AU G U S T 2015
The Social Series a n ex t rove r te d social ex pe rime nt
by M at t M eye r s
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To Rachel, the best extroverted, 94 year-old grandmother a boy could ask for.
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The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. -Jack Kerouac
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TA BL E OF CON TEN TS 4
14 L E S SONS L E A R N E D F ROM A N E X T ROV E RT E D PE R SPE C T I V E
Sixteen extroverts were group interviewed over various topics. This article is a compilation of the lessons learned from these unique individuals. BY M AT T M E Y E R S
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PE R SONA L STOR I E S
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T H E WOR L D T R AV E L E R
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THERE IS SOM ET H I NG BIG GE R
As part of this social experiment, each participant shared one of their own personal experiences.
When I was a junior in high school, my family decided to... BY B R O O K E M I C K E
Take a breath. In and out, in and out. It’s amazing. You are alive... BY E R I C A P R A S A D THE SOCIAL SERIES IS A PROJECT PLANNED, WRITTEN, PHOTOGRAPHED, DESIGNED, AND COMPILED BY MATT MEYERS. THIS EXTROVERTED EXPERIMENT THE SEQUEL TO ITS INTROVERTED COUNTERPART, THE QUIET SERIES.
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L A BE L S D O NOT DE F I N E US
When I was four I had to wear an eye patch for a few weeks... BY R AC H E L M OY L A N
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SO C I A L SI NC E BI RT H
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T H E F L OAT E R
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T H E GI R L W HO C U T HER HAIR
My mother knew I was a wild one at age four when... BY S O U M YA B A N N A
Ever since the group interview, I have been thinking... BY C A R O L I N E K L A S E Y
It was in the middle of third grade. One evening... BY S H A N N O N K U R I A N
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W E A R E A P RODUC T OF OU R E N V I RON M E N T In biology, there are some genetic traits that are... BY E D D I E S T E P H E N S
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T R A NSI T IONS
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H AWA I I A N F R I DAYS
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HOW NA RC OL E P SY C H A NGE D M Y L I F E
J UA N, T H E ON LY J UA N
Its’ getting close to finals week, and it’s my least favorite... BY J UA N B A R Z A L L O
OPE N YOU R SE L F, OPE N T H E WOR L D
Whenever rushing a fraternity, you go through a variety... BY C O N N O R H E R D E S
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I A M F R E E TO BE
I would say that I am an extrovert to the extent that I love talking all the time, but at the same time... BY C A R L A B A DA M I
MY LIFE IS A SE R I E S OF AW KWA R D E NC OU N T E R S
My mom always told me to not talk to strangers... BY A N N A V E T T I A N K A L
I deal with life with other people...
T H E N EW YOR K E R
In 2009, I started working at a Boy Scout summer camp... BY C H R I S R U I Z
My name is Dev Nanji, and I’m currently a rising junior... BY D E V N A N J I
BY L I Z V E S TA L
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Growing up, I [was] an only child. Because of this, I learned... BY N E L L K R I S T I E
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I LIVE LIFE W I T H A M ETA L SP OON IN MY HAND
I want to be ready for any bowls of mint chocolate chip... BY M A R I A WA L AW E N D E R
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JUAN BARZALLO
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lessons learned from an
EXTROVERTED perspective While the headline may sound like an article you might find trending on BuzzFeed, it is certainly not that. This isn’t some sappy, teenage, self-discovery novel. I won’t answer the tireless “Who am I?” or “Why am I here?” questions. Nor will I discuss the secrets of the universe. This project is purely educational and, well, slightly scientific: my sociological discovery experiment to understand the extroverted side of the personality spectrum. While in The Quiet Series1 I highlighted the lives of the introverted, this project seeks to find the spirit of the extroverted. This is a compilation of my field notes, and the results were quite astounding. Extroverts. I needed to collect a lot of them. Unsurprisingly, this feat was easy to accomplish. While the introverts in The Quiet Series took a bit of poking and prodding for those beauties to leave their shells, sixteen extroverted contestants leapt at the opportunity to offer their experiences. The group contained a variety of individuals with diverse connections to different
cultural, ethnic, educational, and socioeconomic backgrounds. The experiment: I organized four small group interviews, placing each member in a group that would maximize conversational output. Held in a room unfamiliar to the participants, I inserted the extroverts into a situation they were unfamiliar, sparked conversation with unusual questions, prompted a group activity, and recorded what happened. I was surprised, however, by the depth, beauty, and understand that arose in those discussions. This project does not define your typical extrovert, nor is it meant to place labels on them. Rather, it is meant to demonstrate the beauty and values of a sample of the extroverted side of the personality spectrum.
A previous publication of interviewed introverts. See last page for more info. 1
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1. What it Means to be an Extrovert.
How do you define an extrovert? Well…How do you catch an extrovert and pin it down? -Chris Ruiz
s it turns out, no one really knows what an extrovert is. While it may be easy to single out the excited cheerleader on the court (Connor) or the loudest person at the party ( Juan) as an extrovert, there spectrum of personalities differs entirely person-to-person. Recently, introverts have been placed under the cultural microscope, with romanticized trends emerging about the mysterious and thoughtful home dwellers. In the light of all this beauty and self-discovery for the quieter side of society, the spectrum has lost its balance. Extroverts. You air heads. You heedless risk takers. You bad listeners. You needy people. While those words are just pages in a book or on a screen, they are actual mindsets weaving a complex web of judgmental attitudes throughout society. There are no absolutes, especially when it comes to people. There are some people like Chris, Nell, Anna, Rachel, Caroline, Juan, Connor, and Brooke who are social gladiators, wielding conversation and energy and clad in an armor of “Wanting to meet you.2” Others, like Carla, Eddie, and Liz, activate their interpersonal skills after first feeling out their surroundings. Still, some others, like Erica, Maria, Shannon, and Dev, are simply most comfortable with any kind of interaction regardless of setting or situation. No matter one’s conversational aptitude, the very definition of extroversion lies in the foundation and reception of one’s energy.
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RACHEL MOYLAN
SOUMYA BANNA
The very term “extrovert” includes the Latin term “ex” (“out of” or “from”), meaning one’s energy and emotions are expelled readily into the open, waiting to be picked up and expanded upon by another. Extroverts feed off of this outward exchange of ideas. Hopping from one topic to the next, individuals who identify as extroverts shine in crowds of people. Meeting new people opens up uncharted territory to where a conversation or a relationship can start. In the eyes of the extrovert, it can feel like the room is on fire and every joke, comment, anecdote, and laugh adds a heavy dose of kerosene and dynamite to the jovial flames. In the heat of meeting a new person, the world falls away. The only important thing is this new budding friendship that is rapidly developing in the brilliance of the moment. Everyone has years of unique experiences and memories, triumphs and heartbreaks that are just waiting to be explored. Parties are a feeding ground for peeking into the diversity of newfound friends. Extroverts are the pioneers of others, constantly seeking to create new experiences and learn more about others. “I am here. I genuinely want to learn. So lets chat.3” 5 Chris Ruiz See Juan Barzallo’s story Soumya Banna (p. 32) 4 See Chris Ruiz’s story (p. 56) 6 See Brooke Micki’s story (p. 22)
2. Why Not What’s the worst that can happen? I just can’t wait to see what I do next. -Rachel Moylan
Life is a playground if you’re willing to hop the fence. This world is about taking chances. Yes, consequences to those chances are inevitable, but why not be the loudest person in the room, why not live every day like its Hawaiian Friday4, why not say yes5, why not travel6, why wouldn’t you be passionate about everything you do7, why not study in the Netherlands, why not open yourself to the world8? When it comes down to decisions, ask yourself “why not?” Fear is a massive ball and chain holding us back. Why not go skydiving? Because I’m scared of heights. Why not tell someone I have feelings for them? Because I’m scared of what they will say. Why not befriend a stranger? Because I am scared I will get hurt. We are all scared. Always. But you have the choice to live under that fear or with it. Fear can cripple or inspire. You decide how you want to live: crippled or inspired.
See Liz Vestal’s story (p. 36) See Connor Herdes’ story (p. 34)
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“FEAR CAN
CRIPPLE OR INSPIRE.
3. Don’t Take Life so Seriously If hear music, justSeriou dance for 3.youDon’t Takedance. LifeOrso sake dancing. -Erica Ifthe you hearofmusic, dance. OrPrasad just dance for -------------------
Gone are the days when rugs were pits of lava and dark closets were home to the scariest parts of our imagination. Gone are the days when we believed in fairy tales and Santa Claus. Gone are the days when the flick of a night-light would banish the terrors of the world. Gone are the days where we would wake up every day feeling untouchable. Somewhere along growing up, we lost our sense of joy in life. Fear overtakes courage. We let social anxiety limit our freedoms, and showing any type vulnerability is out of the question. However, we weren’t born into this
“Vulnerability makes you real, it makes you a person.” -Erica Prasad
world to take life so seriously. Strong clear-cut objectives (making the grade; getting the job; selling the product; buying the mansion) govern our lives and we forget what it was like to be a kid. But vulnerability makes you real,
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it makes you a person, but we are so terrified of being vulnerable that it prevents us from experiencing others. The terrible grade you just received or the unsuspecting nail that popped your tire is just debris. They are small insignificant occurrences that don’t account for the larger picture of your life. So you got lost on your way to a new destination. So what, you went on an adventure. So you missed the time for the movie, there will be another one.
