20.44 Happy Animals Maui Humane Society April 13, 2017, Volume 20, Issue 44, MauiTime

APRIL 13, 2017 ✚ VOLUME 20

CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE SINCE 1997

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ISSUE 44 ✚ FREE

HAPPY ANIMALS

Maui Humane Society has improved dramatically in recent years.

Here's how.

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Maui Tacos was the first Fast Casual Mexican restaurant in the Islands, founded by famed Pacific Rim Chef, Mark Ellman. The first store opened in Napili Bay in 1993, fusing the bold flavors of Mexico with the exotic taste of Hawaii to create “Maui-Mex.” Everything is made fresh to order and served in a fun FastCasual Format with the spirit of Aloha.

CEO, Jeff Endervelt stated “We are excited by the opportunities afforded us having a 25 year history here in Hawaii and having served guests from around the World. This has given our Brand worldwide exposure and a global fanbase.” Investor interest has increased lately as Fast Casual restaurants continue to dominate the new restaurant landscape.

Brought on to franchise the concept; VP of Development, Alonzo Botta expects to begin opening new restaurants on the Mainland and across the World later this year.

The Company owns and operates 8 restaurants on Oahu, Maui and the Big Island. MAUI TACOS is now accepting franchise applications throughout the states and internationally.

Contents VOLUME 20 ✚ ISSUE 44

What’s your favorite animal?

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Lemmings

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Dogs and Cats Advertising Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 283-3260 / sarah@mauitime.com Hammah Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Heffalumps and Woozles Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter

CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE SINCE 1997

APRIL 13, 2017 ✚ VOLUME 20

✚

ISSUE 44 ✚ FREE

Mahalo to Jerleen Bryant and the rest of staff at the Maui Humane Society.

HAPPY ANIMALS

Photo By: Sean M Hower howerphoto.com Cover Design By: Darris Hurst

Maui Humane Society has improved dramatically in recent years.

Here's how.

PG.10

SMALL KINE

FINE

4 10 13 19 20 21 22 23 28 29 31

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CANNABIS OPEN HOUSE

EASTER PG.7

BUFFETS

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NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com My Dog Contributors: Jenn Brown (Johnny Depp), Caeriel Crestin, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Foster Modesette, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shan@mauitime.com Cats Proofreader: Dina Wilson

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News & Views

Dr. Erin Elster, D.C., Upper Cervical Chiropractor

QUIZ understood

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by Anthony Pignataro

2. On April 10, Pacific Business News reported that the $354 million redevelopment of the Makena Resort could start next year. According to the story, when would it be complete?

A. 2020 B. 2021 C. 2022 D. 2023 E. 2024

Dr. Erin Elster, D.C.

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The County of Maui finally reopened Kepaniwai Park on Monday, April 10 after it was severely damaged by a flood.

When did it close?

A. August 2016 B. September 2016 C. October 2016 D. November 2016 E. December 2016

3. On April 7, the County of Maui closed the restrooms and showers at this beach park because of “excessive water leakage.” Which beach park was it?

A. Kamaole Beach Park B. Ho‘okipa Beach Park C. D.T. Fleming Beach Park D. Kanaha Beach Park E. Baldwin Beach Park See answers, page 29

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APRIL 13, 2017

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless PHOTO COURTESY REP. JUSTIN WOODSON

to the fundraiser. We understand that this form was filed after the fundraiser.”

That being said, the CSC only fined Woodson a mere $25. A CSC official also told me that they haven’t yet received a reply from Woodson. This didn’t surprise me, because Woodson also didn’t reply to my email asking for comment.

GABBARD AND SYRIA

Justin Woodson

REP. WOODSON GETS SMALL KINE FINE

Execution?

Does Gabbard have any idea what she’s talking about? The ICC’s charter expressly forbids the court from imposing the death penalty. Here’s an excerpt from a United Nations webpage on what the ICC can and can’t do that makes this pretty clear: “Consistent with international human rights standards, the International Criminal Court has no competence to impose a death penalty,” states the UN. “The Court can impose lengthy terms of imprisonment of up to 30 years or life when so justified by the gravity of the case. The Court may, in addition, order a fine, forfeiture of proceeds, property or assets derived from the committed crime.

“Deterrence is not just effected by the death penalty. Deterrence is brought about by the entire criminal justice process from investigation, followed by prosecution, trial, delivery of the judgement, sentencing and punishment. The publicity associated with a trial will have an additional deterrent effect.”

Thankfully, you’ll soon have a chance to ask Gabbard in person what she was thinking when she issued this statement.

PHOTO COURTESY OFFICE OF TULSI GABBARD

I love following the Hawaii Campaign Spending Commission (CSC)’s Twitter account (it’s @hicsc). They don’t tweet all the time, but when they do it’s usually to announce the existence of new campaign reports or candidate fundraiser notices. And sometimes, they’ll post a document that shows a local public official messed up.

Such was the case on Wednesday, Apr. 5, when the CSC posted a tweet saying that “Representative Justin Woodson [D–Kahului] files Notice for 3/21/17 fundraiser.” Now I’ve seen fundraiser notices–which are supposed to be filed with the CSC before the actual fundraiser– posted after the fact. And this particular fundraiser was sadly typical of Maui legislators: though Woodson’s district is limited to Kahului, his fundraiser took place at Mandalay Restaurant in Honolulu (undoubtedly to be closer to all the lobbyists gathered for the Hawaii legislative session, which is going on right now).

But Woodson’s fundraiser notice had an additional surprise: the date at the bottom next to Woodson’s signature was April 4, 2017– meaning that Woodson’ didn’t send it to the CSC until two full weeks after the fundraiser.

Legally, a candidate or official can file these notices with the CSC right up to the day of the actual fundraiser (which meets the letter of the law but grossly violates the spirit of the law, but whatever). Ironically, that’s what Rep. Kaniela Ing, D–South Maui, did. In fact, Ing held his own fundraiser at the same location and on the same date as Woodson, but he filed his Notice of Intent on March 21.

Needless to say, the CSC wasn’t pleased.

“We understand that your committee held a fundraiser on March 21, 2017 for which the price or suggested contribution for attending the event was more than $25 per person,” stated an April 5, 2017 letter from CSC Executive Director Kristin E. IzumiNitao to Woodson. “Pursuant to Hawaii Revised Statutes (“HRS”) §11-342, a “Notice of Intent to Hold a Fundraiser” form should have been filed with the Commission prior

So on April 6 President Donald Trump learned that if you lob a few dozen cruise missiles at a Syrian military base without first consulting Congress or forming an international coalition of partners (though he did apparently tipped off the Russians ahead of time), then pundits, blowhards and even many Democrats will blather on about how “presidential” he looks even though he continues to put the screws to Syrian refugees trying to escape the hellhole that is their country.

Yes, Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad is a barbarian and a war criminal. He’s repeatedly dropped nerve gas on his own people (Trump’s ostensible reason for last night’s attack) and needs to face justice.

But unilateral missile attacks that lack both congressional oversight and authorization aren’t the way to do it.

“No one disputes that Bashar al-Assad’s use of chemical weapons on Syrian civilians is illegal, immoral, and unacceptable,” ACLU National Security Project Director Hina Shamsi wrote on April 7. “But Assad’s illegality does not excuse illegality in response… President Trump has unilaterally launched strikes against a country that has not attacked us, and without any authorization from Congress. Doing so violates some of the most important legal constraints on the use of force.”

Not long after Trump launched his missiles, Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, D–Hawaii, who has repeatedly spoken against U.S. military action in Syria and even visited Assad in January, released a very strange statement of her views on the attack. Here it is, in full: “It angers and saddens me that President Trump has taken the advice of war hawks and escalated our illegal regime change war to overthrow the Syrian government,” Gabbard said. “This escalation is short-sighted and will lead to more dead civilians, more

refugees, the strengthening of al-Qaeda and other terrorists, and a possible nuclear war between the United States and Russia.

“This Administration has acted recklessly without care or consideration of the dire consequences of the United States attack on Syria without waiting for the collection of evidence from the scene of the chemical poisoning. If President Assad is indeed guilty of this horrible chemical attack on innocent civilians, I will be the first to call for his prosecution and execution by the International Criminal Court. However, because of our attack on Syria, this investigation may now not even be possible. And without such evidence, a successful prosecution will be much harder.”

Whoa. Let’s unpack this a bit. Gabbard opposes Trump’s missile strikes because it could lead to war with Russia–got it. But that bit about how Assad might not be responsible for the recent sarin nerve gas attack is strange. Most governments around the world (but not Russia, of course) are pretty clear in their view that Assad’s regime has used sarin before, and most likely used it again recently.

Tulsi Gabbard at a recent town hall

But then she says this, which is just plain wild: “If President Assad is indeed guilty of this horrible chemical attack on innocent civilians, I will be the first to call for his prosecution and execution by the International Criminal Court.”

Overheard “We so have to post these so they can see them in Canada.”

-Girl at Shops of Wailea, April 9

On April 3, she announced that she’ll hold a (rare) series of town hall meetings throughout the Second District. Here’s her schedule for Maui County: • LANAI: Thursday, April 13, 4:456:30pm at the Lanai Senior Center (309 Seventh St., Lanai City) • MOLOKAI: Monday, April 17, 4:306pm at the Mitchell Pauole Center (90 Ainoa St., Kaunakakai) • MAUI: Thursday, April 20, 7:30-9pm at the Maui Tropical Plantation (1670 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu) We’re guessing there won’t be a shortage of questions for Gabbard. But keep in mind that if you plan to attend one of these meetings, Gabbard’s office insists that you RSVP at least one day ahead of time at Gabbard.house.gov/townhall. ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro, Foster Modesette, & Suzanne Kayian

PHOTO COURTESYMAUI GROWN THERAPIES

MauiSphere

Maui Grown Therapies office in Maui Lani

MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY HOLDS OPEN HOUSE

-Foster Modesette

PACIFIC PRIMATE SANCTUARY WINS NONPROFIT AWARD AGAIN Pacific Primate Sanctuary was named a 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit for the fourth year in a row. The kudos come courtesy of GreatNonprofits, the leading provider of user reviews of charities and nonprofits.

Maui-based PPS is an entirely volunteer, nonprofit refuge dedicated to the protection of threatened and endangered rainforest monkeys. Many of the primates have been rescued from laboratories, the pet trade, and tourist attractions. PPS provides a place of peace and rehabilitation, creating naturalistic habitats where primates can begin to recover from the trauma and abuse they have suffered. The monkeys are nurtured with dedicated care and provided an abundance of organically grown food

-Suzanne Kayian

NEW ELMER CRAVALHO INTERVIEW SURFACES In a way, former Hawaii House Speaker and Maui Mayor Elmer Cravalho, who died in June 2016 at the age of 90, has returned from the grave. Apparently, Cravalho recorded a video interview back in 2014

with Maui District Superintendent of Education Darrell Oishi. According to the April. 8 Maui News, Cravalho forbade the airing of that video until after his death.

Well, now you can see it. In fact, you can watch it on Oceanic cable channel 354 (digital channel 27.55) at 8pm or 11pm every Saturday and Sunday during April. You can also stream it live by going to Maui.hawaii.edu.

The program is part of the University of Hawaii Maui College’s Preserving our Recollections series. Given the importance of Cravalho’s political life, which included both Hawaiian statehood and the introduction of a modern mayorship in Maui County–as well as numerous secrets Cravalho took to his grave–I had high hopes for the interview.

Until I watched it, that is. About 50 minutes long, the interview (which suffered from severe static during much of its running time) covers virtually no new ground with respect to Cravalho. Oishi spends his time tossing Cravalho the softest of softball questions, many of which have to do with the development of UH Maui College and the Kula Credit Union, which Cravalho helped found back in 1954. The interview contains no information whatsoever on Cravalho’s ties to the ILWU that proved so hot in the 1950s that the U.S. Army spied on him, his machinations that led to him becoming House Speaker in 1958, the strange blackmail scandal that embroiled him in 1972, his mysterious 1979 resignation or his surprising decision to run for mayor again in 1990.

In all, the biggest mystery of the program is why Cravalho didn’t want it to air while he was alive. Still, given that there isn’t a lot of footage of Cravalho around, the interview is still worth watching.

-Anthony Pignataro ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

PHOTO COURTESY HONOLULU STAR ADVERTISER

Saturday, April 8 was the first of two open houses that Maui Grown Therapies will hold at its soon-to-be-open location in the Maui Lani Center.

The new location looks a lot like a regular doctor’s office, with a waiting area (known as the “Ocean Room”) featuring calming music and magazines for clients’ reading pleasure. The rooms were all hardwood floored, decorated with high-resolution photos of marijuana, and the whole place was very zen. In fact, it felt like a spa.

But once you get past the first room, there are a few features you won’t find in your regular medical office.

The second staging area has a glass window where clients will present their medical marijuana license to the attendant. This hallway is fitted with a lockdown system, which can remotely barricade the doors in case of a robbery. The entire building is also covered with bulletproof glass.

After the card has been recognized as valid, the client is welcomed into the next area; a physician’s office where the staff and doctors take you through the different strains of cannabis available, as well as their differing usages. All of the Maui Grown Therapies’ plants are grown on island and tested by third party labs for their terpenes, CBD and THC levels, thus creating a chemical profile for each “bud” to match the patient’s needs.

