16.48 Triumph for the Humpbacks? May 16, 2013, Volume 16, Issue 48, MauiTime

May 16, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 48 ✚ FREE

Best of Maui

Ballot Page

15

Triumph for the Humpbacks?

POINT AGAIN

GET YOUR DRINK ON

PG.13

MUD

FILM PG.20

MALE LABOR PAINS

PG.5

REVIEW

LIPOA

SAVED

PLUS

Why a Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council member wants the whales removed from the endangered species list. PG.10

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MAY 16, 2013

Contents

VOLUME 16 THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What’s your favorite drink name?

ISSUE 48

✚

COVER: May 16, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 48 ✚ FREE

Best of

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Feckin Whiskey & Coke), Jenny Greene (Obi-Wine Kenobi) Contributors: Axel Beers, Jenn Brown, Toni Colombo (Lindsay Lohan), Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Gerlach (Smurf Fart), Lauren Hecker, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Purple Drank Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Flaming Busload of Nuns Flying off a Cliff and then Eaten by Rats Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Surfer on Acid Proofreader: Dina Wilson B-52 Coffee

PLUS

LIPOA

PG.5

POINT AGAIN

5 10 13 15 19 20 21 22 23 28 29 31

GET YOUR DRINK ON

PG.13

MUD FILM PG.20

MALE LABOR PAINS

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Harvey Wallbanger

Triumph for the Humpbacks?

Image courtesy of the Pacific Whale Foundation.

Cover design by Darris Hurst

Why a Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council member wants the whales removed from the endangered species list. PG.10

REVIEW

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

Ballot Page

15

Triumph for the Humpbacks?

SAVED

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Aviation

Maui

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY EAT & DRINK BEST OF MAUI BALLOT THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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News & Views

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1. According to a May 12 Maui News story, Speaker of the state House of Representatives, a Democrat from Wailuku, once considered quitting the Legislature. When did Souki wish to quit?

A. The beginning of the last term, when Souki wasn’t elected Speaker.

B. When Souki lost the speakership in 1998.

C. During this legislative session when the marijuana bill he introduced died in committee.

D. When his first term of office ended in 1982.

E. In 2009, when Hawaii Superferry–which he long supported–went out of business.

In 2012, the unemployment rate for the state of Hawaii stood at 5.8 percent. What, according to a May 13 Pacific Business News blog post on a new report by the state Department of Business, Economic Development and Tourism, should the unemployment rate for the state be in 2013?

A. 6.2 percent.

B. 5.8 percent.

C. 5.4 percent.

D. 5.1 percent.

E. 4.8 percent.

See answers, page 29

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MAY 16, 2013

News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

PHOTO BY FOREST & KIM STARR - WIKIMEDIA

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Lipoa Point

LIPOA POINT SAVED (AGAIN)!

Looks like Maui County really scored during the recent state legislative session. “Maui legislators secured almost $300 million in Capital Improvement Project (CIP) funding for various projects across the island,” stated a May 10, 2013 press release from the state House of Representatives's media office.

“The largest single item by far was $130 million over the next two years for construction of the new Kihei High School. Construction is expected to begin in 2015, and the full funding will allow bidding on the whole project, saving the State millions of dollars.”

For Kihei residents, who have been calling for such a school for the last three decades, this is good news indeed. Especially given all the land development that’s been taking place in South Maui (and the many, many construction projects slated to happen), it’s a wonder this wasn’t approved earlier.

And there are all sorts of other goodies in the budget, too. Because, honestly, that’s why we elect legislators, right? So they can send us stuff, which we can either pay for immediately with higher taxes or cuts in other current spending (boo!) or by floating millions or billions of dollars worth of bonds, which future generations of Kihei High graduates will have to pay for (yay!).

Anyway, according to the House press release the Legislature also approved $50 million for land acquisition around Kahului Airport (for more commercial development!), $10 million for a new airport access road there, $9 million for “the design and construction of a new pipeline system for upcountry Maui watershed,” $8 million for “the acquisition of land, and design and construction of a state agricultural park in upcountry Maui” and $3.6 million for “the acquisition of land to develop a new two-lane highway from Kihei to Upcountry Maui.”

And, of course, Honolua preservationists will be happy because (once again), Lipoa Point has been saved! While this is very good news, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Remember: a year ago the County of Maui considered Li-

poa Point preserved land. It was free and clear, as the landowner (that would be the Maui Land & Pineapple Co.) never tired of proclaiming in public.

But then, in August st 2012, the company suddenly realized that at it couldn’t pay for its own pensioners. So company officials went to the far too sympathetic thetic Maui County Council and convinced ced enough of them to vote to take the land out of preservation. This necessitated the statee to come in and authorize a $20 million bond ond to buy the land.

Because, as we alll know, getting the state to pay for the preservation of land is far better than simply preserving it on your own.

MAUI NEWS WS BYLINE Y ON JUDGED MYSTERY E STORY JUDGE So it looks like Maui has lost a judge to criminal activity. On Thursday, May 9, Maui Family Court judge Desj d Mimi Des Jardins pleaded no contest to a single charge of tampering with a government record. The state Attorney General’s office originally charged her with 10 counts, but her plea deal brought it down

to one. In fact, DesJardins went out of her way not to fight the case, resigning back on April 23, the day the AG first filed a criminal complaint against her.

Even just the one charge was a serious matter. According to The Maui News’ May 10 story on the plea, back in February DesJardins deliberately wrote the wrong time on probable cause documents for defendants who’d been arrested and held for longer than 48 hours, which is a crime.

The defendants should have been released, but DesJardins signed and dated the documents as though she’d been given them before the 48-hour time period had lapsed.

There are two odd things about The Maui News coverage of the DesJardins matter. First, their May 10 story (and to a lesser extent, their earlier April 25 story on her resignation) are extremely sympathetic to DesJardins. For a paper that supposedly prides itself on “objective” reporting, the Mayy 10 storyy ggives supportive pp quotes from four separate attorneys (including DesJardins’ own lawyer) to just one source (the deputy AG who prosecuted the case) quoted

R IS P

BY CH PHOTO

E - WIKIM OTTE R

D IA

on her guilt.

Even stranger is that neither Maui News story on DesJardins carries a byline.

Though both stories are based entirely on the public record (the May 10 story largely just covers a sentencing hearing, which is open to the public), the paper chose not to identify the reporter(s) responsible for the story. Some publications (like this

Overheard “I know this isn’t a race, and though I don’t know any of the people behind us, I really, really want to beat them.”

-Guy in the Visitor Industry Charity Walk in Kahului, May 11

one) try to identify the authors of any and all stories. Others, like The Economist, give no bylines. Most publications pick one standard and they stick to it.

Bylines are useful because the let the reader know who did the work on any given story. While it’s reasonable to lift a byline in cases where a reporter’s life might be in danger from, say, a defendant just convicted of murder who swore vengeance on anyone associated with his case, nothing remotely like that happened here. And leaving off a reporter’s name because the association with that particular story might harm the reporter’s relationship with a source or sources isn’t generally considered to be a valid reason.

In any case, Maui News editor Lee Imada didn’t return an email asking for comment.

HEE APPARENTLY DISLIK DISLIKES ETHICS OFFICIA OFFICIALS AS MUCH AS RE REPORTERS Oh, and on May 9, Honolulu Civil Beatt po posted an in-depth look at how state Senator Clayton D-Kaneohe–who recently Hee, D-Ka warped a bill seeking to make permanent permane Hawaii’s media shield law l into perverse antireporter reporte junk and contributed more to destroying our state’s legal protecsta tions for journalists ti than anyone else in t the t Legislature–is also no n fan of state ethics laws law or Hawaii Ethics Commission execuCom tive director Les Kondo: d “A powerful state senator pow is blocking efforts to strengthen ef Hawaii’s ethics and campaign spending laws, state officials and nonprofit leaders say,” wrote Civil Beat reporter Nathan Eagle. “They point to Sen. Clayton Hee, chair of the Judiciary and Labor Committee, as the major roadblock to good government and political reform laws.”

Anyway, the Civil Beat story is quite long and detailed and, of course, nauseating. And if you’d like to know more about Hee’s experience with State of Hawaii ethics regulations, check out the killer May 21, 2011 blog post from investigative reporter Ian Lind (who, like MauiTime, is a source of free news and thus not an actual “news organization,” according to Hee’s now-dead shield law amendments) on how Hee wasn’t filling out mandatory ethical disclosure reports until Lind himself wrote about it. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MAY 16, 2013

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6

MAY 16, 2013

News & Views

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

PHOTO BY FOREST & KIM STARR - WIKIMEDIA

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Can an intern help?

HALEAKALA NATL. PARK LOOKING FOR NEW BOTANICAL INTERN

COUNTY OF MAUI WINS KOREAN FLOWER FESTIVAL BOOTH AWARD It’s always nice to read that news in South Korea isn’t completely dominated by the threat of nuclear war. Sometimes, news there concerns nothing more than delicate flowers.

As part of its effort to attract ever more visitors to our islands, the county and the Maui Visitors Bureau set up a booth at this year’s International Flower Festival in Goyang, a city located just north of Seoul in South Korea.

What’s more, a group of flower experts and members of the Goyang Flower Foundation awarded the county the Mayor’s Choice Award for Best Booth.

“Our halau and musicians performed twice daily on the main stage, and six to seven times each day within the booth through May 1st,” said county Office of Economic Development Director Teena Rasmussen in a May 10 news release. “[T]he Maui County booth was decorated with panoramic photos of Maui Nui, and filled with tropical flowers from Hana and Protea from upcountry Maui.”

Working on the booth were Rasmussen, floral designer Asa Ige, MVB officials Sherry Duong and Jeremiah Savage, a hula halau and ‘ukulele soloist Derick Sebastian. Staffers at the booth also handed out the county’s Korean language brochure “Maui’s Top 12,” describing a dozen popular things to do on the island.

Hawaiian Airlines, which would obviously welcome any increase in tourism to Maui, also chipped in by comping the flower shipment to Korea and providing someone to help run the booth, added the news release. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

STUDENT ART CONTEST FOR EV CHARGERS AT KA‘AHUMANU CENTER Not sure if you’ve noticed, but there are four new electric vehicle (EV) charging stations going in at the Queen Ka'ahumanu Center parking lot near the Ka'ahumanu Ave. entrance (fronting Koho, but much closer to the road).

The chargers, according to a recent news release from Nishikawa & Associates, which handles public relations for the Maui Economic Development Board (MEDB), are part of the new JUMPSmartMaui “demonstration project” that will use electric vehicles, smart grid tech and renewable energy: “Set to begin in July, JUMPSmartMaui is funded by Japan’s largest public research

PHOTO COURTESY COUNTY OF MAUI

Back in January, we reported that new research from the United States Geological Survey and UH Manoa was showing that climate change may, in fact, doom the beautiful but endangered silversword plants that are endemic to the highest elevations of Haleakala. News like this obviously concerns the good people at Haleakala National Park, who are conducting their own research on how climate change is affecting the rare plants. In fact, they need help to do it.

