19.44 Our Irregular Guide To Maui's Public Restrooms, April 14, 2016, Volume 19, Issue 44, MauiTime

April 14, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 44 ✚ FREE

OUR IRREGULAR GUIDE TO

MAUI’S PUBLIC RESTROOMS

MAUI'S FARMING FUTURE

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Contents VOLUME 19 ✚ ISSUE 44

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

ON THE COVER:

Where’s your favorite restroom on Maui (not counting your own home)?

April 14, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 44 ✚ FREE

OUR IRREGULAR GUIDE TO

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Maui Brewing Co.

Our Irregular Guide To Maui’s Public Restrooms Cover Design By: Darris Hurst

MAUI’S PUBLIC RESTROOMS

Happy Earth Day! Safe & Secure PIN Coded Entry 24 Hour Surveillance Various Sizes Available Lots of Parking

Advertising Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 283-3260 / sarah@mauitime.com Alii Nui Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com The Dookie Factory Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter Mirror Mosaic By Cove Park Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Andaz Maui Resort Contributors: Jenn Brown, Caeriel Crestin, Max Errickson, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shan@mauitime.com Aina Nalu Proofreader: Dina Wilson

MAUI'S FARMING FUTURE

4 10 12 15 19 20 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.55 PG

SAY GOODBYE TO

MIGRANT

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HARDCORE

HENRY MISSES

PG.20 PG 20

VOTE ONLINE NOW VOT

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

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Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter The Andaz Maui Resort

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING BEST OF MAUI BALLOT THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2015 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $110 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

QUIZ understood

Dr. Erin Elster, D.C. • • • • •

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A. Dr. John Fisher, scientific director of Keystone Laboratories B. David Bess, UH Manoa professor C. James Duffy, retired Hawaii Supreme Court Justice D. Phyllis Shimabukuro-Geiser, deputy to the chairperson of the Hawaii Board of Agriculture E. Keith Ridley, Chief of the Office of Health Care Assurance

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1. Recently, the Hawaii state Senate passed a resolution urging the federal government to set minimum size standards for airline seats. Which legislator from Hawaii then helped introduce a federal resolution calling for new federal standards for airline seats?

A. Senator Mazie Hirono B. Senator Brian Schatz C. Congressional Rep. Mark Takai D. Congressional Rep. Tulsi Gabbard E. None of the above

3. On Apr. 11, The Maui News reported that a sculpture of a robot named “Murphy” won this year’s Art of Trash exhibit at the Maui Mall. According to the paper, what is the name of the artist?

A. Bobby B. Mark C. Bill D. John E. Tommy

See answers, page 29

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless Youngblood asked DeLeon. DeLeon humored him and said sure. “Here it is,” Youngblood said, holding out his pencil.

“This is my press credential.”

He was right, too.

PHOTO BY DARRIS HURST

NIGHT AT THE (PEARL HARBOR) MUSEUM

What will the future hold?

NEW MAUI TOMORROW REPORT ON ISLAND’S ‘FARMING FUTURE’

Former Maui News reporter Ron Youngblood has died at the age of 73, The Maui News reported on Apr. 6.Youngblood was something of a utility player at the News for 25 years–reporter, columnist, editorial writer, letters-to-theeditor editor, event reviewer and voice of the paper on Hawaii Public Radio. When Youngblood retired in 2009, the News reported that he “averaged writing about 320 editorials a year [and] edited the 4,000 or more letters to the editor the paper received annually”–a tremendous output for any journalist.

“We first worked together at The Maui Sun weekly in the early 1980s, pounding out copy on manual typewriters and trying to compete with the Big Brother Maui News with a 16-page weekly tabloid,” Dave DeLeon, government affairs director for the Realtors Association of Maui and former Maui News reporter, said in the News’ Apr. 6 story on Youngblood’s death. “He was the editor and I was the reporter. Ron was an excellent editor, and he helped me focus my writing.”

I used to read Youngblood’s weekly column, though he wrote about his motorcycle (“The Dancer”) more times than I can count. I only ran into Youngblood once, at some Chamber of Commerce thing a dozen years ago at the Four Seasons in Wailea. Then-Governor Linda Lingle was speaking, so I went to cover it. During a break I was chatting in the lobby with DeLeon. Soon Youngblood joined us.

“You want to see my press credential?”

PHOTO BY JOSE RODRIGUES / PICTURE THIS HAWAII

Maui Tomorrow has release a new report on how create more agricultural jobs while still providing effective and environmentally responsible stewardship of the land, states an Apr. 11 news release from the nonprofit organization. Titled Malama Aina: A conversation about Maui’s Farming Future, the 52page report from Permaculture Design International LLC bills itself as “the start of a community conversation” on the future of Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar (HC&S)’s 36,000 acres, which will cease growing sugar at the end of this year.

Though Alexander & Baldwin (A&B–the parent company of HC&S) has said they will transition over to “diversified agriculture” on at least some of their lands, the company has of yet released few details on what that might look like. This report seeks to get people thinking about what truly diversified ag would both require of and return to Maui.

Alika Atay, a part-Hawaiian farmer who combines permaculture with traditional farming practices (and who just announced that he’s running for Mike Victorino’s soonto-be-vacated Maui County Council seat), was one of the consultants on the report.

“As guardians of our island’s environment, we must remember our values,” said Atay in an Apr. 11 Maui Tomorrow news release. “This is an opportunity to go back to the values that Maui people were raised with. Malama ‘Aina, Aloha ‘Aina–this is how we were raised. We need to go back to the future! Hawaii used to be 100 percent self-sufficient, but now we import 90 percent of our food. This report marks the beginning of a return to those values.

“I want to thank A&B for the important role they have played in our local economy and for having created opportunity for generations of their employees,” Atay continued.

“Although the closure of the sugar plantation is a painful episode for many, we must embrace the future and open ourselves to this important opportunity to move with aloha for each other toward a sustainable, self-reliant, chemical-free agricultural future.”

You can read the new report by going to FutureOfMaui.org.

RON YOUNGBLOOD DIES

History nerds that we are, my girlfriend and I nearly always make a stop at Pearl Harbor whenever we head to Oahu for a mini-vacation.

The USS Arizona Memorial, USS Missouri, Pacific Aviation Museum, USS Bowfin–we’ve seen it all, in some cases repeatedly.

There’s just something compelling about touching the propellers of aircraft walking the decks of ships that saw action during World War II. So I know exactly what the couple dozen sixth and seventh grade students from Maunaloa Elementary School on Molokai and Lanai High and Elementary School felt when they recently got a unique opportunity to learn about science and math at those very same Pearl Harbor museums and ships that we’ve visited so often.

ates. “All travel, housing, food/beverage and curriculum expenses were paid for through a donation by Mrs. Barbara Cargill, which was secured by the Museum.”

The students learned a variety of scientific and engineering principles, such as Newton’s Third Law of Motion (“For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction”), how engineers study air flow over wings using wind tunnels, the use of aircraft control surfaces and Bernoulli’s Principle (pressure and density are inversely related on fluids in an ideal state). These students were also among the first to participate in the Pacific Aviation Museum’s new Wings to Rockets program, the news release stated.

“Wings To Rockets is a new program that combines the ‘best of the best,’” said Shauna Tonkin, Director of Education, Pacific Aviation Museum Pearl Harbor, in the news release. “We’ve taken some of the most popular aviation and STEM-related activities from our education programs and combined them to create a highly interactive curriculum where all elements of science, technology, engineering and math are presented in a format that

Best field trip ever

“Pacific Aviation Museum Pearl Harbor recently hosted 27 6th and 7th graders from Lanai High and Elementary School (20 students) and Maunaloa Elementary School (7 students), plus three accompanying teachers,” stated an Apr. 8 press release from Laurie LaGrange of Ontai-LaGrange and Associ-

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keeps students engaged. Also, by incorporating guided tours to our neighboring Pearl Harbor historic sites, they not only learn about the history of World War II, but they can see first hand the role that science and technology played during one of America’s most prolific periods of war. Being able to host students from Molokai and Lanai is an added bonus, thanks to the generosity and support we received from a private donor.”

As you’d probably expect, the kids seemed to enjoy their time at the Pearl Harbor museums.

“My favorite activities were flying an airplane (through the use of a simulator) at Pacific Aviation Museum and programming robots to go into a square on the USS Missouri,” said Maunaloa Elementary School sixth grader Divine Brown-Davis. “I was really surprised at how many new things I learned and I didn’t know all of these sites were here.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

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News & Views

by Suzanne Kayian

MauiSphere financial efficiency and increase revenue growth. This crucial assistance to success in the commercial marketplace eventually creates local jobs.”

TWO MAUI SCHOOL OFFICIALS FINALISTS FOR EXCELLENCE IN SCHOOL LEADERSHIP AWARD

PHOTO COURTESY B RAW BAR / GOOGLE+

Two Maui school principals were named finalists in the $25,000 Masayuki Tokioka Excellence in School Leadership Award. Principals Chris Bachaus of Kula Elementary in Kula and Steve Franz of King Kamehameha III Elementary in Lahaina are both finalists in the Island Insurance Foundation 2016 School Leadership Award. Twelve public school principals from across the state are finalists for the award, which recognizes

ably changed. The school has seen a dramatic reduction in student absenteeism from 36 percent to 13 percent.

Franz has been an educator at King Kamehameha III Elementary School in Lahaina for 20 years, and has served seven years as principal of the school. Upon becoming principal, Franz hired a Curriculum Coordinator to focus on curriculum improvements and instructional practices, and expanded the school’s teaching staff to include art, music, physical education and drama teachers. He then developed an Instructional Leadership Team (ILT), comprised of a teacher representative from each grade level and department. These practices have greatly impacted students’ success and given Franz and his teachers the time to collaborate, share in the responsibility of creating academic plans and discuss new initiatives.

Dawn Anderson

THREE MAUI FOOD ENTREPRENEURS WIN $5,000 AWARDS Three Maui food entrepreneurs recently won $5,000 in awards from an “investor pitch” graduation competition through the Maui Accelerator program of the Maui Food Innovation Center at the University of Hawaii Maui College. In order to qualify for the competition, 12 Maui-based food and farm businesses had to complete a rigorous eight week program that culminated in a “pitch” presentation to a panel of judges and community representatives.

First place winner Dawn Anderson took the honor with a pitch for her 100 percent natural B Raw Bar energy bar.

Anderson began experimenting in her own kitchen to handcraft a raw energy bar with the purest ingredients based on powerful nutrition and taste. The result is a superfood bar that’s free from gluten, dairy, soy, peanuts and corn. Anderson’s B Raw Bars are handmade in Kahului, come in five flavors and can be found at more than 24 locations throughout Maui and Oahu including Whole Foods and Down to Earth.

Second place went to Waii Foods’ Cultured Macadamia Hummus. Waii Foods uses locally sourced ingredients including Waihe‘e Valley macadamia nuts–the key ingredient in their Cultured Macadamia Hummus, dubbed “love in a tub” according to co-owner, Michelle Valentin.

The hummus can be found at Alive and Well and you can find Valentine doling out

samples of their expanding line of flavors at the Upcountry Farmer’s Market in Kula each Saturday from 7-10:30am.

Third place winner “Maui Cookie Lady” Mitzi Toro started her journey developing uniquely flavored cookies as a fundraiser in her kitchen. For the last three years, Mitzi has been selling her cookies throughout Hawaii. The training and support programs have enabled her company to grow from a part-time passion to an enterprise employing several employees enabling Mitzi to manage strategy and operations full-time. These cookies use local mango, lilikoi, coconut, roasted macadamia nuts, guava, raw Maui sugar, Kona coffee and Hawaiian sea salt from the island of Molokai. She also uses Sammy Hagar’s Maui Distilled Macadamia Nut Rum, Paniolo Brown Sugar Whiskey, Maui Brewing Company Coconut Porter and Lahainatown Brown Ale. “Supporting and investing in Maui’s talented entrepreneurs is an effective way to help develop the local economy,” says Wayne Wong, Maui Center Director of the Hawaii Small Business Development Center Network. “The Food Innovation Center and this Maui Accelerator Program are exciting in providing hard-tofind expertise and resource development in the food producer sector. It is my pleasure to participate as a community resource partner to provide emerging entrepreneurs with the business tools and frameworks necessary to improve productivity, gain

PHOTO COURTESY ISLAND INSURANCE FOUNDATION

outstanding school principals and their efforts to provide high-quality learning opportunities for their students.

One Hawaii public school principal will receive $25,000, which is broken up into two payments: a $10,000 personal cash award and $15,000 toward a school project of their choice. The recipient of this year’s award will be announced at the Public Schools of Hawaii Foundation dinner on April 21, 2016 in Honolulu; the award, which is named after Island Insurance founder Masayuki Tokioka, is underwritten by the Island Insurance Foundation, the philanthropic arm of Island Insurance Companies.

