9.38 The Peace Tournament, March 16, 2006, Volume 9, Issue 38, MauiTime

HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, SIGN LANGUAGE, THE MAUI 10, CUNNING LINGLE, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH AND NEAT AMALGAMS ■ MARCH 16, 2006 ■ VOLUME 9 ■ ISSUE 38 ■ MAUITIME.COM ■ FREE EVERY THURSDAY ■

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MARCH 16, 2006

CONTENTS

ADDRESS: 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793-1742 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446

VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 38

Friday, March 24 Next week’s guest Vernelle Edwards... famed author of that wonderful book “Missionary” Call and be a part of the show

•The Peace Tournament

h Is there an UPside to all this Madness?

A story of murder, polo and religious hatred from our man in Pakistan – by Barukh Shalev

Go to www.ThePetitionsite.com PLEASE save those 350,000 baby harp seals from mass slaughter on this Mar. 29. They serve no food for man or anything for mans conservation...

PLEASE HELP Stop The Madness in Canada!!

MAUI COUNTY •LEtters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

Call in!

808-242-7800

•LC Watch •Missing the Bus

Fridays 1pm to 2pm on KAOI 1110 AM

Will Upcountry finally get public bus service?

- by Jared Libby

•Coconut WIreless •Overheard

7 8

•The Maui 10

9

•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

Position (& favorite Irish thing) Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com (Michael Collins) Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (The Pogues)

•Cunning LIngle

Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Jared Libby, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Michele Furmato, Sean M. Hower, Jessica Pearl Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com (leprechauns) Production Assistants: Wendy Higa, David Spink Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (Frank McCourt) Advertising Coordinator: Ashley Fitch ashley@mauitime.com (Aran Islands) General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (Guinness) Admin. Exec: Kimberly L. Welch klw@mauitime.com (four-leaf clovers)

•SEduced by the Sauce Bocalino makes us swoon - by Samantha Campos and Kim Welch

13

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Calendar Editor: Heidi King heidi@mauitime.com (Colin Farrell)

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•Dining Listings Island-wide hours, locations and price ranges

DA KINE CALENDAR 17 •This Week’s Picks 20 •Film: YOu Don’t KNow What V for Vendetta ( ) – by Cole Smithey

21 •Movies & Times 22 •A&E: The Shantyman Trevor Jones, an oral history 23 •The Grid & Calendar Listings

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You know my Shtick... if you’d like to sponsor this show please call me @ 667-6968, it’s the sponsors that keep me afloat and keep me fighting and keep me being the UPside to all this madness... and I’m Pau for now.

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR

Give a smile to someone you love!

• • • • • •

SHARP KID This week my mother and I were reading the Movie Capsules in your newspaper and realized that your writers, Heidi King and Anthony Pignataro, don’t know how to summarize the movies. For example, the Date Movie summary sounds like the writer never even saw the movie: “It looks hilarious and usually spoof movies don’t impress me. (HK)” The attempted movie summary here sounds as if the writer wrote the capsule while staring at the poster outside Maui Mall. I wish they would summarize the movie after they actually see it and not be so biased on what it “looks” like but rather what it “is” like. As the old saying goes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

-Zeph Colombatto, Haiku, age 16

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Calendar Editor Heidi King responds: As a matter of fact, we do write the movie capsules before we’ve actually seen the film. While we’d love to see all the movies in advance, time and financial constraints prevent us from doing so.

HOT DOG! I just wanted to commend you on your hugely enlightening article on Maui’s Top 10 Hot Dogs (March 2, 2006). I learned so much! With high-quality news coverage like that, I need look no further for my news. Perhaps next week you could do a piece on Maui’s top 10 places to eat a steaming pile of shit!

-Jason King, via email

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(Editor’s note: the following came to us as an Eh Brah! submission. It doesn’t really work for that column, which anonymously denounces individual malcontents and parasites, but nonetheless clearly deserves publication. Enjoy.)

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Eh Brah, this little message goes out to all the men of this lovely island who would rather get drunk and stoned than make love to their gorgeous, fun, smart, sexy women.

Now, what is up with that? Besides myself, who is more than happy and available for some good lovin’ pretty much ALL the time, I know a handful of other young women who have this complaint. Why are you boys getting drunk when you could be having great sex?