“Haleakala National Park and Hau‘oli Mau Loa Foundation have joined together to create a unique internship opportunity for a local college senior or recent college graduate,” wrote Kuhea Paracuelles, the park’s internship coordinator, in a May 10 news release. “The Climate Change Internship position will assist with research and public outreach on the topic of climate change impacts on silversword population viability.”

According to the news release, the new intern should have solid botanical knowledge. Their preferred candidate is a recent (within the past two years) graduate with a degree in botany, ecology, environmental science or a related field. They will take seniors who haven’t yet graduated, but they must be willing to work on the internship full-time.

“In addition to a strong background and interest in the natural sciences, the applicant must be be in very good physical condition, and capable of hiking at least 12 miles in a day at high elevations while carrying a 40 lb. pack,” Paracuelles added in the news release.

“The intern will receive scientific direction and training from Dr. Paul Krushelnycky, of the University of Hawai‘i at Manoa, and will also work

directly with the Resources Management and Interpretation staff from Haleakala National Park to accomplish the goals of the program,” stated the news release. “Hawaii Pacific Parks Association and the Student Conservation Association will provide administrative support.”

Phase One of the internship runs from Sept. 2 to Dec. 31 this year. Assuming funding continues for the project, the internship’s second and third phases will run from Jan. 2 to Aug. 31, 2014.

Again, they’re looking for candidates able to work at the national park’s Summit district Monday through Friday, 7:30am to 4pm for the duration of all three phases. Interns will receive a $280/week “living allowance.”

Recruitment will last until the park fills the internship position. For more information, contact Paracuelles at 808572-4452 or by email at Kuhea_Paracuelles@nps.gov. To apply online, check out the Student Conservation Association website at Thesca.org/serve/internships and use position number PO-00225966.

and development organization, the New Energy and Industrial Technology Development Organization of Japan (NEDO) and led by Hitachi Ltd. in partnership with the Maui Electric Co./Hawaiian Electric Co, County of Maui, Maui Economic Development Board, Hawaii Department of Business Economic Development & Tourism, and Hawaii Natural Energy Institute.”

In any case, the chargers don’t look too attractive now–being all wrapped in plastic and such–but a new contest for Maui County students in grades six through 12 being sponsored by Hitachi and the MEDB should sharpen them up very soon.

“The artist can choose to create either one design that will go on both the front and back charger panels or create two complimentary [sic] designs that will go on the front and back panels,” stated a May 9 news release from MEDB spokesperson Linn Nishikawa.

“Each panel is 13.5” wide x 65” high.

Artwork must be created in either Adobe Illustrator or Photoshop. File formats accepted are: Adobe Illustrator EPS, or Photoshop EPS (300 dpi resolution) or PDF (300 dpi resolution).”

Did we mention there are very generous prizes for the winners? First place gets a prize package worth $1,000; second place gets $500 worth of prizes; and third place gets a prize package worth $250.

All submissions should include the student’s name, school, grade, mailing address, phone number and email address. The deadline is June 1, 2013 (the announcement of the winning image will take place at the mall on June 15).

To enter, send your contest entries to Maui Economic Development Board, attention Lesley Bristol: 1305 N. Holopono St., Suite 1, Kihei, HI 96753 or email them to Bristol@medb.org.

Mmm... flowers

MAY 16, 2013

7

News & Views

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

FEATURING STYLIST:

JEFFIE HARRIS • SARAH NELSON EVANS • COLIN MESSER REBEKAH SARGEANT • JENNY ORIORDAN CHRISTINE WIGGINS • LAURA KENNEDY

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FRONTIERS OF PARENTING Caribou Baby, a Brooklyn, N.Y., “ecofriendly maternity, baby and lifestyle store,” has recently been hosting gatherings at which parents exchange tips on “elimination communication”–the weaning of infants without benefit of diapers (as reported in April by The New York Times).

Parents watch for cues, such as a certain “cry or grimace” that supposedly signals that the tot urgently needs to be hoisted onto a potty. (Eventually, they say, the potty serves to cue the baby.) Dealing with diapers is so unpleasant, they say, that cleaning an occasional mess becomes tolerable. The little darlings’ public appearances sometimes call for diapers, but can also be dealt with by taking the baby behind the nearest tree. One parent even admitted, “I have absolutely been at parties and witnessed people putting their baby over the sink.”

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE Washington, D.C.’s WRC-TV reported in March that a woman from the Maryland suburbs showed a reporter a traffic citation she had just received, ticketing her for driving in the left lane on Interstate 95 in Laurel while going only 63 mph–compared to the posted (“maximum”) speed of 65.

The citation read, “Failure of driver... to keep right.” The station’s meteorologist noted that winds that day were gusting to 40 mph and that the woman might simply have been trying to control her car.

BAD TEACHER The principal and head teacher at a Godalming, England, special-needs school were reported by employees in March for allowing a student with self-harm issues to cut herself, under staff supervision. (Unsted Park School enrolls kids aged seven to 19 who have high-functioning autism.) Teachers were to hand the girl a sterilized blade, wait outside a bathroom while she acted out, checking up on her at two-minute intervals, and then dress the girl’s wounds once she had finished. The school reportedly abandoned the policy six days after implementing it.

CAR SALESMAN OF THE YEAR Last year, according to Chicago’s WBBMTV, Palmen Motors in Kenosha, Wis., sold a brand-new GMC Terrain SUV to an elderly couple, 90 and 89, in which the husband was legally blind and in hospice care, on morphine, and the wife had dementia and could barely walk. According to the couple’s daughter, it was her brother, David McMurray, who wanted the SUV but could not qualify financially and so drove his mother from Illinois to Kenosha to sign the documents while a Palmen employee traveled to Illinois to get the father’s signature (three weeks

8

MAY 16, 2013

before he passed away, it turns out). An attorney for Palmen Motors told the TV station that the company regretted its role and would buy the vehicle back.

DEMOCRACY BLUES The city council of Oita, Japan, refused to seat a recently elected member because he refused to remove the mask he always wears in public. Professional wrestler “Skull Reaper A-ji” said his fans would not accept him as authentic if he strayed from his character.

Some masked U.S. wrestlers, and especially the popular Mexican “lucha libre” wrestlers, share the sentiment. At press time, the issue was apparently still unresolved in Oita.

THIS WEEK IN CARTOON ELF PORN Passive possession of child pornography is not a victimless crime, authorities say, because by definition a child had been abused in the creation of the image, but that reasoning was no relief for New Zealander Ronald Clark, who was sentenced to three months in jail in Auckland in April for watching pornographic cartoon videos of short-statured elves and pixies. A child-protection activist acknowledged that no child was harmed in the creation of the Japanese anime artwork, but insisted that it was still injurious because “[I]t’s all part of that spectrum.” Clark said he wondered if he might also be convicted for viewing sexual stick-figure drawings.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT John Leopold, the former county executive of Anne Arundel County, Md., serving 30 days in jail for illegally forcing his government security detail and another employee to perform personal errands, apparently wasted no time in March displaying a similar attitude toward his jailers.

He quickly demanded that the jailers serve him a breakfast of Cheerios, skim milk, bananas and orange juice instead of the scheduled fare. (Last year, Anders Breivik, the imprisoned 2011 mass murderer of 77 in Norway, famously began a hunger strike when rebuffed over his 27-page list of demands, including Internet access and a series of menu and climate-control improvements.)

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Carl Bellenir, 48, was arrested in San Luis Obispo, Calif., in February after he had successfully cashed in, at a Santa Barbara Bank & Trust, several rolls of pennies that had been stuffed into rolls labeled for dimes. Bellenir apparently did not realize that the rolls would be examined later in the day and so returned the very next morning to the same bank and tried it again. Police were called, and Bellenir fled, but he was captured down the street at a Bank of America trying the same trick.■ chuck@mauitime.com

MAKAWAO

MAUI

W W W. P I I H O L O Z I PL I N E . C OM

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

H

ave you ever heard of personal space? My husband, son and I were down the street from our house watching the sunset. We were the first to arrive, so we grabbed a prime spot in a little nook.

Little by little, others joined us on this large, vacant beach. Then you two–clearly a tourist couple–arrived and sat right behind me.

After spreading your legs out toward my head, you cracked open a cold one. As the sun set, you inched your feet closer to me. It was too much, so my husband kindly informed you two that you were invading my space, and made me feel uncomfortable. “It’s a public beach, brah!” you said. We didn’t want to pick a fight, so we left. Personal space at the beach is something to watch. We’re all trying to enjoy our small piece of paradise. So please give us some room! ■

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Triumph for the Humpbacks?

Why a Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council member wants the whales removed from the endangered species list

By Anthony Pignataro • Images courtesy Pacific Whale Foundation

I

t’s hard to imagine these days– especially if you’re standing on any south or west-face Maui beach in the winter for more than a minute–but even just 50 years ago there were fewer than 1,500 humpback whales in the North Pacific. Whaling, which devastated whale populations around the world, had largely been banned around the world, but as a species, humpbacks hovered near extinction. It’s been on the official endangered species list since 1973, when President Richard Nixon signed the Endangered Species Act into law.

Today, the situation for humpbacks is dramatically different. Today, biologists estimate there are 20,000 or more of the whales swimming in the Pacific, with another 60,000 or so spread throughout the rest of the oceans. The humpbacks’ recovery is a conservation success story. In fact,

10 MAY 16, 2013

it’s so apparent that a new group of Hawaii fishermen have asked the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to remove humpbacks from the official list of endangered species.

“We believe that the population of these whales has fully recovered,” Phil Fernandez, the president of Hawaii Fishermen’s Alliance for Conservation and Tradition (HFACT), wrote in a recent news release.

“When an endangered or threaten[ed] species recovers, especially to the extent of these humpback whales, it needs to be celebrated. Otherwise the integrity of the Endangered Species law is compromised.”

On paper, Fernandez makes a compelling case. The narrative portion of his petition runs 44 pages (including a 10page bibliography) and is packed with tables and references to scientific research.

Among other evidence, the petition points out that humpbacks in the North Pacific

have been protected by an international treaty on whaling since 1966.

Fernandez himself has whale conservation credentials. In fact, since 2010 he’s been a member of the advisory council Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary (which is administered through NOAA). In fact, last year he was the sanctuary’s Volunteer of the Year.

But others, though thrilled with the whales’ increasing population, aren’t nearly so quick to declare victory. In fact, they note that just because whales are close to their pre-whaling population, that doesn’t mean they’re out of danger.

“We should celebrate when animals come off the list, like the bald eagle,” said Greg Kaufman, founder and president of the Pacific Whale Foundation. “When we successfully de-list an animal, we see what has happened to allow them to sustain themselves. With whales, we have increas-

ing problems with marine debris and ship strikes–these things are increasing. You won’t find a scientist who says oceans have less noise or debris today.”

