14.04 EH BRAH Issue 2010, July 15, 2010, Volume 14, Issue 4, MauiTime

July 15, 2010 ✚ Volume 14 ✚ Issue 04 ✚ FREE

.com

PET PEEVES

PG.17

PG.7

PLANT IT FORWARD TIN CAN COMEDY & KULA KID

PG.28

THE FUR AND FEATHERS FLY IN OUR ANNUAL EH BRAH! SPECIAL ISSUE

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:“They blow themselves up by mistake and they watch far too much Internet porn...” pg.9

$?G %@5> 021 )5, $0

30 ‡ 6$7

‡ &2))(( '5,1.6

( ‡ ,&(' &2/' %/(1'(' '5,1.6 '5, '5,1.

1.6 6 ‡ 08)),16 3$675,(6 6$1':,&+(6 ‡ /81&+ 63(&,$/6

-19<E;E ?6655 ?=@1>I 1 0DUNHW 6W

2

July 15, 2010

Now Stocking: Wellness - Solid Gold Natural Balance - Nutro Dogswell - Honest Kitchen & More!

Nail Trimming Dates:

SATURDAY JULY 24TH, 3PM - 6PM SATURDAY AUG 7TH, 3PM - 6PM All grooming tools & shampoos 25% off with Nail Trim purchase

Open 7 Days

1279 S. Kihei Rd, Azeka Shopping Center

875-9805

Contents

VOLUME 14 â&#x153;&#x161; ISSUE 04

YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE NEVER SEEN MAUI... â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;TIL YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE SEEN IT FROM THE AIR!

5 NEWS & VIEWS THIS WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S QUESTION What Eh Brah! complaint, in four words or less, would be lodged against you?

Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Eh Dad, stay home Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Check your hair Data Manager: Philippa Tilley I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand you Proofreader: Dina Wilson Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Beau Ewan, Nancy Kanyuk, Doug Levin, Jared Libby, Greg Mebel, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com/howerphotography.com Damn, I smell sulfur!

Contributing Photographer: Matt Kerstein mkkmedia.com Art Director: Chris Skiles (808) 281-8975 / chris@mauitime.com Slow down, haole

Coconut Wireless ďŹ&#x201A;ows from water appeals to Lingleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Akaka Bill about-face. We catch up with the folks from Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Plant a Wish and get an update on their ambitious tree-planting odyssey. Open Letters defends a manbag.

Quizunderstood compares mac nuts to Big Macs. Civil union discussion ďŹ lls up Reader Feedback. Jesus gets struck by lightening in News of the Weird. Maui ďŹ nishes ahead of Oahu and the Big Island but behind Kauai in By the Numbers. The Queen Kaahumanu Center changes hands in Spin Cycle.

2ONE KAMAâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;AINA SPECIAL

FOR THE PRICE OF

LIMITED TIME OFFER! MAINLAND FRIENDS & FAMILY CAN GO TOO! CALL (808) 877-7005

10 FEATURE STORY Two- and four-legged creatures stir up trouble in our annual Eh Brah! special issue, illustrated as ever by the inimitable Ron Pitts.

13 FOOD & DRINK Jen Russo gets in the mix at a mai-tai competition.

*Same day booking only. Subject to availability.

Kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;aina friends & family! Only one ID required.

3 MODELS FROM

$16,665*

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com You swallowed my soul!

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Damn your poodles!

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com You talk too much Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown

17 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

18 Film Critique Barry Wurst II says Inception is too smart to be a summer blockbuster.

Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

19

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Quit Twittering my photo

20 THIS WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PICKS

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright Š 2009 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTimeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 â&#x20AC;˘ fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

2010

Anu Yagi talks Tin Can Comedy and the art of funny with Shaggy Jenkins.

2010

Film Capsules/Listings

2011

$17,915 HJA;=< >JGE ).$..-&

Mos Def on the West side, Timbaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas in July and the Maui Health Explosion.

22 23

Da Kine Calendar Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid plays dog catcher. Sign Language tells Leo to let it all hang out.

Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit 30

Pure Price includes delivery, processing, and handling fee; excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price may vary. All rights reserved. Š 2010 Scion, a marque of Toyota Motor Sales U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. Scion, the Scion logo, xB,xD and tC are trademarks of Toyota Motor Corporation.

BOOT CAMP FITNESS CLASS NEW! WEST SIDE BOOT CAMP AND EVENINGS IN KIHEI!

Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime

Evening Boot Camp

ON THE COVER:

;(7(: 6- ;/, >,,2

9PZV[[V =LULaPHUH Italian Arborio Rice Simmered in Seafood Broth with Shrimp and Calamari in their own juice.

3VUV (]LU\L 2HO\S\P

/HWW` OV\Y KHPS` MYVT WT [V WT

Kahului & Kihei Photo courtesy of bairdphotos.com

Illustration by Ron Pitts Design by Chris Skiles

Morning Boot Camp Paia & West Side JULY 26 - AUG 20; AUG.30 - SEPT.3 (extreme week)

SEPT. 13 - OCT.8; OCT.25 - NOV.19 www.adventurexfitness.com Call 808.283.5502 for more info

Become a fan on Facebook!

July 15, 2010

3

Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Buy! Sell!

Trade!

Company

WE PAY

CASH FOR YOUR AMAZING CLOTHES!

*2 Time World Champion Bonga Perkins

Lahaina 7AINE E 3T s 9am - 9pm

Kahului !LAMAHA 3T s AM PM

Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/eliseclothingco

th 28 ual Ann

Hourly Drawings for Great Prizes!

GRAND PRIZE

Your Choice of any Kazuma Surfboard!

2ND GRAND PRIZE STARBOARD SUP WITH KIALOA PADDLE

?a¤K][`Ă&#x203A;Jmj^Ă&#x203A;JhgjlkĂ&#x203A;Ă?Ă&#x203A;BY`mdmaĂ&#x203A;Ă?Ă&#x203A;Â&#x2026;Â&#x201E;Â&#x201E;Â? ~~~ 4

July 15, 2010

by Jacob Shafer

News + Views

FREE 3D GLASSES

The Week in Review

IDE! INSID

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

State Auditor Takes Shots at Sheriff Division The state Sheriff Division is “hampered by ineffective leadership” and “lacks guidance and direction” according to a report released last month by State Auditor Marion Higa, who isn’t known for pulling punches. The Sheriff Division is part of the Department of Public Safety

Lingle Backs Akaka Bill Changes. Will Native Hawaiians?

Gov. Lingle was for the Akaka Bill before she was against it—and now she’s for it again. Her latest about-face came after Senators Akaka and Inouye met with

Now that Lingle’s gotten her way, the Akaka Bill will likely receive even less support from the people it’s ostensibly trying to help.

Hawaii Attorney General Mark Bennett and agreed to amend the bill, limiting the authority of the Native Hawaiian governing entity it aims to establish and upholding the ultimate authority of state and county government. Lingle now says she can “strongly support” the bill. “I sincerely hope [it] will become law in 2010,” she added. If it does, and it’s far from a sure thing, it will mark the end of a decade-long battle. Of course, portions of the Native Hawaiian community already opposed the bill; now that Lingle’s gotten her way, it will likely receive even less support from the people it’s ostensibly trying to help. Ah, political ironies.

Na Wai Eha Case Flows On Last month, after the state Water Commission handed down its decision in the Na Wai Eha contested case, Earthjustice attorney Isaac Moriwake called it a “miscarriage of justice” and promised it “will not stand.” Whether the second statement is true remains to be seen, but this week Earthjustice appealed the ruling—which restored far less flow than environmental and Native Hawaiian advocates hoped and restored no water to the Iao and Waikapu streams—on behalf of Maui Tomorrow and Maui-based Hui o Na

Maui Gallery Sued Over Beatle Memorabilia Money can’t buy you love, but it should buy you authentic John Lennon collectibles.

That’s the contention of a Wisconsin man who says Maui-based Celebrities Fine Art—which has galleries in Wailea and Lahaina—sold him fake Lennon sketches and a microphone supposedly used by the former Beatle to record the album Imagine that was actually manufactured years later.

According to a lawsuit filed July 2 in federal court, the man, David Petersen, sent the sketches—purchased in 2007 and 2008—to a document expert who determined that the ink used in at least one sketch “was not in existence at the time when Mr. Lennon purportedly made [it].” The suit also says the microphone was made in 1977, six years after Lennon recorded Imagine. Petersen is seeking at least $131,285 in damages. Reached for comment this week, gallery owner Gerard Marti said he believed the items were genuine when he purchased them from a California dealer and that they came with certificates of authenticity. “I’ve been in business 17 years, and this is the first time I’ve had this type of problem,” said Marti. He said if the items turn out to be fake, he will refund Petersen’s money and seek damages against the California dealer (who Marti didn’t name on advice from his attorney). In the end, he said, “We’re going to find out the truth.” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404c

Art by

BRAD PARKER @ tikishark.com

BEST

MAUI

3D!

NOW

(DPS) and is tasked with “formulating and implementing state goals and objectives for law enforcement programs”; basically, they’re the overarching police body in Hawaii. More from the report: “Inadequate law enforcement training, issues pertaining to equipment, and an absence of procedures related to the staffing and service of the courts have raised questions regarding the safety of the public, the courts, and the deputy sheriffs themselves.” Lack of funding is an obvious culprit (one example cited in the report is the fact that 69 bulletproof vests still hadn’t been replaced months after their expiration date), but Higa also blames “vague constitutional language, a broad interpretation of statutory authority, and the consolidation of functions previously deemed incompatible,” including, “drug enforcement, illegal immigration, homeland security, fugitive arrests, criminal investigations, eviction proceedings, and traffic enforcement.” So how does the department respond? An indignant denial?

A promise to clean up the mess? Though he didn’t dispute any of the facts, DPS head Clayton Frank told the Honolulu StarAdvertiser that Higa’s conclusions are “an overstatement of the day-to-day reality.” I feel better—how about you?

Wai Eha. This fight started in 2004, a fact Moriwake noted in a release announcing the appeal. “If justice delayed is justice denied, a six-year wait for some leftover trickles is an insult to justice,” said Moriwake. “We will not rest until justice, and the waters of Na Wai Eha, flow.”

IN

THIS IS YOUR

LAST CHANCE TO BUY SPACE! DEADLINE: JULY 16TH PUBLISHES: JULY 22 ND CONTACT: Brad at 808-283-3260 or Tommy at 808-283-0512

THE BLOG ROLL Admit it: you love free stuff. Like stickers.

And whales.

So a free “I Love Whales” sticker is definitely something to love. But nothing in life is ever really free, right? It’ll take some...

Read more at mauifeed.com

Adios Taco Del Mar at the Maui Mall; doors are closed for good. I was heading there for...

Read more at mauidish. com

Get ready for Motown at the MACC, as two legends converge under the stars. The Temptations and the Four Tops will share a double bill on...

Read more at mauivents. com

July 15, 2010

5

TACOS

â&#x2122;¦

BURRITOS

â&#x2122;¦

QUESADILLAS

BEST MEXICAN FOOD ON MAUI

1/2 Off Any Burrito Saturday Nights from 5-8pm live music BYOB

*When you buy one of equal or greater value per coupon presented.

TACO TUESDAYS WITH LIVE MUSIC

News.

$2 TACOS

Call for take out & directions

875-2910 Located in back Corner

of Dolphin Plaza COUPON

.com

5 ITEMS FOR...

ALL SHIRTS, BLOUSES PANTS, DRESSES AND MORE! YES! THAT MEANS SILK TOO!

$

25. + TAX

661-6768 OPEN MON. - SAT.

NEXT TO TIMES MARKET IN HONOKAWAI 3350 LOWER HONOAPIILANI RD. SUITE 102

&YDMVEFT IPVTFIPME JUFNT XFEEJOH BUUJSF MFBUIFS r 4PNF SFTUSJDUJPOT BQQMZ r /PU WBMJE X PUIFS PGGFST r &YQJSFT

6

July 15, 2010

NLY MAUIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S O TION A T S Y R T COUN ( &29(5$*( / Â&#x2021; ,6/$1' :,' 6 67521* 6,*1$ < &28175< +,7

5$5

$// &217(032

$0 /,9( 0251,1* 6+2: Â&#x2021; 0 ) 21 16 %, :,7+ 3$8/ 52 $ ',9,6,21 2) + +$:$,, 0(',$

&217$&7 86 72 $'9(57,6( Â&#x2021;

by Jacob Shafer

News + Views

jacob@mauitime.com + jacobshafer on Twitter

Plant it Forward Twenty-five states. Thirty-seven days. Halfway there

Were there any difficult experiences?

Surprisingly enough, we had a difficult time in Vermont. They have a reputation for being super green, but for some reason—and I don’t think it had anything to do with the people or the state itself—luck was just not on our side.

We thought we had [ice cream makers] Ben & Jerry’s on board, to plant at their facility. But then their publicist contacted us the day before and let us know they don’t own the land and there was this whole crazy plan that had to be met to change anything. At the same time we were also having issues with the tree, finding a place that would donate. After Ben & Jerry’s fell through, we found a nonprofit farm that was interested, until a water pipe broke on their property and they had to cancel as well.

It looked like we might be stuck. We were staying with a friend at the time, someone we’d met on Maui, and that actually turned into our planting location. The place we were staying was a development on Lake Champlain that had been owned by our friend’s dad who’d recently passed away. It turns out her dad was a really smart developer and had left a lot of trees intact on the property, building the houses around them. And so all of a sudden we were like, oh my gosh, it’s right under our noses. We brought it up to our friend’s family, and they said Dad had a favorite maple tree that was diseased, but he wouldn’t let anyone cut it down. After he passed away it was cut down, but the stump was still there. So we ended up planting a new maple in the stump of the old tree. The widow even went and got some of his ashes. Out of nowhere it turned into a memorial service for this man, a chancee to pay homage to someone who’d gotten it right in his lifetime.

Of the states you visited, which one stands out the most?

The first one that comes to mind is Iowa. It was a really interesting location to be carrying a message of restoration, because it’s 97 percent plowed or paved. We had a wonderful experience in a small town called Knoxville in Marion County, where a bunch of people got involved from all walks of life. Even before we got there they were holding the “Biggest Tree of Marion County” contest, which culminated in a reception following our planting. So there was this whole crowd of strangers who were excited about us arriving, which felt really good. Not to say that didn’t happen in other places, but with Iowa being known for using as much of its land for farming as possible, it was a nice surprise to be so accepted.

How much of where and what you planted in each state was planned in advance and how much was done by the seat of your pants?

[Laughs] It was a mix of both. We had some places planned early. I’d say about the first ten locations we were pretty dialed in; we’d made our contacts before we left and set things in motion. But there were a lot of holes. I wish there had been a third party filming Joe and me because there were definitely some times where it’d be: we have the tree and we’re in the town—now where do we put it? We actually had people encouraging us to do guerilla plantings because it would be good for the movie, but it’s not good for the tree. We were adamant that we had to plant a tree in the right place and leave it with a caretaker or group of caretakers. As for what types of trees we planted, that sometimes required the help of experts. We’d talk to a local nursery and describe the area where we were planting.

We’d [also] talk to the land owner to see if they had a preference. In the end, almost every single tree was donated.

So the response was mostly positive?

What’s the status of the film?

We’re looking to [submit] it] to Sundance in December. er.

There are also a number of regional and environmental festivals we’re going for. Just trying to generate interest any way we can. I think Joe counted up about 83 hourss of footage so far, and we’re only halfway done. So we’ve got some tape to go through [laughs].

Are you going to try to finish in n one more trip?

Right now that’s the idea. After doing the traveling, the momentum you gain is really important. You don’t want to lose that. The plan is to leave around thee last frost of winter, do the remaining states, and then come back to Maui for another planting. We’d like to get some local experts and people on the island involved, some of our heroes who ho inspired us. This started here, and I think it’d be fitting to finish it here. ■ To learn more, visit plantawish.org To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404u

T A WISH

We caught up with Sara to find out what people thought of their mission, what she and Joe learned and where they go from here.

named Doug Tallamy, who’s done research into the importance of native plants. What nt we’re we re also trying he’s found, and it’s a point rhoods that have to make, is that neighborhoods ut native plants] are been landscaped [without ecological deserts. We can be totally selfish about this; it doesn’t havee to be about the cute littlee animals. We’re part of the food chain. We won’tt survive if things are too far out of balance.

TESY OF PLAN

W

It was a lot like that experience where you go into the grocery store and the automatic doors open. As long as we were doing our part and reaching out to people, most were very supportive. We said our spiel about the project hundreds of times, but it worked out. There really is an interest in something like this, which helped us gain a lot of confidence in what we’re doing. There was never a moment when we regretted our decision; it kept flowing.

PHOTOS COUR

e first told you about Sara Tekula and Joe Imhoff in April, a month before the husband-and-wife team left for the Mainland with a unique goal: to plant a native tree in all 50 states and shoot a documentary along the way. Last week, they returned from the initial leg of their Johnny Appleseed-esque odyssey—dubbed Plant a Wish—exhausted but undaunted.