Bachaus has been principal of Kula Elementary for three years. When Bachaus became principal, the school adopted its mission of “The Kula Way–Working Together to Build a Culture of Mutual Respect and Shared Responsibility” in student learning. By putting the needs of the children first and refocusing the school to that of an environment conducive to learning and not of social status, student behavior as well as attendance has notice-

Who's who in the above photo– Front (left to right): Mahina Anguay, Waimea High; Michelle Payne-Arakaki, Pahoa Elementary; Christine Gardner, Kahala Elementary; Jan Iwase, Hale Kula Elementary; Alma Souki, Heeia Elementary.

Back row (left to right): Tyler Tokioka– Island Insurance Foundation President; Heidi Tsuneyoshi, office of Councilmember Ernie Martin; Representative Takashi Ohno; Chris Bachaus, Kula Elementary; Jamie Dela Cruz, Kaelepulu Elementary; Steve Franz, King Kamehameha III Elementary; Representative Angus McKelvey; Lenn Uyeda, Maemae Elementary; Michael Nakasato, Pearl City Highlands Elementary; Bruce Naguwa, Kapolei Middle School; DOE Superintendent Kathryn Matayoshi; Councilmember Trevor Ozawa; Senator Susan Chun Oakland; Representative Bertrand Kobayashi. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

APRIL 14, 2016

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News & Views

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CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE Police, finally armed with a warrant after months of neighbors’ complaints about loud music, raided Michael Baker’s small one-bedroom apartment in Croydon, England, in March and confiscated 34 loudspeakers that allegedly Baker had been using at high volume at “all hours.”

After entering the home with the aid of a locksmith, police left Baker with only a CD player and a pair of earphones.

NEW WORLD ORDER

The Canadian supermarket chain Sobeys has recently been selling pre-cut avocado halves, sealed in plastic packages. Said a spokesman, the product “eliminates the guesswork... if you are not familiar with peeling and seeding a fresh avocado.” Also, recently, Whole Foods began selling peeled mandarin oranges, sealed in “recyclable” plastic, at $5.99 a pound (but withdrew the product in March, with an apology and promise to sell the oranges only in their “natural packaging: the peel”).

THE MOST FLORIDA STORY

BRIGHT IDEAS

State officials have notified retired pro wrestler Mary Thorn of Lakeland that, according to the law, her pet alligator (“Rambo”), age 15, having grown to 6 feet in length, may no longer be kept at home unless she provides at least 2 1/2 acres of roaming space. She made a public plea in March, warning that confiscating Rambo would kill him, as he is super-sensitive to sunlight (having been raised inside her home) and must wear clothes and sunscreen when outside (though Thorn pointed out that he is “potty-trained” and wags his tail when needing to answer nature’s call). At press time, the investigation of Rambo was still ongoing.

Felicia Burl, 33, who crashed her car (killing her passenger) after running a red light, fled on foot and later tried to foil DNA evidence against her to avoid charges.

While in lockup, Burl, with a 29-conviction rap sheet, knew a mouth swab was upcoming and tried to contaminate it by–as police later learned–having two other women spit into her mouth just before the test. She was convicted anyway, and a court in Stamford, Connecticut, is expected to order a 10-year sentence at Burl’s next hearing.

David Presley (of Walton County, about 40 miles from Atlanta), 32, for some reason attempted to blow up his riding lawn mower in March–by placing three pounds of the chemical mixture Tannerite in it and then shooting the mower with a semiautomatic rifle. Although he was standing 30 yards away, shrapnel still hit him, severing his leg just below the knee.

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mile chase as she made her getaway on an ice floe on the Nechako River. When police caught up, she attempted to dispose of items she had stolen (even though still on the ice) by burning them in a small fire, but an officer and a police dog jumped in the water to subdue her.

In March, Foreign Policy magazine noted that someone had created a “hot male migrants” account on the photosharing application Instagram: “Someone is going through photos of migrants and refugees, saving ones of men thought of as hot.” (Many of the men, of course, have survived harrowing journeys and even lost friends and family members while fleeing Syria and other war-torn lands. Wrote one Instagram user, of a man who had turned her head, “He’s gorgeous. Am I going to hell for thinking that?”)

QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENTS

THE MOST GEORGIA STORY

8

by Chuck Shepard

THE MOST CANADA STORY Ms. Philicity Lafrenier, 25, was charged with several break-and-enter and theft crimes in March in Prince George, British Columbia, after leading police on a half-

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Massachusetts state troopers initially found a few drug items in a search of the vehicle of Carrie Tutsock, 24, at a traffic stop in March along Interstate 91 near Hatfield, Massachusetts, but Tutsock and her two companions proceeded to worsen the situation.

The troopers seemed satisfied with finding three drug pipes, a couple of syringes and several baggies of drugs, and began to write their report as a “possession” case, but en route to the state police barracks, a trooper said he overheard one suspect whisper to another, “I don’t think they found all the stuff in the car.” The police searched it again and this time found three digital scales with white residue, along with another 230 baggies of heroin, and the charges were upped to “intent to distribute.” ■

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fter hearing from a number of tourists about raspberry coconuts, and seeing some photos of suspiciously red coconuts, I decided to take a stroll down the beach in Lahaina to check them out myself. I found them quite easily because there were a couple of ladies looking and pointing up into the palm trees of your beachfront house. And there you were, telling stories about raspberry coconuts. You told these Hawaii first-timers that you inject the trees with raspberry syrup in order to make raspberry coconuts. The tale continued with descriptions of pink coconut meat and extra sweet flavors. But you didn’t fool me! I could see that you had painted the coconuts. They were the same red color as your steps! ■

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APRIL 14, 2016

9

OUR IRREGULAR GUIDE TO MAUI’S PUBLIC RESTROOMS

BY MAX MA AX ERRICKSON

H

ow often oftte do you go to the The calm majestic waves beach?? T beautiful grains of sand on the b while yyou enjoy the sun’s great warmth? warmt th Then, while you’re feelingg great, you suddenly need to go tto the bathroom. You’re running nearest one and when runni ing to the n ne you’re faced with the grim you gget et inside yyo bathroom with a toilet seat sight of a dirty b don’t you d on’t trust. Maui M public park bathrooms for this and it room ms have a reputation rep hasn’t much since our last island hasn’ ’t changed m restroom restro oom guide in 2013.

Though Th hough the cco county has steadily increased creassed the budget bud dg for the Department of Parks since 2013 Paarks and Recreation Reec (the department’s departmen nt operating budget for 2016 most of the bath6 is $15 million), mil rooms room ms throughout through ho Maui’s parks still don’t towels. d on’t have paper p I examined 24 restrooms, 23 public and one at a local shopping ccenter. All the bathrooms to suffer from the sseemed e same sa m problem: they either had d trash cans but no paper towels tow w or they had paper towels tow w and no trash cans.

Same Sam m thing with soap. Of course, many restrooms I cou u visited had none of that. vis si IIs it so difficult for the county to provide soap, toico ou lett paper, paper towels and a trash can in all public park ttr restrooms? as you’ll see in restrrooms? Apparently, App p nauseating detail, naus seating deta ai it still is.

Makena Mak ke Landing The T he bathroo bathrooms m here are very large with witth a bench, in case you’d like to have a chat chaat with a friend frie who is using the toilet. There’s Th here’s also a large changing area. The toilets toiletts automatically automaticca flush and there is toilet paper. paaper. So far, so s good, except that you can’t leave the bathroom with clean hands baat because becau use there was wa no soap when I visited.

And the the paper towel to ow dispenser was broken and lacked laacked paperr towels. It just hung there on the th he wall, a sad saad relic from a bygone era.

Ulua The Th he wooden sst stall walls were chipped and worn down. The floor was so wet that there was a sign warning t people that it was slippery p inside. inssi The ladies’ and mens’ rooms shared sharre a bad odor that made

10 APRIL 14, 2016

me think twice about going in. Toilet paper and soap were present and accounted, but paper towels were as rare as unicorns under a rainbow.

Kamaole I Nobody ever said improvement was impossible. In 2013, Kam 1’s restrooms lacked stall doors. After now, Kam 1 now has basic plywood stall doors (though with rusted locks). One toilet was filled with clumps of toilet paper. There was a trash for you to throw away your paper towels after washing, but there were no paper towels.

Kamaole II A long time ago, if you were at Kam 2 and you were taking a number 2 there was no way to stop someone from walking in on you. There were no stalls and/or doors. These days, there is a stall and a door, as well as toilet paper and soap. But someone forgot to put in paper towels and a trash can.

Kamaole III Kamaole III has always been the best of the three Kam bathrooms. It always offers privacy with stall doors, has soap and usually has clean toilet seats. That said, there were no paper towels. So it kind of made sense that there wasn’t a trash can either.

Thus it was no surprise to find the floor wet and trash on the floor.

go ahead and use it or try to hold it for however long it takes you to get home. My advice: try hold it. The facilities are fairly worn down and the only bathroom supplies were the sinks and TP. On top of that the floor was filthy, the toilet seats looked very dirty and there was no soap. Earth to the Parks Department: you cannot wash your hands without soap. Oh, and the trash on the floor was made of wet and used toilet paper, apparently discarded on the floor because there was no trash can.

Lahaina Harbor The harbor is in constant use during the day. However, the bathroom was not bustling with activity: it was soothing and serene. It had soap, hand dryers (!), mostly clean floors and even clean toilets.

With all the cruise ships tenders and tour boats that go in and out of the harbor, it was clear that extra effort was made to keep this one clean.

Mala Wharf This restroom had a large graffiti-covered wall on the side of the building. It’s a shame the artists didn’t head inside and do

Waiale Park After visiting so many restrooms that lacked paper towels, I was greeted by a totally new creation: a paper towel dispenser.

Unfortunately, there were no paper towels, nor was there soap. This bathroom is in disrepair, which is sad since it sits next to a neighborhood with lots of kids.

Wells Park Do you like your restrooms to come with really dirty floors and suspiciously brown clumps of toilet paper beside the toilets? Then I found your dream restroom.

Though this bathroom helpfully includes paper towels, there’s no trash can.

Keopuolani Park The largest county park on the island, Keopuolani Park is a graceful field of grass next to a majestic forest. There are three restrooms, which this writer considers three chances for the park to prove itself a real public attraction. Each bathroom had soap, toilet paper and paper towel dispensers. And all three bathrooms lacked paper towels and trash cans.

Kalama Park

“Forget Me Not” Park (Wind Surf Park) Located on the far right side of the grassy park, this restroom is distinctly average among Kihei beach bathrooms. I found stalls, toilet paper, soap, a dirty tile floor, a solid layer of dirt on the walls and no paper towels. On the plus side, the toilet seats looked clean and the locks on the stall doors were rusted but functional.

Ma‘alaea Harbor The tragedy of the commons is most apparent here, the cleanest of all the restrooms I inspected. Located in the shops at Ma‘alaea (and as such not part of the county’s Parks department), it smelled like bleach and chlorine. It’s green tiles were shiny, there was TP, soap, paper towels and even glorious toilet seat covers. In fact, this was the only restroom I visited that had toilet seat covers and a floor mat by the sink. I’ve included it here to show the dramatic contrast between public and private restrooms on Maui.

Launiupoko The great question when walking into the restroom at Launiupoko is whether to

Baldwin Beach Park Without charm or malice, the Baldwin Beach Park bathroom was the least cozy.

Neither the mens’ nor the womens’ restrooms had soap or paper towels. Knowing that salt cleans everything is a great comfort, because the bathrooms didn’t seem dirty but leaving them after a dirty deed without soap at the ready is a terrifying idea, especially since that’s how everyone has to do it. At least there was TP. Oh, and that bit about dirty floors at the Paia Youth and Cultural Center? It goes double for Baldwin Beach Park. There’s a whole world of nastiness on the floor.

Probably best to use closed-toe shoes for this one, or good industrial work boots if you have them.

Kanaha Beach Park There are several bathrooms in Kanaha Beach Park and none of them have paper towels or soap. One of them possesses a foul odor reminiscent of a water treatment plant or sewer. The doors have been painted over several times and there’s lots of trash on the floor. But the restroom buildings themselves have a really cute design with the doors built into the corners of the building. This almost makes me regret the silent oath I uttered to never under any circumstances use this restroom.

4th Marine Division Memorial Park Giggle Hill is the affectionate and unofficial title given to this park. The name inspires dreamy visions of happy children romping down glowing green hills. Yet the bathroom of Giggle Hill inspires only hollow, chilling fear. Not only does it lack paper towels and a trash can but there’s no soap. The young and old go to Giggle Hill and the thought of them being without soap puts a sour feeling in my heart.

PHOTO BY MAX ERRICKSON

It may be one of the most used bathrooms on the island, but it’s not the cleanest. The Kalama Park bathroom is fairly nice in terms of having toilet paper and a trash can. But the trashcan seemed unnecessary since there were no paper towels. Though it did seem to be a good backup receptacle in case the toilet clogged.

nately the trash on the floor was disconcerting. The tiles are caked with a layer of sand and grime that was very disgusting, which is why I suggest wearing your slippers when you visit this bathroom (or any of the others I’ve written about, to be honest).