The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary is charged with protecting the whales and their habitat. But in the matter of potentially taking whales off the endangered species list, sanctuary spokesperson Christine Brammer said they are basically staying neutral.

“Currently humpback whales are protected by a variety of laws including the Endangered Species Act, the Marine Mammal Protection Act and state wildlife laws,” read a statement sent to Brammer. “Should this thorough review determine that Hawaii’s humpbacks will be removed from the list, they will remain protected by the Marine Mammal Protection Act, State of Hawaii wildlife laws, and the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary.”

Brammer added that her organization was aware of HFACT’s petition before it was filed, but offered no further details.

The whole question of whether humpback whales have recovered to the point that they no longer require the attention and protection afforded them under the Endangered Species Act hinges on how many whales existed before humans began devastating their pods with harpoons. Unfortunately, the number of humpback whales that existed before whaling isn’t exactly known.

A widely used estimate is 125,000, scattered through all the oceans. Since there weren’t any of what we’d call accurate counts two centuries ago, the best historian Eric Jay Dolin could say in his book Leviathan was that when the first whalers reached the Pacific in 1789, they found an ocean “full of whales.”

“We are completely uncertain of what the original stock was in the North Pacific,” said Kaufman. “It could easily have been 70,000 animals. If that’s the case, then ‘recovery’ would be 30,000 to 40,000 animals in the North Pacific.”

Though it’s likely the large numbers of humpbacks we see spending the winter in Hawaiian waters is a relatively recent phenomena, whaling itself played a significant role in the development of the state. After all, Honolulu and Lahaina were the most important whaling ports in the Pacific during the 19th century. What’s more, huge numbers of Hawaiians signed on as whaling ship crewmembers. And this “whaling element,” as Dolin quotes historian Ernest S. Dodge as writing, brought sexually transmitted diseases and liquor, which proved “disastrous for the native population.”

The American, largely missionary population apparently didn’t much like things either. “The truth is, the whole nation is rotten with licentiousness,” Dolin quoted one observer as writing. “Men hire out their wives & daughters without the least scrupple, for the sake of money. It is computed by Dr––of Lahaina that at the port during the whaling season there are upwards of 400 instances of intercourse with sailors daily...

[One] establishment at that place is a perfect sink of iniquity. They are accustomed to have dances of naked girls for the entertainment of their customers the whalemen.”

Yes, for much of the 19th century, the slaughter of whales meant big business for Hawaii. And while the U.S.–and much of the rest of world–has been out of the whaling industry for a long time, whales are still very important to Hawaii, both in terms of tourist dollars and in the world of environmental conservation. They are also part of a massive bureaucratic network that includes local, state and federal authorities.

“The system appears to be broken,” said Fernandez when talking of the myriad agencies involved in the protection of marine animals. “The integrity of the ESA [Endangered Species Act] is falling apart.

Fernandez said he helped form HFACT with four other Hawaii fishermen to bring their perspective to marine issues. “When you go to public hearings, testify at the Legislature, you bump into the same people,” Fernandez said when asked the five fishermen of his group met. “The same people testify all the time. We were also involved in a lot of advisory councils. We had dinner together in Honolulu three years ago.”

Saying it took a couple years to “formalize” their group, Fernandez said the organization now tries to bring “the fishermen’s perspective” to various marine issues around the state.

One of the most important of these issues, he said, is the constant attention NOAA is paying to new endangered species.

“We were getting in a lot of public hearings on the endangered species list,” he said.

“One on corals came up. There’s the monk seal issue, too. Several other species–the damselfish and clownfish, too. What got the fishermen’s attention was the false killer whale.”

According to Fernandez, the number of new species being added to the endangered list is actually hurting NOAA. “Every time you turn around, there’s something with ESA,” said Fernandez.

“There’s a group called the Center for Biological Diversity that has backed most of these. These guys are a bunch of attorneys, and it looked like they were throwing paperwork at NOAA, which said they were getting overwhelmed.”

Not surprisingly, Miyoko Sakashita, a spokesperson for the Center for Biological Diversity in San Francisco, disputed Fernandez’s characterization.

“I too wish Hawaii didn’t have so many endangered species,” she said. “I think the humpback is an interesting [case] because of the steps it’s made toward recovery. It shows how important the Endangered Species Act is. But I’m not sure we’re in the clear yet. We need to make sure the gains that have been made aren’t rolled back. The decision to de-list should be based on science and not on a political stunt.”

In any case, Fernandez said his group decided to do something about it. “You

cannot have species after species admitted to the ESA,” he said. “We have to see what we can remove.”

Fernandez said that he determined that whales had recovered to the point where they could come off the endangered species list. He said that while whales don’t impact fishermen in Hawaii, de-listing them would make a powerful point “at the political/regulatory level.”

“Laws need to have integrity,” he said.

So in early May, Fernandez and the other four fishermen of HFACT submitted an official petition to NOAA asking that humpback whales in the North Pacific come off the endangered species list. When I asked how exactly it came about, Fernandez said he wrote “most” of it.

“It was kind of a team effort,” Fernandez said. “I did most of it. I also copied other de-listing and listing petitions–I used the same format. All of the bibliography is from the Humpback Whale Sanctuary. I just built on it. If you have a library card, you can get anything. We’re not scientists, but it’s a homegrown petition.”

Fernandez’s assurances aside, it’s clear that HFACT had outside help in preparing their petition. There are substantial differences between the petition’s writing style (which is extremely academic and full of technical jargon) and other samples of writing sent out by HFACT, like the fullpage advertisement for the group that is running in the May 2013 issue of Hawaii Boats & Yachts, which contains numerous run-on sentences and unclear thinking: “In many cases, the regulations on fishing have been thrust upon fishermen

“I know all too well how hard it is to get protection for whales and dolphins, and how hard it is to make it stick. Delisting the Humpbacks may well open the way for renewed hunting. This is not the time to rush.”

because fishermen are unable or unwilling to participate in public hearings at the legislature and department levels as well as the use of bad science and in some cases no science to justify their actions.”

Now compare that to this paragraph I chose at random from the de-listing petition: “The best available science indicates that the humpback whale population in the North Pacific is unequivocally separated spatially, genetically and morphologically from humpback whale populations in the Southern Hemisphere (Fleming and Jackson 2011). However, population structure within the North Pacific population is complex, and neither migratory patterns nor genetic evidence provide conclusive evidence for further dividing the North Pacific population into distinct segments. Therefore, NMFS should consider the North Pacific population as a discrete segment for consideration of a DPS under the ESA.” Though Fernandez did say he showed his petition to others before submitting it to NOAA, he would not say who, beyond that they were “people in the state and federal government.”

“They were more editing than anything else,” he added. “They were not helping us on a scientific level.”

I wasn’t the only one to raise questions over who else might have had a hand in writing the petition.

“I just had a chance to read their petition, and it seems very sophisticated and detailed to have been quickly produced by a handful of fishing and casting clubs,” wrote Joan McIntyre–one of the original save-thewhales activists from the 1960s, who today lives on Lanai–in an email to me. “I wonder who wrote it and I wonder what their agenda really is, and how they have managed to pull together a scientific petition in what seems like a very short time.”

McIntyre wrote a number of books on whales, including Mind In The Waters (1975) and The Delicate Art of Whale Watching (1991). She was one of the first save-the-whales activists–in fact, she was the first woman to attend an International Whaling Commission hearing, in 1969. To say she holds strong feelings about the survivability of whales is an understatement.

“Although there have been, and are, scientific arguments for declaring the North Pacific Humpbacks no longer in danger of extinction, there are new, barely understood threats to all marine life–ocean acidification, global warming, changes in food supply, pollution–so that rushing to delist the whales at this time may be way too premature,” she said in an email. “As one of the originators of the worldwide save the whales movement, back in the late ‘60’s and early ‘70’s... I know all too well how hard it is to get protection for whales and dolphins, and how hard it is to make it stick. Delisting the Humpbacks may well open the way for renewed hunting. This is not the time to rush.”

Given that NOAA is a government agency, “rush” is something they most certainly won’t do. Since HFACT’s petition will require public hearings and additional studies, Kaufman said it will take three to five years for them to come to some conclusion. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

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Food & Drink

What You Can Drink At This Year’s Maui Brew Fest

BY JEN RUSSO

B

eer drinking has become a refined tasting affair with the growing popularity of small batch craft brews. Thanks in part to Maui’s own passionate indie-crafters at Maui Brewing Company, American Craft Beer Week has been a boon of events, but none bigger than the Maui Brewers Festival that takes place this Saturday at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center (MACC), which will help raise funds for programs at the MACC. You too can take part in sampling the suds from 33 different breweries. This year, the event features more food than ever, with food trucks serving plates if you’re so inclined to sup it up.

We know you’re probably curious about the brews you’ll find at the festival so take a gander at this amazing lineup (NOTE: rare beers are found only at the VIP ticket event):

Anderson Valley Brewing Company: Summer Solstice: American Cream Ale & Barney Flats Ballast Point: Victory @ Sea & Big Eye IPA Bear Republic Brewing Co: Racer 5 IPA &

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Blue Moon: Raspberry Cream Ale & Honeymoon Grand Cru Boston Beer Co./Samuel Adams: Grumpy Monk, Angry Orchard Crisp Hard Cider Double Agent & New World Stonybrook 13th Hour (RARE BEER) Caldera Brewing Company: Caldera Double Hemp Brown, Caldera Hop Mash & Caldera Rose Petal Imperial Golden (RARE BEER) Coronado Brewing Company: Hibiscus IPA & Orange Avenue Wit Deschutes Brewery: Twilight Ale, Armory XPZ & Class ‘88 (RARE BEER) Dogfish Head Craft Brewery: Namaste & 90 Minute IPA & Bitches Brew (RARE BEER) Golden Road Brewery: Point the Way IPA & Get Up Offa That Brown Goose Island Beer Company: Goose Island IPA & Goose Island Honkers Ale Hopworks Urban Brewery: HUB Organic Lager & Hopworks Organic IPA Iron Fist Brewing: Velvet Glove & Spice of Life Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales: Madrugada & Bam Biere Kauai Island Brewing Company: Canefire Red & Captain Cook’s IPA Kona Brewing Company: Wailua Wheat & Castaway IPA

Lost Abbey Brewing/Port Brewing Co.: Mongo & Devotion Lost Coast Brewing: Tangerine

Wheat & Indica IPA Maui Brewing Co.: Lemongrass Saison, Barrel Aged Red Cock Doppel Bock, Maui Maibock, Pau Hana Pilsner, Shifting Winds IPA Moylan’s Brewing Company: Kilt Lifter & Hopsickle Imperial IPA Ninkasi Brewing Company: Spring Reign Ale, Believer Double Red Ale & Babylon English Style Double IPA (RARE BEER) North Coast Brewing: Scrimshaw Pilsner & Old Rasputin Oskar Blues Brewery: Dale’s Pale Ale & Mama’s Little Yella Pils Pizza Port Brewery: Middle Man & Way Heavy Primo: Primo Island Lager Redhook Ale Brewery: Audible Ale & Long Hammer IPA Redstone Meadery: Black Raspberry Nectar & Mango Nectar Rogue: Dad’s Little Helper & Original Colonies Mead Sierra Nevada Brewery: Southern Hemisphere Harvest, Hoptimum & Ovila Golden (RARE BEER)

Stone Brewing Co.: Stone Sublimely Self

Righteous, Stone Ruination IPA & Highway 78 (RARE BEER) Uncommon Brewers: Siamese Twin Ale & Long Form Tripple Widmer Brothers Brewing Company: Pitch Black IPA & Alchemy Ale ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Food & Drink

No Mass Production!

