19.40 Poop! (There It Is) Maui County Sewage In Ocean, March 17, 2016, Volume 19, Issue 40, MauiTime

March 17, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

Poop! (There it is)

READER TALKS

IVORY

PG.3

FAILS AGAIN

10 LANE CLOVERFIELD

LIQUOR COMMISSION

PG.5

PG.19

MAUITIME.COM

PLUS

The County of Maui is already in hot water over sewage in the ocean off West Maui, but a new study says that the Kihei coast is far worse. PG.10

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Contents

Reader Feedback

BY READERS LIKE YOU

VOLUME 19 ✚ ISSUE 40

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

ON THE COVER:

Where’s your favorite swimming spot on Maui?

March 17, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Black Rock

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Iao Valley Advertising Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 283-3260 / sarah@mauitime.com Hamoa Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com My Bathtub Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter Kahului Pool

Poop! (There it is) The County of Maui is already in hot water over sewage in the ocean off West Maui, but a new study says that the Kihei coast is far worse. PG.10

PLUS

Cover Design By: Darris Hurst & Jenn Carter READER TALKS

IVORY

4 10 13 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.3

10 LANE CLOVERFIELD

LIQUOR COMMISSION

FAILS AGAIN

PG.5

PG.19

MAUITIME.COM

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Wailea Beach

Poop! (There it is) The County of Maui is already in hot water over sewage in the ocean off West Maui, but a new study says that the Kihei coast sewage is far worse.

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Grandma’s Contributors: Jenn Brown, Caeriel Crestin, Max Errickson, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shannon@mauitime.com Kahakuloa Proofreader: Dina Wilson

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2015 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $110 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 16 S. Market St., Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

LAHAINA IVORY DEALER COMPLAINS ABOUT RECENT STORY I wasn’t really sure whether to write you directly or the Eh Brah column about your article Hawaii loves undocumented ivory (Coconut Wireless, Mar. 10, 2016). You have done such a disservice to the longtime legitimate dealers of ivory in Lahaina. I have worked for Lahaina Scrimshaw for over 30 years and know the majority of our ivory is fossilized walrus and mammoth ivory that we get from Alaska and it has been the predominate material for over 25 years.

We do use elephant ivory recycled from old piano keys and antique (documented) billiard balls from the 1800s. Cow and ox bone are very easy to identify from ivory. If you would have taken the time to verify the facts I wouldn’t be writing. I invite you to come to Lahaina Scrimshaw–I am there Monday to Friday 9 to 3:30 and would be glad to show you what we sell and how easy it is to tell the difference between materials.

Also check out some of your sources for the article–The Humane Society of the United States is not the same as the Humane Society (SPCA).

In fact, the Humane Society of the United States only gives about one

percent of the donations to animals most goes to keeping their administration going. The laws that they are pushing have been effective at a federal level since the 1980s so there is no need for laws at a state level.

I am really passionate about this and the misinformation that is out there. Please check the facts, support the small business of Maui that will be affected by this law.

-Cindy Canham, via email

Anthony Pignataro responds: Thank you very much for your letter. but neither the report nor my story specifically mentioned your store (or any other specific ivory dealers in Hawaii, for that matter).

And while it’s great that you say you don’t sell undocumented ivory, both the report and my story clearly noted that most dealers in Hawaii are selling ivory that comes from elephants without proper documentation. If you sell documented ivory from sources other than elephants, then that’s wonderful. Similarly, your deriding the business practices of The Humane Society of the United States (one of the report’s five sponsors) isn’t relevant to the findings of the report, which is that the industry as a whole is selling a great deal of undocumented ivory from elephants.

Send your feedback to editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 16 S. Market St., Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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1. So yeah, Donald Trump won the 2016 Hawaii Republican Party Presidential Caucus with 5,677 votes. How many of the state’s 19 delegates does he get?

A. 19 B. 17 C. 15 D. 13 E. 11

3. Maui County’s unemployment rate for this January was 3.3 percent (not seasonally adjusted), according to a Mar. 11 news release from the state Department of Labor and Industrial Relations. What was the county’s unemployment rate for the same month in 2015?

A. 3.3 percent B. 3.8 percent C. 4.3 percent D. 4.6 percent E. 5.1 percent See answers, page 29

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless

LIQUOR Q O CO COMMISSION SS O FAILS AGAIN TO APPOINT NEW DIRECTOR

SEN. SCHATZ LOSES MIND, WANTS TV NEWS TO FOCUS ON STUFF THAT MATTERS Look, we like U.S. Senator Brian Schatz, D–Hawaii. In fact, we can’t really think of any substantive issue in which we disagree. But the news release his office sent out on Mar. 7–damn, we just don’t know.

Apparently, there’s a new Media Matters report that came out on Mar. 7 that says broadcast TV networks just aren’t

covering climate change in any rational, concerted effort (Wow–who knew?).

Anyway, Sen. Schatz thinks this is just bogus, and wants it to stop. He even sent out a news release today with this very long quote from him just going off on network news: In a year when nearly 200 countries around the world collectively recognized the threat of climate change and the United States made historic commitments to cut carbon pollution, major networks actually cut their media coverage of climate change. In 2015, the network Sunday shows devoted just 73 minutes to climate change, a ten percent decrease from the year before. What makes these findings even more troubling is the fact that with the little time devoted to climate change, these Sunday shows continued to mislead their audiences by including climate denial as part of the discussion. The facts are clear. Scientists, governments, and major

Schatz actually watched the TV news lately? Hell, the only person in the country that seems to understand modern TV news judgment these days is Donald Trump, and all he’s doing is running for president as Benito Mussolini but with one of those Star Trek Tribbles stapled to his scalp.

See, Trump understands what’s important to TV news–as true now as the earliest days, when viewers around the world first turned on the box in 1936 and saw Adolf Hitler’s mug at the Olympics: ratings beat everything. Trump dominates the news because he says and does outrageous, horrific things. And climate change gets the shaft because it’s based on scientific hypotheses and analyses that frighten TV news execs worse than any horror movie.

Now in 50 years, when climate change has led to vastly more superstorms and rising sea levels that have lay waste to the

PHOTO BY WHIT WELLES / WIKIMEDIA

Serious question: is there a more useless group of people on Maui besides the Maui County Liquor Commission?

For months now the star chamber that approves liquor licenses and supposedly oversees the LC Director has been unusually feckless. And now the panel’s difficulty in finding a new director to replace longtime boss Frank Silva, who retired back in the fall, is threatening to stretch on into the spring.

Presented with four applicants–and there were only four applicants, which tells you something–the Commission was all set to approve one at its meeting yesterday.

But that didn’t happen, The Maui News reported on Mar. 10.

“The commission met in a closed executive session for about 25 minutes,” the paper reported. “Back in open session, commission Chairman Robert Tanaka announced that none of the applicants had received a ‘majority’ of support from commission members. So, he said, the commission would defer the appointment of a new director, which would be taken up by the ‘new commission.’ It would re-interview the candidates and then vote again, he said.”

Unbelievable. When first told that Silva was retiring, Tanaka and the Commission huddled up in secret–in defiance of the state’s open meetings law–and picked one of their own: Dana “son of former LC Director Joe” Souza. There was no public call for applicants, no open vetting of Souza. It’s kinda like how decisions are made in Cuba, except with less cigar smoke.

When MauiTime, residents and at least one public official cried foul, the commission backed down slightly–they did a do-over, but still gave the job to Souza without issuing a call for applicants.

Then, just a day or so before he was to take over, Souza suddenly declined the job–forcing the commission to finally do what they should have done months earlier (Souza never responded to MauiTime’s call for comment, and has never spoken publicly about his decision to decline the position).

Of the four individuals who stepped forward to replace Silva, three hold some nepotistic tie to the department–long a feature of the LC. Layne Silva is the son of Frank Silva. Former Deputy Director Glenn Mukai’s daughter Karilee Yoshizawa is a fairly high ranking LC official. And then Yoshizawa herself applied for the job. Only current Deputy Director Traci Fujita-Villarosa lacks some sort of nepotistic connection, but she also barely meets the County Charter’s five-year law enforcement experience requirement for the job.

The Commission’s inability to find someone to replace Silva betrays their utter uselessness (The Maui News seemed shocked–SHOCKED!–that the Commission did their voting in secret, like the panel has ever shown anything less than utter contempt for transparency and public disclosure). When the “new” panel convenes in April, just two of the nine members will be new– Brenda Lee and Nane Aluli, who are replacing Frank Sylva and Zachary Paz. But hey, starting the whole process over again is infinitely better than their preferred method of simply handing the department to one of their cronies.

When will Senator Schatz understand the mind-numbing nonsense of TV news?

corporations around the world have accepted the facts about climate change and are having real debates on solutions. In this consequential election year, it’s time for news broadcasters to do the same.

Hey, we like “facts” and “scientists” as much as the next guy, but has Sen.

Overheard

world’s coastlines and caused devastating food shortages and chaos, then maybe climate change will start playing a bigger role in TV news. But until then, American television media will content themselves to the garbage fire that is the Republican Party’s flirtation with fascism and whatever new developments spring up in the OJ Simpson case.

Of course, we can all just turn off the television and read newspapers and magazines and other sources of journalism, but where’s the fun in that?

CORRECTION

“Did somebody lose a chicken?”

-Woman in Kaanapali, Mar. 10

In our Feb. 25, 2016 edition of Mauisphere, I mis-reported the number of Special Committee on County Governance members who could vote. In fact, all 11 members can vote. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

MARCH 17, 2016

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MauiSphere PHOTO BY DARRIS HURST

OH, THE SHOPS OF WAILEA IS ALSO GETTING A NEW MARKETING DIRECTOR

Troon's running the joint now

TROON TAKES OVER PINEAPPLE GRILL MANAGEMENT

PHOTO BY AUBREY HORD

Peter Liu

THE HYATT REGENCY MAUI, TOO?! SERIOUSLY, IS EVERYONE GETTING A NEW MARKETING DIRECTOR? Ben Premack is the new Director of Sales and Marketing at the Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa. Premack, an experienced hospitality professional with 13 years in the travel industry, brings strong leadership, analytical skills and a history of sales and marketing successes to the resort.

Premack has been with Hyatt since 2003, most recently serving as Director of Sales and Marketing at Grand Hyatt DFW. He began his career at the company at Hyatt Regency Bethesda, where he worked as an Assistant Front Office Manager before being promoted to Sales Manager. He also pre-opened Grand Hyatt San Antonio in 2007 and then served as the Associate Director of Sales at Grand Hyatt Seattle/Hyatt at Olive 8 as

PHOTO COURTESY CINCH PR AND BRANDING GROUP

Troon, the world’s largest golf and hospitality management company, will take over management and operations of The Pineapple Grill, located at The Bay Course Clubhouse at the Kapalua Resort. Management and operations of The Pineapple Grill have been under the guidance of the Cohn Restaurant Group.

Troon’s award-winning food and beverage division, which manages more than 155 restaurants located at golf resorts, private clubs, daily fee golf courses and recreational facilities around the world, will assume management and operational oversight. The Pineapple Grill will remain open as the management and operational transitions takes place over the next month.

The entire restaurant staff will be retained and will continue to provide innovative Pacific Island cuisine.

“Moving forward, the Troon food & beverage team will look to enhance the restaurant and dining experiences at the Pineapple Grill through procurement of the best quality products on the islands, utilizing local and sustainable products, implementation of world class culinary techniques and leveraging current trends in the industry,” said Carlos Acosta, Corporate Food & Beverage Director for Troon.

“We wish the Cohn Restaurant Group best of luck in their ongoing endeavors and thank them for the valued partnership,” said Mike Jones, the GM of Kapalua Golf & Tennis.

“Our focus will be to continue the legacy of the Pineapple Grill and also build upon the restaurant’s success, and elevating the dining and culinary experience at Kapalua.”

The Shops at Wailea has appointed Hue Oldham as Director of Marketing.

Oldham has worked in the luxury hospitality field in a multitude of capacities.

Prior to joining The Shops at Wailea, Oldham managed the Marketing and Public Relations efforts of The Royal Hawaiian Hotel and The Kahala Hotel and Resort in Honolulu. Most recently, she opened the first Bloomingdales in Hawaii, located at Ala Moana Center in Honolulu.

Oldham previously spent 12 years in operations and Public Relations and Marketing management positions at The St. Regis Princeville Resort on the island of Kauai.

“I am thrilled to be joining Maui’s premier shopping and dining destination,” said Oldham. “It’s such an exciting time in The Shops evolution. I look forward to developing fun and exciting promotions and special events for our resort commu-

ence will bring great value through new marketing strategies that drive revenue and brings growth to our tenant portfolio.”