Having toured half of the country, do you think people understand the importance of native trees?

One thing we kept coming across—and you can see it here on Maui too—is an area that’s been completely clear-cut, and then they put in houses and then they decide to put in trees. But what they put in usually isn’t native, it’s usually something that grows fast and looks ornamental. Which is bad for a lot of reasons. One of the experts we interviewed for the film is an entomologist

July 15, 2010

7

News + Views

Re the July 8 feature “Fail”: First off, I love your publication.

Unfortunately, we have cancelled our annual trip to Hawaii indefinitely. Our family (used) to take trips to Oahu and to Maui every year. Now with the hostile decision by your governor to veto civil unions, I just don’t see us heading back to the islands any time soon. Just so you know, we spend on average about $30,000-$50,000 on this trip for the entire family. Now those tourism dollars will no longer be headed to the islands. I hope your governor is proud of being on the wrong side of history and trashing Hawaii for her own political gain. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to get the immediate impact on the bottom line–from gay and straight people alike.

2. On what four-stringed instrument is the ukulele based, and what is its country of origin?

3. Translated to English, “Wailea” means “water of Lea.” In Hawaiian mythology, who is Lea? 4. For what 19th century sugar magnate is Spreckelsville named?

Bonus: What other state has a town that bears his name?

See answers, page 29

PSYCHIC

NATALIE YOUNG IS HERE!

RATED #3 PSYCHIC & HEALING IN THE USA If your looking for help to better your life in any way, or Healing your spirit from negative energy and getting a fresh start on Life again! Maybe you just need some insight and have some questions...

Natalie can answer any question or help you through any problem.

Touring the Island of Maui at various resorts throughout July Mention this ad & receive

25% OFF

808.359.2022 8

July 15, 2010

.com .c om m

WITH THE CIVIL UNION BILL, GOV. LINGLE HAD A CHANCE TO GO OUT ON A HIGH NOTE. INSTEAD, SHE SANK TO A NEW LOW

Michael Ra Bouchard, Hilo (via e-mail)

PG.28

PG.17

PHOTO BY FOREST & KIM STARR

1. Which has more saturated fat: a McDonald’s Big Mac or a comparable amount (about 200 grams) of plain macadamia nuts?

July J Jul Ju y8 8,, 2010 2010 0 ✚ Vol Volume ume 14 ✚ Issue Issue 03 0 ✚ FRE FREE F R EE E

Divorce ruins the fundamental values of marriage, not the gay community for wanting to enter into it.

Gov. Lingle has Steve Goebel, COCONUT WIRELESS 'WEDDING SINGER'AT THE IAO & KULA KID done a bang-up Nevada (via QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Lucky I converted to Buddhism last year and am now fully nonviolent...” job keeping the e-mail) fundamental values of marriage intact with her two It’s a sad day for Hawaii nei. Gov. Lingle divorces. That said there will always be missed her chance to stand on the right side divorce—in either camp. It’s just a fact of of history along with those who fought to life, and one day marriage between same outlaw slavery and racial discrimination. sex partners will be a fact of life too.

She also failed to exercise her legislative power responsibly by acting on behalf of Conn Brattain (via Facebook) the minority members of our society. This is not an issue for the people to decide. @MauiTime, typical liberal, every time Righting the wrongs of slavery and racial someone disagrees with you, scream hate. discrimination were not decided by ballot Jamie Miller, @jamiemiller74 (via Twitter) vote due to the deep divisiveness within the populace over the issues, similar to what’s happening today in our community.

These injustices would have continued Send your FEEDBACK for a much longer time in our history to the editor via e-mail had ending slavery and discrimination (editor@mauitime.com), or been determined by majoritarian rule. post (Editor’s Inbox, MauiTime, Civil unions provide only a second-class 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, substitute for marriage. If there’s an unseen Wailuku, HI 96793), or check benefit to this veto, perhaps it’s that the us out on Twitter (twitter. legislature’s “half-way” measure to bring com/mauitime) and Facebook equality to all of Hawaii’s citizens through (facebook.com/mauitime). civil unions was a well-intended, yet ultimately flawed plan. Sooner or later, the PG.5

QUIZunderstood

Hawaii Supreme Court, or higher Court, will rule on and strike down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage and invalidate any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation. Similar legal precedent was set forth over 50 years ago when states struck down bans against interracial marriage.

Either equality means the same rights and privileges for everyone or it just isn’t equality. Don’t be discouraged. This issue isn’t going to disappear. Take encouragement from today’s younger generations who have demonstrated they’re far less threatened and much more accepting of sexual diversity than many of their elders. It may take time, but in tomorrow’s world, justice for all will ultimately prevail.

pg.11

OVERHEARD “I missed my chance to be great.

Now I'll settle for memorable.”

- Man to his female friend outside Foodland in Kihei

by Chuck Shepherd

News + Views

By the

chuck@mauitime.com

“Why are you still alive?” is the question doctors ask Ozzy Osbourne, the hard-rock singer and reality-TV star, who says he is now clean and sober after a lifetime of almost unimaginably bad habits. In June, he started two new ventures: undergoing the three-month process of genetic mapping (to help doctors learn why, indeed) and becoming a “health advice” columnist for London’s Sunday Times. At various points in his life, the now-cholesterol-conscious, vegetarian Osbourne said he drank four bottles of cognac a day, smoked cigars like they were cigarettes, took 42 prescribed medications and many more “backstage” drugs that he could not even identify.

Osbourne also has a Parkinson’s-like genetic tremor, was once in a medically induced coma after an accident and endured antirabies shots after famously biting into a live bat on stage.

IRONY STRIKES An intense lightning storm on June 14 around Monroe, Ohio, destroyed the iconic 62-foothigh statue of Jesus (the “King of Kings” structure of the Solid Rock Church) alongside Interstate 75. While townspeople mourned, it was also noteworthy what the lightning bolts completely missed: the large billboard, on the other side of the road, advertising the nearby Hustler Hollywood pornography store.

RED, WHITE AND BLUE LIES Over the years, according to a June Chicago Sun-Times report, U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk of Illinois has freely used “swagger and braggadocio in talking about his 21 years of military service” as qualification for office. When one contrary fact after another about his record was pointed out by reporters, Kirk explained, “I simply misremembered it wrong.” He admitted that, contrary to his numerous public statements, he was not actually “in” the Iraq Desert Storm war; did not actually “command the Pentagon War Room” when he was assigned there as a Navy Reservist; and was not actually once Naval “Intelligence Officer of the Year.” He is now vying for the U.S. Senate seat once held by Barack Obama.

SORRY EXCUSES

BROTHERLY LOVE Tony Chrum was the one apprehended for allegedly buying $160 worth of cocaine from a man who turned out to be a police informant in Lincoln County, Missouri, in May, but his brother, who is Winfield, Missouri, police officer Bud Chrum, 39, was the mastermind.

According to police and unknown to the informant, Bud had needed to replace 2 grams of cocaine from the police evidence locker because he had accidentally spilled something on it, and Tony agreed to help.

DID YOU MEAN DON’T GET RUN OVER? “If Google told you to jump off a cliff, would you?” asked a Fortune magazine columnist, describing the lawsuit filed in May by Lauren Rosenberg, asking for damages of more than $100,000 against Google Maps after she was struck by a car. Rosenberg had queried the map service for a “walking route” between points in Park City, Utah, but a short stretch of the suggested route lacked sidewalks.

Rosenberg was hit while walking in the street. Though Google and other map services “warn” users against walking in the street, Rosenberg’s route was delivered on her small Blackberry phone screen.

INCOMPETENT TERRORISTS They blow themselves up by mistake (such as Pakistani terrorist Qari Zafar did in June); they botch airline shoe- and underwear-bombing and buy the wrong fertilizer for urban car bombs; they brag too much; and they watch far too much Internet pornography. Evidence amassed by Daniel Byman and Christine Fair, writing in the July/August issue of The Atlantic, has led them to suggest that America and its allies should treat jihadists as “nitwits” rather than as “savvy and sophisticated killers” (the latter being an image that helps them with recruiting). It is possible, the authors conclude, that there has not been a truly competent jihadist terrorist since Mohammad Atta led the September 11, 2001, missions.

INCOMPETENT BULLFIGHTERS Christian Hernandez, 21, making his bigtime bullfighting debut at Plaza Mexico in Mexico City in June, ran from the ring trembling in fear at the first sign of his bull. He was then coaxed to return and man-up, but once again fled and immediately submitted his resignation.

Though Hernandez was contrite (“I didn’t have the ability; I didn’t have the balls”), he was arrested for violating his contract and released only after he paid a small fine. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404n

20

Number of F-22 Raptor fighter planes that will be stationed in Hawaii; the first two were welcomed by Gov. Lingle last week during a ceremony at Hickam Air Force Base

$360 million

Approximate per-unit cost of the F-22 Raptor

2 percent

Portion by which Matson Navigation will lower its “fuel surcharge”—from 27.5 percent to 25.5 percent—for shipping to Hawaii, starting July 18

3.5 percent

Portion by which Matson raised its Hawaii fuel surcharge in February

8

Maui’s rank in Travel + Leisure magazine’s 2010 “World’s Best Islands” reader survey; Kauai ranked second and the Big Island tenth; Oahu didn’t make the list Sources: Hawaii.gov/gov, U.S. Government Accountability Office, Matson Navigation, Pacific Business News, Travel + Leisure

SPIN CYCLE Strategic Omission...

April 2009: Illinois-based General Growth Properties, which owns and operates hundreds of shopping centers across the country including ten in Hawaii and two on Maui, files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

June 2010: In a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, General Growth discloses that it may soon lose a number of shopping centers due to their status as “underperforming retail assets.”

July 2010:

General Growth transfers management of 18 shopping centers, including the Queen Kaahumanu Center in Kahului, to Illinois-based Jones Lang Lasalle. In a July 12 release, General Growth touts the move as “a long-term strategic alliance.”

Nowhere in the release is the word “bankruptcy” used.

PHOTO BY LOSBORNE

(1) British actor Nicholas Williams, 33, was acquitted of domestic assault in June even though he had, among other things, “waterboarded” his girlfriend by pulling her shirt over her head and holding her under a shower during a two-hour rampage. Williams persuaded the judge that the anti-smoking drug Champix made him unable to control himself or even to remember the events of that evening. (2) Laith Sharma, 49, admitted in June that he had stalked and fixated upon, “for marriage,” a 14-year-old girl in Windsor, Ontario, but doctors’ testimony won him a sentence of mere house arrest. Sharma, they said, suffers from the popularly known “maple syrup urine disease,” so-called because the excreted scent is a marker for brain damage

that prevents impulse control.

PHOTO BY HAWAII.GOV/GOV

HE IS IRON MAN

NUMBERS

July 15, 2010

9

ATHERS THE FUR AND FNEUAL FLY IN OUR AN IAL ISSUE EH BRAH! SPEC

S E V E E P PET Y RON PITTS

ILLUSTRATIONS B

T

his is for the tiny lady with the giant dog: I’m sure it makes you feel safe to run down the beach with that behemoth, but the rest of us have serious doubts about your ability to control him. It’s a simple matter of physics: if an animal that weighs twice as much as you do decides he wants to go tearing off, he will, and you’ll be at best a little screaming, bouncing jumble of arms and legs behind him, like those cans people tie to the backs of their cars after they get married. I have twice seen your dog lunge aggressively at people and other dogs, and have seen you helplessly trying to hold him back. Either get a big buggah boyfriend who can anchor that beast or trade it in for a smaller model.

I

f you want to teach your birds to say those words, that's your prerogative. Seems like a strange waste of time to me, but live and let live, right? Just please, don't leave them next to an open window by the yard where my son and daughter play. They're beautiful animals and my kids naturally go over to look at them. As a result, I have now had to talk to my four-year-old about two different phrases I'd hoped he wouldn't learn for at least a few more years. And certainly not from some foul-mouthed parrot! I have talked to you on two occasions and you've refused to apologize or do anything about it. Really, whatever happened to “Polly want a cracker”?

10 July 15, 2010

E

h crazy cat lady... you love cats so much, how 'bout you volunteer at a shelter instead of dumping out bags of food? Maybe you didn't hear, but those things are no different from rats— filthy, disease-ridden pests.

And now they're running all ova, crapping in my wife's flower bed, hiding under my porch, yowling and humping outside my window. You may think you're helping but all you're doing is pissing off your neighbors and adding to one of our island's biggest problems. I don't want to shoot cats in my spare time, believe me, but if you keep this up you leave me no choice.

E

h Brah! I know there are probably a lot of stray cats that go on your property and annoy you. I get that, I really do.

But will you quit being a dick and trapping my cat? The first time I had to drive my ass to the animal shelter at eight in the morning was annoying. The second time two weeks later is just ridiculous. Especially considering he has a collar with my phone number and address, and you're actually luring him over by putting food in your trap. Dude, I live across the freakin' street! Is it really necessary to call animal control and send him away again? You've even seen me playing with him in my yard! How about I put candy outside my house and when your kids come over to get it I lock them in a box and take them to child protective services? Oh wait, that would be kidnapping. Good thing in your case it's just a cat and you can keep getting away with being a spineless jackass.

S

T

his goes out to the “tropical fish expert” who sold me on a $1,500 aquarium system and five fish that died within three days because the thing was a leaky, malfunctioning mess. Yeah, I know, buyer beware, but what about pono? This stuff goes around, brah. I've seen you on Craigslist peddling more crap, trying to lure in more unsuspecting victims.

The time will come, fish man, when the whole island will know you stink!

illy me—when you told me you were going to “groom” my dog I assumed you meant wash it and trim its fur, not give it a shave job that looks like it was done by a drunk, blindfolded monkey. Your business card did say “experienced.” I guess you meant experienced at ripping people off.

Too bad I sent my girlfriend to pick up the dog, then of course you didn't return any of my dozen angry phone calls. I hear you've gone back to the Mainland.

Good riddance. Hope a rabid Rottweiler bites you on the ass.

Y

ou: big, strapping local boy. Me: middleaged haole lady. Your dog: an un-neutered pit (what else?) off his leash. My dog: a meek, submissive eight-year-old Lab mix. The scene: a popular dog park. The unprovoked attack that you called a “fight”: completely one-sided, and left my dog with multiple injuries that required two vet visits and still haven't fully healed. I don't expect dudes to give up their macho dogs. Like their trucks and tats, it's part of their identity. I understand. I have a son myself. But you are endangering others when you don't pay attention and contain your animal. It's no different than swinging around a loaded gun: when it goes off and hits someone, you have to take responsibility. Like they say, blame the deed not the breed.

I

grew up here; I'm used to things in my house. Roaches, ants, centipedes. But I have to say this was a first, when I found your ferret or weasel or whatever making a nest in my closet. You were apologetic and offered to pay for the damage and cleanup, but then less than a week later I saw it running on the street in front of your house. Looked like it was about to get hit by a car and I can't say I tried to save it. I'm pretty sure those things are illegal here anyway.

Lucky I don't report you. If I find it chewing up my sheets and electrical cords again, I will. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404f

July 15, 2010

11

BEST

MAUI

3D!

NOW IN

FREE 3D GLASSES

INSIDE!

UR

THIS IS YO

E LASRTACBHSAPNACCE! TO G

MALA BRUNCH

Saturday & Sunday 9-3pm

Art by

BRAD PARKER

CALL: Brad at 260 808-283-3 t a y or Tomm 12 5 808-283-0

@ tikishark.com

DEADLINE: JULY 16TH PUBLISHES: JULY 22 ND OR EMAIL: Brad at brad@mauitime.com Tommy at tommy@mauitime.com

CANOES Saturday & Sunday Lunch 11am - 3pm BBQ Plate Lunch Special $6.95 Burger & a Beer $7.95 Sunset Special Daily 4:30-6PM 3 course meal $25.95 Kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina 6pm - 9pm daily 25% off all dinner entreeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1450 Front Street Lahaina 661-0937

12 July 15, 2010

FREE GYOZA w/regular meal purchase

Daily Happy Hour s 2pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5pm

We cater for any size group MON â&#x20AC;&#x201C; SAT 10:00AM â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30PM SUN 10:00AM â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:00PM 7 +A@AHUMANU !VE s +AHULUI

(808) 873-9688

(UEVOS 2ANCHEROS s #HILAQUILLES (OMEMADE -USELI 9OGURT s %GGS "ENEDICT W &RESH -AHI -AHI OR (OUSEMADE ,AMB 3AUSAGE Only at Lahaina location.

KAMA'AINA ALWAYS GET 10% FOOD FOR BRUNCH, LUNCH AND DINNER

Reservations: 667-9394

1307 Front St., Lahaina s www.malaoceantavern.com

by Jen Russo

Food + Drink

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Tai One On Maui bartenders mix up an old favorite for a chance at cash and glory

Y

The Mai Tai Mix-Off bartenders.