Stewart’s Burgers in Kihei is simple and delicious

BY JEN RUSSO

T

he glorious burger has a new incarnation in Kihei. Stewart’s Burgers recently opened next to Starbuck’s in the Kukui Mall. They kind of slid in under the radar when Stew Pinsky and his wife Trina Teruya Pinsky bought the existing Fat Boy’s burger restaurant.

They made a few subtle changes like handpatted Hawaii Ranchers beef patties sourced from Big Island and Garden Island cattle, gourmet French Dijon mustard and bakerymade buns. In December, they officially changed the restaurant’s name to Stewart’s Burgers and added a new burger menu.

“We do not serve, as they say in the biz, frozen patties from freezer, pre-made, directly to grill,” says Stewart. “What sets us apart from the majority of burger joints is that every morning we season our meat with our own special blend of spices, then we individually hand form each patty. No mass production machine here! No fillers at all.”

I put their burgers through a few ingenious tests–mainly dinner–and they held up.

They have a great build-your-own menu that includes just about everything you can imagine on your burger, from cleverly named “Jalapeno bottle caps” to grilled pineapple to crumbled bleu cheese.

Your base six-ounce burger starts at $6.75, with toppings costing a dollar. The menu has a big list of specialty burgers, too, which have interesting combinations of toppings, cheeses and meats (the latter includes including veggie, fish, ground turkey, pulled pork and chicken breasts). The Pinskys spent a lot of time fussing over the right bun, and came up with made from local bakery-baked Hawaiian sweet bread that really adds perfect flavor and texture to the burger.

“I wanted clients to get the entire experience, from bun to meat,” says Stewart.

“Most restaurants just slap on a generic cold white bread bun. By being unique with our bun, it sets us apart from the others. For those gluten-free customers, we offer a Maui lettuce wrap.”

I had my picky seven-year-old kid-test the Menehune Burger (the meal is $6).

Her take: “I tried the burger, ketchup only, and also with Teriyaki sauce. Teriyaki sauce wins.” But in both cases the whole burger disappeared with fries.

For sides, their beer batter onion rings are sinful. Note: they’re even more so when you combine it with their sweet potato fries for an order of “Springs.”

The desserts are great, and include fresh

baked cookies made into Roselani Ice Cream sandwiches. One day they were on special for $4, but they’re regularly priced at $4.50. The Roselani shakes are also decadent, and you can get plain old ice cream scoops, too.

Their al fresco dining is pleasant. Both times I visited were at sunset, and there was a great view of the horizon.

But beware of pesky birds dive bombing your fries or pecking at your bun. If you aren’t keen to be outdoors, they also have a small indoor dining room that’s quite comfortable.

One night I noticed a party of eight whooping it up with burgers and a bottle of Cabernet (Stewart’s is BYOB). They told me they do it every week and love it there.

Stewart’s Burgers is a mom and pop operation in every sense of the description. Stewart is there every day, making sure the burgers are perfect and the ingredients are fresh. He says they love the business and would open more on Maui if they found the right spots.

“We get our meat from Hawaii, and we

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Stewart Pinsky have locally made buns,” he says. “All vegetables come from our farmer up in Kula. We take a lot of pride in what we serve and we strive to offer the best product we can daily. So far since we opened we’ve been accepted in a very positive way and we look forward to expanding our menu as we grow year by year.”

Find Stewart’s Burgers at 1819 S. Kihei Road or stewartsburgers.com. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

Best Of Maui Awards Ballot It’s that time again Time to cast your votes for our annual BEST OF MAUI. Usually, this ballot is decked out with whatever theme we’ve chosen. But this year, we’ve come up with another theme so cool, we want to keep it under wraps. Seriously, you’re gonna really dig it.

As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure. We’ve added some new categories this year to spice things up, but you’ll still find all the old standbys. Please VOTE IN AT LEAST 40 CATEGORIES if you want your ballot to be counted. Voting ends May 31.

You may also notice these convenient little QR codes throughout the ballot that you can scan with your smart phone at any time to take you to our online ballot.

Best of f Maui

2013

A FEW NOTES ABOUT BALLOT STUFFING: While most people play it straight, every year a few nefarious folks attempt to stuff the ballot box. To cut down on this, and to ensure the results are fair and accurate, here are a few rules:

★ ONLY ONE (1) BALLOT PER PERSON ★ ALL BALLOTS MUST BE SIGNED ★ NO PHOTOCOPIED BALLOTS WILL BE ACCEPTED

★ MULTIPLE BALLOTS IN THE SAME HANDWRITING WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED

★ BALLOTS MUST BE MAILED IN; NO MORE THAN THREE (3) BALLOTS PER ENVELOPE. ENVELOPES MUST HAVE A RETURN ADDRESS

★ EACH ONLINE BALLOT MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A VALID E-MAIL ADDRESS Any ballots that violate these rules—or that sufficiently rouse our suspicion— will not be tallied. We hope it isn’t necessary, but if anyone does attempt to unfairly sway the outcome, we reserve the right to create a Best Ballot Stuffer category. This is not something you want to win—trust us.

YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT! NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

VOTE ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 33 N. Market St., Suite 201, Wailuku, HI 96793

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15

Best Of Maui Awards Ballot ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT SPORTS & LEISURE

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MAY 16, 2013

17

2009, 2010, 2011 & 2012 BEST OF MAUI WINNER

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Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA FAIGA @sandtothecity

FRIDAY, MAY 17

THURSDAY, MAY 16 JOHN MAYALL & KIM SIMMONDS – John Mayall and Kim Simmonds will transport you to the era of British Blues this Thursday. Known to most as the “Godfather of British Blues,” Mayall introduced the world to the Bluesbreakers, whose members included Eric Clapton, Peter Green and Mick Taylor. Following a break, Mayall was called back to make music.

Opening the evening with an acoustic set will be Savoy Brown founder Kim Simmonds. Between sets, guests will be able to bid for autographed instruments, with proceeds benefiting Hawaii Lifeguard Association’s Jr. Lifeguard program. $35-$55. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Federico Maria Giammusso/ Wikimedia

MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY – “May Makawao thrive” and come alive for another Third Friday town party. Rediscover what sets Makawao apart in this evening celebrating the community and its merchants. Brown Chicken Brown Cow String Band takes the Makai Stage 6-7pm followed by Conner Snow 7-9pm. Keiki can get their face painted with Rachel Deboer. Or you can take advantage of Holiday & Co.’s 50 percent-75 percent off spring sale as well. And don’t miss the “Makawao Collective Fashion Show” at Anuhea Flowers, displaying all that Makawao hass to offer. 6pm-9pm. Makawao Town, Mauifridays.com.

FRIDAY, MAY 17 BREW FEST DINNER – As a precursor to the fifth annual Maui Brew Festival, craft beer connoisseurs and amateurs alike are invited to take part in the Maui Brew Fest Dinner. The first of its kind, the educational meal partners Cactus Bistro Chef John Memering and Maui Brewing Co. owner Garrett Marrero to prepare a dining experience exhibiting craft. The dinner highlights local ingredients, in both the food and beer, and will feature a breakdown of each course and craft pairing. Take advantage of the look at Maui’s local craft and Hawaii’s fresh ingredients. Proceeds will benefit the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. 21+. $140. 6pm-9pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Morgado Hall & Lanai (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy MACC

EBB & FLOW FESTIVAL – Ebb & Flow Arts presents a two-day festival sampling poems and music from around the world. The first night features Netherlands native Jaap Blonk. He’s been reciting music poetry for three decades, drawing inspiration from Kurt Schwitters. This second evening hosts the harp, flute and viola work of international composers performed by Hawaii Symphony members Susan McGinn, Colin Belisle and Tatyana ShapiroLeiste. Free. 7:30pm. Friday @ Iao Congregational Church (2371 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku) & Saturday @ Makawao Union Church (1145 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-8761854, Ebbandflowarts.org. Photo courtesy Ebb & Flow Arts

SATURDAY, MAY 18 MAUI BREW FEST – The 5th Annual Maui Brewers Festival returns for another evening of all beers. Sip your way through 33 breweries pouring more than 60 varieties of craft brews. The afternoon also consists of seven rare beers ranging from Golden Ales to Double English IPAs. Take a break between brew tastings and help yourself to pupus from local restaurants. Nuff Sedd, Lia Live and Simply Twisted will also provide tunes for your listening pleasure! Proceeds benefit the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. General Admission purchase includes eight four-ounce samples, a commemorative glass, island-inspired pupus and parking. VIP includes early rare beer tasting (2:30pm), reserved parking and logo shirt. $50/gen adm, $60/on event day, $95/ VIP Rare Beer Tasting. 2:30pm (VIP) 4pm (GA). Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Center, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

ARABIAN NIGHTS ECSTATIC DANCE – The Cosmic Collective invites you to Arabian Nights. Guests will be greeted by belly dancers and have access to a yoga swing jungle and the crystal altar. Star Fields will be producing live art while Maui’s DJ Boogiemeister and DJ Emuin will provide the evenings “Arabic electronica.” The evening will also feature nationally recognized author and Maui poet Dr. DreamingBear.