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

the interior decorating as well. The urinals are low flow as is the toilet. The floor has a layer of grime. Soap is a wondrous luxury that is apparently unavailable at the Mala Wharf. To be fair, the toilet seats looked clean enough to sit on and there was a trash can that would have been great, had there been any paper towels.

Iao Valley State Park This should really be better. Iao Valley is pristine and beautiful in every aspect and there isn’t even soap in the bathroom. The restroom is clearly cleaned every day but there wasn’t a trash can, paper towels or water in the sinks. The bathroom near the parking lot has been closed recently for sewage maintenance and repair and hopefully that includes restoring water to the sinks.

Market Street The county has a public building on Market Street in Wailuku. This bathroom shares the issues with other public facilities across Maui. There’s no soap and the whole restroom is really dirty. There was a trash can in the front, which was rather lonely: a bathroom without paper towels leaves the trash can without a cause.

Ho‘okipa Beach Park There’s only one restroom at Ho‘okipa Beach Park and it has soap, a trashcan and even the rare and most mysterious paper towels. The stall doors open easily enough, though the lock to the door is a little difficult to work with.

Paia Youth and Cultural Center The bathroom next to the Paia Youth and Cultural Center has soap and TP. Unfortu-

Hali‘imaile Park This should be the top priority for the County of Maui Park Maintenance: there’s a leaking toilet at Hali‘imaile Park. While this park had the sweet benefits of a trash can, soap and an empty paper towel dispenser that we imagine will get refilled eventually, the floor was soaked because of the toilet.

Wahikuli Wayside Beach Park The floor was wet and sandy. The doors were grimy. It’s a well travelled bathroom.

There is toilet paper and soap but nothing else to make a trip to this particular bathroom a healthy or comfortable experience.

In other words, it’s the perfect place to end my tour of Maui public restrooms. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

APRIL 14, 2016

11

F O L L O W US!

by Jen Russo

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ocation, location, location! That can make or break you in the restaurant business. That’s why Migrant, the wonderful establishment where Chef Sheldon Simeon has created a fine dining menu by elevating local cuisine and flavors, is leaving the Marriott in Wailea next month.

“We want to be in Wailuku,” Simeon says. “It’s important to us to be where locals are, and be a part of that community.”

Wailea has served Migrant well. It’s gained a following with both tourists and locals in its few years at the Marriott. But when it came time to renew their lease, the Migrant team decided to make their move. The restaurant closes May 15 and will reopen in Wailuku at a later date. Exactly when isn’t known right now.

“We encourage everybody to come out and eat as much as possible because there will be a hiatus,” says Melanie Wicker, the General Manager at Mala Wailea and Migrant. “Migrant will be re-opening in Wailuku, but we haven’t found our permanent and final location. We are looking, we have lots of big dreams and ideas. My guess is we will open in early 2017.”

Finding a new spot where they want to be is a bit of a challenge. There are no new turnkey spots in Wailuku for a restaurant operation like Migrant. Many of the old existing buildings, though charming, require renovation and build-outs.

“The county wants us to be there, the mayor wants us to be there,” says Wicker. “They all have ideas of Sheldon being the anchor for Wailuku, and being a part of the revitalization and making Wailuku a dining destination.”

In the meantime, Sheldon Simeon has been busy at his new little Kahului lunch spot Tin Roof (in addition to working Migrant).

“I’m glad we can offer new options for lunch in Kahului,” says Simeon. “I’m so grate-

ful and honored by the outpouring of support we have had so far. People are lining up before we open at 10 in the morning to try our food!”

Tin Roof is has a simple but phenomenal menu of proteins and veggies in rice bowls with some add-ons, a few salads, noodles and sandwiches. On their first day they sold out of everything and had to close the next day to regroup. Simeon says they’re still figuring out where they need to be to keep things in stock. Tin Roof is very mom-andpop, with Simeon’s wife Janice at the counter taking orders while he works with the kitchen staff to pack up the dishes.

The menu ranges from $5 to $10. The poke bowl was out the day I visited but we were able to sample the mochiko chicken, chop steak, scrimps, chicken sando, dry mein, kale salad and beet box. The beet box was a sleeper hit in the office–deep fried beets swished in spices, then topped with an aioli and furikake. We took turns sampling the spicy side. You can choose white or brown rice. All the bowls come with banchan but you can order little extras like sous vide egg, ulu mac salad and a special blend furikake called “dime bag.”

While Mala Wailea will close, you can still enjoy the Mala menu at the original Mala location in Lahaina. Mala Ocean Tavern is one of Lahaina’s hot spots in Mark Ellman’s trio of restaurants on the north end of Front Street.

The Marriott will absorb the existing Mala Wailea dining room for banquet space. The Migrant location is going to be taken over by Roy Yamaguchi for a new Roy’s restaurant.

“It will be a new concept restaurant, not the traditional Roy’s Restaurant,” says Wicker. “That will probably be coming in mid-December.”

For now, Migrant has been busy as word gets around about the restaurant moving, so reservations are recommended. I’ve been by to get my fix of sake and hibachi hangar steak, kudesh noodles and kale salad. Happy hour runs 4-6pm daily. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

A&E

by Jen Russo

'Da Best Fish Tacos' YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT HAWAIIAN FIESTA FOOD TRUCK IN KAHULUI

PHOTO BY MAUI TIME

Hawaiian Fiesta's Nestor Jaimes

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estor Jaimes makes his own homestyle Mexican food at his Hawaiian Fiesta food truck. It’s one of my favorite spots at the food truck stop by the sea at the Kahului Small Boat Harbor. It’s unbelievable how many different items he can make in his converted passenger-van kitchen. The Hawaiian Fiesta menu is huge!

His truck is easy to spot–he has it colorfully painted with the words “Da Best Fish Tacos Burritos Shrimp Plate” in giant lettering.

Unique to his zone, he has a table and chairs and an awning for you to sit under should you wish to devour your fish tacos right there.

He cranks out the dishes pretty fast, too.

His fish tacos are certainly tasty. He cuts the fish into chunks and tops all the tacos with guacamole, pico de gallo, lettuce, cheese and you always get a side container of his delicious homemade salsa. He takes two corn tortillas, warms them into soft tacos shells, then stuffs them full of your choice of protein.You will need a napkin because these babies are juicy.

Tacos are sold by the twos a la cart ($7-8) or on a plate with rice and beans ($9-10). Tacos can be ordered with fish, steak, chile verde,

shrimp, chorizo, chile verde and carnitas.

I usually go for tacos but I recently ordered a burrito for a change. I got the shrimp burrito ($11) and now I’m hooked. The burritos are stuffed with guacamole, pico de gallo, beans, rice, cheese, lettuce and your protein, like the tacos, but Jaimes has them perfectly balanced. They also aren’t as messy as tacos.

Every bite was full of flavor and texture, and you get a lot of food (they’re priced at $8 or $12 with beans and rice).

But Jaimes’ specialties are his shrimp plates. He has shrimp scampi and shrimp ranchero plates for $12. I haven’t tried the scampi yet, but the ranchero is muy bien.

It comes with beans and rice and green salad. I noticed he didn’t have a keiki burrito, but I asked him to make me a plain kid-sized bean and cheese burrito and he didn’t bat an eye or overcharge me for it.

The menu also offers chicken enchiladas, nachos, blackened fish and chicken quesadillas.

The taco truck is almost always parked at the Kahului boat launch. Jaimes also keeps Mexican Coca Cola on hand for $2 if you really want the true Hawaiian Fiesta experience. ■

#ROSSKNOWS

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

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A FEW NOTES ABOUT BALLOT STUFFING:

We know you hold the key to the BEST OF MAUI. It’s your year round perseverance and diligent research on where to eat, where to play, the best shops on the island, and which political scandal takes the cake for 2016. The time you’ve been waiting for is finally here. Cast your vote for your favorite shops, restaurants and community highlights in the MauiTime Best of Maui and be heard!

As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure.

We’ve added some new categories this things up, but you’ll still is year to spice p find all the old standbys. Please VOTE CATEGORIES if you TE E IN A AT LEAST 40 CATEGO want your ballot to be counted. Voting ng g ends May 20th.

20th

While most people play it straight, every year a few nefarious folks attempt to stuff the ballot box. To cut down on this, and to ensure the results are fair and accurate, here are a few rules:

★ ONLY ONE (1) BALLOT PER PERSON ★ ALL BALLOTS MUST BE SIGNED ★ NO PHOTOCOPIED BALLOTS WILL BE ACCEPTED

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You may also notice these convenient ie en nt little QR codes throughout the ballot lo ott that you can scan with your smart phone at any time to take you to our online ballot.

Any ballots that violate these rules—or that sufficiently rouse our suspicion— will not be tallied. We hope it isn’t necessary, but if anyone does attempt to unfairly sway the outcome, we reserve the right to create a Best Ballot Stuffer category. This is not something you want to win—trust us.

YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT! NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

VOTE ONLINE AT: HTTP://MAUITIME.COM/BALLOT/ OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 16 S. Market St., Suite 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793

16 0 2 E TH

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APRIL 14, 2016 15

GOODS & SERVICES

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APRIL 14, 2016 17

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Picks

by Marina Satoafaiga

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, APR. 14 NUCLEAR SAVAGE – Maui Peace Action and the Maui Hiroshima/Nagasaki Remembrance Committee present “Nuclear Savage–The Islands of Secret Project 4.1” at the Wailuku Public Library.

Film producer Adam Horowitz reveals the horrific radiation experiments conducted over the Marshall Islands and kept top secret by the US government. Sixty-seven nuclear bomb tests landed the Marshall Islands a $150 million settlement. Free. 5:30pm. Wailuku Public Library. (251 High St., Wailuku); 808-243-5766, Mauipeace.org.

Photo courtesy Maui Peach Action

‘POHAKU’ – The Maui Arts & Cultural Center presesnce, ents Pohaku. Blending storytelling, hula, modern dance, classical music and projection design, Christopher Mortive gan’s labor of love explores themes of Hawaii’s native mu people, including land loss and fractured identity. Kumu orhula and cellist Elsie Kaleihulukea Ryder will join Moral gan on stage. $35+. 7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural g.

Center (1 Cameron Way, Kahului), MauiArts.org.

Photo By Sareen Hairabedian

FRIDAY, APR. 15 ‘THE NERD’ – It’s opening night for the Pro Arts Playhouse production of The Nerd by Larry Shue.

Willum Cubbert, a young architect, is visited by a man who claims to have saved his life in Vietnam and up until then had only kept in touch via letters. But Willum’s friends and tenants, Tansy and Axel, may not be the innocent bystanders they seem to be. Reserved Seats: $25/Kama‘aina Nights: $22. ThursdaysSaturdays at 7:30pm, Sundays at 3pm. ProArts Playhouse (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550, Proartspacific.com. Photo: Jack Grace

MAUI HAWAIIAN STEEL GUITAR FESTIVAL – The eighth annual Maui Hawaiian Steel Guitar Festival returns to the Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel this Friday through Sunday, April 15-17.

Headliners include Alan Akaka, Sam Ako, Jeff Au Hoy, Bobby Ingano, Joel Katz and Geri Valdriz. Bring your own instruments for Kanikapila Unplugged, attend a variety of workshops and shake your hips during the hula lessons. The Festival will also host Japanese steel guitar artists Tadashi Arakawa, Tesuya Ishiyama and Kiyoshi Kobayashi. Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.) Mauisteelguitarfestival.com.

Photo courtesy Maui Hawaiian Steel Guitar Festival

SATURDAY, APR. 16

FRIDAY, APR. 15 LAHAINA KITE FESTIVAL –The Lahaina Restoration Foundation (LRF) invites you to celebrate National Kite Month this Friday and Saturday, April 15 (2-6pm) and 16 (9am-2pm) at the Wo Hing Museum. The two-day Chinese Kite Festival will highlight cultural arts, kite-making, multi-line sport kites and kite fighting demonstrations and more. Indulge in steamed manapua with beef brisket and help make a giant tetrahedral kite. Free admission. Wo Hing Museum (858 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-5553, LahainaRestoration.org/events.

Photo courtesy LRF

BUTTERFLY EFFECT – Calling all wahine to pick up your paddles for the 10th annual Butterfly Effect. The event will take paddlers (kayak, canoes and SUP all welcome) from Baldwin Beach to Kanaha Beach Park. The noncompetitive event embraces environmental and social progress, so don’t forget to bring your reusable water bottled and reef-safe sunscreen. The post beach festival will feature food, music, SUP yoga, body scrubs and more.

A portion of net proceeds will benefit Paia Youth & Cultural Center. $40-50. Betheeffect.com/maui-hawaii.