PHOTOS BY MATT KERSTEIN/MKKMEDIA.COM

ou can’t be a bartender in Hawaii without knowing the mai tai. While some may despise the drink, others turn it into a creative outlet. I bore witness to that creativity at last week’s Mai Tai Mix Off preliminary competition at the Royal Lahaina. Ten bartenders went head to head in five seven-minute rounds, each bringing their own personal recipe. The top three competitors will get a place at the Second Annual Don the Beachcomber Mai Tai Festival, held August 14 at the Royal Kona Resort.

Burdened with the difficult job of tasting and scoring, judges Joey Gottesman (who also emceed), Eric Gilliom, Sommer Meyers and Chuck Bergson did the major lifting.

Blair Anderson from Mala Ocean Tavern in Lahaina took top honors with his Kamaaina Mai Tai. His recipe featured a familiar combination of pineapple, orange and lime flavors, but he mixed it up with flavored Bacardi Limon and Bacardi O and Select, and featured a pineapple wedge infused with Bacardi Coco and a Cocito garnish. The result was an understated but spectacular drink. Anderson says it’ll be available at Mala Ocean Tavern if you want a taste.

Ryan Burden, also of Mala, was a close runner up with his Kiona Aloha Mai Tai. His concept was to create an organic, natural mai tai, and in doing so his seven minutes on stage were a show stopper. He pressed his sugar cane juice on stage and ran off to the side to hack open a coconut with

a machete so he could harvest fresh coco water and coconut meat. The concoction that came from all his hard work was creamy and dreamy.

Also going to Kona to compete is Jeff Felice from the Westin KOR. His mai tai featured fresh mint and local ingredients, but the highlight was the pineapple spear garnish on which he designed a face out of raspberries and lime.

Julie Henson from Kahale’s Beach Club took away the People’s Choice Award. Her “Maihitotiatini” was, as the name suggests, a mash-up of a mohito, mai tai and martini.

Served in a martini glass with plenty of mint flavor, her presentation included a detailed and well-narrated story. (Ask her.)

From Kihei’s new Three’s Bar and Grill, Sossanna’s “3-tai” featured an unusual garnish of red pepper and candy ginger.

Maui’s Best

PLATE LUNCHES S

& RIBS! £ÓnxÊ À ÌÊ-Ì°Ê Makai of Lahaina Cannery Mall

661.3322

Casual vv À>`>L iÊUÊ Õ

Join us on our deck for beach side plate lunches, burgers, noodles & "ono" daily specials.

Judge Bergson’s take on it: “The first taste is fruity flavor and you get a bit of the sugar rim, then I took a bite of the ginger for a new dimension of the drink. Then you bite into the pepper for the grand finale.”

The full boat by Joel Flack from Maui Brewing Co. and Royal Lahaina was a fruit smoothie sort of mai tai. Fresh berry ice, Thai basil and muddled frozen strawberries » Continued on page 15

P Present this coupon & receive a

FREE REGULAR R

SOFT S

DRINK D

with plate lunch or w equivalent purchase. e Not to be used with any other N coupons or discounts.

Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 7-31-10

July 15, 2010 13

SPECIAL

9.95 $19.95 FRESH $3.00 $

FISH & CHIPS

lahaina cafe

FISH DINNERS

SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER

A LITTLE TASTE OF EVERYTHING

11AM - 5PM

OPEN 9am - 4AM s EVERYDAY

MAI TAIS FFROM ROM 111AM-6PM 1AM -6PM

CHINESE DIM SUM BAMBOO STEAMERS

AMERICAN BREAKFAST DENNY STYLE

INTERNATIONAL CUISINE ALL DAY VIETNAMESE, THAI, & CHINESE

SATELLITE DISH FOR WORLD CUP COVERAGE COOL AIR CONDITIONING

NOW OPEN! 667-6655 843 WAINEE ST. UNIT 1 & 2

TheEatGuide.com

'SPOU 4U t -BIBJOB .BVJ VJJ VJ t 0QFO %BJMZ BN QN BN Q BN Q QN

4(<0 )9,>05. *6 )9,>,9@ ;(:;05. 9664

SMALL PRICE :: FAST :: FRESH

THANKS! FOR MAKING US #1â&#x20AC;¦

/H^HPP»Z ILZ[ JYHM[ ILLY

/VUVHWPPSHUP /^` Q\Z[ ISVJRZ VMM -YVU[ :[YLL[ Â&#x2039; ^^^ 4H\P)YL^PUN*V JVT

)9,>7<)

4H\P»Z VUS` )YL^W\I

/VUVHWPPSHUP /^` 2HOHUH .H[L^H` *LU[LY 3HOHPUH Â&#x2039; ^^^ 4H\P)YL^PUN*V JVT 14 July 15, 2010

â&#x20AC;¦AGAIN! BEST OF MAUI WINNER FOR THE BEST BURGER FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS IN A ROW

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

808.250.1788 MAUI WEDDING MEDIAS.COM

FRESH FISH â&#x20AC;¢ STEAKS â&#x20AC;¢ SALADS â&#x20AC;¢ BABYBACK RIBS â&#x20AC;¢ CHICKEN

Serving lunch & dinner 7 days a week â&#x20AC;¢ Located on front street in Lahaina overlooking the Banyan Tree

THE WHARF CINEMA CENTER â&#x20AC;¢ 667-0908

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SPECIAL DAYâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;CAPTURE IT CORRECTLY.

by Jen Russo

Food + Drink

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Tom and Liz Bell, Chuck Bergson, Jim Falk, Sommer Meyers and friends.

PHOTOS BY MATT KERSTEIN/MKKMEDIA.COM

» Continued from page 13 all contributed, along with the rum; the drink was acidic on first sip, but after a few moments the flavors came together and smoothed out.

In between the competition rounds, DJ Dan spun summer tunes that kept the Bacardi flowing. Bacardi launched a new flavor of rum, Torched Cherry, which debuted here. In between mai tais I got a taste. Aloe is an up and coming flavor trend, and Bacardi has fused it with cherry. The rum is easy to mix and will bring a new dimension to Cherry Coke. When I first heard the name, I envisioned the aloe was “torched” or heated in some way to bring out flavor but it actually refers the torch aloe, a particular type of plant. I tried it with Sprite and cranberry; both flavors took a back seat to the cherry which came on strong, but not too sweet. It was quite good, like a spiked Shirley Temple.

As mentioned, all of this mai tai action is a precursor to the two-day Mai Tai Festival that kicks off in August at the Royal Kona Resort.

The fest also includes a BBQ competition and an appearance by Third Eye Blind, but the main event will be the Mai Tai Battle, with 30 contestants (about 15 from Hawaii) vying for a $10,000 cash prize. With that much dough on the line, it’s no surprise the judge list reads like a who’s-who: Sam Choy of Sam Choy Restaurants; William Ramos, head distiller for Bacardi; Chris Teves, Hawaii Beverage Guide; and Beachbum Berry, rum and mai tai expert.

If you can make it to the Big Island, it’ll be worth the trip. If not, seek out one of the bartenders mentioned above and give their signature spin on this classic drink a try. You might even feel like you’re tasting it for the first time. ■

Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 808-280-3386 or fax to 808-244-0446.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404d For recipes, links and more info, check out MauiTime’s food blog, mauidish.com

Winners (from left) Jeff Felice, Blair Anderson and Ryan Burden.

WE BUSTED

SHAGGY JENKINS & MARTY

DREAD CHECKING OUT MAUITIME.

WHO CAN

YOU BUST ?

Catch someone reading MauiTime and email it to us with your caption. Not only will you be the coolest “MauiTime hunter” on the island, but you’ll be automatically entered into our contest for the Busted! Awards. Most Creative, Most Hilarious and more will win all sorts of goodies and prizes. So get out there and bust someone!

Email your photos to busted@mauitime.com!

July 15, 2010 15

16 July 15, 2010

by Anu Yagi

Arts + Entertainment

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

The Tin Crowd Can Maui build a successful stand-up scene? Shaggy Jenkins aims to ďŹ nd out

C â&#x20AC;&#x153;

omedy is supposed to be outside of territories, outside of reason, outside of logic. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s supposed to be the outside-looking-in perspective,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy Jenkins. So when Augie Tulba told Shaggy that if he wanted to pursue comedy, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d â&#x20AC;&#x153;have to do it differently,â&#x20AC;? that logic fit nicely.

But Shaggy is a busy guy (just ask him), and dons more than a few hats during his day-to-day.

The cap with the biggest feather is as Program Director of Q 103.7, where heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beloved as the engaging radio personality behind 4:20 tunes and for being the kind of DJ that â&#x20AC;&#x153;gives [the community] their radio station backâ&#x20AC;? by being there to take listenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; calls and requests.

So when someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plate is so full that they Tweet thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;no time to breathe,â&#x20AC;? to concoctâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;let alone executeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a scheme to create a comedy scene on an island where such things are just beginning to bud seems a bit ambitious.

But heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s done itâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and has been doing it since Februaryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with the popular Tin Can Comedy nights, every Tuesday at Mulliganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the Blue. An open-format standup comedy competition offering cash prizes, the event started off strong and continues to build momentum as it heads into Championship series, culminating this August. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Augie had harassed me for, like, a year,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I came to Q, I opened up for him, and he was like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re alright, but the reason youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re only alright is that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing for comedy on Maui, right nowâ&#x20AC;Ś you need to have a scene.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;?

It seems appropriate, then, that a regular comedy competition would begin with some encouraging pestering from a seasoned colleague. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s [how it began]. It was Augie just harassing me. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ask me, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Are you doing any comedy yet? Are you doing any comedy yet? Are you doing any comedy yet?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Every time, I tried to get away from it,â&#x20AC;? Shaggy says.

But comedy is a true love of Shaggyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Radio, is really what I put my energies into, but I really want to do something outside of the studio,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I get bored staring at walls, no matter how nicely decorated they are.â&#x20AC;? So eventually he heeded Augieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s call to action, in that the first step in creating a scene â&#x20AC;&#x153;is to start and host an open mic.â&#x20AC;?

Yet where? Enter Mulliganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the Blue and owner Mike Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Dwyer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mike is always really good at being

supportive. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of those guys that wants you to succeed,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy, who notes he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think Mike would â&#x20AC;&#x153;go for it,â&#x20AC;? but asked anyway, saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;nothing ventured, nothing gained.â&#x20AC;?

Over the years and for many reasons, Shaggy says he and fellow comedians â&#x20AC;&#x153;had tried different venuesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but the place that is built the best for this is Mulliganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got seating in there thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very comedy club-like, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got an atmosphere in there. It looks like a place for a spoken word performance.â&#x20AC;?

Too, Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Dwyer rolls out the royal treatment. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the strongest supporter I have,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s given us all the ammunition we need to make this work.â&#x20AC;? Meaning sound, stage, drink specials and free pupus. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right, free pupus. (Last week, Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Dwyer busted out the BBQ and hosted free hamburgers and hotdogs.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know it was going to be like it is. When we started, all of a sudden, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all these peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;people Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never seen or heard from,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now I kind of know them as my regulars.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to host a stand up show, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be the center of attention. Nobody is there to see you, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there to see whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s being offered,â&#x20AC;? says Shaggy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m more of a circus announcer. The show is not me. The show is never about me. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always about who comes there, what they do, all the different types of comedy they do. I see myself as the ringleader, but not really the main attraction.â&#x20AC;?

As the show launches into its championships (round one of four began July 13)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;with the granddaddy prize being an show-opening slot for Augie T himselfâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; Shaggy says heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really looking forward to some of the up-and-coming wahine acts. He recounts a few jokes from the ladies he thinks are likely to steal the show, and is excited by their funny, original work. He also mentions his appreciation for contrast, referencing the clean-cut kanaka-boy-next-door look of King Martin, and his wicked undertone (Martin went on to win round one, scoring $50 cash and one of just for spots in the finals).

Since the beginning, Tin Can Comedy has had a few traditions. Between each of the four rounds are themed nights, like Improv, Musical and Flashlight Night. The former two are popular, though rather self explanatory.

As for the latter, Shaggy explains: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Because people on Maui are no good at heckling,â&#x20AC;? audience members are encouraged to bring their flashlights, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;so long as they like a comedian, shine the flashlight on themâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;like

a spotlight. But the minute they stop liking the comedian, they turn off the light. Sort of our version of The Gong Show. The minute the lights are out, the comedian is off the stageâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; even if in mid-sentence... Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really fun.â&#x20AC;?

Tin Can was named for Murray Thorneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s album Tin Can Telephoneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Thorne performs the early set at Mulliganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on Tuesdaysâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and because Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Dwyer also inspired connections with the Maui Food Bank (bring in a canned good and get half-off your first round). â&#x20AC;&#x153;People are always looking for the gold standard,â&#x20AC;? laughs Shaggy, indicating that with â&#x20AC;&#x153;tinâ&#x20AC;? itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not their aim.

Yet with both established and rising comedic stars taking-part, a perfectly-suited venue and an open forum to laugh and be laughed with, not to call this a gold standard of community comedy would be the real laugh. â&#x2013;

For more info about Tin Can Comedy, see This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks, page 20

â&#x20AC;&#x153;home of the $1 mai taiâ&#x20AC;?

Kiheiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment THURSDAY 15 9pm

RAMPAGE

KIHEIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LEGENDARY REGGAE BAND

DAT GUYS JAWAIIAN MUSIC FROM MAUIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HOTTEST NEW BAND

BLACK POWDER TRADITIONAL ROADHOUSE BLUESBAND

FRIDAY 16 9pm

SATURDAY 17 9pm SUNDAY 18 8pm

KARAOKE

INDUSTRY NIGHT...COME SING!

MONDAY 19 8pm

KARAOKE

HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!!

TACO TUES

TUESDAY 20

4!#/3 s #/2/.! s #5%26/ 3(/43

OPEN MIC WATCH OR BE A STAR!

WEDNESDAY 21 9pm

3 +IHEI 2D To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404a&e THE WHO/WHEN/WHERE IS EASY TO REMEMBER: TIN CAN COMEDY EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT AT MULLIGANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON THE BLUE, 9PM. HEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WHAT KIND OF FUNNY BUSINESS TO EXPECT, WEEK-TO-WEEK...

JULY 13 - Championships Round One Winner snags ďŹ rst entry into ďŹ nals, and a $50 cash prize.

JULY 20 - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Musical Nightâ&#x20AC;? $75 cash prize and a chorus of bragging rights.

JULY 27 - Championships Round Two Second entry into ďŹ nals, and a $50 cash prize.

AUGUST 3 - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Improv Nightâ&#x20AC;? $100 cash prize and bragging rights for being funny on the ďŹ&#x201A;y.

AUGUST 10 - Championships Round Three Winner assumes third spot in ďŹ nals, and a $50 cash prize.

AUGUST 17 - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Flashlight Nightâ&#x20AC;?

Silent and more subtle than a gong. $75 cash prize for the winner still in the spotlight.

AUGUST 24 - Championships Round Four $50 cash prize and last-available spot to compete in the ďŹ nals.

AUGUST 31 - Championships Finals The ďŹ nal four qualiďŹ ers duke it out by performing their best 10-minute sets. Winner takes all.

SEPTEMBER 4 - Augie T Live at The â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iao Theater The Tin Can Comedy Champion will take to Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most historic stage, to open for Augie T.

ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

Anew Tattoo First Stop Tattoo Shop Custom Art By Nancy

808.

8872.1113 772.1113 2.11133 CALL FOR APPOINTMENT By the Airport 111 Hana Hwy #202 B Kahului, HI 96732 FIND US ON FACEBOOK

INKING MAUI FOR 17 YEARS

Free Pap Smears & Mammograms +XL 1R .H 2OD 3RQR %&&&3

LV FXUUHQWO\ VHUYLQJ ZRPHQ ZKR GR QRW KDYH PHGLFDO LQVXUDQFH

:RPHQ PXVW PHHW WKH HOLJLELOLW\ UHTXLUHPHQWV IRU WKH %UHDVW DQG &HUYLFDO &DQFHU &RQWURO 3URJUDP \HDUV ROG 0DXL FRXQW\ UHVLGHQW KDYH D VRFLDO VHFXULW\ QXPEHU DQG PHHW LQFRPH FULWHULD

)RU PRUH LQIRUPDWLRQ FDOO

&DVVLH RU 5HEHFFD DW

July 15, 2010 17

Film Critique

by Barry Wurst II barry@mauitime.com

Dream Come True Probing psychological thriller rises above the summer schlock Inception

★★★★★

Rated PG13/147 min.

T

he “look” of dreams is something most movies can’t pull off without resorting to silly touches like fuzzy photography and dancing dwarves. The list of films that convey the visual and logistical nature of dreams with any accuracy is short: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Waking Life and the original Nightmare on Elm St. come to mind. Add Inception, the new thriller from director Christopher Nolan.

This is a film so entertaining and rich with imagination, the hefty running time didn’t seem overlong; actually, I felt like I sat through two really terrific movies.

The story and the rules of the world within are meant to be discovered by the viewer as they unfold, so I’ll reveal as little

18 July 15, 2010

as possible. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as the leader of a team that commits corporate espionage in the dream world. The way this works is played out in a dizzying opening scene, followed by intriguing explanations that offer ideas both simplistic and incredibly dense about how the mind works while we’re dreaming.