That’s fine if you want both and can manage both but just realize—some young women get tired of waiting around. I mean, really— what’s the point of a serious relationship when it’s lacking in intimacy? We want to be desired, kissed, touched and even a little naughty and nasty at times! And if you don’t know what you’re doing—it’s our pleasure to teach you. So, don’t be one of those guys who doesn’t put out often enough. Us women are sexual beings and love to be pleased and please our men as well. Believe me—we will all benefit from more wonderful, happy, healthy, phenomenal SEX!!!

-Haiku Goddess

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

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EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

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You hypocrite! I sure hope your wife finds out what a selfish bastard you really are!

Not only did you cheat on her here, but twice before in Seattle! And I’m not even mentioning all the female “friends” you’ve made here. And on top of all of it, you still have the nerve to call yourself a Christian! Everybody thinks you’re such a nice guy—if they only knew what a liar you really are. I hope your wife takes you for every penny you have, puts your balls in a vice and squeezes the life from your pathetic ass. Oh, and I hope you die a slow and painful death from the STD you’ve contracted. Have a nice day, asshole.

MAUICOUNTY

BY JARED LIBBY JARED@MAUITIME.COM

Missing the Bus

LC Watch The LC Five

Will upcountry finally get public bus service?

It’s that time again! Time to fill vacancies on the Maui County Liquor Commission and Board of Adjudication!

We’ve got a great crop of applicants this year, including both old faces and some new ones as well. There are five this year because Edwin Vila never showed up to the Liquor Commission seat he got appointed to last year (there’s also going to have to be a sixth applicant to take Lance Collins’ nowvacated seat on the Adjudication Board, but no word on who he or she might be). All the following are still subject to County Council approval, but let’s get to it:

For many years the most reliable form of public transportation for Upcountry residents has been sticking out your thumb. But an upcoming budget proposal

by Maui County’s Department of Transportation (DOT) could finally change that.

According to County Director of Transportation Kyle Ginoza, his department had developed a plan to bring bus service to Kula, Haiku, Pukalani and Paia

by July, with regular daily runs three years into the proposal. Funding for the plan would be included in the fiscal year 2007 budget and be subject to County Council approval.

But residents will have to wait until the budget numbers are officially released to see how—and how much—money will be allocated and approved for making public bus service a reality. Nonetheless, Ginoza said he remains in support of expanding bus routes.

“I do feel commuter routes from various areas of upcountry are warranted,” Ginoza said. “I have been a proponent of taking the routes from Upcountry to Kahului and Wailuku, then to South and

Liquor Commission West Maui.”

County Councilman Mike Molina, whose residency area includes Makawao, Haiku and Paia, said it’s time the county makes an effort to meet the transportation needs upcountry. Aside from specialized services provided by Maui Economic Opportunity (MEO), “public transportation in the Upcountry region is non-exis-

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tent,” said Molina.

Citing recent DOT studies, Molina said the need for bus service is evident, but perhaps not as great as some other areas of Maui.

“Although the demands might not be as great as in other areas, we cannot continue to neglect the needs of our upcountry citizens.”

Molina said many might not think Upcountry bus service is economically feasible but he feels the county should consider subsidizing the service to get it off the ground. Once ridership has increased, the service would become self-sufficient and no longer need government funding. “If the county helps to subsidize other routes, then why not do it for all communities?” he asked.

In any case, the benefits of Upcountry bus service would be numerous, Molina added.

Families could save money, reducing dependency on gasoline and wear on vehicles. Busses could also help reduce traffic congestion and “provide a consistent source of transportation for those who do not have the ability to own or drive their own car,” he said.

Should Ginoza’s plan present a sound and plausible roadmap for developing Upcountry bus service, it will likely have Molina’s approval.

“I can support such a plan,” Molina said. “It places a high priority on improving the quality of life for our community and citizens.”

Some Upcountry residents will be eagerly waiting the fate of the DOT’s budget proposal. If it works out like many hope, the bus is the only thing they’ll be waiting for in the future. MTW

RON MCOMBER: My job’s going to be a lot easier now that this guy’s back in the LC. He spent five extremely colorful years on the LC’s Adjudication Board (2000-2005) shaking his head dismissively at licensees hauled up on charges of serving minors or drunks, so it’ll be fun to watch him in the mellower Liquor Commission setting.