These small grievances are too easy to get caught up on, so let them go, laugh them off, shake them off. Don’t be so serious! You’re a lot prettier laughing them off than pouting.
4. Your presence is Necessary Whats the point of having cool things without people to share them with. -Eddie Stephens
Living in an era where social networking is built into basically
vehicle speeding down the road at a high sixty miles-per-hour. It seems as though physical presence is not longer the trend. While the number of our Facebook friends skyrocket, our actual face to face friendships reduce daily. We are too concerned with keeping up with current relationships, we rarely have the time, or confidence, to start new ones. Focus on people. Be fully present. Its easy to hide behind our smart phones and online personas, but in the end when those information superhighways are gone…do you know who you are?
LISTEN
5. An Extrovert’s Conversational Guide for Dummies
THE WEIRDER QUESTION THE BETTER
It’s a game of 20 Questions. -Dev
everything except your shower head, we spend a lot of time chasing the next generation of technology. New hardware and software provide a constant feed for our ever-shortening attention spans. Conversations with friends are interrupted by phone notifications. Dinner tables are silenced by sports updates. Nature hikes are disrupted by taking the perfect Instagram photo, and responding to a Snapchat takes precedence over operating a two-ton 11
Signs of a Bad Story to tell at Parties: stories that contain too much emotion to unveil to a total stranger (“Its funny you bring up ham sandwiches because that’s what I was eating when my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We were
Extroverts are often known as the conversational guru’s, the eloquent spokesmen, the connoisseurs of the spoken tongue. While that may not always be true, I asked the group about their conversational methods. Any way you do it, there is always a way to weave through a conversation and arrive at a foundation for a friendship.9 ENGAGE YOUR CURIOSITY.
Readily ask questions. Whats their story? Interests? Family? Favorite episode of Spongebob? In these questions, you will always find similarities. Explore.
dating for a year. I am so alone.”). Stories that make you sound like a narcissist (“You like to run? Wow me too! I run 25 miles a day. The other month I ran the Boston Marathon and got First place for my division despite the fact that I don’t
have any legs.”) And stories that literally no one can relate to (“One time I was in this one place, with these people and we were tasked to do this one thing but that one thing was TOTALLY underwater. It was great. You should have been there.”)
Remember their name. Delve deeper into their stories. Don’t simply focus on what you will say back but actually hear their side, see what they see, feel what they feel. OPENLY SHARE STORIES AND OPINIONS
Be the first to open up. Share personal stories and opinions. It shows trust and confidence. As humans we thirst for a good story, and we each have hundreds of them. Tangentially find a similarly and use that as a launching point for a connection (however, be ware of rambling or Bad Stories10). Odd questions make the person think, and normally people actually want to engage in some type of intellectual/creative conversation. Questions that readily catch others off guard… but in a good way. “If you could have someone that sat in your pocket who would it be?” “Whats your spirit animal?” “Whats your favorite pizza topping that isn’t at your local Papa Johns?” “If you could eradicate one thing in the world, what would it be?” “Whats your aspiration in life?” “If you could be a mode of transportation, what would you be?” “If your life were a movie, who would play you” Then ask WHY. You get to see the thought process behind the response and that will always tell more than the response itself.11 9,11
Maria Walawender
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CHRIS RUIZ
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6. Don’t Be Yoncé No one ever says, “I feel lukewarm about Carla Badami” -Carla Badami.
Somewhere in our lives someone told us that we weren’t enough. And often times that person is ourselves. Sometimes the real violence is the violence that we do to ourselves. But in response to this pain, we retreat to our battlements, stash away our hearts, and blend in with the beige. Look in the mirror. Your reflection is the first sentence to a story. And if you can’t see that story then get a better mirror. Stare a little longer because there is something inside you that never let you quit. You are more than enough. You have unique gifts, talents, tales, and tragedies that make up the person you are. Celebrate that individual. Break molds, set precedents, achieve greatness. Screw being Beyoncé. Be your own queen.
7. Your Kindergarten Teacher’s Number One Rule: Be Kind. Have a smile on your face when you pick up the phone. -Shannon Kurian
Part of the experiment included having each group of interviewees participate in a group exercise. I asked each group to work together to write down f ifteen lessons they have learned over the years. Answers ranged from “wearing good chap stick” to the classic “carpe that f ****** diem.”
This served a dual purpose: to watch the extroverts interact and work with one another, and to f ind out what codes these individuals actually live by. Interestingly enough, “be kind” appeared on all of the f ive lists. This reoccurring lesson seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore. Despite my relationship to each of the participants, I noticed their behavior towards one another. They asked about their fellow group members, respected each other’s views, allowed for interruptions, and openly shared
The universe doesn’t give a shit how we live or die, so we must care for one another. themselves. It was like everyone had watched Cinderella as a kid and they took the line “have courage and be kind” to heart. A common Buddhist truth asserts that “life is suffering.” Pain. Envy. Desire. Anger. Shame. Ruin. Despair. Every single person on this earth deals with these demons on a regular basis. Kindness is the bright reminder that there is more to this life than the hurt that we feel. While despair and the worldly evils repeatedly cast stones at our backs, compassion cushions the blows. Simple kindness can heal. The universe doesn’t give a shit how we live or die, so we must care for one another.
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EVERYONE IS WORTH MEETING
8. Quotes Will Remain Beautiful Words Unless Acted Upon. Change is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. -Eddie Stephens
During the life lesson exercise, each group searched their minds for the most inspirational and beautifully put words they could remember. Although most butchered exact wording, the main message came across: quotes inspire us. Memorable sayings from even the most insignificant people strike cords in us that move us to be better, live better, love better. However, these passages will only remain as fleeting inklings unless actualized. Pick a quote, passage, or phrase. Write it down, put it on a post it, write it on the mirror. And, do it. It’s as simple as that. It’s a wonder how often we over complicate even the simplest of things.
9. Fake it till you make it. On the days where I’m not feeling too great, I’ll throw on some heels and stomp around at a good 6”3’ and storm over everyone else. -Brooke Micki
Some slave away to put together, brick by brick, the castle walls of their confidence. Others cover their lack of confidence with masks like everyday is Mardis Gras. And still others are born just not giving a fuck. No matter your confidence level, do not waste another minute of your time measuring yourself by the opinions and standards of others. Don’t build cages out of the judgments of the masses. You were meant to break bars, not live behind them. However, on the days when your hair is lopsided, or where you accidentally farted while
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giving a speech, just remember this: fake it till you make it. No one has to know how embarrassed you feel on the inside as long as you keep it together long enough to laugh it off (or cry it off ) later. Own the good moments and the bad. Even if you just dropped your sloppy joe sandwich on your white shorts and had to walk through a crowded street, walk with your head held high. Give
“Don’t build cages out of the judgments of the masses. yourself a good hair toss, and smile at the strangers who are gawking at you because it looks like you shit your pants from your front side. Moments like those are extremely minute in the larger picture, so own them. (Then go and drown yourself in a bathtub of cheap Merlot because that was the most embarrassing thing to happen to you in your life).
10. Be prepared like a Boy Scout Use really good chapstick, it makes life better. -Caroline Klasey.
Always brush your teeth before bed;12 Put lotion on your shoes if they give you blisters;13 Use a dryer sheet to get rid of hair static;14 If you go out that night, place a water bottle next to your bed.15 While these may sound like unrelated, arbitrary tips, they often came up during the interview process. Extroverted participants actively shared their bits of wisdom with one another and showed a collective understanding
MEET THE EXTROVERTS: ERICA PRASAD
Jefferson City, MO Theology, International Studies, & Studio Art Major Ambition in life: To be happy.
NELL KRISTIE
Chicago, IL Biomedical Engineering Major Ambition in life: To bring refurbished medical equipment to third world countries.
LIZ VESTAL
Des Moines, IA Theology & Social Work Major Ambition in life: Spend time in foreign countries.
CHRIS RUIZ
Apple Valley, CA Marketing Major Ambition in life: Exploring my options.
JUAN BARZALLO
Peoria, IL & Cuenca, Ecuador Psychology & Theology Major Ambition in life: Making the gender spectrum have a larger impact in psychological research.
MARIA WALAWENDER of the importance preparedness. It is nerve racking to stare into the eye of the unknown tomorrow. Nerves can wreck us, cripple us, trap us. However, “its important that we get nerves because it’s a reminder to use everything we have.16” We must be prepared to accept change,17 prepared to be uncomfortable,18 prepared to adapt,19 and prepared to lose,20 in Shannon Kurian Caroline Klasey Anna Vettiankal 15 Carla Badami 16 Rachel Moylan
Brooke Micki Maria Walawender Eddie Stephens 20 Liz Vestal
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order to move forward. Life, friends, family, jobs…everything is constantly changing. Trying to hold onto “what was” is a slippery slope to despair. Too often, we become slaves to an illusion of control, clutching desperately to the past and missing the beautiful present. We are human, and we fall…a lot. Wouldn’t it be better to be wearing knee pads?
RACHEL MOYLAN
Urbandale, IA Communications Major Ambition in life: To live life full of happiness and smiles.
SOUMYA BANNA
San Jose, CA Public Health Major Ambition in life: Provide medical assistance abroad.
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ANNA VETTIANKAL
11. Who Died and Made You Judge? You are not a stereotype. -Anna Vettiankal
Ah the classic “Don’t judge a book by its cover” lesson. Again and again we hear these words and tell ourselves not to accept people, yet the news still screams about racism, and we are terrorized by memories of when kids were cruel on the playground. It’s easy to dehumanize those who we don’t know. Those whose story we have not tried to understand. Those who are different and alien simply because they look or act differently. Everyone is worth meeting. You wouldn’t want someone to view you from afar and choose to ignore your story, would you?