A concept I loved in both the original and remake of Solaris resurfaces here: what if a version of someone you love can materialize, only it’s the way you remember the person, warts and all, and not a truthful representation, since your perspective clouds the whole picture? Marion Cotillard portrays the character in question and gives the film’s most chilling performance. DiCaprio’s character is haunted by the memory of his femme fatale wife; it’s a similar role to the one he just played in Shutter Island and, while a solid performance, it’s not one of his richest. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays one of DiCaprio’s side men and has what will likely

A morning at the office without coffee. go down as among the best movie fight scenes of this or any year.

The film will inevitably be compared to Nolan’s The Dark Knight. There are no performances that stand out the way Heath Ledger’s Joker did. Instead, Inception is an ensemble piece without a single bad performance and the story and characters are more focused than either of the Nolan Batman films. There are plot elements that will be familiar to fans of Nolan’s other work: Memento, Insomnia and The Prestige, which, come to think of it, all deal with the nature of sleep and alternate realities.

Naysayers will complain that the film is too long, too talky and too confusing. The

truth is that I can’t even tell you if there are plot holes because each scene is so layered with detail, there may be story flaws that I missed. Frankly, I could care less: when a film is this wonderful the first time, I’m more than happy to go back again and again to parse the details. Two weeks ago, I complained that so little effort and passion had gone into the latest Twilight installment.

Here is the opposite: a film packed with more smarts, surprises and awe-inspiring moments than ten run-of-the-mill summer blockbusters combined. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1404f

Film Capsules

New This Week INCEPTION - PG13 - Thriller - Leo DiCaprio and the chick from Juno invade people’s dreams in the latest mind-bender from director Christopher Nolan. See this week’s Film Critique for more. 147 min.

THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE - PG - Action, Fantasy - Hey, remember that part in Fantasia where Mickey Mouse makes all the mops come to life? They made it into an action movie starring Nicolas Cage. Wait, is this a dream?

Where’s Leo? 107 min.

Now Showing THE A-TEAM - PG13 - Action - The ‘80s TV show gets an update, though presumably fools will still be pitied. Liam Neeson stars. Seriously. 117 min.

DESPICABLE ME (3D) - PG - Family, Animated An evil genius adopts some cute kids and hilarity allegedly ensues. Steve Carrell takes a break from witty comedy to lend his voice. 94 min.

GET HIM TO THE GREEK - R - Comedy - A record company stooge (Jonah Hill) babysits a flamboyant rock star (Russell Brand) and they spend a quiet night playing Charades. Or something. 109 min.

GROWN UPS - PG13 - Comedy - A large chunk of the early ‘90s SNL cast (led by the most successful alumni, Adam Sandler and Chris Rock) reunite for a feel-good family comedy liberally sprinkled with bodily function jokes. 117 min.

THE KARATE KID - PG - Action, Drama - Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith take over for Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio in yet another ‘80s remake/reboot that’s not as sacrilegious as fans of the fun but overrated original would have you believe. 140 min.

KNIGHT AND DAY - PG13 - Action - Tom Cruise, his manic desperation ripping through the coolguy facade, fights desperately to keep being a movie star. That’s not the plot of the movie, but it’s more interesting. 124 min.

PREDATORS - R - Action, Sci-Fi - You know how you know these creatures are tough? They survived Alien vs. Predator with enough strength to make another crappy sequel. 121 min.

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME - PG13 - Fantasy, Action - Films based on video games don’t exactly have a sterling track record, but this should at least please FX-obsessed teens and anyone interested in ogling a bronzed, beefed-up Jake Gyllenhaal. 116 min.

THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D) - Fantasy - M. Night Shyamalan directs this epic about a young man who rises to meet his destiny and fight off an invading horde of supernatural baddies before Haley Joel Osment shows up and reveals he’s been a ghost all along. 103 min.

TOY STORY 3 (3D) - G - Family, Animated - The latest from the wizards at Pixar has Buzz, Woody and the gang trying to survive life at a daycare center, which is like Hostel for toys. 124 min.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE - PG13 - Fantasy Shirtless werewolves? Sparkly vampires? Long, angsty stares? You had me at Twilight. 124 min.

S H O W T I M E S FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue) DESPICABLE ME - PG - FRI (2:00, 4:30) 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED ( 1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15.

PREDATORS - R - FRI (2:15, 4:45) 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (2:15) 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. MON-TUE (2:15, 4:45) 7:15, 9:45. WED-THU (2:15, 4:45) 7:15.

SORCERER’S APPRENTICE - G - FRI (2:00) 4:30, 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (2:00) 4:30, 7:00, 9:00.

MON-WED (2:00, 4:30) 7:00, 9:30.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE - PG13 - FRI (1:20) 4:15, 7:15. SAT-SUN (1:20) 4:15, 7:15, 10:10.

MON-TUE (1:20, 4:15) 7:15.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) DESPICABLE ME - PG - THU 11:30, 12:15, 1:40, 2:25, 3:50, 4:35, 6:00, 6:45, 8:10, 8:55. FRI- SAT (11:30, 1:40, 3:50) 6:00, 8:10, 10:20. SUN -TUE (11:30, 1:40, 3:50) 6:00, 8:10. WED (11:00,12:15, 1:40, 2:25, 3:50) 4:35, 6:00, 6:45, 8:10, 8:55.

DESPICABLE ME (3D) - PG - THU 10:45, 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35. FRI-THU (10:45, 12:55, 3:05), 5:15, 7:25, 9:35.

GROWN UPS (THEATER 1) - PG13 - THU 11:00, 12:25, 1:25, 2:40, 3:40, 4:55, 5:55, 7:10, 8:10, 9:25. FRI-SAT (11:00, 12:25, 1:25, 2:40, 3:40) 4:55, 5:55, 7:10, 9:25, 10:25.

GROWN UPS (THEATER 2) - PG13 - FRI-SAT (12:30, 2:45) 5:00, 7:30, 9:45. SUN (12:30, 2:45) 5:00, 7:30. MON-WED (1:05, 3:20) 5:35, 7:50.

INCEPTION - PG13 - FRI-SUN (11:15, 2:20) 5:25, 8:30. MON-WED (1:00) 4:05, 7:10.

SORCERER’S APPRENTICE - G - FRI-SAT (11:50 2:15) 4:40, 7:05, 9:30. SUN (11:50, 2:15) 4:40, 7:05. MON-WED (1:10, 3:55) 6:00, 8:25.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE - PG13 - FRI-SAT (11:00, 1:45) 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN (11:00, 1:45, 4:30) 7:15. MON-WED (1:45) 4:30, 7:15.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) GROWN UPS-PG13-FRI-SAT (12:30, 2:45) 5:00, 7:30, 9:45. SUN (12:30, 2:45) 5:00, 7:30. MONWED (1:05, 3:20) 5:35, 7:50.

INCEPTION-PG13-FRI-SUN (11:15, 2:20) 5:25, 8:30.. MON-WED (1:00) 4:05, 7:10.

SORCERER’S APPRENTICE-G-FRI-SAT (11:50 2:15) 4:40, 7:05, 9:30. . SUN (11:50, 2:15) 4:40, 7:05. MON-WED (1:10, 3:55) 6:00, 8:25.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE-PG13-FRI-SAT (11:00, 1:45) 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN (11:00, 1:45) 4:30, 7:15. MON -WED (1:45) 4:30, 7:15.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) INCEPTION - PG13 - FRI (11:45, 12:30, 3:00, 3:45) 6:15, 7:00, 9:30, 10:15. SAT-SUN (11:45, 12:30, 3:00) 3:45, 6:15, 7:00, 10:15. MON-WED (11:45, 12:30, 3:00, 3:45) 6:15, 7:00, 9:30, 10:15.

PREDATORS - R - FRI (12:00, 2:30, 5:00) 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30) 5:00, 7:30, 10:00.

MON-WED (12:00, 2:30, 5:00) 7:30, 10:00 SORCERER’S APPRENTICE - G - MON-WED (1:50 4:25) 7:00, 9:35.

THE KARATE KID - PG - FRI (4:00) 9:35. SAT-SUN 4:00, 9:35. MON-TUE (4:00, 9:35) THE LAST AIRBENDER - PG - FRI-TUE (1:30, 7:05) THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D) - PG - FRI (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15) 7:15, 7:45, 10:15.

SAT-SUN (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45) 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15. MON-TUE 11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45) 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15.

TOY STORY 3 (3D) - G - FRI (11:00, 1:40, 4:15) 7:00, 9:40. SAT-SUN (11:00, 1:40) 4:15, 7:00, 9:40. MON-TUE (11:00,1:40) 4:15, 7:00, 9:40.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE - PG13 - FRI (11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 2:20, 3:45, 4:15, 5:15) 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10. SAT-SUN (11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 2:20) 3:45, 4:15, 5:15, 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10. MON-WED (11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 2:20, 3:45, 5:15) 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) GROWN UPS - PG13 - THU (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:30) 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. SAT-SUN (1:30) 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. MON-WED (1:30) 4:00, 6:30, 9:00.

INCEPTION - PG13 - FRI (12:30, 3:45) 7:00, 10:15. SAT-SUN (12:30) 3:45, 7:00, 10:15. MONTUE (12:30, 3:45) 7:00, 10:15.

INCEPTION (DOLBY DIGITAL) - PG13 - FRI (1:15, 4:30) 7:45, 11:00. SAT-SUN (1:15) 4:30, 7:45, 11:00. MON-WED (1:15,4:30) 7:45, 11:00.

SORCERER’S APPRENTICE - G - FRI (1:50 4:25) 7:00, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:50) 4:25, 7:00, 9:35.

THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D) - PG - THU (1:15, 4:15) 7:00, 9:45. FRI (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15.

TOY STORY 3 - G - THU (1:30, 4:00) 6:30, 9:00.

The famous blue-ball trick.

(The Sorcerer’s Apprentice)

Compiled by Philippa Tilley

July 15, 2010 19

Picks

This Week's Picks All the Weekend’s A Stage Theater-loving Mauians are spoiled for choice this summer. If the artsy Market Street scene is your thing, head to Gallerie Ha for a special performance of WARGATE. Sponsored by the Maui Live Poets Society (MLPS), poet/actor Wide Garcia will perform his original—and satirical—two-act monologue recreating World War II nostalgia. Guests are invited to share their own original art, music or spoken word with a WWII theme, dress up for the ’40s costume contest and boogie to big band beats. [Friday (July 16), 7pm, donations to MLPS accepted, 51 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3993, gallerieha.com] Also on Market Street, at the historic Iao Theater, Maui OnStage presents a second weekend of The Wedding Singer, the musical. It’s a spunky stage rendition of the rom com flick made popular by Drew Barrymore, and friend of the paper, Adam Sandler. [Friday & Saturday, 7:30pm, $40/$20 and Sunday, 3pm, (through Aug 1), $15, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, 242-6969, mauionstage.com] Wedding Singer may be the last of the Iao’s ’09-’10 season, but more is in store. Maui OnStage has announced an open audition for Arsenic and Old Lace, the show slated to kick off the new season, in October. Interested? Call to make an appointment, prepare a comedic monologue, bring along a current headshot and resume and be ready to coldread the script. [Wednesday (July 21), 6-9pm, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, 242-8680] Meanwhile, South Pacific celebrates its final weekend. The Maui Academy of Performing Arts presents this Rodgers and Hammerstein classic at the Maui Tropical Plantation, under a ceiling of stars. Bring blankets or low chairs for lawn seating, and come hungry—Bruddah Willy’s Sticky Ribs and a full bar available before showtime. [Thursday, Friday & Saturday (July 15-17), 7:30pm, $18-$25, 1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu; 244-8760, mauiacademy.org] On the West side, Theater Maui presents Follow That Rabbit, an updated version of Lewis Carroll’s classic, Alice in Wonderland.

It’s the summerlong culmination of 42 hardworking keiki, who’ve studied the art of acting under director Kristi Scott. [Friday, 10am & 7pm, Saturday, 7pm, Sun, 3pm (July 16-18), $10 adults / $5 keiki, Westin Maui Restort & Spa, Kaanapali, 661-1168] Also, at the Hyatt’s Maui Moon Theater, are the colorful acrobatics of Cirque Polynesia—a show that offers year-round kamaaina specials and deals for keiki. [Monday-Saturday, 6pm, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali, 667-4540] And if you simply can’t get enough funny, there’s plenty of comedy to be had. The island improv of The Comedy Hui features fast-paced games, musical numbers and a slew of wacky characters. [Friday (July 16), 7pm, $22 adult / $11 keiki, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469, mauiarts.org] Finally, check out this week’s Arts & Entertainment for the nitty gritty on the Tin Can Comedy championships, where not only can you win cash and a chance to open for Augie T in September, but the pupus are free and the beer is cheap. [Every Tuesday through August 31, 9pm, Mulligan’s on the Blue, Wailea, 874-1131].

20 July 15, 2010

by Anu Yagi calendar@mauitime.com

Foâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Shua

Friday (July 16), 9pm-2am), Timba, Lahaina, $10; Saturday (July 17), 10am-4pm, Maui Mall, Kahului, Free

Friday (July 23), 9:30pm, Maui Theatre, Lahaina, $55 / $75 / $125

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work backward on these. First (or, really, second) on Saturday, the Maui Health Explosion could easily have been billed as an â&#x20AC;&#x153;expoâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;but â&#x20AC;&#x153;explosionâ&#x20AC;? is much cooler. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also indicative of the vibe required to celebrate (and create) a healthy community.

Center stage performances and demos stack up like this: Halau Hula O Keola Aliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;iokekai (10am), Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alele Lomi Lomi Movement Meditation (11am), Energy 35 (noon), The Union Yoga Movement (12:30pm), Art of Flamingo Dance (1pm), Healthy Cooking Demonstration (2pm), Aloha Ballroom Dancing (2:30pm) and Zumba (3:15pm). If you require one last hurrah before embarking on new healthy resolutions, check out Timba the night before (Friday) for their â&#x20AC;&#x153;X-mas in Julyâ&#x20AC;? shindig. Everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s encouraged to dress up in their best red and green threads for a â&#x20AC;&#x153;bigger-than-NYEâ&#x20AC;? party thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to be full of spark. Mauimall.com / timbamaui.com, 661-9873

â&#x20AC;&#x153;From the first to the last of it, delivery is passionate / The whole and not the half of it, vocab and not the math of it / Projectile that them blasted with, accurate assassin shitâ&#x20AC;Ś / After this you be pressing rewind on top your master discâ&#x20AC;? [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Definition,â&#x20AC;?

Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star (1998)] â&#x20AC;&#x153;No matter what disc recorder or part of town you livinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in / I recommend you listeninâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to these distinguished gentlemenâ&#x20AC;Ś We document the memorable / Then break â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em up like syllablesâ&#x20AC;Ś / We five-dimensional, audio, visual, physical, spiritual, lyricalâ&#x20AC;Ś / We transmit another worldâ&#x20AC;? [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Another World,â&#x20AC;? We Are Hip Hop Me You Everybody (2003)] â&#x20AC;&#x153;You know the deal / Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just me, yoâ&#x20AC;Ś / Nine planets faithfully keep in orbit / With the probable tenth, the universe expands length / The body of my text possess extra strength / Power-lift the powerless up, out of this, towerinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; inferno / My ink so hot it burn through the journalâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mathematics,â&#x20AC;? Black on Both Sides (2003)] â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Mos Definite, not think so / Flood your city with the black ink flowâ&#x20AC;Ś / Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all good, we all here, goinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; all out / All day, listen when this song sayâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Close Edge,â&#x20AC;? The New Danger (2004)]. 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com, groovetickets.com

Hawaii County Choppers & Oceans Present

The Summer Bash Bikini Contest & Bike Show SUNDAY, JULY 18TH FROM 1PM TIL 6PM M UIS

Best Bike Prize

Mango Pickers LI VE

100

The

$

M UI S

$

C

IC STARTS AT 10PM X $10 COVER Q103 & THE BIG HAWAIIAN present DJ STYLES X MUS

s LIV

E

Bikini Contest Prize 150 Bikinis Provided By Hawaiian Hottie

$

â&#x20AC;&#x153;BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUIâ&#x20AC;?

E WEDNESDAY â&#x20AC;&#x153;BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUIâ&#x20AC;?

WILD WAHINUS LADIESNIGHT

CASANOVAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FAMO

Cs

PHOTO BY NATALIE ELDER

Healthy Holidays

3 BUD/

BUD LIGHT

NO COVER

TH , JULY.16 FRIDAY OF ROOTS PRESENTS

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM X $10 COVER

GGAE IN THE VALLEY RE WEEKEND PREPARTY BASH TICKET GIVEAWAYS

HOUSE

X

AY, JULY.17 SATURD

PRESENT Q103 FM MIX ISLAN D FM & THE TH

HAWAII

THE SOCIAL HOT SPOT

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM NO COVER CHARGE!