Photo By Paul Karaolides

SATURDAY, APR. 16 RECORD STORE DAY – It’s time to shop for special vinyl releases on Record Store Day at Request Music. Enjoy live DJ sets and win giveaways. The Minorities, Lia Live, Dj Blast, DJ Irie Dole and more are in the lineup. Don’t miss out on the instore specials. Take advantage of Request’s stock, which reaches back pretty far. 10am-6pm. Request Music (10 N. Market St., Wailuku), Facebook.com/RequestsHawaii. Photo courtesy Request Music Facebook page

MAUI KI-AIKIDO MEDITATION WORKSHOP – Maui Ki-Aikido is hosting a meditation workshop with Christopher Curtis, chief instructor of the Hawaii Ki Federation and an eighth-degree black belt. Teens and adults are invited to learn the basics, practice different techniques as well as discuss meditation misconceptions. Curtis is the author of Letting Go: Talks on Aikido. $10. 10am-noon. Maui Ki-Aikido (194 S. Market St., Wailuku); 808-244-5165, Mauiaikido.com. Photo of Christopher Curtis courtesy Maui Ki-Aikido

SATURDAY, APR. 16 KEIKI DAY – Little Monk Seal Montessori presents Keiki Day in Kihei. The afternoon will be loaded with keiki friendly activity including gymnastics with Maui Tumblers, yoga with Michelle Lazuka, crafts, trike rides and more. Geared towards preschool littles, the afternoon will help relieve their wiggles. Free. 11-1:30pm. Little Monk Seal Montessori (300 Ohukai Rd. #205, Kihei); 808-321-0028, Littlemonkseal.org.

Photo courtesy Little Monk Seal Montessori

BORN TO BE WILD TOUR – The Born To Be Wild Tour lands on the Maui Theatre stage. The show will feature Goldy McJohn and Glen Bui, who will be backed by an all-star band. They'll play hits like ”Magic Carpet Ride,” “Rock Me” and more. $49-99+. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre. (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900, Mauitheatre.com.

Photo courtesy Glen Bui

SUNDAY, APR. 17 DA TASTE OF KEOKEA –Savor the flavors of Keokea during Da Taste of Keokea at the Keokea Marketplace. Guests are invited to sample chef-crafted dishes, listen to live music, watch hula halau performances and more. There will be appearances from Lehua Kalima of Na Leo Pilimehana, Shawn Pimental, John Cruz and Sistah Robi Kahakalau. Bring your appetite as the menu includes ulu cakes by Chef Kimo Simpliciano.

Proceeds benefit the Keokea Homestead Farm Lots Association. $5.

10am-4pm. Keokea Marketplace (Mile Marker 17 of Kula Hwy).

Photo courtesy Keokea Hawaiian Homestead Facebook page

TUESDAY, APR APR. R. 19

POI SUPPER – The Poi Supper series at Whole Foods Maui features Chef Sheldon Simeon. A collaboration between Whole Foods and Edible Hawaiian Islands, the event features a pounding of fresh pa‘i‘ai with Ola Mau Farms, a three-course dinner prepared by Simeon and dessert from Maui Sweet Cakes.

All proceeds benefit the Wailuku Elementary School garden, a program managed by Grow Some Good. $20. 5:30-8pm.

Whole Foods Market (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului), GrowSomeGood.org. Photo courtesy Grow Some Good

WEDNESDAY, APR. 20 MAUI HUILIAU BENEFIT – Flatbread Company is hosting a benefit for Maui Huliau Foundation. A portion of the proceeds from the evening’s pizza sales will benefit environmental education programs for Maui youth. The evening additionally recognizes Flatbread as one of Maui's first ocean-friendly restaurants.

5-10pm. Flatbread Company (89 Hana Hwy., Paia), Mauihuliaufoundation.org. Photo courtesy Maui Huliau Foundation

EARTH DAY – University of Hawaii Maui College (UHMC) and Student Ohana for Sustainability (SOS) host Earth Day festivities at the college’s Great Lawn. The public is invited to a tree-planting ceremony and blessing, games and live music. The day will also feature booths with a carnival theme, a raffle for prizes as well as food and beverages. Free admission. 10am-1pm. UH Maui College (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Palio@hawaii.edu. Photo courtesy SOS

APRIL 14, 2016 19

Film

by Barry Wurst II

POV POS If at all possible, avoid ‘Hardcore Henry’ ★★★★★ Rated R / 96 Min.

T

he word was out that someone made a feature-length, first-person POV motion picture for the mainstream. I saw this opening weekend and made sure my seat was close to the screen and in the center aisle. I wanted the full, immersive, you-are-there experience touted by the preview. About an hour in, I seriously wondered why I hadn’t already walked out.

The story: In a scene ripped off from RoboCop, Henry wakes up, discovers he’s missing limbs, has lost his memory and is being cared for by his hot scientist girlfriend. I’m not being sexist–”hot scientist girlfriend” is all there is to the character.

Anyway, Henry is an advanced super soldier (a steal from Universal Soldier, of all movies). He escapes from the flying (?!) lab, runs across Russia and kills a lot of people.

Henry has no dialogue, we glimpse his face only once and watch, through his eyes, as he kills hundreds of bad guys.

How’s the technique? For starters, Henry’s eye line is off. Unless I missed a line of dialogue establishing how Henry’s pupils

are in his neck, the establishing scenes are a botch. As Henry looks down on his body, I was frequently aware of how hard the movie is trying to make us believe a phony point of view. If this sounds like nitpicking, look at Gaspar Noe’s challenging, far riskier 2009 film Enter the Void. Through use of precise visuals and audio, Noe makes his viewers believe they’re seeing and hearing life through the skull of another human being with scary precision. Hardcore Henry, on the other hand, badly wants to be a liveaction video game but is too chaotic, ugly and artless to be as fun as it should be.

Compare the masterful virtual reality scenes from Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days or Douglas Trumbull’s Brainstorm (which are still chillingly spot-on, intimate and brilliantly staged) with anything in this movie. Those movies gave us first-person “memories” as vivid as the most lucid dreams. Here, the camera is so shaky, much of the action is incoherent.

The only moments that live up to the promise of the movie poster are the ones where Henry is either flying or falling. It’s such an exhilarating effect, and the movie itself is so ridiculous, why couldn’t Henry have flown in every scene?

Here’s another comparison that came to

Oh wow, I really can see my car from here

mind: the still shocking, nihilistic and amazing “Smack My B***h Up” music video from Prodigy. It was controversial in 1997, rarely shown on MTV and, in four and a half minutes, achieves the kind of perverse thrill and extension of our dark fantasies that Hardcore Henry can’t come close to.

Sharlto Copley is the biggest name in the cast and his work here is light years from his terrific performance in District 9.

Copley plays different versions of “Jimmy,” whose true identity is a surprise, though I’m not sure I could fully explain why. Copley overacts in lots of different disguises.

Everyone else in the cast is equally bad. The irredeemable moment: Copley “singing” “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.”

I could point out that the whole thing is misogynist, horribly violent, morally deplorable and often vile, but why bother? After all, it’s called Hardcore Henry. I’m supposed to be okay with how extreme it is, right? Fine. It gives certain viewers exactly what they want, but don’t the rest of us deserve more?

The climactic battle involves Henry taking on dozens of soldiers, all of whom are dressed in white (presumably to maximize the bloodshed). Unlike the thrilling, bloody bonkers and extraordinary battle between The Bride and the Yakuza army in Kill Bill Vol. 1, I could barely keep track of what was happening. This and other scenes feel like we’re watching Hardcore Henry with the Fast Forward button on. If only that were true. ■

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui.

Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

20 APRIL 14, 2016

Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes

THURS | 4/14

KA‘AHUMANU 6

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice- PG13-

Zootopia -PG- 2D THU 12:10 2:10 2:40 5:10

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

2D THU 11:30 12:00 2:50 3:20 7:10 9:40 10:10, 3D THU 6:10 9:10. 2D FRI-WED 11:30 12:00 2:50 3:20 6:10 7:10 9:30 10:00.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding- PG13- THU 11:30 1:50 4:20 7:50 9:30, FRI-SAT 11:30 1:50 4:20 6:50 9:20, SUN 11:50 2:10 4:40 7:10 9:40, MON-WED 11:30 1:50 4:20 6:50 9:20.

Midnight Special- PG13- FRI-WED 11:40 2:20 5:00 7:40 10:20.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant- PG13- THU 1:50 4:30 7:20 10:10, FRI-WED 11:30 2:20 5:00 7:40 10:20.

Miracles from Heaven- PG- THU 11:30 4:30 7:00, FRI-WED 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:30.

10 Cloverfield Lane -PG13- THU 11:30 2:00 7:10 9:30, FRI-WED 7:00 9:40.

Hello, My Name Is Doris- R- THU 11:30 2:00 4:50, FRI-WED 12:20 2:30 4:40.

7:10, 3D 11:40 4:40 9:40. 2D FRI 11:40 2:10 4:40 7:10 9:40, SAT 11:40 2:10 4:40 7:20 9:50, SUN 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30 10:00, MON-WED 11:40 2:10 4:40 7:10 9:40.

The Jungle Book-PG- 2D FRI-SAT 11:45 12:15

12:45 2:00 3:00 4:15 5:00 6:00 6:30 7:15 7:45 8:45 10:00, SUN-THU11:45 12:15 12:45 2:00 3:00 4:15 5:00 6:00 6:30 7:15 7:45, 3D FRI-SAT 11:15 1:30 3:45 8:15 10:30, SUN-THU 11:15 1:30 3:45 8:15.

Demolition-R- THU 11:00 12:00 1:15 2:20 3:30 4:40 5:45 7:00 8:00 9:15, FRI-THU 9:30.

God’s Not Dead 2 -R- THU 12:00 1:35 2:35 4:10 5:10 7:00 7:50, FRI-THU 2:30.

Criminal-R- FRI-SAT 11:00 1:40 4:20 7:00 9:30, SUN-THU 11:00 1:40 4:20 7:00.

Eye In The Sky- R- THU 11:00 12:00 1:15 2:25 3:30 4:45 5:50 7:10 8:10 9:30 10:30, FRI-SAT 12:00 2:25 4:45 7:10 9:30, SUN-THU 12:00 2:25 4:45 7:10.

Mononoke- PG- SAT 11:00 I Saw The Light- R-THU 11:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) The Jungle Book-PG- THU 7:00 9:30, FRI-SUN

1:00 4:00 7:00 9:30, MON 1:00 4:00 7:00, TUE 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:30, WED 1:00 4:00 7:00.

The Boss-R- THU 1:15 3:45 6:30, FRI-SUN 1:15 3:45 6:30 9:00, MON 1:15 3:45 6:30, TUE 1:15 3:45 6:30 9:00, WED 1:15 3:45 6:30.

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice- PG132D THU 1:00, FRI-WED 1:00 4:20 7:45.

Hardcore Henry- R- THU 1:30 4:00 6:45.

FRI | 4/15

90’S NIGHT WITH DJ BLAST 10PM • $10 COVER

SAT | 4/16

The Butterfly Effect After Party FEATURING

Sicnickles with DJ Sweet Beets 9:00PM • $10 COVER

SUN | 4/17

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM

DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • NO COVER

TUES | 4/19

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

TOM CONWAY

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

This Is Winter Jam-PG- TUE 7:00.

WED | 4/20

The Metropolitan Opera: Roberto Devereux-

RYAN ROBINSON

NR- SAT 12:55, WED 6:30.

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

Barbershop: The Next Cut- PG13- THU 6:40

9:20, FRI-WED 11:30 2:10 4:50 7:30 10:30.

Hardcore Henry-R- THU 11:20 1:50 4:10 6:40 10:05, FRI 12:10 2:40 5:10 7:40 10:00, SAT 7:40 10:00, SUN-TUE 12:10 2:40 5:10 7:40 10:00, WED 12:10 2:40.

The Boss-R- THU 11:50 12:20 2:20 2:50 4:50 5:20 7:20 7:50 10:20 10:40, FRI-MON 11:50 12:20 2:20 2:50 4:50 5:20 7:20 7:50 9:50 10:30, TUE 11:50 12:20 2:20 2:50 4:50 7:20 7:50 9:50 10:30, WED 11:50 12:20 2:20 2:50 4:50 5:20 7:20 7:50 9:50 10:30.

142 HANA HWY a PAIA a 808.579.8085

Barbershop: The Next Cut opens this week

NEW THIS WEEK

Camp, Francesca Battistelli, for KING & COUNTRY and NewSong) up close and behind the scenes. 95 min.

BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT - PG13 Comedy - The neighborhood around Calvin’s Barbershop isn’t what it used to be, so the crew gets together to turn things around. 112 min.

NOW PLAYING 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE - PG13 - Drama/SciFi - After getting into a wreck, a woman is held captive by two guys who say the world is under attack from chemical weapons. 105 min.