After decisions on medicine have been made, the client is walked into the fourth and final area of the facility–the green room. This is where all the different marijuana capsules, oils, flowers, lozenges, creams, tinctures and buds will be kept– again, it’s all protected by bulletproof glass.

During the open house, the staff played a short video for the guests that detailed the list of doctors and scientists working as part of their team. Donald Abrams, M.D., chief of Hematology and Oncology

at San Francisco General Hospital recently joined the medical advisory team and cannabis expert Michael Backes– author of Cannabis Therapy: The Practical Guide to Medical Marijuana–will train staff on the array of medicinal uses for cannabis.

During the open house, the team at Maui Grown Therapies made one point very clear: this is not a head shop. They insist that this is a completely legitimate medical establishment specializing in the wide variety of benefits available through cannabis therapy.

The majority of the attendees were seniors or people with physical ailments. The staff also mentioned the clinic would not sell edibles–brownies, cookies, etc.–but if it suites the needs of a patient, the clinic will offer helpful advice on how to make edibles at home.

The next, and final open house will be on April 22, 2017. The clinic itself will open sometime this summer.

and forage in an ideal subtropical climate.

“At all times, the facilities and care provided [at PPS] have far exceeded USDA regulations and standards,” said USDA Federal Veterinary Medical Offer Dr. Elizabeth Lyons; Lyons has been inspecting the facility for her entire career– nearly 25 years. “I would like to express my profound gratitude and appreciation for the work done here,” she said. “It has been my pleasure to observe the growth and change, which continue to benefit and enhance all primates (humans included) associated with this special sanctuary.”

GreatNonprofits is the leading website where people share stories about their personal experiences with more than 1.2 million charities and nonprofits. The TopRated Nonprofit Award is the based on the rating and number of reviews that the Sanctuary received from volunteers, donors and aid recipients. The GreatNonprofits Top-Rated Awards are the only awards for nonprofits determined by those who have direct experience with the charities – as donors, volunteers and recipients of aid.

“Pacific Primate Sanctuary is a great example of a nonprofit making a real difference in the community,” said Perla Ni, CEO of GreatNonprofits. “Their award is [a] well-deserved recognition not only of their work, but the tremendous support they receive, as shown by the many outstanding reviews they have received from people who have direct experience working with Pacific Primate Sanctuary.”

For the complete list of 2017 Top Rated Nonprofits visit Greatnonprofits.org.

Elmer Cravalho

APRIL 13, 2017

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News & Views

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China’s public-park restrooms have for years suffered toilet-paper theft by local residents who raid dispensers for their own homes (a cultural habit, wrote Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post, expressing taxpayer feelings of “owning” public facilities), but the government recently fought back with technology. At Beijing’s popular Temple of Heaven park, dispensers now have facial-recognition scanners beside the six toilets, with pre-cut paper (about 24 inches long) issued only to users who pose for a picture. (Just one slug of paper can be dispensed to the same face in a nine-minute period, catastrophic for the diarrhea-stricken and requiring calling an attendant to override the machine.)

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES The church-state “wall” leaks badly in Spindale, North Carolina, according to former members of the Word of Faith Fellowship (reported in February by the Associated Press). Two state prosecutors (one a relative of the church’s founder), in nearby Burke and Rutherford counties, allegedly coached Fellowship members and leaders how to neutralize government investigations into church “abuse”– coaching that would violate state law and attorney ethical standards. Fellowship officials have been accused of beating “misbehaving” congregants, including children, in order to repel their demons.

(Among the Fellowship’s edicts revealed in the AP report: All dating, marriages and procreation subject to approval; no wedding-night intimacy beyond a “godly” cheek kiss; subsequent marital sex limited to 30 minutes, no foreplay, lights off, missionary position.)

APRIL 13, 2017

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW Police and prosecutors in Williamsburg, Virginia, are absolutely certain that Oswaldo Martinez raped and killed a teenage girl in 2005, but, though he was quickly arrested, they have–12 years later–not even put him on trial.

Martinez, then 33, is still apparently, genuinely (i.e., not faking) deaf, illiterate and almost mute, and besides that, the undocumented Salvadoran immigrant has such limited intelligence that test after test has shown him incapable of understanding his legal rights, and therefore “incompetent” to stand trial. (Police made multiple “slam dunk” findings of Martinez’s DNA on the victim’s body and also linked Martinez via a store camera to the very bottle of juice left at the crime scene.)

EYEWITNESS NEWS On the morning of March 20 in Winter Park, Florida, Charles Howard, standing outside his home being interviewed live by a WFTV reporter, denied he had committed a crime in a widely reported series of voicemail messages to a U.S. Congressman, containing threats to “wrap a rope around your neck and hang you from a lamp post.” He boasted that “proof” of his having done nothing wrong was that if he had, he would have already been arrested. “Three minutes later,” according to the reporter, agents drove up and arrested Howard.

HEY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE ‘REMORSE’

In March, vibrator customers were awarded up to $10,000 each in their class-action “invasion of privacy” lawsuit against the company Standard Innovation, whose We-Vibe model’s smartphone app collected intimate data (vibrator temperature and motor intensity) that could be associated with particular customers–and which were easily hackable, and controllable, by anyone nearby with a Bluetooth connection. The Illinois federal court limited the award to $199 for anyone who bought the vibrator but did not activate the app.

Royce Atkins, 23, told the judge in Northampton County (Pennsylvania) in March that he was so sorry he did not stop his car in 2015 and help that nine-year-old boy he had just hit and killed. However, Atkins had earlier been jailhouse-recorded viciously trash-talking the boy’s family for “reacting like they’re the victims. What about my family? My family is the victim, too.” (Atkins got a four-year sentence.) And in February, in a Wayne County (Michigan) court during sentencing for a DUI driver who had killed a man and severely injured his fiancee, Judge Qiana Lillard kicked the driver’s mother out of the courtroom for laughing at the victim’s sister who was tearfully addressing the judge.

(Lillard sentenced the mother to 93 days for contempt, but later reduced it to one day).

PERSPECTIVE

THE ARISTOCRATS!

The U.S. House of Representatives, demonstrating particular concern for military veterans, enhanced vets’ civil rights in March by removing a source of delay in gun purchases.

A 2007 law had required all federal agencies to enter any mentally-ill clients into the National Instant Criminal Background Check database for gun purchases, but the new bill exempts veterans (including, per VA estimates, 19,000 schizophrenics and 15,000 with “se-

Among the facts revealed in the ongoing criminal proceedings against U.S. Navy officials and defense contractor Leonard (“Fat Leonard”) Francis, who is charged with arranging kickbacks: In 2007, Francis staged a party for the officials at the Shangri-La Hotel in the Philippines during which (according to an indictment unsealed in March) “historical memorabilia related to General Douglas MacArthur were used by the participants in sexual acts.” ■

THE BEDROOM OF TOMORROW

8

vere” post-traumatic stress syndrome). (An average of a dozen veterans a day in recent times have committed suicide with guns.)

RIP DD Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 16 S. Market St, Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

E

h brah, way to make a scene at the resort pool the other day by yelling at the slide attendant. All she was doing was telling your kids to stay out of the part of the pool where riding the slide drops into. But clearly, her crime was apparently caring about your kids more than you do. But you showed her! “I don’t do rules!” you yelled at her in front of pretty much everyone at the resort. “No one dictates what I do when I’m on vacation!” Please, go back to Jersey or wherever it is that big dumbasses who hate women come from. ■

If you’ve driven through Lahaina, you’ve probably seen the van with the huge banner, “We are Not!!! In The Last Days.” Or on the side of the Honoapiilani Hwy., the rusted bike with the same bulletin.

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

DREW TOONZ

BY ANDREW MILLER

If you’ve lived on the west side long enough; you’ve probably even met the man behind this uplifting message. To many he was Dangerous Dave (DD), an infamous surfer in the 70’s and 80’s - part of the old school Honolua Bay crew. To others he was a spiritual leader and friend, and for a few of the island’s homeless, Dave Warren was a guardian who took them in when they needed it the most.

DD passed away last Monday, due to stage-four liver cancer, in his home under his prized mango trees, with his friends and family surrounding him.

Since his passing, Facebook epitaphs have gained hundreds of likes and comments sharing memories and wishing this Maui legend the best on the other side – “in dat neva ending barrel in da sky,” as a friend, Mano Ka’eo put it.

Though DD had many friends, in his Ànal days he kept his disease mostly to himself, never one to push his own grief on others, he truly had the best interests of others in mind.

“He was a big guy and could scare the shit out of you with his scowl, but once you got to know Dave he was a man with a gentle heart, that deep down loved people and of course Jesus,” said Jack Starr, in a Facebook post.

Renae and Mark Anderson said they would never forget seeing his white van at surf stops, his tips on gardening, wonderful company and storytelling.

“When he turned religious he still had his good humour and funny chuckle.

One of the original Lahaina characters, he truly will be missed. May he rest in love, and surf the skies with angels,” wrote the Andersons.

“His calling was to help guys that went through rough patches, disabled people, those that battled with alcoholism. He gave them a safe place as long as they paid their rent and didn’t smoke or use drugs,” said Sara Riley, a family friend.

“He was like their spiritual leader, he tried to make them remember how awesome life was. He really believed in his religion, and he did what he could. (In the end) He was going to die and he was okay with it.”

DD will forever be remembered in the hearts of Maui residents.

QUESTIONS, COMMENTS OR IDEAS? EMAIL NORTHSHORECARTOON@GMAIL.COM

Public services are planned for June of this year.

APRIL 13, 2017

9

HAPPY ANIMALS

Maui Humane Society has improved dramatically in recent years. Here’s how.

Story By Alex Mitchell • Photos By Sean M Hower

M

y first visit to the Maui Humane Society (MHS) happened around 2003. I remember that I was a bit shocked, and my overall impression was that I expected more. The staff was friendly and obviously passionate about animals, but it seemed more like a dog pound than a “humane society.” The facilities appeared to need significant upgrades from the parking lot to the reception area; all outside areas to throughout all animal kennels. It seemed disorganized, short-staffed and in need of lots of help. I wasn’t alone in these thoughts–critics across the County

10 APRIL 13, 2017

complained about what MHS wasn’t doing, or what they could be doing better. There was also a widespread belief that they were too quick to euthanize stray animals (MauiTime itself reported on one especially troubling euthanization back in 2004). In fact, when my dog Bandido was cremated there in 2008, some friends even wondered if his ashes were actually his ashes. I believe they were, but still…

Times have changed–dramatically so.

In fact, the Maui Humane Society has improved so much so in recent years that other local animal welfare organizations have taken notice.

“Under the new leadership at MHS, they have sought out the support within our community extensively,” said Scott Sanchez, owner of Sit Means Sit Hawaii Dog Training. “We have been able to share our experience in dealing with high energy, reactive and aggressive dogs. We’ve also been able to help teach the MHS handlers and animal control officers to keep the dogs, handler’s, family members and officers safe during interactions.”

Even officials with longtime MHS critics, like Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF), say they’re now dealing with essentially a new organization.

“We appreciate our improved relations with the Maui Humane Society and value the opportunity to partner with them in all efforts to save more animal lives,” said Dawn Hall, HARF’s Executive Director.

I recently had an opportunity to sit down with Jerleen Bryant, who was appointed CEO of MHS back in 2014. I toured the MHS facilities and learned more about their newer programs. I was aware that they were in the process of launching a new logo, and had recently read about the $258,000 grant they received from PetSmart Charities to expand their veterinarian clinic.

Enforcement Department so that they can better achieve faster response times for animal emergency calls, while greatly decreasing complaints from the community; • Launched 24-Hour Humane Enforcement coverage on Maui; • Brought on a second full-time High QualityHigh Volume (HQHV) Veterinarian; • Implemented a dog play group program for shelter dogs; PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

• Brought national trainers from Dogs Play For Life to train staff and volunteers; • Constructed six grass exercise/play yards and a 17,000-sq. ft. agility field; • Secured private funding for 24-hr surveillance cameras with recording capabilities.

Jerleen Bryant and friend enjoying the new agility dog park

Upon arrival, I checked in with their reception desk. While I was waiting (I was early), I watched a family filling out paperwork to adopt a dog. The staff seemed attentive, and the office appeared fully stocked with their cute branded merchandise: t-shirts, hats and more. Soothing music played in the background. I noticed that the waiting room furnishings had been updated, and new signs advertising their animal welfare programs–Wings of Aloha, MASH clinics, Agility Clinics, Dog Licensing–adorned the walls. They even had a cool “Wheel of Fortune” game on the wall in which adopters could win a waiver of their adoption fees. The office was clean, positive, well-managed and inviting.

Maui Humane Society has always had a challenging job. Besides the day-to-day sheltering, adopting of animals and humane enforcement, they have a responsibility to educate and communicate with the Maui community. That sounds deceptively easy.

Their services are invaluable, but that just means they need a lot of assistance, including monetary donations and grants.

Since Bryant took over as CEO of the Maui Humane Society (her previous job there had been Development Director), the organization has been making steady improvements to their management, facility, operations, community outreach and animal welfare programs. Bryant had an extensive background in animal welfare that started by being raised in a family that was passionate about caring for animals.