EDWIN “KEN” YOKOUCHI: Another Adjudication Board vet, Ken’s spent the last two years as vice chairman of that panel.

Part of the famous Yokouchi clan on Maui, Ken kills bugs for a living as a Terminix branch manager.

ARSENE “BLACKIE” GADARIAN: Yes, this is Blackie from Blackie’s Machine Shop in Lahaina. Fresh off five years on the Maui County Board of Ethics, Blackie is just a straight shooter. “I have no friends in the County government,” he wrote on his application. “I have no vested interests. I do not belong to civic or professional groups. I will be unbiased.”

Adjudication Board DONALD FUJII: Another LC vet, this time from the Liquor Commission, where he spent the last year as chairman. “Having retired as a government employee with over twenty-five years of service, I am familiar with most of the county’s operations and the need for volunteers who provide the public’s perspectives,” he offered on his official application.

GLENN KUNITAKE: A veteran of two county boards—Kula Agricultural Park and the Board of Variance and Appeals— Kunitake wants a third. A banker by trade, he’s also a member of the Wailuku Main Street Association and Mental Health Kokua.

-Anthony Pignataro

Let us prove it to you — make an appointment today.

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8 Four of five U.S. states prefer to elect their attorneys general rather than trust their appointments to a governor. Hawai’i has always sat quietly in that minority, but may be changing—assuming SB 2148, introduced by state Senator Colleen Hanabusa, gets passed. That bill would put the attorney general job on the ballot.

Governor Linda Lingle—who appointed Mark Bennett, our current AG—opposes it, which isn’t surprising. But what is surprising is the general feeling that putting the AG before the voters will cleanse the position of political influences. The Attorney General will have to campaign like any other elected official, and that means raising huge amounts of money from people like prison guard unions, police benevolent societies and private prison builders and operators. The question then is do we want our top law enforcement officers beholden to a bunch of scary pro-jail special interests or a scary pro-jail governor? No need to rush—I’ll wait… Oh, and today the U.S. House of Representatives overwhelmingly voted to bend over to the food industry and remove many warning labels from the food we eat. You know, labels like those warning consumers there’s a lot of lead in the candy or arsenic in the water. The U.S. Senate’s expected to do the same. Hey, what did you people expect when you voted for Republicans to take over Congress?

THURSDAY, MARCH 9 It seems terribly ironic, but according to today’s Honolulu Advertiser, the state’s largest funeral-home operator has allegedly ripped off as many as 50,000 living people. The problem seems deceptive-

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

ly simple: RightStar—the group of companies that operates cemeteries throughout Hawai’i, including Maui Memorial Park— has been under civil and criminal investigation since 2004 for alleged “mismanagement” of Pre-Need Trusts (burial plots bought by people who haven’t died yet). In fact, a recent court-ordered examination of the RightStar books is unusually harsh in its judgment, alleging, “the Pre-Need Trusts have been routinely misused, mismanaged and looted by those who operated the RightStar companies,” according to the Advertiser. The court papers allege between $20 million and $30 million has gone missing—more exact numbers won’t be available until the court orders a “contractby-contract examination.” RightStar officials have previously denied committing any wrongdoing but didn’t respond to the Advertiser.

It’s taken a while, but Maui County Councilman Dain Kane has finally made up his mind to run for mayor. Reportedly referring to himself and using the Royal We, Kane announced that his single greatest push would be water, which is ironic considering that his many opponents—Council woman Charmaine Tavares, former Mayor James “Kimo” Apana and incumbent Mayor Alan Arakawa, among others who don’t carry such weighty (for Maui) names—will be sorely tempted to identify Kane with alcohol. But that’s still months away, and for his part, Kane says he won’t try to duck his recent DUI conviction on Kauai. He also says he’s a natural for the job because he gets along so well with people. “I still have great relationships with all of my colleagues,” The Maui News quoted him as saying, “for the most part.”

SATURDAY, MARCH 11

“PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I PUT LIPSTICK ON. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN HERE.” -Teri Lawrence on the KAOI radio show On the Upside with Teri, March 10

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Still trying to grasp all the subtleties and nuances contained in this, the last line of a March 9 Associated Press story on a recent visit by President George W. Bush and his wife Laura to hurricane-ravaged Louisiana: “The Bushes also stopped at a waterfront home that is being rebuilt and the president picked up a hammer to install a light fixture.”