MAPA HIRES A NEW MARKETING DIRECTOR Peter Liu has been named Director of Marketing for Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA). Liu is a Maui transplant from Silicon Valley, where he gained extensive experience in digital marketing, software engineering and management.

On Maui since 2006, Liu cofounded the Maui Social Media Users Group, which gave rise to a generation of savvy digital marketing professionals.

While freelancing as a technology and marketing consultant, he served as a core team member of TEDxMaui.

Liu is also an accomplished professional photographer. He earned a BA in Anthropology from Pomona College and is no stranger to the performing arts, having been involved in theater and music at various times during his life.

For more information about MAPA, call 808-244-8760 or email info@mauiacademy.org.

Ben Premack

nity. The Shops at Wailea has an exceptional reputation in the travel industry: globally, nationally, and here in Hawaii. I’ve been working closely with a number of my new ohana at The Shops at Wailea and am excited to be a part of such a talented team.”

As Director of Marketing, Oldham will develop and implement new marketing strategies to strengthen relationships with the Shops resort partners and community organizations. Communication, product marketing and the development of new promotions and special events will also fall within Oldham’s responsibility.

“The Shops at Wailea continues to grow as Maui’s most visited shopping destination among domestic and international visitors,” said Brian Yano, General Manager for The Shops. “We are excited to have Hue join our team, and believe her experi-

well as Grand Hyatt Washington D.C. He was then named Director of Sales at Hyatt Regency Philadelphia in 2010.

“We are delighted to welcome Ben to the Hyatt Regency Maui team” said Allan Farwell, the Hyatt Regency Maui’s General Manager. “His impressive background and experience with the Hyatt brand make him an excellent asset to the resort and we look forward to what he will bring to build upon Hyatt Regency Maui’s stellar record of leisure and business sales.”

In a news release, Premack called his new employer “a fantastic resort on one of the most beautiful islands in the world.” ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

MARCH 17, 2016

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THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO ILLUSTRATE A MAUITIME COVER?

News & Views

by Chuck Shepard

News Of The Weird

Issue 06 ✚ FREE July 26, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚

THE SQUARE WHEEL OF JUSTICE August 16, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 09 ✚ FRE FREE E

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FAMILY PORTRAITS • WEDDINGS SENIOR GRADUATION PHOTOS

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In February, New York’s highest court finally said “enough” to the seemingly endless delays on a multimillion-dollar judgment for negligence that occurred 23 years ago.

Linda Nash had sued, among others, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for injuries she suffered when trapped in an underground parking garage during the World Trade Center terrorist act. (No, not the one in 2001, but the bombing eight years before that, which killed six and wounded more than 1,000). Nash was 49 that day and 72 now, and after winning a $5.4 million jury verdict in 2005, endured 10 more years of appeals. In its final, unsuccessful motion in the case, the Port Authority said it had spotted a technicality and that Nash should start over.

NOSTALGIA GONE TOO FAR Retired engineer Harry Littlewood, 68, watching workers tear down outdated public housing in Stockport, England, recently, rushed over to ask the local Stockport Council about recovering a “souvenir” since the teardowns included his residence growing up. The council agreed, and Littlewood was awarded the toilet he had used as a boy. “I never thought I’d see it again,” he mused. He said he would probably turn it into a planter.

EVANGELICALS APPLAUD SEXUAL PREDATOR The Jacksonville (Florida) City Council was addressing a proposed amendment to its Human Rights Ordinance (one that would specifically protect gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders) in January when Roy Bay, 56, stood during the comment period and insisted that those kinds of lifestyle protections are what led him on a 20-year history of molesting one little boy after another. Gasps in the audience turned into cheers, however, when he reported that he had abandoned his bad self after becoming a “born-again child of God,” and realizing that it was not “acceptable” to assault kids even though he was raised in such an environment himself. (Conveniently, the crimes are not prosecutable because of the statute of limitations. Fact-checkers, including FloridaPolitics.com, are still investigating Bay’s claims.)

FOR THE CINDERELLAOBSESSED ONLY Local governments in Taiwan’s Southwest Coast National Scenic Area in Chiayi province recently put the finishing touches on a 55-foot-high “church” in the form of a shoe made from more than 300 glass panels (and costing the equivalent of about $680,000). According to a BBC News dispatch, no religious services will be held there; rather, the church will be a destina-

tion for weddings and feature other events tailored for glass-slipper-obsessed females.

BRIGHT IDEAS According to a former spy for the Soviet Union, dictator Josef Stalin so distrusted his Communist China counterpart Mao Zedong during the 1940s that when Mao visited the USSR, Soviet engineers arranged to capture his bowel movements so that Stalin’s scientists could examine them chemically to form a psychological profile.

Spy Igor Atamanenko found evidence that other world leaders received similar treatment. Among the indicators: High levels of the amino acid tryptophan signaled the person was calm and approachable, and lack of potassium portended nervousness and insomnia.

WATCHING TOO MUCH 007 Williams Lake, British Columbia, has the most violent crime per capita for its size (pop. 10,800) of any town in Canada, and in February the city council unanimously passed a dramatic action plan: to inject “high risk” criminals with “GPS tracking” devices.

The program was immediately denounced by privacy advocates, but that challenge is almost beside the point–since injectable GPS tracking does not even exist. (Councilors likely confused implantable microchips, which contain data but do not track, with GPS transponders, which track but only via sight-line contact with a satellite.)

USELESSNESS OF THE MIRANDA WARNING The three young men charged so far in the Feb. 17 murder in a South Carolina bowling alley made their first post-crime courtroom appearances memorable ones.

According to a WYFF-TV (Greenville, South Carolina) report, Albert Taylor, 22 (and labeled as the shooter by police), seemed indifferent to the charges, but questioned the judge about courtroom cameras, appearing preoccupied. As he was being ushered out, he turned to address the camera and barked, “What’s up, y’all? You can follow me on Twitter, follow me on Instagram, Snapchat.”

PERSPECTIVE Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen (who left the company early, and like Bill Gates, became known for his philanthropy, which has been directed toward conservation projects including coral reef restorations) is the owner of the 300-foot yacht whose anchor in January accidentally crushed 14,000 square feet (about 80 percent) of the Cayman Islands’ precious West Bay coral reef. Harm to the islands’ ecosystem, world-famous for its diversity, will not quickly be repaired, said officials. The MV Tatoosh’s business in the area was not reported, but Allen was not aboard. Cayman Islands is a popular Caribbean vacation and diving spot (and, of course, tax haven). ■

GLASS PIPES « VAPORIZERS WATER PIPES & ACCESSORIES

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 16 S. Market St, Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

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h brah, this is for the dickhead fishermen at Little Beach who insisted on fishing in the swimming area, effectively cutting off a third of the beach. When politely asked to move, one went apeshit for 20 min. screaming obscenities and threatening people with violence. There was plenty of room for everyone if you had just moved down the beach a few yards. But, apparently, you feel acting like a total asshole gives you the right to shut down a third of the beach. I truly hope someday you get smacked by a flying lure and it knocks some sense in you. ■

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MARCH 17, 2016

9

Poop! (There it is) The County of Maui is already in hot water over sewage in the ocean off West Maui, but a new study says that the Kihei coast is far worse.

By Anthony Pignataro

T

he County of Maui’s violation of the Clean Water Act by discharging millions of gallons of wastewater into injection wells in West Maui is widely known. The judge’s ruling came in 2014, two years after environmental organizations filed suit, alleging that the injection wells were significantly harming coral reefs in the Lahaina area–most notably, at Honolua Bay and Kahekili Beach (Old Airport Beach).

In fact, studies have shown that coral at Honolua has decreased by an astonishing 76

10 MARCH 17, 2016

percent since 1995, while other research has shown that because of freshwater seeps just offshore of Kahekili, a great deal of wastewater floats to the surface at that beach, which is very popular with locals and tourists alike.

What hasn’t gotten so much attention is that the county also uses injection wells at its wastewater treatment facilities in Kahului and Kihei–and a new study published in the journal Marine Pollution Bulletin shows that the South Maui waste plume dwarfs anything found in West Maui.

“Focus on the Lahaina facility has brought a lot of attention to the ecological and environmental issues going on in West Maui, which is positive, but after we looked at these data, we were blown away at how much higher the impairments are near Kihei,” said study co-author Mailea MillerPierce in a Feb. 25 news release on her new journal article. “When looking at these results, it is shocking that so little attention has been paid to Kihei. Hopefully some of the focus will shift in the near future.”

Though a researcher at Washington State University, Miller-Pierce has personal memories of South Maui. “I spent summers in Kihei as I was growing up,” she said in the Feb. 25 news release. “It hurts my heart to witness the negative ecological changes that have happened on Maui, particularly the coral declines I have seen firsthand on the South Kihei beach where I grew up snorkeling. I only hope that more action is taken, and soon, so that one day my children will be able to enjoy the beau-

marine environment, and take constructive action as appropriate,” states the paper.

To get a better handle on the research, I spoke with Miller-Pierce by phone.

MT: Your journal article states that all this pollution can be detrimental to the health of marine life, but says nothing about how it affects human beings.

MAUITIME: Thanks for talking with us. Did your findings surprise you?

MM-P: We are talking about it. We haven’t done anything on human health, but we are talking about looking into it.

MAILEA MILLER-PIERCE: Yeah, they did surprise me in some ways.

MT: How exactly did you carry out your study?

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

MM-P: The Department of Health’s Clean Water Branch does all the monitoring in the ocean. We only used data from the Department of Health, for the years 2004 through 2015.

MT: So how do you explain where all this pollution comes from?

The Kihei wastewater facility

PHOTO BY DAVID BURDICK / NOAA

Dying coral

Hawaii, but the new Marine Pollution Bulletin study indicates that Kihei nutrient levels–which are so detrimental to coral health–make the highly-publicized waters off West Maui look pristine by comparison.

“We found sites near the Kihei WWRF [wastewater reclamation facility] had more frequent and much greater WQ [water quality] exceedances than sites near the Lahaina WWRF,” states the study. “Of particular concern is Cove Park, directly next to Kalama and at the center of the wastewater plume from the Kihei WWRF… Cove Park remains a popular beach for tourists and recreationists who are largely unaware of current WQ impairments.”

The conclusion to all this is unmistakeable: though prized as a global tourist destination for the beauty and wonders of its coastline, Maui’s beaches are, in fact, in very poor health, and not a whole lot is going on right now to fix that.

Though just nine pages long, the study by Miller-Pierce and Neil A. Rhoads is heavy on the mathematics and technical jargon. Nonetheless, the authors explicitly spell out their purpose in language anyone can understand.

“Fundamentally, this paper aims to inform a larger audience on the current status of WQ impairments in Maui, and to essentially ‘sound the alarm’ for concerned citizens, researchers, and state managers to conduct further investigations into what possible effects the Kihei WWRF may be having on the

MM-P: Injection wells. The county injects about three million gallons of tertiary treated waste every day at their wastewater facilities. The central part of the plume from Kihei is at Kalama Beach. I’ve seen it

MM-P: No one seems to have the numbers of total effluent that’s been dumped into the ground, but a couple decades now.

Over time, it’s all accumulated.

This is a pretty contentious issue, and it’s not a happy issue with the county. We just wanted to say, “Here’s the data.” Hopefully, it can inform them to make decisions.

MT: I totally get the importance of remaining objective, but that sentence in your study where you say you want to “sound the alarm” struck me as pretty pointed–not something I’m used to seeing in scientific papers.

ILLUSTRATION BY MAUITIME

ty of the Hawaiian ocean as I have.”

The study’s results are indeed staggering.

According to the study, the water just off Cove Park, Kalama Beach Park and South Kihei all show massive spikes in levels of nitrogen phosphorus, turbidity and chlorophyll a–far in excess of those measured at Kahekili Beach.

In fact, the Marine Pollution Bulletin study showed that Cove Park’s levels of inorganic nitrogen–which kills coral–is more than one hundred times higher than the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) standard.

Studies for the last few decades have shown that increases in those nutrients lead to algal blooms and the death of corals. “A significant and growing concern is the increasing overgrowth of reefs by invasive seaweeds, particularly Acanthophora spicifera, Hypnea musciformis and Ulva spp.,” states the 2014 Department of Land & Natural Resources fact sheet “Status of Maui’s Coral Reefs.” “Shallow reefs in Kihei and Maalaea are now almost totally overgrown by those species… Algal blooms are indicative of a loss of balance between factors which promote algal growth (e.g. nutrient availability) and those which control algal abundance (e.g. grazing).”

