17.09 Climate Change Is More Severe Than We Thought, August 15, 2013, Volume 17, Issue 09, MauiTime

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UH PROFESSOR RICHARD ZEEBE SAYS CLIMATE CHANGE IS MORE SEVERE THAN WE THOUGHT.

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AUGUST 15, 2013

Contents VOLUME 17

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What is your dream title?

ISSUE 09

✚

COVER: August 15, 2013 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 09 ✚ FREE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Grand Poobah Graphic Designers: Shane Fontanilla, Amy Mendolia Contributors: Jenn Brown (Princess), Toni Colombo, Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Gerlach (Mayor of Tree House), Lauren Hecker, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Rebecca Nakashima, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II

UH PROFESSOR RICHARD ZEEBE SAYS CLIMATE CHANGE IS MORE SEVERE THAN WE THOUGHT.

TAGUMAWATCH

INVESTIGATED

4 10 13 15 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

LEODA'S

PG.5

NEW

PLUS

BUT WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR HAWAII? AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE?

BREAKFAST

PG.13

THE BUTLER

FILM REVIEW

PG.19

PG.10

HOW DID HE DO THAT?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Starship Captain

Cover illustration and design by Darris Hurst

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Sir Firecrotch Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com The Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Senior Executive Badass Proofreader: Dina Wilson

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

Reader Feedback

BY READERS LIKE YOU

HOSPICE MAUI LIKES DETAILS [Ed. Note: The following letter is in response to Mauisphere, which ran in our Aug. 7, 2013 issue.]

Hospice Maui is not a “firm” it is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization that has been serving Maui since 1978 and was incorporated as a non-profit in Maui 1981. It began as a grassroots program in response to community need.

Hospice Maui has already been approved to open a brand new in-patient facility that will begin construction in January 2014.

The entire community of Maui has worked to contribute to the Hospice Maui Hospice Hale project. Both the State of Hawaii and the County of Maui, as well as hundreds of Maui residents have contributed funds toward this important project.

Hospice Maui’s decision to reduce the size of their planned facility from 12 beds to 5 beds was a responsible decision based on due diligence by its local Board of Directors who made the fiscally the sound decision that makes the best use of existing resources. Hospice Maui’s board of directors include a local Financial Planner, a Bank of Hawaii manager, a Hospital facilities manager, and other business owners on Maui as well as family members of former patients.

With the five-bed facility approved for construction at Hospice Maui and the collaborative effort between Hospice Maui and Hale Makua, Hospice Maui believes there will be sufficient space available to serve hospice patients who for whatever reason cannot be made comfortable at home. Hospice Maui’s five-bed facility,

Hospice Hale, will be a brand new facility built specifically to provide the highest quality hospice care available.

Hospice Maui’s Hospice Hale will be located adjacent to its current Hospice Care Coordination center that houses doctors, hospice nurses, hospice nurse aides, social workers, and bereavement counselors.

We appreciate your time and attention to detail. We will continue to focus our resources on excellent patient care and serving the seriously ill residents of Maui and their families with the compassion and dignity they deserve at this very difficult time in their lives.

-Kimber Howard-Carhart, Hospice Maui, via email

LOVES DRONE STORY Thank you for your recent article detailing the use of drones in Hawaii (“Drones Over Hawaii,” Aug. 1 2013).

With all the [Edward] Snowden revelations, it was a very timely cover story on a very troubling subject. Unfortunately, with the rapid pace of technological innovation, it seems things can only get worse for advocates of personal privacy and defenders of the Fourth Amendment.

Perhaps, for example, you’ve seen the stories about insect-size drones already being developed? Is this the future Americans want? If not, we must all move quickly and emphatically to impose strict limits on law enforcement, the military, and intelligence agencies to prevent them from becoming the evil overlords of a dystopian America.

-Bill Geoghegan, via email

Send your feedback to editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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News & Views

QUIZunderstood 2. On Aug. 11, flags across Hawaii flew at half-staff in honor of Robert Kiyoshi Fukuda, who died in July at age 91.

While Fukuda worked in a variety of public service roles throughout his life, what job did he hold while working for the Territory of Hawaii from 1953-1959?

A. Attorney General B. Deputy Attorney General C. Treasurer D. Deputy Treasurer E. Lieutenant Governor

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AUGUST 15, 2013

PHOTO BY CARLTON ABAS - FLICKR.COM

NOW H NOW HIRING IRING A ALL LL P POSITIONS! OSITIONS!

1. Although the U.S. Air Force replaced the University of Hawaii as the contractor running the Maui High Performance Computing Center in Kihei back in August 2012, the school is still running the supercomputer, reported Pacific Business News on Aug. 12 of this year. Who is supposed to be running the computing center these days?

A. Boeing B. Booz Allen C. Cray, Inc. D. Science Applications International Corp.

E. Universal Exports

3.

Scientists have been using old Hawaii restaurant menus to track local fish populations, NPR reported on Aug. 9.

According to that story, which of the following fish did NOT appear on Hawaii menus back in the early 20th century?

A. Grouper B. Flounder C. Red Snapper D. Ahi E. None of the above

See answers, page 29

By Anthony Pignataro

News & Views

Coconut Wireless est beacon for freedom, live, local, and late breaking news that bears the name of Maui’s most infamous traffic officer and no one will keep that light from shining.”

MAUI NEWS FUMBLES COURT RULING STORY

Free TAGUMAWatch!

TAGUMAWATCH UNDER FIRE

Overheard WOMAN: “Here, I have a book for you.”

MAN: “Tom Brokaw!? The guy who never takes the marbles out of his mouth when he talks?”

-Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot, Aug. 12

PHOTO BY D RAMEY LOGAN - WIKIMEDIA

At press time, the TAGUMAWatch page on Facebook has more than 12,800 likes– an impressive tally of fans, especially since the site is not even two months old. Named for Keith Taguma, Maui’s most famous police officer, the site quickly became insanely popular on Maui–so much so that Hawaii News Now even did a story on it back in July.

“The “TAGUMAWatch” Facebook page has already racked up more than 5,900 ‘likes’ in just four days,” the Honolulu news station reported on July 10. “The site is filled with stories from drivers who have been ticketed

by Taguma for speeding, not buckling up, even having tint that is too dark. People are also snapping photos of him.”

Since then, the site has focused less on Taguma and more on alerting users to more public service news items like auto accidents and storm warnings. Nonetheless, it’s attracted the attention of the County of Maui, which apparently believes the site constitutes harassment of Officer Taguma and is seeking to determine who maintains it. What’s more, they’ve already interviewed at least one suspect, who is himself a county employee.

The suspect is Neldon “AZD” Mamuad, an aide to Maui County Councilman Don Guzman (he also co-chaired Guzman’s 2012 campaign) and member of the county’s Liquor Commission. When asked whether he was, in fact, behind the Facebook page, Mamuad said cryptically, “I cannot confirm or deny that claim.” But Mamuad did say that County Corporation Counsel Pat Wong held an “informal meeting” with him “about a week or two ago” about the TAGUMAWatch page, though he says “nothing came of it.”

It’s easy to see why the county would be interested in Mamuad. From 1997 to 2007, Mamuad was a DJ for 98.3FM. Known by his nickname AZD on that station’s “Big Phat Morning Show,” Mamuad created a “Taguma Watch” feature that ran around 2004, 2005 and focused attention on Taguma. Saying he had a “political” situation with management

in 2007, Mamuad left the radio station, but says today that the split was “amicable.”

When asked to comment about the investigation, County of Maui spokesman Rod Antone said, “The county has a very strict harassment policy and I can’t talk about personnel matters.”

Now I posted all of the above information on our Mauifeed.com blog on Friday, Aug. 9.

Within minutes of that blog post going live, TAGUMAWatch had not only linked to the story, but had set up a new Fundrazr page that asking users to donate money to “help us withstand any legal attacks towards the TAGUMAWatch...” As of Wednesday, that site has raised $145.

What’s more, TAGUMAWatch modified its page by adopting a new profile picture of a woman with her mouth covered with tape labeled “FREEDOM,” then exchanging that for a shot from the movie The Watch.

“The threat of an investigation can shake the foundation of our coalition, but they cannot touch the foundation of the people of Maui,” stated a posting from the page’s administrator on Aug. 10. “These acts may be able to shatter the steel in our command center, but they cannot dent the steel of our resolve. TAGUMAWatch was targeted for investigation because we’re the bright-

Not sure if you’ve noticed, but on Aug. 1 The Maui News finally erected a paywall on its website (Mauinews.com). From now on, visitors to the paper’s website will have to pay to read articles that, for the last dozen or so years, the paper has saw fit to give away to readers for free (and news organizations like Mauinow.com still offer for free). But don’t think the News isn’t throwing in something extra for readers–in fact, they seem to have instituted a new policy of publishing two stories where in the past they’d just file one.

I’m referring to a couple stories that ran last week concerning a recent Hawaii Supreme Court decision in the case of Daniel Kanahele v. Maui County Council. In that case, Kanahele–a Maui County resident–sued saying the the Council’s Land Use Committee in 2007 and the Council itself in 2008 violated the state’s Open Meetings Law during hearings on the proposed Honua‘ula (Wailea 670) project.

The high court agreed with Kanahele–to

a point–and said the County Council violated the so-called “Sunshine Law” by circulating 14 written memoranda that weren’t part of the public meeting. Though the court didn’t overturn the project, they did call for Kanahele to get attorney’s fees–a clear sign that he’d won a significant victory.

After the ruling, Kanahele and his attorney, Lance Collins, received numerous calls of congratulations from good government activists. They were thus surprised to open The Maui News on the morning of Aug. 9 and find that they’d actually lost. “Court: No violation of law in OK of Honua‘ula” said the headline, which was written by Maui News City Editor Brian Perry.

What’s more, the story contained copious quotes from County Council Chairperson Gladys Baisa’s press release dismissing the ruling. Also, readers had to wade through more than two-thirds of the story to find out that, in fact, Kanahele had won a victory.

Needless to say, Kanahele was perturbed, and he emailed Perry that morning. “I am disappointed by the headline you chose to use ‘Court: No Violation of Law...’ which contradicts what you reported in your article, that there was a violation of the ‘sunshine law,’ which is certainly true, for that is the Supreme [Court’s] unanimous conclusion,”

Where the Supreme Court lives

Kanahele wrote to Perry. “And, I am surprised you didn’t contact any of the plaintiff’s or our attorney, Lance Collins, to get our input and hear our side of the story and report about that in your article. That would seem to be a fair and balanced thing to do.”

Collins said he talked to Perry later that day, and on Saturday, Aug. 10, The Maui News published a new story (which was strangely missing a byline) titled “Plaintiffs: ‘More than half the loaf’ in ruling” that finally, belatedly told the whole story of the court ruling.

“The court does not award attorneys’ fees to people who lose cases,” Collins dryly noted at the end of the story. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

AUGUST 15, 2013

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AUGUST 15, 2013

By Rebecca Nakashima & Anthony Pignataro

News & Views IT'S BEEN WEEKS SINCE THE MAUI NEWS PUT UP THEIR ONLINE PAYWALL

MauiSphere HOW TO FIGHT H F FISHING LINE DEBRIS

PHOTO COURTESY PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION

Lauren Campbell and her bin

Senator Mazie Hirono, D-Hawaii, has been chosen by the American Bar Association as one of five female attorneys to be honored with the 2013 Margaret Brent Women Lawyers of Achievement Award.

Beginning in 1991, the award recognizes the accomplishments of women lawyers who excel in their fields, opening the way for other women to follow.

“The Margaret Brent Awards celebrate the extraordinary achievements of female lawyers who have significantly contributed to the advancement of women in the profession,” said Mary B. Cranston, chair of the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession, in an Aug. 8 news release. “Our honorees’ accomplishments serve as an inspiration to women throughout the nation.”

From her academics at UH Manoa and Georgetown to her political career in the U.S. House of Representatives and the Senate, Hirono has sought to become an advocate for unrepresented people. Creating a way past barriers of her own, Hirono is also Hawaii’s first female senator, the first AsianPacific American woman elected to the U.S. Senate and the first Buddhist in the Senate.

The awards will be presented on Aug. 11 at the Moscone Center West in San Francisco. Sara Holtz, Gladys Kessler, Marygold Shire Melli and Therese M. Stewart were named as the other honorees.

-Rebecca Nakashima

The Pink Paddlers

PINK PADDLERS WANT YOU Ever see the “pinks” at Sugar Beach in Kihei in the morning? They show up every Tuesday and Thursday morning at that beach to paddle. Officially known as the Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers, they’re a nonprofit outrigger canoe organization that helps cancer survivors reclaim their lives by regaining their strength. With experienced instruction and encouraging support, membership in the club is open to all Maui cancer survivors and visitors. The first paddle is free, and an annual membership is available for $125.

Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers is a sister organization of Maui Canoe Club and started in 2006 with the help of the Abreast-in-a-Boat program in Canada. With the tagline “Challenging cancer, Creating community, Promoting hope,” they use traditional Hawaiian outrigger canoes to create a mix of fitness and fun while building confidence and friendship.

On Oct. 5-6, Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers will partner with Pacific Cancer Foundation’s fifth Annual Paddle for Life on a voyage from Maui to Lanai with a crew largely consisting of cancer survivors and current cancer patients. In addition to raising funds for cancer treatment programs, the trip is intended to inspire others by showing the amazing potential for life after cancer.

-Rebecca Nakashima

which will be available for purchase at the event. The night will also feature work from Maui-based photographer Daniel Sullivan and his most recent project of hiking the wild landscapes of the ancient King’s Trail.

The Merwin Conservancy began in 2010 to preserve the legacy of Poet Laureate/Maui resident W.S. Merwin for the benefit of future writers and botanists.

By engaging people with Merwin’s work through events and media, they hope to reinforce the value of the environment and the arts in the community.

Tickets start as $25 with special packages also available. For more information or to purchase tickets to The Green Room, visit the conservancy’s website Merwinconservancy.org or call 808-633-6140.

-Rebecca Nakashima ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MERWIN CONSERVANCY STARTS LITERARY SERIES The Merwin Conservancy presents The Green Room, a new literary series that will explore literature, art and nature.

The Green Room’s opening event will be held on Aug. 31, 2013 at Fort Faught Studio in Makawao (200 Kaluanui Rd.) from 6:30-9:30pm. It will feature a reading by acclaimed author Alexander Maksik from his latest novel A Marker To Measure Drift,

PHOTO BY MATT VALENTINE

Foundation, understands this very well.

“Fishing line is nearly invisible, and as a plastic, never degrades in the environment,” she said in an Aug. 12 PWF press release.

“It can last for hundreds of years and is responsible for entangling wildlife such as sea turtles, monk seals, sea birds and corals.”

With PWF naturalist Mike Donohue and intern Emily Walker, the three helped develop special fishing line recycling bins. Then they had to figure out where to place them.

“The three worst spots were Mala Wharf, the rock wall fronting Ma’alaea

ABA HONORS SENATOR MAZIE HIRONO

PHOTO COURTESY MANAOLANA

Of all the forms of trash that humans let collect in the ocean, monofilament fishing line is among the most insidious.

According to a relatively recent National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) pamphlet called “Reeling in Marine Debris,” old fishing line can “collect under water on pier pilings, posing a threat to animals that swim in and around them. This abandoned line can ghost fish–continue to catch marine species–for many years. Fishing line, nets, rope and other debris can also wrap around boat propellers and clog seawater intakes, causing costly engine damage and becoming a safety hazard.” What’s more, that same NOAA pamphlet states that a 1998 study of Hawaii waters indicates that fishing line debris “caused significant damage to cauliflower coral colonies,which provide important habitat for fish and invertebrates.”

There is no single solution to dealing with such debris, which makes up a significant portion of the trash we find on local beaches. Lauren Campbell, conservation manager for the Pacific Whale

Harbor and Kahului Harbor,” Campbell said in the press release. “In my first sweep of Ma’alaea, I collected over 200 feet of line. Three months later I went back and again collected another 100 feet.”

Once they place the bins (there is currently just one, at Kahului Harbor), volunteers will send off whatever line is collected to the Berkley Pure Fishing Co. in Iowa, which recycles the line into tackle boxes, toys and other plastic items. According to Pacific Whale Foundation, Berkley has so far collected 9 million miles worth of fishing line from around the nation.

Residents can also take their old fishing line to New Maui Fishing Supply and Maui Sporting Goods in Wailuku, West Maui Sports and Fishing Supply in Lahaina and Hooked Up Fishing Supply in Kihei.

For more information, call PWF’s Conservation Department at 808-856-8304 or email them at conservation@pacificwhale.org.

-Anthony Pignataro

Poet Laureate W.S. Merwin

AUGUST 15, 2013

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AUGUST 15, 2013

IRONIES An atheist “church” in Lake Charles, La., run by lapsed Pentecostal Jerry DeWitt, conducts periodic services with many of the trappings expected by the pious–except for the need to believe in a supreme being. Such “churches” (reported The New York Times and Washington Post in coincidental stories the same day in June) can help soothe the “biological” needs for survival and avoidance of loneliness by congregational rituals (such as celebrating a sabbath) and in helping find meaning “in something other than (oneself).” For example, atheist Sigfried Gold praised a “rigorous prayer routine” (beseeching a “vivid goddess he created”) in overcoming his weight problem.

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At a June hearing, a Philadelphia judge became so exasperated at defendant Robert Williams’ seeming cluelessness about his need to keep his probation appointments that she ordered him to take “etiquette” classes before returning to court. Williams, a rap singer and budding music mogul still under court supervision on gun and drug charges from 2008, cavalierly defended his inability to find time for his probation officer by explaining that he was a busy man, working with seven “artists,” with a demanding travel schedule, and uninhibitedly using social media (creating posts that, allegedly, led to threats against the probation officer). Williams, of course, was accompanied to court by a several-man entourage.

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News & Views

News Of The Weird PRIORITIES

salon wellness spa

AUGUST SPECIALS!

By Chuck Shepard

The business website Quartz reported in June that a popular consumer item in North Korea’s perhaps-improving economy is the refrigerator, made in China and increasingly available as a reward to stellar performers among civil servants and other elites. The appliances, however, cannot reliably store food because the country’s electric grid is so frequently offline and are mostly just status symbols. One item Quartz says often gets displayed in the refrigerator: books.

OUR LITIGIOUS SOCIETY Shower rooms in health clubs are slippery enough, but Marc Moskowitz, 66, cited the one at the Bally Total Fitness gym on E. 55th St. in New York City as especially dangerous, according to his recent lawsuit to recover expenses for a broken shoulder suffered in a fall. Moskowitz claimed that so much gay male sex was occurring in the shower and locker-room area (unsupervised by Bally) that he had probably slipped on semen.

COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS Rodger Kelly was arrested in St. George, Utah, in June for allegedly raping a female neighbor, but he told police that he committed the act only to “save” her, since he had discovered her “cold” and unconscious. He had violated her body only “to try and get her temperature up,” according to the police report.

And the low-price air carrier GoAir of New Delhi announced in June that in the future it would hire only females for the cabin crew–because they weigh less than men (and expects eventually to save the equivalent of $4 million annually in fuel based on average weights).

HOT JUSTICE In May, former schoolteacher Kathleen Cawthorne, 33, of Rustburg, Va., successfully negotiated a reduction in her 11-year sentence for having sex with an underage student. Cawthorne’s punishment was set at only four months in prison when she presented the judge with a clinical diagnosis of “hypersexuality,” supposedly showing that she had little ability to control her desire to seduce the boy.

PERSPECTIVE In May, a jury in Tampa decided that Ralph Wald, 70, was not guilty of murdering a 32-year-old man he had shot in the back three times. He said he had caught the man having sex with his wife (successfully claiming that he thought the man was a dangerous intruder in his home). But Marissa Alexander, 34, of Jacksonville, was sentenced last year to 20 years in prison for “aggravated assault” for merely firing a warning shot during an altercation with her estranged husband. The man, Rico Gray, is a serial domestic abuser and admitted that he was threatening Alexander that night and that she never actually pointed her gun directly at him. However, the judge denied Alexander use of the “stand your ground” defense because she had declined to simply walk away from Gray.

FETISHES ON PARADE According to Chicago police, Gerardo Perez, 50, broke away while on a tour in May of the Chicago Animal Care and Control Facility because he had been struck with a sexual attraction. He was discovered minutes later on his hands and knees beside a pit bull, “appearing to have just had sex with the animal,” according to a report on WMAQ-TV. (2) Shaun Orris, 41, was charged with disorderly conduct in Waukesha, Wis., in June after raising a ruckus outside the Montecito Ristorante Lounge, harassing passersby by loudly expressing his “constitutional right” to have sex with goats. ■

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AUGUST 15, 2013

9

UH PROFESSOR RICHARD ZEEBE SAYS CLIMATE CHANGE IS MORE SEVERE THAN WE THOUGHT.

BUT WHAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR HAWAII? AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE?

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Y

ou should go to the beach today.

It doesn’t have to be Ka‘anapali or Wailea Beach either–Hookipa, Baldwin or Ukumehame will do. It doesn’t need to be a long trip, requiring you to bake for eight hours under the sun’s UV radiation. A quick trip will be fine–just for enough time to appreciate the wonders of the shoreline. Take off your slippers and stand in the sand a few minutes. Walk into the shallows and let the ocean water lap around your ankles and swirl around beneath your soles.

If not today, then tomorrow or this weekend at the latest. Oh, and take your kids. That’s the most important part.

One of the things that makes writing about climate change so challenging is that the scientists who do the research and write the papers that explain what’s happening in our atmosphere are generally loathe to predict what their increasingly alarming find-

10 AUGUST 15, 2013

ings will mean in terms of people and how we will live our lives. They do this for a couple reasons, I think. First, because they are scientists, and as such are taught to be very precise in both how they go about testing hypotheses and how they interpret their results. And second, because there is small but very vocal group of American politicians, activists and corporations who spend vast sums of money denouncing the science and scientific method behind climate change research as bogus and fraudulent because, quite simply, they make ever vaster sums of money from doing the kinds of things (oil and natural gas production, mainly) that lead to the pumping of so much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that our entire planet is warming.

Put simply, there’s nothing fun in writing about climate change. The science–chemistry, physics, geology and oceanography–can

be extremely technical. Jargon and mathematics (the great nemesis of journalism) is everywhere. And when you finally do track down some agency or scientist’s statement about what increasing CO2 levels in the atmosphere or lowering pH values in the ocean will actually mean to life and society over the next century, chances are the statements are vague and ambiguous.

To be honest, it’s much easier to just chuck it all and go to the beach–except given current climatic trends, beaches might possibly become a thing of the past.

Seems impossible. But isn’t the net result of all this? More and more CO2 gets trapped in the atmosphere, world temperatures rise, massive ice sheets in Greenland break up and melt, raising the ocean’s level, which creeps up coastlines, eroding beaches and flooding near-shore developments. Here’s how the U.S. Environmental Protection

Agency (EPA)’s current website on the effects of climate change puts it: “In the Pacific, summer precipitation and the frequency of heavy downpours is projected to increase. Rising sea levels are likely to increase the frequency and severity of floods during storms, as well as to erode and inundate coastlines.”

Erode and inundate coastlines. That means sandy beaches like Kam 2 will give way to the rocky walls that line the shore at Kam 3. Even worse, the soft sands that make up the shallows will give way to tree stumps, now-useless seawalls and road beds.

Think about that the next time you’re waiting in line at the Costco gas station.

DOING THE MATH On Aug. 5, the University of Hawaii’s communications office sent out a press release titled “Carbon emissions to impact climate be-

PHOTO BY BROCKEN INAGLORY - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Got ice?

“I’m not fear-mongering,” he told me.

“We have to be careful. These things take time.

There is a large probability that big ice sheets will melt, but it won’t happen overnight... This is a pretty dramatic event if you look over the last 100 million years.”

Since most of us don’t take into account things that happened within the last 100 million years, Zeebe is saying that we haven’t seen current carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere in a long, long time.

“What we’re doing right now is kind of crazy,” Zeebe said during a 2012 college lecture that is available for viewing on Vimeo.

“It is ridiculous in terms of if you look at the history, of what happened in the past. If you want to see CO2 levels–where we’re going to go if we keep doing what we’re doing–we’re going to rise CO2 levels in the atmosphere up to levels we have not seen for 30 million years. If we look at rates of the CO2 we’re pumping into the system we probably have to go back 56 million years.”

The end result of Zeebe’s recent study is astounding: the climate change trends scientists are observing now–trends that began with Western industrialization two centuries ago– will likely continue for tens or even hundreds of thousands of years.

“Ten, 15 years ago, people put out scenarios as to where we’d be,” Zeebe told me, emphasizing that on this point he was expressing his personal opinion. “We’re at the top [of those scenarios]. We’re business as usual, but close to the worst case scenarios.

It may take another 20 years to get a binding protocol on carbon emissions.”

Business as usual is right. Fracking companies on the Mainland are shattering the ground (and possibly contaminating water tables) as fast as they can to extract precious natural gas. The biggest environmental issues in the U.S. right now involve whether to build the proposed Keystone oil pipeline and how much oil to dig out of the frozen Alaskan north. Sure, electric cars are here, but many draw their electrical juice from coalfired plants and most people still drive cars equipped with internal combustion engines anyway. And over in the U.S. Senate, Republican James Inhofe from oil-rich Oklahoma is always a good source of “skepticism” on those crazy climate change scientists.

“I have offered compelling evidence that catastrophic global warming is a hoax,” Inhofe said in a Senate speech in 2003. “That conclu-

THINGS TO COME In my interview with Zeebe, he very politely but carefully refused to predict what his findings would mean for the world in terms of species extinction, storm severity and so forth. But in that video of his lecture from 2012, he talks about coming up with an “analog” or model for understanding climatic changes.

“There cannot be a perfect analog,” he said back then. “But you can look in the past and you can try to understand these kinds of changes that will tell us something in terms of

a case study–what may happen.”

The best analog is what Zeebe calls the “Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum”–a time in history many millions of years ago when the surface temperature of the Earth rose five to eight degrees Celsius for 50,000-plus years.

That, according to Zeebe, led to “mass extinctions in deep sea sediments” and “major reorganization/dispersal of mammals.”

Again, these statements are both vague and subject to change. But our taxpayer-funded friends at the EPA have something a bit more specific, again online at their climate change effects webpage. Here are excerpts from the sections that deal with Hawaii: • “In the Pacific Islands, heavy rainfall is projected to increase, which may lead to more frequent flooding that could compromise the quality of water supplies and affect crop yields.”

• “In Hawaii, reefs are estimated to bring in $360 million each year, and are valued at more than $10 billion... Reefs already face serious threats from water pollution. Warmer, more acidic coastal waters would likely serve as a further stress on many reefs.”

• “In the Pacific, almost all communities derive more than 25% of their animal protein from fish. Changes in ocean temperatures could cause migratory shifts in fish species and damage to fish habitats.

These impacts would exacerbate existing stresses on the fisheries, such as those from pollution and overfishing, and ultimately may lead to a decline in the abundance and health of fishery populations.”

Taking all that in, it’s clear why some cling to Inhofe’s oil-saturated fantasies.

Think of how much easier the future would be if climate change was bogus. Thankfully though, Inhofe–powerful as he is–is part of a minority around the world.

“Our planet as a whole is becoming a warmer place,” Acting Administrator of the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said when the 2012 State of the Climate report, which drew on the work of 384 scientists, came out earlier this month. “Count on the future being statistically a lot like the past.” ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

PHOTO BY FOREST AND KIM STARR - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

yond the day after tomorrow.” The title was a slightly goofy play off the semi-popular 2004 movie The Day After Tomorrow in which climate change leads to an overnight ice age, but the actual news release was dead serious.

“Future warming from fossil fuel burning could be more intense and longer-lasting than previously thought,” stated the news release.

“This prediction emerges from a new study by University of Hawai‘i at Manoa oceanographer Richard Zeebe, who includes insights from episodes of climate change in the geologic past to inform projections of man-made future climate change.The study is published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.”

Zeebe, who is originally from Germany, has been doing research at UH for the last decade. A trained physicist, he’s been studying climate change for twice that amount of time. And what he’s done now, he told me in a recent phone interview, was to look at climate change using what scientists call fast and slow feedbacks–changes in the planet, depending on how much time they take. A fast feedback in climate change is something like snowfall or cloud cover, while a slow feedback would be the size of land ice or the spread of vegetation.

“A lot of climate studies only look until the end of 2100,” Zeebe said. “The reason for this is that most people are interested in the next couple of decades. But if you go beyond 2100, there are other feedbacks that are slow–like changes in glaciers and large land ice sheets.”

Basically, Zeebe studied feedbacks that spanned millenia in the past. The results, Zeebe told me, surprised him.

“The calculations showed that man-made climate change could be more severe and take even longer than we thought before,” Zeebe is quoted as saying in the news release. “Although we will not see immediate effects by tomorrow–some of the slow processes will only respond over centuries to millenia–the consequences for long-term ice melt and sea level rise could be substantial. Politicians may think in four-year terms but we, as scientists, can and should think in much longer terms. We need to put the impact that humans have on this planet into a historic and geologic context.”

This is where trying to communicate about climate change gets dicey. Zeebe is using terms like “severe” and “take even longer,” but he’s also quick to say that he doesn’t want to sound alarmist.

sion is supported by the painstaking work of the nation’s top climate scientists.”

What makes science so believable and dependable is that it’s open to peer scrutiny. And sure, honest scientists disagree about various research here and experiments there, but using words like “hoax” to describe the science behind climate research is beyond disingenuous. Given that in 2012 Inhofe doubled down by writing a book called The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future, it’s a pretty easy bet that the good Senator hasn’t altered his views.

For Inhofe and his Big Oil buddies (the Center for Responsive Politics says he’s already raised $192,650 from the oil and gas industry for his 2014 re-election campaign, and took in nearly $445,000 from them in 2008), climate change science indeed threatens them and their whole way of life.

I can think of nothing more infuriating than to spend more than a century in charge of the world, moving millions of people and machines around the world while funding a government that invades and topples the regimes who happen to sit atop all that sweet, sweet crude, only to have a bunch of eggheads come in and say your actions are causing so much destruction that our children’s children’s children’s children’s children’s children will still be dealing with it.

Then there are those, who because of ignorance or a slavish devotion or religious dogma (or perhaps both), simply don’t believe in climate change. To a scientist like Zeebe, their “disbelief” is a non sequitur– like refusing to believe the sun is a star or that purple is a color. “‘Do you believe in climate change?’ I think is not a very intelligent question because it’s about scientific evidence,” he said on the 2012 video.

Goodbye beach

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Food & Drink

Just like Grandma’s Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop now serves breakfast ner. Whisenant’s ahi Benedict is the shining glory–glistening, seared ahi cross sections resting on a perfectly poached egg bathed in Hollandaise sauce. It mirrors its counterpart, the seared ahi sandwich, on the inside with avocado, pesto made with local basil, apricot tomato jam.

It’s all built atop of rye toast. If rye isn’t your thing, feel free to swap it out with one of their other homemade breads like butter white or multigrain, but give it a try with rye at least once. It’s crazy good.

The Ham’n Benedict harkens back to the Ham’n Sandwich–the same amazing Duroc Ui Cross and Brayzlee Dutro-Perez show ham makes a breakfast off the breakfast dishes at Leoda's appearance with the pesto, apricot tomato jam and poached egg. Warning: this may make you want to order a lunch Ham’n drenched in Hollandaise. But 820 Olowalu Village Rd. if you’re neither a pork or fish-atarian, then 808-662-3600 the Veggie Pattie Bene on multigrain may hit the spot. I’ve even seen pastrami lovers sub Leodas.com in their favorite meat into the Benedict, so I’m convinced that the staff here will take n the less than two years that kindly to special requests.

Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop has Leoda’s Kitchen menu is based on old been open, it’s reached near-legschool diner charm and homemade bread endary status with island pie lovand pies. Then they add veggies plucked ers and has become a favorite for from island soil, handmade jams and those of us lucky enough to grind there. sauces and high quality meats and cheeses The little Olowalu outpost has nearly five to go with it all. Leoda’s is keen to add stars on all its Yelp reviews and makes fans bits that appeal to our modern palates– of visitors and residents alike. Now they sprigs of watercress, fresh local fish, garlic have something for the early birds to love: aioli. For this reason, the breakfast hour is a breakfast menu designed by Chef Marcus quickly buzzing with foodies and on soWhisenant and Pastry Chef Shelley Taylor. cial media sites, so much so the morning The breakfast borrows heavily from I came in to try the Ahi Benedict they had proven winners of Leoda’s lunch and din-

sold out on the weekend. So I waited for the fish monger to show up.

“The fresh ahi is so beautiful to work with,” sous chef Richard Barnes told me.

“The breakfast menu is hearty and all of the ingredients are wonderful. People are really taking to it. This weekend we got so busy, it was a rainy day on Saturday, we got cleared out of the ahi. But it’s worth the wait.”

Chef Taylor’s homemade yogurt was also something I had to try. You rarely hear of a kitchen making yogurt, though before the industrialization of the dairy industry that was pretty common. The parfait starts with her yogurt, then a layer of her granola (coconut, almond and honey) and is finally topped off with bite-sized strawberry chunks. Greek yogurt is one of the trendiest things on the planet to eat, and it’s no won-

perception of driving the Pali. Once it was a drag, but nothing can be a drag when you have a hand-held pie in your hand. At lunch and dinner they come in sweet and savory, veggie, fruit and meat styles. Leoda’s kept the hand-held pie on the breakfast menu with a bacon and egg version that features spinach cream cheese, and a meatless version of that with just egg and vegetables. These hot pockets of flaky crust and delicate cheesy egg filling don’t disappoint. Lucky, I don’t commute over the Honoapi’ilani Highway or these would be calling my name every morning.

The sweet side of their breakfast gets its perfection from French toast served two ways. There’s a traditional French toast made with Launiupoko eggs and butter white bread, but you can swap that to hapa or multigrain just as easy. But their coconut French

Leoda's Kitchen & Pie Shop

I

Coco French Toast

Ahi Benedict

der Leoda’s made their own yogurt, though theirs transcends Chobani times 10. The smooth and tangy fresh yogurt meets up with Taylor’s crunchy granola with almonds and honey and the tart strawberry. I kept dipping in to finish all the yogurt.

The decadent “Eggs, Frittatas & Benes” section of the menu may lead you to believe that you can skip the “Bake Shop” list, but don’t give in. Breakfast here requires appetizers. Sip on a coffee while you nibble on a savory biscuit before the next course comes.

It’s the lightest, fluffiest biscuit you’ll ever taste, and it has cheddar and herbs throughout. I sure hope they come up with a gravy to pour all over this, but for now, their delicious salted butter will do nicely.

The frittatas are scrambled eggs enveloped in a casserole of veggies and meat. The strata at Leoda’s includes potato, cheddar, onions, ham and mushroom in one version, and a veggiefriendly Chef’s Farm selection in the other.

Both are accompanied by creme fraiche.

Oh, and if you’re in the mood for a breakfast sandwich, just ask. Theirs is served on soft fresh baked Hapa bread with an egg fried your way and bacon, butter lettuce, avocado, sprouts and cheddar. We added tomato to ours.

If you’ve previously dined at Leoda’s, then you may be familiar with their hand-held pies. These treats have forever changed my

toast is so pretty that you may hesitate to dig in. The egg battered bread is coated and crusted with coconut, then fried. Then the slices are doused in a coconut creme Anglaise that’s subtle but not too sweet. It aligns perfectly with the flavors in the bread and adds extra moistness to the dish. A healthy dose of cut strawberries covered mine, adding color and flavor to the French toast.

Breakfast starts at 7am and when you arrive the dessert case is already packed full of pies ready to go home with you. The coffee is selfserve, and you can actually fix yourself a cup while you figure out your breakfast courses.

Manager Rosie Robbins says the whole team works like a family, and that’s what keeps the charm of Leoda’s going strong. When you dine here from the counter to the table, the feeling of gnashing at a farmhouse, Grandma’s or a favorite diner is very much alive.

“Front of the house and back of the house, all work as together as a team,” says Robbins. “We move together to make this experience the best we can for our customers. Everyone is happy with what they do here–You’re going to get a lot of smiles when you come here. It’s contagious.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

AUGUST 15, 2013 13

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A&E

Ambassadors of Aloha This Monday you can visit the Hokule‘a at Honolua Bay

PHOTO BY HONGKONGHUEY - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Then by May 2014 they will sail for Tahiti.

Living in balance with the environment and bridging the gap between what is modern and ancient are key messages they will take with them, says Lehua Kamalu, one of the new generation of crew members aboard the PVS vessels.

“This is a truly special occasion, as the broader community celebrates recent successes in preserving Honolua Bay,” says Surfrider Maui Vice Chair Timothy Lara.

“We are pleased to be able to offer these tours to our visitors and the local community as a way to connect with our local culture and be a part of something very meaningful in our history.”

a 6pm reception that’s open to the public after the tours end on the Beach House Lawn at the Ritz Carlton Kapalua. Food and beverages will be available for purchase.

West Maui’s Hui O Wa’a Kaulua will also talk about the crafting and launching of Mo’okiha O Pi’ilani. And Thompson will lead a talk about the worldwide voyage for the Polynesian Voyaging Society.

“It will do us nothing if we are tied to the dock,” says Thompson of the trek of the canoes on their website. “We are not going to change the world, but we are going to go and build a network of people around the Earth who are going to change it. Our job is to help them be successful.”

Hokule‘a

G

PHOTO BY WAYNE MACPHAIL - FLICKR

oing aboard the Hokule’a is a miles since she first set sail in 1975. What Nick Alvarez, California dream of mine, but I literally began as an exercise to disprove the theory missed the boat when the that early explorers were not able to deliberPolynesian Voyaging Society ately navigate using the stars has put in mocame in June on the Malama tion one of the strongest icons of Hawaiian Hawai’i leg of their Malama Honua trip–the and Polynesian pride. Now the Polynesian Worldwide Voyage. Luckily, I have another Voyaging Society will share that internationchance this Monday when the Hokule’a and ally taking a 46,000-mile round-the-world odyssey that is projected to visit more than her sister voyaging ship Hikianalia will be 21 countries through 2017. anchoring in Honolua Bay, honoring our “Hawaiian culture has not only island with another opportunity to learn emerged, it is strengthening,” says Voyagabout their journey around the world and ing Society Captain Nainoa Thompson on its significance to the planet. his worldwide video post at Hokulea.org.

“We are building better relationships “That is not common around the world. with people around the world,” says That is unique. There are cultures and lanKaiulani Murphy, one of the few crewguages lost every single day on this planet.” members who will make the entire voyThe expedition started in May with their age around the world on board the ship.

Malama Hawaii voyages, in which the crew “People who have the same desire to take anticipates making connections at more than care of our planet, our island Earth.”

30 ports and sailing 1,000 miles statewide.

The Hokule’a has seen over 135 nautical

PHOTO BY TONITT - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Captain Nainoa Thompson

Moored in Honolulu Harbor

Space and parking in the area are obviously limited. The groups recommend arriving early. Hawaiian Paddle Sports and Jean-Michele Cousteau’s ambassadors program will transport visitors on six-man canoes from the ramp at Honolua Bay. Once on board, self-guided tours of the ships await you.

The best thing to do is park in the back of the valley and then walk the trail by the stream out to the rocky boat ramp at the innermost curve of the bay. If you’re staying at the Ritz, just call Amanda Gravitte of Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment at 808-665-7292 to arrange transportation.

The Surfrider Foundation will also host

The Surfrider Foundation, Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment, Hawaii Paddle Sports, the Polynesian Voyaging Society, Save Honolua Coalition and Hui O Wa’a Kaulua will partner up this Monday to bring you this rare opportunity to witness the traditional Polynesian seafaring craft in a stunning natural setting. The local community and island visitors are invited to take complimentary tours of both canoes from 2pm to 4pm. The canoes depart for Molokai on Aug. 20. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com

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Picks

FRIDAY, AUG. 16

THURSDAY, AUG. 15 KULEANA INDIEGOGO – Writer/director Brian Kohne of the award-winning local comedy Get A Job is back with a new grassroots project. Using the sourcing cite Indiegogo, Kohne wants to bring his new cultural feature Kuleana to the big screen by the end of the month. The Hawaiian term often refers to the responsibility a person has to his or herself and others. The movie follows two friends and their struggles to fulfill their own kuleana. When faced with adversity, the two learn that kuleana is a privilege, not a burden.

MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY – This month you can enjoy a live art demo mo at Maui Hands Gallery at Makawao Third Friday. Maui Hands features res more than 300 artists, artisans, jewelers, woodworkers, glassblowers, ers, potters and sculptors. At the party, pastelist Kathleen O’Bryan will be featured for her work in fine art and detailed technique. Of course, you can also take time to savor the flavors at Outrigger Pizza, Monsoon oon Restaurant, Star Anise Catering, Wow Wow Waffle, Al’s BBQ Q Pit and more. Don’t forget your sweet tooth with choices from Cotton Candy andy Maui, Shaka Pops and Da Local Banana. Free. 6pm-9pm. Makawao awao

Kuleanamovie.com. Photo courtesy Kuleana Movie website

Town ( Between Brewer Road and Makawao Avenue), Mauifridays.com s.com

FRIDAY, AUG. 16 ‘LES MISERABLES’ – For the first time ever on the island, Maui Academy

ANGKOR WAT FILM FESTIVAL – Mental Health Kokua and Angkor Wat In-

of Performing Arts is presenting Boublil & Schonberg’s Les Miserables for two weekends. It starts this Friday and runs through Sunday, Aug. 25. The larger-than-life spectacle will feature 80 actors accompanied by the Maui Chamber Orchestra and Chorus. MAPA’s rendition of Victor Hugo’s timeless tale comes alive with young local talent and a seasoned production team. What’s more, this Sunday’s show will also feature an “Afterwards” session where the audience will have the opportunity to talk story with the director and cast. $15-$65. Maui Arts and Cultural Center Box Office (One

ternational is presenting their Happy Day film festival. Enjoy a day full of celebratory films in both 2D and 3D that promote Cambodian cultural awareness and environmental preservation. Featured will be Wild Africa 3D (10am), Cirque Du Soleil Worlds Away 3D (12pm), Bhutan - The Height of Happiness 2D and Papua 3D (2pm) and Chasing Ice 2D (4pm). The main event will begin with a presentation by Dr. Gary Greenberg and concluding with Cave of Forgotten Dreams 3D at 7pm.

Keiki 12 years and younger are free at the 10am and noon showings. 3D glasses will be provided and collected after the films. $7 per film. $27 main event. MACC, Mc-

Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Jack Grace

Coy Studio Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7567, Mauiarts.org.

SATURDAY, AUG. 17 KIMIE MINER – Stella Blues is welcoming back Big Island native

‘SEED TO CUP’ – I like my coffee tall, iced and regular with soy. You? This Saturday

Kimie Miner for an evening of acoustic soul mixed with R&B, funk and Reggae. Miner’s passion for music sent her on a whirlwind adventure touring all over the US and beyond. Now Miner is back in her home state. Rooted in her Hawaiian and Portuguese heritage, she continues to create music rooted in love, life and relationships. Ekolu Kalama will open the show. Pre-sale tickets available online. $15 Pre-sale/$20 door. Doors 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe

you can celebrate all things coffee as the Maui Coffee Association and University of Hawaii Maui College present the sixth annual “Seed to Cup” Coffee Festival.

With about 40 farms on the island producing coffee beans, Maui agriculture has included coffee cultivation for about two centuries. Indulge yourself in coffee-infused and inspired food, coffee granitas, samples, recipe contests and more. Taiko drummers, guest speakers and growing demonstrations will be ongoing. Or you can just sip your fave java while listening to live music. Free. UH Maui College, Paina Building

(1279 S Kihei Rd.), Iplaykimie.com. Photo courtesy Stella Blues

(310 W Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Mauicoffeeassociation.blogspot.com.

SATURDAY, AUG. 17 NATHAN AWEAU AND JEFF PETERSON – Stella Blue’s e e’s

MAUI MOMPRENEUR SHOWCASE – This Saturday moms from all over the

Supper Club is presenting an evening with award-winning g musical artists Nathan Aweau and Jeff Peterson. Peterson’s versatility on the guitar as a slack key master has earned him three Na Hoku Hanono awards and Grammy nominations. Aweau’s talents on bass and the acoustic guitar has won him recognition in the community along with Na Hoku Hanohano awards. The former Hapa member and UH Manoa professor are coming together once again for a stellar performance. Dinner and show 6pm & $60. Show

island will unite at The Maui Mompreneur Showcase. It’s a chance for motherowned businesses to gather for an afternoon of merchandising and networking. Maui Mompreneurs offers a platforms for mothers who juggle running a business and motherhood to offer their products or services. Covenant Clothing Company, Momma Love Baby Maternity Boutique, Lilia Designs, Organo Gold Coffee, Origami Owl Jewelry, Hand Painted Mason Jars and more will be in attendance. Guest speakers include Ed Gazmen, who will present “If my product is so great why can’t I sell it?” and Nicole Fisher who will discuss “Social media for Business.” 9am-1pm. Maui Beach Hotel,

Only 7:30pm & $30. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808874-3779, Stellablues.com. Photo courtesy of the MACC

Elleair Rainbow Room (170 W Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Mauimompreneurs.com. Photo of Nicole Fisher courtesy Mauimompreneurs.com

SATURDAY, AUG. 17

MONDAY, AUG. 19

FLORA COUTURE – Take some time to smell the roses–and every other flower in

BLOOD DRIVE – Come one, come all with blood types

the room–at Maui Youth & Family Services annual fundraiser. This year’s theme, “Flora Couture,” features American Institute of Floral Designers’ Ron Mulray.

He hails from the Philadelphia Flower Company and will be participating in live demos throughout the event. Lunch will feature a silent/live auction, flower market and fashion show featuring floral-adorned headpieces and fashions. The bi-annual event will benefit the continued efforts of MYFS in their mission to assist families and youth dealing with behavioral health issues. $165 VIP/ $140 GA. 9am-1pm. Grand Wailea

O, A, B and AB. The Blood Bank of Hawaii’s Summer Drive sets up shop this Monday and runs through Thursday. From registration to refreshments, the process usually takes less than an hour. Of course, those people who donate blood make up just a fraction of the need, so each pint matters! Monday: 9:45am-5pm; Tuesday: 7am-

Resort Hotel & Spa, Haleakala Ballroom (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-579-8414, Ext. 8102, Myfs.org. Photo courtesy of Jason Hargrove/Wikimedia Commons

2:15pm; Wednesday: 9:45am-5pm; Thursday: 7am2:15pm. Cameron Center Auditorium (95 Mahalani St., Wailuku), Bbh.org. Photo: US Navy/Wikimedia Commons

TUESDAY, AUG. 20

MONDAY, AUG. 19 AUTISM WORKSHOP – Imua Family Services, MCH LEND

ART OF JAPANESE CALLIGRAPHY – Keiki 12 years and older are invited

Maui Academy, UH Maui College and Maui District Special Education are presenting a four-part series on Teaching Children with Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities. You can catch the e second week of workshops this Monday and Wednesday. Monday’s topopic will be “Facilitating Peer Interaction and Social Skills” while Wednesesday will discuss “Understanding and Managing Problem Behavior in the Home, School and Community.” Free. 3pm-5:30pm. UHMC Pilina na

to a unique presentation called “The Art of Japanese Calligraphy.” Mitsuyo St. Klair, an internationally-educated artist, will conduct a hands-on demonstration of Japanese calligraphy. The Maui local will walk children through the history behind the art form and its traditional methods and tools. Participants will have the opportunity to create their own calligraphy keepsake. All materials will be provided. Registration is required via telephone. If a sign language interpreter or other special accommodation is needed contact the library. Free. 6:30pm. Kihei Public Library. (35

Multipurpose Rm. (310 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-7467, 7, Imuafamilyservices.org. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

WEDNESDAY, WEDNES SD DA AY, Y AUG AUG. U G. 2 UG 21 1 TIM BURTON’S ‘BATMAN’ – Given that this month’s theme for Ambrosia

Martini Lounge’s Red Carpet Movie Nights is “Early Tim Burton,” it’s a given that this flick would pop up on the schedule. This Wednesday, you can watch Burton’s classic take on Batman. The 1989 movie features Michael Keaton as the Caped Crusader and Jack Nicholson as the homicidal Joker. As always during these showings, you can munch on free popcorn and take advantage of the Happy Hour prices until 9pm. No cover. 7:30pm-9:30pm. Ambrosia’s Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011, Ambrosiamaui.com. Photo courtesy Spielbrick Films - Flickr

LADIES DAY OUT – Escape to Ali‘i Kula Lavender Gardens with the girls for a Ladies’ Day Out. Nestled in the slopes of Kula, the lavender garden offers a unique getaway. Enjoy a guided walking tour previewing the extensive lavender collection, then later sip on aromatic lavender tea while you indulge yourself with a lavender scone.

Take an hour out for yourself and rejuvenate. Reservations required.

The package starts in one-hour increments starting at 9:30am until 2:30pm. $10 per person. Ali’i Kula Lavender (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-878-3004, Aliikulalavender.com. Photo courtesy AKL

AUGUST 15, 2013 17

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By Barry Wurst II

Film

Working Man All of Hollywood stars in ‘Lee Daniels’ The Butler’

The Butler ★★★★★

Rated pg-13 / 132 Min.

T

he early controversy that arose from Lee Daniel’s The Butler was as amusingly odd and unique as the film itself. Word got around that Jane Fonda had been cast as Nancy Reagan. Then there were the non-newsworthy reports that the original title of The Butler had to be altered, due to a copyright loophole–not exactly the most interesting film gossip.

I miss the days when I’d read how Kevin Costner showed up at Kawaihae Harbor on the Big Island and found one of his Waterworld sets had sunk. In any case, Daniel’s most ambitious film, yet again, demonstrates his fearless casting choices and unwillingness to embrace subtlety.

While flawed and overstuffed, his Butler is entertaining from start to finish.

A prologue introduces us to Cecil Gaines, the son of slaves working on a plantation.

Cecil witnesses his mother being taken into a shed by a cruel, white plantation author-

ity, and what occurs isn’t clear to him. It is to Cecil’s father, who watches helplessly as his wife is casually taken from him. This is powerful stuff, hurtful to watch and a gripping introduction to the protagonist.

But Daniels almost ruins it with his anything-goes pick of performers in unlikely roles. We’re still getting acclimated to the story when we have to accept Mariah Carey as Cecil’s Mother, Magic Mike star Alex Pettyfer as her abuser and Vanessa Redgrave as the head of the plantation household. It’s a bit much to swallow at first, though I grew to enjoy the revolving door of celebrity cameos that follow.

Forrest Whitaker plays Cecil as an adult, whose traumatic childhood was followed by training and random connections that led to a long held position as a White House butler. Whitaker makes Cecil a fascinating character, a portrait of gruff persistence and African-American guilt over being socially inactive. While Cecil serves the most powerful men in the world, his son Louis gradually becomes a Black Panther, fighting against the casual attitudes towards racism that Cecil tolerates at his occupation.

The contrast of the life of a Freedom Rider vs. a “house negro” is well explored and provocative, even as the screenplay cuts

Does Steadman know?

corners with character development and history. Scenes depicting Louis’ “training” to endure racist attacks and the resulting assaults are harrowing. Yet, for all the references to Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., they remain off camera. There’s also a subplot involving Terrence Howard’s unsavory character that appears severely edited before it reached a resolution.

Of the numerous celebrities who appear as famous historical figures, John Cusack as Nixon, James Marsden as JFK, Minka Kelley as Caroline Kennedy and Liev Schreiber as LBJ are terrific and, yes, Fonda’s Mrs. Reagan is eerily spot-on.

Robin Williams plays Eisenhower for only a few minutes, while Alan Rickman is all wrong as Ronald Reagan. Only his elaborate make-up leaves an impression.

In one of her rare appearances on film,

Oprah Winfrey has been cast as Cecil’s long-suffering wife. Her performance is fine but I couldn’t forget who I was watching. She’s a distraction, but it’s not her fault entirely, as her acting isn’t a problem. Being the most famous woman on the planet makes it hard to lose yourself to her character. When she has a scene with Whitaker in bed, all I could think was, does Steadman know?

Like Oliver Stone’s W., this is confrontational, politically charged, full of amazing performances and contains outstanding scenes. But it’s also conventional in its narrative and not fully fleshed out. More controversy awaits it, as multiple sequence near the film’s end are so obviously PSA’s for President Barack Obama. Debate will ensue but, more importantly, the movie works, even with its shortcomings. ■

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By Toni Colombo

Film

Showtimes KA’AHUMANU 6

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Bakit Hindi Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo-UnratedFRI-WED 11:50, 2:25, 5:00, 7:40, 10:15 Despicable Me 2-PG-THU 10:00, 12:15, 2:30, 4L45, 7:00. FRI-WED. Elysium-R-FRI-WED 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Grown Ups 2-PG13-THU 10:15, 5:45, 9:15 Kick-Ass 2-R-FRI-WED 10:00, 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 8:00, 10:30 The Conjuring-R-THU 12:00, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20. FRI-WED 7:00, 9:35.

The Wolverine-PG13-THU 11:30, 2:20, 5:10, 8:00, 10:50. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20.

We’re The Millers-R-THU 11:15, 12:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45, 10:45. FRI-WED 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

2 Guns-R-THU 12:10, 1:00, 2:40, 3:40, 5:10, 6:40, 7:40, 9:10, 10:15. FRI-WED 12:40, 3:40, 6:50, 9:50.

Fruitvale Station-R-THU 5:00 Jobs-PG13-THU 9:00. FRI-WED 12:50, 4:00, 7:20, 10:25.

Lee Daniel’s The Butler-PG13-THU 8:00, 10:00. FRI-WED. Pacific Rim-PG13-THU 12:25, 3:15, 6:35, 9:25. FRI-WED 12:10, 3:10, 6:40, 10:00.

Paranoia-PG13-THU 10:00. FRI-WED 11:50, 2:30, 5:10, 7:50, 10:30.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters-PG-THU 1:05, 2:35, 4:05, 7:05, 9:35. FRI-WED 11:50, 1:00, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10:20.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters 3D-PG-THU 12:05, 5:05, 7:35, 10:10. FRI-WED 4:10, 6:50, 9:40.

Planes-PG-THU 12:15, 2:30, 3:00, 4:45, 7:00, 9:15. FRI-WED 12:00, 2:20, 2:50, 4:45, 7:10, 9:45.

Planes 3D-PG-THU 12:45, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45.

FRI-WED 12:30, 5:15, 7:40, 10:15.

R.I.P.D.-PG13-THU 12:20, 2:45, 6:55, 9:20 Red 2-PG13-THU 7:15, 9:55 The Heat-R-THU 12:35, 3:20, 6:30, 9:05. FRIWED 12:20, 3:20, 6:30, 9:30.

The Smurfs 2-G-THU 12:30, 2:25, 2:55, 5:20, 7:40, 10:05. FRI-WED 12:10, 3:00, 6:30, 9:10.

The Smurfs 2 3D-G-THU 12:00, 4:50 Turbo-PG-THU 12:40, 2:55, 5:25, 7:45, 10:00.

FRI-WED 12:30, 3:50, 6:20, 9:20.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

2 Guns-R-THU-WED 1:45, 4:30, 7;15, 10:05 Elysium-R-THU-WED 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 10:00

Kick-Ass 2 opens this week

NEW THIS WEEK JOBS - PG-13 - Drama - Ashton Kutcher plays Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in this biopic. 122 min.

LEE DANIEL’S THE BUTLER - PG-13 Drama - All of Hollywood (including Oprah!) stars in this look at the life of a White House butler. See this week’s film critique. 132 min.

PARANOIA - PG-13 - Thriller - Some new kid in a powerful tech firm must spy on his powerful bosses’ powerful former mentor. Stars Gary Oldman and a bald Harrison Ford. 106 min.

wife team of paranormal investigators try to help a family whose farmhouse seems to be possessed by a “dark presence” that’s may even be more evil than the bank holding their mortgage. 112 min.

DESPICABLE ME 2 - PG - Animation - Super villain Gru (Steve Carell) goes to work for the Anti-Villain League to fight a super-super criminal. 98 min..

THE HEAT - R - Action/Comedy - A friendless FBI agent (Sandra Bullock) gets partnered with a friendless Boston cop (Melissa McCarthy). 117 min.

KICK-ASS 2 - R - Action/Comedy - Kick-Ass and Hit Girl (who is now a teenager) fight Red Mist again. 103 min.

ELYSIUM - R - Action/Sci-fi - Matt Damon stars in this dystopian take on a future where rich people live in space and the poors live on Earth, and he has to bust heads in a hightech suit for some reason. 109 min.

BAKIT HINDI KA CRUSH NG CRUSH MO? - UR - Romance/Comedy - A smart but somewhat unattractive girl undergoes a makeover.

Based on the novel of the same name. 100 min.

PACIFIC RIM - PG-13 - Action/Sci-fi - Earth builds giant robots to battle invaders from outer space. 131 min.

NOW PLAYING 2 GUNS - R - Action/Comedy - An undercover DEA agent and naval intelligence officer unwittingly join forces after failing to infiltrate a drug cartel. Stars Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg. 109 min.

THE CONJURING - R - Horror - A husband and

PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS - PG - Family/Adventure - The son of Poseidon and friends travel to the Sea of Monsters to find the Golden Fleece and save their home. 106 min.

PLANES - PG - Animation - If liked Disney’s Cars (both pictures), then you’ll love this one, also from Disney. 92 min.

TURBO - PG - Animation - An accident gives a gar-

den snail his big chance to win the Indy 500. 96 min.

THE SMURFS 2 - G - Animation - Gargamel (voiced by Hank Azaria) captures Smurfette (Katy Perry) so he can start turning Naughties into Smurfs. 105 min.

THE WOLVERINE - PG-13 - Action/Comic - Wolverine goes to Japan, where he faces a particularly dangerous foe as well as his own inner demons. 126 min.

WE’RE THE MILLERS - R - Comedy - A marijuana dealer creates a fake family so he bring a large supply of pot from Mexico into the U.S. Sure, why not. Stars Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis. 110 min.

LAST CHANCE FRUITVALE STATION - R - Biography/Drama - A true look at a 22-year-old Bay Area guy who meets a variety of people on the last day of 2008. 90 min.

R.I.P.D - PG-13 - Action/Comedy/Sci-Fi - A recently murdered cop joins an undead police force so he can find his killer. Stars Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds. 96 min.

RED 2 - PG-13 - Action/Comedy - A team of retired CIA officers (Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, et al) try to find a portable nuclear bomb that’s gone missing. 116 min.

AUGUST 15, 2013 21

By Toni Colombo

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS

AMY HANAIALII GILLIOM - Fri, Aug 16. Supper Club. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com NATHAN AWEAU AND JEFF PETERSON Sat, Aug 17. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. (Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

STAGE

‘BENISE’ - Sat-Wed. Benise, a new musical event comes to the Maui Theater. Benise, Emmy winning musician, will wow audiences with spanish guitar music, exotic drumming and Spanish Flamenco, Cuban Salsa, Argentinian Tango, Arabic and Waltz dancing. 14.99-79.99.

Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808661-9913; mauitheatre.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui. Starting at $15.99 keiki / $39.99 adults. Kama’aina, dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre, Old Lahaina Center, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com ‘YOU GOT IT!’ - Every Sun, Wed, Fri & Sat. Join the Maui Theatre for the new onstage musical event, You Got It! starring award winning artist John Stephan. You Got It! pays tribute to the life of musician Roy Orbison, famous for his many top charting hits, including the song “Pretty Woman.” $39-$125/ ka’amaina prices available. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-9913; mauitheatre.com ‘LES MISÉRABLES’ - Sat-Sun. Les Misérables will be performed for the first time ever live on Maui with a cast of 80 performers and a 25-piece live orchestra. Based on Victor Hugo’s grand tale of love and redemption, the epic musical has thrilled audiences around the world for nearly three decades. Produced by MAPA, the production features former Maui resident and international opera singer James Price as the ex-convict Jean Valjean. $15-$65 (plus facility fees). 7:30-10:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center Castle Theater, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

TICKETS ON SALE

AMY HANAIALII GILLIOM - Fri, Aug 16. Supper Club. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com LOL WITH SULLIVAN AND SON - Sat, Aug 24. Laugh with the comedy quartet, Steve Byrne, Owen Benjamin, Roy Wood Jr. and Ahmed Ahmed. These headliners have graced the stages of The Tonight Show, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central and Conan. $29/$39.

7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 CROSBY AND NASH - Thu, Aug 29. The MACC welcomes David Crosby and Graham Nash for one night only of unforgettable folk rock sounds and strong vocal harmonies. The two legendary members of the rock supergroup, Crosby, Stills and Nash make their way to Maui to bring back original songs like “The Cost of Freedom,” “You Don’t Have to Go” and “Teach Your Children.”

7:30 pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 REGGAE IN THE VALLEY - Fri, Aug 30. Legendary headliners and local artist will grace the stage at the ninth annual ‘Reggae In The Valley’ music festival. Ali Campbell, Fiji, Maoli, Mano’o Compa-

22 AUGUST 15, 2013

ny, Jordan T. Josh Tatofi, opening with Kalisi, Leylani and Lia Live. $50/ $30-$40 presale. 4:30pm.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 JAZZ AND BLUES FESTIVAL - Sat, Sep 7. Get ready for a line-up of Award Winning Musicians at this year’s Jazz and Blues Festival. Music from Jazz Legend Lenny Castro, Grammy Winning Blues artist Joe Louis Walker, Na Hoku winners, Tako Drummers and more! Food and drinks will be available for purchase. $50. 4pm. Grand Wailea Resort and Spa, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808875-1234; mauijazzandbluesfestival.com KU MAI KA HULA - Sat, Sep 14. The eighth annual International Hula competition will be featuring halau winners from Japan, West Coast and Hawaii.

The dancers compete in kahiko (traditional hula) and ‘auana (modern-day hula stylings) in both male and female categories. Experience the competitive side of cultural movement, featuring prestigious judges and award-winning hula. $25/ keiki under 12 half price. 1-7pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 TONY BENNETT - Tue, Sep 24. Performing for more than 60 years, Grammy winning artist Tony Bennett brings smooth vocals and classic music to Maui. “I Left My Heart In San Francisco”, “Because of You” and “The Best Is Yet To Come” are just a few of Bennett’s romantic and familiar hits. Call for ticket prices. 7:30 pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; mauiarts.org LEON RUSSELL - Thu, Sep 26. Just pau touring with Elton John, Grammy-nominated, Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Leon Russell brings classic rock and roll to Maui! $40-$55. 7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 AUGIE T’S SUMMER OF LOL - Fri, Sep 27. Hawaiian comedian Augie T brings his popular local humor to Maui’s stage. $20/ $35 meet-and-greet.

7:30-10pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 HULAVILLE FESTIVILLE - Fri, Sep 27. John Pizzarelli, son of renowned guitarist Bucky Pizzarelli, is one of today’s greatest jazz guitarists. Gifted with spot-on vocals that deliriously swing, it’s no surprise Pizzarelli is credited with reviving the Great American Songbook. This stellar quartet will feature John Pizzarelli on guitar, Martin Pizzarelli on bass, Larry Fuller on piano, and Tony Tedesco on drums. $35, $45, $55. 7:30-10pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787

FOODIE

TURKEY TUESDAYS - Tue, Aug 20. It’s time for a picnic. Purchase a pound of in-house roasted turkey from the Whole Foods Speciality Team. and get a half pound of cheese to pair with it for free! Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui BEACH BUM TWIST - Daily. The Beach House shakes things up with one of a kind beach cocktails. Listen to a beach-inspired soundtrack, sit back, relax, and drink in the ocean view. 2-4pm.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6200; ritzcarlton.com/kapalua HULA GRILL’S CHEF TASTING MENU TO BENEFIT HILT - Daily. Hula Grill donates a portion of the proceeds from its Chef’s Tasting Menu to the Hawaiian Islands Land Trust as part of its Legacy of Aloha Program. The three-course menu is offered daily 4:45-5:45pm and all evening at the Chef’s Counter. $25.95. Hula Grill, Whaler’s Village, (2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-6676636; hulagrillkaanapali.com PIZZA AND MOVIE NIGHT - Every Tue & Thu. Catch a summer blockbuster at Makena Resort’s

Pizza and Movies night. Watch a different feature film every week and chow down on made-to-order pizzas from their wood burning oven. Movie free with pizza purchase. 6:30pm. Pool Bar & Grill, Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888 JAPANESE BEER PAIRING DINNER - ThuMon. Enjoy a unique pairing of Japanese beers and fresh local sushi. The hops aroma, sweet and tangy flavor of Japanese beer makes it a fresh summer brew that accents the simplicity of sashimi. $65. 5:30-9pm. Kai Sushi Restaurant, (1 RitzCarlton Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6200 VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Thu, Aug 15. See (and sample) how Chef Rachel Davies uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast, and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes at downtoearth.org. Free. 5:306:30pm. Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; downtoearth.org THIRSTY THURSDAY - Thu, Aug 15. Botero Bar wants to quench your thirst for something new with their weekly tastings. This month features Tito’s Handmade Vodka. Sample three mixed Tito drinks with pupus while listening to live entertainment. If you’re still hungry, get 20 percent off food from the bistro during the tasting. $20. 6-9pm.

Botero Bar & Lounge, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; grandwailea.com/resort-dining PIZZA PARTY WEEKEND - Sat & Sun. Pizza takes the spotlight every weekend at Whole Foods. Every Saturday enjoy $10 whole pizzas, Sundays buy a Take & Bake Pizza and get the second one for free! Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ‘SEED TO CUP’ COFFEE FESTIVAL - Sat, Aug 17. Join other coffee lovers at the 6th Annual Coffee Festival and Bicentennial Celebration. Growers and roasters will share info about coffee growing, harvesting, processing, roasting and brewing. Festivities include live music, guest speakers, silent auction, coffee samples, recipe contest and more. The Maui Culinary Academy will have coffee infused and inspired food available for purchase. Free. 12-5pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-280-1623; maui.hawaii.edu SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun, Aug 18. Enjoy a healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Come early, the laulau special is first come, first served and does sell out. Kama’aina offer not applicable.

Ko Restaurant at The Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; fairmont.com MOUTH-WATERING MONDAYS - Mon, Aug 19. Try free samples of what’s in season, new or has the staff excited each week. Free. 5 pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

ART

CLAIRE BLAHNIK - Fri, Aug 16. Claire Blahnik showcases paintings inspired by her home island, Maui. Free. 2-5pm. Maui Hands, (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; mauihands.com IAN HAIGHT ART - Tue, Aug 20. Local artist Ian Haight grew up surfing, fishing and sketching.

Today his love for Hawaii reflects in his paintings of island landscapes and wildlife. 4-7pm. Maui Hands, (612 Front St., Ste. D, Lahaina); 808667-9898; mauihands.com ARTISTS’ SHOWCASE - Daily. The Four Seasons’ resident artist will be on hand to discuss his or her work in the lower lobby. Free. 8am-1:30pm..

Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.);

808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE - Tue, Wed & Fri. Maui artists sell their works in the lobby. Free. 9am-2pm.

Grand Wailea Resort and Spa, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; grandwailea.com DANNY BRADDIX JR. - Sat-Thu. Local artist uses acrylics to capture Maui’s forest, flowers and waterfalls. His art will be featured in the Banyan Tree Gallery all month long. 9am-5pm. Lahaina Arts Society Courthouse Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); lahaina-arts.com ARTIST IN THE EASEL - Currently featuring Belinda Leigh (Mondays). Daryl Millard, winner of the 2011 Lahaina Action Town Committee annual art contest (Wednesdays & Saturdays). Davo, local pop artist (Thursdays & Fridays). Free.

5-9pm. Gallerie 505, (505 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-3537; gallerie505.com LIFE DRAWING SESSIONS - Wed, Aug 21.

Swing by the studio for a relaxed evening of life drawing. Sketch or paint the model in an open studio setting, there is no instructor and no pressure. Bring your own supplies, charcoal pencils and a large newsprint paper sketch pad suggested. $20 Kama’aina/ $25 visitor.

6:30-8pm. Magenta Blvd Art Studios, (142 Kupuohi St., F3. Lahaina); 808-280-1390; magentablvd.com/art-classes PASTELIST KATHLEEN O’BRYAN - Mon & Thu. For more than 35 years, Kathleen O’Bryan has participated in world-class exhibitions in Santa Fe, New Mexico and Maui. O’Bryan’s art features sky and landscapes brought to life by using light pastels on dark paper. Her art will be exhibited Mondays in Makawao and Thursdays in Paia.

11am-3pm. Maui Hands, (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; mauihands.com PHOTOGRAPHY SHOWCASE - Fri, Aug 16.

Monica and Michael Sweet team up to bring the Hawaiian Islands beauty to life through bright and vivid photography, capturing the land and underwater environments. Free. 4:30-7:30pm.

Maui Hands, (612 Front St., Ste. D, Lahaina); 808-667-9898; mauihands.com ART-BQ - Sun, Aug 18. Every Sunday, enjoy free food and a showcase of Guy’s latest artwork. Free. 6:30 pm. Guy Junker Art Studio, Emerald Plaza, (106 Kupuohi St. B-1, Lahaina); 808-661-0923; guyjunker.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, AUG 15 VETERAN’S HORSEMANSHIP PROGRAM MEET AND GREET - Active duty, disabled and retired military service members are all invited to talk story with riding instructors and learn more about Haku Baldwin Center’s Veteran’s Horsemanship Program. This program is free to all veterans that apply.10am-12pm. University of Hawaii Maui College/ Bldg Rm #108, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-572-9129; maui.hawaii.edu PICNIC FOR POKI - This month’s Picnic for Poki features live entertainment by local musician Coelho Morrison. Performing for more than 25 years, Coelho will bring you smooth Hawaiian sounds, perfect for mid day meal on the lawn. Bring lunch, friends and purchase beverages and baked goods provided by Roselani Place. Free. 11 am.

Ka’ahumanu Hawaiian Congregational Church, (103 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-871-7720 ALBUM RELEASE CONCERT - Featuring Mirayah Delam.ar and Sacred Earth Dancers, The Enlightenment Project brings you a universal message of love and unity. Proceeds benefit the Lovevolution Foundation Charity. Free. 8pm.

Ahimsa Sanctuary Farm, (4504 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-446-1244; mauitopia.us

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

8/15

8/16

8/17

8/18

8/19-8/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Pau Hana 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ LaRage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

Adam Masterson 7:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Inna Vision 9:30pm; $10 cover

Atash 9:30pm; $10

MOONLIGHT TIDEPOOL EXPLORATION - Pacific Whale Foundation’s education team will lead a exploration into Hawaii’s tidepools. Check out underwater creatures that surface at night. Ages 6+. $5 keiki/ $10 adults. Pacific Whale Foundation, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-249-8811; pacificwhale.org

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7:30pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30pm/ WED - Justin Phillips, 7:30pm WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Next Level Entertainment 9pm; no cover

Mango Pickers 7pm; no cover

DJ Emit 9pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli 6pm; no cover

TUE - Pool League, 6pm; no cover WED - Rachel’s Mix, 9pm; no cover

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

DJ Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Jordan 6pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON - Jordan, 10pm / TUE - Big John, 10pm/ WED - Dance Mix, 9pm; (no covers)

Scott & Gretchen 6:30pm; no cover

Alapa Drive 6:30pm; no cover

House Shakers 6:30pm; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Satterday Saints 9pm-close; no cover

Lucky I Am 10pm; $10 cover

Evan Schulman 6pm; no cover

STATE CHAMPIONSHIP AND NATIONAL DRAGSTER RACES - Fri & Sat. Ready your engines for a weekend of dangerous speeds, competitive racers and family fun! Watch local drivers take on the track and race for the win. $10 adult/ $8 students and seniors/ under 10 free. Maui Raceway Park, (Mokulele Hwy., Pu‘unene); mrp.org

HAPPY DAY FILM EVENT - Celebrate happiness through the promotion of culture and environmental preservation represented in a day of natural wonders cinema. Featured films will be showing all day, followed by the main event at 7pm, presented by Dr. Gary Greenberg, A ThreeDimensional Journey into the Magical Microscopic World of Ordinary Things. $7 for films throughout the day/$27 plus MACC ticket fee for main event. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; mauiarts.org

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

Will Hartztag & TOLO 7:30-10pm; no cover

CLIFF DIVERS - Daily. Experience the thrill with your feet firmly on the ground! Watch experienced cliff divers take the plunge off Ka’anapali’s famous Black Rock. Free. 6-8pm. Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa, (2605 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031

FRIDAY, AUG 16

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm; TUES- DJ TRVR, 10pm; WED - DJ J-Zen, 10pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike 10pm; $10 cover

FINS & FLIPPERS TOUR -Take a closer look at sharks and sea turtles on this exclusive behind-thescenes encounter. Tours are guided by a knowledgeable Ocean Naturalist and include the chance to observe supervised feeds at Hammerhead Harbor and Turtle Lagoon. $10 plus admission per guest. Space is limited, call for reservations. 11:30 am. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808270-7088; mauioceancenter.com

TURTLE-RRIFIC THURSDAY - Learn about Hawaii’s honu at the Turtle Lagoon interactive program.

The Maui Ocean Center team will share info about sea turtle biology, behavior, diet and daily care. Admission $20+. 2pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; mauioceancenter.com

DJ PlaywFire Ono 9pm; no cover

The Maui Blues & Co. 6:30p; no cover

MACY’S SHOP FOR A CAUSE- HABITAT FOR HUMANITY - Daily. Purchase a $5 savings pass at Habitat for Humanity now through August. This stellar savings pass will benefit Habitat for Humanity and give you 25 percent off merchandise and 10 percent off electronics and home goods when you shop on Aug. 24. 8:30am-4:30pm. Habitat for Humanity, (970 Lower Main St., Wailuku); 808-9868050; habitat-maui.org/restore.shtml

POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES - Daily.

Come see Maui’s most talented halaus perform center stage. Free. 7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6615304; lahainacannerymall.com

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Free Karaoke 10pm; no cover

ALOHA FRIDAY MUSICAL JAM - In partnership with Hawai’i on TV, each Friday a different musical style is featured by local artists. Experience Maui at its best! Free. 11:30am-1:30pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET CRUISE - Dance to local island and Reggae music by Marty Dread aboard a sunset cruise. Appetizers and drinks included. 5pm. Pacific Whale Foundation, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-249-8977; pacificwhale.org DANNY BRADDIX JR. ARTIST RECEPTION Meet the local artist that uses acrylics to capture Maui’s forest, flowers and waterfalls. His art will be featured in the Banyan Tree Gallery all month long.

6-8pm. Lahaina Arts Society Courthouse Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); lahaina-arts.com MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY TOWN PARTY - Make the trek Upcountry to Makawao’s third Friday block party. Enjoy live music, food, drinks, face painting, live art demos and more at this upcountry summer bash. 6-9pm. (Baldwin Ave., Makawao);mauifridays.com

SATURDAY, AUG 17 MAUI PRIDE BREAKFAST AND BEACH EVENT - Reserve your seat for breakfast at Gannon’s Wailea at 9am. Stop by Little Beach

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm / WED Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

WED - Tom Conway, 6:30pm; no cover Karaoke 8pm-close; no cover

10:30am-3pm, look for Maui Pride group’s rainbow flag! Bring your favorite inflatable beach toy and enter to win fun prizes in a beach toy competition. RSVP online for breakfast. Beach day is free.

Gannon’s A Pacific View Restaurant, (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-268-6400; mauipride.org ‘FLORA COUTURE’ BENEFIT - Floral meets fashion in a runway event benefiting Maui Youth and Family Services. Designs by AIFD Ron Mulray from the Philadelphia Flower Company will walk down the runway, followed by auctions, an open flower market and sit-down luncheon. $165 VIP/ $140. 9am-1pm. Grand Wailea Resort and Spa, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808875-1234; grandwailea.com ART SHOW FUNDRAISER - Sculptures, photography, art and jewelry will be showcased and sold to raise funds for the Unity Church of Maui. Artist Tim Garcia, John O’Leary, Jerry Sullivan are a few of the dozen artist who will contribute to the art show. Free. 9am-3pm.

Unity Church of Maui, (483 South High St., Wailuku); 808-242-9327; unityonmaui.org MAUI MOMPRENEUR SHOWCASE - Mom knows best at the annual mom-owned business showcase. Check out goods, products and services created and offered by Maui’s moms.

Free. 9am-1pm. Maui Beach Hotel, (170 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-0051 KEIKI MARTIAL ARTS EXPO - Watch keiki kick butt as they demo tae kwon do, jiu jitsu and more!

Free. 11am-2pm. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com OBON FESTIVAL - This summer, join the Japanese celebration honoring ancestors. This festival brings you spiritual services, music, dancing, vendors and more! Free. 6-10pm. Paia Rinzai Zen Mission, (120 Alawai Rd., Paia); 808-871-4911 DRUMMING CIRCLE - Sing, dance, drum and make music together. Bring and play a drum of your choice. Free. 7-8:30pm. Unity Church of Maui, (483 South High St., Wailuku); 808-298-4928

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pm / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm; (no covers)

GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR. & GABE GOEBBERT - This month’s moonlight concert features Grammy winning artists playing Hawaiian music under the stars. Bring seating and a friend! $25/$20 members. 7pm. Bailey House Museum, (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-3326; mauimuseum.org PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF) for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend!

Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need of a good home. 10am-4pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-4464126; hawaiianimalrescue.org YO-GI-OH CARD SESSION - Free. 3pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

SUNDAY, AUG 18 FREE HULA SHOW - Free. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-8711307; mauimall.com FAMILY MAGIC - All-ages comedy and magic with Lauro Castillio. Free. 11:30am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM AUGUST 15, 2013 23

LIVE MUSIC

THURSDAYY PRIME RIB THURSDAY

8/15

NIGHT BLUES

W/ THE MAUI BLUES & CO. 6:30PM-8:30PM 6:30PM 0PM-8:30P 8 30PM M • no CO COVER VER

FRIDAY RIDAY IDDAAYY

8/16 8/ /16

ALOHA ALOH AL OH HA FR FRID FRIDAZE IDAZ AZ ZE

W/ DJJ KAMIKAZE & DJJ B BIG IG G MIK MIKE

FRI, AUGUST 16

6pm-9pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages 10pm-Close HI-GRADE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

LUCKY I AM of THE LIVING LEGENDS with DJ NYKON, Z-MAN, POETS WITH POWER

MFC MMA PRE-PARTY TICKET GIVEAWAYS WEAR WEA R ALOH A ALOHA LOHA A ATTI ATTIRE TTIRE RE & SUNG SSUNGLASSES UNGLAS LASSSES FOR 50% OFF COVER! 10PM • $10 COVER

SATURDAY

8/17

$10 Cover • 21+

NO MUSIC TONIGHT

SAT, AUGUST 17

6pm-9pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages

SALOON SAL OON WI WILL W ILL LL BE OPEN! OPEN!

SUNDAY

8/18

BREAKFAST SERVED AT 7AM

FRI, AUGUST 23

DON'T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MONDAY

8/19

6pm-9pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM

SAT, AUGUST 24

7PM-10PM • no COVER

TUESDAY

8/20

6pm-9pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages

TACO TUESDAY W/

HOWARD AHIA & FRIENDS

FRI, SEPTEMBER 6

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER WEDNESDAY DNNES ESDDAAY EVAN DOVE & FRIENDS

8/21

MOTH XP

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

MAUI

900 FRONT ST. LAHAINA +1-808-667-7400 ©2013 Hard Rock Cafe International (USA), Inc. All rights reserved.

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT FAST FORWARD WITH DJ KURT

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

FRIDAY AUG 16TH

THIRD FRIDAY PARTY IN MAKAWAO

INNA VISION

MUSIC STARTS AT 9:30PM $10 COVER

SPREADING ALOHA WORLDWIDE SUPER DUB TRIBE - KING DAVID

SATURDAY AUG 17TH FROM AUSTIN TEXAS

ATASH

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $10 COVER

MASTER GYPSY MUSICAL GROUP

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24 AUGUST 15, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

8/15

8/16

8/17

8/18

8/19-8/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Mel Arausa 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

WED - Karaoke Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Mark Smeltzer/ TUE- Cole Sulenta WED - Tracy Stiles, all 7pm; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

MON- Open Mic WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kawika’s Krew 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Maui Blues & Co. or Jarod 7pm; no cover

MON - Red Fish / TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

1810’ 8:15-10:15; no cover

Nuff Sedd 9pm; no cover

1810’ 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (no covers)

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR 843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

Live Music Kaliko’s Way 10:30pm; no cover

Pool Tournament 7pm; no cover

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm / TUES - Open Mic Night, 9pm / WED - NOA ZEB, 10pm;

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE

Free Karaoke 2pm-2am; no cover

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MONDAY, AUG 19 HULA PERFORMANCE - Original hipster style performance. Free. 10:30am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, AUG 20 SEA TURTLE TUESDAYS - Get a behind the scenes tour featuring the Honu, Hawaii’s Green Sea Turtles. Lunch and snacks included. $15 plus admission. 11:30am. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; mauioceancenter.com

WEDNESDAY, AUG 21 RED CARPET MOVIE NIGHT: ‘BATMAN’ - It’s Early Tim Burton Movie Month, and that means a screening of Batman. Free popcorn. No Cover.

7:30 pm. Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter.

6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, (Lower Courtyard, 3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7:30-10 pm..; Thu, Adam. Masterson 7:30-10pm.; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm.; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm.; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm.; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm.; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7:30-10pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina), 808-667-0988.

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Every Wed & Fri, Rock & Roll 4-10pm.; Thu, Classic Rock 4-10pm.; Sun, Classic Rock 4-10pm.; Mon, Jazz Rock 4-10pm.; Every Tue & Sat, Easy Listening 4-10pm. (811 Front St., Lahaina), 808-661-4855.

COOL CAT CAFE - Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:3010pm.; Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:30-10pm.; Thu, Will Hartzag & TOLO 7:30-10pm.; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm.; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm.; Sun, Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm.; Mon, Peter D 7:30-

WED - Free Karaoke, 2pm-2am; no cover

Salsa Dance w/ DJ 10pm; no cover Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Trish da Dish Pub Quiz 9pm; no cover

Joette Burke 7pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen 6:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - The Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm / TUE - Mulligan’s Magic Show. 7-9pm/ WED - Murray Thorne, 7pm; (no covers)

10pm.; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. Wharf Cinema Center, (658 Front St., Lahaina), 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm.; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm.; Wed, Kalapana 3-5pm.; Wed, Michael & Greig 6-8:30pm.; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm.; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm.; Fri, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm.; Sat, Tim 3-5 pm..; Every Sun & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm.; Sun, Dani Barerra 3-5pm.; Mon, Kealii Lum 3-5pm.; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali), 808-662-2900.

FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina), 808-661-0937.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET - Fri, Alapa Drive 6:30pm.; Wed, Tom Conway 6:30pm.; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Happy Hour 3-6pm.; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Oyster Hour 5-6pm.; Sat, House Shakers 6:30-10:30pm.; Sun, Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm.; Thu, Scott and Gretchen 6:30pm. (744 Front St, Lahaina), 808-669-6425.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Sat, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.; Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina), 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm.; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm.; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm.; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm.; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am.; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm.; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm.; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm.; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm.; Thu, Dam.on Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm.; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm.; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm.; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Mark D’Antonio 6:30pm.; Sat, Dam.on Parillo 1:30pm.; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm.; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm.; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali’i 6:30pm.; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm.; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm.; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm.; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. Whaler’s Village, (2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P), 808-667-6636.

JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REGENCY - Tue, Kanoa Kukaua 6:30-8:30pm.; Wed, Josh Sumbi-

cay 6:30-8:30pm.; Thu, Josh Sumbicay 6:308:30pm.; Fri, Elaine Ryan 6:30-8:30pm.; Sat, Kahala Greig 6:30-8:30pm.; Sun, Margie Heart Duo 6:30-8:30pm.; Mon, MondoKane 6:30-8:30pm.

(200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali), 808-661-1234.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Wed, Tracy Stiles 7pm.; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm.; Fri, Mel Arausa 7pm.; Mon, Mark Smeltzer 7pm.; Tue, Cole Suletna 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai), 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm.; Sat, 1810 8-10pm.; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm.; Every Tue & Wed, Sam. Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina), 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm.; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm.; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:309:30pm.; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:309:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina), 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Wainee St. Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina), 808-6676655.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm.; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm.; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm.; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm.; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. Whaler’s Village, (2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J), 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali), 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Far West Rock Trio 6-9pm.; Wed, Island Jam.s with Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina), 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm.; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm.; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina), 808-669-6400.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm.; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali), 808-667-3200.

Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali), 8088-667-3200.

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Gretchen 6-9pm.; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm.; Fri, Gretchen 6-9pm.; Sat, Justin 6-9pm.; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm.; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm.; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.), 808-662-3700.

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/ listing and start posting events.

Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do?

Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

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PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

70s, 80s 10pm-1am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am; no cover

Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Big John / TUE - Industry Night / WED - Paradise w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm; (no covers)

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Justin 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Gretchen, 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Home Stead 8:30pm; no cover

Kakona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Ah-Tim 4pm; no cover

Willie K. 10pm; $10 cover

Kimie w/ Ekolu Kalama 9pm; $15+ cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Hot Apple Pie 9pm-1am; $3 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm.; Fri, Brother Dam.ien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm.; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm.; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.), 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm.; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina), 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana), 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina), 808- 661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm.; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm.; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 Lower Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili), 808-669-1500.

SHERATON MAUI RESORT AND SPA - Daily, Live Dinner Music at The Cliff Dive Bar 6:308:30pm. (2605 Kaanapali Pkwy.), 808-661-0031.

THE CLIFF DIVE BAR - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:30-8pm.; Sat, Larry Golis & Hollis Lee 6:30-8pm.; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm.; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Scott Baird 6:308pm. (2605 Ka’anapali Pkwy.), 808-662-8025.

UMALU - Fri, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm.; Sat, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm.; Thu, Josh Sumbicay 6-8pm.

(200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali), 808-661-1234.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Mon, Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 7pm.; Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-891-1011.

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Karaoke 4pm; no cover

WED - Free Pool, 8:30pm

TUES- Kimo, 4pm-6pm; no cover WED - Randall Rospond, 4pm-6pm; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Ernesto and Barbara, 8pm

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON-TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles Night, 10pm (All sets no cover)

Orfinz 6pm.; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm.; Fri, Mango Pickers 7pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. # 314) 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm.; Sat, Jordan T. 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-875-9669.

GANNON’S A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm.; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.) 808-875-8080.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Dominic 4-8pm.; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm.; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E), 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei), 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm.; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm.; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm.; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm.; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm.; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm.; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-891-8860.

KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Sun, Softer Side of Soul with Omar and Friends 4-7pm. (550 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei), 808-633-4220.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm.; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm.; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm.; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm.; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui), 808-875-5888.

MAUI COAST HOTEL - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm.; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm.; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm.; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm.; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm.; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm.; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-874-6284.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm.; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Wailea), 808-879-2224.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm.; Wed, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm.; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm.; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm.; Thu, Tom & Mark 7-9pm.; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm.; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:308:30pm.; Fri, Alika 7-9pm.; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm.; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm.; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm.; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm.; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm.; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm.; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201, Wailea), 808-891-2322.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sat, Annie and the

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Tue, Mulligan’s

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm.; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm.; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm.; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd. #1M), 808-243-2286.

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

Magic Show 7-9pm.; Thu, Murray Thorne 6-8pm.; Fri, Joette Burke 7-9pm.; Sat, Soul Kitchen 6-8:30pm.; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:30-9:30pm.; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm.; Wed, Murray Thorne 5:30-6:30pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea) 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza), 808-879-7177.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm.; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm.; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm.; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. Kihei Kalama Village, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm.; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm.; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm.; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm.; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm.; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm.; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201), 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Wed, Sebrina Barron 6:308:30pm.; Thu, Open Mic Night w/ Artie Parti 6:308:30pm.; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm.; Sat, Joshua on Maui 6:30-8:30pm.; Mon, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm.; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112) 808-875-2910.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Wed, Blues with the House Shakers 8:30-10:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei), 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm.; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm.; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm.; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.), 808-875-9983.

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Thu, Maui Blues and Co. 6:30-8:30pm.; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam. 7-10pm.; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm.; Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:308:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia), 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia), 808-579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Ulumalu Jazz Trio 6-9pm.; Fri, Steve Sargenti and Swiss 6-9pm.; Sat, Tradwinds 6-9pm.; Mon, Hula Honeys 6-9pm.; Wed, Betz and Adam. with Vince Esquire 6:30-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.), 808-575-2661.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm.; Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia), 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm.; Fri, Makana 7-9pm.; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku), 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am (43 Hana Hwy., Paia), 808-579-3111.

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR & GRILL - Fri, Wes Furumoto 5:30-7:30pm. (1127 Makawao Ave.), 808-572-1380.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

CENTRAL MAUI WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku), 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI BULLY’S BURGERS - Sun, Open Mic Sundays 3-7pm. (15900 Pi‘ilani Hwy, Kanaio), 808-878-3272.

CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia), 808-579-6323.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM AUGUST 15, 2013 27

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By Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) This week is astrological no-man’s land. Imagine being led, blindfolded, onto a random amusement park ride by someone you only half-trust. One thing’s for certain: Whether it’s a massive rollercoaster, ready to whip you unpredictably in any direction, an exhaustingly tedious Ferris wheel ride, or the gruesome intensity of being pinned to a wall by centrifugal force while the floor drops out, you’re stuck on it for the duration. My advice: Remember that some people take rides just like these for fun. Since no one’s going to stop the ride halfway through so you can get off, smile and make the best of it.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Unless you want “I was just trying to help…” to be your mantra this week, don’t help anybody—at least not until you’re specifically asked. You’re (in)famous for your altruistic self-initiative, but you’re more likely to get in someone’s way than actually render aid this week. Don’t trip the old lady you’re trying to help across the street. Take a well-deserved break instead.

Never fear, you’re still on the route to sainthood, if not martyrdom. You can go back to your habitual, well-intentioned assistance next week, when it’s not as likely to backfire and cause more trouble than it’s worth.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but this week brokered distanced makes it fondest. Let me explain. Thanks to the constant preoccupation and agitation you’ve been wearing like accessories lately, your actual presence will mostly work against you this week. However, avoiding the spotlight doesn’t mean you need to be forgotten or uninvolved. A sexy letter or dirty voicemail message will go a long way towards whetting the appetites of those you miss the most.

Then when you finally reemerge from your current busy, distracted state, your friends will welcome you with enthusiasm, not the annoyance they’d have suffered if you’d made them endure your ADD.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Let the future be a complete surprise. This may seem like obvious advice, until you consider your incredible foresight, and how much you’ve come to rely on and trust it. Your ability to accurately forecast future events and probabilities has made you overconfident, and you consequently sacrifice being really present at times. Shake off the conviction that you know how events will play out.

Things could really go either way. Unless you want to live in chagrined hindsight all week, forego trying to look ahead, and just pay attention to what’s happening now.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Time machines are, according to modern physics at least, impossible. But, physics aside, you might as well have a DeLorean that enables you to revisit past mistakes and wipe the slate clean. Usually when you’re granted a second chance, it’s colored by the blunders you made the first time around. This week, however, you get another opportunity to do things right without being handicapped by memories of how you did them wrong before. One warning: If you miss this opportunity to correct old mistakes, you’re screwed. You don’t get a second chance at second chances; the universe is kind, but not that kind.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Treat the whore like a princess, and the princess like a whore. This rule of thumb, creatively applied (you won’t be encountering many actual imperial heiresses or prostitutes), could be used to address virtually every circumstance you’re likely to encounter this week.

You’re infamous for your ability to pierce and act upon what you find in the heart’s hidden places. It takes balls to spit on royalty or see the veiled beauty in a bag lady. But that’s one thing every Scorpio (male or female) has got in spades: balls. Use them.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) TV lawyers lead amazing lives. They’re paid to be sexy, compelling, persuasive, and achieve their agendas with a minimum of paperwork or bureaucracy. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t usually confine itself to what serves a dramatic narrative. Actual lawyers spend the bulk of their time filing forms and doing research, with only the occasional excitement of arguing a case in court. Charm and eloquence alone won’t cut it this week, if you hope to get what you want. You’re not auditioning for the role of mover-and-shaker. You’re actually moving and shaking, and that involves, ironically, sitting down and doing all the nitty-gritty work. Don’t worry—even though the process may at times be tedious, the results won’t be.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Being buried alive was a popular (and occasionally justified) public paranoia during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Some people considered the possibility so likely that they equipped their graves with bells they could ring from inside their coffins, to signal for rescue. While you won’t have to literally claw your way out of a casket this week, you may have to metaphorically, unless you take proper prophylactic steps. Your craving for freedom occasionally compels you to risk valuable pieces of your life, like treasured relationships, by disappearing or playing possum; inciting people to slap on an epitaph and leave you buried with all their past mistakes. Don’t let yourself be covered over and left for dead. Get a big, loud bell to ring. If things are alive and kicking, despite appearances, make sure everyone knows it.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Rams have massive, sturdy, curled horns, ideal for knocking heads with predators and competitors. But that generally non-lethal formidability has led to some reckless behavior on your part. When you don’t like something, you’re usually quick to lower your head and shove it off the mountain, without much regard for the consequences. This week, however, a little more subtlety and foresight is required, as the universe temporarily straightens those metaphorical weapons, transforming them from perfect ramming tools to ones more apt to gore and pierce. As you’ll soon learn, an exponential increase in strength and effectiveness is best met with restraint and caution, not bloodlust.

Embrace the irony, instead of resenting it: the more power you have, the less you get (or need) to use it.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) As much as you’d like the inscription to read, “This is for [you], without whose support and encouragement, I’d never have made it,” you can’t tell someone to write that when you provide them with backing and cheer. Please do support and encourage your personal heroes, but don’t obligate and compel them at the same time. Unless it’s explicitly spelled out, favors don’t come with automatic indebtedness. The stars require me to add the obvious, and risk your offense and wrath: Don’t just hand over your time and energy without mentioning the strings. Sever them completely, or keep your “help” to yourself.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4

1: D–Science Applications International Corp.

2: B–Deputy Attorney General 3: D–Ahi

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GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) While other people, thrust into your state of duality, would be confounded, you’re actually pretty good at handling it. Usually you solve the problem of chronically split motivations with incredible multi-tasking skills—and everyone is impressed with how you capably manage an inhuman workload while downloading an ungodly amount of porn. But for the next couple of weeks at least, you’ll be able to forget 9/10 of your distractions and just concentrate on one great thing. Don’t perpetuate your slapdash, semi-crazed inclinations out of force of habit. You’ve got some serious focus right now; use it.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Emotional expressions come in many forms, and you have to learn to interpret and accept them as such.

You’re gifted with an eloquence of self-expression to match your tidal emotions, but most people lack that skill, and are forced to couch their feelings in actions that require some interpretation, or even deciphering.

That’s where your practically psychic intuition comes in. Use it to take up the slack that spans the gap between what they want to say and what you want to hear. Instead of demanding that an expression of love or anger or sadness comes in a familiar package, accept and understand it in whatever form it’s delivered, be it dirty joke, burnt breakfast, or expensive present.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

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