Take a break from the dance floor and enjoy a massage by Enlighten Up Massage. If guests dress in costume cover is $15 otherwise it’s $20 at door. 6pm-10pm. Maui Yoga Shala (381 Baldwin Ave, Paia), Origins-beatsbazaar.com. Photo Bioniclove

SATURDAY, MAY 18 HUI NO‘UEAU STUDENT & FACULTY SALON – The Hui No‘eau is opening its doors for their biennial “The Hui Teaches: Student & Faculty Salon.” It’s an opportunity for them to showcase work from Hui’s adult classes. The program is aimed at fostering community and creativity. For this particular show, eligible students, faculty and open studio users have been a part of a Hui program since May 2011. The exhibit will be open to the public May 18-July 5. Free. 10am4pm daily. Hui No’eau (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560, Huinoeau.com. Photo courtesy Hui No‘eau

MALAMA ONELOA – Save Makena is encouraging everyone to come out and Malama Oneloa (care for Big Beach.) Volunteers will help weeding invasive plants and cleaning the beach. Volunteers, along with Hawaii State DLNR officials will meet at the second entrance and work from there. Volunteers are encouraged to bring gloves and water. Other cleanup supplies and watermelon will be provided. Come kokua in keeping our islands clean and user friendly. 9am. Makena State Park (second entrance); 808-214-0147, SaveMakena.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

SATURDAY, MAY 18 SUPPER CLUB WITH MISHKA – Caribbean Reggae artist Mishka takes to the Stella stage this Friday. Mishka’s eclectic music reverberates with messages of love and social justice. Following a short stint at a mainstream label, Mishka has since gone independent and now exercises creative control over his music. He’s released four albums to date and has toured extensively alongside Anuhea, Matisyahu, Slightly Stoopid, The Roots and Gregory Isaacs. Dinner & Show $60/6pm. Show Only $30/ 7:30pm. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779, Stellablues.com. Photo courtesy mishka.com

SATURDAY, MAY 18 KANDI EVERETTE – Paia Tattoo Parlor is presenting renowned tattoo artist Kandi Everett on Saturday. Everett has more than three decades of experience. She’s been featured in galleries around the world, and she specializes in China Sea Flash artwork. Joining her will be Tania Arens, a fellow printmaking tattoo artist. Everett will close her art show with first-come, first-served tattoo sessions between noon and 6pm. There will be a closing reception featuring both artists work at 7pm. Enjoy pupus and wine/beer while shopping the art. Please call ahead to make appointments. 12pm tattoo appointments start; 7pm closing reception. Paia Tattoo Parlor (120 0 Hana Hwy, Paia); 808-579-8515, paiatattooparlor.com. Photo courtesy Paia Tattoo Parlor

TUESDAY, TU U ES E S DA D Y MAY 21 ‘DESPICABLE ME’ – Here’s a chance to plan a movie date with your keiki at the Kihei Public Library. In the animated movie, Despicable Me, Gru goes on a ruthless mission to steal the moon. Then three orphan girls turn his world upside down. Suitable for keiki five and up, all are welcome to join. All children must be accompanied by an adult. If accommodations or sign language services are needed, please contact the library as soon as possible. Snacks will be provided. Free. 6pm. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808875-6833, Librarieshawaii.org. Photo: Martin Lewison/Wikimedia Commons

PASSION 4 FASHION – Just in time for the summer, the Passion 4 Fashion boutique is presenting a Summer Fashion Show at Lulu’s this Saturday. With music and video mixes by DJ Big Mike, the P4F’s models will hit the runway at 11pm. P4F merchandise goes on sale at 7pm and prizes will be given out throughout the night. Passion 4 Fashion is a locally owned boutique located on the Westside. Be sure to check out what your passion might be. Free.

11pm. Lulu’s (1221 Honoapi’ilani Hwy, Lahaina), Passion4fashionboutique.com. Photo: Passion 4 Fashion

SUNDAY, SUND ND DA AY Y, MAY MAY 19 MA C CIRQUE DU SUNDAY – Swing on by to Cirque du Sunday! It’s a day full of fun, when you can test your trapeze skills or learn a lilittle aerial arts (2pm-5pm/ $10 each). If that’s not your thing, enjoy lilive music and food vendors safely on ground. Anthony Delaney, a former Cirque Du Soleil performer, will put on a free show for aall (5pm). Musical guests Go Get Em will take the stage following Delaney (6pm). Get comfortable because the finale will be a movie D on the lawn (7pm). Be sure to don your best circus costume for the o costume contest as well. Free entry. 2pm. Emerald City Trapeze c Arts Maui (111 Ulupono St., Lahaina); 808-268-9597, EmerA aldcitytrapeze.com.

Photo courtesy Emerald City Trapeze Arts a

WEDNESDAY, WEDN DNE DN ES SD DA AY, MAY 2 22 MAUI SOCIETY OF WOMEN ENGINEERS HAPPY HOUR – The Society of Women Engineers Maui will host a happy hour this Wednesday. Women (and men!) interested in engineering, technology and science are welcome to stop by and network. Here’s your chance to meet engineers on the island and ask all about coefficients of drag, inertia, centers of gravity and any other engineering-related questions you might have. Cost includes pupus and two drinks. RSVP here. $20. 5pm-7pm. Stella Blues Cafe, Party Room (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), Swe-hi.org/swe/main.html. Photo: Thomas Lehmann/Wikimedia Commons

MAY 16, 2013 19

Film

‘Mud’ It’s a great short film surrounded by a very long bad film

BY BARRY WURST II

Mud

★★★★★

Rated PG-13 / 130 Min.

E

llis (Tye Sheridan) and Neckbone (Jacob Lofland) are two young boys, living in a poor section of Arkansas, who discover a boat that has somehow wound up in a tree. The boat is run down but has a living quarter and a stack of dirty magazines. Since it’s already suspended off the ground, is a prime location for a tree house.

To their disappointment, the boys discover that a homeless man named Mud (Matthew McConaughey) has already claimed the boat as his home. The boys strike a bargain with him, agreeing to help him by running errands, in exchange for possession of the boat after he vacates. Mud tells the boys to keep an eye out for his girlfriend, who is supposed to show up in town any day.

Meanwhile, a mysterious blonde (Reese Witherspoon) is spotted at a supermar-

20 MAY 16, 2013

ket, and appears as mysterious and questionable a presence as Mud himself.

To give away more would be revealing too much, as the story has a few good surprises but is pretty simple, even slight. It feels like a short story, achingly stretched to feature-length. Writer/director Jeff Nichols’ film is 130-minutes, way too long for a tale that needed to be tighter to make a stronger impression.

The leisurely pace and length drain all the tension and undermine some great performances, particularly McConaughey’s.

Lofland is amusing and gives an unforced, naturalistic turn but the film’s breakout performance comes from Sheridan, who’s fantastic. The unfolding revelations regarding Mud are a backdrop for the story of Ellis’ journey of discovery; over the course of a difficult summer, he realizes that those he trusts can be deceptive and deeply flawed. It’s Sheridan’s film and the actor, who shined as one of Brad Pitt’s sons in The Tree of Life, proves to be a child actor of enormous depth.

Witherspoon is refreshingly unglamor-

His name is Mud.

ous in a small but well-played character turn, as is the reliable Sam Shepard, completely at home in a Southern gothic tale.

Then there’s McConaughey, who’s one of the best things about the movie.

When a successful, famous movie star is cast as someone homeless, jobless or suffering from financial difficulties, it’s often hard to swallow. If you know the actor or actress in question is typically jet setting and making millions as an entertainer, it’s not always easy to make that leap of faith. The miracle of McConaughey’s work is that, while the character has a steady reserve, there’s none of the brash, cockiness we expect from the actor. Instead, we see real pain and sadness in his eyes and a sense of desperation and pride so deep that he can barely bring himself to ask anyone for help. It’s

one of his finest performances yet.

Of course, the film itself has lots of problems. A subplot featuring Michael Shannon, playing Neckbone’s philandering uncle, goes nowhere and should have been cut in the editing room. Also, the ending feels like it comes from an entirely different movie.

Considering how subtle the build-up is, the sudden, conventional wrap-up feels unworthy of all that came before it.

Nichol’s previous film was the justly acclaimed, little seen drama Take Shelter, which showcased a great leading turn

by Shannon and had a terrific, novelistic story. Mud also has a superb actor in the lead but the screenplay feels like a first draft. There’s a good movie in there, but it’s surrounded by scenes and subplots that should have been either fleshed out or tossed altogether. ■

Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY TONI COLOMBO

KA’AHUMANU 6

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation-PG13-FRI-SAT 1:00, 5:45, 10:15. SUN-WED 1:00, 5:45.

Mud-PG13-THU 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7:00. FRISAT 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7:00, 9:50. SUN-WED 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7:00.

Oblivion-PG13-THU 10:45, 1:30, 4:15, 7:00.

FRI-SAT 10:45, 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. SUNWED 10:45, 1:30, 4:15, 7:00.

Peeples-PG13-THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. FRI-WED 10:45, 3:30, 8:00.

The Big Wedding-R-THU 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:25. SUN-WED. The Great Gatsby-PG13-THU10:30, 1:30, 4:30, 7:30. FRI-SAT 10:30, 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30. SUN-WED 10:30, 1:30, 4:30, 7:30.

The Great Gatsby 3D-PG13-THU 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30.

SUN-WED 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30.

42: A True American Legend-PG13-THU 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. SUN-WED 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30.

Iron Man 3-PG13-THU 11:45, 12:45, 2:45, 3:45, 5:45, 6:45, 8:45, 9:45. FRI-SAT 11:45, 12:45, 2:45, 3:45, 5:45, 6:45, 8:45, 9:45.

SUN-WED 11:45, 12:45, 2:45, 3:45, 5:45, 6:45, 8:45, 9:45.

Iron Man 3 3D-PG13-THU 12:15, 3:15, 6:15, 9:15. FRI-SAT 12:15, 3:15, 6:15, 9:15. SUNWED 12:15, 3:15, 6:15, 9:15.

Pain and Gain-R-THU 1:30, 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. FRI-SAT 1:30, 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. 1:30, 4:20, 7:10, 10:00.

Star Trek Into Darkness-PG13-THU 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00. FRI-SAT 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00, 9:30. SUN-WED 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00, 9:30.

Star Trek Into Darkness 3D-PG13-THU 11:30, 12:25, 1:00, 2:30, 4:00, 5:30, 6:30,

7:00, 8:30, 10:00. FRI-SAT 11:30, 12:25, 1:00, 2:30, 4:00, 5:30, 6:30, 7:00, 8:30, 10:00. SUNWED 11:30, 12:25, 1:00, 2:30, 4:00, 5:30, 6:30, 7:00, 8:30, 10:00.

The Company You Keep-R-THU 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50. FRI-SAT 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50.

SUN-WED 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50.

The Croods-PG-THU 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50. FRI-SAT 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50.

SUN-WED 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50.

The Place Beyond the Pines-R-THU 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:55. FRI-SAT 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:55. SUN-WED 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:55.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Iron Man 3-PG13-THU 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, 10:15. FRI-WED 12:00, 3:15, 6:30, 9:45.

Star Trek Into Darkness-PG13-FRI-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, 10:15.

The Great Gatsby-PG13-FRI-THU 1:00, 4:15, 7:30, 10:45.

The Place Beyond The Pines opens this week

THURSDAY

5/16

NEW THIS WEEK THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES - R - Crime/Drama - An ambitious cop in a corrupt department collides with a motorcycle stunt rider who robs banks to pay for his girlfriend and kid. Stars Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper. 140 min.

NOW PLAYING 42: A TRUE AMERICAN LEGEND - PG13 - Drama/Sports - Brian Helgeland directs this first major biopic of Jackie Robinson, who broke Major League Baseball’s loathsome “color barrier” in 1947. Stars Chadwick Boseman and Harrison Ford. 128 min.