It’s impossible to overstate the importance of coral to Hawaii. In addition to protecting the shoreline from a great deal of ocean waves’ power, reefs provide a home for a variety of other marine lifeforms, as well as a major attraction for tourists. Reefs are largely in decline across

MT: How long has this wastewater been seeping into the water off Kihei?

How treated effluent gets in the ocean (not to scale)

from the air–it looks murky, like it’s dirty.

I’m most concerned that there are lots of people who learn to surf there.

I’m not a hydrologist, but in a perfectly functioning system, microbes are supposed to be breaking down that waste as it goes out to sea. But something’s not quite working here because we’re seeing higher levels of nutrients in the water. We don’t have a control, but we can look at areas further away–sites quite a ways away from the wells. And the rates are higher where the [wastewater] facilities are. There’s pretty strong evidence that something’s going on with nutrient levels near these facilities.

MT: Yeah, I read in your study that the “resurfacing groundwater,” as you call it, is “60% to 80% effluent.” How bad is the situation in Kihei?

MM-P: It’s 65 times higher than the EPA standard for turbidity. And in 2012, Cove Park was 109 times higher than the EPA standard for inorganic nitrogen. Nitrogen–and phosphorus–are important to monitor because they encourage algal blooms and kill coral.

MM-P: Yeah, that was even pushing it for me as well, but it’s true. Here’s the data, and maybe people can use it as they see fit.

The coral is a huge part of the tourist industry on Maui. I don’t really understand why there aren’t more studies on this. And it’s a timely issue–you’ve got to pay attention before it’s too late.

Citing active litigation concerning the Kihei wastewater facility, County of Maui Communications Director Rod Antone declined to comment on the news study. A few days after I read the Marine Pollution Bulletin study, I forwarded the article and accompanying news release to Albert Perez, Maui Tomorrow’s executive director, for comment. He called back later that day, shocked and disgusted.

“I was down at the Cove the other day,” Perez told me after he read the study. “Had I known this, I wouldn’t have gone.” ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

MARCH 17, 2016

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12 MARCH 17, 2016

Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

Maui's Newest Meat FAT DADDY’S IN KIHEI TAKES BARBECUE TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

“I did go back and finish the program,” he says. “Then I went to Australia to their Cordon Bleu and got a Bachelors of Business in International Catering and Management. Finally, when I was deciding whether to move to Singapore or back to the states, Hula Grill came in and made me an offer. I came to Maui and five years later I was Executive Chef at Hula Grill.”

Then Fat Daddy’s was up for sale.

“I was with TS Restaurants for about eight years total,” says Schobel. “I loved that job. It was hard to leave that to open my own barbecue restaurant. I knew that I was going to have to make a lot of changes.”

From new flooring, to painting the ceiling to rearranging the bar, Fat Daddy’s looks like an entirely new place. Schobel says he did have to close for about two weeks last November for some of the renovations.

trimmings of the ends of the brisket tossed in sauce and then back into the smoker.

You can order the barbecue by the pound, as a plate with sides or on their spectacular sampler plate that comes with sides to be eaten family-style. Their sides are so good they almost steal the show.

Mac and cheese, chili garlic beans, local seasonal veggies, house-made potato chips and freakin’ amazing corn bread. There is never enough corn bread.

Vegetarians need not be afraid of the smokehouse. The salads are great and there’s even more than one. They offer a Waipoli Farms watercress salad, cole slaw, a local crisp green salad and potato salad.

Schobel has a good bar program going with Fat Tire on tap as well as an Irish ale from Kohala the new Lahaina brewery. Lots of great handcrafted cocktails to savor with your selection of smoked meats.

Chef and Owner Chris Schobel

FAT DADDY’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 808-879-8711 Fatdaddysmaui.com

C

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

hef Chris Schobel kind of always knew he was going to open a barbecue joint, he just didn’t get to it until later in life. So when he got the opportunity to buy Fat Daddy’s Smokehouse restaurant in Kihei a while back, he jumped at it and has slow-rolled major changes here and there, creating a completely new space and new menu right under our noses at this popular Kihei Kalama Village location.

“I used to go to Memphis in May and I lived in Raleigh, North Carolina for six months,” says Schobel. “I have been smok-

ing meat at my Pennsylvania house forever.

My fake restaurant concept in culinary school was a barbecue restaurant. So it’s always been in the back of my mind. I would love to have a barbecue restaurant. I had a vision of what it could be.”

Nailing a barbecue concept restaurant wasn’t the first thing he did on Maui.

“I got started with TS restaurants as an intern when I was 32,” says Schobel. “I was in culinary school in New York freezing my butt off trying to get an internship in Australia. Mark Kowalski was the chef at Hula Grill then Scott McGill came in. He and Peter tried to talk me into staying instead of going back to finish my culinary degree.”

But Schobel says he didn’t bite at the Maui dream then.

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

Family Style BBQ Sampler

Watercress Salad

“We did a lot of our own work,” he says. “We redid all of the tables. It cost a lot more to do some of it that way, but it kept us busy while the doors were closed.”

The dining room has sleek cement floors, wood tables, a communal bench with comfy pillows and great old Hawaiian paniolo imagery on the walls. The bar seats about four. Schobel says that he plans to get new bar stools and such. But the space is already perfect for hunkering down with a giant plate of barbecued meats and sides with a cold drink.

I don’t know the darndest thing about barbecue in terms of how the smoke and lower temps actually cook the meat tenderly over 12 to 16 or more hours. What I do know is that I love the smoky flavor over beef and pork.

They do Angus beef brisket, St. Louis style pork ribs, pulled pork, spicy links, chicken and a chef’s special cut called Burnt Ends.

They aren’t burnt at all, but are the tender

I’m going to tell you now to save room for dessert, as Elizabeth McDonald of Beach Bunny Bakery fame is making the sweets. Like her legendary homemade marshmallow-topped the s’mores cheesecake, which I devoured. I have no idea how my daughter fit a key lime pie on top of a plate of ribs and mac and cheese. Let’s just say she wasn’t going to let us get any bites of it.

Right now Fat Daddy’s is open 4-9pm, but Schobel says he’ll add a lunch hour in the future. He’s also a bit busy with his three-year old daughter Adelaide and expecting a new baby girl in April. Look for his amazing barbecue at the Maui Ag Fest the first week of April, too. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

MARCH 17, 2016 13

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14 MARCH 17, 2016

Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

Veggie Art MAKA BY MANA IN PAIA NAILS VEGETARIAN CUISINE

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

texture–chewy with some bite. These noodles are added to cabbage and carrots with a creamy basil dressing. The dish is a stand-alone salad entree but it also appears in the salad trio made for indecisive diners like myself. You can sample the triple seaweed, twisted beet and royal coconut together on one plate.

Maka serves kombucha, fresh juices and smoothies (from 10am in the morning during their breakfast, straight through to the end of their dinner hour). I really like the recipes–they keep them simple and straightforward. It makes it easy to see whether you’re getting something light and fruity or more hearty and heavy like the root juices. Smoothies are the same.

For breakfast they have acai bowls in a variety of flavors; for something more filling, there’s the open breakfast sandwich of waffle bread with coconut cream cheese and topped with veggies.

I’ve tried most things on the menu, but hadn’t had the soup until recently.

The Soup of the Day was French Onion and it was topped with little bits of their waffle. It was extraordinary. The warm onion broth was rich and the waffle bits soaked in but kept a bit of their crunch.

I’m a new fan. Another incredibly popular dish that you can order as a starter or for dinner is the waffle bread on its own with either sweet onion, roasted garlic or cheesy pesto. Maka by Mana also has a plate lunch option, and a Kiawe Chili that sounds stunning.

One thing I don’t leave without is a coffee or matcha and dessert. Chef Sha’Anan must have a sweet spot for treats because the desserts are phenomenal. Pies made with the coconut kefir are spectacularly creamy and dairy-like, and the ice cream made with coconut milk is better than any dairy ice cream I know. I abso-

Vegan never tasted so good!

MAKA BY MANA 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia 808-579-9125 Makabymana.com

W

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

hen it came time for an anniversary dinner, I wanted to go to a place that my vegetarian husband could dive into. A restaurant where he could order anything off the menu with no limitations. I was looking for something nourishing but still sophisticated and fun.

Maka by Mana in Paia was the perfect choice. Their vegetarian cuisine ranges from raw to live to vegan to gluten-free– from the drinks to the dishes to dessert.

The ambiance in the space is open, clean and vibrant. The old building that used to house another old favorite vegetarian spot has new life.

Maka opened in December 2014 on Baldwin Avenue near the Paia Post Office, just a few doors up from its mothership Mana Foods. Mana Foods’ access to the best organic, locally created foods is conveyed in Maka’s dishes. Chef Sha’Anon has built a menu with high-minded foods that taste and look amazing. One of his secrets is coconut kefir, which is rich in probiotics. He uses the bounty of island coconut in a number of unique ways.

One of my favorite ways to see Sha’Anon’s creative genius is the Royal Coconut Slaw. They take youngish coconut and shave it into noodles. I love the

PHOTO BY MAUITIME

Salad Sampler

Mother Nature's Goodness

Lunch and dinner are basically the same menu of salads and entrees. In the entrees, nearly everything looks like surreal works of veggie art. The Coconut Cream Cheese Stacker features raw rosemary bread layered with avocado, tomato and their housemade sauerkraut, all spackled together with tasty coconut cream cheese.

The coco cream cheese balances out the tangy fermented sauerkraut.

Other tasty entrees include the Za’atar Roll, a Greek-inspired wrap with veggies, tahini and Tzatziki. The soy-free tempeh katsu is made with adzuki beans and served with tepanade. Sandwiches like the Cured Teriyaki Coconut and the hand-made veggie burger are on warm waffle bread and sauced up adequately.

I can’t forget the Redemption Wrap, in which an organic Maui-made tortilla holds greens and Caesar dressing.

lutely adore the edible flower garnishes.

Nature makes the best decorations.

If you follow @maka_by_mana on Instagram, then you know they post pictures of mouthwatering specials they’re working on, like the Coco Kefir Rose Ice Cream. As for the after-dinner drinks, I can’t resist the Brazil Nut Milk that appears in both the blended iced matcha and the cold-pressed blended organic coffee lattes.

But don’t let the raw food terminology intimidate you. There’s a universal language of healthy appeal when it comes to Mother Nature’s colorful fresh juices and smoothies. The dishes are really approachable and delicious, and the desserts will captivate you. Your body will thank you. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

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16 MARCH 17, 2016

Picks

by Marina Satoafaiga

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, MAR. 17 ST. PATRICK’S DAY – South Shore Tiki Lounge goes green for St. Patrick’s Day. Guinness, Bud Light Green and Jameson specials will flow all night. Fireball Thursdays will keep you warm into the early morning. DJ Big Mike will be in the mix spinning your favorite tunes.

No cover. 21+. 10pm. South Shore Tiki Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.), Southshoretikilounge.com.

Photo courtesy South Shore Tiki Lounge

THE LEPRECHAUN CHASE – Maui Running presents the eighth annual Leprechaun Chase at the Kahului Ale House. e. eYou can win big in three categories: Can you Catch The Leprechaun?, Keiki Dash (ages 2-12) and a costume contest. Entryy includes a race t-shirt, food, beverage and a chance to win cash. h.

Race Day Registration is $20 for kids dash, $30 for kids’ s’ three-mile, $40 for adults’ three-mile. 4pm registration. on.

5:30pm race. Kahului Ale House (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului), Mauirunning.com. Photo courtesy of MauiRunning.com g.com

THURSDAY, MAR. 17 UNCLE WAYNE AND THE HOWLING DOG BAND – Jam out with Uncle Wayne Watkins and the Howling Dog Band this Thursday, Mar. 17 through Saturday, Mar. 19 at the Makawao (Mar. 17), Wailuku (Mar. 18) and Kihei (Mar. 19) public libraries. Keiki ages two to six are invited for a fun and educational program. Uncle Wayne will lead the kids with original compositions and age-appropriate material. All keiki must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver. Free.

Librarieshawaii.org. Photo courtesy Libraries Hawaii

LEPRECHAUN COSTUME CONTEST – Calling all Leprechauns to Lahaina Sports Bar for St. Patty‘s Day Shenanigans. Green Beer, Jameson, Guinness and Car Bombs will be on special. If you as a leprechaun, take a picture at the bar and post it to Lahaina Sports Bar’s Facebook page for a chance to win cash! May the best leprechaun win. Lahaina Sports Bar (843 Wainee St., Lahaina), Lahainasportsbar.com/index.html. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

THURSDAY, MAR. 17 ‘BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA’ – Celebrate the 30th anniversary of John Carpenter’s 1986 cult classic Big Trouble in Little China with NERDWatch and Maui Comics & Collectibles at the Maui Mall Megaplex. Starring Kurt Russell and Kim Cattrall, the film is about a trucker who gets caught up in a centuries-old mystical battle. Attendees are encouraged to wear costumes (but no weapons or masks). 7:30pm. Maui Mall Megaplex (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Tugg.com/events/86450. Photo: IMDB

EAT, DRINK AND BE IRISH – Eat, drink and be Irish at Down The Hatch in Lahaina. Enjoy beer, whiskey and corn beef & cabbage specials all day. DJ SURGe will keep the festivity going, starting at 10pm. Be sure to wear green to steer clear of the mean pinches.