THE JUNGLE BOOK - PG - Adventure/Family With help from Bagheera the panther and Baloo the bear, Mowgli faces the dreaded tiger Shere Khan in this Rudyard Kipling classic. 105 min.

BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE - PG13 - Action/Adventure - Dramatization of the landmark Supreme Court case that concerned the limits of tort laws in the matter of defective capes.

Kidding! It’s about Batman and Superman kind of fighting with Lex Luthor (I think Wonder Woman shows up too for some reason). 151 min.

MET OPERA: ROBERTO DEVEREUX - NR - Music - See New York’s Metropolitan Opera perform this classic tale of how Queen Elizabeth I must sign the death warrant of the nobleman she loves. 160 min.

THE BOSS - R - Comedy - Melissa McCarthy plays a rich industrialist who goes to prison for insider trading, then tries to rebrand herself as a good citizen. 99 min.

MIDNIGHT SPECIAL - PG13 - Adventure/ Science Fiction - A father and his son (who has special powers, of course) are pursued by the government and some cult. 112 min.

DEMOLITION - R - Comedy/Drama - A guy coping with the sudden death of his wife forms an unlikely bond with a vending machine company customer service rep. 100 min.

PRINCESS MONONOKE - PG13 - Animation/ Fantasy - Ashitaka finds himself caught between forest gods and a mining colony as he journeys to find a cure for Tatarigami’s curse. 134 min.

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT– PART 1 - PG13 - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Tris and Four must escape and learn the shocking truth of what’s beyond the wall that encircles Chicago (spoiler: it’s another movie). 121 min.

THIS IS WINTER JAM - NR - Music - See some of Christian music’s biggest artists (like Skillet, Jeremy

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

MON | 4/18

MALL MEGAPLEX

CRIMINAL - R - Action/Science Fiction - The government implants a dead CIA operative’s memories and skills into a death-row inmate to stop a dangerous plot, because what could possibly go wrong with that? Stars Kevin Costner, Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot. 113 min.

MARK JOHNSTONE & LENNY CASTELLANOS

EYE IN THE SKY - R - Drama/War - A colonel has

an international incident on her hands when a girl wanders into her counter-terrorist operation in Kenya. Stars Helen Mirren and the late Alan Rickman. 102 min.

GOD’S NOT DEAD 2 - PG - Drama/Science Fiction - Oh no! Evil school administrators are trying to destroy Jesus! Does one god-fearing teacher have the power to stop them? 121 min.

HARDCORE HENRY - R - Action/Adventure - Firstperson POV flick about a guy who’s reborn with no memory and must stop a warlord from bioengineering super-soldiers. See this week’s movie review. 96 min.

HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS - R - Comedy/ Drama - Sally Field stars in this film about a 60ish woman who pursues a younger man. 95 min.

MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN - PG - Drama - A young girl with a terrible digestive disorder is suddenly cured after a bad accident. Stars Jennifer Garner. 109 min.

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 - PG13 Comedy - Nia Vardalos and her family returns for even larger Greek wedding. 94 min.

ZOOTOPIA - PG - Animation/Adventure - A fox that’s a fugitive con artist must team up with a bunny that’s a rookie cop to stop a conspiracy. Voices

by Ginnifer Goodwin and Jason Bateman. 108 min.

LAST CHANCE I SAW THE LIGHT - R - Music/Drama - A biographical look at country music legend Hank Williams. Stars Tom Hiddleston. 123 min.

EVENTS

Maui premiere performance!

Christopher Kau‘i Morgan & Artists

3ņ+$.8

TONIGHT April 14 7:30 pm Castle

FREE school band concerts

6W $QWKRQ\ +LJK 6FKRRO TUE April 19 7:00 pm Castle

.DODPD ,QWHUPHGLDWH 6FKRRO TUE April 26 6:30 pm Castle Maui Choral Arts presents

$ 1,*+7 $7 7+( 029,(6

SAT April 23 - 7:30 pm SUN April 24 - 3:00 pm McCoy Celebrating 90 years of smiles!

7+( +$5/(0 */2%(75277(56

SUN April 24 3:00pm War Memorial Gymnasium GALLERY

$57 0$8, Through April 23 10 - 5 Open every day FREE

APRIL 14, 2016 21

Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS PRIDE NIGHT GLBT - Thu. Apr 14. Head to the Hard Rock for drinking and dancing with resident DJ Love! Proceeds will benefit the Maui AIDS Foundation and Maui Pride. $5. 10pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY TOWN PARTY - Fri. Apr 15. Live entertainment, classic car showcase, keiki activities, great food and more. Don’t forget to bring a canned food item for Maui Food Bank. 5:30pm. Makawao Town, (Baldwin Avenue, Makawao); Mauifridays.com SAK BLABBATH - Fri. Apr 15. Hard Rock Cafe Maui presents Sak Blabbath, Maui’s own Black Sabbath cover band. 21+. $5. 10pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com ‘90S NIGHT - Fri. Apr 15. Come to Paia for another totally awesome 90’s night with DJ Blast. $10.

9:30pm. 21+ Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy, Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com NAVE’S BIRTHDAY BASH - Fri. Apr 15. Join Soul Kitchen for band member Tempa Singer Nave’s Birthday Bash at Mulligan’s On The Blue.

There will also be a few surprise special guests.

7pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com

This cruise includes delicious appetizers, perfectly mixed Mai Tais and other cocktails. 4:30pm. (Ma‘alaea Harbor); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org ‘AN EVENING WITH ALBERT EINSTEIN’ - Fri. Apr 15. Come enjoy a performance of “An evening with Albert Einstein” by Rick Scheideman. 6:30pm. The Pioneer Inn, (658 Wharf St, Lahaina); 808-276-4201; pioneerinn-maui.com FREE RANGE COMEDY - Sat. Apr 16. Pure improv comedy by Maui’s own award-winning troupe! Raw, unfiltered, fast and funny audience inspired scenes and games (but don’t bring the kids). $10. 7:30pm. Temple of Peace Maui, (575 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-5220.

ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Sat. Get on board for lots of fun, food and dancing on Pacific Whale Foundation’s Island Rhythms Sunset Cocktail Cruise with local reggae star Marty Dread. This cruise includes delicious appetizers, perfectly mixed Mai Tais and other cocktails.

4:30pm. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf Street, Lahaina); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org ON THE SPOT THEATRE - Sun. Don’t miss this exciting night of improv! Their actors will take suggestions for improv scenes straight from the audience.

Share in the excitement, drama and emotion. $5.

6:30pm. Proartspacific.com

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT AFTER PARTY - Sat. Apr 16. Funk, groove, rock, blues, dance and more with Sicnickles and DJ Sweet Beets. 21+. $10.

9pm. Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com

POWER UP COMEDY WITH CHINO LAFORGE - Tue. Stand up comedy with Chino LaForge live on stage at Three’s Bar. 5:30pm. Threes Bar and Grill, (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; Threesbarandgrill.com

REMIX THE EARTH, VOLUME 9 - Sat. Apr 16.

Check out Luminaries and Rhythm Altar, featuring Boogiemeister, Brandon Lund and guests, with DJ Sets by Swazerazi and Amore One. Live painting by Melissa Bruck. Ten percent of profits go to Shaka Movement. $15. 9:30pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com

NA LIO KEIKI DAY - Wed. Apr 20. Bring your family to a fun evening with Na Lio Iki, our miniature horses, Julio and Freedom. This is a theatrical production with horses that tell the story of the Hawaiian Cowboy. Everyone will have an opportunity to take pictures and brush our minis. There will be games, crafting, coloring and refreshments. We will end the evening with a raffle for the Keiki. Free. 5:30pm. Na Lio Gift Shop, (335 Keawe St, Lahaina); 808-270-2255; Naliomaui.com

MICK FLEETWOOD BLUES BAND WITH RICK VITO - Tue. Apr 19. Ticket Holders with a dinner reservation get an opportunity to attend the Mick Fleetwood “Meet and Greet.” $50-125. 8:30pm.

Fleetwood’s On Front St., (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com/april2016 DJ IRIE DOLE - Wed. Enjoy late night reggae with DJ Irie Dole. 10pm. Paradise Grill, (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700; Paradisegrillkb.com

STAGE ‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Delight in the richness of Hawaiian history and culture through music and dance. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com BURN’N LOVE - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Performer Darren Lee makes it easy for you to relive the days of Blue Hawaii. Tickets start at $59.99; Children 12 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com WILLIE K & THE WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND Thu. This Hawaiian phenomenon captivates audiences around the world with his astounding performances and remarkable array of musical styles. $60 dinner and show, $25 show only. Call for reservations. 6:30pm.

King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Fri. Get on board for lots of fun, food and dancing on Pacific Whale Foundation’s Island Rhythms Sunset Cocktail Cruise with local reggae star Marty Dread.

22 APRIL 14, 2016

FOUREVER FAB SHOW - Wed. Apr 20. Fourever Fab, the Beatles Tribute Band, is composed of seasoned look and sound alike musicians who have been performing the timeless hits of the Beatles around the world for many years. Fourever Fab will be re-igniting your love for the lads who stole our hearts and changed the face of Rock’n Roll forever. 7pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com

MAUI FOODIE HALE KU‘AI OPEN MARKET - Thu. Features fresh assorted fruits and vegetables. Free. 11am. Hale Ku‘ai, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156.

COOKING WITHOUT BORDERS - Thu. Apr 14. Enjoy an evening with Canadian restaurateur and author Chef Vikram Vij and executive chef Francois Milliet. This culinary and beverage experience will feature action stations offering dishes highlighting Vij’s Indian heritage, as well as the island-inspired flare of Milliet, paired with wine and beverages from around the world.

Purchase tickets online. $90. 6pm. Pulehu, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Honoluluboxoffice.com/cooking FRIDAY ISLAND STYLE SEAFOOD BUFFET - Fri. Apr 15. Start with the best of the Pacific Ocean’s bounty, add fresh locally grown produce prepared by Makena’s culinary dream team and you get an amazing buffet of five stations that feature artfully-prepared seafood, island style dishes and desserts. $55 Adult; $30 Children; Free for children under 5. Call for reservations. 5:30pm. Molokini Bar and Grille Makena Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com SUNDAY HAWAIIAN MUSIC JAM SESSION Sun. How do you take Sunday Brunch and make it

better? By listening to Hawaii’s most talented musicians, of course. $50/adult, $25/children. 10am. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com WINE SOCIAL - Sun. Apr 17. Book ahead of time for this fabulous weekly event. Sixteen people will enjoy three award-winning wines, one bite to eat and great conversation with new friends. 5pm. Pulehu, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Pulehurestaurantmaui.com SPAGO MAUI DIM SUM SUNDAY - Sun. Apr 17.

Spago will be creating a dish with three dumplings: Malama Pork Potsticker, Crystal Chive Dumpling and Kauai Shrimp Har Gow. Call for reservations. $26.

5:30pm. Spago Maui-Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-879-2999; Fourseasons.com MAUI VEGETARIAN FOOD COOKING CLASS - Tue. Apr 19. See (and sample) how Chef Mama T uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes online. Free. 5pm. Down to Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; Downtoearth.org LUAU DINNER SHOW - Tue. Apr 19. The Ka‘anapali Beach Club is proud to announce their new Luau Dinner show–‘Huaka’I - Journey through Polynesia.’ The luau festivities include traditional games, woodcarvers, cultural demonstrations and fantastic Luau buffet.

The Hula performances are beautiful, and all will enjoy the fire knife dance finale. 6pm. Ka‘anapali Beach Club, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-661-2000; Diamondresorts.com CRAB FEST - Wed. Apr 20. All you can eat buffet includes seasonal crab legs with drawn butter and lemon, fried chicken, Maui corn, garlic bread, Caesar salad and potato salad. Top it off with pineapple cobbler for dessert. $46 per adult, $23 per child, free for children under three. Reservations required.

5:30pm. Ocean Pool Bar and Grill, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3259; Opentable.com

TICKETS ON SALE NATALIE ROBLES BAND - Thu. Apr 21. Enjoy the soulful eclectic sound of Natalie Robles and her band live at Mulligan’s. 7:30pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com THE PHARCYDE - Thu. Apr 21. Hard Rock Cafe hosts The Pharcyde for their Global Mana Tour 2016 with special guest Pure Powers. 21+ Tickets available online. $20. 9:30pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Bit.ly/1RZ2NkB KING KAMEHAMEHA KOMEDY KLUB - Fri. Apr 22.

The King Kamehameha Golf Club’s beautiful Waikapu Ballroom is the perfect venue for a night of side-splitting comedy. $75 Show with prime rib and seafood buffet, $40 show only. Reservations required. 6pm. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Kamehamehagolf.com AN EVENING WITH MARK TWAIN - Fri. Apr 22.