THE BIG WEDDING - R - Comedy - A long divorced couple pretends to be married when their family gets together for a wedding. 90 min.

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP - R - Thriller Robert Redford directs and stars in this flick

about a young journalist who finds a former Weatherman activist who’s gone underground. 121 min.

THE CROODS - PG - Animation - A prehistoric family goes on a road trip. 98 min.

THE GREAT GATSBY - PG13 - Drama - A war veteran finds himself involved with his rich neighbor in the 1920s. Stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. 143 min.

IRON MAN 3 - PG13 - Action/Sci-fi/Comics - Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark, this time to take on Mandarin (Ben Kingsley). Also stars Gwyneth Paltrow and Guy Pearce. 130 min.

MUD - PG13 - Drama - Two teenage boys try to help a fugitive (Matthew McConaughey) get away from bounty hunters and find his one true love. Awww... See this week’s film critique. 130 min OBLIVION - PG-13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Tom Cruise plays a lonely vet on an empty Earth who starts to question his job extracting

planetary resources. Sounds like a big budget remake of WALL-E. 126 min.

PAIN & GAIN - R - Action/Crime/Comedy - Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson star in this mediocre action comedy based on a ruthless Miami crime gang that killed real people in the 1990s. 130 min.

PEEPLES - PG13 - Comedy - Wade Walker crashes the Peeples’ annual gettogether in the Hamptons so he could marry their daughter. 95 min.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS - PG13 - Action/SciFi - The crew of the Enterprise must hunt down a dangerous terrorist who could destroy the future as Trekkies know it.

132 min.

LAST CHANCE GI JOE: RETALIATION - PG-13 - Action Bruce Willis, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and elite military unit (based on old action figures) fights bad guys. 110 min.

THURSDAY NIGHT BLUES

W/ MARK JOHNSTONE & LE LENNY LENN NNY NN Y CA CASTELLANOS AST S EL ELLA LANO LA N NO 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

FRIDAY

5/17

EVAN DOVE

6:30PM-8:30PM 6:30PM 8:30PM • no COVER

PARTY LIKE LIBERACE W/

DJ KAMIKAZE & DJ BIG MIKE

DRESS “FABULOUS” BUL LOUS FOR R HAL HALF F OFF OFF T THE COVER! 10PM • $10 COVER

SATURDAY CHARLEY’S IS VERY PROUD TO PRESENT 55/18 /1 8

UNCLE C WILLIE K! 10PM • $10 COVER

5/19 /19

BREAKFAST

5/20

OPEN MIC & JAM

SUNDAY

SERVED SER ERVED VED AT 7AM 7AM BREAKFAST & DRINK SPECIALS! CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND MONDAY OND NDAY AY

TUESDAY

5/21

WEDNESDAY

5/22

7PM-10PM • no COVER TACO TUESDAY W/

HOWARD AHIA

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER 6:30PM-8:3OPM • NO COVER

EVAN DOVE

& FRIENDS 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

MAY 16, 2013

21

Calendar

$

YDAY 3PM-7PM HAPPY HOUR EVER $ $

2 BUD LIGHT • 3 WELLS • 5 JAGER

1 TACO SPECIAL

$

THURS

EVERYDAY 3-5PM • 10-11PM

RAMPAGE I WANT CANDY FRIDAY 5.17

5.16

LIVE MUSIC @10PM

@9PM

ANNIE AND THE ORFINZ@6PM FRESH INC @9PM SUN GINA MARTINELLI 5.19 @6PM

SAT

5.18

MON

5.20 WED

5.22

$3 CORONA DAY TUES POOL LEAGUE 5.21 JUKEBOX PARTY @6PM

MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299

Da Kine Calendar

BY TONI COLOMBO

BIG SHOWS

BRITISH BLUES EXPLOSION - Thu, May 16.

Blues legend John Mayall and icon Kim Simmons bring British blues to Maui. Backed by a powerhouse band, music will range from rare acoustic sets to familiar blues sounds. After the show, bid at the live auction for autographed instruments. $35, $45, $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY TOWN PARTY Fri, May 17. Make the trek upcountry to Makawao’s Third Friday block party. This month’s party celebrates upcountry businesses and community.

Enjoy live music, a fashion show, food, drinks and more. 6-9pm. (Baldwin Ave.); mauifridays.com SUPPER CLUB WITH MISHKA - Fri, May 17.

Live music and dinner. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. 6-9pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808874-3779; stellablues.com EBB & FLOW MINI INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL - Fri-Sat, May 17-18. Ebb & Flow presents a 2-day mini international festival as part of its North South East West Festival 2013. Jaap Blonk from the Netherlands will perform sound poetry and flute, viola and harp performances.

Free admission. 7:30pm. Iao Congregational Church (2371 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808876-1854; ebbandflowarts.org THE WILLIE K BLUES BAND - Fri, May 17. $10.

10pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com MAUI BREW FESTIVAL - Sat, May 18. Maui Brew Festival showcases the best craft beers made in Hawaii and beyond. Join hosts Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Maui Brewing Co. and Paradise Beverages for a leisurely day of tasting beers from over 30 craft breweries, sampling appetizers from over 20 of Maui’s popular restaurants and food trucks, and live music

by Nuff Sedd, Lia Live and Simply Twisted.

Prizes will be given away, too. $50/gen adm, $60/on event day, $95/VIP Rare Beer Tasting.

2:30-7pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org ARABIAN NIGHTS ECSTATIC DANCE PARTY - Sat, May 18. Dance the night away, Arabian style. The Cosmic Collection presents a night of cultural sound, food, massage, Yoga Swing jungle and live art by Star Field. Boogiemeister and Emuin featuring Dr. DreamingBear will be spinning arabic electronica from 6pm-10pm. $20 or $15 with costume. 6-10pm. Maui Yoga and Dance Shala (381A Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808283-4123; maui-yoga.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed, May 22. Kimo is back! George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show present the return of Kimo, Uncle George and Da ‘Ukulele Boyz’ paired with hula dancer Wainani Kealoha. 37.99-78.38. 7:30am.

Napili Kai Beach Resort (5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; slackkeyshow.com

STAGE

‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). 6:30pm. Maui Theatre, f.k.a.

Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for ‘Ulalena (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St.); 1-877-688-4800; mauitheatre.com

22 MAY 16, 2013

“THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVENUE” - Every Sun, Thu, Fri & Sat. ProArts is proud to present Neil Simon’s “The Prisoner of Second Avenue” as the second show of their Spring season. $20 reserved seating, kama’aina nights, with discounts for Hawaii residents are May 4, 9 & 16.

ProArts Playhouse (1280 S. Kihei Rd); 808-4636550; proartspacific.com

FOODIE

MAKENA BEACH INVITES YOU TO MURPHY-GOODE WINERY BBQ - Fri, May 17. Join Makena Beach and Golf Resort at a beach side BBQ featuring Murphy-Goode wines. Enjoy BBQ and wine while watching Maui’s sunset. Call for reservations. $80. 6:30am. Makena Beach & Golf Resort (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888 FIRST ANNUAL BREW FEST BEER DINNER - Fri, May 17. The Maui Brew Festival kicks off its fifth year with a new Maui Brew Fest Beer Dinner. Local ingredients will be highlighted in the evening’s dishes and craft beers. All proceeds go to The Center, benefiting its arts education and cultural programs. $140. 6-9pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 MAUI TAP TAKEOVER PARTY - Sun, May 19. In celebration of American Craft Beer Week, Flatbread Company and Maui Brewing Co., host a pizza and beer night. Sample locally-produced craft beer and special Flatbread pizza pairing during the Maui Homebrewer’s Club brew talk. No cover. 5pm. Flatbread Company (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989; flatbreadcompany.com HULA GRILL’S CHEF TASTING MENU TO BENEFIT HILT - Daily. Hula Grill announced it will donate a portion of the proceeds from its Chef’s Tasting Menu to the Hawaiian Islands Land Trust as part of its Legacy of Aloha Program. The three-course menu is offered daily from 4:45-5:45pm & all evening at the Chef’s Counter. $25.95. 4:30-5:30pm. Hula Grill, Whaler’s Village (2435 Ka’anapali Pwy.); 808-667-6636; hulagrillkaanapali.com VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Tue, May 21. See (and sample!) how Chef Jessica Oshier uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfasts, and desserts. No registration required. Free.

5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; downtoearth.org SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun, May 19. Enjoy a healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Fairmont Kea Lani (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-8754100; fairmont.com JOIN WHOLE FOODS FOR HOLY CANNOLI SUNDAYS - Sun, May 19. Whole Foods offers made to order cannolis with seasonal flavors every Sunday. Bring a friends to share the sweetness every week noon to 3pm. 12-3pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FOODIE FIGHT - Sun, May 19. Join Whole Foods each Sunday for a Food Fight! The stakes are high as each team competes for that week’s Best Recipe. Sample and vote for your favorite dish. Each week the Pineapple Trophy will be awarded to the team with the most votes. Free.

2pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket. com/maui MOUTH WATERING MONDAYS - Mon, May 20. Come and try free samples of what is in season, new or has got us excited each

week. Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAY 16 LED STREET LIGHTING DEMO - The community is invited to attend the county’s LED streetlights demonstration and walking tour. The first four streetlights along Wili Pa Loop will be outfitted with the “smart” light bulbs, allowing the lights to dim every night to save energy. 7-8:30pm. Wailuku Post Office (Wili Pa Loop, Wailuku); 808-2707832; kai.kobayashi@mauicounty.gov POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES - Daily.

Come see Maui’s most talented halaus perform center stage. Free. 7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

FRIDAY, MAY 17 NATIONAL BIKE TO WORK DAY - May is National Bike Month! Exercise and support your environment by participating in National Bike to Work Day. For more info contact the Hawaii Bicycling League. 808-658-0122; hbl.org THE HUI TEACHES: STUDENT & FACULTY SALON OPENING RECEPTION - Hui No’eau is pleased to announce its biennial student salon exhibition, “The Hui Teaches: Student & Faculty Salon,” which celebrates the artist in all of us and recognizes our community’s many creative ideas, methods, and interests. Free. 5-7pm. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; huinoeau.com FINS & FLIPPERS TOUR - Take a closer look at sharks and sea turtles on this exclusive behindthe-scenes encounter. Tours are guided by a knowledgeable ocean naturalist and include the chance to observe supervised feeds at Hammerhead Harbor and Turtle Lagoon. $10 plus admission per guest. Call for reservations. 11:30am.

Maui Ocean Center (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808270-7088; mauioceancenter.com ALOHA FRIDAY MUSICAL JAM - In partnership with Hawai’i on TV, each Friday a different musical style is featured by local artists. Experience Maui at its best!. Free. 11:30am-1:30pm Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

SATURDAY, MAY 18 MAKENA STATE PARK CLEANUP DAY Lend a hand to keep Big Beach clean. Volunteers will work with DLNR to remove invasive plants, clean the beach and wooded areas. Cleanup supplies, water and watermelon will be provide.

Bring work gloves. 9am. Makena-Pu’u Olai State Park (South of Wailea at the end of Wailea Alanui Road.); 808-214-0147; maui-tomorrow.org FIT FOR THE CURE EVENT FIGHTS BREAST CANCER - Wacoal host a local Fit For the Cure event. For every woman participating in the free bra fitting, $2 will be donated to the Susan G Komen for the Cure cancer research fund. The event will be held all day at Macy’s. Free. 10am-5pm.

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3361; queenkaahumanucenter.com SUMMER CAMP FAIR - Looking for summer fun for your keiki? Visit the Summer Camp Fair and check out more than thirty Maui summer program and camp options. Talk with program representatives, get details and sign up on location. 10am-2pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center (275

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/16

5/17

5/18

5/19

5/20-5/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Digiluxe with DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ LaRage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Bilongo 9pm; $5 cover

Brown Chicken Brown Cow String Band 9:30pm; $15 cover

Mvoula Band African Beats 9:45pm; $10 cover

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

Mark Johnston & Lenny Castellanos 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike 10pm; $10 cover

Willie K 10pm; $10

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm / WED - Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm (all no cover)

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

I Want Candy 9pm; no cover

Fresh Inc. 9pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli, 6pm

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool Day, 6pm WED - Jukebox Party, 8pm

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 9pm; no cover

Jordan 6pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON - Amy’s Mix 9pm / TUE - Big John, 10pm / WED - Hump Day Mix

Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

The House Shakers 6:30-9pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 6:30-9pm; no cover

Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; no cover

MON - Scott & Allen / TUE - Thunder & Lightnin / WED - Tom Conway (6:30-9pm)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Rootz n Creation 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pmclose / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

haina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

COMMUNITY HEALTH AND SAFETY AWARENESS EVENT - Learn about safety and check your health stats for free at the First Annual Health and Safety Community Outreach Event.

Participate in live demonstrations by UHMC Wellness Center and Maui Fire Department while dining on local catering by A.K.’s Cafe. Free. 1-4pm.

Pomaika’i Elementary School (410 Hina Ave., Kahului); 808-242-5492; pomaikai.k12.hi.us; islandandbluffsevents@gmail.com

SUNDAY, MAY 19 FREE BLOOD PRESSURE AND CPR CLINIC The American Heart Association is hosting a clinic with free blood pressure screenings and CPR demonstrations. Support May, Stroke Awareness month, and learn how to prevent strokes and respond if a sudden stroke confronts you. Free.

10am-2pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com WHOLE FOODS HOST HOLISTIC NATURAL HEALING CLASS - Whole Foods host a new series of holistic wellness methods taught by Debbie Maghen. Debbie will be focusing on herbal medicines that support physical and emotional needs, cultivate beauty and vitality both internally and externally. Free. 3pm Whole Foods Market (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului); 808-872-3310

PASSION 4 FASHION BOUTIQUE’S SUMMER STYLIN FASHION SHOW - Models glamorize the night with summer colors, fun and fashion at the Passion 4 Fashion Event. Jam to the music and video mix with DJ Big Mike and win free giveaways throughout the night. Free. 1111:30pm. Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy, Lahaina); 808-281-7728; passion4fashionboutique.com

BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF MAUI CLOTHING DRIVE - There’s a clothing drive on the third weekend of every month near the automotive center at Wal-Mart. 10am-2pm. Walmart (101 Pakaula St., Kahului)

BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF MAUI CLOTHING DRIVE - A clothing drive takes place on the third weekend of every month near the automotive center at Wal-Mart. 10am-2pm. Walmart (101 Pakaula St., Kahului)

THE SOFTER SIDE OF JAZZ - Kono’s presents the Softer Side of Jazz with Omar and special guest. Enjoy wine, great food, art, poetry, and ambience. $5 cover. 4-7pm. Kono’s on the Green (550 Lipoa, Kihei); 808-298-9022; omzonemaui. com

YO-GI-OH CARD SESSION - Free. 3pm. La-

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm; no cover TUE - Toxic w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm; no cover WED - DJ J-Zen, 10pm; no cover

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF) for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend! Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need of a good home. For more info, see websites or call. 10am-4pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-446-4126; hawaiianimalrescue.org

Volcanic w/ DJ Playwfire Ono, 10pm; no cover

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

HARD ROCK CAFE

FAMED TATTOO ART CLOSING RECEPTION - Artist Kandi Everett has been tattooing for more than 35 years. Her art has been printed in books, articles, shown in museums and galleries.

Saturday night will be the closing art reception and will include drinks, tattooing and a chance to purchase art. No Cover. 7pm Paia Tattoo Parlor (120 Hana Hwy, Paia); 808-579-8515 / paiatattooparlor@yahoo.com

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

FAMILY MAGIC - All-ages comedy and magic with Lauro Castillio. Free. 11:30am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy, Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

YO-YO DEMONSTRATION - Maui Toy Works presents a Yo-Yo and skill toys workshop and demonstration. Free. 4pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com LINE DANCING MAUI PANIOLO POSSE - Free. 4:30pm Lahaina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy, Lahaina); 808-661-5304; la-

hainacannerymall.com ART-BQ - Every Sunday, enjoy free food and a showcase of Guy’s latest artwork. Free. 6:30pm.

Guy Junker Art Studio (106 Kupuohi St., B-1, Lahaina); 808-661-0923; guyjunker.com

MONDAY, MAY 20 HOALOAH’AINA VOLUNTEER ON VACATION PROGRAM - Pacific Whale Foundation offers a free program, Volunteering on Vacation that gives visitors an opportunity to maintain a new South Maui ocean-side trail, pick up litter and remove invasive species. Free. 7:30-9:30am. 808249-8811 ext. 1; pacificwhale.org WHALE WATCHING - The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will provide a whale watching info booth at the Aquarium’s Harbor Plaza throughout whale season.

9am-1pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; hawaiihumpbackwhale. noaa.gov HULA PERFORMANCE - Original hip-ster stylie performance. Free. 10:30am Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, MAY 21 KIHEI LIBRARY HOST FREE MOVIE NIGHT FOR KEIKI - Bring your keiki to a free showing of Despicable Me at the Kihei Public Library. Movie is rated PG and suitable for ages five and older.

Snacks will be provided. 6pm. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833; librarieshawaii.org ULTIMATE WHALE WATCH - Learn firsthand what it is like to be a whale researcher on a personally guided group tour. This is a special opportunity to interact with Pacific Whale Foundation’s researchers and marine biologists. 7:3011:30am. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808249-8811 ext. 1; pacificwhalestore.org ‘UKULELE LESSONS - Learn some strumming techniques and impress your friends. Free.

5:30pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com MAUI WEIGHT LOSS ALLIANCE - Join Whole Foods for a very special class and meet Jerome, Nutritarian Extraordinaire! Jerome can help you revitalize health & wellness and take back your life.

Free. 6pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 MAUI SOCIETY OF WOMEN ENGINEERS HAPPY HOUR - The Society of Women Engineers Maui will host a happy hour this Wednesday. Women (and men!) interested in engineering, technology and science are welcome to stop by and network. Cost includes pupus and two drinks. $20. 5-7pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com SEA WEES: OCEAN EDVENTURE FOR PRESCHOOLERS - A program for children ages three to five. Each child is accompanied to SeaWees by his or her parent or caregiver. The program features developmentally appropriate earlychildhood practice including music/movement, demonstrations and guided exploration. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-280-3163; pacificwhalestore.org OCCUPY MAUI MEETING - The group’s focus is on foreclosure laws and environmental problems. They want to hear about your issues. Simply attend one of their weekly Wed. meetings to get involved. Free. 5-7pm. At Freedom Lawn or Pavilion at UH Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); occupymaui.com WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter.

6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com

MAY 16, 2013 23

tattoos by Rachel G

808.359.1060

Appointment only 1995 Main St unit 2E •Wailuku www. exoticeyetattoo .com

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT FAST FORWARD WITH DJ KURT

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

THURSDAY MAY 16TH

BILONGO

SALSA + MERENGUE + BACHATA

FRIDAY MAY 17TH

MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY PARTY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS AT 9PM $10 COVER HAPPY HOURS FROM 10PM TO 11PM SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $15 COVER

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW STRINGBAND ALOHA BLUEGRASS

SATURDAY MAY 18TH FROM CONGO

MBAY LOUVOUEZO MVOULA

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM $10 COVER

BAND

BRIAN WHITMAN, TAYLOR WEBB, HANNIBAL BOYD AFRICAN BEATS

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24 MAY 16, 2013

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui.

Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/16

5/17

5/18

5/19

5/20-5/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

WED - Karaoke Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

MON- Open Mic WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHANA GRILL 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Ste. 301, Kahana - 669-4000

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kawika’s Krew 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar, 7-9pm; no cover

Ellen Bellarose & Sam Ahia, 3:30-6:30pm; no cover

Garrett Probst & Damion Emeson, 10:0-12:00pm; no cover

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

Willie K. 9-11pm; $5

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

Maui Blues & Co. or Jarod 7pm; no cover

MON - Red Fish / TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke 2pm-2am; no cover

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

TUE - Free Karaoke, 2pm-2am; no cover

Maui Blues Co. 7:30-10pm; no cover

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MAUI SMUG - The In-Real-Life Forum for All Social Media Users on Maui. Capacity is limited. Be sure to register early. Free (not catered).

4-6:30pm. MEDB’s Malcom Center (1305 North Holopono St., Suite 1, Kihei); mauismug.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Sun, Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Scott & Allen 6:30-9pm; Tue, Thunder & Lightning 6:30-9pm; Wed, Tom Conway 6:30-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 6:309pm; Sat, Salsa Saturdays w/ Dr. Nat: Latin/Salsa 6:30-9pm; Fri, The House Shakers 6:30-9pm.

(744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

MON-TUE - Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles, all 7pm; no cover

Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover

Allure w/ DJ LX 10pm; $5

MON - SIN w/ DJ Blast, 8pm / TUE - Trivia Night, 8pm / WED - Karaoke w/ Dave, 10pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Murrary Thorne 7-9pm; $65 / Trish da Dish Pub Quiz, 9pm12am

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no covr

MON - The Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm / TUE - Timothy Wenk Magic Show 7-9pm/ WED - Willie K., 7pm; $65

HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.

(900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Wainee St Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina); 808-667-6655.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Albert Kaina 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali’i 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina); 808-667-6636.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); (808) 661-4495.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai ); 808-667-0787.

KAHANA GRILL - Thu, Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar 7-9pm; Fri, Jazz Maui Featuring Ellen Bellerose and Shiro Mori 3:30-6:30pm; Sat, Victoria Holman 7-9pm. (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy Ste. 301, Kahana); 808-669-4000.

KIMO’S - Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Fri, Live Music 9-11pm.

(845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm.

(730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri, Justin Phillips 6:309:30pm; Sat, Ben DeLeon 6:30-9:30pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina); 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200.

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations.

Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 8088-667-3200.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Gretchen 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Gretchen 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

Looking for something to do?

Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

MAY 16, 2013 25

2013

Summer Guide

£ IS ON THE WAY! Fairs & festivals, hikes and campouts, watersports and undersea adventures—it’s hard to imagine a place more conducive to summer fun than Maui. As the season of sun dawns, we look at the events and activities that will make

summer sizzle.

Call today for space reservations and color specials!

DON’T

S S I M NCE A H C R YOU A PART! TO BE

DEADLINE: MAY 17TH PUBLISHES: MAY 23RD To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

26 MAY 16, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/16

5/17

5/18

5/19

5/20-5/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

70s, 80s 10pm-1am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Big John / TUE - Industry Night / WED - Paradise w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm; no cover

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Justin 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Gretchen, 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

Just Us 8:30pm; no cover

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Ah-Tim 4pm; no cover

Willie K 10pm; $10

Mishka, 7:30pm; $30 Power Up Comedy 10pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Head High 9pm-1am; $4 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Ernesto and Barbara, 8pm

Levi Paosa 6:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.,Napili); 808-669-1500.

SHERATON MAUI RESORT AND SPA - Daily, Live Dinner Music at The Cliff Dive Bar 6:30-8:30pm.

(2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0031.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Team America 7:30pm; Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011.

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm.

(300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. # 314); 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camaril-

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Karaoke 4pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday / WED - Karaoke Party/Free Pool, 8:30pm TUES- Kimo, 4pm-6pm; no cover WED - Randall Rospond, 4pm-6pm; no cover

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON-TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles Night, 10pm (All sets no cover)

lo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen Trio 6-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, TBA 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Timothy Wenk Magic 7-9pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Wed, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Open Mic Night w/ Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:308:30pm; Sat, Joshua on Maui 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm;

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI

LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR - Sat, Meaghan Owens 7:30-10pm; Fri, Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues & Co. 7:3010pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm; Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-3111.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Friends of Bryan 5:30pm; Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Menehune Music and Bryan and Friends 8-11:30pm; Sun, Fausto’s Guitar 9am-1pm; Every Tue & Sat, Francois’ Piano 5pm.

(500 N. Pu‘unene Ave., Kahului); 808-873-6555.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Fri, Evan Dove 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:308:30pm; Thu, Blues with Mark Johnstone and Lenny Castellanos 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Fri, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Bentley 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Stargenti and Swiss 6-9pm; Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

MAY 16, 2013 27

SPIKE’S SONIC PLAYGROUND - FRIDAY’S 4-7PM

The Business Card District Bachelorette Pole Parties!

• As low as $25 per person • Lahaina studio or in-home

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Get your business card in the hands of our readers for as little as $25.

Contact brad@mauitime.com, or call (808) 283-3260 for more details.

INDOOR CYCLING STUDIO

10 Classes for $96.00 Valid 5/15 to 9/30/2013

Pole Fitness Classes & Workshops Available

Wailea Town Center MON-WED: 8:15am & 5:30pm • TUE-THU: 7:30am • FRI: 8:15am • SAT: 9am

808.283.2606 ThePoleRoom@gmail.com www.thepoleroom.com

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Service Sales Business Net works Point-of-Sale

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• Computer Repair • PC & Mac • New & Used Gear • Business Support • Point of Sale

95 E. Lipoa St @ South Maui Center

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www.computerhale.com

Men’s Enhancers

Japanese Lessons

ESL (English as a Second Language) Lessons Beginner to Advanced level students welcome!

Japanese- English interpretation service also available Legal & real estate transaction, business, parties Call for a free trial lesson and consultation!

• Specializing in carbide circular saw blades up to 16” • Knives, scissors, router and shaper bits • Planer & jointer blades up to 36”

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Maui Language Service Chinese (Mandarin) Lessons

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Chinese-English interpretation service also available Legal & real estate transaction, business, parties Call for a free trial lesson and consultation!

ELECTROLYSIS The only permanent hair removal choice Stop plucking & shaving unwanted hair

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info@mauilanguageservice.com 355 Hukilike St #201A, Kahului HI 96793

115 E Lipoa Street Kihei • 808-875-7070

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28 MAY 16, 2013

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Contact brad@mauitime.com or call (808) 283-3260 *8 week minimum, black & white. Add $10 for full color

Horoscope

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Your mantra this week is: It all balances out. Although this may seem like a Libran sentiment, it more correctly applies to you Bulls right now. The whole clichéd business of new doors opening when old doors slam shut is especially true in your case. Your life’s equilibrium is unshakeable right now (unfortunately forbidding dramatic advances as well as setbacks); however, trusting that gives you a peculiar sense of freedom. You don’t have to kill yourself, ineffectually trying to get ahead; nor do you have to cling to the things you’d like to keep. Since later this year you’re in for so much riotous change that even your adaptable head will spin, enjoy this Cruising Zone while it lasts.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Do you have your Scorpio tattoo yet? Apparently, it’s de rigueur for Scorps to get a tiny version of your namesake inked on your pelvises, advertising your Pluto-ruled prowess to anyone with eyes on your crotches. For supposed loners, this is an awful lot of solidarity. Scorps generally have trouble sharing great spans of intimate territory with each other. Still, you could probably stand to develop or deepen a few of your Scorpionic connections this week.

After all, there are certain places that only your intrepid tribemates go—having companionship in these slightly scary situations could be interesting. Keep your eyes peeled for the telltale Mark of the Scorpio and when you see it, lower your stinger, approach, and make friends.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) You’re a fire-breathing dragon. It would behoove you to consider ways to keep your head cool; the psychological equivalent of a helmet packed in ice would be ideal. Letting temperatures get so high that the mercury explodes from the thermometer will lead to messes you’d rather not have to clean up. Still, there’s no need to go glacier-hiking in Antarctica. Your astrologically agitated state is both curse and blessing. Don some asbestos gloves, and take your inner dragon for a walk on a flameretardant leash. Let him eat some yappy little dogs, corporate thieves or corrupt politicians—just keep him off big buildings and the people you love.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) The mental feat that’s required of you now is akin to remembering your locker combination from sophomore year of high school. The data is probably stored in your brain somewhere—after all, you used it several times a day for a whole year—but accessing it may seem impossible. What if you knew a million dollars lay within? You’d go to much greater lengths to get to it, right? Perhaps you’d hire a hypnotist to help dredge the forgotten memory from your brain, or invent a robot to tirelessly try all 205,379 combinations until the locker opens, or simply buy a blowtorch and blast your way in. Since the rewards awaiting your successful completion of the task at hand are worth more (to you) than $1,000,000, go the extra mile.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Don’t get carried away with your own cleverness. This week, the force of your ideas may carry you along so compellingly that you’ll find yourself on the roof with an innovative, home-designed giant slingshot, preparing to catapult your roommate’s cat into the next county, before you pause to consider whether that’s a smart move. Don’t wait until you see the furry body arcing out of sight before you check yourself. The inspirations that are striking left and right might be brilliant, but taken out of the context of your life their impact is more likely to be negative than not.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) This hasn’t been your most productive season in recent memory, you must admit. If you were a salmon swimming upstream, you’d never make it to the spawning pools. At best you’ve been treading water—certainly not leaping up waterfalls or forging through whitewater rapids. Although being stuck is always frustrating, have hope: this coming week you have a chance to redeem your lack of forward progress in one stroke, like being scooped up in a bucket and airlifted to the river’s source, where you can finally attend to the business you’ve been avoiding all season.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) It’s a messy business, occupying these smelly, sticky, farting bodies. Even if you’re immaculately clean and freshsmelling, you’re likely to notice, frequently, that others aren’t always so diligent about personal upkeep. Beware of elevators and public transportation if catching the occasional whiff of body odor or a sulfurous emanation from someplace further south mortally offends you. However, I’d rather you transcend such silly hang-ups (once you’ve had a kid or a puppy (thus cleaned up plenty of puke and poop) you realize just how ridiculous they are). Virgos are at their best when they’re in touch with their earthiest sides. Get dirty this week, but don’t just rub your hands in potting soil. Get filthy, sweaty, and gross, sans prissiness. Get into it. You know you want to.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) It may be frustrating to pay for stuff you used to get for free, but indulge yourself this week. Self-sacrifice won’t serve our purposes right now. You need to keep spirits high in order to successfully tackle the task I’m charging you with: Turn the increasingly more prevalent economy of scarcity on its head, please, and reinstate or reinvent one of bounty and generosity. Karmic laws dictate that you must give to receive, and since you have more good juju to spare than anyone else right now, we need you to dole it out—and be patient when it takes a while to come back to you. Give to give, not to get; you’ll get a whopping bonus once you’ve forgotten it’s coming to you.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) A missile isn’t the best way to send a message. First off, it’s overkill. Secondly, although the point is clear, it denies choice to the recipients regarding whether or not to be receptive to it. Since you’re in need of willing allies, not reluctant subjugates, soundly reject all the aggressive strategies being proposed to you on so many fronts. Let your motto be the one about honey being more appealing to flies than vinegar, and plot all the ways you can seduce, entice, and otherwise bribe your adversaries to consider (and possibly adopt) your point of view.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) You may feel like you have enough charismatic personal power to rocket to the moon this week, but that would be misleading. You actually have enough shimmering magnetism to fuel a trip much further than that. Set your sights more boldly than you have been, or you’ll be wasting a rare opportunity to see parts of the universe you’d never bothered to imagine before. Use the strongest telescope you can get your hands on, identify the destination of your ambition, and aim exactly that high. Don’t worry about getting back; people who plot their own fall from stardom never make it there in the first place.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Don’t tell me you’re out of tricks. There are fish that “fly”, and some that can walk on adapted fins to find new water. Some burrow in silt or lurk beneath rocks. Others hide in plain sight, or inflate themselves to inedible proportions, or tear their adversaries to shreds with rows of razor-sharp teeth. You’re just that versatile. You may have to dust off some secret techniques you haven’t used in a long while to handle the twisty tangles ahead, but don’t delude yourself into believing that you can’t handle what’s coming yourself, and masterfully.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Remember that scene in Star Wars when our heroes fall into the trash compacter? You, too, are being forced to occupy somewhat smaller dimensions, as virtual walls contract around you. Although there’s no actual danger of being crushed, I’m worried that you could form bad habits that outlive your current compression, like slouching. In order to avoid permanent kinks in your ego when you fold it momentarily, try to think of it differently: you’re not being squashed, you’re being condensed; your radiance has gone from lighthouse to blowtorch—fewer people can see it, but those who can will need goggles.

Enjoy your concentrated intensity while it lasts, but remember to stretch out when you’re done—we need your long-distance shine next week.

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