DJ KAMIK AZE

YS TUESDA $10 COVER AT 9PM X

WILLIE K

& HIS BAND

Sponsored By Exotic Leiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

1320 Performance

,E[EMM 'SYRX] 'LSTTIVW

3 +IHEI 2D s

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING IN MAKAWAO TOWN. DINE AND DANCE AT CASANOVA. FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS

CALL 572-0220 X CASANOVAMAUI.COM July 15, 2010 21

Calendar

by Anu Yagi calendar@mauitime.com

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS SOLO SESSIONS WITH JAKE SHIMABUKURO - Thu, Jul 15. Get a session with Jake Shimabukuro, Hawaii’s ‘ukulele ambassador, unplugged in the intimate McCoy Studio. Jake will take the stage with stories, songs and lightening-fast strumming in hist signature ‘ukulele style. “Peace, Love, and ‘Ukulele.” $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org THE COMEDY HUI - Fri, Jul 16. Round two in a monthly series, this island improv comedy show features fast-paced games, wacky characters and even a few musicals. $22 / $11 kids ages 12 & under. 7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org MOS DEF - Fri, Jul 23. Go. Most definitely go. The only thing not “fo’ shua” is if you can score tickets in time. So what are you waiting for? $55 / $75 / $125. 9:30 p.m. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 808-661-9913; www. mauitheatre.com / www.ticketmaster.com

STAGE “WARGATE” - Fri, Jul 16. A satirical two-act monologue recreating World War II nostalgia, written and performed by poet/actor Wide Garcia.

Sponsored by the Maui Live Poets Society, guests are invited to share original art, enter the ‘40s costume contest and boogie to big band. Free. 7 p.m.

Gallerie Ha, 51 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-2443993; http://www.gallerieha.com “THE WEDDING SINGER” THE MUSICAL - Fri, Sat & Sun, (July 16-18). Maui OnStage presents a peppy stage rendition of this rom com made modern classic (on the silver screen, starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore). Directed by Lisa Teichner. Stars Mark Boldden and Jaqui Sherwood. Runs Fri - Sun, until Aug 1. $40 preferred / $20 general ($15 on Sun at 3pm). 7:30 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-242-6969; www.mauionstage.com CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Circue du Soleil meets Polynesian hula with amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics and illusions, and mind-boggling contortionist and balancing-acts. Call for their Kama’aina special. Starting at $62; Deals for kids. 6 p.m. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 808-667-4540; http://maui.hyatt.com

FOODIE HEALTH FAIR AT MAUI MALL - Sat, Jul 17. Enjoy free samples of Whole Foods Market’s favorite health and beauty products, which are free of preservatives and artifical ingredients. While there, stop by the center stage at 11 am and 2 pm for a free cooking demo, featuring healthy recipes.

No Cover. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui BBQ FUNDRAISER FOR K-AKU COMMUNITY RADIO - Sat, Jul 17. Whole Foods will be serving local, Maui beef with all proceeds benefiting K-Aku, a local nonprofit, community radio project that plays the best Paniolo, country and Hawaiian music on the island. No Cover. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-8723310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ISLE FRESH RADIO - Mon, Jul 19. Bob Bates, director

22 July 15, 2010

of the film, “Ingredients,” will discuss his ongoing efforts to bring to light hopeful stories centered on the slow food movement, local farmers, producers and health. No Cover. 11-11:30 a.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui SCIENCE AND NATURE LECTURE SERIES PART 2 Tue, Jul 20. This month’s second lecture will focus on ongoing conservation and preservation work in and around Maui. No Cover. 6 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui LET’S RETAKE OUR PLATES - Wed, Jul 21. Free screening of the film, Ingredients. Also featuring a question and answer session with a panel of experts. No Cover. 2 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui KAMA’AINA MONDAYS - Mon, Jul 5. In celebrating our one year anniversary, David Paul’s is offering 50% off all entrees. Hawaii I.D. Required. Every Monday. 50 % off all Entrees. David Paul’s Island Grill, 900 Front St. Suite A101, Lahaina; 808-6623000; http://www.davidpaulsislandgrill.com GIRLS NIGHT OUT - Tue, July 20 - Featuring vendors,door prizes, drink specials and a four course fondue extravaganza. $35 per person. 5-9 p.m. The Melting Pot, 325 Keawe St., Ste. A202, Lahaina; 808-661-6181; http://www.meltingpot.com LOCAVORE STYLE SECOND YEAR ANNIVERSARY - Daily. Come to celebrate and support the Maui Food Bank while experiencing an exquisite threecourse Hawaii Grown anniversary dinner by Chef Peter Merriman. Featuring Maui Lehua Taro “Mignon”, Sauteed Big Island Abalone and Maui Cattle Company Filet. $48. Merriman’s, 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina; 808-669-6400 LAHAINA GRILL TURNS 20 - Tue, July 20 - On the 20th of every month in 2010, come into Lahaina Grill for 50% off all entrees for Kama’aina. Just show valid Hawaii ID. 50% off. Lahaina Grill, 127 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina; 808-667-5117; http://www.lahainagrill.com

TICKETS ON SALE SOLO SESSIONS WITH JAKE SHIMABUKURO - Thu, Jul 15. See Big Shows for more. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org SOUTH PACIFIC - Daily. Second and final week to enjoy this classic. Spend an enchanted evening under the stars with Maui Academy of Performing Arts and their production of this Rodgers & Hammerstein classic.

Bring blankets or low chairs for lawn seating. Gates open at 6:30pm. Also features a USO-style show with dancers and singers presenting favorite hits from the 1940s, plus Pekelo Cosma, a Na Hoku Hanohano award-winning slack key musician. Also, food from Bruddah Willy’s Sticky Ribs will be available for sale before the show, as well as a full bar. $18 - $25. 7:30-10 p.m. Maui Tropical Plantation, 1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu; 808-244-8760; http://www.mauiacademy.org THE COMEDY HUI - Fri, Jul 16. See Big Shows for more. $22 / $11 kids ages 12 & under. 7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org MOS DEF - Fri, Jul 23. See Big Shows for more. $55 / $75 / $125. 9:30 p.m. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St.

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7/15

7/16

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

7/17

7/18

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/19 - 7/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

The Crunch Pups 7-10pm; No Cover

Flashback Fridays 9pm; $10

AMBROSIA

Old School Night with DJ Del Sol 10pm

What the Funk! Fridays with DJ Forrest 10pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

MON - Tom Conway 5pm / TUES - Bad Kitty 7pm; WED - Curtis Williams 9pm Sunrize Saturdays with DJ Decka 10pm

Happy Hour Sundays with DJ CIA 10pm

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE

TUE - Camp Savage Happy Hour

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina - 669-8889

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

MON - Erin Smith /TUE - Drum & Bass w/ DJ AstroRaph; WED - Maui’s HI-5 Night w/ DJ Del Sol & DJ CIA

Wavetrain 10 pm ; $5

Roots Judgement 9pm - 12am; No Cover

Kulture Klash 808 No Cover

TUE - Willie K 9pm; $10 WED - Ladies Night $10

Selactah Atatus Sound 10 - Close; $10

DJ TBA 10pm - Close; No Cover

TUE - Danyell Alana 10 pm WED - Rack ‘Em Up Wednesdays

The Diva Club “A Night in Tokyo”

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL

DJ Music 10 pm; No Cover

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

Arise 10pm; No Cover

MON - Gomega 9:30pm / TUE- Open Mic 9pm WED - DJ Music 10pm (All No Cover)

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

DJ Music 10 pm; No Cover

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

Arise 10pm; No Cover

MON - Gomega 9:30pm / TUE- Open Mic 9pm WED - DJ Music 10pm (All No Cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night / DJ Chrest 8pm; No Cover

Jarod 10pm; No Cover

David Bailey 10pm; No Cover

Billy & Bad Dogs No Cover

MON - Ka’ena Elaban; TUE - Live Music WED - Jessica & Friend (All 10pm; No Cover)

GIAN DON’S

Jeff New’s Island Style Music 5-8 pm

Club Ultrafab...

will

return

next month.

DJ Music 9pm-2am

Karaoke

TUE - Pool Tournament WED - Ladies Night / DJ Dance Party

900 Front St., Lahaina - 662-3000

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Karaoke Kalani 8:30pm

The Crunch Pups 9pm

Rick Glencross / Dat Guyz 9pm - Close

Ryan Robinson & Wolf / Black Powder

HANG LOOSE LOUNGE 333 Dairy Rd., Kahalui - 877-6284

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

Junior Lacuesta / Rampage 9pm-Close

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

(Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 808-661-9913; www. mauitheatre.com / www.ticketmaster.com

appointment. 6-9 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-244-8680; www.mauionstage.com

5TH ANNUAL REGGAE IN THE VALLEY - Sat, Jul 24. Featuring Sly Dog, Rushouze, Dani Girl, Maoli, Natural Vibes, Ten Feet, Kolohe Kai and FIJI, this concert will be a night jam-packed with old school and new school local music across the spectrum. $20 advance, $30 day of show. 4:30 p.m. Events Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808242-7469; www.mauiarts.org

WANTED: ARTISTS: MAUI CRAFTS GUILD - Daily. The gallery features ceramics, basket-weaving, textiles, jewelry, glass, woodwork and other crafts. However, ceramics or jewelry are not being accepted at this time. Visit the gallery to fill out an application and submit artwork. Maui Crafts Guild, 69 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-9697; http://www.mauicraftsguild.com

MAKING WAVES LECTURE SERIES: “THE STATUS OF MAUI’S REEF ECOSYSTEMS” - How healthy are Maui’s coral reef ecosystems? Russell Sparks, Education Specialist of Hawaii’s Division of Aquatic Resources, will explain. The talk is free and the public invited. Attendees will learn which reefs are showing signs of decline and why. Free.

6-7:30 p.m. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center, 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100, Ma’alaea; 808249-8811; http://www.pacificwhalestore.org

FACES OF HAWAII PHOTO PORTRAIT COMPETITION Daily. Last week for entries (due July 15) for HI Art Magazine & idspace’s photography competition portraying Hawaii’s faces. Winners will be compiled into a book, “Faces of Hawaii, Volume 3.” www.hiartmagazine.com.

TOM GREEN - Fri, Aug 6. Put your bum in whatever position it needs to be (car seat, computer chair, telephone booth) to get you and your friends tickets to Tom Green’s first performance on Maui. With special guests Brian Evans, Sunny Dennis and King Martin. $39.95 / $59.95 / $79.95. 9:30 p.m. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 808-661-9913; www.mauitheatre.com / www.ticketmaster.com

MAUI NUI BOTANICAL GARDENS SEEKS DOCENTS - Daily. This Central Maui oasis seeks volunteer docents to lead tours through its gardens. Anyone interested in learning to lead tours about the conservation and ethno-botanical uses of native and Polynesian-introduced plants is encouraged to apply (by July 30). Maui Nui Botanical Garden, 150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; Lisa Raymond: 808-249-2798; http://www.mnbg.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS

EVENTS

REGISTRATION DEADLINE FOR LAUHALA WEAVING CLASS - Fri, Jul 16. A six-week “Beginning Lauhala Weaving” class will be held each Thursday from July 29 through September 9 from 6-8pm. Limited to just 12 students. Learn to prepare hala leaves and weave your own lauhala project with kumu Pohaku Kaho`ohanohano. $50 Members / $60 Non-members. Bailey House Museum, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 808-244-3326; http://www.mauimuseum.org

THURSDAY, JULY 15

OPEN AUDITIONS FOR “ARSENIC AND OLD LACE” Wed, Jul 21. Show will run October 8-24, as Maui OnStage’s 2010-2011 season opener. Performers should prepare a comedic monologue and come prepared to read from the script. They should also bring a current headshot and resume. Call to schedule an audition

Dan & Ann / Karaoke 8pm - Close

MON - Kahala / TUE - Rick Glencross / WED - Jordan Cudworth / Open Mic

Sonido Inspiracion Latina w/ DJ Jammin J, 9:30pm; $7

HARD ROCK CAFE

THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN - A two-day workshop sponsored by the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. Participants will explore the ancient method of journeying and learn about core shamanism, a method of spiritual healing used for restoring health, solving problems and healing. $195 early / $240 after July 15. 9:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Hale Ho’omana, 1550 Pi’iholo Rd., Makawao; 808-2695137 / shamanicjourneying@gmail.com; http:// www.halehoomana.com

WED - Kenny Roberts 7:30pm

MARY LOU SANELLI AUTHOR EVENT - Exploration of friendship in women’s lives. “Among Friends: A Memoir of One Woman’s Expectations, Disappointments, regrets and discoveries while searching for friendsfor life.” Enjoy this reading and the company of other inspiring, interesting women. No Cover. 7 p.m. Borders Books & Music, Maui Marketplace, 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-877-6160; www.borders.com

SOME HERE

THURSDAY NIGHT YOUTH GROUP - Get together at Hope Chapel North Shore in the Haiku Cannery for a time of food, fun and fellowship. If you are between 9-18 then this is the place to come and make quality friends. Free. Hope Chapel North Shore, 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku; 808-575-2650; http:// www.hopechapelnorthshore.org

ALL ONLINE

Calendar Listings on mauitime.com

AUTHOR NORM BEZANE - Every Thursday, the West Maui Chartered Lions Club hosts an exciting guest speaker. This week, author Norm Bezane will introduce and discuss his new book, “Voices of Maui.”

11:30 a.m. Outback Steakhouse, Lahaina Gateway Plaza, 325 Keawe St., Lahaina; RSVP: President Carmen Karady 808-276-4629 TURTLE-RRIFIC THURSDAY - Learn about Hawaii’s honu through up close and personal encounters. The aquarium’s curatorial department—the team that cares for the animals and exhibits—will host this exciting activity at the Turtle Lagoon. Free with Admission. 2 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 808-270-7000; www.mauioceancenter.com

■

FRIDAY, JULY 16 KAHULUI UNION CHURCH - Performance. Free.

6:30 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; http://www.mauimall.com ZUMBA DEMO - This fitness craze is all the rage.

See first-hand what all the fuss is about. Free. 7 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http:// www.queenkaahumanucenter.com WO HING MUSEUM AFTER DARK - Let the lights from the Wo Hing Museum draw you in for its special Friday hours of 1 to 8pm. With its usual day time hours 10am to 4pm, visitors have the unique opportunity to visit the museum and temple at night. $2 General Admission, Kids 12 and under free. 1-8 p.m. Wo

Hing Temple Museum, 858 Front St., Lahaina; 808661-3262; http://www.lahainarestoration.org ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Join Pacific Whale Foundation for very special whalewatch cruise, featuring cocktails, appetizers, and music, hosted by local reggae star Marty Dread. $49.95. 5-7 p.m. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center, 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 211, Wailuku; 808249-8811 ext. 1; www.pacificwhale.org/ecocruises

SATURDAY, JULY 17 THIRD ANNUAL AGING WISELY EXPO - A variety of fun and informative healthy-living exhibits/presentations, including free blood pressure checks. Free. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Roselani Place, 88 S. Papa Ave., Kahului; 808-871-7720; http://www.roselaniplace.com MAUI HEALTH EXPLOSION - Halau Hula O Keola Ali’iokekai (10am), Ka’alele Lomi Lomi Movement Meditation (11am), Energy 35 (12pm), The Union Yoga Movement (12:30pm), Art of Flamingo Dance (1pm), Healthy Cooking Demo (2pm), Aloha Ballroom Dancing (2:30pm), and Zumba (3:15pm). Free. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808871-1307; http://www.mauimall.com STORY TIME - Story time is hosted in the “Hawaiians and the Sea Exhibit,” followed by a fun craft. Keiki activities are complimentary with aquarium admission and is appropriate for kids ages 3-12. Will also be held on July 24 and 31. Free with Admission. 11:30 a.m. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 808-270-7000; www.mauioceancenter.com ZUMBA DEMO - Tired of crying in the dressing room?

Me too. Zumba masters say they’ve got the fix, with their brand of boogying to a better bootie. Free. 1:30 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http://www. queenkaahumanucenter.com OPENING RECEPTION: KOLU HIHI`O: PLACE / PERSPECTIVE / PALETTE - Viewpoints is proud to present the latest artwork by Suzy Papanikolas, Tim Garcia, & Robena. Show runs July 15 - Aug 17. This exhibit provides a unique insight as these artists approach their work from three distinctive visions (Kolu Hihi`o). 5 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-572-5979; www. viewpointsgallerymaui.com

July 15, 2010 23

“WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS” MAUI CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND HARD ROCK CAFE WANT TO GIVE A SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR MAUI MERCHANTS, NEIGHBORS & COMMUNITY FOR HELPING MAKE THE 4TH OF JULY ONE TO REMEMBER!