SUNDAY, MARCH 12 The Honolulu Advertiser kicks off Sunshine Week by informing readers that they pretty much have the worst access to state government records in all the U.S. Not that there aren’t plenty of campaign finance documents online, because there are, but the story makes clear that the state just doesn’t seem to list public access to the government papers—which we’ve all paid for, by the way—very high on its hierarchy of priorities. And this is why I hate Sunshine Week. We in the media spend a week

crying into our soup about how government is getting increasingly secretive about the most arcane matters—which they are, don’t get me wrong—and what happens? Nothing, if we’re lucky. If we’re unlucky, we get a slew of officials who come out and cry with us and promise us to make things better, which we dutifully cheer until we hear that their proposed legislation has died for lack of support.

MONDAY, MARCH 13 Our elected officials still let us see proposed laws, and state Representative Brian Schatz (D, 25th District) wants us to pay attention to a new one, SB 2360. Calling for “Immediate Action,” he—or rather, his press release— announced today that the House Water, Land and Ocean Resources Committee will hear legislation making ship owners accountable for when their ships run aground on reefs and such. In fact, the bill would—and I know this sounds crazy—make it possible for the state to move in and remove a wrecked ship “immediately” and then drop all associated costs on the back of the owner. “Every second that a ship sits grounded is another second that we risk permanent damage to a reef—whether that damage is physical or from leaking fuel and refuse,” said Schatz in his release. Every second? How about every year? A steel-hulled sailboat has been ground into the reef in front of Lahaina’s Front Street since Halloween, 2004.

TUESDAY, MARCH 14 This morning the Honolulu Advertiser quotes state Representative Sylvia Luke (D, 26th District) as saying Hawai’i really needs a “task force” to look over our open government law and decide if we need to make it better. “What I would like to do is start a conversation about what the sunshine law is,” Luke told the paper.

Of course, according to the paper she wanted to start that conversation immediately, without even letting her allies really dig into her proposed legislation. After trying to rush her bill into a hearing this week, open government activists succeeded in getting her to postpone any action until March 21.

Anthony Pignataro once ran for the office of town dog catcher, but lost to a gentleman who knew what he was doing. MTW

MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

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And good ol’ Maui Land is back in the top two. It’s hard to deny their influence when the front page of the March 8, 2006 Maui News has a story drooling over the company’s plans to sell their 84 planned Kapalua Bay units—built on the bones of their old Kapalua Bay Hotel—for a whopping $4 million each. That’s $336 million total! “The [company’s] target audience,” Maui News reporter Harry Eagar dryly noted, “is millionaires wanting second homes.” And Wailuku Water Co. (formerly Wailuku Agribusiness) slips another notch on news that it’s stopped issuing hiking permits for people who want to visit Swinging Bridges. This would be bad, but company president Avery Chumbley recently told the Honolulu Advertiser that just one percent of visitors were bothering to get a permit in the first place. MTW

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD GOOD EATING The Guo-Li-Zhuang opened recently in Beijing, exclusively serving delicacies made with animal penises and testicles, exploiting the traditional Chinese belief that such foods enhance virility. Women can prosper, as well, because penis is good for the skin, according to a nutritionist cited in a February London Daily Telegraph dispatch. Showcase dishes include “Dragon in the flame of desire” (yak) and the “hotpot” (six types of penis plus four of testicle). The most expensive is Canadian seal penis, priced at the equivalent of about $400.

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111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului 871-1141 •www.ukes.com

8

MARCH 16, 2006

NEWS

Seventh-grader Jasmine Roberts became a celebrity of sorts in February when her hometown Tampa Tribune published results of her winning science-fair entry, which concluded that the drinkingwater ice of several local fast food restaurants contains more bacteria (including some E. coli) than the same restaurants’ toilet water. She used a laboratory at the University of South Florida’s Moffitt Cancer Center, where she is a professor’s volunteer assistant.