Come enjoy a performance of “An evening with Mark Twain” by Rick Scheideman. With humor and wisdom Mark Twain shares aspects of his fascinating life including his time on Maui. $20. 6:30pm. The Pioneer Inn, (658 Wharf St, Lahaina); 808-276-4201; pioneerinn-maui.com ‘A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES’ - Sat. Apr 23. Under the baton of Artistic Director Gary Leavitt, “A Night at the Movies” celebrates the beautiful melodies and spirited medleys that set the scene for your favorite moments on film. Pianist Lotus Dancer supports the 80 voice chorus of Maui residents as they bring these movie memories to life. Tickets are $30 for Adults $15/students and keiki 18 and under (with student ID) plus applicable fees.

7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Wailuku); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org

HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS - Sun. Apr 24. Celebrating 90 years of providing smiles, sportsmanship and service to millions of people worldwide, the Harlem Globetrotters will bring their unrivaled family show back to Hawaii. After the game, Globetrotter stars sign autographs and take photos with fans. 3:30pm. War Memorial, (700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku); 808-270-7389 OLUKAI: STAND-UP PADDLE BOARD EXPERIENCE - Tue. Apr 26. New OluKai Ho‘olaule‘a pre-event will be held at Montage Kapalua Bay. Stand-up Paddling (SUP) Experience with pro SUP athlete Connor Baxter and renowned waterman Archie Kalepa. A yoga stretch will be hosted by Spa Montage Kapalua Bay. Meet at Cliff House at 10am. $75 per person (ages 16 and older). Price includes April 30 OluKai Ho‘olaule‘a VIP spectator wristband. Space is limited, advance reservations are required. 10am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6628; Montagehotels.com JUSTIN MOORE AND RODNEY ATKINS - Thu. Apr 28. Country stars Justin Moore and Rodney Atkins perform for one night in their first Maui show. $39129. 5pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org DAVID BENOIT ‘2 IN LOVE’ - Fri. Apr 29. David Benoit, the Grammy-nominated pianist, composer and conductor, will join Maui musicians Phil and Angela Benoit. The evening will feature the silky voice of Angela as they perform songs from David’s new album 2 In Love. Phil will add smooth guitar, accompanied by a rhythm section of Maui all-stars.

Tickets are $35-45 (plus applicable fees). 7pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Wailuku); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org CHEECH & CHONG - Sat. Apr 30. Successful beyond their wildest dreams, the iconic comedy duo Cheech and Chong defined an era with their hilariously irreverent, satirical, counter-culture, no-holds-barred comedy routines. The evening will also feature special guest Brian Evans. 5pm. Lahaina Civic Center, (1840 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-4685.

CAZIMERO LEI DAY CONCERT - Sun. May 1. Enjoy smooth showmanship, talent and graciousness of Robert Cazimero, with contemporary Hawaiian music and hula. Pre-show festivities include hula and music in the courtyard. Island crafters will be on hand with a selection of fragrant lei. Tickets are $12-55 (plus applicable fees). 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org MAUI BREWER’S FESTIVAL - Sat. May 14. The Maui Brewers Festival showcases dozens of craft beers from breweries around Hawaii and the rest of the country as well as scrumptious food from many of Maui’s fine chefs. 2pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org

ART SCENE EXHIBIT: ART MAUI 2016 - Thu. Art Maui continues to showcase the growing community of visual artists on Maui in their 38th annual juried community exhibit. 10am. Schaefer International Gallery, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org WHALES AND WINTER MIGRATION - Thu. Explore Maui and the winter migration of humpback whales to Hawaii waters with photographer Douglas Jay Hoffman. 3pm. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr, Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/Kapalua-Bay 2016 SOLO ARTIST EXHIBITION WITH MELISSA CHIMERA & GABRIELLE ANDERMAN - Thu. Melissa Chimera will present “Agents of Change” a series of mixed media works on linen about extinction, globalization, and our role as humans on these processes. Gabrielle Anderman will present “Being Here,” which explores the relationship to the present.

Free. 5pm. Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/14

4/15

4/16

4/17

4/18-4/20

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Saturday Night Diva w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

PURE: Top 40, House & EDM w/DJ Big Mike

House Party Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze

Francois, 5:30-9:30pm

Francois, 5:30-9:30pm

MON-Joe Cano 5:30pm, TUE- Gina Martinelli & Gilbert Imata 5:30pm, WED- Tempa & Naor, 5:30pm

Dr.Nat & Rio Ritmo salsa, samba & latin pop, 9:30pm $10

Remix the Earth V9 w/ Luminaires, Rhythm Altar and more, 10pm $10/$15

WED- Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm $10 cover

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos, 6:30pm no cover

90s Night w/DJ Blast 10pm, $10

Butterfly Effect Afterparty w/ Sicnickles & DJ Sweet Beets 9pm, $10

Bloody Mary Bar! 7am-all day

MON- Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7pm, TUE-Tom Conway 6:30pm, WED-Ryan Robinson 6:30pm

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carrol 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:-9pm; no cover

MON - Da Ukulele Boyz, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm WED-Benny Uyetake 7-9

SIN

House Music

DJ $Mike, 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

TUE & WED- Pool League

Pub Quiz 7pm, DJ Jamo 10pm

DJ Jamo, 10pm

DJ Illz, 10pm

Steve Craig 6-9pm SIN 9pm

MON & TUE-Bartenders Mix, WED- Louis & Lewis, 10pm

Fresh Squeezed Fridays w/ Adam Rio & Bree Richardson, 8pm

Flip Coin Night!

10pm

Trivia Night, TBA

Paul Johnson, 7pm

Houseshakers, 7pm

Kona Storm, 7pm

Ryan Robinson, 7pm

MON- Steve Sargenti 7pm, TUEHouseshakers 7pm, WED- Cole Sulenta 7pm

TBA

Rick G 4pm, Dat Guys 9pm

Island Reggae, 9pm

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm

MON-Karaoke Rick G 4-8pm, TUE-Rick G 4-8pm, Karaoke 9pm, WED- Rick G 4-8pm, Open Mic 9pm

BLACK ROCK LOUNGE Sheraton Maui Resort, 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy, 661-0031

CAFE DEL VINO 300 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea - 868-0732

Gina Martinelli & Gene Argel, 5:30-9:30pm

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

‘UNDERSTANDING HAWAIIAN KAPA’ WITH DELANI TANAHY - Thu. Apr 14. Join the Hui for a special opportunity to gain hands-on experience with kapa making. After learning about the historical importance of Hawaiian kapa, students will make a shark tooth knife and ohe kapala stamps, beat the kapa using traditional tools and methods, make dyes, learn proper gathering methods and protocols for dye plants and discover the different types of designs unique to Hawaiian kapa. Tuition: $144 Members, $180 Non-Member + $50 supply fee. 9am.

Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com

chael Clements, also featuring Chelsea Bryce, Joseph Fletcher, Charlton Kinkade and Casey McLain. 5pm.

Viewpoints Gallery, (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-5979; Viewpointsgallerymaui.com

ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE - Thu. Apr 14. Browse sculptures, paintings, photography, woodturnings and ceramics from select local artists. Located in the lobby near the Botero Lounge. 9am. Grand Wailea, (3850 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com

WATERCOLOR ARTIST LUANA KAMA - Tue. Apr 19. Luna finds it fascinating to see the pigments and water flow on paper, her favorite subjects to paint are people and flowers. 4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com

AMY MADRIN JUSTEN - Thu. Apr 14. Amy Madrin Justen new watercolor paintings “Jail Birds” (Endemic, Endangered, Invasive and Extinct Birds of Hawaii) will be featured in Lahaina Arts Society’s Old Jail Courthouse. Come meet and talk stories with her, bring your friends and family to see how the magic is created. 10am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org IAN HAIGHT - Fri. Apr 15. Ian will be working on his beach and ocean wave-inspired paintings.

4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com RESORT ART COLLECTION TOUR - Fri. Learn about Grand Wailea’s extensive museum quality art collection, the largest resort collection in Hawaii. Tour meets and starts at NaPua Gallery. 10am. Grand Wailea, (3850 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd. invites you to visit our gallery, for live music and mai tais while we showcase our artist of the week. Free. 6pm. Lahaina Printsellers, (764 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com VIEWPOINTS GALLERY SPRING SHOW - Sat. Apr 16 - Fri. May 20. Opening reception with artist Mi-

MONTAGE ART EXHIBITION - Sun. Apr 17. Located at the Sunset Room, admire and purchase artwork from various artists on Maui. 8am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com WATERCOLOR ARTIST, CHRISTINE WAARA Mon. Apr 18. Come and meet Christine and watch her watercolor painting. 11am. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, APRIL 14 2016 GREAT AMERICAN CLEANUP - Until Sat. Apr 30. The Great American Cleanup is the country’s largest community improvement program. This year’s goal is to inspire and empower individuals and community groups to remove litter and debris from shorelines, waterways, roads and other public spaces. 9am. Maliko Gulch, (Hana Highway, Haiku); Malamamauinui.org VOLUNTEERS NEEDED AT PACIFIC PRIMATE SANCTUARY - Thu. Currently seeking volunteers for Animal Caretakers, Support Staff, Office Assistant/Creative Project Development, and Groundskeeper/Handyperson. 8am. Pacific Primate Sanctuary Inc., (Haiku); 808-572-8089; Pacificprimate.org VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION - Thu. Apr 14.

Volunteering on Vacation is a free year-round program that helps you easily find meaningful service projects to benefit Maui’s environment. Haleakala National Park (First and Third Saturdays), Malama Honokowai (Saturday), Hoaloha‘aina (Monday), O’o Farm (Wednesday), Hawaiian Islands Land Trust (Friday), Get a free tote bag for volunteering three hours or more. Call at least 24 hours in advance to sign

Sundaze Sessions w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm

MON-Movies Games Music 10pm, TUE- Tequila Tuesdays/ Dance Music,10pm, WED-Wine Down & Bartender Mix,10pm

Frisky Friday w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm

SIN w/ DJ Blast, 10pm

up. Free. 8:45am. Pacific Whale Foundation, (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org

ka to Hawai, and what they do while they are here.

11am. Banyan Tree Park, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina).

WRITING CLASSES - Thu. Apr 14 - Thu. May 12.

Jasmyne Boswell, author, teacher and coach is offering writing classes (memoir, fiction and nonfiction). Six-week sessions, $225+ G.E.T. tax (early reg. $195). 8am. Jasmyne Boswell, 808-268-5807; Jasmyneconsulting.com

COCONUT WEAVING - Fri. Join Bolly Helekahi for the 2015 Hana No‘eau cultural demonstration series. Bring your family and friends and learn the ancient art of Hawaiian coconut weaving. Free.

1pm. Kipahulu District of Haleakala National Park, (Kula); 808-572-4400; Nps.gov/hale

DONUTS 2 GO WITH THE FRIENDS OF JOE BLACKBURN - Thu. Apr 14. Nathan Nunuha and the Friends of Joe Blackburn will be giving away free donuts, until they run out. Free. 8:00am. Corner of Vineyard and Market Streets, (104 N. Market Street, Wailuku).

HALAU HULA KAULUOKALA KUMU ULUWEHI GUERRERO HULA CLASSES - Thu. Apr 14.

Halau Hula Kauluokala under the direction of Kumu Uluwehi Guerrero is opening classes for adults who cannot make a full halau commitment but still want to have hula in their lives. No fundraising, performance or protocol commitments. Must have knowledge of the hula basics. These are not beginner classes. $30. 5pm. Maui Art and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org YOGA FOR EVERY BODY - Thu & Sat. Gentle yoga, all levels of experience welcome. On the grass under the Monkeypod tree, between the two tennis courts.

During practice, we view the ocean and sometimes whales and rainbows appear. Taught by certified yoga teachers Sandy Callender, 808-214-2766 or Gylian Solay, 808-344-8068. Senior discounts are available. $8. 7:30pm. Waipulani Park, (S. Kihei Rd, Kihei).

FRIDAY, APRIL 15 FRIDAY MORNING YIN YOGA WITH SOOKIE KUNST - Fri. Apr 15. Bring a yoga or exercise mat and two firm beach towels for props. Suggested donation is $12 per class. Free for Pacific Cancer Foundation clients. 8am. Waipulani Park, (South Kihei Road).

HAWAIIAN ISLANDS HUMPBACK WHALE NATIONAL MARINE SANCTUARY WHALE TALK - Fri. Apr 15. Join our knowledgeable staff and volunteers as they present informative facts about humpback whales. Learn about their anatomy, behavior, why they make the journey from Alas-

WET NATURALIST - Fri. Apr 15. Join a Wet Naturalist at Maui Ocean Center’s Tide Pool and/or Discovery Pool for a hands-on presentation about Hawaii’s marine invertebrates! A marine naturalist will conduct the presentation from within the exhibit, allowing guests to see, touch and learn about sea stars, sea cucumbers, urchins and more.

1:30pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com KEIKI HULA PERFORMANCE - Fri. Come by to witness a true array of talents by our island’s keiki in their native hawaiian hula performance. 5pm.

The Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8277; Theoutletsofmaui.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 16 GO GREEN - Sat. Apr 16. Comprehensive Recycling every 3rd Saturday, visit MalamaMauiNui.org or call 877-2524 for the list of accepted items. 8am.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com MUC ‘N’ STUFF SPRING FAIR - Sat. Apr 16.

Annual event to raise funds for the restoration and maintenance of the 100-year-old community hall.

The event will feature a rummage sale, arts and craft booths, food booths, live entertainment, bake sale and door prize giveaways. Free. 9am. Makawao Union Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-9261; Makawaounionchurch.org MHSA WESTERN HORSE SHOW - Sat. Apr 16.

The Maui Horse Show Association is sponsoring a Western Horse Show with Katrina Nadratowski as the judge. Maui Gypsy Food Truck will provide refreshments. For more information, contact show manager Lehua Gardanier. 9am. Pi‘iholo Ranch, (325 Waiahiwi Rd., Makawao); 808-270-8750; Piiholo.com

APRIL 14, 2016 23

MAUI CLASSICAL MUSIC FESTIVAL

One Kite , One World = 2 Days of Family Fun !

2016

KATHERINE COLLIER & YIZHAK SCHOTTEN, MUSIC DIRECTORS

Chinese

Kite Festival

3 5 T H

A N N I V E R S A R Y

S E A S O N

$IVSDI DPODFSUT TVHHFTUFE EPOBUJPO BEVMUT TUVEFOUT

Friday, May 6, 2016

“VERVE AND VIRTUOSITY�

Makawao Union Church s 7:00 pm Monday, May 9, 2016

“PASSION AND NOBILITY�

Keawala‘i Congregational Church, Makena s 7:00 pm Wednesday, May 11, 2016

HANA COMMUNITY CONCERT Wananalua Congregational Church, Hana s 7:00 pm The 35th Anniversary Concert

Friday, May 13, 2016

“FESTIVAL FINALE�

Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Castle Theater s 6:00 pm Pre-concert pupu and no-host bar at 6:00 pm Performance at 7:00 pm with both audience and musicians on stage Post-concert dessert and champagne reception 4FBUJOH MJNJUFE UP t "ENJTTJPO QMVT BQQMJDBCMF GFFT

Friday, April 15 Explore the World of Kites Wo Hing Museum, 858 Front Street, Lahaina UP QN t Free Admission International Kites on Display Presentations on Kite History & Sports Tetrahedral Kite Making Chinese Erhu Musical Performance Chinese Foods from The Manapua Bakery Chinese Teas served in Tea Garden Buy a Kite to Fly!

Saturday, April 16 Let’s Fly Kites Lahaina Cannery Mall Lawn intersection of Highway 30 & Keawe Street BN UP QN t 1MFOUZ PG Free Parking Acrobatic Sport Kite & Kite Fighting Demos Watch Giant Chinese Dragon & Tetrahedral Kite Flying Kite Making Kite Flying with the Pros!

Presented by Lahaina Restoration Foundation and Hawai‘i Kitefliers Association with support from the Wo Hing Society and Lahaina Cannery Mall follow us on @LahainaRestFnd

For information and reservations,

call 808-878-2312 www.MauiClassicalMusicFestival.org

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT DJ KURT MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

Office of Economic Development

www.LahainaRestoration.org

For a complete schedule, see LahainaRestoration.org

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI� “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI�

FRIDAY APRIL 15TH THE OFFICIAL PARTY AFTER MAKAWAO’S 3RD FRIDAY PARTY

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30 PM $10 COVER

DR. NAT & RIO RITMO SALSA Y SAMBA Y LATIN POP

SATURDAY APRIL 16TH BEATS BAZAAR PRESENTS

REMIX THE EARTH — VOLUME 9

LUMINARIES (HIP HOP)

RHYTHM ALTAR (LIVE HOUSE & EDM)

facebook.com/LahainaRestoration

24 APRIL 14, 2016

Maui Arts & Cultural Center Box Office 808-242-SHOW (7469) www.mauiarts.org

v

SHOW STARTS AT 10 PM $10 COVER BEFORE 10PM $15 AFTER

SWAZERAZI — AMORE ONE (DJ SETS) MELISSA BROOK (LIVE PAINTING)

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS | 808.572.0220 | CASANOVAMAUI.COM

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/14

4/15

4/16

4/17

4/18-4/20

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Pride Night w/ DJ Love 10pm, $5 cover

Black Sabbath Cover Band: Sak Blabbath, 10pm $5

Latin Night w/ DJ Danny Q, 10pm, $8 cover

Evan Shulman, 7:30pm no cover

WED-Howard Ahia & Friends, 8-11pm no cover

Rick Glencross

Guest Performers

Guest Performers

Robbie Ray Jazz

MON, TUE & WED- Soundlab

Natalie Nicole

Damaged Goods

Natalie Nicole

Brant Quick Beer Pong

MON-Maui Blues, TUE- John Grover, WED-John Ness

Ma’a, 6:30pm

Willie K, 9-11pm $5 cover

Ma’a, 6:30pm

Benny & Rock, 6-8pm

MON-Benny & Rock, 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON-Trivia w/ Niki Guy, 7pm, TUE-Live Music w/ Alex Calma Band, 10pm

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TBA

TBA

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 6-9pm, no cover

Codae Music, 7-10pm

Meryl & Brian, 7-10pm

Mimosa and Bloody Mary Bar, 8:30am

Garrett Probst 10pm

DJ Lobstah 10pm

Welo & Kekai 10:30am-1:30pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:308:30pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm

Soul Kitchen, 7-10pm

Private Party

Celtic Tigers, 7-9:30pm

MON-Joyce&Gord, TUE- Brenton Keith & his Bag O’ Tricks 6:30pm, WED- Joel Katz 5:15pm, Willie K Dinner Show, 6:30pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Far West, 6-9pm

MAUIANO’S 900 Front St, Lahaina, 667-0791

MERRIMAN’S

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

CHINESE KITE FESTIVAL, KITE FLYING DAY - Sat. Apr 16. Bring the whole family to fly a kite at the open space lawn adjacent to Lahaina Cannery Mall where there is plenty of free parking. In addition to flying their own kites, participants can watch a Chinese dragon kite (175 feet long) take flight and soar, followed by a demonstration of acrobatic sport kites and a giant tetrahedral kite that was made by festival-goers. Members of Hawaii Kitefliers Association will demonstrate kite fighting. 9am.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com UKULELE STRUMMING WORKSHOPS - Sat. Apr 16. Play Along with Mele Fong from 9am-10am and from 11:30am-12:30pm. These free workshops are part of the annual Maui Hawaiian Steel Guitar Festival at the hotel. Learn new fun, sing-along songs. Free.

9am. Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-281-4981; Kbhmaui.com EXSTATIC HEART A HEART DANCE EXPERIENCE - Sat. Apr 16. A magical journey of transformation.

The dance-floor is a talk, drug and alcohol free space to connect through movement and expression. Please bring your own water. $15. 11am. Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8877; Lumeriamaui.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 17 VIP WHALE WATCH WITH GREG KAUFMAN - Sun. Apr 17. Enjoy the luxury of our sailing vessel Ocean Spirit, as Greg draws upon decades of experience and expertise to interpret and explain humpback whale behaviors.

This extended four-hour adventure includes BBQ lunch, beverages, listening to whales on underwater hydrophones and a free whale poster for your party! The cost is $125 ages 13 and over, $75 for ages 7-12, and free for kids under 7. Additional savings for kama‘aina and Pacific Whale Foundation Members. 12:30pm. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf Street, Lahaina); Pacificwhale.org FREE ZUMBA - Sun. Apr 17. At Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit Studio. Free. 9am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com MAUI MADE FESTIVAL - Sun. Apr 17. Featuring Hawaiian style entertainment followed by jazz. Stay the day and be entertained. 9am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

MONDAY, APRIL 18 HANA LEI: LEI MAKING TECHNIQUES - Mon. Apr

18. This is a cultural enrichment workshop at the museum.

Learn a variety of lei-making styles and techniques with Aunty Doll Aricayos. Free. 10:30am. Hale Hoikeike, (2375 Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-3326; Mauimuseum.org STORY OF HAWAII - Mon. Watch Bryant Neal as he combines history, geography and cartography of the Hawaiian Islands to create an educational and entertaining experience. 10am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com HULA SHOW BY TE TIARE PATITIFA - Mon. Enjoy a true Hawaiian hula show with Te Tiara Patitifa. 10:30am.

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 19 TALK STORY AND HULA LESSONS WITH KAHU DANE MAXWELL AND ‘OHANA - Tue. Visitors will have an extraordinary opportunity to hear from the Aquarium’s Hawaiian Cultural Advisor Kahu Dane Maxwell and ‘Ohana as they conduct a talk story session and hula lesson at the end of the Open Ocean Exhibit. Schedule is subject to change. 11:45am. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com FREE UKULELE LESSONS - Tue. Free ukulele lessons, because it’s never too late to learn how to play the ukulele.

Free. 5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com SING OUT MASTER CLASS WITH LOUISE LAMBERT - Tue. Apr 19. Sing Out and get ready for The Voice! Sing your best in your own style and prepare for professional singing gigs and auditions. Jazz vocalist, Maui’s Swing Queen Louise Lambert helps you learn confidence, mic technique, range expansion, flexibility, stage presence, music theory, harmony and ad libbing in a fun and safe space. $15. 6:45pm. Maui Meadows, (Kihei); 808-205-3971; Louiselambert.com

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20 SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - Wed. You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Road bikes recommended. Free.

6:55am. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; Southmauibicycles.com UKULELE MIX PLATE - Wed. With more than 20 years in the business, Mele Ukulele has developed great relationships with Maui’s best ukulele teach-

MON-Nestor Ugale 6pm, WED- Open Mic/Karaoke 9pm-close

ers. 6pm. The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com

Sulenta 7-9:30pm; (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-6696425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com

VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION: O‘O FARM - Wed. Work on an exquisite organic farm in the misting forest of Waipoli in Kula. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a light jacket that you do not mind getting a little dirty, plus water and sunscreen. Gloves and gardening tools provided. Please call 24 hours in advance to sign up. Free. 8:45am. O‘o Farms, (651 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-249-8811; Oofarm.com

HARD ROCK CAFE - Sun, Evan Shulman 7:30-7:30pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com

MAUI LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S - Thu, Jonny Ringo 2-5pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 2-5pm; Mon, Will Hartzag 2-5pm; Tue, Jonny Ringo 2-5pm; Wed, Tori Dixon Band 2-5pm; (672 Front St., Lahiana); 808-667-0988; Captainjacksmaui.com CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE LAHAINA - Thu, Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Fri, Harry Troupe 4:3010:30pm; Sat, Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Sun, Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-10:30pm; Tue, Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Wed, Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com DOWN THE HATCH - Fri, Uncle Lou 5-7pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Peter D and Garrett Probst (Ukulele Boys) 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana 3-5pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Sun, DAMIEN AWAI 6-8:30pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Mon, Danyel Alana 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Tue, Roy Kato and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Wed, Puhi Ko 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; Dukesmaui.com FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Thu, Paul Johnson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Houseshakers 7-9:30pm; Sat, Kona Storm 7-9:30pm; Sun, Ryan Robinson 7-9:30pm; Mon, Steve Sargenti 7-9:30pm; Tue, Houseshakers 7-9:30pm; Tue, Houseshakers 7-9:30pm; Wed, Cole

HULA GRILL - Thu, Kealii Lum and Naiwi Teruya 2-5pm; Thu, Derick Sebastian and Damon Parillo 6-9pm; Fri, Derick Sebastian 11am-1pm; Fri, Maa and Aloha Friday Hula Show 2-5pm; Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Sun, Ma’a 2-5pm; Mon, Ma’a 2-5pm; Mon, Kulewa 6-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6-9pm; Wed, Danyel Alana 2-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636; Hulagrillkaanapali.com JAPENGO - Thu, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Fri, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Sat, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Sun, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Mon, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Tue, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; Wed, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com JAVA JAZZ AND SOUP NUTZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Guest Band and Dancing 7-10pm; Sat, Guest Band and Dancing 7-10pm; Sun, Robbie Ray 7-10pm; Mon, The Soundlab 7-10pm; Tue, Paul Bunuan and Nino Toscano 7-10pm; Wed, Paul Bunuan and Nino Toscano 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; Javajazz.net KIMO’S - Thu, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, JD and Harry 2:30-4:30pm; Sun, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Mon, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Tue, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:309:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700; Lahainapizzacompany.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Josh Kahula and Dave of ‘Nuff Sedd’ 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sun, ‘Kilohana’ Merv Oana and Duane Feig 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret Roback, Josh Kahula and Roy Kato 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com LONGHI’S - Thu, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl 5-7pm; Sat, Steve Grimes and Gang 5-7pm; Tue, Tori Dixon and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com

APRIL 14, 2016 25

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PARADISE GRILL

Juke Box, 10pm

Salsa Dancing w/Rafael, 10pm (upstairs), DJ Illz 10pm (downstairs)

DJ Kai, 10pm

Juke Box, 10pm

MON-Juke Box, 10pm, TUE- Raise The Roof w/ DJ Matt 10pm, WED-Reggae w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR

Free Pool All Day

Jukebox Jangles & Free Pool

Jukebox Jangles & Free Pool

Pool Tournament ($10 buyin) & Jukebox Jangles

MON-Free Bingo 7pm, TUE-Taco Tuesday & Free Pool, WED- Miss Kalai & DJ Stylz White Party, 9pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ LX 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4-6pm, Sunday Night Lounge 10pm

MON - Kanoa 4pm & DJ Big Mike SIN 10pm, TUE - Jon Bowser 4-6pm, WED- Ladies Night Out DJ LX & JayP

Joette & Ted, 6pm

Homestead, 9pm

Homestead, 9pm

Arely & Jay, 4pm Free Pool

MON-Martini Monday, TUE- Free Pool, WED- Whiskey Wed & Karaoke 8pm

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Luna Overdrive, $4 cover

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; $4 cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Louise Lambert Trio, 7:30-10:30pm

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

DJ Wox, 10pm

Alternative Night w/DJ, 10pm

City & Country Band, 9pm

Free Karaoke

TUE- Free Karaoke, WED- Dinner Music 6-8pm

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

928 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4084

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku - 243-9351

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB AND GRILL Thu, Far West 6-9pm; Fri, Codae Music 7-10pm; Mon, Nestor Ugale 6-9pm; (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808; Luluslahaina.com

SOUTH MAUI

MAUIANO’S ITALIAN GRILLE - Fri, Nestor Ugale 6-8pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Mauianos.com

CHEESEBURGER ISLAND STYLE - Thu, Mark Burnett 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brooks Maguire 5:308:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8990.

MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com/kapalua OCEAN POOL BAR AND GRILL - Fri, Live Music 4-7pm; Mon, Live Music 4-7pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Fri, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sat, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sun, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Mon, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Tue, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Wed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-667-1337.

PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Mon, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Tue, Damien Awai 5-8pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com PAU HUAKA’I TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr, Ka‘anapali); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com PIONEER INN GRILL AND BAR - Thu, Greg di Piazza 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Eleniki 6-9pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808661-3636; Pioneerinnmaui.com/grill-bar.htm SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE - Thu, Kincaid Kupahu 8am-5pm; Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 8am-5pm; Sat, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; Sun, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Tue, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com THE CLIFF DIVE GRILL - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:30-8pm; Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Sat, Larry Golis and Hollis Lee 6:30am-8:30pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Tue, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Wed, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com WHALERS VILLAGE - Thu, The Benoits 7-8pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4567; Whalersvillage.com

CAPISCHE - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808-879-2224; Capische.com

DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-6pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299; Diamondsicebar.com DOG AND DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Steve Craig 6-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669; Theworldfamousdogandduck.com GANNON’S - Thu, Classic Rock Live 5-7pm; Fri, Jazz Fridays 5-7pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com HAUI’S LIFE IS A BEACH - Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Tue, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Wed, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010; Mauibars.com KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Thu, Live Music 5-8pm; Fri, Live Music 5-8pm; Sat, Live Music 5-8pm; Sun, Konos Sunset Sunday Dance Party 5-8pm; Sun, Live Music 5-8pm; Tue, Live Music 5-8pm; Wed, Live Music 5-8pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com LUANA LOUNGE AT FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Thu, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Fri, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Sat, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Sun, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Mon, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Tue, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; Wed, Live Entertainment 6-9pm; (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com MAUI BREWING COMPANY KIHEI - Thu, Yum Yum and Sweet Beets 5-8pm; Fri, Louis and Lewis 4-7pm; Sun, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Mon, Johnny Ringo 5-8pm; Tue, Levi Poasa 5-8pm; Wed, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; (605 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-213-3002; Mauibrewingco.com MOLOKINI BAR AND GRILLE MAKENA RESORT - Thu, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Fri, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sat, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sun, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Mon, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Tue, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Wed, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; (5400 Makena Alanui, Wailea); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Dat Guyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Thu, Mike Finkiewicz and Craig Soderberg 7-9pm; Fri, Stay Easy 1-3pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Nako’oka 7-9pm; Sat, T-Flatz and

TUE- Power Up Comedy Tour 9pm, WEDPiano w Katya

The Highlights 1-3pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Mon, Kanoa and Ryan 1-3pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Joshua Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Louis and Lewis 1-3pm; Wed, An Den Duo Damien Awai and Brian Haia 1-3pm; Wed, Alika Nako’oka 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret Roback 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:156:30pm; Wed, Willie K 6:30-8:30pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com PITA PARADISE - Sat, David Wolf 5:30-8pm; Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 6:30-9pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com

luku); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com WATERCRESS - Wed, Live Entertainment 6-8pm; (270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Wailuku); 808-243-9351 WHOLE FOODS MARKET - Fri, Aloha Friday Music 11:30am-2:30pm; (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone and Lenny Castellanos 6:308:30pm; Mon, Charley’s Live Band Open Mic and Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ryan Robinson 6:30-8:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy, Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm; (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808579-8989; Flatbreadcompany.com MAUI YOGA SHALA PAIA - Fri, Kirtan and Mantra Meditation 7-9pm; Wed, Indian Music and Dance 6:30-8:30pm; (381 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-283-4123; Maui-yoga.com

THREE’S BAR AND GRILL - Sat, Live Solo Guitar With Cpt. Dan Saunders 5:30-9pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei); 808-879-3133; Threesbarandgrill.com

CENTRAL MAUI BEACH BUMS BBQ AND GRILL - Thu, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Mike Finkiewicz and Tom Cherry 5-8pm; Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Sun, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Mon, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com CAFE DEL VINO - Thu, Gina Martinelli and Gene Argel 5:30-9pm; Fri, Francois 8am-5pm; Sat, Francois 8am-5pm; Mon, Joe Cano 5:30-9pm; Tue, Gina Martinelli and Gilbert Imata 5:30-9pm; Wed, Tempa and Naor 5:30-9pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.‘); 808-868-0732.

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Thu, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Sat, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Sun, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Tue, Local Live Music 5-8pm; Wed, Local Live Music 5-8pm; (355 E Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Alehouse.net STEEL HORSE SALOON - Thu, Joette and Ted 6-6pm; Sun, Arlie and Jay 4-7pm; (1234 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-245-2206.

THE KING KAMEHAMEHA GOLF CLUB - Thu, The Legendary Willie K And The Warehouse Blues Band 6:30-10pm; Mon, Martini and Jazz 6:30-9:30pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wai-

APRIL 14, 2016 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Let’s take it as a given that, at least to some degree, our perception of “reality” creates that reality. For example, in one of my worst living situations, I lived in a total crack neighborhood with half a dozen speed freaks and all their friends. Their unhealthy relationship with “Tina” seemed to severely and negatively affect their “interface with consensus reality.” What the hell am I talking about? I’m just saying that your current use of constant activity to keep from dealing with the harder stuff in your life is more damaging than an addiction to any hard drug. Slow down, my friend, slow down.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Sometimes you can know too much. Once you understand your own innocence or charm, it ceases to be innocent or charming to everyone else. Escargot, caviar, and honey are more delicious in ignorance than when you consider what they really are. And if you truly think about all the shit that’s going down in the world today, anger, frustration and sadness can be incapacitating. Cease your current attempts to understand or explain your creative process! While I would agree that in most situations, knowledge is power, in this case: the less you know, the better.

Don’t scare the Muse, she doesn’t like it.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

You can sell anything right now. If you can get a person to listen to you for five minutes, you can unload on them, for profit, any number of things you no longer need. Go ahead and try it; you could use the cash, and in my book the gullible are fair game–to some extent. Don’t abuse this power. Make sure that whatever you’re ditching might have some chance of being useful to whoever you’re forcing to pay for it.

You have the ability to make each of these transactions a win-win. Don’t settle for anything but.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

You’ve come to a fork in the Yellow Brick Road, my sweet friend. I’m not concerned with which direction you’ll take, just who you’ll become to get there.

Will you choose to have the sensitive heart of the woodman, the innocence of the girl, the courage of the lion, or the brains of the scarecrow? Or will you continue in your present mode, embodying the misunderstood wickedness of the witch who stands in the way of all the less miserable parts of you? Okay, yeah, I know your life is way more complicated than a fairy tale, but sometimes looking at your choices in that way can be useful. Try it now.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

“The restroom is for customers only,” sniffed the bookstore tyrant. Having bought tea and given their stock a fair perusal, I said, “Yes, may I use it?” “Are you going to buy something?” he inquired, busily dusting the shelves. I restrained a Leo roar and said delicately: “Where’s the key, please?” He sighed and handed me the key, attached to a wooden letter-M. I put it on the edge of the sink. It promptly tumbled into the basin, with the long chain holding the key spilling into the drain. Pulling on the links, it came up easily–sans key. I wasn’t really embarrassed to hand the keyless “M” back to the bitter despot. I just wish I had done it on purpose. This week, don’t resist the urge to push people’s buttons and cause trouble. It’ll happen anyway–you might as well enjoy yourself.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

You’re a talker. Maybe not on the level of those Geminis or Aquarians, but you know how to use your words. What you’re not quite as good at is communicating without them. Reading others’ body language or being aware of what you’re conveying with yours is an important skill to have. Before you open your mouth this week, see what’s already being said, nonverbally, by you and those you’re with. Make sure your handshake and hug come across as warm and personable as you hope they are, and make sure that what you say hasn’t already been said another way.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

The endless repetition of this week may have you feeling like a goldfish in a bowl–stared at, fed the same crap every day, and the same boring scenery along the way. Before you let ennui really take hold, you should know: This is the kind of week you’ll long for in the weeks to come. Soon, your little world may crack, spilling you in a giant wave out to the next big pond. You’ll have to say goodbye forever to the relatively tiny, safe world you’ve occupied for years. This vision of your future might excite or terrify you. Until it happens, though, try to be surprised by the little plastic castle the next few times it comes around. You’ll miss it when it’s gone.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: B–Senator Brian Schatz 2: A–Dr. John Fisher, scientific director of Keystone Laboratories 3: E–Tommy

YOGA & MOVEMENT STUDIO

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

You might be horrified to discover that the captivating person who’s recently taken an interest in you is probably attracted to what you consider your worst feature. Yup, that crooked nose, unruly hair, your penchant for altered mind states (to put it tactfully), your introversion. These are all potentially compelling to those prepared to see them holistically. The due date for self-acceptance is coming up, and Cutie’s there to help you feel proud of your least favorite part. You’ve already acknowledged the double-edged sword of your “good” qualities, like your intelligence, or beauty.

Now realize that even your faults have virtue.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Watch out for bigots, because for some reason they’ll be magnetized towards you this week. Not only that, but they’ll be compelled to loudly proclaim their offensive and backwards viewpoints in your presence, in such a way that you’ll be obliged to refute or counter them, lest onlookers lump you in with such idiocy. Of course, that’s exactly what these assholes want. Don’t engage with them, if at all possible. Just shake your head and walk away. If you find you’ve got to open your mouth before you leave them to their stupidity, try to keep from getting emotionally involved–stay cool and stick to the facts, which as we both know, speak for themselves.

BEGINNERS YOGA CLASSES MONDAYS 4:45-6PM 8 WEEK SERIES MARCH 7 - APRIL 25

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Capricorns make good bosses, but you can also be immensely valuable employees. This week, regardless of which role you play, take advantage of the harmonious interchanges you’re capable of right now. That means that if you’ve got some tricky questions or requests that you’ve been putting off, now’s the time to make them, since it’ll be easy-peasy, no sweat. Get that raise, or convince one of your coworkers to finally start pulling their own weight. One more minor incentive, in case you’re still daunted from getting real with those you work with: if you really go there, you might even get laid, as a bonus.

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AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Be hedonistic. The array of new experiences available to you is unfolding wildly in all directions. You’ve suddenly got access to flavors you never even knew existed before. Don’t stick to your old favorites out of timidity. They’ll always be there. Try the new shit, the pistachio chocolate hot pepper or the ginger pumpkin pie ice creams, rather than plain old vanilla. It’s not often that such a buffet of life’s richness is laid out before you. To snub it for the comfort of your armchair and bag of chips would be rude, idiotic and ultimately lame.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Who says artists can’t get rich? Prove any idiot who claims that wrong. Okay, you might not achieve Trump-level wealth with your creative ventures, but you have a chance to make a few bucks now by doing what you love. I can’t imagine a single good reason why you’d abstain. Dreaming is all very well and good, but don’t let this opportunity slip through your fingers because you’re stuck in a fantasy. Get busy. You’ll always have a chance to dream, but the moment when you can earn some dough from it is right now. Seize it.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

APRIL 14, 2016 29

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APRIL 14, 2016 31

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