She spent more than 25 years training dogs, worked with numerous Humane Societies on the West Coast and founded a dog rescue organization in Oregon. Bryant told me that her position at MHS allows her to do what she’s good at–“improving processes, efficiency and quality of service coupled with helping animals.”

Just a few months after her promotion, in November 2014, Bryant held a twoday Strategic Planning Workshop with her management team. Those two days proved to be more than just an operational turnaround for MHS, but also like a rebirth.

First organized in 1953, Maui Humane Society incorporated in 1962, and won two animal management contracts from Maui County in 1987 for sheltering and humane enforcement. Other than the two

county contracts, MHS relies on private donations and grants.

During Bryant’s workshop, the management team analyzed every aspect of MHS. From their assessments, they chose a variety of areas to focus efforts on, with the most critical and top priority being an increase in their Live Release Rate (LRR) efforts. The LRR represents what percentage of animal lives are saved. In the animal sheltering world, Live Release is the absolute goal. It represents the quantitative results of the animals that leave the shelter happy and alive, versus the animals that end up euthanized.

For MHS, LRR represents the animals that are adopted, re-united with their owners or part of their adoption transfer program, Wings of Aloha. Prior to Fiscal Year 2014, the Maui Humane Society’s LRR was approximately 31 percent for tame cats and 65 percent for dogs. The rate for dogs was at least positive–for cats, though, the end result was that the shelter killed nearly seven out of every 10 cats they received.

But by Fiscal Year 2016, those numbers were very different. MHS says their LRR had risen to 57 percent for tame cats and 84 percent for dogs. Through January of this year, the LRR has risen even further: 67 percent for tame cats and 90.5 percent for dogs. The numbers continue to increase. This morningMarch LRR rates were released with 76.8 percent for tame cats and and 93.4 percent for dogs.

The reason? Bryant and her managers had instituted a wide range of improvements to MHS. Here are a few:

Grants and donations have also been coming in. There was a $95,000 private donation to provide funding for a dog kennel remodel project. MHS also solicited and received $318,000 in private funding to launch a high-quality-high-volume sterilization campaign for tame cats and dogs (MASH), as well as a $258,000 grant from PetSmart Charities to expand the veterinarian clinic by 700 square feet.

Dr. Miyasaki-Kim was, until recently, the only veterinarian at MHS. Her work at the Humane Society began two decades ago, but she used the word “amazing” when describing recent changes there.

“Twenty years ago, I worked part-time doing about eight surgeries a day and we were just providing basic care for our animals,” she told me. “With our new surgery expansion, we are now hoping to perform between 25 to 35 or more surgeries a day, and we’re able to take care of the many problems that our animals arrive with in addition to providing for their basic needs.

We are removing tumors, doing dentals with major extractions, repairing hernias, treating chronic skin conditions and basically giving our animals their best chance at adoption and finding their forever home. Previously, many of these animals would not have had a chance at getting adopted due to the extent of their problems and the high cost of treating them.”

I couldn’t help but notice that MiyasakiKim was beaming with joy when talking about recent improvements.

“When you walk around the shelter you

see happy animals that can participate in play group sessions in our new grassy play yards, or enjoy one-on-one time with their dog walkers,” she said. “Cats have more spacious housing, and the cat building is often filled with visitors enjoying their time with the cats there. We have more foster families and volunteers to help us than ever before. The shelter is a happy place and it is infectious!”

Kelly Maguire has also been employed by the Maui Humane Society for a long time. Her official title is Vet Tech Supervisor, but she’s also the MASH Medical Coordinator and the TNRM Trapper/ Coordinator (though MHS no longer tattoos animals, Maguire had innovated their famous heart tattoos. She’s also the staffer who microchips animals).

“I have been at MHS for 24 years, and I’ve seen so many changes,” Maguire said.

“The community has grown with us and we are at an amazing and exciting place today- both with the community and our organization. We used to be more of reaction based organization many years ago mainly due to funding and community education and awareness. Now we’re aggressively pro-active. Instead of simply trying to react to the overwhelming amount of animals that pour into our shelter every single day, we actively try to prevent those animals from coming in.

We offer education, assistance, solutions and free spay and neuter. We are out in our community, helping in various ways that have made huge strides in having our community feel like they have tools and solutions in times of need. We have leadership that does everything in their power to find grants and funding so that we can have the tools we need and the life-saving programs we use to help our animals that desperately need it. It’s a wonderful environment to work in. We truly feel like we are making more of a difference in animal lives than ever before.”

For more information about the MHS, including how to donate money, volunteer, drop off pet supplies and their great Beach Buddies program that allows you to take one of their dogs to the beach, go to Mauihumanesociety.org. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

• Converted the previous antiquated shelter management systems to the more modern Petpoint database, which allows for integration with the MHS website for timely posting of adoptable animals. It allows for better internal communication between departments, improved reporting capabilities and better tracking of all MHS programs; • Installed new telephone and internet systems; • Established a multi-department committee tasked with evaluating animals that require additional resources to facilitate positive outcomes that meets weekly; • Established protocols for the Humane

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

APRIL 13, 2017

11

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How to Celebrate Easter on Maui GANNON’S - Sun. Apr 16. Easter Brunch with spectacular views. Featuring omelette, salad, carving and dessert stations. Cost is $48 per person and includes coffee, tea, iced tea and soda, $19.95 for keiki ages 6-9. Call to reserve space. 9am. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com PHOTO COURTESY PIXABAY

MONTAGE KAPALUA BAY - Sun. Apr 16.

Paintbox will be hosting a complimentary Easter egg scramble, bunny appearance, egg dye and more. Cane and Canoe will serve elevated menu selections or a buffet dinner, offering a chilled seafood display, carving, dessert and children’s stations. Or reserve the Kapalua Cliff House for an intimate holiday experience.

9am. (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/kapalua-bay

Hot Easter Chicks Spring is here, and that means it’s time for Easter. Here’s a rundown on every special event that’s bunny, brunch and/or Easter egg-related that’s happening on Maui.

MAUI ORCHID SOCIETY EASTER EXHIBIT - Thu. Apr 13 - Sat. Apr 15. 9am. (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com QUEEN KA‘AHUMANU CENTER - Thu. Apr 13 - Sat. Apr 15. Hop along and get your professional photographs with Easter Bunny.

10am-9pm. (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter. com KEAWAKAPU BEACH - Sat. Apr 15. Easter egg hunting is not just for kids! Certified divers who want to get in on the action may join the 17th annual underwater Easter egg hunt. Advance sign-ups required, visit the shop, call or go online. 8am. (Maui Dreams Dive Co., 1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-5332; Mauidreamsdiveco.com WEST MAUI CREATE - Sat. Apr 15. Children ages 3-14 will have a fun and creative Easter with an Egg Art Workshop. From 9-10am, ages 3-5 will paint and washi tape jumbo Easter eggs. From 10:30am-12pm, ages 6-9 will get a chance to get messy learning to marble eggs and paper with dyes and shaving cream. From 12:30-2:30pm, ages 10-14 will learn about, and get to experiment with, the fascinating and beautiful Polish art of Pysanky egg etching. Class sizes are limited, register online. $25-35. (Maui Preparatory Academy, 4910 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6659966; Westmauicreate.com

MAUI HUMANE SOCIETY - Sat. Apr 15. Come and celebrate Freddie the Tortoise’s 14th Birthday. The fun, family event will include an Easter egg hunt for the keiki’s (bring your own basket), with birthday cake to follow. They will also have a keiki zone with crafts and other fun activities. Free.

11am. (1350 Mehameha Lp., Puunene); 808-8773680; Mauihumanesociety.org

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON - Sun. Apr 16. Open for Easter brunch with their famous bloody mary bar. 7am-1pm.

(142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com KA‘ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL - Sun. Apr 16.

Chef Tom Muromoto has created a delicious brunch menu inspired by the local flavors of Hawaii to complement the day’s festivities. It includes a cold seafood bar, carving station, salad and entrées sections as well as a keiki station.

Keikis will also enjoy a petting farm, face painting, Easter themed arts and crafts, live Hawaiian entertainment and an Easter egg hunt in the courtyard. Tickets are $55.95 for adults, $29 for keiki ages 6-12. 7am. (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0124; Kbhmaui.com KA‘ANAPALI BEACH CLUB - Sun. Apr 16.

Enjoy an Easter brunch buffet that features a wide variety of brunch options. There will be a seafood, salad, omelet, soup and sweets station and more. Call for reservations. 8am. (104 Ka‘anapali Shores); 1-800-438-2929.

KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Sun. Apr 16.

Enjoy an Easter Brunch Buffet with french toast, bacon, Portuguese sausage, ham, spinach and cheese frittata, fried rice, Potatoes O’Brien, fresh fruit, omelette and salad stations, deserts and more. There will be three 90-minute seating times offered: 9:30am, 11:30am and 1:30pm. Cost is $23.95 for adults and half off for children ages 5-12. Call for reservations. (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com SWAN COURT - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy a gourmet brunch on Easter Sunday overlooking the lagoon and waterfalls with an all-you-can-eat buffet. Top off with chef’s homemade dessert. Cost is $65 for adults and $33 per child.

10am. (Hyatt Regency Maui Resort, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234; Maui.hyatt.com SHERATON MAUI RESORT - Sun. Apr 16. Celebrate Easter Sunday with delicious brunch buffet and keiki activities including an egg hunt, jumping castle, face painting and the annual Lucky Duck Race. The brunch buffet will take place at resorts Black Rock Kitchen and is priced at $62 per adult and $31

CONSUELO’S KITCHEN - Sun. Apr 16. Celebrate with a delicious Easter brunch. 10am.

(115 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9125.

HALI‘IMAILE GENERAL STORE - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy your Easter Sunday Brunch Buffet in Makawao. Cost is $48 for adults and $18 for children 6-8. Reservations required. 10:30am.

(900 Hali‘imaile Rd., Makawao); 808-572-2666; HGSMaui.com HUMBLE MARKET KITCHIN - Sun. Apr 16.

Enjoy Easter Sunday with a breakfast buffet.

Featuring a carving station serving prime rib and ham, omelet station, local salad station, sandwich station and dessert station. Cost is $60 for adults and $25 children. Call for reservations. 11:30am. (Wailea Beach Resort, 3700 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-879-4655; Hmkmaui.com GRAND WAILEA - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy Easter brunch in the Grand Dining Room. $90 for adults and $45 for children 6-12. Go online to view the full menu and call for reservations. 11:30am. (3850 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com THE TERRACE - Sun. Apr 16. Celebrate this special day while enjoying world-class cuisine and stunning ocean views. Chef Daniel Schmidt and his talented culinary team extend the boundaries of taste, cuisine and presentation at Easter Sunday’s brunch extravaganza.

Cost is $108 per adult and $48 for children 6-12. Advance reservations required. Go online to view the menu and to make a reservation. 12pm. (1 Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-7089; Opentable.com/the-terracethe-ritz-carlton-kapalua KAHILI RESTAURANT - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy a beautiful Easter dinner buffet in Waikapu. Two seating times 5pm and 7:30pm. Cost is $42 per person and $21 for children 5-10. Call for reservations. (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

KING KAMEHAMEHA GOLF - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy this Easter Sunday Brunch with entertainment provided by Willie K and friends. Two seating times, 9-11am and 12-2pm. Cost is $60 per adult and $30 per child. Call for reservations. (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com HULA GRILL - Sun. Apr 16. For the first time, guests will be able to enjoy Easter Brunch overlooking Ka‘anapali Beach. A special a la carte brunch menu has been crafted featuring locally inspired breakfast classics as well as many Hula Grill lunch favorites. Guests will be treated to live Hawaiian entertainment including a hula dancer and there will be egg coloring for keiki. 9am. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636; Hulagrillkaanapali.com

PHOTO COURTESY PIXABAY

LAHAINA CANNERY MALL - Sat. Apr 15. The Easter Bunny hops to the mall. The big guy himself will be on hand for photos and the keiki from Te Tiare Patitifa perform hula for family fun. 10am. (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com

WESTIN MAUI RESORT - Sun. Apr 16. Eggsciting festivities planned in celebration of Easter.

Enjoy a breakfast buffet at Relish Burger Bistro amidst a scenic poolside garden setting from 6:30-10:30am, priced at $29.50 per adult and $14.50 per child 12 and under. Children will enjoy a traditional egg hunt, petting zoo, crafts and photos with the Easter Bunny at the Valley Isle Ballroom from 8:30-11:00am, priced at $25 per child. (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-2992; Westinmaui.com

FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA Sun. Apr 16. Celebrate Easter with a keiki egg hunt, games and a visit with the Easter bunny from 9-11am. A lavish buffet awaits in DUO Steak and Seafood from 10:30am-2pm.

(3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8000; Fourseasons.com/maui

per child 6-12. Reservations required. 10am.

(2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Sheraton-maui.com

Eggtastic Easter Events

APRIL 13, 2017 13

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14 APRIL 13, 2017

Best Of Maui Awards Ballot It’s that time again We know you hold the key to the BEST OF MAUI. It’s your year round perseverance and diligent research on where to eat, where to play, the best shops on the island, and which political scandal takes the cake for 2017. The time you’ve been waiting for is finally here. Cast your vote for your favorite shops, restaurants and community highlights in the MauiTime Best of Maui and be heard!

As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure.