Frank Traina’s attempted armed robbery of a Chinese restaurant in Levittown, N.Y., in December went awry when the owner realized that Traina’s realistic-looking gun was leaking water from the barrel.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

turns her body to expose herself, after which mating is accomplished in a matter of seconds, followed by the male’s abrupt and permanent departure from her life.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS The latest product for routine U.S. outsourcing is sperm, according to a November report by Wired.com. In a program established by the highly regarded Dr. Sanford Rosenberg of Richmond, Va., a potential father’s sperm is shipped to a lab in Bucharest, Romania, to fertilize eggs of local women, with the resultant embryos frozen and returned to the United States for implanting in the mother, at about half the domestic price for the procedure.

IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEE! Prominent interior designer June Matheson, 72, pleaded guilty in January to poisoning several majestic trees bordering Stanley Park in Vancouver, British Columbia, just so they would no longer obstruct her view of the Pacific Ocean (and to enhance the value of her home, which she was preparing to sell). And in Media, Pa., Colleen Lacombe, 34, was sentenced in December to two years’ house arrest for embezzling $325,000 from the First Church of Lansdowne, whose charity and repair-fund money she used to buy a second home and to get breast implants.

With the help of relatives, she made full restitution to the church.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES WEIRD ANIMAL MATING RITUALS A male beluga whale signals his urge by, basically, crashing into a female to draw her attention to his aroused state, according to a February Chicago SunTimes report from the city’s Shedd Aquarium. If the female is also ready, she

Professors at England’s University of Bath, studying adolescents’ reactions to brand names, revealed in December an astonishing level of hatred and violence toward Barbie dolls. Many instances were reported of torture and mutilation of Barbie, including scalping, decapitation, burning and even microwaving. MTW

SPRING BREAK!

Horse Camps

At Jillian’s Place

Cunning Lingle

Piiholo Stables

• Shaded indoor riding arena!

• Lovely, well-trained horses & ponies!

• Riding • Picnics • Horse Art • Games

What Governor Linda Lingle said in a March 7, 2006 press release on SB 3040:

Can you tell Lingle’s running for reelection? Has it become obvious yet? Far from hammering poor people, all SB 3040 does is give the state Legislature the option—when the state general fund has more than five percent of tax revenue for two consecutive fiscal years—to either return that money to the taxpayers in the form of a refund or deposit it in the emergency and budget reserve fund. Right now the law says the Legislature must refund the money to the taxpayers.

-Anthony Pignataro

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HT OVERNIG R A CH CAMP! M 6 24, 25, 2

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“This bill ignores the reality that thousands of people in our state live paycheck to paycheck and have difficulties paying for basic necessities… We cannot keep collecting taxes from people who are unable to afford to pay their rent, buy groceries or cover their electricity bills.”

(888) HONOLUA DINING

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Food Tents • Drink Specials Reserved VIP Buffet Dinner Free Shuttle 6pm - Midnight (Every Hour from Foodland)

All Day12 Noon Entertainment: Trevor Jones

Food Tents • $3 Drinks All Day

3pm Irish Jammers 5pm Maui Celtic Pipe and Drum Band 6:30 LAWA 8pm Crunch Pups 9pm Celtic tigers Tickets $20, $15 Advance

All Day Entertainment: 12 noon Purple Cats

No Cover before 4pm 1/2 price industry ticket First 50 paid at 4 PM get Free T’Shirts Best Leprechaun Contest Best Hat Contest

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Located in the Wharf Center • “Pancho & Lefty’s” Site

Doors open 11am

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2pm Dylan Donkin 4pm The Celtic tigers 7pm The Carroll Brothers 10pm - close Trevor Jones

across from the Banyon Tree (Aloha Cantina at the Wharf Cinema Center)

Free T-Shirts to First 50 at 2pm Best Leprechaun Contest Best Hat Contest

661-8881

omeone shot Ziauddin Rizvi twice on Jan. 13, 2005 at 1:46 p.m. on a quiet road near his home in the outskirts of Gilgit Town in Pakistan. The first bullet struck the left side of the Imam’s forehead, splattering brains and blood about the car he was riding in. The second bullet hit on the right side, parallel to his mouth. He died instantly.

“They drive here,” Manzoor Khan, a local journalist, explained excitedly to me. “And gun, bang, bang, bang, there.” He pointed at a line of trees obscuring the view of the Indus River. “They shoot from tree.”