AA OCEANFRONT RENTALS & SALES, AAAAA RENT-A-SPACE-MAUI, LTD ACE HARDWARE HAWAII, INC., ALOHA SELF STORAGE, ATLANTIS SUBMARINES HAWAII, LLC, BARBARA E. SHARP, BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO., CERTIFIED MANAGEMENT, INC. CHASE N’ RAINBOWS REAL ESTATE, INC., CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE, LAHAINA, COOL CAT CAFÉ, DAVID FERREBEE CONSTRUCTION DON COUCH, EXPEDITIONS MAUI LANAI FERRY, THE FEAST AT LELE HARD ROCK CAFÉ - MAUI, HARMER COMMUNICATIONS, HOLY INNOCENTS EPISCOPAL CHURCH, I’O PACIFIC CUISINE, ISLAND FOODS DBA SCOOPS JC CHISM MAUI, JOSEPH D. PLUTA, KA’ANAPALI LAND MANAGEMENT COMPANY KAHANA FALLS IOA, KIMO’S RESTAURANT, KOBE JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE LAHAINA DIVE AND SURF, LLC, LAHAINA GRILL, LAHAINA INN LAHAINA FISH COMPANY, LAHAINA YACHT CLUB, LAHAINA TOWN ACTION COMMITTEE, LAPPERTS (PELE’S PARTNERS) LOKELANI CONSTRUCTION CO., INC., LOKO MAUI, LLC, LONGHI’S LAHAINA LOWSON & ASSOCIATES, MAUI USA REALTY, INC. THE MINDS EYE INTERIORS, INC., NAI’A PROERTIES, INC. OLD LAHAINA LUAU, PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION, PACIFIC’O PARAGON SAILING CHARTERS, PIONEER INN, RECYCLED BIKES & BOARDS ROZ BAKER, RUTH CHRIS STEAK HOUSE, SEA BREEZE CLOTHING & CURIOS, LTD SEA SPORT CRUISES, INC., SIR WILFRED’S LAHAINA, SOUTH SEAS SUNSHINE HELICOPTERS, INC., THE LAHAINA NEWS, THE MAUI CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, THE MAUI NEWS, THE WHARF CINEMA CENTER, TIMESHARE RESALES HAWAII, TRAVEL NETWORK, INC., TRILOGY EXCURSIONS, WEST MAUI CYCLES WHALERS REALTY, INC.

900 FRONT STREET LAHAINA, MAUI

24 July 15, 2010

667-7400

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7/15

7/16

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

7/17

7/18

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/19 - 7/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonso 7 pm - Close; No Cover

Guest Performer 7 pm - Close; No Cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7 pm - Close; No Cover

Brian Cuomo 7 pm - Close; No Cover

MON - Guest Performer 7 pm - Close; No Cover; TUE - WED - Rene Alonzo 7 pm - Close; No Cover

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

KIMOS

Hula Honeys

Barefoot Minded 8-10 pm

Fausto & Kawika No Cover, 8pm

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina - 667-6655

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Gay Night 10pm - 2am

Kanaha Canoe Club Fundraiser feat. Jacob Abeytia & Friends

Hustle & Throw Benefit Concert feat. Sounds of Addiction, Mele Pono & Guests

Hip Hop Club Music with X-Clusive Saturdays $10, 10 pm-2 am

MON-Service Industry Night 10pm; No Cover TUESDolla Balla Night w/ DJ Twizzy 10pm; No Cover

Kulewa 9:45pm; No Cover

WED - Open Mic Night 10pm; No Cover

Ben Bird 9:30pm-1:30am

TUE - Open Mic Night WED - The Benoits 7:30-9:30pm

Sabrina 7:30-9:30pm

Kea’a 7:30-9:30pm

DJ Pete 90X No Cover, 9 pm - 12 am

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8644

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St. Kihei - 874-1131

The Ringo Show 9pm

UniFires 9pm

Dolla Drinks 9pm

Pub Quiz Night with Trish the Dish and Daithi 9pm - 12am

Gail Swanson / Ka’ena Elaban 9pm-12am

Jazz on the Blue 7 - 10pm Alan Kavanaugh 10pm - Close

The Celtic Tigers 6 9:30pm; Soul Concepts 10pm - Close

MON - Willie K 7-9pm / TUE - Murray Thorne/Tin Can Comedy w/ Shaggy WED - Willie K / Rick Glencross

Live Irish Aloha Friday 7 pm Johnny Ringo Nite - 10pm

Sounds of Addiction 10 pm No Cover

Ryan Palma 10 pm No Cover

MON - Bloodlines 10pm / TUES- Ryan Palma 10 pm

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

HALIIMAILE COMMUNITY GARDEN MEMBER ORIENTATION - A place not just to garden and grow food, but also to meet other gardeners, volunteer, and contribute to sustainability projects.

Orientations for new members are usually held the first Saturday of each month, or as frequently as possible. Free. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Haliimaile Community Garden, n/a; www.haliimailegarden.com

SUNDAY, JULY 18 MAKAWAO TOWN JAMBOREE - Sponsored by Makawao Town Merchants Association. Mike Carroll’s Community Service house band, other musicians will play outdoors “under the stars”. Free. 5-8 p.m. across from Rodeo General Store, 808-357-4943; rc@mauifuturearts.org

MONDAY, JULY 19 FREE KEIKI ART CLASS - Arts education class for ages 5-18. Sponsored by the Lahaina Arts Association. Free. 3-5 p.m. Lahaina Surf - HI Housing Authority, 1028 Waine’e St., Lahaina; 808-661-0111; www.lahaina-arts.com HULA SHOW - Original hip-sters. Free. 10 a.m.

Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http:// www.queenkaahumanucenter.com

WEDNESDAY, JULY 21 FREE ART CLASS - A children’s art education class for ages 5-18, sponsored by the Lahaina Arts Association. Free. 2:30 p.m.-4:30 a.m. Honokowai Kauhale, 3500 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai; 808-661-0111; www.lahaina-arts.com SWING LATIN AND BALLROOM DANCE CLASSES July 7th is the registration date for this 3-month long dance class which takes place every Wednesday.

Learn Beginner East Coast Swing and Intermediate Fox Trot with Maui’s only trained ballroom dance professional Rita O’Conner. Couples and Singles. ritaoc@ hawaii.rr.com,. $50 for 3 months. 6:30-9 p.m. Kihei Community Center, 303 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 808-8794364; http://www.alohaballroom.com

WED - Karaoke 7:30 - 11 pm; No Cover

Tony Ray & Friends 8-11pm / Hip Hop Sesh 11pm - 2am

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Karaoke 7:30 - 11pm; No Cover

Netto & Barbara Salsa / Latin Top 40 DJ; 8pm - 2am

MAUI BREWING CO. MOANA CAFE

MON, TUE & WED - Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; No Cover

Crazy Fingers 9pm; No Cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Willie K 3-5pm

Alex Calmer 4-11pm

LAHAINA CAFE

LULU’S KIHEI

MON, TUE & WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

TUE - Dolla Drinks; WED - Dub Fire

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0700.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6 p.m.; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0937.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Sat, JD & Harry 2:305 p.m.; Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5 p.m.; Fri, The J.D on the Rocks Band 2:30-5 p.m. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 808-661-4495.

DUKES BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon, Tue & Wed, Damien & Edee 6-8:30 p.m.; Thu, Ernie & Miles 3-5 p.m.; Thu, Garrett Probst 6-8:30 p.m.; Fri, Henry Kapono 4-6 p.m.; Every Fri & Sat, Kulewa 6-8:30 p.m.; Every Sun & Sat, Mondo 3-5 p.m.; Sun, Ernie & Miles 6-8:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Tue & Wed, Brian 3-5 p.m. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-662-2900.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina, 808-667-1200.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Mon, The Benoits HULA GRILL - Fri, Ernetst Pua’a and 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Tue, David Choy 5:30Friends 6:30-9 p.m.; Sun, Kawika 8:30 p.m. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, Lum Ho 2-4 p.m.; Tue, Jarret 808-669-6400.

Roback 2-4 p.m.; Tue, Ernest MULLIGAN’S AT THE Pua’a Hawaiian Trio 4-9 WHARF - Fri, Irish Aloha p.m.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a 2-4 Fridays 7-9 p.m. Wharf p.m.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a HaCinema Center, 658 Front waiian and Friends 6:30-9 St., Lahaina, 808-661p.m.; Fri, Ron Hetten 11:30 8881. a.m.-1 p.m.; Sun, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9 p.m.; PINEAPPLE GRILL - Sat, Jazz mauitime.com/listing Mon, Ernest Pua 11:30 a.m.on the Green 7-10 p.m.; Fri, 1 p.m.; Mon, Derick Sebastian Jawaiian Music 7-10 p.m. 200 Kaand Josh Kahula 6:30-9 p.m.; Thu, palua Dr., Kapalua, 808-669-9600.

Ernest Pua’a 2-4 p.m.; Fri, Ernest PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, Greg Pua’a and Kawika Lum Ho 11:30 a.m.-4 DiPiazza 6-8 p.m.; Tue, Ah Tim Elenicki 5:30p.m.; Sat, Oren and JR 4-6 p.m.; Mon, Kawika 8:30 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 808-661-8881.

Lum Ho 2-4 p.m. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA - Every Wed & Thu, Banyan Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 808-667-6636.

Tree Restaurant. 1 Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua, 808-669-6200.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Re-

SUBMIT YOUR

LISTINGS

Calendar Listings ■

nee Alonso 7 p.m.; Every Mon & Fri, Guest Performer 7 p.m.; Sat, Farzad & Mike Madden 7 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai, 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Mon, Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6-8 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA CAFE - Fri, Alex L Calma 7-9 p.m. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Mon, Wed & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9 p.m.; Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9 p.m. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 808-669-1500.

TIAJUANA’S CANTINA - Wed, Tableside Magic with Brenton Keith 6-9 p.m. 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-667-4080.

SOUTH MAUI BEACH BUM’S BAR & GRILL - Wed, Blues Brews & BBQ 5-9 p.m.; Every Mon, Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5 p.m.; Wed, Tom & Randall Rospond 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Fri, Tom Cherry/Mike F 5-9 p.m.; Sun, Kaleo 5-9 p.m.; Wed, Rand Coon & Randall 6-9 p.m.; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8 p.m. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Wailuku, 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10 p.m.; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10 p.m. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-9 p.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd. # 314, Kihei, 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Billy & The Bad Dogs 4-7 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-875-9669.

FIVE PALMS RESTAURANT - Sun, Brian Cuomo 7 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-2607.

GIAN DON’S - Fri, Joe Conti & Sayrah Garrison 7-9 p.m.; Thu, Jeff New Island Style Music 5-8 p.m.

1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-4041.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Wed, Jordan Cudworth 4-8 p.m.; Thu, Junior Lacuesta 4-8 p.m.; Sat, Ryan Robinson and Wolf 4-7 p.m.; Sun, Dan & Ann 5-8 p.m.; Mon, TBD 4-8 p.m.; Every Tue & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8 p.m.

1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E, Kihei, 808-891-8010.

LONGHI’S WAILEA - Sat, Longhi’s. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Ala Nui , Wailea, 808-891-8883.

LULU’S KIHEI - Sat, Hawaiian Music & Hula Show 6-8 p.m.; Fri, Hawaiian Music & Hula Show 5-7 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-9944.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Willie K 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Tue, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 808-874-1131.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Erin Smith 4-6 p.m.; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6 p.m. Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Cyrus Clarke 4-6 p.m.; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6 p.m.; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6 p.m.; Sun, Phil & Angela Benoit 5-8 p.m.; Mon, Tom Cherry and Mike

July 15, 2010 25

EE FR

ALLL CRAFT FTT

THE LINEUP

$3. $3 $3.50 3.5 .50 50

THURSDAY 7/15

PUB QUIZ

9pm - mid

Hosted by Trish “The Dish” & Daithi

FREE PUPUS & 50% OFF DRAFTS!

M I ON MAU B R ON VOTED #1 SPORTSS BAR THUR 7/15 JOIN US FOR SDAY UR TH TY IRS TH $3 CORONAS, CORONA LIGHTS,

FRIDAY s PM

GAIL SWANSON KA’ENA ELABAN

PUPU SPECIALS 6PM $2.50 WELL DRINKS & PU

SATURDAY s PM

PS CH PUFREE! C NC UN RU THE CR 7PM FRI 7/16

JAZZ ON THE BLUE 1SJNF 3JC 4FBGPPE #VGGFUU t &BU BT you please $30

FL ASHBACK S IDAY FR9PM - CLOSE $10

ALAN KAVANAUGH

W/ NEXT LEVEL ENTERTAINMENT

SAT 7/177 SUN 7/18

10 pm - close SUNDAY s PM

ROOTS T JUDGEMEN 9PM FREE!

THE CELTIC TIGERS SOUL CONCEPTS 10pm - CLOSE

AT NIGHT BO WITH DJ JAMN J 9PM - CLOSE FREE!

19 /19 77/19 ON 7/ MON

MONDAY s PM HAWAIIAN NIGHTS W/

WILLIE K

RECORDING ARTIST

WEDNESDAY s PM

TOM CONW5PMAY FREE!

WILLIE K TUESDAY s PM

7/2 U 7/20 TTUE TU

MURRAY THORNE

LADIES NIGHT L /BAD KITT Y W FREE POOL! 2 FOR 1 PUPUS 7PM FREE!

WED 7/21

9 pm-mid

TIN CAN TUESDAYS

Bring a can of food for the Maui Food Bank, get half off your drink!

TIN CAN COMEDY W/

3(!''9 1

SOU LFU L SOU ND S OF CU RT IS

9- 10 pm

WEDNESDAY s PM #LOSE OPEN MIC WITH

S 9PM FREE! W IL LIENAM OR STEAK TACOS! 7PM

RICK GLENCROSS

$2 CHICK

/&8 .&/6 t /&8 #&&34 0/ 5"1

$3 WELL DRINKS MON. FRI 36PM

$2 PINTS OF ROLLING ROCK &

PABST ALL OF THE TIME!

& ,".&)".&)" "7& t /&95 50 8&/%: 4 ű t ,")6-6*"-&)064& $0.

s +AUKAHI 3T 7AILEA (Located at the Wailea Blue Course)

WWW -ULLIGANS/N4HE"LUE COM

TIN N

A C COMEDY

TECH TALK SATURDAYS

S ONSHIP CHAMPI

OPEN MIC M COMEDY COMPETITION 2/5.$ 4UESDAY *ULY s .O #OVER PM s &2%% 0UPU "UFFET #OMEDIANS PERFORM MIN s 3ETS OPEN TO PUBLIC s #OME AS YOU ARE 7INNER OPENS FOR !UGIE 4 AT ,AHAINA 4HEATER IN 3EPTEMBER

s +AUKAHI 3T 7AILEA Located at the Wailea Blue Course)

WWW -ULLIGANS/N4HE"LUE COM

26 July 15, 2010

12pm - 2pm MAUI ONLINE 2pm - 5pm LEO LAPORTE, THE TECH GUY 5pm - 8pm THE KIM KOMANDO SHOW

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7/15

7/16

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/17

7/18

7/19 - 7/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

PINEAPPLE GRILLE

200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Jawaiian Music w/ DJ Bruddah Damien

Entourage Fridays / Drop It Low Dance Contest 10 pm; $5

Flashback Saturdays w/ NLE 10pm; No Cover

Ocean Vodka Beach Party 7-10 pm

Smooth Jazz Sounds w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends, 7pm -10m

RITZ CARLTON

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Open Mic Night 10 pm

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

DJ Slackin 10pm; No Cover

DJ Sonny 10pm; No Cover

DJ LX 10pm; No Cover

Roots Judgement 9pm - 12am; No Cover

Kulture Klash 808 9pm - 12am; No Cover

Supper Club with Barry Flanagan and Eric Gilliom

Supper Club with Barry Flanagan and Eric Gilliom

Jerry Caires Band 9pm - 1 am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; No Cover

Ladies Night - Live DJ 10pm; No Cover

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

Ah Tim 4 - 6pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIAJUANA’S

2911 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali - 667-4080

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

333 Dairy Rd. #101, Kahului - 871-1414

Finkiewicz 4-6 p.m.; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6 p.m. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 808-875-2910.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:309:30 p.m.; Every Sun & Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Kihei, 808-875-9983.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Mondo Kane 6-9 p.m.; Thu, Island favorites with Kawika Lum Ho 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Clasic Rock with Dominic 6-9 p.m.; Sun, Crunch Pups 6-9 p.m.; Mon, Bobby Ingraham 6-9 p.m.; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9 p.m.

2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8 p.m.; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8 p.m. 1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului, 808-877-0073.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Friends of Bryan 5:30 p.m.; Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Menehune Music and Bryan and Friends 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Fausto’s Guitar 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; Every Tue & Sat, Francois’ Piano 5 p.m. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 808-873-6555.

MAIN STREET BISTRO - Every Thu & Fri, Rythm & Blues with Freedom 5 p.m.-7:30 a.m. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 808-244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Wed, Cafe Des Amis; Wed, Stone Violets 6:30-9 p.m. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-6323.

GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6 p.m. 137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 808-579-9130.

HANA HOU CAFE - Mon-Fri, Hana Hou Cafe 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku, 808-575-2661.