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12. Take Opportunities. You’re not lost, this is only an adventure. -Chris Ruiz
“Some of my best memories are when I did something on a whim. When studying abroad, I could have chosen to go to Madrid with my friends, but when my counselor asked
This project couldn’t have existed if someone didn’t say “yes.” about the Netherlands I said ‘yes.’ And it was the best decision I’ve ever made.”21 “Yes liberates us. It’s my
favorite word.”22 When opportunities arise, say yes; choose to Participate. This project couldn’t have existed if someone didn’t say “yes.”
13. These Are Our Moments. Hello?! I’m here, lets do this! -Anna Vettiankal
There moments in life that can’t be captured on film or reproduced. Moments that feel like a lifetime, but last only a second: the heat before a first kiss, the view from a mountain, the quiet drift of new snow, the milliseconds during a fall, your favorite song of at a concert, a smile that makes your heart flutter… In these moments, you experience all the senses at once, and
MEET THE EXTROVERTS:
BROOKE MICKE
Jefferson City, MO Biology & Plant Sciences Major Ambition in life: Study shamans and medicinal plants.
CARLA BADAMI
SHANNON KURIAN
MARIA WALAWENDER
DEV NANJI
Detroit, MI Public Health & Theology Major Ambition in life: Make change and help people be happy.
Panama City, FL Biology Major Ambition in life: To figure out who I am as a person, and how I change over time.
ANNA VETTIANKAL
EDDIE STEPHENS
CONNOR HERDES
CAROLINE KLASEY
Chicago, IL Business Management Major Ambition in life: New York City Retail.
Henderson, KY Public Health & Bio Healthcare ethics Major Ambition in life: Protect children from preventable diseases. Evansville, IN Health Management & Pre-med Major Ambition in life: Be Yoncé.
you are entirely absorbed in a trance of vivid detail: the screaming anticipation, the overwhelming spectrum of color, the soft pirouetting flakes, the adrenaline
Life’s not about remembering everything rush, the communal attunement to sound, the wrinkles below their blue eyes… Forcing yourself to remember these moments only ruin them. They exist for you to exist in them. Release yourself from your obsession with the passage of time, and see the moment. Life’s not about remembering everything. Live the moment. Experience the moment. Put down your camera or phone. Allow 21 22
Rachel Moylan Juan Barzallo
Naperville, IL Biology Major Ambition in life: Becoming a pediatrician.
Indianapolis, IN Biology Major Ambition in life: Becoming a doctor.
Kankakee, IL Marketing & French Major Ambition in life: Live simply and change the world.
yourself this. Take it all it in. This experience is yours. You don’t need to share it. How often do you go back to look at the photos taken at a concert? Does the photo of the landscape match up to the experience? These moments are gifts, do not abuse them.
14. Your Turn Screw these lessons. Make your own. -Rachel Moylan
Who am I to tell you how to live your life, I barely know what I’m doing myself. Realize this however: no one actually knows what they are doing. We are all just making it up as we go along. Pretty freeing isn’t it?
These sixteen beautiful individuals expounded on my hypothesis and took this experiment to unexpected heights, solely based on their experiences and world views. This was a social experiment and I am in no way inventing the wheel or elaborating on some biological rationale behind evolution. I am, however, recounting a universe that is created by a network of individuals, introvert and extrovert alike, making it up as we go along.
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PE R SONA L STOR I E S As humans, we are natural story tellers. We crave a good story, and more importantly, we have plenty of our own. As part of this social experiment, each participant shared one of their own personal experiences.
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THE WORLD TR AVELER Brooke Micke
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THE GIRL WHO CUT HER HAIR Shannon Kurian
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THERE IS SOMETHING BIGGER Erica Prasad
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TR ANSITIONS
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HAWAIIAN FRIDAYS
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HOW NARCOLEPSY CHANGED MY LIFE
Juan Barzallo
OPEN YOURSELF, OPEN THE WORLD
I AM FREE TO BE
THE NEW YORKER
Chris Ruiz
Dev Nanji
Liz Vestal
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Nell Kristie
JUAN, THE ONLY JUAN
Connor Herdes
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WE ARE A PRODUCT OF OUR ENVIRONMENT Eddie S tephens
LABELS DO NOT DEFINE US Rachel Moylan
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Carla Badami
MY LIFE IS A SERIES OF AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS Anna Vettiankal
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SOCIAL SINCE BIRTH Soumya Banna
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THE FLOATER Caroline Klasey
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I LIVE LIFE WITH A METAL SPOON IN MY HAND Maria Walawender
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B RO O K E
MICK E
T H E WOR L D T R AV E L E R T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y B RO O K E M I C K E
When I was a junior in high school, my family decided to host a girl from Mexico, and it was one of the best experiences in my life. After this introduction into the Rotary exchange program I decided that this was something I had to do.
M
y rotary district’s program offers for an American to live in a selected country, and that respective country would send a student to live in the U.S. At the time I though I wanted to be a doctor, so I chose Spanish speaking countries. I really wanted get another language under my belt before I was 18 – which is actually not as impressive as I thought, as I soon find out – and I found out that Peru was going to be my new home. After the selection process, we had to do hours-upon-hours of study abroad training sessions. Terribly long days of learning how to live in a different country lasted for weeks, but all that information came in handy when moving to Lima, Peru. Upon my arrival, I realized I didn’t speak that much Spanish to begin with; I generally had no idea what was going on. My first host-family consisted of a retired navy officer host-father, an OBGYN host-mother, and three host-sisters: Lorena, 16, Ariana, 9, and LuLu a happy three-year-old. On the first night, I learned that the eldest sister, whom I had been primarily talking too, lived with her grandmother because of her despise for her parents… red flag number 1? I think so.
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So I was stuck living with her parents for half a year sharing a bedroom with a nine year old. It was the worst. Furthermore, my hostmom was convinced I needed to go with her to witness the miracle of human births. Two weeks into living in Peru, I didn’t speak much Spanish and I was still a vegetarian. Game plan was to continue my no-meat life style, but as it turns out, Peruvian culture is really big into meat. Every meal was meat, and I got to the point where I had to either eat meat or starve. My first non-vegetarian meal was a strange, yet popular Peruvian chicken dish. Soon after dinner, my host mom invited me out. Sounded great, right? Maybe a little host-mom/daughter time? We end up going to her hospital. She handed me a pair of scrubs and told me to follow her into a patient room. The room was a glorified closet, and I was standing a foot away from a woman in the middle of a C-section. As they cut the girl open, I suddenly started to feel that chicken dish… when I tried to sit down, my host-mom sternly told me to keep standing. Next thing I know, I’m on a gurney in the hallway with seven Peruvian nurses speaking to me in Spanish and waving smelling salts in my face.
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B RO O K E
MICK E
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WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T EAT THE MANGOES...
My uneasiness with blood mixed [with] my first chicken in years was too much to handle. I was out for the count. My host dad had to came to the hospital to pick us up, but instead of thinking “oh, Brooke probably needs to rest at home,” he took us to this desert place where we got Picarones – fried squash dough delicacies. So now I was being treated to deep fried squash after fainting, watching a C-section, and mystery meat? My stomach didn’t agree. And that’s the story of how I threw up in a Peruvian desert bathroom. Then after experiencing the miracle of birth with that host-family for five months, I was supposed to move onto another family. However, there was a slight mix up with the family arrangements, and I almost had to live on the streets. Thankfully before I was supposed to move out, I met my new host-brother at a rotary camp. Despite having to sleep outside without a sleeping bag or a tent, I managed to make arrangements to live with another family. Now you know [where] that saying “when in Peru, sleep outside without camping equipment” comes from. My second family was amazing. I still talk to them often, and we visit one another at times. With this family, I had two host-brothers and a separated, yet wealthy host-mom and host-dad. He lived in high-rise apartment along the beach, and I lived with my host mom in one of the nicer suburbs. In this new home, I had to get used to was the fact that they have several maids. While in the US we either clean up after ourselves or live with the filth, Hispanic cultures are accustomed to having the help. It was odd to not have to do anything, despite my efforts to try and clean up after myself. The Rotary program also requires for us to attend the schooling of our appropriate grade level. Peruvian school
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was odd. The first half of the year we went to high school, and then the second half of the year we went to college. In the Peruvian high school, we had to wear these obscene and uncomfortable plaid skirts. On the first day, I told myself “let’s get a good group of girl friends and go from there”. Since there weren’t that many girls in my class, I figured this task would be easy, plus they wouldn’t hit on me-Peruvian people love white people by the way. I sit down next to these girls, and I’m speaking a little Spanglish to them, but they are not having any of it. Turns out I sat next to the bitchiest girls in the school. At one point they totally tuned me out by doing their nails! Great start. You’re killing it Brooke! Luckily, another group of girls came and rescued me and they turned out to be my good friends throughout the semester. Since I had already graduated high school, I didn’t need any credits. Technically I was supposed to go to class to make connections for Rotary, but often times my friend Holly, another exchange student from Canada, and I would cut class. We walked the track, went to the library, and frequented the churro stand instead of attending. The second half of the year, we went to Peruvian college. And by college I mean we took weird classes. My favorite was a bartending class where we learned to make drinks… at 8am… on Saturday morning. There were times we would show up to class hung over and have to see the last thing we wanted to see: more alcohol. During the summer time, all the Rotary kids traveled throughout the country as a group. The first trip went through the Andes in South Peru. Twenty thousand feet above sea level, people were passing out like crazy. I remember one time our bus broke down on top of a mountain. My friend Nate and I ventured out on our own, but during out hike
I tripped and the jolt took my breath away. At that height it really has effects on you, so I was on the verge of losing consciousness. Nate went to get help, and left me there, laying in a bush, on top of a mountain, alone, far away from the rest of our group, half passed out. Thankfully there were no lions or bears around to eat my sorry ass. Peru is pretty big, and we took buses everywhere. Sometimes, twenty-hour non-air conditioned bus rides. Peru being Peru, some parts were extremely hot and other parts were terribly cold, so we pretty much had to pack all our clothes… all the time. It was a hot mess. Literally. One specific time though, we went on this really sketchy jungle excursion. We got on these rickety old boats with the tour guides and started down the river. As
we were headed down the water, the guides tell us we can eat the mangoes from the trees. So everyone’s grabbing mangoes and then they take us throughout the jungle and go zip lining. But as we are coming back, my friend Nate starts to feel ill. As soon as we get back to our resort, he throws up outside in the bushes. But then, everyone starts feeling ill, and everyone is puking. It was like the bathroom scene in Bridesmaids where they all get food poisoning at the same time. Turns out, the mangoes were bad, and we all got sick. Two of the kids had to go to the hospital, and there was a point where I think my throw up glowed in the dark. I will forever remember the night of the rotten mangoes. Looking back it was hilarious, but at the time we were all looking at each other like “yes, we are going to die here”.
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THERE IS SOMETHING BIGGER W R I T TE N BY E R IC A PR A SA D
Take a breath. In and out, in and out. It’s amazing. You are alive. But despite the air exchanges in our lungs, what does it truly mean to be alive? We are so much more than breathing machines -- moving about our lives monotonously like programmed robots with an end goal. I have been given life, but for a while, I was not living for what I was created.
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ver the span of my lifetime, it is easy to think only of its peaks and valleys. The moments when my heart felt like it could fall out of my chest, feeling the pain of suffering, but also the moments where I was overwhelmed with the abundant joy this life has given me. The moment where the shadow of Alzheimer’s distorts your family’s reality in contrast with the joy of welcoming your first niece into the world, innocent and perfect. A favorite singer of mine, Ben Rector, wrote, “Life is not the mountaintops. It’s the walking in between.” Most of our lives are filled with walking in between, going about our day-to-day lives without stopping to realize the immense power each of those seemingly unimportant activities holds. It is what creates us, shapes us, molds us, and fills every nook and cranny of the life we are put here to live. The days where you have time to cook a great meal, catch up with old friends,
stay up all night finishing a great novel, or have a random dance party with your roommates help shape who you are. Believe me, the last one happens a lot more often than my apartment would like to admit. Yet, so often, we get bogged down by deadlines, steps, and decisions, that we forget to truly experience the days we are living. To experience: to encounter, to undergo, to endure, to know, to taste, to see, to feel, to love, to learn. I believe we are so afraid to experience our own lives that we settle for skimming the surface. I realized the summer before my eighth grade year that I did not want to live on the surface. I recognized that I wanted to truly experience my life, regardless of the good and the bad that came with it and I was not willing to give that up because I was afraid. Afraid of people not accepting me. Afraid being too passionate.
Life is not the mountaintops. It’s the walking in between. The days where you have time to cook a great meal, catch up with old friends, stay up all night finishing a great novel or have a random dance party with your roommates help shape who you are.
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fraid of committing, knowing my life would never be able to go back to the way it was. It was not easy at first, breaking down walls and boundaries, challenging myself to be who I am, to try new things, to go outside my comfort zone and to open myself up to be vulnerable with the people around me. However, as time went on, I noticed many significant changes in my life. The first was that I was drawn to people along a similar journey as my own. I was seeking to be real and genuine with others and, in return, I wanted the same from my friends. I was tired of having friends who required me to fit a mold or the latest trend. I did not want my conversations to revolve around last weekend’s party or who was dating who, when what I really wanted was to discover others. I wanted to hear their stories. To discover what made them light up with passion, what motivated them and gave them joy. All the while sharing my own. This way of creating friendships has blessed me with some of the most passionate, caring, humble and genuine people I could have wished to surround myself with. Striving to experience my life gave me beautiful friendships, and, thankfully, it has also taught me what it means to truly live well.
I believe to truly live well means to laugh until you can’t feel your side anymore, and to cry unashamed when the world hurts you. It means to experience new cultures, and to educate yourself about things that matter. It helps us recognize the problems in this world, allowing them to sink in even if it breaks our hearts. It also allows those moments of clarity to guide us to use our lives to help seek answers with others. It means loving the people surrounding you, even when they seem hateful and ugly. Living well means bowing your head in prayer as you stand in admiration of this beautiful place we inhabit, recognizing that this world is more than we could ever create, and striving to be humble enough to accept it. This life we all are living is a journey, and while I may not always live well, I am seeking, hoping, praying that someday I will. So let yourself live. Let yourself feel all the emotions, let yourself be open and vulnerable with others, and push yourself a little bit every time you tell yourself you can’t do it. We are called to be passionate. We each have a purpose. That is what this journey is all about. So walk, and live, the in between.
I was tired of having friends who required me to fit a mold or the latest trend. I did not want my conversations to revolve around last weekend’s party or who was dating who, when what I really wanted was to discover others. I wanted to hear their stories.
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L A BELS DO NOT DEF INE US W R I T T E N B Y R AC H E L MOY L A N
When I was four I had to wear an eye patch for a few weeks. I’m not going to go into detail, but let’s just say that it involved a candy wrapper, my older sister, and an argument. The result, I wore an eye patch over my right eye for two weeks. Yeah, sure, those weeks probably sucked, but I survived. I survived and grew up into who I am today, an extrovert.
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do believe I am an extrovert. I believe this not only because I know the secret handshake but also because I am ok with calling myself an extrovert. I know myself well enough that I tend to act according to the definition of somebody who is sociable and self-confident. Plot twist: I am also an introvert. I love calming, relaxing time by myself or remaining in the wings of a conversation. We are not solely defined by one label. An extrovert is solely a part of my personality that happens to shines through more than others. It is one description that, combined with many more, makes-up who I am. I am funny. I am shy. I am sarcastic. I am witty, rebellious, caring, strong, intelligent and many more. These characteristics together create the one and only Rachel Ann Moylan. What makes each person different is how much or how little we put into displaying each characteristic.
less about what you are wearing as long as you think they look good. Why waste your precious time and energy? You are the only one you have to be happy with, so be happy with you.
Just like when I was four, some people are partially blinded. Not by a mint candy wrapper, but by basing their actions on others. Part of what I associate to being an extrovert is not caring what people think. It is too taxing and way too time consuming. But it took me a long time to come to this realization. I reached it by once looking around a room. Everyone is worried about what other people think about them. People are self-centered. They couldn’t care
Since the age of four, I would like to believe I have grown-up a bit. I have come into who I am and I have figured out a bit about my personality. Being an extrovert is how I choose to go about life, it’s how I see the world. I view my world in unknowns that are only waiting to be discovered. Why not see all that the world has to offer? What is the worst that can happen, you have to wear an eye path for two weeks? Don’t worry, I already got that covered.
Reflecting back onto my life and the lessons I have learned through it, past issues don’t really seem that major. Assignments were late, tests failed, friends lost and opportunities went by, but at some point those major life issues became smaller life issues until completely fading into memory. New assignments were handed in, tests aced, friendships bloomed, and opportunities seized. Shit happens, and you deal with it. I know who I am and I put faith in myself. I know myself well enough to know what I can and cannot do. I know my strengths and I play to them. Sure, I have my own lackings and shortfalls, but why dwell on them? I am who I am and damn proud of it.
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J UA N
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J UA N, T H E ON LY
J UA N
A R E C OR DI NG OF J UA N BA R Z A L L O’ S STA N D U P C OM E DY ROU T I N E ON APRIL 30, 2015
I’m clearly not paying attention. Which is pretty cool because it makes me a lot feel more important than I am.
Its’ getting close to finals week, and it’s my least favorite thing in the world. Not because tests are happening and such, but I feel like the walk to class gets longer every time I walk it. In the beginning of the year it took about seven minutes to walk from my room to any class at all. Any class, and I’d be there three minutes before start. I’d be sitting all by myself in the first row. The teacher already knows me by name on the first day.
The second thing that happens is that I get to know people on my walk. When you know your walk so well that you know the people on your walk even if you have never met them. The awkward part is when you actually meet them in real life. For example, you will be in line at Chipotle and you look at them, and you know that you kind of know them but they don’t know you. And it’s like this internal battle with yourself. Should you say “hi?” Instead, you result to staring at their back and admiring their shirt because it’s actually a pretty nice shirt. But you don’t say anything because that’s just awkward.
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ut recently there has been a change. I get to class five minutes late every day and I get out of bed thirty minutes before class. Every morning I mosey out of bed. Walk out onto campus. Get coffee. Walk some more. Talk a nap because I’m already tired. Get another cup of coffee to wake up from that. Grab some food at Fusz and talk to some people on the hammocks. Ask them the price of their hammock. Go on Amazon to buy a hammock. Finally get to class, and I’m five minutes late. It’s really surprising because its five minutes. Every time. It happens so much that my professor starts to comment on my arrival. “Oh, Juan, you’re here?” “Why, yes I am.” But the two things that happen on my walks are actually pretty good. One, I have ended up being able to text the entire time walking to class. Not looking at all, but everyone just moves around me totally acknowledging
One of the worst things that can possibly happen is when they actually know your name. Which happens to me way too much. They will come up to me and be like “Juan, how are you doing?” And I just think, “Well, I was great until I am now forgetting your name…” And that’s when you just start guessing. Usually it’s a white person so I’m like “Michael…? Jack… son…?” If it’s a girl: “Emily, Sarah, Rachel…” But then you start throwing out guesses based on what they look like. The guy has salmon shorts on, a backwards hat: you’re a Chad. Nope. Chet? No. A Thad? Nah. You’re definitely a…Thet? Or he’s got a flannel on and rimmed glasses. Fitzgerald? Maybe a Noah? Another time, she’s got a bandanna and flowers in her hair so you guess: Summer? You should be a summer. My favorite one is the easiest one. You go up to a black person and you look them right in the eye and say, “Hi, I’m sorry, I forgot your name because I’m not racist.”
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C O NN O R
HE RD ES
O P E N YO U R S E L F, OPE N T H E WOR L D T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y C O N N O R H E R D E S
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henever rushing a fraternity, you go through a variety of different steps during Rush Week. One of these events for Beta is a camping retreat. One of the activities is called “The Candle Pass”. Basically, we all sit around the campfire, and whoever has the candle can share whatever they want with the chapter. As a pledge this fall, I did what I like to call the “Coming-Out Piece” during The Candle Pass. I had planned quite a performance. It was a whole musical, choreography, backup dancers, costumes, lights – the works. Unfortunately, it was a little too much of a serious occasion, so I decided against the theatrics. Instead, when I had the candle, I told a group of thirty guys my life and my coming out story, and it was a really positive experience, especially considering the social stigmas against homosexuality in fraternities. After I gave my big long speech, or, “performed my musical”, I got a lot of positive responses back from all the guys in the group. They all felt more comfortable with me because I felt more comfortable with them, and that was something I had not experienced before. Since that night, I feel like it’s so much better to
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be as open as I can with people, and oftentimes people will be open with me in return. It’s a kind of bravery, to share with the world your whole self, and hope that maybe someone will return the favor. And the people that do, well, those are the people I want to be friends with. It was one of the biggest steps that I have taken since coming to college. Fraternity life is important to me because of all the strides I made in my past. I’ve never actually had a brother – only four sisters. So actually coming to school and gaining forty new brothers was something I had never experienced before. These male figures and friendships [are] huge for me, and I cherish it every day. However, I don’t think that [it] is specific to [ just] me. There are always reasons that guys join fraternities (or girls join sororities), and it’s not always just about the parties. It’s about building a family that you can run to at any given point. Being away from home, you have to fend for yourself. And although I might not know everyone in the fraternity on a deep level, I know that we will always have one another’s backs.
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I AM FREE TO BE T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y L I Z V E S TA L
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deal with life with other people. Not exactly roping other people into my problems, per say, but bouncing ideas off of another person to see another point of view. I enjoy connecting with people and talking about abstract concepts and real concepts, exploring my own truths and discovering someone else’s. There are a lot of negative messages at play in today’s society, and it’s so easy to get bogged down by technology and societal issues. So I asked myself, “What can we do to lift people up?” In talking about this with my friends, Annie Cameron and Renee Richter, we discussed a lot of feminist themes and values that we felt strongly about. From here, the idea for Free To Be was born: a campus-wide feminist movement focused on gender equality.
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YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED BY HOW MANY MOUNTAINS ONE WOMAN CAN MOVE.
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wanted to create a space where people could come together and address hard topics like gender inequality and societal pressures in small circles. Those small circles could ultimately become something larger for the betterment of the SLU community. Furthermore, I didn’t want those conversations to sit there and run flat; I wanted them to actually make a difference. After finalizing our goals, Anne, Renee, and I began talking with SLU administration to plan an entire week in March solely devoted to gender equality. With a little bit of funding and a whole lot of sweat, we planned speakers, workshops, dialogues, coffee & conversation sessions, activist speeches, movie screenings, an awareness 5k, a spoken word performance, and a dance party. Each event throughout the week was free for all students, faculty, and staff to start talking about the equality issues that have for so long been swept under the rug. With the creation of a strong and diversely qualified public relations committee, we created posters, images, social media pages, t-shirts, club presentations, and established a large network
of ambassadors that would help promote our cause. We wanted people to be free to be who they are, and catered our events with that in mind. Either with speakers, coffee & conversation, or presentations, we wanted to provide an area that would spark those conversations amongst the people. Word of our mission and events reached quickly spread throughout the entire campus. The events were packed, and both men and women were very excited about the topics at hand… and free t-shirts – shout out to our supporters. Starting from the beginning, we didn’t really know what would become of this idea and didn’t expect the results that we had. Creating an entire movement that touched so many lives helped me realize that my story matters just as much as someone else’s. By talking to someone you can explore the commonalities and discover the differences, and that alone can change your perspective on life. Free to Be has shown me a lot about myself and how connecting with people over things that matter can really make a positive difference in the world. This is where I find the most joy.
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THE N E W YOR K E R A N I N T E RV I E W W I T H C A R L A B A DA M I
How would you describe your extroversion? I would say that I am an extrovert to the extent that I love talking all the time, but at the same time I really enjoy listening and really getting to know someone. I think it’s really great to both share my experiences as well as learn from others’ experiences. I think a lot of extroverts are sometimes perceived as rude because people believe we don’t know how to listen, but for me I make sure I take the time to listen to people and build off of their experiences. What they give me I try to relate back to my own life. When meeting new people, how do you connect with others? Where do you find common ground? Where do you start? So I have noticed differences between the sexes. With girls, I traditionally strike up conversations about fashion
and make up because I am really interested in both of those topics (honestly, I sometimes watch YouTube makeup tutorials for hours for fun because it’s so interesting). Oftentimes I’ll just go up and compliment a girl with good fashion, and strike up a conversation from there. For guys, I often bring up music and movie tastes. Back at school I have a radio station every Friday, so I am well versed in obscure and random music tastes. That’s sometimes how I see a person, is through their music/movie taste and their openness to other stuff. However, sometimes I can sound like a pretentious asshole when it comes to music. If we have the same taste, though, we can talk for hours. Plus, if a guy has a good taste in music that’s definitely a good thing. Traveling, however, seems to be a common ground between women and men. I notice a lot of time, since a lot of my friends are going abroad
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I LOVE BEING THERE FOR PEOPLE...BUT I ALSO KNOW WHERE ALL THE PARTIES ARE. or coming back, that I ask what their ‘craziest night’ was. That typically gets people pretty excited to talk and think back to their weirdest memory. When I start getting to know people more I start asking about their past. I am very different than I was in high school, so I think it’s interesting to see how people have changed over the years. Extroverts are often known to have a versatile range of friends. Describe your range of friendships. Do you have one solid group? Do you float between groups? Or are you a lone shark? When I was little, I was an only child for the longest time, and as I grew from pre-school to grade school I started talking more and more. It came to a point where every time a teacher sent home our report cards they would note “should raise her hand before speaking” or “could talk less” or “sometimes distracting”. Up until eighth grade, I spent a lot of time speaking up and goofing off. My high school blew. It was not the best. I only had a few solid friends at
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that time but that didn’t stop me from talking to people in school. I wasn’t like the weird kid in the back of class, but when it came down to hanging out with people I had about three friends on rotation. An example as to why my high school sucked was one time I remember hearing about a party. My friend had mentioned it to me, and I was pumped to go to my first high school party. But as it turns out, I found out I wasn’t invited because I wasn’t loyal to that particular “group”. There was a rift there because I was not super clique-y. I don’t want to not talk to people because they aren’t part of a certain crowd, I enjoy a mix. Now in college, I have multiple friend groups, which is weird for me. I am still getting use to it, but I would say I have my main group of friends with a few groups that I can go to at any time. Are those friend groups reflective of your interests? It’s funny because my friends are similar to me but also drastically different. I think that is so cool because we all have the same values and such, but at the same time we are all doing different stuff. All with different interests and passions. And then I get
to ask about those differences. I like being with people that are passionate about different things, and that are happy with what they are doing. That variety just keeps everything interesting. If everyone was the same it would get pretty boring, you know? In your friend groups, what is your role? I feel weird saying I have one definitive role because it sounds like I am an outsider. But if I had to pick something, I would say a lot of times I am the leader. Everyone often looks to me when we don’t know what to do. I feel like I often am the one making the decisions. Usually leaders are the ones that get into the most drama and heist, but I think I do a good job at mediating tension in groups. In times of conflict, I remain pretty neutral and help both sides of an issue. I am there to listen and guide, but I don’t take a side because that has its share of consequences. Along those lines, for most of my friends I play as the listening role. I feel like a lot of people come to me to help them through stuff, and I love doing that. I love being there for people and helping them open up, but at the same time I know where all the parties are.
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During the group interview, you stated that one of your life ambitions was New York retail. Why are you so interested in New York? I have been interested in New York City since the get-go. When I was little I went up to my mom and asked her, “What’s the best job in the world?” She said, “Probably a lawyer.” So I asked, “What’s the biggest city in the world?” She said, “New York.” Four-year-olds have no concept of the size of the world, but despite that I went around saying I wanted to be a lawyer in New York City. People would ask me, “Oh, Carla what do you want to be when you grow up?” and I would dead-pan, “Lawyer in New York City and graduate from Harvard.” I got a lot of surprised looks for being a four year old that knew what she wants. Although that didn’t happen, I’ve always been drawn to the City for some reason. Living in Chicago, I’ve always been a city kid. I feel oddly out of place in the suburbs. I am most comfortable just hanging out downtown meeting people and such. A lot of people have this perception that New Yorkers are these terrible awful people, but they are not. From my experience, you might get yelled at for improperly crossing the street, but they are also the first people to give you directions if you are lost. Everyone has different stories and reasons why they are in the city. I feel like the majority of people are not native. They came from somewhere else. Oftentimes people came with their parents on a boat from some country and they live here now. And people want to share that. You would be surprised because normally we think everyone is more closed off. But in New York City, people just turn to you in a bar or something and after some conversation you find out a lot
about the other and then end up going to different spots throughout the city and having a blast with someone who was a stranger five hours previously. People just want to know who you are and where you came from. I feel like a lot of people who haven’t been to the city for an extended period of time don’t really understand that. Other than the people, what else pulls you to New York? I would say the possibility and opportunity. Every night you never know what you’re going to do or where you will go. There are always little things here and there that blow my mind every time. The first time I was in New York, I found this random Tibetan store, and you go through the back door and all of a sudden you’re in this secret mall that you wouldn’t believe exists from the street. There are just so many secret things that exude excitement. That energy is really what draws me to New York, and I can’t tear myself away from it. While all the elite places that I’ve been to are all brilliant and cool, I also really enjoy just walking down the street to find a Rueben sandwich, [which] is equally as exciting. What is your favorite memory thus far of New York? You know, I don’t really know. I think just going to New York and experiencing everything are my favorite memories. Being a part of the city not just a visitor. I can say, one time, I was in a cab coming from the airport and going to my friend’s apartment on Wall Street. I was listening to ‘Midnight City’ by M83 and we just drove through a tunnel and the city skyline opened up right when the refrain started. It felt like the city was welcoming me back. It felt like I was finally home.
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SOCIAL SI NC E BI RT H W R I T T E N B Y S OU M YA B A N N A
My mother knew I was a wild one at age four when I single-handedly told off a cohort of grandmother’s at my brother’s baby-shower. Our house resembled a stereotypical high-school cafeteria, with different age groups settled in various parts of the house. The mothers were settled around the kitchen, preparing dinner for everyone. The fathers were outside, discussing probably technology and Indian politics. The grandmothers were settled in the living room, avidly sharing gossip about the Indian community. And of course, the children were running around.
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veryday at 5 PM, I would catch the latest episode of Dragon Tales. That day was no different in my mind; I had already told my friends we would watch it. I walked into the living room with my posse of kindergarteners and found the grandmothers chatting away in front of the television. Without hesitation, I made an announcement to all the grandmas: “Hello grandmas, it is our time to watch Dragon Tales, please be quiet! Thanks!” Surprised at my audacity, the grandmothers glanced at each other and chuckled to themselves. The little kids took over the room as we rejoiced over children playing with dragons in a magical land far away. By the end of the evening, word got back to my mother of my little stunt. She pulled me aside and gave me a spiel about how to talk to elders, as best as she could explain it to a four-year-old of course. She was lecturing me to help me learn a lesson about respect, but my father always says she was secretly beaming that her daughter had no reservations about speaking her mind, something she struggled with as a child. It is ironic because my name, Soumya, actually means, “calm, serene and obedient.” My mom realized very quickly that I was the
exact opposite of my name. I absolutely loved to talk. Since I learned to say “mama” at 6 months, I’ve been babbling about one thing or another. My parents recall my atypical first day of pre-school where I ran into the classroom and never looked back. Most parents stood outside the room consoling their crying children and bribing them with cookies. A few hours later, my mother came to pick me up only to find me in the middle of a circle of kidlings, telling tales about how I won a cotton-candy eating contest at home. I loved being around people. My mom’s favorite story to tell was when I brought home “few” friends in the third grade. My parents had gone to work and my eightyear-old brain thought it was acceptable to have people over without asking permission. My mom happened to come back early that day to find five children glued to the TV screen watching Arthur. The house reeked of burnt popcorn, a failed attempt to cook on our part. She quickly called all the parents and ended the play-date. I wouldn’t say too much has changed now. Twenty years old, I am (mostly) carefree, adventurous and easygoing. I love sparking conversation with random people and venturing to new places. I am exited to see what the rest of my life has in store for me.
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C A RO L INE
K L A S E Y
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T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y C A RO L I N E K L A S E Y
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ver since the group interview, I have [been] thinking about how I am very much a floater. I feel like this is a common occurrence for most extroverts, but I feel like I am a super floater. This was really prevalent on my birthday this year because I don’t typically have that “home base” that a lot of my other friends have. So, I ended up not having plans on my birthday since everyone else was just doing their own thing. But I don’t really have a problem with it. I ended up meeting up with one group and going out and having a good time. I guess I’ve always been like this. Every since I was a little kid, I had my dance friends and my softball friends and school friends. Although I was from a small town and the groups mixed most of the time, it always made parties slightly awkward. Now, I have about five friend groups that I go between, but it’s just interesting to see how many different facets I have and how many different people I get along with. And also how those different people don’t often get along with one another. It’s funny because I have gotten very close to a few tight groups of friends. While they regularly want to hang out with one another every day and every night, I, on the other hand, enjoy a little more variance. I took a strength finder quiz recently and found out that – and I am super excited about this, everyone should do it – my number one strength is “WOO”: winning others other. I revel in the challenge of going out and networking to make new friends, meet
new people. In meeting new people I go into those situations with every thought in my head screaming, “You’re going to like me! We will connect on something, I promise.” That sounds oddly manipulative, but I just want to be friends. There are definite perks to being a floater, but sometimes it can get a little weird when something really hard happens. I am very much an external processor so generally I will move to whoever wants to listen. It’s not that I have no one, but I have everyone. A network. A social web. And because of this, a lot of different people know about different parts of my life. Right now, I’m spread between about five groups: my sorority, my high school clique, freshman year group, APO bothers, Res Life members, and classmates. Each of these groups then holds a different part of me. In new situations, it’s really easy to adapt to the people around me and I always strive to see the good in people, even if I don’t necessarily get along with them. I enjoy having the people who want to go out and party, but also having the people who want to stay in, craft, and watch Netflix. I enjoy exploring the variety of life. Taking a lot of risks. Life would be really boring if I didn’t try anything new. I’d rather ask a guy out, instead of thinking, “What if?” The worst thing that can happen is that they say “no”. And if that’s the case, then so what. I’ll ask someone else. I generally have an understanding that I all will be fine in the end, so why not have a little fun on the way there?
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S H A NN O N
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KU RI A N
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THE GIRL W HO CUT HER H A IR W R I T TE N BY SH A N NON KU R I A N
It was in the middle of third grade. One evening, I got out of the bathroom after my shower and walked to the mirror. Looking at my reflection, I needed side bangs. I thought about how a couple of other girls in my class had side bangs. “What would they look like on me?” I wondered. Maybe I could ask my mom for a haircut sometime. I was about to head downstairs when I stopped, turned around, and looked back in the mirror. “But what if my mom doesn’t let me get them?” I thought. I opened the drawer in my parents’ bathroom and found a pair of scissors. “How hard could it be to cut some bangs on myself?” I swiftly grabbed the scissors and cut a chunk of hair off from each side of my face. “Shannon! Are you not done showering yet? Hurry up and come downstairs!” I heard my mom’s voice from downstairs. I looked down to see a hand full a hair. I leaned down to throw it in the trash. But then I realized, that I would get in trouble if my mom saw it in the trash. Panicked, I ran. I scanned my room, trying to figure out where I could hide my hair, but I did not have a trashcan in my room. Not knowing what else to do, I threw my discarded locks behind my dresser, clipped my hair back so that my new “bangs” weren’t visible, and went downstairs.
Right when my mom saw me, she asked why my hair looked different. I quickly responded, saying that it was probably because it was still wet. I sat down on the couch feeling extremely guilty. I had just lied straight to my mom’s face. How was I going to get away with this? What if she found out? After watching TV for some time, my mom said it was time for bed. I went upstairs, still feeling extremely guilt-ridden about what I had done. I couldn’t do it. I went to my mom, in tears. “What’s wrong?” my mom asked, very confused at why I was suddenly upset. I unclipped my hair and showed her what I had done to it. She stared at me in awe. After a slight pause, she hesitantly asked, “Where is the hair you cut off?” I walked her to my bedroom, and grabbed the wad of hair from behind the dresser. My mom didn’t chastise me for my actions, but informed me that next time I wanted a new look we would have someone else do it. The next day, I got a new haircut to fix the mess I had made.
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E D DIE
S T E P HE N S
WE ARE A P RODUC T OF OU R E N V I RON M E N T W R I T T E N BY E DDI E ST EPH E NS
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I AM A COMBINATION OF AN INTRINSIC NATURE AND EXTRINSIC ENVIRONMENT.