We’ve added some new categories this spice things up, but you’ll still his year to sp find all the old standbys. Please VOTE CATEGORIES if you TE E IN AT LEAST 40 CATEGO want your ballot to be counted. Voting ng g ends May Ma 19th.

A FEW NOTES ABOUT BALLOT STUFFING: While most people play it straight, every year a few nefarious folks attempt to stuff the ballot box. To cut down on this, and to ensure the results are fair and accurate, here are a few rules:

★ ONLY ONE (1) BALLOT PER PERSON ★ ALL BALLOTS MUST BE SIGNED ★ NO PHOTOCOPIED BALLOTS WILL BE ACCEPTED

★ MULTIPLE BALLOTS IN THE SAME HANDWRITING WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED

★ BALLOTS MUST BE MAILED IN; NO MORE THAN THREE (3) BALLOTS PER ENVELOPE. ENVELOPES MUST HAVE A RETURN ADDRESS

You may also notice these convenient ie en nt little QR codes throughout the ballot lo ott that you can scan with your smart phone at any time to take you to our online ballot.

★ EACH ONLINE BALLOT MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A VALID NAME & E-MAIL ADDRESS Any ballots that violate these rules—or that sufficiently rouse our suspicion— will not be tallied. We hope it isn’t necessary, but if anyone does attempt to unfairly sway the outcome, we reserve the right to create a Best Ballot Stuffer category. This is not something you want to win—trust us.

YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT! NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

VOTE ONLINE AT: HTTP://MAUITIME.COM/BALLOT/ OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 16 S. Market St., Suite 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793

17 0 2 E TH

MAUITIME’S GREEN ISSUE IS ALMOST HERE! These days, it’s fashionable for people and companies to label themselves “green” for marketing purposes.

But most are more concerned with brand recognition than in doing what’s best for the environment. That’s why each year, Mauitime’s Green Issue focuses on individuals and organizations who are truly making Maui more ecologically sustainable.

DEADLINE: FRIDAY, APRIL. 14TH PUBLISHES: THURSDAY, APRIL 20TH TO RESERVE SPACE CONTACT: Sarah at 808-283-3260 or sarah@mauitime.com OR Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

APRIL 13, 2017 15

GOODS & SERVICES

Best Of Maui Awards Ballot ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

SPORTS & LEISURE

MALE MUSICIAN: FEMALE MUSICIAN: PLACE TO DANCE: BAND: AKAKU PROGRAM: LOCAL FINE ARTIST: LOCAL RADIO STATION: LOCAL RADIO DJ: LOCAL SNAPCHAT: LOCAL TWITTER FEED: LOCAL FACEBOOK FAN PAGE: LOCAL INSTAGRAM: LOCAL BLOG: LOCAL CLUB DJ: LOCAL COMEDIAN: KARAOKE: OPEN MIC NIGHT: DINNER & A SHOW: LIVE THEATRE: GALLERY: PLACE TO SHOOT POOL: MUSEUM: PARTY PROMOTER: PHOTOGRAPHER:

SWIMMING BEACH: BARBECUING BEACH: PUBLIC POOL: SNORKELING SPOT: ACTIVITY COMPANY: HIKE: LOCALS’ BEACH: LOCAL WATERMAN: LOCAL WATERWOMAN: LOCAL BIG WAVE SURFER: LOCAL SURFER: LOCAL AMATEUR SURFER: LOCAL GROM: LOCAL COACH: YOGA TEACHER: FITNESS CLUB: SCHOLASTIC ATHLETE: COUNTY PARK: YOGA STUDIO: HIGH SCHOOL SPIRIT: PLAYGROUND: SPA: CHILDREN’S ACTIVITY: LOCAL CROWDFUNDING PROJECT:

**YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT!**

NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

CHARLEY RIDGWAY IS BACK in PAU HANA TIME

ADULT GIFT SHOP: LOCAL BOUTIQUE: SALON: HARDWARE STORE: TATTOO SHOP: CONSIGNMENT STORE: BOOKSTORE: PLACE TO GET WAXED: LOCAL SURF SHOP: SWIMWEAR SHOP: SUP BOARD SHOP: SCUBA/SNORKEL SHOP: LASER HAIR REMOVAL: PLACE TO BUY UKULELE: SMOKE SHOP: RECYCLING CENTER: AUTO MECHANIC: “GREEN” BUSINESS: LOCAL CLOTHING DESIGNER: PET SUPPLY STORE: HOTEL / ACCOMODATIONS: HOME FURNISHINGS: NEW BUSINESS: PRESCHOOL/DAYCARE: BRIDAL SHOP: BIKE SHOP: KITE SHOP: LOCAL JEWELRY STORE: SHOPPING CENTER: PLACE FOR FACIAL: PLACE FOR MANI/PEDI: COSMETIC SURGEON: MUSICAL INTRUMENT STORE:

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- Deborah Caulfield Rybak, Journalist & Author

Pau Hana Time is the third novel in the Charley Ridgway series, set in contemporary Maui. It’s written by local author Anthony Pignataro and published by Event Horizon Press.

16 APRIL 13, 2017

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Picks

by Alex Mitchell

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, APR. 13 COMMUNITY KITE MAKING – There’s a Community Kite Making event at the Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Share in making the largest Chinese serpent kite ever seen on Maui with Master Kite Artist George Peters. The kite will be completed by Friday, and showcased in full glory at the Chinese Kite Festival at the Wo Hing Museum on Saturday. Free. 4pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com. Photo: Flickr/Lisa

FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL – The Famous International ss Act. The Festival will be at UH Maui College’s Lei’s Family Class Culinary Arts Garde Manger students will prepare a buffet with tasting ods indicastations that represent famous international festivals.’ Enjoy foods tive of Dia de los Muertes, Mardis Gras, Obon and the Chinese erving beer New Year. There’ll also be yummy desserts and a cash bar serving 125. 5pm. and wine for those that are 21+. Reservations required. $75-125. ve., KahuUniversity of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., ie Friedman lui); 808-984-3280; Maui.hawaii.edu. Photo courtesy Bonnie

FRIDAY, APR. 14 THE TOWN PANTS: EASTER RISING – The Town Pants will tour Maui on Easter weekend, April 14-16. Hailing from Vancouver, B.C., the popular Celtic-roots-rock band will present their “Easter Rising 101” show at various Maui venues. Their shows are regarded as legendary with a mix of Irish traditional, folk, rock, Americana and strong vocals. See them at Maui Coffee Attic in Wailuku at 7pm on Friday, April 14; Diamond’s Ice Bar in Kihei at 8pm on Saturday, April 15; and Mulligan’s on the Blue in Wailea at 7pm on Easter Sunday, April 16. Thetownpants.com.

Photo courtesy Jennifer Fahrni

CELEBRATION OF THE ARTS – The 25th annual Celebration of the Arts happens in Kapalua from Friday, April 14 to Sunday, April 16. It’s a fabulous opportunity to experience authentic Hawaiian culture activities, island foods, live art demonstrations, speaker panels, historic films, traditional music and dance performances.

There will also be a farmers co-op and the debut of the Kapalua Konane Challenge, a Hawaiian checkers playing contest. Various ticket prices and event times. 5:45am. Celebration of the Arts, (Kapalua); 808-665-7089; Celebrationofthearts.org.

Photo courtesy of Facebook/Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua

FRIDAY, FR R IID D DAY, APR. 14 JAI UTTAL – Jai Utt Uttal will play two shows at Makawao Union Church this weekend from F Friday, April 14 to Saturday, April 15. Friday’s concert/kirtan will introduce songs from his recently released album Roots! Rock! Rama!

Saturday’s eve event will be a Bhakti Satsang with live music, kirtan, discussion and devotional ssinging. Advance tickets are available for $30 per show at Maui Kombucha in Haiku, Monsoon India in Kihei, Island Spirit Yoga in Lahaina or MacNet in Kahului. $40 at the door. Friday at 7:30pm & Saturday at 4:30pm. M Makawao Union Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-926 808-579-9261; Jaiuttal.com. Photo: Jeffrey Newbury

DIAL ‘M’ FOR MURDER – Directed by Francis Taua, Dial M For Murder will run from Friday, April 14 to Sunday, April 30 at ProArts Playhouse in Kihei. The play was originally written by Frederick Knot in 1952 and later became a film directed and produced by Alfred Hitchcock. The play stars Dale Lee Button, William Makozak, Jim Oxborrow and Marsi Smith. Showtimes are Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 3pm. (no performance on Easter Sunday, April 16). $26+. 7:30pm. ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; Proartsmaui.com. Photo courtesy of ProArts

FRIDAY, APR FRIDAY APR. 14 WAHINE MUSIC FESTIVAL – The Wahine Music Festival runs Friday, April 14 and Saturday, April 15 at Front of House in Kahului. The two shows are the culmination of Maui’s second annual Wahine Week, a week-long celebration that focuses on art, music and professional development for entrepreneurs. Friday night will feature an intimate night of good vibes with “Girls with Guitars,” a showcase highlighting music by Gail Swanson, Cheryl Rae, Lily Lee and SEDA. Saturday’s “Closing Night” will feature live music with YumYum Beast, Teleporter and The Deborah Vial Band. 21+. $20 each night. 6pm. Front of House, (312-C Alamaha St., Kahului); Wahineweek.com/musicfestival. Photo courtesy Light Sea Images

CHINESE KITE FESTIVAL – The annual Chinese Kite Festival will take place at the Wo Hing Museum in Lahaina. Celebrate National Kite Month and Chinese culture on Maui at this cool family-friendly event. Check out ancient and modern kites from all around the world, see Brenda Wong demonstrate traditional Chinese knot tying and hear presentations by Dr. Busaba Yip on ancient Chinese kites and George Peters on modern kite flying. There’ll also be teas to taste and Chinese food to purchase, keiki kite-making and the unveiling of a giant serpent kite. Free. 10am. Wo Hing Museum, (858 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-5553; Lahainarestoration. org/wo-hing-museum. Photo courtesy of Karee Carlucci

FRIDAY, APR. 14 STEVE GRIMES ALBUM RELEASE PARTY – The Steve Grimes album release party for Assorted Chocolates will happen at the King Kamehameha Golf Club.

The album features 13 original songs that integrate funk, blues, soul, rock and Latin fusion. The night will begin with a welcome pule by Wilmont Kahai‘ali‘i and continue with acoustic music by Steve and the Ono Grimes Band. Fulton Tashombe will be on the keys and Rock Hendrix will be on the sax. Admission includes the new album and there’ll also be pupus available and a no-host bar. $15. 6:30pm. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com. Photo courtesy of Facebook/ Steve Grimes

‘THE WIZARD OF OZ’ – The Baldwin High School Performing Arts and Theatre Guild presents The Wizard of Oz from Thursday, April 14 through Sunday, April 16. See how Maui’s talented teen actors travel down the yellow brick road to the Emerald City. Will the great and powerful Wizard grant their wishes? Show times are April 14 at 7pm, April 15 at 2pm and 7pm; and April 16 at 2pm. $12 Adults, $10 Seniors $7 Students (1217), $5 Children (11 and under). 7pm. Baldwin High School, (1650 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 808-727-3200; Baldwin.k12.hi.us.

Photo courtesy of Flickr/Thomas Hawk

SATURDAY, APR. 15 ‘NERVOUS LAUGHTER’ – Nervous Laughter: A Big Wave Documentary will play at the MACC. The film features an eclectic crew of childhood friends and Maui surfers as they follow each other into the Peahi lineup. Viewers will get an insider’s perspective of surfing peer pressure, rivalries, injury, triumph, friendship and how these surfers have pushed and supported each other to unprecedented levels over the years. The documentary features Maui surfers Albee Layer, Kai Lenny, Billy Kemper, Dege O’Connell and Torrey Meister. $12.

7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

L LAHAINA KITE FLYING DAY – Lahaina Kite Flyiing Day will be celebrated at the Lahaina Cannery M Mall.

Watch a colorful collection of kites soaring from the Mall’s south lawn. There’ll be lots of vibrant band ner displays, acrobatic sport kites, keiki kite-making and more Don’t miss out on seeing the inaugural flight of more. the giant Chinese serpent kite made by Maui’s kite enthusiast community throughout the Maui Kite Festival weekend. Free. 9am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.

Lahainacannerymall.com. Photo: Flickr/Sheila

SATURDAY, SA S ATU UR RD DAY AY, A APR. 15 LONESTAR – Lonestar will play at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center (MACC). This country music group is famous for their country roots tunes, strong melodies and rich vocals. These Texan musicians have toured together for over 20 years, and have received numerous musical accolades. Original band members include Richie McDonald, Michael Britt, Keech Rainwater and Dean Sams. $49-125. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

DAVID BROMBERG BAND – The David Bromberg Band will be at the MACC. Bromberg is an Americana music icon who’s played music for more than five decades. At his Maui concert, you’ll see him play alongside Mark Cosgrove (guitars, mandolin, vocals), Nate Grower (fiddle, mandolin, guitar, vocals), Josh Kanusky (drums) and Suavek Zaniesienko (bass, vocals). $58-65. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org.

Photo courtesy of Facebook/ David Broomberg Quintet & Band

APRIL 13, 2017 19

Film

by Barry Wurst II

Weird Kid ‘The Boss Baby’ is nothing more than babysitter fodder ★★★★★

your parents, then seeing that turned upside down when a newborn arrives. It also bombards the viewer with poop and fart jokes and is never as funny as it should be.