MAX WORLD BISTRO - Fri, Goody and the Kit

TUE - Taco Tuesday

Viva La Bumba 10pm; No Cover

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - Tequila Tuesday w/ DJ LX; WED- Ladies Night with the ADD Twins

Phil and Angela Benoits 5 - 8 pm

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz / TUES - Tom Conway; WED - ”SLAM” Featuring David Choy

Masquerade Night - Live DJ, 10 pm No Cover

MON - Happy Hour / TUES - 1/2 Off Sushi & House Music 10 pm / WED - Industry Night

Crazy Fingers 10pm

One Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua - 669-6200

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

The Summer Bash Bikini Contest & Bike Show

Live Music 10 pm ; No Cover Raj Shaggai 6-9pm

WED - Family Night w/ Roving Magician 10pm-12am

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm - 2am; No Cover

X-mas in July Party 9pm - 2am; $10

DJ Calcul8 9pm - 2am; $10

Closed

MON, TUES & WED -Closed

Jesse Tanone and Others 9pm, No Cover

Bad Kitty 9:30 pm; No Cover

Ladies Night All Access DJs

Karaoke

MON- Karaoke TUES- Thirsty Tuesdays WED- Karaoke

Karaoke No Cover; 8pm

MON - WED - Dat Guyz; No Cover

6-9:30 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Brooks Maguire 6:30-9 p.m. Ha’iku Town Center, 810 Kokomo Rd., Ha’iku, 808-575-2629.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Wed, Desmond Yap 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Sun, Miles Ahead Duo 8-11 a.m.; Daily, Solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30 p.m.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Sun, Randall 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Sun, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Tue, Open-Mic 7-11 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-9999.

Napili Kai Beach Resort - 5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., 808-669-6271.

SPICE AND RICE - Thu, The “Trouble Makers” 7-10 p.m. 824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-2770.

RESORT SHOWS

UMALU - Daily (except Wed), Live Music 7-9 p.m.; Thu, Off Tomorrow 6-9 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6 p.m.; Daily (except Wed), Live Music 4-6 p.m.

OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-9:30 p.m.

FOUR SEASONS RESORT - Daily, Tourch Lighting Ceremony 5:30 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort - 2780 Kekaa Dr., 808-661-3611.

LOOKING FOR

ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Live Hawaiian Music 6-8 p.m.; Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Live Hawaiian Music 6-8 p.m.

More Listings are on mauitime.com

Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0011.

KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” Kanehele Room 4:30-7:30 p.m.

TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Show 6:30-7 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Leo Kane 6-9 p.m.; Thu, Daniel Palakiko 6-9 p.m.; Every Sun & Mon, Kealaoka’ (Jason Fundang) 6-9 p.m.; Daily, Music by Lanui 6-9 p.m.

■

FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 808-669-6200.

SOMETHING?

Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 808-661-2000.

Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-840-8402.

POLO BEACH GRILLE & BAR - Daily, Live Music 4-5:30 p.m.

RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA - Daily, The Lounge.

Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa - 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-661-1234.

SOUTH MAUI

NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Thu, Kincaid Basques and Albert Kaiana 6:30-9 p.m.; Sun, Andrew Kaina 7-9 p.m.; Sat, Coelho Morrison 7-9 p.m.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, Live entertainment 8-12 p.m.

WEST MAUI

Kepa 6-9 p.m.; Tue, Steve Sargenti 6-9 p.m.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0031.

LAGOON BAR - Daily, Cliff Diving Ceremony 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Live Music 6-9 p.m.

Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 808-661-0088.

SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5 p.m.; Daily, Ride the Sugar Cane Train 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808874-8000.

LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Tue, Jazz Music 8-10:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Wed, Thu & Sat, Contemporary Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Fri, Jazz Music 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Hawaiian Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Daily, Hula Dancers 5:30-6:30 p.m.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa - 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-875-1234.

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Wed, Live Hawaiian Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

GRAND DINING ROOM - Sun, Live Hawaiian Music and Hula Performances 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 808-875-5888.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Sun, Live Music 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 808-891-6770.

THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Wed, Marti Kluth 6:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Jamie Lawerence and friends 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 808-667-6244.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-879-1922.

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Mon-Sat, Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5 p.m.

KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Dancing 6:30-9 p.m.

Westin Maui Resort & Spa - 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-667-2525.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

ONO BAR & GRILL - Sun, Raz Shaggai 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Brian Haia 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.; Wed, Scott Baird Duo with James DeBose 6-9 p.m.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 808667-1200.

TROPICA - Sun, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, Benny Uyetake 6-9 p.m.; Every Mon & Sat, Mitch

MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, Live Music 9-11 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 808-248-8211.

HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Fri, Hula dancing 7-8 p.m.

PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Sun, Wed, Thu & Sat, Live music 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Fri, Live music 6-9 p.m.

July 15, 2010 27

THURSDAY 15 WAVETRAIN

Kula Kid

DIRTY,MODERN,ELECTRO FUNK MAUIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BEST LIVE BAND 10pm-CLOSE / $5

Little Lost Dog

FRIDAY 16 SELECTAH STATUS SOUND CREW FEAT: ADAMON SELECTAH, RAMBO OF JUDAH, DIGIDELZ FEAT: BENGALI, KOKOMON, KOALOPES, SPENCE JAH, KING DAVID 10pm-CLOSE / $10

SATURDAY 17

DJ DRUM ADDICT 10pm-CLOSE / FREE

TUESDAY 20

TACO TUESDAY $2.50 TACOS, $3 MEXICAN BEERS 5pm-10pm DANYELL ALANA & FRIENDS FUNKY ISLAND SOUL

10pm-CLOSE / $5

WEDNESDAY 21 RACK EM UP WEDNESDAY 8pm-CLOSE /FREE FREE POOL

to the

Mos Def Concert

Friday, July 23rd @ Maui Theatre

Click on Mos Def Ticket Contest at MauiTime.com or Mauivents.com to enter CHARLEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RESTAURANT 142 HANA HWY. PAIA Reservations & Info

808-579-8085

3D OSSTT MO IS ALLM IS A

HERE!

THROWDOWNS

APPROVED!

28 July 15, 2010

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR COPY NEXT WEEK!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I may be talking about something that does not exist. Therefore I am free to say everything and nothing. I, in my stories and novels, often write about counterfeit worldsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;semi-real worlds that are often inhabited by just one person; while meantime, the other characters remain in their own world throughout, or are somehow drawn into one of the peculiar onesâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;?

- Phillip K. Dick

F

or the last few weeks, a little lost dog has been roaming Wailukuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s streets.

He began with a collar and some polish to his coat, but in recent days heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dirtied from white to mottled taupe, looking rather worse for wear.

Seeing as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m what many might call â&#x20AC;&#x153;crazy,â&#x20AC;? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m utterly compelled to rescue himâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;though to no avail. Many moonlit hours and Dollar Menu McDoubles have been spent in a vain effort to lure the pup into my car (not as creepy as it sounds), the backseat of which has been prepared with a sturdy box lined with blankets. But the buggah is intent on remaining rogue; whilereadilyacceptingchunksofcheeseburgers chucked in his direction, he runs away from me wild-eyed as if I were the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest vacuum. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wait, little doggy!â&#x20AC;? I yell, as I chase after him across Main, Market, Vineyard, Church, the State Building lawn and Wells. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just want to feed you and ďŹ nd you a good home!â&#x20AC;?

To this he snorts and hurries off even faster.

Yet day after day and night after night, I keep seeing him. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be bumbling around town, thinking to myself, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hmm. I wonder what happened to that little dogâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? and there heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be!

Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll trot two steps toward meâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;then freeze. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll stare at each other for a moment or two, but as soon as I make a move, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s off and running.

R

eďŹ&#x201A;ecting on my frustration, I realized heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the ďŹ rst little white dog Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come upon.

Most of the others I successfully â&#x20AC;&#x153;rescued,â&#x20AC;? with a one-way trip to the Maui Humane Society. In fact, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve almost got an eerie knack for it. Like, I could start a (terrible) TV show thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s part ASPCA, part Pet Psychicâ&#x20AC;Ś My history being thusâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and my latest target being such an enigmaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I began wondering if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a ďŹ gment of my imagination. I mean, why not?

Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like Fight Club: â&#x20AC;&#x153;When you have insomnia, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never really

asleep, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never really awake.â&#x20AC;?

I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t gotten much sleep this last, oh, year, so perhaps that little dog is my Tyler Durden.

I guess that wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t say much about me. A dirty mutt wandering Wailuku is a few rungs down from an extremist revolutionary with Brad Pittâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body. But truthfully, it wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be any disappointment.

Heck, if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to hallucinate some sort of soul-manifest, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m glad itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a cuteâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;albeit scruffyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;little dog.

Could be worse, right? Like a feral cat.

O

K. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m reasonably sure the stray dog isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just in my head.

Probably. I hope. But even if he is, there are a lot of others that are very real. Which is bad news, because my biggest canine-catching conspirators, the Maui Humane Society, have suffered massive cutbacks. â&#x20AC;&#x153;With an estimated budget cut of almost $160,000 from the County contract for the coming ďŹ scal year (in addition to a cut of over $190,000 the year prior), we simply cannot support our current level of services,â&#x20AC;? says MHS CEO Jocelyn Bouchard in a recent press release. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Deciding what services to eliminate or reduce has been a very difďŹ cult decision for usâ&#x20AC;Ś but we want to maintain the programs and services that are most essential to the care and protection of live pet animals.â&#x20AC;?

As of July 1, MHS can no longer accept calls regarding wildlife (see DLNR), or provide on-call services, including â&#x20AC;&#x153;after hoursâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;emergencyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;assistanceâ&#x20AC;?(seeMPD).

So even if I caught the darned thing, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have to leave him in the drop-off kennel outside MHSâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whereas in all my rescue missions past, someone would meet me to assist and receive the animal.

Without the Humane Societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help, and with but my lonely efforts, my wayward friend could become a permanent wanderer. Maybe heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll ďŹ nd another little lost dog, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll breed a vagabond pack thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll mush around the County Building in search of cheeseburger prey. â&#x2013; Anu Yagi welcomes comments, and will be hanging out at mauifeed.com/kulakid.

You can also follow her on Twitter at @ anuheayagi To share or save this article, type: mt.hy. pr/1404k

by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscopes

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Cancers, despite your sensitivity and intuition, are occasionally terrible at compromise. You get into this all-or-nothing, with-me-or-against-me mentality and don’t give anyone room to maneuver. Things in life are rarely as stark black and white as they sometimes are in your heart. This leads to heartache for you and those you’re close to. One of your biggest challenges in life is trying to find a way past this uncooperative state of mind, to live more in the gray areas of human emotion. This week it should be more obvious than ever that clinging to absolutes can only lead to pain; aim for the more subtle (and accurate) spaces in between.

Quizunderstood answers 1. Macadamia nuts (20 grams saturated fat per 200 grams),

SIGN

AGE LANGU

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Playing dirty isn’t your style. Sure, you’re pretty good at it when you have to be, but sinking to that level doesn’t suit you, and won’t serve you well in the long run. You’re at your best when you can simply and openly be who you are, uncensored and unlimited. That’s exactly what you should strive for right now.

Strip away the layers of deception—especially self-deception (well-intentioned as it might be)—and bring your full self to the situation. This may frighten or intimidate some, and turn off others, but those who you most seek to impress will be exactly that—impressed.

Big Mac (12 grams saturated fat) 2. Cavaquinho; Portugal 3. The goddess of canoe builders 4. Adolph Claus Spreckels; California

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You know how to be manipulative at times; that should, in theory, make you more immune to others’ attempts to influence or control you. However, much of the time you fall for that shit anyway, because you prefer to extend trust, or you’re not cynical enough to try to see through their machinations. Shed those illusions, pronto, and see the situation for what it is. Everyone has an agenda, and even if it’s not particularly nefarious, it’s still probably not in your best interest. Ultimately, you need to do what’s best for you—and the first step, of course, is making sure you clearly see exactly what that is.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) If you went back to Medieval times with a laptop or even an ipod, people would likely believe you had magical powers (while the batteries lasted). That stuff would be so far beyond what they knew that they’d have trouble reaching any other conclusion. Sometimes when things are so far from our understanding, we use preposterous reasoning to explain them. That might be what’s happening here.

In order to rein in a situation that’s very close to spiraling out of control, you’ll need to impose some sanity upon it—which begins with offering comprehensible explanations for the things people just don’t understand. Once they’re clued in, a reasonable discussion will be possible—but not until then.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) When you’re extremely close with someone, those bonds of empathy can sometimes feel rather restrictive. Feelings of sympathy and love occasionally slip over into resentment. It’s better to loosen the ties a little and still remain quite intimate, than to keep them as tight as they have been until you feel choked and trapped and can only think in terms of escape. Look at the big picture here, and consider everyone’s long-term happiness. While a little more distance now might make some people sad, it’s still far better than a yawning chasm a little further down the line. Wouldn’t you agree?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) When something happens that’s so comically over-the-top, I can understand how you’d be tempted to respond in kind, with an equally exaggerated reaction. However, as hilarious (and, in some ways, appropriate) as that might be in the moment, it will just escalate the situation and cause problems that could—given the melodramatic nature of this particular scenario—easily spiral out of control. You need to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground right now. Keep breathing, stay calm, and make it your priority, when tempers start running high, to pull them swiftly and compassionately right back to earth.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Demanding someone change something fundamental about who they are isn’t really where you want to go right now. However, if all you wish to modify is a small behavior—something they do—it’s certainly possible, and you should go for it if a failure to change would be a deal-breaker. Why not give them the chance? Make sure it’s a proper chance, though. Altering ingrained habits takes time and practice and involves plenty of slips. One-strike-and-you’re-out isn’t fair to anyone. Be firm, consistent, and compassionate. Ultimately, there’s a line no one should cross—but make sure they have a little breathing room to slip up without falling right over it the first time they stumble.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Obviously, the people you know and are close to are the ones you should rely on for most of your needs.

However, there are certain things that would, ironically, be better fulfilled by someone who’s essentially a stranger to you. It might be easier to talk to someone with whom you have nothing at stake, or explore an interest that no one in your inner circle shares. This week, look outside your familiar bubble for new people, ideas, and opportunities that are simply not available there. That doesn’t mean you need to leave everything you know behind—but stepping away from it for a day would be very enlightening and, best of all, fun.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) You may not love everything about who you are right now, but you must nevertheless embrace and acknowledge it. Without that thorough self-acceptance, change and growth will probably be impossible. You’ve been overly negative and self-critical lately. It’s hardly fair. That doesn’t mean you need to give yourself carte blanche or cease all efforts to improve, expand, or evolve. However, you do need to cut yourself a little slack, and be at least as compassionate, nonjudgmental, and gentle with yourself as you are with those around you. You deserve that (and more, but start with that).

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) I’m surprised I need to remind you, yet here we are: Stand up for what’s right. This may not seem like “your battle,” but remember it’s not just black people who should oppose racism, or gay people homophobia—every principled, honorable, and compassionate human being should battle these things. In this case, that means you should throw in with the right side, even if it’s not necessarily the “smartest” move for you personally. That’s the burden of having a moral compass—you have a responsibility to heed and act upon it. Don’t let fear or petty rationalization keep you from that.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) I don’t think you should rethink who your friends are; however, you should open your mind to who might potentially be a friend. You’ve needlessly limited yourself using fairly arbitrary standards. That’s narrowed your horizons considerably. Wouldn’t you agree that your life would be richer and more interesting if you had a circle of friends that weren’t all in pretty much the same situation and place in life? This week, branch out a bit. It’s not necessarily easy throwing yourself into a new situation and trying to make friends from scratch, but if you’re persistent and open-minded you shouldn’t have too much trouble.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Listen to your body. Sometimes it knows what’s better for you than your brain, which is stuck behind distorting filters, and hung up on habits and preconceived notions. It might be telling you to slow down, or that you’re attracted to someone who’s not “your type” (as you imagined it), or any number of other messages that are pretty clear, once you decide to pay attention to them. This week your mission is to do exactly that: figure out what your body has to tell you, why it may be in conflict with your heart or mind, and what you ought to do about it.

July 15, 2010 29

ClassiďŹ ed

Classified Adult Services GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad# 4003 MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-5216696. Ad#4288 CLOUD 9 HEAVEN You will be taken to new levels of erotic and sensual pleasure and intimacy. Tantra training. Discounts available ... call to inquire!

Call now: Athena 808-264-9922 TROPICAL TOUCH 590-1816

Local Ads

Angel on Maui Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

870-1979

Mountain Butterfly Heartfelt, Loving Touch For Body & Spirit

269-0453 Convenient Upcountry Location

FREE TO TRY! HOT TALK 1-866-601-7781; Naughty Local Girls! Try For Free! 1-877-433-0927; Try For Free! 100â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Of Local Women!

1-866-517-6011; Live Sexy Talk 1-877-602-7970 18+ (AAN CAN) GAYLIVE NETWORK: Call. Talk. Hookup. Fast. Easy.