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n biology, there are some genetic traits that are influenced by both intrinsic factors – the DNA one inherits from one’s parents – and extrinsic factors – environment, climate, etc. I like to think of my personality as one of these traits: a combination of my intrinsic nature and my extrinsic environment. The first variable, genetics, suggests that I’m just a naturally outgoing guy. The second variable, environment, on the other hand, suggests my extroversion is at least partially something learned. Having grown up next door to my cousins and a few miles away from my grandparents, I’m used to traveling in packs. Making a reservation for a party of 16 is normal to me – and something I do quite often. The many years of being a part of a crowd made me comfortable around people. Social skills were always something my family emphasized growing up, so I learned how to communicate effectively in large numbers of people as well as with individuals
from an early age. I learned how to let myself be heard as well as how to listen and do my part to help things run smoothly. As I got older, that comfort with people turned into a love of people. College provided me with a good environment to test these two different variables; it was the first time I really understood just how extroverted I am, or, rather, how extroverted people perceive me to be. Living away from my family allowed me to see how much my environment really influenced my personality. Come to find out, whether I’m around my large extended family or not, I’m still the outgoing guy I’ve always been. Of course I adapt to fit the crowd I’m with, but it’s safe to say I’m always happiest when I’m with others – whether they’re related to me or not. Though the evidence isn’t totally conclusive, I’m happy with my social personality and am grateful for all of the factors in my life that have made me the person I am today.
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NE L L
K RIS T IE
T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y NEL L K R ISIE
Growing up, I [was] an only child. Because of this, I learned how to connect with adults more than I knew how to talk with kids my age.
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hen I would go to school, I was the kid that made friends with the teachers and administrators – mostly because I didn’t want to talk about… like… buggers. We were all weird as [kids], let’s be honest. It’s not like I didn’t want to be friends with all the sugar-crazed kids my age, I just didn’t know how to talk to them. I remember going to birthday parties, and immediately [sitting] at the adult’s table and [asking], “So how was everyone’s weekend?” Which was returned with multiple sideeyes from the surprised parents. High school was finally the transition where I no longer relied on adults for kinship. Going into freshman year, my mother’s words “high school friends are some of the longest friends you will have”
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rung in my head, so I told myself, “Nell, you’re going to go make friends now.” My high school was very much controlled by the “popular” – whatever that’s supposed to mean – and was straight out of a clichéd TV show high school. For example, the homecoming queen was dating the football quarterback. Pretty gross. Since the “hip” cheerleader and football pools were filled, I had the free range to be whoever [I] wanted to be. Coming into college it was really nice to see those groups more relaxed. There weren’t any of the tight groups of “popular” vs. “unpopular”. Everyone can be friends with everyone, and this is all I have wanted from the beginning. When looking at schools, I didn’t want to be flushed out as another number, and I didn’t feel like that at St. Louis University. Coming into SLU, I had found a girl that I wanted to live with, but my mother forced me to live with other people of my major, engineering. I knew no one. Initially, I cursed my mom for her ruling, but later thanked her for the decision.
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NE L L
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K RIS T IE
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“
I LEARNED ABOUT THE REAL WORLD AND MYSELF IN A SHORTER AMOUNT OF TIME THAN ANY OTHER PART OF MY LIFE.”
A
fter getting through an initial awkward ohwow-we-all-live-together-now stage, the whole floor grew to be this massive squad of friends that did everything together – I have a feeling every freshman floor does this. We hung out together, went out together, did homework together, went to class together. We were all attached at the hip. We needed that first semester. We learned to make a home away from home. But by second semester, everyone pretty much wanted to branch out. Although it’s easy to make friends within your major, there were so many other great people at this school that I wanted to get to know. To do this, I started hanging out with different people from classes and organizations. By stepping out of my comfort zone, I started figuring out who I was amongst this sea of other people. That’s the point of college, right? Figuring out who you are. And now by the end of the year, I see all the different connections, or branches, that I have made and West Pine – the main walk on campus – doesn’t feel so strange. It feels like home. It’s so interesting to see all the different types of people and stories that I have made in the course of a year. As a freshman, I learned more about the real world and myself in a shorter amount of time than any other part of my life. I noticed that I moved from friend group to friend group each semester. I try to get to know a set of people as much as I can, and then I branch off from them, and then branch from there. It’s like a whole social tree that I find myself
climbing through and experiencing. I keep actively going out of my comfort zone to meet these new people. It’s invigorating and thrilling, yet its often overwhelming. For example, my boyfriend is in ROTC, so I see the rest of his detachment often. Although they tried recruiting me at first, a few of them have become some of my closest friends. If I were to give one piece of advice to an incoming freshman, no, rather, to humanity, it would be: leave your comfort zone at home. It’s more fun to dance in the rain than watch someone else through a windowpane of fear. I have noticed that if I get stuck in one place without much change I go stir crazy. You can see that with how I live. I redo my room entirely every two months just to see something different. Seeing things the same all the time makes me feel like I’m in a rut. Granted, these people and faces are amazing, I just need a little uncertainty to spice up life. I thrive off of change. I didn’t want to stay close to home. I need some culture shock. Drop me into a situation where I don’t know anything and I’m set. I’ll make my own path. At home, my parents were a big deal in my town, so I was always “soand-so’s daughter.” I craved anonymity. Here at school, I got that anonymity and I got to create who I am. Create someone who I want to be that wasn’t limited by my parent’s image.
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CH RIS
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RUIZ
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H AWA I I A N F R I DAY ’ S T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y C H R I S RU I Z
In 2009, I started working at a Boy Scout summer camp that was right off the beach of a San Diego city park. As a camp counselor I helped supervise three hundred 11-17 year-old boys at Camp Fiesta Island.
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ach week a new group of scouts filtered onto the island – and by island I mean a manmade peninsula. The camp was primarily outdoors and we had everything from kayaking to sailing to paddle boarding to jet skis to wakeboarding. We had it all. Since San Diego was so close, greatest view of Sea World’s nightly fireworks were right at our doorstep. I remember kayaking under the fireworks; those were some of the best nights. Either peninsula or island, or whatever you want to call it, Fridays always signaled the bittersweet end of the greatest week of the kids’ summers. For whatever reason, Fridays were entirely dubbed “Hawaiian Friday”. We wore floral shirts, distributed lays, decorated the camp, and sang Gilligan’s Island songs. At night we held a closing campfire where all the campers huddled around a giant bonfire.
Granted, there were three hundred kids and not everyone was warm. The scouts put on skits and it was an outdoor amphitheater celebration. I remember one week we all wore mustaches in honor of one of the counselors, Steve Sailor. He actually was a sailor, oddly enough, and had a great stache. For five summers it was just a good time being around so many great people and making so many kids happy. I worked there for five years and every summer for ten weeks it was Hawaiian Friday all over again! So now, I have been trained to live every Friday like it’s a Hawaiian Friday. To this day I still participate in Hawaiian Fridays because of what they were and what they meant. People at school would ask me, “What’s up with the Hawaiian shirt?” And I would reply, “It’s Hawaiian Friday, of course.”
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D E V
N A N JI
HOW NA RCOL E P SY CH A NGED M Y LIFE W R I T T E N B Y DE V N A N J I
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“
IF IT WASN’T FOR NARCOLEPSY, I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO APPRECIATE THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP TO THIS EXTENT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF AN “EXTROVERT” I WAS.
Hi! My name is Dev Nanji, and I’m currently a rising junior at Saint Louis University. Just yesterday, I turned 20 years old. Looking back on what’s been two decades of my life, I can only say that I am in disbelief. Has a quarter of my life really just passed me by? What have I accomplished? What am I doing now? In retrospect, it seems as though all of the memories of my life have merged into one everlasting dream and that I am only continuing to add to this dream as time goes on. Surreal? Yes, that’s definitely the word to describe it. Let me first take you back to my elementary school days. There I was, sitting on the picnic bench right next to the monkey bars during recess, munching on the snacks that were stashed within my Pokémonbrand lunchbox. As I looked around, I noticed all the other kids chasing each other around the playground. But at the table, I was completely by myself. Believe it or not, I was actually a very shy kid. When it came to the outside world, I limited my interaction with it as much as possible. I was a naïve, timid and mildmannered mama’s boy, and I was just fine with that. As a high school student, however, I developed a more prominent ego. It was around this time where I found myself seeing the world from a whole different perspective. I was presented with a myriad of opportunities to grow as an individual: through academic clubs, interest groups and recreational sports. By participating in these activities, I’ve come to learn to be more open-minded to others around me and socializing suddenly became less worrisome. By senior year, I developed a personality that was the polar opposite of my younger self. As a result of putting myself out there and overcoming my fears of not being able to get along with others, my confidence increased tenfold. Furthermore, I became the quintessential scholar-athlete-musician: I made the cut for every varsity sports team I tried out for. I received recognitions for my musical abilities on the state and national levels for several instruments. I aced all my high school exams, got accepted into the college I wanted, graduated as the valedictorian of my class, and made tons of friends, all because I became so confident. Here I was, the shy kid from
before, having the time of my life as a social butterfly. But little did I know how so much of this was going to change in the upcoming year. In college, I was faced with new challenges. During the summer before I started my freshman year, I began to take notice of my bad sleeping habits. At one point, I was asleep for an average of 16 hours on any given day, which was quite unusual considering that I slept for about 8 hours per day in the previous year. After seeing a doctor and getting several sleep studies done, it was confirmed that I had narcolepsy. In a nutshell, this is a condition where one experiences an AT ONE POINT, I WAS unrelenting exhaustion that can’t be resolved by more ASLEEP FOR 16 HOURS sleep. Along with several other symptoms I experience ANY GIVEN DAY. as narcoleptic, this disorder turned out to be unbelievably debilitating. In college, staying awake through class became impossible, and I found myself unable to commit myself to many activities like I did in high school. I felt like others couldn’t understand how much it affected me, and I often became the laughingstock of my peers whenever I would fall asleep on a whim (it was pretty funny though sometimes, I have to admit). Thanks to narcolepsy, my grades suffered, my self-esteem was shot, and the shame and frustration I placed on myself increased exponentially. The fears of not being able to live up to my past expectations caused me to withdraw from the outside world, and I felt like I was the lonely kid on the picnic bench once more. However, I’m glad to say that good things eventually came from this experience. I was able to connect with a great group of friends who support me through thick and thin. They make every day much more bearable, and they continue to push me past my limits. As a result, I’ve come to discover so much more about myself and about others as well. From then on, socializing with others took on a whole different meaning. If it wasn’t for narcolepsy, I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the value of friendship to this extent, no matter how much of an “extrovert” I was in the past.