Based on Marla Frazee’s 2013 children’s book, The Boss Baby has a such a strange plot, describing it sounds like recollecting a bizarre dream. According to this movie, babies are assembled in Heaven by factory machines, which diaper and prep them for life on Earth. If a baby is ticklish, it’s sent to live with humans. However, if a baby is tickled and doesn’t laugh, it must work in a Management workplace, doing bureaucratic work in a cubicle. The Boss Baby (voice by Alec Baldwin) is one such infant, who has the body of a tyke but dresses in a suit, carries a briefcase and, well, sounds like Alec Baldwin. For reasons that are truly strange (something involving the name of a puppy), the Boss Baby goes undercover as a real baby.

Tim, an only child, is immediately suspicious of his new baby brother, who dresses like a yuppie and is clearly up to no good.

It’s touted as coming from “the studio that brought you Shrek and Madagascar,” which should be taken as a warning. The first Shrek is wonderful but those sequels

Rated PG / 97 Min.

M

y brother Marty is three years younger than me and I remember his arrival being a wonderful time of change in my life. Believing that “the stork” had made a delivery, I was delighted by the new presence in our home.

From the very beginning, I was so fond of him, I used to climb into his crib and sleep next to him. My other favorite, early memory of Marty was finding him awake by himself in our living room the morning after we opened Christmas presents. He was six years old, had a cluster of books spread out on the floor and was taking the time to read each one. I remember catching him doing this and thinking, “What a neat kid.”

I loved being a big brother and still do. Yet, I understand how some kids can get territorial and downright resentful of a tiny, crying, attention hog.

The Boss Baby, the new comedy from Dreamworks Animation, addresses the shock of being an only child, having a well established pattern and relationship with

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and most other CGI animated Dreamworks comedies aren’t. The Boss Baby often resorts to the same kind of lowbrow, anything-for-a-cheap-laugh mentality of the Ice Age sequels or Despicable Me movies. There’s a big difference between family movies and movies that were made strictly for kids. Most of The Boss Baby is babysitter fodder, though it occasionally wants to be more than that.

Too much of this is obviously trying to be a Pixar movie. The general set-up and subsequent scenes are right out of Toy Story. The introduction of the Boss Baby as a domestic disruption and his initial game of one-upmanship with Tim plays like the Woody/Buzz rivalry and eventual friendship. There’s even a chase through a suburban street, just like the one in the

first Toy Story.

Baldwin is in good form, but it’s hard to figure out what drew him to this (and no, there’s no correlation between his turn as the Boss Baby and his much discussed recurring portrayal as President Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live). I also wonder why Tobey Maguire (who does a so-so job as the narrator), Steve Buscemi (voicing the underwhelming heavy), Lisa Kudrow and Jimmy Kimmel (voicing Tim’s clueless parents) wanted to be in this.

I laughed a few times, there are some lovely visuals (even if the animation isn’t top tier) and the score by Hans Zimmer and Steve Mazzaro is superb. There are a few touching moments, kids will have a blast and I liked the ending but please, oh please, no Boss Baby 2. ■

Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Fate of the Furious- PG13- 2D THU 7:15

10:15, 2D FRI-SAT 10:30 11:30 1:30 2:30 4:30 5:30 7:30 10:30 11:15, 2D SUN-THU 10:30 11:30 1:30 2:30 4:30 5:30 7:30.

Ghost In The Shell- PG13- 2D THU 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15 9:40. 2D FRI-SAT 10:45 9:45, 2D SUN-THU 10:45.

Kong: Skull Island- PG13- 2D THU 1:35 4:20.

2D FRI-THU 1:15 4:10 7:00.

Beauty and the Beast-PG- 2D THU 10:45 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45. 2D FRI-SAT 10:45 11:30 1:30 4:15 5:00 7:00 7:45 9:45 10:25, 2D SUN-THU 10:45 11:30 1:30 4:15 5:00 7:00 7:45.

Beauty and the Beast Sing-A-Long- PG- 2D THU 11:45 2:30 8:00. 2D FRI-THU 2:10.

Smurfs: Lost Village- PG- 2D THU 10:25 11:15 12:30 2:40 3:40 4:50 5:50 7:00 9:30. 3D THU 1:30 8:00. 2D FRI-SAT 10:25 12:35 2:45 5:00 7:15 9:30, 2D SUN-THU 10:25 12:35 2:45 5:00 7:15.

Northern Lights- A Journey to Love- NR- 2D THU 11:00.

MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

THURS | 4/13

10:30, THU (11:40 2:20 5:20) 7:50 10:30.

Ghost In The Shell- PG13- 2D THU (11:30 1:50 4:30) 7:10 9:40. 3D THU (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20. 2D FRI (11:30 2:00 4:40) 7:10 9:35, SATSUN (11:30 2:00) 4:40 7:10 9:35, MON (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:10 9:35, TUE (11:30 2:00 4:40) 7:10 9:35, WED (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:10 9:35, THU (11:30 2:00 4:40) 7:10 9:35.

The Boss Baby-PG- 2D THU (12:00 2:40 5:10) 7:50 10:20. 2D FRI (11:50 2:10 5:00) 7:20 10:10, SAT-SUN (11:50 2:10) 5:00 7:20 10:10, MON (11:50 2:10 5:00) 7:40 10:10, TUE (11:50 2:10 5:00) 7:30 10:10, WED (11:50 2:10 5:00) 7:40 10:10, THU (11:50 2:10 5:00) 7:30 10:10.

The Zookeeper’s Wife-PG13- 2D THU (12:40 3:40) 7:00 10:30. 2D FRI (11:40 2:20 4:50) 7:30 10:00, SAT-SUN (11:40 2:20) 4:50 7:30 10:00, MON-THU (11:40 2:20 4:50) 7:30 10:00.

Chips-R- 2D THU (11:30 2:10 4:40) 8:00. 2D FRI (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20, SAT-SUN (12:00 2:30) 5:10 7:40 10:20, MON (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20, TUE (12:00 2:30 5:10) 10:20, WED (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20, THU (12:00 2:30 5:10) 10:20.

Life-R- 2D THU (11:40 2:30 5:00). 2D FRI (11:30 2:40 5:10) 8:00 10:40, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:40) 5:10 8:00 10:40, MON (11:30 2:40 5:10) 10:40, TUE (11:30 2:40 5:10) 8:00 10:40, WED (11:30 2:40 5:10) 10:40, THU (11:30 2:40 5:10) 8:00 10:40.

Power Rangers-PG13- 2D THU (12:50 1:20

3:40 4:10) 6:30 7:00 9:20 9:50. 2D FRI (11:30 2:10 4:30) 7:20 9:30, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:10) 4:30 7:20 9:30, MON (11:30 2:10 4:30) 7:20 9:50, TUE (11:30 2:10 4:30) 7:20 10:20, WED (11:30 2:10 4:30) 7:20 9:50, THU (11:30 2:10 4:30) 7:20 10:30.

Logan- R- 2D THU (11:30 2:00 5:00) 7:30 10:20.

2D FRI (11:40 2:00 5:00) 7:40 10:30, SAT-SUN (11:40 2:00) 5:00 7:40 10:30, MON-THU (11:40 2:00 5:00) 7:40 10:30.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) The Fate of the Furious- PG13- 2D THU 7:00. 2D

FRI-SUN (12:30) 3:45 7:00 10:05, MON (12:30 3:45) 7:00, TUE (12:30 3:45 7:00 10:05), WEDTHU (12:30 3:45) 7:00.

Smurfs: The Lost Village-PG- 2D THU (1:00) 7:00. 3D THU (4:00). 2D FRI-MON (1:00) 6:45, TUE (1:00 6:45), WED-THU (1:00) 6:45. 3D FRISUN 4:00 9:30, MON (4:00), TUE (4:00 9:30), WED-THU (4:00).

The Boss Baby- PG- 2D THU (12:45 3:45) 6:45.

2D FRI-SUN (12:45) 3:35 6:30 9:20, MON (12:45 3:35) 6:30, TUE (12:45 3:35 6:30 9:20), WED-THU (12:45 3:35) 6:30.

Doctor Who: Season 10 Premiere- NR- 2D MON

6:30-8:30pm • No Cover!

FRI | 4/14

WE WANT THE FUNK WITH DJ BLAST Free before 10pm • $5 until 10:30pm • $10 after

SAT | 4/15

NERVOUS LAUGHTER AFTER PARTY DJ JORALIEN & DJ JAY P 9:30pm • $10

Silent Auction & Proceeds to Beneŵt Lisa Kemper Catch the World Premiere Documentary at the MACC at 7pm - A Film by Take Shelter

Featuring Albee Layer, Kai Lenny, Billy Kemper, Dege O’Connell, Torrey Meister, Matt Meola & Wes Larsen

SUN | 4/16

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MON | 4/17

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • NO COVER TUES | 4/18

TOM CONWAY

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER WED | 4/19

RYAN ROBINSON

7:00, WED 7:00.

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

The Fate of the Furious- PG13- 2D THU 7:00

10:20. 2D FRI (11:50 12:20 12:50 3:10 3:40 4:10) 6:30 7:00 7:30 9:20 9:50 10:20, SAT-SUN (11:50 12:20 12:50 3:10) 3:40 4:10 6:30 7:00 7:30 9:20 9:50 10:20, MON-THU (11:50 12:20 12:50 3:10 3:40 4:10) 6:30 7:00 7:30 9:20 9:50 10:20.

Rifftrax Live: Samurai Cop- R- 2D THU 8:00, TUE 7:30.

Going in Style-PG13- 2D THU (11:50 2:20 4:50) 7:20 9:50. FRI (12:10 2:30 4:50) 7:00 10:40, SAT-SUN (12:10 2:30) 4:50 7:00 10:40, MONTHU (12:10 2:30 4:50) 7:00 10:40.

The Case For Christ-PG- 2D THU (11:30 2:10 4:50) 7:30 10:00. FRI (11:40 2:20 5:20) 7:50 10:30, SAT-SUN (2:20) 5:20 7:50 10:30, MON (11:40 2:20 5:00) 7:50 10:30, TUE (11:40 2:20 5:20) 7:50 10:30, WED (11:40 2:20 5:00) 7:50

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The Fate of the Furious opens this week

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EVENTS

Country Music Superstar Group

Lonestar

NEW THIS WEEK DOCTOR WHO: SEASON 10 PREMIERE NR - Sci-Fi - See the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) on the big screen. 120 min.

THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS - PG13 - Action/ Crime - A beautiful woman seduces Dom (Vin Diesel) and he finds himself involved in terrorism. Also stars Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham. 136 min.

and his seven-year-old brother seek to thwart the evil CEO of Puppy Co. Voices by Alec Baldwin and Steve Buscemi. See this week’s film review. 97 min.

THE CASE FOR CHRIST - PG - Drama - An atheist journalist seeks to prove the existence of Christ after his wife finds religion. 112 min.

CHIPS - R - Action/Comedy - A rookie California Highway Patrol officer finds out his partner is an undercover FBI agent because Hollywood doesn’t know when to stop rebooting crappy old TV shows. 100 min.

RIFFTRAX LIVE: SAMURAI COP - NR - Action/Crime - A 1991 film about two detectives who try to stop a renegade band of Yakuza from taking over the LA drug world gets the Rifftrax Live treatment. 96 min.

GHOST IN THE SHELL - PG13 - Action/Crime - Scarlett Johansson stars in this white-washed version of the Japanese comic about a cyberenhanced woman who fights crime. 106 min.

NOW PLAYING

GOING IN STYLE - PG13 - Comedy/Crime - Three old guys start robbing the banks that ripped them off. Stars Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin and Michael Caine. 96 min.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - PG - Fantasy/Musical - Emma Watson stars in this live-action version of the famous fairy tale in which a young woman falls in love with a buffalo. Also stars Dan Stevens. 129 min.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SING-ALONG PG - Fantasy/Musical - If you enjoyed the movie, then you’ll love the sing-along version! 129 min.

THE BOSS BABY - PG - Animation/Family - A baby

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 - R - Action/Thriller Former hitman John Wick returns to the criminal underworld, where he discovers there’s a price on his head. Yawn–been there, done that. 122 min.

KONG: SKULL ISLAND - PG13 - Action/Adventure - A bunch of army guys go to Skull Island to find King Kong in the 1970s because whatever–it’s a monster movie. Stars Brie Larson, Tom

Hiddleston and John C. Reilly. 120 min.

LIFE - R - Horror/Sci-Fi - Space station astronauts fight scary aliens. Yeah, that’s about it.

Stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson and Ryan Reynolds. 103 min LOGAN - R - Action/Drama - In 2029, Wolverine and an ailing Dr. Xavier care for a young mutant girl who’s being chased by evil agents. 137 min.

POWER RANGERS - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - A group of high school kids get superpowers and fight to save the world while dressed as action figures. 124 min.

SMURFS: LOST VILLAGE - PG - Animation/ Adventure - Smurfette and her friends stumble on the biggest secret in Smurf history. 89 min.

THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE - PG13 - Drama/ History - The story of the keepers of the Warsaw Zoo, who sought to protect people and animals during the Nazi invasion. 124 min.