Down The Hatch (658 Front St., Lahaina), Dthmaui.com. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

FRIDAY, MAR. 18 QUEEN KA‘AHUMANU’S BIRTHDAY – Head to the Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center for a birthday celebration fit for royalty. The program will feature an oli (chant), pule (blessing), history, hula, mele (song) and draping of lei on the Queen’s statue by the ‘Ahahui Ka‘ahumanu Society. Enjoy the rich falsetto of Uncle Richard Ho‘opi‘i and ‘ohana. Bask in the royal festivity of King Kamehameha’s favorite wife. 6-8pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Queenkaahumanucenter.com.

Photo courtesy Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center

THE MIDTOWN MEN – The Maui Arts and Cultural Center (MACC) hosts The Midtown Men. Comprised of Christian Hoff, Michael Longoria, Daniel Reichard and J. Robert Spencer, the former Jersey Boys revisit the hit tunes of Motown, the Beatles, the Turtles and more. $35-125. 7:30pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural Center (1 Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

SATURDAY, MAR. 19 BLUE HAWAII SHOW – The Rotary Club of Kihei Wailea presents Blue Hawaii at Mulligan’s on the Blue. Featuring Elvis (Darren Lee) and his band, silent auction, buffet dinner and dancing, it’s sure to be a great evening. It’s all a benefit for scholarships, Student Leadership Camp and the Rotary Club’s many community service projects. $65. 5-9pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Kihei), Mauirotary.org.

Photo courtesy Rotary Club of Kihei Wailea ailea

HO‘OMAU CONCERT – Celebrate the perpetuation of the Hawaiian Language during the 29th annual Ho‘omau Concert at Maui ui Nui Botanical Gardens. It’s a benefit for Punana Leo o Maui, the island’s premiere Hawaiian language immersion preschool, and nd the public is invited to learn from cultural practitioners, enjoy live e Hawaiian music, partake in hale 'awa, shop 40+ of Maui’s best crafters, savor ono food and more. Piilani Arias and the keiki of Punana Leo O Maui will perform. 10 years and under free. $10 presale. $15 at the door. 9am-sunset. Maui Nui Botanical Gar Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Wailuku), Hoomau.com. Photo courtesy Ho‘omau

SATURDAY, MAR. 19 ALBA’S CUBAN COLADAS GRAND OPENING – You’re invited to Alba’s Cuban Coladas Grand Opening in Kahului. ului.

Serving authentic Cuban coffee and food, guests can look forward to Arroz con Pollo, Empanadas de Carne and Cafe Cubano. They’re promising fresh and locally sourced items, so you should show up hungry. 8am. Alba’s Cuban Coladas (111 111 Kahului Beach Rd., Kahului), Albascubancoladas.com. om.

Photo courtesy Alba’s Cuban Coladas

SATURDAY, MAR. 19 SHAKA SHAMROCK – St. Patrick’s Day continues on the lanai above Beach Bums in Ma‘alaea. Shaka Shamrock all night with DJ Big Mike, Poundtown, DJ Kurt, DJ Trvr and Monks at Maui’s newest hang out. Enjoy pupus from Oceanside Restaurant and cool off with Hula Cookies and ice cream. $20. 18+ Welcome. 21+BYOB. Maui Harbor Shops (300 Ma`alaea Rd.), Facebook.com/allaccess808. Photo courtesy DJ Big Mike’s Facebook page

WENDY LIEBMAN – Hawaii’s Natural High presents comedian Wendy Liebman at the MACC. She’s appeared on HBO, Comedy Central and Showtime, as well as on Letterman, Leno and Kimmel. The America’s Got Talent Season 9 semifinalist keeps audiences laughing. $26+.

7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy Wendy Liebman’s Facebook page

SUNDAY, MAR. 20 SUND MAUI 5K –The fifth annual Maui 5k returns to the Ma‘alaea Triangle. Participants can choose from the 5K event or a 1-Mile Run/Walk. Artist Robert Lyn Nelson will be featured on this year’s participant t-shirts. Can’t make it? A “Virtual Run” option is available. Proceeds from the event will benefit participating schools’ physical fitness, play and athletic programs. $30. 7am.

Ma‘alaea Triangle (300 Ma’alaea Rd.), Info@maui5k.org.

Photo: RandyHI.com

MARCH 17, 2016

17

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18 MARCH 17, 2016

Locals and visitors depend on Mauitime to find out “Where to Go” and “What to Eat.” Our upcoming special FOOD ISSUE is YOUR chance to reach Mauitime’s exclusive readership. Remember, people just like you and your employees refer restaurants to visitors and other locals every day. Be on the tip of their tongue as our island’s busy season rolls around. Don’t miss your chance to be part of this very special FOOD ISSUE.

Call today for space reservations and color specials!

Film

by Barry Wurst II

The Secret Movie ‘10 Cloverfield Lane’ is a terrific mystery ★★★★★ Rated PG-13 / 103 Min.

H

ere’s how the Hollywood publicity machine usually works: the typical “event” movie we see every year is aggressively advertised through trailers, TV and online ads, posters and billboards. By the time the movie in question opens, we often feel bludgeoned and obligated to see something that has been relentlessly promoted for over a year. Seriously, think back to a time in your life before you knew about Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice. It’s not so easy, is it? By the time Star Wars: The Force Awakens or Deadpool opened, the only people on Earth who hadn’t seen the trailer were living on Tibetan mountain tops.

On the other hand, there’s 10 Cloverfield Lane, a movie no one knew even existed until Jan. 25 of this year (the day the trailer dropped out of nowhere). It opened a mere 47-days later and somehow, in the age of information, maintained its air of mystery. The efforts of executive producer J.J. Abrams to keep his movie a secret were unprecedented. More importantly, the film is terrific.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead stars as Michelle, a car crash survivor who finds herself in a hermetically sealed survivalist shelter. Her host and captor, Howard (John Goodman) informs her that, for reasons I’ll keep secret, they can never leave. The only other person living with them is Emmett (John Gallagher Jr. of Short Term 12), who designed and built the shelter for Howard.

What occurs is incredibly claustrophobic and sometimes shocking. There are welcome, if brief, moments of comic relief but the suspense never lags from start to finish. This is the feature film debut of Dan Trachtenberg, who displays a directorial confidence and control in pacing that eludes most first-time filmmakers.

While structured like a three-person play, this isn’t entirely dialogue-driven and never loses its unsettling tone. The title brings to mind Abrams’ 2008 foundfootage monster movie Cloverfield, though I won’t comment on whether there’s a literal or only tonal connection.

Goodman has exuded a cuddly persona for so long, his work here is a reminder of how good he is playing a darker character.

The film itself is like his performance: deliciously nutty and unpredictable.

No Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

This is one of the best roles Winstead has ever had. She’s shined in independent projects but her career in mainstream movies kept getting tripped up by poor choices or little seen projects. The strength of her work here should finally change all that. Gallagher Jr.’s character and performance kept me guessing the most, as Emmett appears to be the most sensible of Howard’s “guests.”

Reports have surfaced that another film based on Rod Serling’s classic TV series The Twilight Zone is in the works. Until that happens, here’s a movie that gives a prime example of what to aim for. Ser-

ling fans will recall classic Twilight Zone episodes like “The Shelter” and “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” as they watch this. Its best scenes demonstrate how rewarding it is when movies are willing to take a risk and genuinely spring something bold on filmgoers.

In an age where most movies are made and promoted the same way, we’re fortunate that Trachtenberg and Abrams are resorting to old school showmanship. 10 Cloverfield Lane , both the movie itself and how we discovered it, is an exercise in surprising its audience. More, please. ■

GET YOUR EVENT ON MAUITIME SUBMIT AND EDIT YOUR EVENTS BY GOING TO

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MARCH 17, 2016 19

THURS | 3/17

THURSDAY NIGHTS WITH

MARK JOHNSTONE & LENNY CASTELLANOS

EVENTS

Jersey Boys stars celebrating music of the 60s

THE MIDTOWN MEN FRI March 18 7:30 pm Castle

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER FRI | 3/18

Hawai‘i’s Natural High presents comedienne

90’S NIGHT WITH DJ BLAST!

SAT March 19 7:30 pm McCoy

SAT | 3/19

Maui Pops Orchestra’s SPRING POPS with

10PM • $10 COVER

NO MUSIC TONIGHT

WENDY LIEBMAN

Pianist Ian Parker

SUN | 3/20

SUN March 20 3:00 pm Castle

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM

Community Experts in Discussion on

DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MON | 3/21

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • NO COVER

TUES | 3/22

TOM CONWAY

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

WED | 3/23

RYAN ROBINSON

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui.

Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

WHAT IS MANA?

SUN March 20 3:00 pm McCoy Maui debut of amazing singer from Oscarwinning 20 Feet From Stardom documentary

LISA FISCHER & Grand Baton THU March 24 7:30 pm Castle

Starry Night Cinema - INSIDE OUT SAT March 26 Amphitheater FREE! Gates 5:30/7:00 movie

2016 Maui Brewers Festival

142 HANA HWY a PAIA a 808.579.8085

Saturday, May 14 Tickets go on sale today! mauiarts.org

BLE & A D A P TA T H IG R B LE MUST BE S D E S IR A B L IL K S R E T COMPU IT OOL CRED EARN SCH

Email Inquiries to interns@mauitime.com 16 S. Market Street, Ste. 2k Wailuku, HI 96793

20 MARCH 17, 2016

Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) London Has Fallen- R- THU 11:00 12:00 1:20 2:20

3:40 4:40 6:00 7:15 8:15, FRI-THU 11:00 12:00 1:20 2:20 3:40 4:40 6:00 7:15 8:15 9:25 10:25 Love Is Blind- NR- FRI-THU 11:15 1:30 3:45 6:00 8:10 10:20 Risen-NA- THU 11:15 2:00 4:25 7:15, FRI-THU 11:15 2:00 4:25 7:15 9:50 Deadpool-R- THU 11:00 12:00 1:50 2:50 4:20 5:20 7:00 8:00, FRI-THU 11:00 12:00 1:50 2:50 4:20 7:00 8:00 9:45 10:25 Always Be My Maybe- NR- THU 11:30 2:15 5:00 7:45

MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) Miracles from Heaven- PG- THU 11:30 2:10

4:50 7:30 10:10, FRI 11:10 1:50 4:30 7:10 10:50, SAT-WED 11:10 1:50 4:30 7:10 10:50.

Ten Commandments (1956)- SUN 2:00 7:00, WED 2:00 7:00.

The Bronze- R- THU 8:00 10:40, FRI-SAT 11:00 1:30 4:10 6:50 9:20, SUN 1:10 3:50 6:50 9:20, MON-TUE 11:00 1:30 4:10 6:50 9:20, WED 11:00 1:10 3:50 6:50 9:20.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant- PG13- THU 8:00 10:00, FRI-SAT 10:50 11:20 1:40 2:10 4:30 5:00 7:20 7:50 10:10 10:40, SUN 10:50 1:40 2:10 4:30 5:00 7:20 10:10 10:40, MON-WED 10:50 11:20 1:40 2:10 4:30 5:00 7:20 7:50 10:10 10:40.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot- R- THU (11:40 2:00 5:20) 10:10.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot/Anomalisa - FRI 11:10 1:50 4:00 6:40 9:20, SAT 11:10 1:50 4:00 6:40 9:20, SUN 11:10 1:50 4:00, MON-TUE 11:10 1:50 4:00 6:40 9:20, WED 11:10 4:00.

10 Cloverfield Lane -PG13- THU (12:00 2:40 5:20) 7:40 10:50, FRI-SAT 11:40 2:10 4:40 7:30

10:00, SUN 2:10 4:40 7:30 10:00, MON-WED 11:40 2:10 4:40 7:30 10:00.

The Brothers Grimsby- R- THU (11:40 2:50 5:00) 7:50 11:00, FRI-SAT 10:50 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50, SUN 10:50 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50, MON-WED 10:50 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50.

The Young Messiah- PG13- THU (11:30 2:10 4:50) 7:30 10:10, FRI-SAT 11:00 1:40 4:20 7:00 9:40, SUN 1:40 4:20 7:00 9:40, MON-TUE 11:00 1:40 4:20 7:00 9:40, WED 1:40 4:20 7:00 9:40.

Zootopia -PG- 2D THU (11:40 1:20 2:20 5:00) 7:40 9:20 10:20. 3D THU (12:10 1:50 4:00 4:30) 6:40 7:20 10:40. 2D FRI-SAT 11:10 1:50 2:20 4:30 7:10 7:40 9:50, 3D 11:40 5:00 10:20.

2D SUN 11:10 1:50 2:20 4:30 7:10 7:40 9:50, 3D 11:40 5:00 10:20. 2D MON-WED 11:10 1:50 2:20 4:30 7:40 9:50, 3D 11:40 5:00 10:20.

Gods of Egypt-PG13- 2D THU 1:50, 3D 11:30 4:50. 2D FRI-SAT 10:50 4:50 9:50, 3D 1:50 7:50. 2D SUN 1:50 7:50, 3D 10:50 4:50 9:50.

2D MON-WED 10:50 4:50 9:50, 3D 1:50 7:50.

Kung Fu Panda 3- 2D THU (11:30 4:50) 10:00,

3D THU (2:30). 2D FRI-SAT 10:50 4:50 10:50, SUN 10:50 10:50, MON-TUE 10:50 4:50 10:50, WED 10:50 10:50.

The Hateful Eight- R- FRI-SAT 1:00 7:00, SUN 7:00, MON-TUE 1:00 7:00, WED 7:00.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens- PG13- 2D THU (11:30 2:20 4:40) 8:00 10:20 Eddie The Eagle- PG13- THU (11:30 2:30 5:00) 7:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) The Divergent Series: Allegiant- PG13- THU 7:00 9:50, FRI-WED 12:45 3:45 7:00 9:50.

10 Cloverfield Lane -PG13- THU 1:15 4:05 7:00 9:50, FRI-WED 1:15 4:05 6:50 9:40.

Zootopia- PG- 2D THU 1:00 6:45, 3D 4:00 9:30.

2D FRI-WED 1:00 6:45, 3D 4:00 9:30.

London Has Fallen- R- THU 1:30 4:15

Last chance to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens

ON BAL DWIN AVENUE

NEW THIS WEEK THE BRONZE - R - Comedy/Drama - A foulmouthed former gymnast must fight for her celebrity status when a young athlete comes to town. 108 min.

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT– PART 1 - PG13 - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Tris and Four must escape and learn the shocking truth of what’s beyond the wall that encircles Chicago (spoiler: it’s another movie). 121 min.

LOVE IS BLIND - NR - Romance/Comedy - A plain young woman meets a guy who thinks she isn’t right for him. Hilarity ensues. 118 min.

MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN - PG - Drama A young girl with a terrible digestive disorder is suddenly cured after a bad accident. Stars Jennifer Garner. 109 min.

TCM PRESENTS: TEN COMMANDMENTS NR - Drama/Adventure - See a special screening of the 1956 epic in which Charlton Heston plays Moses. 220 min.

ANOMALISA - R - Drama/Animation - An ordinary man who can’t deal with people suddenly meets an extraordinary stranger. Written and directed by Charlie Kaufman. 90 min.

THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY - R - Action/ Comedy - A dangerous spy is forced to team up with his football hooligan brother. Stars Sacha Baron Cohen. 83 min.

DEADPOOL - R - Action/Adventure - The foulmouthed merc with a mouth finally jumps from the comics to the big screen. Stars Ryan Reynolds and a bunch of other people. 108 min.

GODS OF EGYPT - PG13 - Fantasy - A gaggle of white actors portray Egyptian gods because Hollywood has apparently become stuck in 1932. 100 min.

THE HATEFUL EIGHT - R - Drama/Western - Quentin Tarantino’s eighth movie finds eight people trapped in a remote wilderness cabin during a blizzard dealing with deception and betrayal. 168 min.

NOW PLAYING

KUNG FU PANDA 3 - PG - Animation - The Kung Fu Panda is back, presumably to do more kung fu and panda stuff. Voices by Jack Black and Angelina Jolie. 95 min.

10 CLOVERFIELD LANE - PG13 - Drama/SciFi - After getting into a wreck, a woman is held captive by two guys who say the world is under attack from chemical weapons. See this week’s film review. 105 min.

LONDON HAS FALLEN - R - Action/Thriller - In this sequel to Olympus Has Fallen, Secret Service Agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) uncovers a plot to assassinate world leaders at a funeral. 99 min.

RISEN - PG13 - Action/Bible - The story of Jesus’ resurrection, as told through Roman eyes. 107 min.

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT - R - War/Comedy - Tina Fey stars in this look at real life war correspondent Kim Baker as she covers the fighting in Afghanistan. 112 min.

THE YOUNG MESSIAH - PG13 - Drama - The story of a seven-year-old Jesus and his family (who actually weren’t white as portrayed here but whatever) as they move to Nazareth. 111 min.

ZOOTOPIA - PG - Animation/Adventure - A fox that’s a fugitive con artist must team up with a bunny that’s a rookie cop to stop a conspiracy. Voices

by Ginnifer Goodwin and Jason Bateman. 108 min.

LIVE ON THE MAIN STAGE SIERRA & THE NOMADS EXERGY 35 CHI RIBBON DANCING IN THE MAUI HAND’S PARKING LOT MAUI MERMAIDS PHOTOBOOTH WITH LIVE MERMAIDS! KEIKI ZONE SPIDER JUMPER BUNGIE TRAMPOLINE FACE PAINTING BALLOON ANIMALS GOOD EATS & MORE!

LAST CHANCE ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE - NR - Romance/ Comedy - A guy and girl try to help each other out in their respective quests to win back their exes. 103 min.

EDDIE THE EAGLE - PG13 - Sports/Biography - The story of British ski jumper Eddie Edwards, who captured the world’s hearts at the 1988 Olympics. 105 min.

a free family event

MAUIFRIDAYS.COM

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Thirty-two years isn’t so long to wait for a sequel to Return of the Jedi, right? 135 min.

MARCH 17, 2016 21

Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS PRIDE NIGHT GLBT - Thu. Mar 17. Join them for late night drinking and dancing with resident DJ Benjamin. Proceeds benefit the Maui AIDS Foundation and Maui Pride. $5. 10pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com MAKAWAO 3RD FRIDAYS - Fri. Mar 18. Live entertainment, classic car showcase, keiki activities, great food and more. Don’t forget to bring a canned food item for Maui Food Bank. 5:30pm. Makawao Town, (Baldwin Avenue, Makawao); Mauifridays.com ‘90S NIGHT - Fri, Mar 18. Head to the North Shore this weekend to get totally awesome with all your cool throwback friends. Enjoy another fun ‘90s night with DJ Blast in the mix. 21+, $10 cover. 10pm. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); Charleysmaui.com SOUL KITCHEN YELP PARTY- Fri, Mar 18. Join Soul Kitchen Maui, Maui Yelp ambassador Bridgett Parker and friends for some Friday night fun in beautiful Wailea. It will be a night of music, food, drink and some special Yelp goodies to give away.

7-9pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com ROOTZ N CREATION - Fri. Mar 18. The official party after the Third Friday Town Party in Makawao, Rootz N Creation features Teomon, Shore, Kokomon and Rambo of Judah Sound system. $10. 9:30pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com MAUI HIGH LIFE BAND CELEBRATES THE VERNAL EQUINOX - Sat. Mar 19. Enjoy a wonderful evening and dance to this live Afro-funk band.

It’s a fundraiser for La‘a Kea Farms, a nonprofit organization where youth and adults with special needs are a thriving ohana. $10. 7pm. La‘a Kea Farm, (639 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-8398; Laakea.org SICNICKLES WITH DJ SWEET BEETS - Sat. Mar 19. Maui’s best funky rock blues band is back at Casanova. $10. 10pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA - Sun. Mar 20. Features internationally acclaimed pianist Ian Parker.

He will be performing Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1. Tickets are $15-50; Half-price students 18 and under (plus applicable fees). Student discount does not apply to $15 tickets. 3pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org

ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Ka‘anapali Ocean Resort Villas, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com ST. PATRICK’S DAY - Thu. Mar 17. Celebrate St. Patrick’s day at Diamond with corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s Pie and drink specials.

Catch the shuttle to Dog and Duck for double the fun. 3pm. Diamond’s Ice Bar and Grill, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299; Diamondsicebar.com ‘LET’S GET LUCKY’ - Thu. Mar 17. Featuring DJs TRVR, SNWLPRD and Lobstah, Bagpipes by Roger McKinley, Visuals by VJ Professor LightWAV and face-painting by Rachel DeBoer. $10. 9:45pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com ST. PATRICK’S DAY - Thu, Mar 17. Start the night off with “Go Getum,” then enjoy a night of dancing from the DJ until closing. Don’t forget your green and always dress to impress. Drink specials all night. 6:30-10pm. Paradise Grill (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700; Paradisegrillkb.com NIGHT DANCE PARTY - Thu. Mar 17 - Fri. Mar 18. Join DJ Blast for a St. Paddy’s dance party with drink specials all night at Ambrosia’s. 9pm.

Ambrosia Martini Lounge, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; Ambrosiamaui.com GET LUCKY IN WAILUKU - Thu. Mar 17. For the first time, Wailuku is painting the town green as it celebrates St. Patrick’s Day. Festivities include pupus, dinner, shopping and a beer and wine garden. Cruise through Wailuku and fill a stamp card to enter a drawing for a $500 Wailuku package.

Stamp cards can be picked up at your first Wailuku stop. Shop at the participating businesses to fill out your stamp card. 4pm. Wailuku Town, (Market and Main Street, Wailuku) ST. PATRICK'S DAY FUNDRAISER - Thu. Mar 17. You don't need to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with ROOTS School! Support the school, enjoy a great meal, bid in the silent auction and have a little fun. Don't forget your favorite hat, from bowlers to tam o'shanters. 5pm. Rock and Brews, (120 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9011; Rockandbrews.com/paia

STAGE ‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Delight in the richness of Hawaiian history and culture through music and dance. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com

ST. PATRICK’S DAY - Thu. Mar 17. It’s an Irish celebration with corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s Pie and drink specials. For double the fun, catch the shuttle to Diamond’s and don’t forget to wear green!

Dog and Duck Irish Pub, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808875-9669; Theworldfamousdogandduck.com

WARREN AND ANNABELLE’S MAGIC SHOW Daily (except Sun). Warren Gibson, one of the country’s best magicians, treats you to the best “close-up” magic and comedy in a beautiful 78-seat venue. $64 for regular, $104.50 for the Royal Flush package. 5pm. Warren and Annabelle’s, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-6244; Warrenandannabelles.com

ST. PATRICK’S DAY DINNER - Thu. Mar 17. The Makena Beach and Golf Resort invites you to celebrate the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day holiday, as they serve up a special menu full of traditional Irish American food. $10-12 appetizer, $28 entrée, $8 dessert. As an additional value, the restaurant is offering diners the chance to sample all three entrees for $36. 5:30pm. Molokini Bar and Grille Makena Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com

BURN’N LOVE - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Performer Darren Lee makes it easy for you to relive the days of Blue Hawaii. Tickets start at $59.99; Children 12 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com

SHAMROCKS & SAVASANA - Thu. Mar 17.

Join Spa Helani, a Heavenly Spa by Westin, for its first yoga and beverage social of the year.

‘Om away your ills with a sunset yoga class by local yogini, Julie Mitchell, on the resort’s Ocean Lawn. $15 per person, includes one glass of St. Patrick’s Day ale. $5 will be donated to Women Helping Women Maui Chapter. 5:30pm. Westin

‘GUYS AND DOLLS’ - Thu. Mar 17. Frank Loesser’s 1950 Pulitzer Prize-winning and Tony Awardwinner for Best Musical, Guys and Dolls is based on the short stories by American author Damon Runyon. $20-40. 7:30pm. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; Mauionstage.com

22 MARCH 17, 2016

WILLIE K & THE WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND - Thu. This Hawaiian phenomenon captivates audi-

ences around the world with his astounding performances and remarkable array of musical styles. $60 Dinner and Show, $25 Show Only. Call for reservations. 6:30pm. The King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com

side the chef, working in a state-of-the-art commercial kitchen and learning some tricks of the trade from one of Maui’s best teaching chefs. Reservations required. $95. 5:30pm. Sugar Beach Events, (85 N. Kihei Rd.); 808-856-6151; Sugarbeacheventshawaii.com

KUPANAHA MAGIC SHOW - Thu. Watch “Maui’s Magical Family” team up with the Kupanaha dancers. See scintillating hula interpretations bring spectacular illusions, charm and culture to the stage.. $99. 4:45pm. Kupanaha Magic, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011; Kupanaha.com

ITALY’S GRAND CASTELLO BANFI WINERY - Sat. Mar 19. The Makena Beach and Golf Resort welcomes back Castello Banfi Winery. There will be a special seven-course menu designed by the resort’s Chef Kurt Lesmerises. Reservations required.

6:30pm. Molokini Bar and Grille, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com

ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Fri. Mar 11. Get onboard for lots of fun, food and dancing on Pacific Whale Foundation’s Island Rhythms Sunset Cocktail Cruise with local reggae star Marty Dread. This cruise includes delicious appetizers, perfectly mixed Mai Tais and other cocktails. 4:30pm. (Ma‘alaea Harbor); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org

JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat. Join Japengo’s sushi chef in their chic sushi lounge.

Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jin Hosono and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. Maximum 20 people per class, reservations are required. 3pm. Japengo, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com

AN EVENING WITH ALBERT EINSTEIN - Fri. Mar 18. Come enjoy a performance of “An evening with Albert Einstein” by Rick Scheideman.

6:30pm. The Pioneer Inn, (658 Wharf St, Lahaina); 808-276-4201; Pioneerinn-maui.com

SUNDAY HAWAIIAN MUSIC JAM SESSION Sun. How do you take Sunday Brunch and make it better? By listening to Hawaii’s most talented musicians, of course. $50/adult, $25/children. 10am. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com

COMEDY AND MAGIC WITH HOLDEN MOWAT - Sun. Mar 13. Fun for all ages. 11:30am.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com BRENTON KEITH AND HIS BAG O TRICKS - Tue. Mar 15. High-Energy Comedy and Magic Show! Fun for all ages with Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Trick at Mulligans. Free. 6:30pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com POWER UP COMEDY WITH CHINO LAFORGE - Tue. Mar 22. Stand up comedy with Chino LaForge at Three’s Bar. 5:30pm. Three’s Bar and Grill, (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed. Come see the masters of Hawaiian music with his Slack Key Show Ohana: Peter deAquino, Sterling Seaton and dancer Wainani Kealoha. $37.99. 7:30pm. Napili Kai Beach Resort Aloha Pavilion, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; Napilikai.com

KO SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun. Enjoy Chef Tylun Pang’s healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Go early–the laulau special is first-come, firstserved and does sell out. 5pm. Ko, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-2210; Korestaurant.com INDUSTRY NIGHT - Mon. Mar 21. Two-for-one select dinner entrees with proof of restaurant and/ or hospitality employment. 5pm. Kono’s on the Green, (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com BURGERS N’ BREWS - Mon. Mar 21. Featuring a selection of burgers using locally sourced meats and produce paired with Maui Brewing Company beer.

5:30pm. Ocean Pool Bar and Grill, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com TACO TUESDAY - Tue. Mar 22 - Wed. Mar 16.

Enjoy Tacos all day at Playmaker’s. 10am. Playmakers Sports Bar, (928 L. Main St, Wailuku); 808-244-4804

NA LIO KEIKI DAY - Wed. Mar 23. Bring your family to a fun evening with their miniature horses, Julio and Freedom. This is a theatrical production with horses that tells the story of the Hawaiian cowboy. There will be games, crafting, coloring and refreshments. Free.

5:30pm. Na Lio Gift Shop, (335 Keawe St., Lahaina); 808-270-2255; Naliomaui.com

LUAU DINNER SHOW - Tue. The Ka‘anapali Beach Club is proud to announce their new luau dinner show–Huaka‘I: Journey through Polynesia. The hula performances are beautiful and all will enjoy the fire knife dance finale. 6pm.

Ka‘anapali Beach Club, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-661-2000; Diamondresorts.com

MAUI FOODIE

ART SCENE

HALE KU‘AI OPEN MARKET - Thu. Features fresh assorted fruits and vegetables. Free. 11am. Hale Ku‘ai, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156.

NATIONAL CALL FOR ARTISTS - Now - Sun. May 15. Artist entries sought for Hawaii National Parks 2016 Centennial Juried Exhibition. This will be Schaefer’s first national call to artists to submit their work for consideration by jurors. Applications will be accepted online. Schaefer International Gallery, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Callforentry.org

PLANTATION HOUSE WINE SERIES - Thu. At Plantation House, the monthly wine series is back with specials from selected featured wineries each month. Chef Jojo Vasquez will create specialty-pairing menus for each monthly series and phenomenal specials will be available on selected premium bottles.

2pm. Plantation House, (2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6299; Theplantationhouse.com FAMILY WINEMAKERS OF CALIFORNIA WINE DINNER - Fri. Mar 18. Enjoy a five-course wine dinner hosted by Charles Fredy and Chef Jonathan Haynes. $125. 6pm. The Banyan Tree, (1 Ritz-Carton Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-7096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree WHISKEY STEAKHOUSE COOKING CLASS Sat. Mar 19. Experience an evening in the kitchen with Chef Lee of Sugar Beach Events Hawaii. Roll up your sleeves and expand your mind and recipe book along-

VIEWPOINTS GALLERY HAWAII CONTEMPORARY - Sat. Mar 5 - Wed. Apr 13. Opening reception with artist Tim Garcia. 5pm. Viewpoints Gallery, (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-5979; Viewpointsgallerymaui.com BETH COOPER - Fri. Mar 4 - Sun. Apr 3. Beth Cooper’s vibrant art will be featured in Lahaina Arts Society’s Banyan Tree Gallery. There will be a reception to meet the artist from 6-8 pm. 8:00am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org AMY MADRIN JUSTEN - Mon. Mar 7 - Sun. Apr 3. Amy Madrin Justen’s new watercolor paintings

TheGRID

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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3/18

3/19

3/20

3/21-3/23

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AMBROSIA

St. Paddy’s Dance Party w/ DJ Blast, 9pm

Saturday Night Diva w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

PURE: Top 40, House & EDM w/DJ Big Mike

House Party Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze

“Let’s Get Lucky” w/ TRVR, SNWLPRD and more, 9:45pm $10

Rootz N Creation, 9:30pm $10

Sicknickles & DJ Sweet Beets, 10pm $10

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos, 6:30pm

90s Night w/ DJ Blast, 10pm $10

No music

Bloody Mary Bar!

MON- Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7pm, TUE-Tom Conway 6:30pm, WED-Ryan Robinson 6:30pm

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carrol 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:-9pm; no cover

MON - Da Ukulele Boyz, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm WED-Benny Uyetake 7-9

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

St. Patricks Day Party

Poundtown, 10pm

House Music

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

TUE & WED- Pool League

St. Patty’s Day Bash & Live Music

DJ Jamo, 10pm

DJ Jamo, 10pm

Steve Craig 6-9pm SIN 9pm

MON-Bartenders Mix, TUE - Bingo 7pm, WED- Louis & Lewis

Eat, Drink & Be Irish!

Food, Drinks & Music

Uncle Lou, 5-7pm

Fresh Squeezed Fridays

(Rooftop closed for a private event)

I-Drive

I-Drive

Paul Marchetti Band

MON- Houseshakers, TUE-Kanekoa, WED- Cole Sulenta

St. Paddy’s Day Party All Day, Kanoa 9pm

Rick G 4pm, Dat Guys 9pm

Island Reggae, 9pm

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm

MON-Karaoke Rick G 4-8pm, TUE-Rick G 4-8pm, Karaoke 9pm, WED- Rick G 4-8pm, Open Mic 9pm

Pride Night Benefit w/ DJ Benjamin, 10pm $5

Club Hard Rock, 10pm $10 cover

Latin Night w/ DJ Danny Q, 10pm, cover

Evan Shulman, 8pm no cover

WED- Howard Ahia & Guest, 8pm no cover

BLACK ROCK LOUNGE Sheraton Maui Resort, 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy, 661-0031

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

of birds are now featured in Lahaina Arts Society’s Old Jail Gallery. 8am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE - Thu. Browse sculptures, paintings, photography, woodturnings and ceramics from select local artists. Located in the lobby near the Botero Lounge. 9am. Grand Wailea, (3850 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com ISLAND ART PARTY ALL AGES CLASSES Thu. Mar 17. It’s part art party, part painting class.

Check online schedule for class times and availability. $59. 10am. Island Art Party, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-419-6020; Islandartparty.com 2016 SOLO ARTIST EXHIBITION WITH MELISSA CHIMERA & GABRIELLE ANDERMAN - Thu. Mar 17. Melissa Chimera will present “Agents of Change,” a series of mixed media works on linen about extinction, globalization and our role as humans on these processes. Gabrielle Anderman will present “Being Here,” which explores the relationship to the present. Free.

5pm. Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com MORT LUBY - Thu. Mar 17. Mort Luby paints in oil and watercolor. The scope of his work encompasses everything from life drawings to huge oil paintings of historical scenes. 2pm. Maui Hands Hyatt, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-7997; Mauihands.com WHALES AND WINTER MIGRATION - Thu. Mar 17. Explore Maui and the winter migration of humpback whales to Hawaii waters with photographer Douglas Jay Hoffman. He’s well know for fine art photographs of whales, coral reefs, marine life, island scenes, beaches, sunsets and waterfalls.

3pm. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/Kapalua-Bay LEE OLULANI PLEVNEY - Fri. Mar 18. Come and meet this talented ceramic artist. Her handbuilt forms are inspired by Hawaii’s natural beauty.

11am. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com IAN HAIGHT - Fri. Mar 18. Ian will be working

on his beach and ocean wave inspired paintings.

4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. Lahaina Printsellers invites you to visit our gallery, for live music and Mai Tais while they showcase their artist of the week. Free. 6pm. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd., (764 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com ARTISTS AT THE TEA BOX - Sat. Mar 19.

What goes better together than art and tea? Enjoy sipping your favorite cup of tea while watching Maui’s premiere artists do their thing. 12pm.

Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com MONTAGE ART EXHIBITION - Sun. Mar 20.

Located at the Sunset Room, admire and purchase artwork from various artists on Maui. 8am.

Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr, Kapalua); 808662-6600; Montagehotels.com/Kapalua-Bay JANA ASPIN - Tue. Mar 22. Meet copper enamel Artist Jana Aspin. 10am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org PATRICK CHING - Sun. Mar 20. Whale drawing and painting. This event will be filmed for Patrick Ching’s Painting In Paradise Show on OC16. Email Patrick for reservations and information. 12pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com; Patrick@Paintinginparadise.TV ARTS AND CRAFT FAIR - Sun. Mar 20. Find the perfect gift and support local artists. 10am. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com MORT LUBY - Tue. Mar 22. Mort Luby paints in oil and watercolor. The scope of his work encompasses everything from life drawings to huge oil paintings of historical scenes. 1pm. Maui Hands Paia, (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; Mauihands.com LUANA KAMA - Tue. Mar 22. Luna finds it fascinating to see the pigments and water flow on paper, her favorite subjects to paint are people and flowers. 4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front

Sundaze Sessions w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm

MON-Movies Games Music 10pm, TUE- Tequila Tuesdays/ Dance Music,10pm, WED-Wine Down,10pm

Frisky Friday w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

WED- Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm $10 cover

St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, MARCH 17 DONUTS 2 GO WITH THE FRIENDS OF JOE BLACKBURN - Thu. Mar 17. Nathan Nunuha and the Friends of Joe Blackburn will be giving away free donuts, until they run out. Free. 8am.

Corner of Vineyard and Market Streets, (104 N. Market St., Wailuku).

CAMP KALUANUI SPRING BREAK - Thu. Mar 17. Offering a diverse, visual arts curriculum geared to stretching minds, exercising imaginations, keeping the body active and introducing new ideas. Campers will paint, build, design, dance, sing and play their way through a variety of artistic activities each day. Tuition: $225 Members, $282 Non-Members + $35 Supply Fee. Single Day: $85 Members, $107 Non-Members + $7 Supply Fee. 8am. Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com TURTLE-RRIFIC THURSDAY - Thu. Mar 17. Get face-to-face with Hawaiian green sea turtles. The Aquarium’s curatorial team will host an interactive presentation at Hammerhead Harbor. Guests will learn about the green sea turtles’ biology, behavior, and diet from the team that cares for the animals on a daily basis. 2pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com HALAU HULA KAULUOKALA KUMU ULUWEHI GUERRERO HULA CLASSES - Thu. Mar 17.

Halau Hula Kauluokala, under the direction of Kumu Uluwehi Guerrero, is opening classes for adults who cannot make a full halau commitment but still want to have hula in their lives. No fundraising, performance or protocol commitments. Must have knowledge of the hula basics–these are not beginner classes. $30. 5pm. Maui Art and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org MAUI GO CLUB - Thu. Mar 17. The Maui Go Club is a social group with members who like to play

the game Go. They meet once a week, alternating weeks between Kono’s in Kihei on Thursdays and The Tea Box in Kahului on Saturdays. For a complete listing of the club’s schedule go online.

Free. 5pm. Kono’s on the green, (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Maui-go-club.tumblr.com

FRIDAY, MARCH 18 FRIDAY MORNING YIN YOGA WITH SOOKIE KUNST - Fri. Mar 18. Bring a yoga or exercise mat and two firm beach towels for props. Suggested donation is $12 per class. Free for Pacific Cancer Foundation clients. 8am. Waipulani Park, (Waipulani Park, Kihei).

HAWAIIAN ISLANDS HUMPBACK WHALE NATIONAL MARINE SANCTUARY WHALE TALK - Fri. Join their knowledgeable staff and volunteers as they present informative facts about humpback whales. 11am. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, (726 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-2818; Hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov COCONUT WEAVING - Fri. Join Bolly Helekahi for the 2015 Hana No‘eau cultural demonstration series. Bring your family and friends and learn the ancient art of Hawaiian coconut weaving. Free.

1pm. Kipahulu District of Haleakala National Park, (Kula); 808-572-4400; Nps.gov/hale KEIKI HULA PERFORMANCE - Fri. Mar 18.

Come by to witness a true array of talents by our island’s keiki in their native hawaiian hula performance. 5pm. The Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8277; Theoutletsofmaui.com SLEEP WITH THE SHARKS - Fri. Mar 18. Roll out your sleeping bags next to the Open Ocean exhibit or the mesmerizing Sea Jellies cylinder at Maui Ocean Center’s next family sleepover. Sleep with the Sharks offers guests the unique opportunity to explore the Aquarium after dark, engage in marine-themed activities and see the animals’ nocturnal behaviors. For ages 6-13 with accompany adult. Includes marine naturalist guided activities, movie time snacks, continental breakfast, a souvenir decal, and all day admission to the Aquarium the next day. $75. 7pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com

MARCH 17, 2016 23

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT DJ KURT MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

THURSDAY MARCH 17TH PUEO PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

A ST. PATRICK’S NIGHT DANCE PARTY

LET’S GET LUCKY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

MUSIC STARTS AT 9:45PM $10 COVER

DJS TRVR & SNWLPRD & LOBSTAH BAGPIPES BY ROGER MCKINLEY

VISUALS BY PROFESSOR LIGHTWAV — FACE PAINTINING BY RACHEL DEBOER

FRIDAY MARCH 18TH

THE OFFICIAL PARTY AFTER THIRD FRIDAY PARTY IN MAKAWAO

ROOTZ N CREATION TEOMON — SHORE — KOKOMON RAMBO OF JUDAH SOUND SYSTEM

SATURDAY MARCH 19TH

SICNICKLES DJ SWEET BEETS

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30 PM $10 COVER

SHOW STARTS AT 10 PM $10 COVER

FUNKY GROOVES, ROCK N ROLL & BLUES

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS | 808.572.0220 | CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24 MARCH 17, 2016

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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3/18

3/19

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3/21-3/23

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Rick Glencross

Guest Performers

Guest Performers

Robbie Ray Jazz

MON, TUE & WED- Soundlab

Natalie Nicole

John Ness

Damaged Goods

Brant Quick Beer Pong

MON-John Ness, TUE- John Grover, WED-John Ness

Ma’a, 6:30pm

Casey Turner, 8pm

Ma’a, 6:30pm

JD& Harry 3-5pm, Benny & Rock, 6-8pm

MON-Benny & Rock, 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR 843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

Leprechaun Costume Contest & St. Paddy’s Party!

Spring Break Rager w/ DJ Brandon Kent, 10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TBA

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

PARADISE GRILL

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:308:30pm)

St. Paddy’s Celebration w/ Celtic Tigers, Willie K & Glenn Innes Band, 11am-midnite

Soul Kitchen Yelp Party!

7-9pm

Blue Hawaii Show w/ Darren Lee, 5pm

Celtic Tigers, 7-9:30pm

MON-Joyce & Gord, TUE- Brenton Keith & his Bag O’ Tricks, WED- Joel Katz 5:15pm/ Willie K Dinner Show, 6:30pm

St. Patricks Day Dance Party!

Salsa Dancing w/Rafael, 10pm (upstairs), DJ Illz 10pm (downstairs)

DJ Kai, 10pm

Juke Box, 10pm

MON-Juke Box, 10pm, TUE- Raise The Roof w/ DJ Matt, WED-Reggae w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm

GO GREEN - Sat. Mar 19. Comprehensive recycling every third Saturday. Call or go online for the list of accepted items. 8am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-877-2524; MalamaMauiNui.org

FREE HULA SHOW - Sun. Mar 20. A completely free of charge hula show, occurring just for you.

Free. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com

MALAMA MAUI NUI 2016 ‘GREAT AMERICAN CLEANUP’ - Sat. Mar 19 - Sat. Apr 30. The Great American Cleanup is the country’s largest community improvement program that engages more than four million volunteers and participants across the nation to take action in their local communities to create positive change and lasting impact on their environment.

9am. Maliko Gulch, (Hana Highway, Haiku).

VOLUNTEER: MALAMA HONOKOWAI - Sat. Volunteer with Malama Honokowai and visit the beautiful and hidden Honokowai Valley, an area closed to the public. 9am. North Sugar Cane Train Station, (Pu‘ukoli Road, Ka‘anapali); 808-2498811; Volunteersonvacation.org LEARN TO SWIM CLASS REGISTRATION - Sat. Mar 19. The County of Maui Department of Parks and Recreation, Aquatics Division, announced that registration for the county’s popular “Learn to Swim” sessions will be held for Kihei and Upcountry classes that begin in April. Registration at the Kihei Aquatic Center. Parents must register in-person for the sessions. Classes are limited, and registration is taken on a first-come, first-served basis. 9am. Kihei Aquatic Center, (303 E. Lipoa St,, Kihei); 808-270-6138; Worldwideaquathonday.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 20 WHALE PHOTO SAFARI - Sun. Mar 20 & Wed. Mar 23. Join us on this whale photography workshop at sea. Whether you are a novice or an experienced photographer, this unique hands-on adventure will help you learn and practice expert techniques for photographing whales and other wildlife. Safari includes free whale poster and collection of digital images taken by our photographers. 8:15am. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf

MON-Service Industry Night 5pm-close, WED- Open Mic,10pm-close

Live Music, 6-9pm

Street, Lahaina). 808-249-8811; PacificWhale.org

YOGA FOR EVERY BODY - Sat & Wed. Enjoy a free, open to the public yoga class in Kihei with certified yoga instructor Gylian Solay. Free. 8am. Gylian Solay, (Waipuilani Park, Kihei); 808-344-8068; Gyliansolay.com

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 6-9pm, no cover

Live Music, 6-9pm

SATURDAY, MARCH 19

HAWAII JUNIOR GOLF DAY - Sat. Mar 19. Join us for a fun and free introductory golf experience for juniors of any age. Register online. 8:30am.

Wailea Gold and Emerald Golf Courses, (100 Wailea Ike Dr, Kihei); 808-879-2530; Hsjga.org

MON-Trivia w/ Niki Guy, 7pm, TUE-Live Music w/ Alex Calma Band, 10pm

READ ALOUD AMERICA - Sun. Mar 20. Story time with Aunty Joanne. All children present will receive a healthy snack and new book to take home.

2pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com FREE ZUMBA - Sun. At Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit Studio! 9am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com

MONDAY, MARCH 21 KAMP KRAZY TALES - Mon. Mar 21 - Fri. Mar 25. The Drama Queen (Kristi Scott) and Keyboard Kim (Kim Vetterli), are teaming up again to present a drama/music Kamp this Spring for the keiki of Kihei and beyond ages 5-12. Young students will learn fun drama games and music techniques, and the Kamp will culminate with a short performance for parents.

Extended care available (if they enroll five or more) from 12-2pm ($75). Pre-registration is required. $150. 9am. ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; Proartspacific.com CULTURAL CONNECTION MONDAY - Mon. Mar 21. Featuring entertainment by E’o Maui Hula performance, with ‘Aumakua Polynesian Crafting and a Hawai’i History Moment at the Hawai’i History Museum. 9am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com STORY OF HAWAII - Mon. Watch Bryant Neal as he combines history, geography and cartography of the Hawaiian Islands to create an educational and entertaining experience. 10am.

Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808662-6600; Montagehotels.com HULA SHOW BY TE TIARE PATITIFA - Mon. Enjoy a true Hawaiian hula show with Te Tiara Patitifa. 10:30am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 22 TALK STORY AND HULA LESSONS WITH KAHU DANE MAXWELL AND ‘OHANA - Tue. Visitors will have an extraordinary opportunity to

hear from the Aquarium’s Hawaiian Cultural Advisor Kahu Dane Maxwell and ‘Ohana as they conduct a talk story session and hula lesson at the end of the Open Ocean Exhibit. Schedule is subject to change.

11:45am. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com FREE UKULELE LESSONS - Tue. Free ukulele lessons, because it’s never too late to learn how to play the ukulele. Free. 5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com MOKU’ULA BY MOONLIGHT SPRING - Tue. Mar 22. Presented by Friends of Moku‘ula, Hawaiian mele, mo‘olelo and mana‘o mix when popular musicians share the stage with Maui elders who tell their stories about Lahaina. 6pm. Hale Halawai, (525 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-3659; Mokuula.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23 SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - Wed. You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Road bikes recommended. Free.

6:55am. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; Southmauibicycles.com UKULELE MIX PLATE - Wed. With more than 20 years in the business, Mele Ukulele has developed great relationships with Maui’s best ukulele teachers. 6pm. The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION: O‘O FARM - Wed. Work on an exquisite organic farm in the misting forest of Waipoli in Kula. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a light jacket that you do not mind getting a little dirty, plus water and sunscreen. Gloves and gardening tools provided.

Please call 24 hours in advance to sign up. Free.

8:45am. O‘o Farms, (651 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-249-8811; Oofarm.com

LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S - Thu, Jonny Ringo 2-5pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 2-5pm; Mon, Will Hartzag 2-5pm; Tue, Jonny Ringo 2-5pm; Wed, Tori Dixon Band 2-5pm; (672 Front St., Lahiana); 808-667-0988; Captainjacksmaui.com

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Fri, Joe Benedett and Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; Sat, Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Sun, Brooks Maguire 4:3010:30pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-10:30pm; Tue, Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Wed, Joe Benedett and Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com CHEESEBURGER ISLAND STYLE - Thu, Mark Burnett 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brooks Maguire 5:308:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8990.

COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 7:3010pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com DOWN THE HATCH - Fri, Uncle Lou 5-7pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Peter D and Garrett Probst (Ukulele Boys) 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Sun, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Mon, Danyel Alana 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Tue, Roy Kato and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Wed, Puhi Ko 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; dukesmaui.com FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, I-Drive 7-9:30pm; Sat, I-Drive 7-9:30pm; Sun, Paul Marchetti Band 7-9:30pm; Mon, Houseshakers 7-9:30pm; Tue, Kanekoa 7-9:30pm; Wed, Cole Sulenta 7-9:30pm; (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808669-6425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com HARD ROCK CAFE - Sun, Evan Shulman 8-11pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com HULA GRILL - Thu, Kealii Lum and Naiwi Teruya 2-5pm; Thu, Derick Sebastian and Damon Parillo 6-9pm; Fri, Derick Sebastian 11am-1pm; Fri, Maa and Aloha Friday Hula Show 2-5pm; Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Sun, Ma’a 2-5pm; Mon, Ma’a 2-5pm; Mon, Kulewa 6-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6-9pm; Wed, Danyel Alana 2-5pm; (2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Bldg. P1, Lahaina); 808-667-6636; hulagrillkaanapali.com

MARCH 17, 2016 25

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PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR 928 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4084

St. Paddy’s Day Party!

MAUIANO’S 900 Front St, Lahaina, 667-0791

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku - 243-9351

JAPENGO - Thu, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Elaine Ryan 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Sat, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Sun, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukaua 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Josh Sumibcay 5:30-7:30pm; Wed, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com JAVA JAZZ AND SOUP NUTZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Guest Band and Dancing 7-10pm; Sat, Guest Band and Dancing 7-10pm; Sun, Robbie Ray 7-10pm; Mon, The Soundlab 7-10pm; Tue, Paul Bunuan and Nino Toscano 7-10pm; Wed, Paul Bunuan and Nino Toscano 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Lahaina); 808-667-0787; Javajazz.net KIMO’S - Thu, Maa 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Casey Turner 8-10pm; Sat, Maa 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, JD and Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Mon, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Tue, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:30-9:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-6610700; Lahainapizzacompany.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret and Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD and Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret and Josh 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Thu, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl 5-7pm; Sat, Steve Grimes and Gang 5-7pm; Sun, Jazz with “Two Cats” Brian Como, Mike and Friends 5-7pm; Mon, Casey Turner 5-7pm; Tue, Tori Dixon and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; Wed, Casey Turner 5-7pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB AND GRILL Thu, Far West 6-9pm; Fri, Codae Music 6-9pm; Sat, David Kaye 6-9pm; Mon, Nestor Ugale 6-9pm; (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808661-0808; Luluslahaina.com MAUIANO’S ITALIAN GRILLE - Fri, Nestor Ugale 6-8pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-6670791; Mauianos.com MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm;

Jukebox Jangles, Free Pool

Jukebox Jangles, Free Pool

Jukebox Jangles, Free Pool

Garrett Probst 10pm

DJ Lobstah 10pm

Welo & Kekai 10:30am-1:30pm

MON-Free Bingo 7pm, TUE-Taco Tuesday, WED- Playtime w/ Miss Kalai & DJ Stylz 9pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

St. Patricks Day Party!

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ LX 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4-6pm, Sunday Night Lounge 10pm

MON - Kanoa 4pm & DJ Big Mike SIN 10pm, TUE - Jon Bowser 4-6pm, WED- Ladies Night Out DJ LX & JayP

St. Patricks Day Party w/ Corned Beef Dinner

Natalie Nicole Band, 8:30pm

Homestead, 9pm

Free Pool

MON-Martini Monday, TUE- Free Pool, WED- Whiskey Wednesday w/ Karaoke 8pm

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Maui Blues & Co., $4 cover

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; $4 cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Louise Lambert Trio, 7:30-10:30pm

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

DJ Wox, 10pm

Ladies Night, 10pm

City & Country Band, 10pm

Free Karaoke

TUE- Free Karaoke, WED- Dinner Music 6-8pm

TUE- Power Up Comedy Tour 9pm, WEDPiano w Katya

Mon, David Wolfberg 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com/kapalua

DOG AND DUCK IRISH PUB - Thu, Pub Quiz 7-9:30pm; Sun, Live Music 6-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669; Theworldfamousdogandduck.com

PITA PARADISE - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 6:309pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com

OCEAN POOL BAR AND GRILL - Fri, Live Music 4-7pm; Mon, Live Music 4-7pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com

GANNON’S - Thu, Classic Rock Live 5-7pm; Fri, Jazz Fridays 5-7pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com

OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Fri, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sat, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sun, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Mon, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Tue, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Wed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-667-1337.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Tue, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Wed, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010; Mauibars.com

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Steve Mantelli 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com

PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Mon, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Tue, Damien Awai 5-8pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-6673200; Westinkaanapali.com PAU HUAKA‘I TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com PIONEER INN GRILL AND BAR - Thu, Greg di Piazza and Alana Cini 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-3636; Pioneerinnmaui.com SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Thu, Kincaid Kupahu 8am-5pm; Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 8am-5pm; Sat, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; Sun, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Tue, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com THE CLIFF DIVE GRILL - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:30-8pm; Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Sat, Larry Golis and Hollis Lee 6:30am-8:30pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Tue, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Wed, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com WHALERS VILLAGE - Thu, The Benoits 7-8pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-6614567; Whalersvillage.com

SOUTH MAUI CAPISCHE - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808-879-2224; Capische.com DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-6pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299; Diamondsicebar.com

KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Fri, Music by Sierra and Sal 5:30-7:30pm; Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 5:307:30pm; Tue, Live Music 5-8pm; Tue, Easy Listening with Neto 5:30-7:30pm; Wed, Acoustic Classical Guitar with Jim Spektor 5:30-7:30pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com MAUI BREWING COMPANY KIHEI - Thu, Levi Poasa 8am-5pm; Thu, Yum Yum and Sweet Beets 5-8pm; Fri, Louis and Lewis 4-7pm; Sun, Grippy Tannins 5-8pm; Mon, Johnny Ringo 5-8pm; Wed, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; (605 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-213-3002; Mauibrewingco.com MOLOKINI BAR AND GRILLE MAKENA RESORT - Thu, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Fri, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sat, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sun, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Mon, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Tue, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Wed, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Dat Guyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Thu, Mike Finkiewicz and Craig Soderberg 7-9pm; Fri, Stay Easy 1-3pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Nako’oka 7-9pm; Sat, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Mon, Kanoa and Ryan 1-3pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Joshua Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Louis and Lewis 1-3pm; Tue, Stay Eazy 4-6pm; Tue, Stay Easy 4-6pm; Tue, Duane Feig 7-9pm; Wed, Andrew Corradini 1-3pm; Wed, An Den Duo Damien Awai and Brian Haia 1-3pm; Wed, Alika Nako’oka 4-6pm; Wed, Alika Nako’oka 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret Roback 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, St. Paddy’s Day Celebration 11am-10pm; Fri, Soul Kitchen Band 7-9pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 7-9pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:15-6:30pm; Wed, Willie K 6:30-8:30pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com

THREE’S BAR AND GRILL - Sat, Live Solo Guitar With Cpt. Dan Saunders 5:30-9pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; Threesbarandgrill.com

CENTRAL MAUI BEACH BUMS BBQ AND GRILL - Thu, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Mike Finkiewicz and Tom Cherry 5-8pm; Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Sun, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Mon, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Thu, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Sat, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Sun, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Tue, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Wed, Local Live Music 5-8pm; (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Alehouse.net KING KAMEHAMEHA GOLF CLUB - Thu, The Legendary Willie K And The Warehouse Blues Band 6:30-10pm; Mon, Martini and Jazz 6:309:30pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com WATERCRESS SB - Fri, Pauhana 6-9pm; Sun, Karaoke 8pm-2am; Mon, Karaoke 8pm-2am; Tue, Karaoke 8pm-2am; Wed, Live Entertainment 6-8pm; (270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Wailuku); 808243-9351; Facebook.com/watercress.sb WHOLE FOODS MARKET - Fri, Aloha Friday Music 11:30am-2:30pm; (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone and Lenny Castellanos 6:308:30pm; Mon, Charleys Live Band Open Mic and Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ryan Robinson 6:30-8:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com MAUI YOGA SHALA PAIA - Fri, Kirtan and Mantra Meditation 7-9pm; Wed, Indian Music and Dance 6:30-8:30pm; (381 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-283-4123; Maui-yoga.com

MARCH 17, 2016 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Your dreams and intuition are rife with truth and delusion. Trying to figure out when they’re insightful and when they’re full of shit can be tricky. This week, however, it ought to be astonishingly simple, because there’s no reason not to simply ask those your gut feelings concern. No one will look at your funny, or be offended, or freak out. Most will be appreciative, especially because once you know what’s really up, you’ll zlso know exactly what you’re supposed to do. A directed Pisces is an inspiring thing; everyone wants a piece of that action. Believe me, answering an odd or embarrassing question is a price anyone would pay to kick you into high gear.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Don’t be a rebel this week. You’ll just get squashed.

Please, we need your powerful resistance to authority–that’s why choosing when you’ll oppose it and when you’ll abide by it is crucial. This week, some petty little bureaucrat’s likely to try to thwart you. You know you could knock this loser on their ass, but I’d advise you not to, galling as it may be to simply heed their tiny, ridiculous tyranny. Why? This petty authoritarian is just an unimaginative, buzzing little bee, easily swatted. But guess what? Anger them and the second they get a chance, they’ll fetch the entire hive, and you’ll, quite simply, be screwed.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Beware of binging. Your abundance of restless energy is usually an asset, but only because you’re generally so good at directing it towards constructive endeavors. But when your willpower flags or you get distracted, as is likely this week, you might find yourself exhibiting some nasty compulsive behavior that could leave you feeling pretty bloated and shitty for days or weeks. Please forget being as productive as usual this week. Concentrate instead on keeping what you do get up to in the realm of low-impact.

For example, too much bad daytime TV is easier to recover from than too much cocaine.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: E–11 2: B– -$16.7 million 3: D–4.3 percent

YOGA & MOVEMENT STUDIO

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Be wary of self-belief. Confidence is good, but remember, you live in the realm of the possible. Don’t be tempted by the land of delusion just beyond its borders. Those boundaries are murky at best, partly because you’re so damn capable: you’ve already proven that things other people believe impossible are well within your reach. However, that self-assurance can only take you so far: I’ve never met anyone who could fly just because they believed they could with all their heart. You’re still subject to laws and limitations–just not that many of them. Recognize and acknowledge where and what those unbreakable rules are this week. Start with basic physics and explore from there.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Romance is in the air this week. Sure, it’s mostly of the cliché variety: long walks on the beach, gorgeous sunsets, red wine picnics, that sort of thing.

But so what? Part of you loves that shit, admit it. Go ahead and indulge yourself–even if you’re by yourself. It’s what right, for the moment: taking simple pleasure in your existence. It doesn’t have to be outrageously original–what is, anyway? Just enjoy the sweet moments available to you right now–with whomever is able to revel in them with you, or alone, if no one’s nearby who’d get it.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Come out of there, already. While it’s not totally out of character for you to imitate your namesake and crawl under a rock, this isn’t the ideal time to do it.

Yeah, you’re not at your best. You could use some restoration. But you’ve got to be alert to the rhythms of what’s going on around you. Now is when potential prey (not necessarily food—it could be an opportunity, a lay, or just a beautiful moment waiting to be seized) is out and about. If you take this time to withdraw and nap, there won’t be anything or anyone left when you come out to play. Have fun now. Rest later.

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GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Focus on action, not dialogue. Words will just mess you up. Avoid them, please, as much as humanly possible. If you could go the whole week without uttering a single syllable, that’d be ideal. Chatting, gossip, monologuing: all currently taboo activities. But your silver tongue still needs exercise, so have it wrestle another, instead of wrapping itself around complex ideas. That’s right. My advice this week: say it with a kiss. Don’t stop there, either. Be as physical as you dare. The more you stay in your body and out of your head, the happier, healthier, and hotter you’ll be.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Heal the rift. You know what I’m talking about: the crack that’s fractured your most important relationship(s). You have the power this week to patch it up, but you have to find it and explore exactly how wide and deep it is before you can do a proper repair job. You also need to accept that things will never be as they once were. The damage has been done. But even though it’s not in your power to hide the fracture completely, you’re perfectly capable of another minor miracle: making the whole, while less “flawless,” innately stronger and more crack resistant than before.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

You’re surrounded by fakes. I don’t want to make you paranoid; believe me, you attract your fair share of genuinely sincere people as well. But this week it’s both tricky and crucial to figure out which is which. Suspect flattery. No matter how much you may deserve the compliments, they’re almost certainly fueled by some ulterior motive. Charm is a tool, and it can be quite effective when it comes to manipulating you, when you’re not on your guard. I don’t want to make you immune to the goodwill of others, however, so don’t let this week’s necessities become next week’s bad habits. Just turn up the scrutiny temporarily. Later, go back to taking people’s words at face value–life’s better that way.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Go the extra mile. I mean this quite literally. Taking that next, unlooked-for step or making that surprising additional bit of effort will almost definitely pay off this week. Make the meeting in person instead of over the phone, even if it’s inconvenient for you. Bend over backwards. Do what’s necessary to demonstrate your level of commitment and motivation. You’re the best person for the job, but that may not be particularly obvious at first glance. A demonstration is in order.

You’re capable of blowing your competition out of the water when you’re on top of your game. It’s either first place or no place; you know what you’ve got to do.

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Concentrate on just having fun. Next week’s events may have you feeling frazzled. There’s plenty of pressure to make a fresh start, and next week’s the best time to put your Clean Slate Plan into action. But don’t stress out or worry! That’s the worst thing you could do. How do you expect your new beginning to work when its genesis is anxiety? Whether it’s a relationship, long-term project, or attitude that you want to reset, it would benefit the most from just one thing: you having fun. Choose the new path that will make you laugh. The rest will fall, quite naturally, into place.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Your head’s spinning so fast someone might call in an exorcist. Just don’t start penetrating yourself with a cross or vomiting pea soup, because for someone to put a stop to all this excitement–out of worry that it’s bad for you–would be a damn shame. This is good shit you’ve got going on right now. You’re probably a bit too shell-shocked to really realize that.

But once things have settled down slightly, you’ll look back on this week and notice that you got more than your fair share of lucky breaks. For now, just ride the insanity and trust me: You’re having a blast.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MARCH 17, 2016 29

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