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ON
A NN A
V E T T I A NK A L
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MY LIFE IS A SER IES OF AW K WA R D E N C O U N T E R S T R A N S C R I B E D S T O RY B Y A N N A V E T T I A N K A L
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y mom always told me to not talk to strangers, but I cant help that people find me extremely approachable. One time, after a concert, a very drunk girl came up to me with her broken high heeled shoe and repeatedly asked me what she should do with her shoe. Holding it up to my face, she progressively grew more and more distressed about her broken heel. Not knowing who this girl was or what to do, I told her “I’m very sorry about your shoe, however, I am not a cobbler and cannot help you. Have a nice life.” Situations like this happen to me all the time. Strangers happen to find me very approachable. One time, I was running errands and a man approached me in the electronics
isle in target. I was searching for an aux cord, and I politely smiled at the man in the isle. The kind older man started up conversation and after that and bought me the aux cord. No matter how much I protested he wanted to get that cord for me. Similarly, I was at Walmart buying groceries and this older, hippie-type woman spotted me in the freezer section. She had henna all over her hands and she seemed like a wise, old soul (almost like Meryl Streep in Ricki and the Flash). Again, we made eye contact, so I politely smiled, but instead of going on our merry ways, she looked me dead in the eye and said, “honey, you look like someone I want to anchor my soul to.” I wasn’t sure what to do with that. Was that a compliment? How would one anchor another’s soul? I awkwardly chuckled and darted for another isle.
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A NN A
V E T T I A NK A L
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A
nother time, my friend Matt and I were going to the library to do homework. On the way over, we noticed a girl stumble of a taxicab, hobble over to the closest patch of grass, and fall over. With the bleeding hearts that we have, we immediately went to her aid. As it turns out, this girl was returning from the Cardinals game and had too much to drink. She had vomited in the taxicab, and was going on and on about how she needed to call her boyfriend. I paid off the taxi, and handed her my phone to ease her. However, she then decided that it was now her phone and she ran away from Matt and I. So there I was, running after an intoxicated stranger across SLU’s campus on a Tuesday night. The best part was that I didn’t even know her name, so I was just shouting “Hey…Girl?! Come back!” Thankfully, she got a hold of her boyfriend, calmed down, and we helped her to her living quarters. The only other casualty was Matt’s Chipotle burrito, which she managed to vomit on.
One time, on family vacation in Greece, my family and I were eating at a café and this woman and I kept making eye contact. I kept looking at her because I didn’t know why she had cameraman with her. After several minutes of making awkward eye contact, she came up to me and asked if my family was American. We answered her saying we were from Kentucky, to which she excitedly exclaimed, “Oh Kentucky! You guys have fried chicken and the derby right? Do you have a horse? Do you live on a farm? Can we interview you for a local Greek television show?” And that’s how I made my debut on a Greek news channel. One time, on cruise, I met a kid who had these two older men following him around. We became pretty good friends on the boat ride, and I eventually asked him about the men. Apparently, this kid was the heir to a massive Indian furniture company and the men following him around were his bodyguards. When my family moved to Centerville, Ohio, we were new to the neighborhood and didn’t know anyone. Being the social child that I was, I wanted to meet new friends. I continuously bugged my mom about what to do and she told me to go outside and meet people. As a result, I forced my bother to sit outside with me for hours holding a poster board sign that said “Wanted: new friends” written in purple marker. And we just waited for people to come up to us. My mom always says that I am going to get kidnapped. However after talking with my kidnappers and trying to befriend them, she says they would return me with haste. She says I was born talking and haven’t stopped since.
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M A RI A
WA L AW E ND E R
I LIVE LIFE WITH A M ETA L SP OON IN MY HAND W R I T T E N B Y M A R I A WA L AW E N D E R
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live life with a metal spoon in hand. That’s because I always want to be ready. I want to be ready for any bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream that happen to come my way. I want to have a microphone
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ready for any and all lip-syncing occasions. I want to be ready to dig my way out of any sticky situations. I want to be ready for whatever life throws at me. Ready to scoop up and take in all the wonder that, at any moment, is no further than my fingertips.
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M A RI A
WA L AW E ND E R
“LIFE’S A TREAT,
SO I PLAN TO SCOOP IT UP.
Y
ou see, I think we live in a pretty incredible place, every single one of us. Each morning that we wake up and are able to call this earth home for another day is an opportunity. It is a chance to smile, laugh, improve, cry, learn, empathize, grow, understand, fail, breathe, affect, and be affected. There are so many experiences to take in and so much beauty to behold at any second. I walk with a spoon so I can be ready to scoop up as many of these moments as I can. Traveling eagerly with a spoon in hand inevitably leads to scooping up hardship, disappointment, and pain. Other times it is the sheer volume of things, good and bad, that can become paralyzing. In these moments, with a bitter taste in my mouth, I look at the spoon in my hand. This tool has brought me so many great things, but now I see my reflection staring back at me, upside down. With the world I thought I knew now turning the wrong way, even a smile can lose its meaning.
THERE ARE ALWAYS KIND HANDS TO HELP ME TURN THE SPOON AROUND In these moments, I sometimes want to leave my spoon behind. When it brings me more than I can handle, I become skeptical and think it might be better not to take in anything at all. If I cease my acceptance of new chances, I will be ignorant of the multitude of opportunities before me and therefore unable to be overwhelmed by them.
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In these moments of confusion and distortion, there always comes the realization that it is nothing more than that: a distortion. When it seems that my world is irreversibly overturned and beyond my repair, there are always kind and guiding hands to help me turn the spoon around and realize that my world is never upside down; I was merely focused on the wrong perspective. I am incredibly blessed with family and friends who have helped and continue to help me rediscover and maintain the right view. They have handed down recipes for living with cups of compassion and strength, tablespoons of laughter and curiosity, and a pinch of adventure all on a bed of belief. The ones with the most complicated steps have often been the sweetest of all. Throughout all of this, God is the ultimate chef. His carefully measured proportions of beauty, complexity, intricacy, faith, and love are all part of His recipe for this world. So if He made everything so perfectly, who am I not to take in as much as possible? That is why I carry my spoon. Though sometimes I may have to dig past the hurt, I want to find God in all of His creation. So it is as I remember that God will never bring me anything that I cannot handle that I happily continue to carry my spoon with me everywhere I go. I know that I will take in heartache and pain and that sometimes I will be astounded by how much I scoop up at once, but I also know that in those times, I am not alone. God, my family, and my friends are right there, enjoying the multitude of flavors with me. Life’s a treat, so I plan to scoop it up.
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A Note From the Author T
he Social Series was inspired by the creation and success of The Quiet Series: a collection of interviews and photographs portraying the lives of twelve introverts (The Quiet Series can be viewed and purchased on Lulu.com and Issuu. com). This project, however, is slightly different. As a self-proclaimed introvert, I wanted to explore the other side of the personality spectrum. To do this, I created this project as an experiment, and to remain impartial to the findings, I viewed each subject and aspect of the project objectively. While for the introverted project I interviewed individuals one-on-one in an environment of their choosing, I decided to spice things up a bit for the extroverted participants. I organized group interviews and generated a list of questions talking about the extroverted experience as well as a group assignment. When arranging the interviews, I placed each individual into a group that I believed would inspire the maximal conversational output. Furthermore, I wanted to place the subjects in a new environment to watch how the extroverts would react both with the environment and with one another. With the participants’ majors in mind, I held the interviews in the art studios of
Xavier Hall on Saint Louis University’s Campus, where most of them had never been. I wanted to show the beauty of each participant’s individuality, and this project is a physical representation of that beauty. For sacrificing their time and energy for this project, I am forever grateful. This book was created, photographed, written, and planned by Matt Meyers. Special thanks goes out to my copy editors: Bekah Rigby and Andrea Vernier. Without their precision with the English language, this book would be riddled with misspelled words and misplaced commas. A heartfelt thank you also goes out to Meredith Novak and Rosemary Bornstein for their insightful reviews and devout support. Other thank you goes to Bindi Patel for her camera (I’m still sorry for losing your lens cap…) and Leanna Rolla for her lighting equipment. Thank you so much to the participants. This project couldn’t not exist without your time and insight. I really enjoyed getting to know these individuals, but I am sure you were all tired of my nagging emails. Lastly, thnak you to my friends and family that always reminded me to keep trying. - M AT T M E Y E R S
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