LAST CHANCE NORTHERN LIGHTS: A JOURNEY TO LOVE - PG - Romance - A man who finds he must now care for his son in the Philippines meets a quirky woman. 98 min.

FRI April 14 7:30 pm Castle Acoustic Folk, Blues & Bluegrass An Evening With

Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge and Aoife O’Donovan

FRI April 14 7:30 pm McCoy

Nervous Laughter:

A Big Wave Documentary SAT April 15 7:00 pm Castle Blues Singer-Songwriter & His Band

David Bromberg Band SAT April 15 7:30 pm McCoy MACC Starry Night Cinema

Sing

FRI April 21 FREE! Gates 6:00/Film 7:30 GALLERY

Art Maui 2017

Now Through April 30 Open Daily 10-5 FREE ADMISSION

APRIL 13, 2017 21

Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS WAHINE WEEK ANNUAL GATHERING - Mon. Apr 10 - Sat. Apr 15. Each year, Wahine Week features a series of free networking luncheons, social gatherings and pop-up shops. These casual gatherings are for everyone to get together, share knowledge and experience and, most importantly, support one another. 11:30am. Wahine Week; Wahineweek.com LAHAINA SECOND FRIDAY TOWN PARTY: ‘50S ROCK N ROLL PARTY - Fri. Apr 14. During this town party, see the fifth annual Classic Car Show lining up along Front Street. Soroptimist International of West Maui (SIWM) will hold their annual fundraiser with a silent auction that will help raise funds for scholarship programs for West Maui women and children. Of course, there will also be live music, ono food, art and fun. 5pm. Lahaina Town Party, (Front Street, Lahaina); 808-270-7710; Mauifridays.com

Castle Theater for their annual School Band Concert Series. The concerts allow the next generation of musicians to experience the same worldclass stage setting that the superstars enjoy. 7pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org JAZZ METROPOLIS WITH LEE NORRIS Wed. Apr 19. Mana O Radio 91.7’s Lee Norris of Jazz Metropolis hosts this great three-hour Work Jazz House Set live on the patio every Wednesday. Fusing jazz and house sets, he’ll create a very cool atmosphere for networking and relaxation on hump day. Specials on pupus and cocktails and the burgers are supreme. 5pm. Cow Pig Bun, (535 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-875-8100; Cowpigbun.com

STAGE SHOWS WARREN AND ANNABELLE’S MAGIC SHOW - Mon-Sat. Warren Gibson, one of the country’s best sleight-of-hand magicians treats you to the best “close-up” magic and comedy in a beautiful 78-seat venue! A Annabelle, their resident ghost, will entertain you while you dine, enjoy cocktails, appe petizers, and yummy dess serts. $64-104.50. 5pm.

Warren and Annabelle’s, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-6244; Warrenandannabelles.com

RELEASE THE HOUNDS: AN EVENING WITH p 14. A JULIAN, CHRIS AND AOIFE - Fri. Apr g an nd acoustic innovanight of intrepid songwriting and O’D Donovan tion, beginning with Aoife O’Donovan ge at center stage. Julian Lage w and Chris Eldridge follow with their masterly acoustic performance typical of the virtuosic duo, known for pushing the envelope of folk, bluegrass and jazz. The evening con‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, OUT cludes with all three on Thur, Fri. Delight in the ECK H K C E stage together in an auralrichness of Hawaiian hisWE CAN hootenanny. $35. 7:30pm.

THE to and culture through tory YOU F .

O al Maui Arts and Cultural au authentic Hawaiian music, KS E 19 PIC ay, Center, (1 Cameron Way, PAG danc dance and over 100 instruN O OW; Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; ments played live in a dynamic, Mauiarts.org colorful, e emotional, and entertaining theatrical performance. perf Embark on this AN CONGRE KAHAKULOA HAWAIIAN CONGREpowerful journey, and leave with a deeper underGATIONAL CHURCH HO‘OLAULEA - Sat. Apr standing of the island’s culture, and the true essence 15. Show your support at this benefit to repair of aloha. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 Adults. Children the Kahakuloa Hawaiian Congregational Church.

5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, There will be entertainment provided by Richard and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Ho‘opi‘i, Willie K, As Izz, Kalani Pe‘a, the KenoTheatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; lio Ohana, Keka‘a Jeep, Mele Pono, Koa and the Mauitheatre.com Kahai Ali‘i Ohana. Enjoy food, keiki activities and

'T N O D T! E G FOR

more. Donations greatly appreciated. 11am. Lahaina Recreation Complex, (Shaw Street, Lahaina) LIVE BAND SHOWCASE - Sat. Apr 15. Enjoy a night of local original island punk, rock, swing and hip hop with Ukulele rock band The Eazy with opening sets by Arlie Asiu. $6 cover at the door benefits Mana‘o Radio. 7pm. Maui Coffee Attic, (59 Kanoa St., Wailuku); 808-250-9555.

SKY LOUNGE KAHILI - Sat. Apr 15. Hit up this Nightclub Event with Next Level Entertainment and Da Jam 98.3 mixing Top 40, EDM and Hip Hop jams. Dress to impress. 21+. $20. 9pm. Kahili Restaurant, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com ‘NERVOUS LAUGHTER’ AFTER-PARTY - Sat. Apr 15. Catch the world premiere of Nervous Laughter: A Big Wave Documentary at the MACC at 7pm.

Then head to Paia for the after-party with DJ’s Joralien and Jay P. There will be a silent auction with proceeds to benefit Billy Kemper’s mom Lisa, who is battling Stage 3C throat cancer. $10. 9:30pm.

Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com LIP SYNC BATTLE - Mon. Apr 17. DJ Casey Jones will host this tournament-style lip sync battle. Get in character, bring your own props and add your flare to outshine your competitors.

8:30pm. Down the Hatch, (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com ST. ANTHONY HIGH SCHOOL BAND - Tue. Apr 18. Join the students of St. Anthony in the

22 APRIL 13, 2017

OPEN MIC NIGHT - Thu. Apr 13. Love to sing, play an instrument, slam poetry, do magic tricks, stand-up comedy, karaoke, act, dance and hula?

All talents and ages are welcome to perform or watch at The Music Club. The UH Maui College chorus will kick-off the event with a performance and there will be pizza. Please bring food to share.

Free. 5pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu NA LIO DINNER - Thu. Apr 13. Sit back and enjoy the story of the horse in Hawaii and discover how the Hawaiian Cowboys, and the horse became a part of Hawaiian culture. Check-in at the shop and the shuttle will transport you to Kahalawai Farms and Stables for the dinner and show.

The Menu will be seasonal and prepared on location by Kalei’s Food Truck and Catering. Visit with miniature horses Julio and Freedom, take pictures and meet the horses and cast of Na Lio. BYOB. $99. 5:30pm. Na Lio Gift Shop, (335 Keawe St., Lahaina); 808-270-2255; Naliomaui.com ‘BURN’N LOVE’ - Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Starring Darren Lee, relive the days of Blue Hawaii with one of the best Elvis impersonators in the world. $60-110. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com FOUREVER FAB SHOW MAUI, THE BEATLES TRIBUTE - Wed. Apr 19. Fourever Fab and its founding members have been performing the

TheGRID

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FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/13

4/14

4/15

4/16

4/17-4/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Let’s Go Retro SIN w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

Dance Party w/ Poundtown, 10pm

CASANOVA

Keep on Movin’ w/ DJ Firefly, 10pm

DJ Kurt’s Underground Dance Party, 10pm

Kelli’s Dirty 30 w/ Tflatz & Highlights, 9:30pm $10

1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

MON- Movies & Martinis 7:30 & 9:30pm Showings, TUE-Latin Nights w/ music and Salsa dancing 10pm, WED- Wine Down Wednesday w/Music, 10pm WED- New Ladies Night w/ Resident DJ Kid Continental, 10pm $10

Mark Johnstone & Friends, 6:30pm, no cover

We want the Funk w/ DJ Blast, 10pm $10

Nervous Laughter Afterparty & Benefit for Lisa Kemper, 9:30pm $10

Brunch & Bloody Mary Bar 7am

MON- Live Band & Open Mic 7-10pm, TUE- Tom Conway, 6:30pm, WED- Rya Robinson, 6:30pm

Will Hartzog 7:30pm-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7-9pm; no cover

MON-Garrett Probst 7:30pm, TUE- Jazz at the Cat 7:30pm WED- Benny Uyetake 7pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

Service Industry Night, 9pm

Natalie Nicole Band, 7pm

The Town Pants, 8pm

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

MON- Corona Day, TUE- Pool Day

DIRTY MONKEY

DJ Gary Oneal 9pm-close

DJ Dagwood, 9pm-close

DJ Illz, 9pm-close

Trivia Night 7pm

TBA

TBA

TBA

MON- MA’s Mix 10pm, TUE- Ladies Night 10pm, WED- TBA

Noa Zeb, 10:30am SIN 10pm

Corey Rezner10:30am, Fresh Squeezed Friday 6pm

Kendall & Armadillo, 10:30am

no live music

MON- Ian Gelleisky 10:30am & Lip Sync Battle 10pm, TUE- Jason Macapulay 10:30am, WED Corey Rezner 10:30am

Gretchen Rhodes w/ House Shakers & Rock Hendrix, 7-10pm

The House Shakers, 7-10pm

Gretchen Rhodes w/ House Shakers & Rock Hendrix, 7-10pm

Paul Marchetti Jazz Experience, 7-10pm

MON- Black & Gold 7-10pm, TUE- Mick Fleetwood, Eric Gilliom & Gretchen Rhodes 7-10pm, WED- Paul West 7-10pm

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

DIAMOND'S ICE BAR 844 Front St., Lahaina - 419-6286

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

hits of the world’s most-loved lads, The Beatles, for over twenty years. They continue to perfect their performance with sound-alike vocals and the original instruments to pay tribute to the songs that defined a generation. Ticket start at $59.99 for adults and $29.99 for children (age 5 through 11). 10 percent discount for Kama‘aina with Hawaii ID. 6:30pm. Fourever Fab Show at Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-365-7535; Foureverfabshow.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed. Apr 19. Hosted by George and his Slack Key Show Ohana, see Peter deAquino, Sterling Seaton and Wainani Kealoha. $37.99. 7:30pm. Slack Key Show at Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; Slackkeyshow.com

MAUI FOODIE KING’S COTTAGE TASTING ROOM - Thu. Apr 13. Built for King Kalakaua in 1856, the King’s Cottage is where you can taste complimentary MauiWine varieties, also offering free historical and cellar tours. 10am. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KINGS VISIT WINE TASTING AND TOUR Thu. Apr 13. Maui’s only winery is now offering the King’s Visit Wine Tasting and Tour. This is a great opportunity for wine lovers and those who want to learn more about grape production on Maui. $50. 3:30pm. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KAPALUA SUNSET DINNER - Tuesday-Saturday. Sit back, relax and take in the beautiful Maui sunset while enjoying a special three-course Sunset Menu which includes a glass of sparkling wine and an amuse bouche from the chef. $50.

5:30pm. Banyan Tree Restaurant at The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua, (1 Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua); 808665-7096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree WILLIE K AND THE WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND - Thu. Apr 13. Enjoy the electric sounds of Willie K as he rocks the house with blues, rock, Hawaiian and sometimes even opera. A scrumptious prime rib and seafood buffet is available. $70 for dinner and show. $30 for 8pm show only.

Call for reservations. 6:30pm. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com CASTAWAY’S SEAFOOD NIGHT - Fri. Apr 14.

Enjoy a seafood extravaganza with fresh fish, clams, shrimp, crab leg cluster, Portuguese sausage, new potatoes, corn on the cob and garlic bread. $47.95.

5pm. Castaway Cafe, (45 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-9091; CastawayCafe.com PROJECT COCKTAIL - Fri. Apr 14. This fun Friday night is presented in conjunction with wine and spirit partners to highlight a different type of liquor. Mixologists push their creativity to the max with themed cocktails, concoctions, live music and an entertaining atmosphere. 7pm. Luana Lounge at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com/kea-lani-maui/dining/luana SUNDAY BRUNCH AND BLOODY MARY BAR - Sun. Apr 16. Featuring an enhanced a la carte breakfast menu created by Chef David Viviano, a celebration of savory and sweet culinary delights.

10am. Cane and Canoe at Montage Kapalua, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com HAWAIIAN MUSIC JAM SESSION - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy an amazing local brunch while delighting in the sounds and performances of Willie K and some of Hawaii’s most talented musicians. $50. 10am. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com KO’S SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy Chef Tylun Pang’s healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, the special seafood laulau includes Maui fresh catch fish, shrimp, scallops, spinach, mushrooms and baby bok choy, all wrapped in ti leaf, steamed, and served with jasmine rice.

5pm. Ko at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-2210; Korestaurant.com CASTAWAY’S DATE NIGHT - Wed. Apr 19.

A perfect destination to bring your sweetheart with ocean front dining and couple specials.

Enjoy entrees, house or caesar salad and a bottle of wine for $49.95 per couple. 5pm.

Castaway Cafe, (45 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-9091; CastawayCafe.com LUAU DINNER SHOW - Wed. Apr 19. The luau dinner show Huaka‘i: Journey through Polynesia

WED- SIN w/ DJ Andrew, 10pm

includes traditional games, woodcarvers, cultural demonstrations and a luau buffet. There will be beautiful hula performances and the fire knife dance finale. 5:30pm. Ka‘anapali Beach Club Luau, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores); 888-582-8858; Huakailuau.com

ART SCENE CALL TO ARTISTS: SCHAEFER PORTRAIT CHALLENGE 2018 (SPC2018) - Thu. Mar 23 - Sat. Sep 23. The Challenge is open to artists 18+ who are Hawaii residents. All works entered must be original, unique and newly-created specifically for this exhibition. 9am. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org EXHIBIT: ART MAUI 2017 - Until - Sun. Apr 30.

Expect to see a broad range of ideas and talent from the growing community of artists in a variety of media including: drawing, painting, printmaking, photography, jewelry, fiber, and sculpture. This year’s juror will be Sally French, owner of Double Dog Dare Studio on Kauai. Free. 9am. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org CALLING ALL YOUNG ARTISTS FOR DRAWING CONTEST - Until - Sun. Apr 30.

The Manga and Art Drawing Contest will be held at the Maui Matsuri festival on May 6.

Maui residents grades 3-12 are encouraged to enter. Details and contest rules and entry forms are available online. 8am. Maui Matsuri, 808-283-9999; Mauimatsuri.com VICTORIA WUNDRAM - Until - Tue. May 2. The featured artist in the Banyan Tree Gallery will be Victoria Wundram. Stop by the gallery during the reception to meet her and see her colorful paintings and three-dimensional wood pieces. 9am.

Lahaina Arts Society, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com ART OF TRASH 2017 EXHIBIT - Until- Sat. Apr 29. Art of Trash is presented by local nonprofits Malama Maui Nui and Sharing Aloha. This exhibition changes environmental awareness of what is trash and gives new perspective on how we might reduce our footprint by finding creative ways to keep reusable items out of our landfill. 10am. Art of Trash, (Maui Mall, Kahului); 808-877-2524; Sharingalohamaui.org

KENSU JEWELRY TRUNK SHOW - Thu. Apr 13 - Sat. Apr 15. Maui based designers Kendra and Suheiwa will be showcasing a range of unique simple and bold inspired works. All jewelry is made by hand with real semi-precious stones and gold or silver– each piece is unique. 9am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/kapalua-bay PASTELIST AND ENCAUSTIC ARTIST, KATHLEEN O’BRYAN - Thu. Apr 13. Makawao pastelist and encaustic artist Kathleen O’Bryan has made her living as professional fine artist for more than 35 years, participating in solo, group and juried exhibitions. 12pm. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com LUANA KAMA - Fri. Apr 14. Luana Kama enjoys painting with watercolor and finds it fascinating to see the pigments and water flow on paper, her favorite subjects to paint are people and flowers. She will be in the gallery every Friday in April working on her newest work of art.

4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com CAFE FRIDAY, LIVE ART AND MUSIC - Fri. Apr 14. Friday evenings at the cafe are bustling with published local artists creating amazing art along with live music from professional musicians and recording artists. 5:30pm. Cafe Cafe Maui, (129 Lahainaluna Rd.); 808-283-2739; Cafecafemaui.com FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. Apr 14. Visit the gallery, for live music and Mai Tais while they showcase a new artist of the week. Free. 6pm.

Lahaina Printsellers Ltd., (764 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com

POLITICAL EVENTS THROWDOWN THURSDAY’S RALLIES - Thu. Apr 13. Every Thursday, peaceful resistance continues in response to the many untenable policies the new administration is proposing that threaten democracy. Everyone is invited to come out and bring a sign reflecting why you march and make your voices heard. 4pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu

APRIL 13, 2017 23

24 APRIL 13, 2017

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/13

4/14

4/15

4/16

4/17-4/19

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HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Karaoke, 9pm-close

Dat Guyz, 9pm-close

Island Reggae, 9pm-close

Karaoke Industry Night, 8pm-close

MON- Karaoke 8pm, TUE- Karaoke & $1 Tacos, WED- Open Mic 9pm

Rick Glencross

Guest Musician

Rick Glencross

John Bowser

MON- Mel & Soundlab, TUE- Nino Tascano & Paul Bunuan, WED- Guest Musician

Ma’a 6:30pm-8:30pm

Willie K, 9-11pm $5 cover

Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm

Benny & Rock 6-8pm

MON- Benny & Rock 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Jim Spector, 5:30pm

Sal Godinez, 5-8pm

Neto, 5:30pm

Island Soul, 5:30pm

TUE- Tantalizing Tues w/Gina Martinelli & Friends 5-8pm, WED-Jim Spector, 5:30pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolf / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Hot Friday’s w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze, 10pm

Euphoria w/ DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Pat Simmons Jr., 6:30-8:30pm

TBA

TBA

The Town Pants, 7pm

MON-WED TBA

Thirsty Thursdays & Free Pool

Karaoke w/ Brant Quick & prizes 7-11pm

Ladies Night w/ specials 9pm

Dart Tournament, NBA & NHL

MON- NBA & NHL, darts & pool, TUE- $2 Taco Tuesdays, WED- Specials & 9-ball Tournament

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

KONO’S ON THE GREEN 470 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei - 633-4220

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

PARADISE GRILL

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

MULLIGANS ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St, Wailea - 874-1131

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR 928 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4084

FISCAL YEAR 2018 BUDGET MEETING - Thu. Apr 13- Tue. Apr 18. The Budget and Finance Committee received the mayor’s proposed fiscal year 2018 budget of $795.3 million and will begin its review with committee meetings throughout April. The public is welcome to provide oral or written testimony at any scheduled committee meeting. Testimony may also be emailed to bf.committee@mauicounty. us, referencing BF-1. Thursday: 6pm. Helene Hall, (150 Keawa Pl., Hana); Monday: 6pm. Lahaina Civic Center, (1840 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); Tuesday: 6pm. Council Chambers, (200 S. High St., 8th floor, Wailuku); MauiCounty.us/2018budget

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, APRIL 13TH MALAMA MAUI NUI LAUNCHES 2017 GREAT AMERICAN CLEANUP - Until - Sun. Apr 30. Malama Maui Nui is inviting volunteers to “be the bridge from mauka to makai” by joining the Hawaii Government Employees Association (HGEA) at their cleanup event. As part of Keep America Beautiful’s annual Great American Cleanup (GAC), they encourage local volunteers, churches, organizations and businesses to form their own block cleanups during the month of April. Interested participants in the kick-off event and the 2017 GAC may call or go online. 8am. Kwong Fook Tong Chinese Cemetery, (Kahekili Hwy., Wailuku); 808-877-2524; Malamamauinui.org/volunteer-maui HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK SERVICE TRIP - Until - Sat. Apr 22. The Friends of Haleakala National Park are looking for enthusiastic and physically fit volunteers for an upcoming Service Learning trip on April 22-24. Participants will hike into the crater for two nights in Holua Cabin working on protection of native plants. Cost of evening meals is shared. For more information and to sign up for this trip, visit the website to certify your readiness. Then call the leader listed on the website for a reservation. Free. 7am. Haleakala National Park, (Haleakala Hwy., Kula); 808-205-4067; Fhnp.org ‘AKAKU UPSTAIRS’ SALON SERIES: THE STATE OF THE MEDIA, 2017 - Thu. Apr 13.

The guest speaker will be Jay April, President and CEO at Akaku, who is also a video journalist and filmmaker. April will speak about the current state of media in 2017, focusing on how technology is transforming our society. He will share his perspective on the dominance of corporate voices and how non-commercial community media outlets like Akaku can preserve electronic democracy in America. A question and answers session will follow. 6pm. Akaku Maui Community Media, (333 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-871-5554; Akaku.org

HULA LESSONS - Thu. Apr 13. Want to learn hula? Drop by the mall’s center stage for a free lesson with Jan Kitaguchi. Free. 5pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com HALAU HULA KAULUOKALA KUMU ULUWEHI GUERRERO HULA CLASSES - Thu. Apr 13. Halau Hula Kauluokala, under the direction of Kumu Uluwehi Guerrero, is opening classes for adults who cannot make a full halau commitment but still want to have hula in their lives. No fundraising, performance, or protocol commitments.

Must have knowledge of the hula basics. These are not beginner classes. $30. 5pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org

FRIDAY, APRIL 14TH PAU HANA AND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT Fri. Apr 14. Pau Hana celebrates the end of the work week with live musical performances by Maui’s talented up and coming artists as well as Maui’s more well established musicians. 4pm.

The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 15TH DA KIDNEY DA KINE DAY Y - Sat. Apr 15. Enjoy the National Kidneyy Founnnual dation of Hawaii’s 12th annual ith Da Kidney Da Kine Day with family fun including free com-prehensive kidney screening, body measurements, blood pressure, glucose analysis and more. There will be live entertainment, exhibits, wellness fair and keiki corner. 10am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahunlui); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

ing the beats of the drums, learn new steps and moves with this great teacher. $10. 11am. Pahu Creations, (870 Hali‘imaile Rd., Makawao); 808-385-2642; Pahumaui.com

the basics, and fundamentals of hula movement, as well as language and culture appreciation. 4:15pm.

Wisdom Flow Studios, (95 Makawao Ave.); 808205-0908; WisdomFlowYoga.com

ECO FARM TOURS - Sat. Apr 15. Join in an educational tour of permaculture design features. $20-25. 4pm. Ahimsa Sanctuary Farm, (4505 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-283-8057; Ahimsasanctuaryfarm.com

OUTLETS OUTDOOR MARKET - Wed. Apr 19.

The Market will feature chef demonstrations, live music, hula show and cultural activities. Maui farmers and artisans will feature locally-grown produce, handmade goods, creative crafts, apparel, island artwork and more. The Outlets retailers will also host a sidewalk sale with special sales and promotions.

Get a free parking validation with any purchase from a market vendor. 4pm. Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8277; Outletsofmaui.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 16TH HA‘A HEO O MAUI - Sun. Apr 16. Enjoy a traditional Hawaiian hula performance by Ha‘a Heo o Maui on the mall’s center stage. 11am.

Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com FREE ZUMBA - Sun. Apr 16. Get your sweat on with Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit. Free. 9am.

Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit at Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-344-7122; Hotlavadancefit.com

MONDAY, APRIL 17TH SALSA DANCE CLASS - Mon. Apr 17. Maui dance enthusiasts and Latin music lovers can take salsa dance classes with Demian and Lasensua, singles p welcome. Beginners class starts and couple at 6pm with Intermediate class to follow at 6:45p 6:45pm. $10 per class, $15 per couple couple. 6pm. Makawao Union Chu Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Ma Makawao); 808-579-9261; M Makawaounionchurch.org

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T TUESDAY, APRIL 18TH

GO GREEN RECYCLE G - Tue. Apr 18. Every th third Saturday through Ju June 2017, residents may brin bring recyclables to bins set u up in the parking lot. Recyclable cyclables will be accepted at no the will be no redemption charge, there H payments for HI-5 recyclables dropped off at this site. Go online for a list of acceptable recyclables. 9am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; MalamaMauiNui.org

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YU-GI-OH CARD SESSION SION ion at Maui Sat. Apr 15. Free card session Toy Works. 3pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com FRIENDS OF HOT RODS AND CLASSIC CARS Sat. Apr 15. View Maui’s hottest hot rods and classic cars in the north parking lot. 5pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com WEST AFRICAN DANCE WITH QUINCEY - Sat. Apr 15. Live drumming. Have fun follow-

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19TH KEIKI ALOHA HULA CLASS - Wed. Apr 19. Keiki Aloha Hula brings the aloha, and the love of Hawaiian dance to the kids ages 7 to 12 of upcountry in a non-competitive, creative, nurturing environment. This is a fun class where students will learn

LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI CANE AND CANOE AT MONTAGE KAPALUA - Thu, Piilani Arias 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Kapali Keahi 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Daniel Querubin and Dayan Kai 5:30-9pm; Sun, Joseph Chee 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, Kincaid Kipahu 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Kalani Smythe 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Fri, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Mon, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Wed, Tori Dixon Band 2-5pm; (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988; CaptainJacksMaui.com CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Fri, Joe Benedet 4:30-7:30pm; Fri, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Sat, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Sun, Scot Freeman 8-11pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-7:30pm; Mon, Evan Shulman 8-11pm; Tue, Scott Freeman 4:307:30pm; Tue, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 4:30-7:30pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com CLIFF DIVE GRILL AT SHERATON MAUI - ThuWed, Local Live Entertainment 6-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:3010pm; Fri, Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com DOWN THE HATCH - Thu, Noa Zeb 10:30am12:30pm; Fri, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; Sat, Kendall and The Armadillo 10:30am12:30pm; Mon, Ian Galleisky 10:30am-12:30pm; Tue, Jason Macapulay 10:30am-12:30pm; Wed, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com

APRIL 13, 2017 25

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SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SHEARWATER TAVERN 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 793-2324

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S. Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WHAT ALES YOU 1913 S Kihei Rd. - 214-6581

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Garrett Probst and Keali’i Lum 6-8:30pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana 3-5pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; Mon, Danyel Alana and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Malanai 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; Dukesmaui.com HULA GRILL - Thu, Kealii Lum and Friends 2-5pm; Thu, Damon Parillo and Friends 6-9pm; Fri, Ma’a 2-5pm; Sat, Danyel Alana and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Josh Lum 2-5pm; Wed, Danyel Alana 2-5pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Roy Kato and Kamuela Hamakua 6-9pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636; Hulagrillkaanapali.com JAPENGO AT HYATT REGENCY MAUI Thu-Wed, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Japengomaui.com JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Mon, Mel and Sound Lab 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; Javajazzmaui.com KA‘ANAPALI SHORES BEACH CLUB RESTAURANT - Fri, Harry Troupe 3-6pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 6-9pm; (3445 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Lahaina); 808-667-2211.