Local. Gay, Str8, Curious and Bi men in hundreds of cities across America. 1-877-359-1083 FREE Premium trial use promo code: NEWS9 (AAN CAN)

Sexy & Sweet

TLC

Miss Bliss M 250-1295

TROPICAL BEAUTIES

BACHELOR PARTIES MODELS FOR ANY OCCASION

633-6102 THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS!

Automotive Services CHRYSLER EXPERTS! BMW / MINI â&#x20AC;˘ VOLVO MERCEDES â&#x20AC;˘ VW / AUDI SERVICE â&#x20AC;˘ PARTS â&#x20AC;˘ ACCESSORIES

CLASSIFIEDS

WORK! CALL TO FIND OUT HOW THEY CAN INCREASE YOUR TRAFFIC!

10% DISCOUNT FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE â&#x20AC;˘ Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls â&#x20AC;˘ Towing â&#x20AC;˘ Extended Warranty Service â&#x20AC;˘ Custom & Performance Products & Installation â&#x20AC;˘ Collision Repair â&#x20AC;˘ Restorations â&#x20AC;˘ Detailing â&#x20AC;˘ Tires â&#x20AC;˘ Wheels â&#x20AC;˘ Mufflers â&#x20AC;˘ Batteries â&#x20AC;˘ Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

DIESEL â&#x20AC;˘ BIODIESEL â&#x20AC;˘ HYBRIDS (#RD 3881)

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE

878-2698

JEWELRY t DIAMONDS WATCHES t COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

CALL TO FIND OUT HOW THEY CAN INCREASE

YOUR TRAFFIC!

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS!

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA Classes & Instruction HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, Affordable & Accredited FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-888-532-6546 Ext. 97 http:// www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)

TATTOO Â&#x2026; 1JFSDJOHT Â&#x2026; $VTUPN "SU Â&#x2026; -BTFS 5BUUPP 3FNPWBM

244-4663 -PXFS .BJO 4U

8BJMVLVÂľT 0OMZ 5BUUPP 4IPQ UBUUPP DPN

GAIN NATIONAL EXPOSURE Reach over 5 million young, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202-289-8484. This is not a job offer. (AAN CAN) DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH IS OFFERING FREE HIV TESTING & COUNSELING (STD/HEP C as well). Mon: Kihei Community Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; 11-2 pm Tues: Wailuku Health Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; all day Wed: *Paia Community Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; 12-3 pm ( 1st, 3rd, (5th)week): *Haiku Community Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;12-3pm (2nd, 4th week); Thur: *Lahaina Comprehensive Health Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;9-12pm; Fri: (non-furlough Fridays) Wailuku Health Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;appt. *=starting 4/1/10; Results in 2 weeks. For more info CALL 984-2129.

REAL ESTATE For Sale PUUONE HALE ALIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;I CONDO $185,500. 1 bed, 1 bath condo.

Fully refurbished, new appliances, granite countertops & oak cabinetry. Ocean, mountain & harbor views. Easy to show. Jeff GrifďŹ n 280-3442. Kamaaina Properties Inc., 2008 Main Street Wailuku.

DISTRESS SALE Wailea Fairway Villas X-202.

2bd/2ba on the 16th green of the Wailea Blue Course. $509k. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC KAI MALU AT WAILEA 21B 3 bd/2.5 ba, 1796 sq ft luxury condo. Bargain price $839k. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222

Employment

Musical Instruction

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN)

VOICE CLASSES: GRAMMY WINNING METHOD! The Method of Legends, Get World Class Results! Lani Starr, Ph.D. / Award Winning Vocalist Call: 878-8888, em: music@lanistarr.com, www.lanistarr.com

KULA TROPHY PROPERTY 6 acres of magniďŹ cent property with unobstructed bi-coastal views, County water, two horse pastures, and a 1096 sq ft dwelling. Seller paid $1.475M and will sacriďŹ ce for $822k. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

EARN $75 - $200 HOUR Media Makeup Artist Training.

Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at http://www.

AwardMakeUpSchool.com 310364-0665 (AAN CAN)

Musicians Available

Rooms for Rent

GOVERNMENT JOBS Earn $12 to $48 / hr. Full BeneďŹ ts, Paid Training. Health Care, Admin/Clerical, Construction, Law Enforcement, Finance, Public Relations, Park Service & More.

Call 7 days. 1-800-858-0701

Health PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abbyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s One True Gift Adoptions 866-4136293 (AAN CAN)

30 July 15, 2010

DATING SERVICE Long-Term/Short-Term Relationships, FREE-2-TRY! 1-877-7220087 Exchange/Browse Personal Messages 1-866-362-1311. Live adult casual conversations 1-877599-8753 Meet on chat-lines. Local Singles 1-888-869-0491 (18+) New!! Talk Live!! 1-866-362-1311 (AAN CAN)

3135 Lower Kula Road â&#x20AC;˘ Behind Kula Hardware

$BUY & SELL$

WORK!

Miscellaneous

AMERICAN â&#x20AC;˘ ASIAN â&#x20AC;˘ CARS â&#x20AC;˘ SUVS â&#x20AC;˘ TRUCKS

Buy & Sell

CLASSIFIEDS

SAVE $500! VIAGRA! 40 Pills $99.00 Satisfaction Guaranteed!!! Open Saturday! Credit Card required.www.newhealthyman.com 800-818-6523 (AAN CAN)

ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND R&B BAND 3 HOURS // $600

CONTACT JOSH @ drumsonmaui@mac.com

Notices ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

Apartments for Rent COME JOIN MRS. ROGERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE WE WANT YOU TO BE OUR NEIGHBOR! Mrs. Rogerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neighborhood welcomes you and your pets! Our 2 bedrooms start as low as $1399!

Mrs. Rogers has a great â&#x20AC;&#x153;Preferred Employerâ&#x20AC;? special if you work for the following employers: All Hotels, School District, Police & Fire Department, Local Banks, and select Restaurants! For more information on how to get the best deal for your new apartment home, please contact Mrs. Rogerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or any member of her team today!! 808-665-0276

Classified

Mind, Body & Spirit Houses for Rent ALL AREAS HOUSES FOR RENT Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps.

Advertise your rental home for FREE! Visit: http://www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN)

Vacation Rentals CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Services MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Now also: glossy paper & office paper recycling offered. Home Pickup; a convenience for $25.15/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

Yokis

s Custom Dresses

Recycling DONATE good, clean, reusable items through the ALOHA SHARES NETWORK to local non-profits.

Tax receipts provided by nonprofits. No clothing/ shoes. A Maui Recycling Group Project 268-4380. www.alohashares.org PLASTIC CARRY OUT BAGS Will be “Officially Retired” from the County of Maui on 1/11/11 Start using reusable bags NOW! www.mauicounty.gov/recycle HOME COMPOSTING Classes sponsored by County of Maui and Sharing Aloha, taught

by Wilma of Joy of Worms, held monthly. Registration required.

573-3911.www.joyofworms.com PROPANE TANKS 20 lb. and under can be recycled for FREE at Airgas/Gaspro in Kahului, 877-0056. Sponsored

by County of Maui, SOS Metals Island Recycling & Airgas/Gaspro REDUCE YOUR FOOTPRINT! Recycle Athletic Shoes at most local fitness centers (used for playground surfaces.) Sponsored by County of Maui, and participating centers. Call the Sneaker Hotline, 573-3040 for nearest location.

RESIDENTIAL METALS Recycle many metal items!

Central Maui Landfill; Mon-Sat 6-3 Please kokua: follow posted instructions, No items w/ fluids are allowed. Call Recycle Maui Hotline 270-7880 NEW! BATTERY RECYCLING! Recycle nicad & alkaline household batteries on Maui, Molokai & Lanai at 15 locations. Call Community Work Day 877-2524, or go to www.mauicounty.gov/recycle HABITAT RESTORE Great deals! Discounted prices on fantastic reusable building materials, appliances and more! M-S 9-4, Habitat for Humanity, 986-8050.

RECYCLE PHONE BOOKS! For drop off locations call 8749095 or go to www.mauicounty. gov/recycle Sponsored by EZToUseIslandPages (the little blue book)

& Gowns

s #USTOM "RIDAL Gowns s ,INGERIE s 'OWN Alterations

572-5884

yokimauilingerie@hotmail.com

CLASSIFIEDS

WORK! CALL TO FIND OUT HOW THEY CAN INCREASE YOUR TRAFFIC!

HO’OMALUHIA THERAPEUTIC BODYWORK If you are experiencing neck discomfort, lower back pain, or looking for ultimate relaxation, I can help you become a healthier you. I offer a variety of therapeutic techniques. Please visit my website at www.hoomaluhia.com for additional information. You can schedule a relaxing and healing session at my Pukalani studio by calling 280-8557. Aloha, Richard SEX LIFE ON HOLD? Sex therapist with 25+ yrs. exp. solves communication problems and all sex & relationship concerns.

Private & Confidential Phone Sessions Worldwide FREE PHONE CONSULTATION Call Dr. Bouchard 891-0952 www.sexhappiness.com THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE Specializing in injury recovery, stress relief and preventative care.

Deep tissue, sports massage, reflexology, craniosacral and energy healing. Alison Miller, LMT #5132. www.mauimassagetherapy.com Call now for appointment 808-269-2324

HAWAIIAN HANDS THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE & BODY WORK Swedish, Lomi, Therapeutic D.T., Reflexology. $50/hr by appointment only in Kihei. Call 205-8212.

Gay friendly. MAT# 8972 FIND MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New June/ July Maui Vision Magazine out now! Call 669-9091 for info.

WAKE UP AND ROAR! Partner Stretching & Devotional Personal Training. Chris, 280-5192 LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable Makawao location by a Certified LMT $60/hr. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984

50% OFF! RED DOT SALE

s '//2). (!43 s +!6)/ s (!2$ 4!), s (!.$ "!'3 s .))(!5 *%7%,29 s ',!33 !##%33/2)%3

COUNSELING, HYPNOSIS, EMDR Lose weight, stop smoking, release anxiety/depression, change your relationship. “I experience results in each session” (A. Miller). Insurance accepted. 30 years exp. Maribeth Theisen LCSW, www.MauiTransformations.com. 269-2923.

TANTRA LOVING BODYWORK Inanna 264-6325

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS!

MAUI’S BEST BOUTIQUE!

*HEALING HANDS M4M* Treat yourself to a full-body M4M combination nurturing & therapeutic bodywork session. In-calls & out-calls available. Call 242-1122.

Alice In Hulaland

Green Lotus

¦ Cystals ¦ Minerals ¦

¦ Asian Art ¦ Jewelry ¦

"ALDWIN !VE 0AIA

A Spa Wailuku ... $55/HR KAMA’AINA SPECIAL

I'ao Acupuncture & Spa

MASSAGE SPECIAL! with warm Jade stone $55/60min Book an appointment

249.8280

Open 10am - 5pm Monday - Saturday

244.2300

1816 Mill Street ¦ Wailuku

CLASSIFIEDS

WORK! CALL TO FIND OUT HOW THEY CAN INCREASE YOUR TRAFFIC!

wailuku

Massage, Bodywork, Facials & Waxing

244-4444

1325 Lower Main Street, Ste. 107 MAT #11294, #11601, #11363

SpaSessions Hot Tub/Bodywork Nurturing & Pampering

Krystal - 298-0457 Upcountry Area

ɑȐȐȽ PȨ

Authentic THAI Bodywork s

Ancient Techniques s Herbs s Balms

Experience Thailand’s Living Treasure!

$45 for 1 hour!

Call NOM in 0UKALANI s

ɄɤɜȨɍɤȐ ѥ 4ǸɕɕǸȝȐ

DXjjX^\ 8ZlgleZkli\ =XZ`Xcj Waxing JgX GXZbX^\j Le`hl\ >`]kj >`]k :\ik`]`ZXk\j 8mX`cXYc\

EFN 8::<GK@E> ?<8CK? @EJLI8E:< HlXc`kp 8]]fi[XYc\ Ki\Xkd\ekj +' E% DXib\k Jk% NX`clbl )+)$/.// DfeÆJle ('$- Fg\e k`c . fe K_lij =i` www.greentimaui.com

CLASSIFIEDS WORK! CALL TO FIND OUT HOW THEY CAN INCREASE YOUR TRAFFIC!

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS! July 15, 2010 31

Under the Stars, in the new Maui Moon Theatre

Free Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ticket with each regular-price adult admission

Call (808) 667-4540 or visit CirquePolynesia.com for reservations.

Limited time offer. Children ages 12 & under. VIP or Premier show only admission.

Cannot be combined with other discounts, offers or gift certificates.

M A U Iâ&#x201E;˘

AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible ďŹ&#x201A;ight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2010. For reservations call 877-7005

Liqueur

WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $539k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

Â?

Â?

Â?

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Okolehao

ALICE IN HULALAND! Now with twice the room and twice the inventory!

Check out the fantastic selection of name brand designer fashions including Kavio, Hard Tail, Tresicks and Synergy. Also Goorin hats and Niihau Jewelry.

Located at 19 Baldwin Avenue in Paia.

MAUI TATTOO COMPANY Traditional, Custom, Polynesian, Cover-Ups, Portraits & Permanent Makeup. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., under Lu Luâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. 874-0034

MAUI DETOX & WEIGHT LOSS CENTER NOW CELEBRATING ONE YEAR ON MAUI! Try your First class free-(new students, with this ad, Hawaii ID only) Try Bikram Hot Yoga, taught

by Mary Grace, certiďŹ ed by Bikram in 2000.

Or Kick your own butt with Kickboxing taught

by World Champion Kickboxer! Nutritional Counseling, Juicing & private training for All Levels, All Ages, Any Body, Any Time. Effective workouts that work. Try 30 Classes in 30 days & your next membership is HALF PRICE! (and your waist might become half the size) Maui Hot Yoga & Kickboxing, 115 East Lipoa st #202, Kihei, 808-463-8811; www.mauihotyoga.com

Available at most Maui spirits retailers, including Hawaii Liquor Superstore, Aloha Discount Liquors, Foodland, Wine Corner & Whalers General Stores

www.mauirum.biz

Call 808.283.3260 or visit mauitime.com for complete details.

42 ft. Custom Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is

FREE

and we make a $300 donation to a Maui charity

(808) 667-2774

The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

(across from Honokawai Beach Park)

L E A R N

Detox Kits Drug Tests Blunt Wraps Digital Scales Hookas Shisha 80+ Flavors t tr ee

iS

Ohuka

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS! FOR AS LITTLE AS

X

$115/WEEK

420

Huku Lii Pl

Yellow Seed Bamboo

Piilani Hwy

www.HawaiianHolySmokes.com y ,/#!4%$ AT /HUKAI Â&#x201E; +IHEI

808Â&#x201E;879Â&#x201E;2826

T H R U

878-2698

!-%2)#!. s !3)!. s #!23 s 3563 s 425#+3

Stop Wishinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; & Go Fishinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

808.665.0276 3626 L. Honoapiilani Rd

I OR

www.badassmaui.com

)3,!.$ 7)$% 3%26)#%

SPORTFISHING

$699 $300 Deposit $799 $400 Deposit $1,099 $500 Deposit

AL

3636 LOWER HONOAPIILANI RD.

s 3CHEDULED -AINTENANCE TO -AJOR /VERHAULS s 4OWING s %XTENDED 7ARRANTY 3ERVICE s #USTOM 0ERFORMANCE 0RODUCTS )NSTALLATION s #OLLISION 2EPAIR s 2ESTORATIONS s $ETAILING s 4IRES s 7HEELS s -UFFLERS s "ATTERIES s !IR #ONDITIONING #OMPUTER %LECTRONIC $IAGNOSTICS

,OWER +ULA 2OAD s "EHIND +ULA (ARDWARE

As Low As:

N GI

)BXBJJBO $PGGFFT t 4IJSUT .VHT t )BUT & NPSF

10% DISCOUNT

&2%% -).) $%4!), 7)4( ,!2'% 3%26)#%

THE BACKPAGE

* These are subject to change

U U U U U U

3%26)#% s 0!243 s !##%33/2)%3

2$

Â&#x2021; Pet )rieQdO\ Â&#x2021; -r. 2O\mSiF PooO SSD Â&#x2021; A C¡s iQ eYer\ DSDrtmeQt Â&#x2021; AssiJQed PDrNiQJ Â&#x2021; )Oe[iEOe LeDse Terms Â&#x2021; 2FeDQ 9iews

Studios 1 Bedroom 2 Bedrooms

"-7 / -).) s 6/,6/ -%2#%$%3 s 67 !5$)

$)%3%, s ")/$)%3%, s (9"2)$3

SUNSET TERRACE APARTMENTS Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only traditional distilled spirit.

Now available after decades of silence.

CHRYSLER EXPERTS!

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

P L A Y

Now Enrolling 4 Year Olds Full Time New School Hours: 7:15am - 5pm

808-244-2112

1050 Lower Main St., Wailuku HI WWW.LITTLEEXPLORERSMAUI.COM

CALL BRAD AT 283-3260 OR TOMMY AT 283-0512 TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT