs—rodents and rabbits. Like I don’t understand why people like Guinea pigs but if you want what is essentially an eggless chicken that needs less space help yourself. Don’t blame me if it eats through all the furniture. Independent yet playful— cats. Nimble, playful, and would 100% kill you if you weren't the primary source of food and 5 times their size. Available in goth ninja, oblivious housemate, and enthusiastic micro-predator. Can’t do anything but like the idea—volunteer. Both making the world a better place and not subjecting yet another creature to your tiny matchbox student apartment to enjoy a diet of leftover pot noodle as it nests on your unwashed laundry.
Pets and who should own them Tiny tank creatures—lizards/turtles. These are pretty chill to hang out with if your into that sort of thing. However they hibernate and also rarely cuddle, but they are basically dinosaurs #worthit.
Soup. Its healthy and you can force vitamins into your system to make up for 2 years of vodka, sugar, and Oreos. Plus you can fridge it for lunch later and drink it like some healing video game elixir.
Garden dwelling dorks—chickens. Free breakfast machines that are also tiny adorable dinosaurs with a bright red comb, but these creatures will destroy your garden. You have been warned.
Goujons. Picture chicken nuggets, now picture them breaded instead of battered and served on a really fancy plate that makes you look secretly classy when in reality it’s the dinner of a 5 year old. Same with pork or as a schnitzel (mega nugget.)
Life companion— dogs. Your opportunity to become either a plucky young adventurer with a canine at your heels, or a dramatic rich outcast who only trusts their hound. Its almost easy to forget these are tiny wolves. Mega high maintenance— tropical birds. These adorable little pastel puffballs are kind of awesome, however they demand a lot of attention and live as long as a person does. I don’t have that level of commitment. Also loud as fuck.
Salad. You don’t even need to cook this one. Literally throw a load of green vegetables into a bowl of mostly lettuce and mix a little. Add some seasoning if you’re really fancy and merrily laugh at it like every woman in a salad advert EVER. Human. Literally the meat off your friends. Tear it off their still living body and simply fry it up quietly. Pair it with their blood as wine like the crazed cannibal you are and praise an ancient god as you eat it.