KIMO’S - Thu, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Willie K 9-11pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:309:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700; Lahainapizzaco.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Josh Kahula and Dave of ‘Nuff Sedd’ 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sun, ‘Kilohana’ Merv Oana and Duane Feig 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret Roback, Josh Kahula and Roy Kato 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com LONGHI’S - Thu, Summer Macedo and Shawn McLauglin 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Brian and Meryl 5:30-7:30pm; Sun, Two Cats 6-9pm; Mon, Chad Kaya 5:30-7:30pm; Tue, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5:30-7:30pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Fri, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Sat, Gabe and Austin 10am-1pm; Sun, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Sun, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolf 3-5pm; Mon, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Tue,

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Nestor Ugale, 5pm

Damien Awai 5pm & Joe Chee 10pm

Joe Chee 5pm & Marc Dumalata 10pm

Vitamin D, 10pm

MON & TUE- Mondo Kane 5pm, WED- Kanoa 5pm

Jamie Gallo, 4-6pm, DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini & Ynot, 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ Kamikazee 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4pm, Sunday Lounge w/ DJ Joralien, 10pm

MON- Kanoa 4pm, DJ Big Mike 10pm, TUE- Jon Bowser 4-6pm, DJ Salvo 10pm, WED- Natalie Nicole 4pm, DJ Lobstah 10pm

Lady Dlishz’s Maragarita Specials

Homestead, no cover

Free Pool all day

Mary’s & Mimosas & SIN

MON-Martini Monday, TUE- $2 Tuesday w/ free pool all day, WED- Whiskey Wed, karaoke & free pool 6pm-close

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Sunburn, $5 cover, 8-12pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

WED- Louise ambert & Kurt Lee, 7pm

Karaoke, 8:30pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

Jason Arbilla, 7-9pm

Marc Dumalata, 7-9pm

Erica Ambrin, 7-9pm

Natalie Nicole, 7-9pm

MON- no music, TUE- Steve Norton 7-9pm, WED- Jon Bowser 7-9pm

Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Tue, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com PACIFIC’O ON THE BEACH - Fri, The Armadillo 4:30-6:30pm; Sat, David King 4:30-6:30pm; (505 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-4341; Pacificomaui.com PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL AT WESTIN KA‘ANAPALI RESORT - Thu, Live Music 6-9pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com/dining/pailolo PAU HUAKA‘I TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com PI ARTISAN PIZZERIA - Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Pi808.com PINEAPPLE GRILL - Sat, Codae 200 3-6pm; Sun, Codae 3-6pm; (200 0; Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600; Pineapplegrillmaui.com PIONEER INN - Thu, Greg di Piazza 5-8pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Eleniki 5-8pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-3636; Pioneerinnmaui.com RELISH OCEANSIDE BAR T AT WESTIN MAUI RESORT uiz - Thu-Wed, Braddah Keoki Ruiz kwy.); 6:30-9pm; (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); com/din808-667-2525; Westinmaui.com/dining/relish-oceanside

808-874-8990; Cheeseburgernation.com COW PIG BUN - Wed, Jazz Metropolis with Lee Norris 5-8pm; (535 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-875-8100; Cowpigbun.com DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Fri, Natalie Nicole Band 7-9pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-8pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-8749299; Diamondsicebar.com GANNON’S - Thu, Ricardo Dioso 5:30-7:30pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Thu, Jim Spector 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Sal Godinez Band 5-8pm; Sat, Neto Peraza 5:30-7:30pm; Sun, Island Soul Dance Party 5-8pm; Wed, Jim Spector 5:30-7:30pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com

ADD YOUR OWN EVENTS ONLINE

MAUI BR BREWING COMPANY Tue, El Elaine Ryan 6-8pm; Sun, Randa Randall Rospond 5-8pm; (605 Lipo Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-21330 3002; Mauibrewingco.com

M MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Dat Guyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi and Chad 4-6pm; Thu, Louis and Lewis 7-9pm; Fri, Stay E EZ 1-3pm; Sat, Ron Kuala laua 1-3pm; Sat, An Den 44-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospo spond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and T The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Dat Guyz 4-6pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7 7-9pm; Mon, Josh Kahula 7 9 T 7-9pm; Tue, Oh Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Wed, Damien and Brian 1-3pm; Wed, Alika 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com/wailea

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SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT AT NAPILI KAI RESORT - Thu, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; Fri, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Lahaina); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com THE DIRTY MONKEY - Thu-Wed, Guest Musician 3-6pm; (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-419-6268; Thedirtymonkey.com

SOUTH MAUI BOTERO LOUNGE AT GRAND WAILEA - ThuSat, Contemporary Hawaiian Music 5-10pm; (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com/experience/dine/botero-lounge CHEESEBURGER ISLAND STYLE - Thu, Mark Burnett 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.);

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Pat Simmons Jr. 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Soul Kitchen Big Band 7-9pm; Wed, Willie K 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Pat Simmons Jr. 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:15-6:15pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - Thu-Wed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-868-3247; Ohanaseafoodgrill.com PITA PARADISE - Sat, David Wolf 5:308pm; Sun, Phil and Angela Benoit 6:30-9pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com

SHEARWATER TAVERN - Thu, Nestor Ugale 5-7pm; Thu, Kanoa 5-7pm; Fri, Damien Awai 5-7pm; Fri, Joe Chee Jr. 10-10pm; Sat, Joe Chee Jr. 5-7pm; Sat, Marc Dumalata 10pm12am; Sun, Vitamin D 5-7pm; Mon, Mondo Kane 5-7pm; Tue, Mondo Kane 5-7pm; (1279 S Kihei Rd.); 808-793-2324; Shearwatermaui.com SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com THE RESTAURANT AT HOTEL WAILEA - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808879-2224; Hotelwailea.com/rhw WHAT ALES YOU - Thu, Jason Arcilla 7-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-6581; WhatAlesYouMaui.com

CENTRAL MAUI BEACH BUMS MA‘ALAEA - Fri, Mike Finkiewicz and Tom Cherry 5-8pm; Fri, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com KAHILI RESTAURANT - Thu, Brian and Meryl 4-5:30pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Thu-Wed, Local Live Music 5-8pm; (355 E Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Kahuluialehouse.com QUEEN KA‘AHUMANU CENTER - Tue, Farrington High School Band 6-7pm; (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com SEASCAPE MA‘ALAEA RESTAURANT - Fri, Kaulike Pescaia 5-7:30pm; (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-5149-3071; Mauioceancenter.com/dine

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm; (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323; Cdamaui.com CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON - Thu, Mark Johnstone & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Charley’s Live Band 7-10pm, Tue, Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ryan Robinson 6:308:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm; (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808579-8989; Flatbreadcompany.com

APRIL 13, 2017 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Use your inside voice, Aries. Now is not to the time to enthusiastically proclaim to the heavens and the entire neighborhood–well, anything. Keep all of that stuff to yourself at the moment. A little intriguing mystery can go a long way, and even though many people (including myself) find it endearing how you wear your heart on your sleeve, it doesn’t always behoove you to show that off. So, mum’s the word, my exuberant friend. Wait until people are clamoring (or even begging) to find out what’s going on inside you. Believe me, it won’t take long.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Don’t be a tourist this week, Taurus. Tourists storm a city for a day or a week, see “all” the sights, then split.

They rarely veer from their guidebooks, and never penetrate the surface of a place (or the people there), except, occasionally, by accident. I expect more from you then that, especially as you’re never satisfied with the merely superficial. So why would you settle for that now? Sure, it’d take a lot more effort, time, and energy from you to crack the veneer you’re being presented with. But you’re not especially lazy, at least when you know the rewards are worth it. Well, baby, these are.

as it once was, but it’s not impossible. Maybe the years, instead of washing away the remnants of that onceglorious span, have heaped upon it so much debris that the river is traversable again. Perhaps whoever’s on the other side has been secretly repairing the thing, opening the way to a renewed connection. Maybe you’re surprised that you even want that connection–but you do, don’t you? If there’s even a chance that some good will come of it, this week’s the time to find out.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: B–September 2016 2: D–2023 3: C–D.T. Fleming Beach Park

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Personally, I don’t care how often you delude yourself, or how badly. That’s your shit, and your business. When I start giving a crap is when your selftrickery affects those who are counting on you to be what you say you’ll be, and do what you say you’ll do.

It sucks for them when all those promises are based on an illusion you can’t let go of, or carry through with when the time comes. They’re left up Shit Creek, paddle-less, while you race downstream out of sight, waving apologetically. That’s when I get pissed off.

You have a many tireless advocates and admirers (including me). But If you don’t come through this time around, don’t count on many of them sticking around.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Backwards is the new forwards. It’s true; not only will straight lines and linear routes not get you to your destination, they’re likely to carry you further from it this week. Weirdly, this is what your oft-ignored intuition has been saying, but you’ve steamrolled over it in favor of cold hard logic lately, which, unfortunately for you, is dead wrong. Trust your gut. Your best move right now may be to back off or even head in the opposite direction from your apparent goal. You don’t necessarily need to move incredibly far or fast, but creating some space between you and what you want might be all you need, ironically, to bring it within reach.

Stop sweating it out. You’re acting crazy, and most unlike yourself, skulking in your hiding place like a scared little mouse and waiting to see if the cat’s noticed you yet. Where did you learn that kind of caution or fear? Unlearn it, fast. We need you bold and outrageous. We need you seeking and speaking the truth, without dreading the consequences. So come out, come out, wherever you are. You know you’d be discovered, sooner or later–your hiding place isn’t that good. So why now come charging out of it now, while you still have your pride, rather than be dragged out of it later, without?

VOTED BEST

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Just roll over and show your belly. You’re done with fighting, aren’t you? Well, here’s the solution: give ground. Surrender. You’ll probably be surprised by how pleasurable and easy it is, and not as much of a sacrifice as you’re making it out to be. You’ll certainly, overall, be better off. Of course, if you don’t like my answer, you can keep up your futile struggle and wallow along in pointless misery. But just admit: aren’t you doing so out of principle and stubbornness, not out of any real passion for “the cause,” whatever that might be?

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Do it right. Half-assed jobs won’t cut it anymore. And when you’re looking to bring something or someone new into your life, go for quality. It might cost you more (on a few levels), but only in the short run. In the long run, redoing what you’ve done, or acquiring multiple replacements for the crappy version you got, will cost you more time, energy and money, and cause you a lot of grief, besides. I know it’s hard to justify going those extra lengths–but only when you’re shortsighted. In the big picture, going for anything but the best is simply a mistake.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

It’s like your beloved, carefully-tended garden got invaded by mushrooms. The fungi are virtually immune to weed-killers; whatever would destroy them would also wreak havoc on the plants you actually want there. So something has polluted whatever you’d planned. Fighting it, however, isn’t the answer, as there’s no realistic way to do so. Why not accept it? Most mushrooms won’t actually hurt a garden (except aesthetically) and neither will this visitor into your life (no matter how unwelcome). Can you accept what you can’t change? Or would you rather throw away the entire garden, plants and all?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

This week’s surprise: you may be able to still use crumbled, broken, or burnt bridges to cross rivers. Sure, the path isn’t as smooth and easy or perhaps pleasurable

Get tied up this week, Cap. You need to lose control, badly, and I’m afraid the only way you’ll do it is by having no choice. Let someone else have their way with you. Let them push you a little, stretch you a bit. You’ve gotten a bit stiff and inflexible in recent months. I know you know someone with just the right mix of compassion, mischief, and a streak of sadism. Let them do you some good (and have fun in the process). You should know by now that you don’t always know what’s best for you (even if you do, most of the time). Let someone else know (and do) what’s best for you this week.

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AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Mash it up this week, Aquarius. Originally the term mash-up referred to two or more elements from different pieces of music laid over each other to create something new, but nowadays a mash-up can take this basic concept and apply it to any form of art (Google the Seuss-Poe mash-up, Horton Hears a Heart, for an example). What layers or fragments of your life can you make into something new by combining them in surprising ways? This could involve introducing disparate groups of friends, or bringing your lover home to meet the fam, or sneaking your dog into work, or simply wielding your wicked sense of humor in places it’s never been. I think you’ll be surprised at how well this works.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Look for humor in unexpected places this week, because you’ll be hard-pressed to find it in your usual haunts. You’re just not getting tickled by your old standbys at the moment, so it’s time to seek a few new kicks. I’m not talking about giving the stand-up comedy club a try, but instead finding some heretofore-unexplored form of amusement. A new game to play, perhaps, on whatever level that idea appeals to you. It’s not that your old sources of fun and play have exhausted themselves; it’s just that you need to widen your repertoire ever so slightly. Why object, anyway? When you expand upon what can amuse you, your life can only become more fun, right?

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

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