The place where Rizvi was murdered was marked by a large rock set atop a cardboard box. There was an ordinariness to this landmark; it looked rather like common rubbish. On a corner, behind a sandbag barricade, a group of Pakistani soldiers eyed us wearily.

My guide pointed out the two stray bullets that had missed the intended target; one hit up high while the other went low to the ground, wildly off target.

One side of the road was fertile green fields, farmland; the other side of the road was dominated by a bright white wall. On the wall people had written belligerent, fluorescent calls for revenge and retaliation in beautiful Urdu script.

A light rain had begun and a cold wind swept across the plain, making the tall grass ripple hypnotically. It had started to rain.

S

he Gilgit polo grounds are located in between two mosques; one Shi’a, the other Sunni. The field was itself long, narrow and surrounded on both sides by tall concrete slabs. This is where spectators sit. One side was partitioned off with a green, chain-link fence; here shade, soft seats and a good view are found. Officers of the Pakistani army and foreign guests sat in this place.

This was an exhibition match, the last game of the “peace tournament.” A drooping banner hung at the entrance of the grounds read: ”Welcome! Gilgit Peace Tournament May 20-May 27.”

In the stands, I watched armed guards stand with loaded automatic guns, nervous fingers upon sensitive triggers. At the entrance, under the banner, a pick-up truck sat idling, with a large machine gun attached to the payload, golden bullets hung down like jewelry.

The sense of security these guns provide was artificial.

T

By Barukh Shalev

months. There was a problem, a mistake, rather, and there were more problems as a result. What we are saying to the people of Gilgit with this polo match is that it is time for reconciliation, to be able to come out and have a sporting old time.”

Ali was short with a kind face, bowl haircut and a beard. He was wearing a white Shalwaar Kameez under a distinguished looking navy blue sport coat.

“In addition, it is beneficial for tourism purposes,” he said. “As you may imagine, tourism has suffered greatly since these incidents. So, the tourists like to see polo and it can bring revenue and put a different face to Gilgit.

People go here, go there, then return home and say, ‘Okay, Pakistan is okay.’”

The match was between the police and the northern area Scouts.

“Ah,” Ali said, his face brightening. “You see, this is Bul-Bul, the captain of the Scouts.”

I looked down and saw a middle-aged, good-looking man being greeted by fans. He, too, was wearing a navy blazer. The only sign of his athleticism was his bottom half, brown boots, worn with white Polo-player pants.

“The admission is free,” Ali said. “We want all to come and enjoy.”

The game began. The band kept playing but the music was mere background noise, for everyone’s attention was locked onto the polo players.

Polo is a game of rapid, cruel action. Things move quickly, horses and people are hurt; struck by the heavy white calls or hit in the face by the mallets. During the game I saw players wiping blood from their faces.

The game had taken place at 4:30 and was interrupted

In the cosmic game of polo you are the ball The mallet’s left and right becomes your call He who causes your movements, your rise and fall He is the one, the only one, who knows it all.

-Omar Khayyam

A bullet won’t stop a bullet, nor shall it stop explosives concealed under clothing.

There had been violence in this place. Last January, the outspoken leader of the local Shi’ite community, Imam Ziauddin Rizvi, was assassinated, shot to death while riding in a car.

Sunnis were blamed and small-scale anarchy immediately followed; looting, arson, sectarian violence.

People died. The Pakistani army imposed a shoot-onsight curfew.

Walking through the small town, I saw artifacts of previous chaos. The property that surrounded the polo grounds had been looted, burned and had yet to be repaired. In order to get a better view of the polo matches, children climbed atop burnt wreckage of buildings.

A four-piece band played, two percussionists and two on reed horns. Children and adults walked around on the polo field. Amidst rhythmic clapping, a man in a white robe spun around and around.

The horses arrived from the northern entrance. The crowd stood up and cheered wildly. This is what the beginning of the polo game looked like.

I was watching the match with Husain Ali, the sports coordinator in charge of Pakistan’s northern frontier areas.

“The peace tournament is primarily to promote harmony among the people,” he said. “Because of some developments things are rather tense in this region, as you know.”

I asked him to be more specific.

“As you know, there have been some… problems here… in the northern areas…”

Problems?

“Yes, you know… some... how you can say?” he shrugged. “Violence, or, sectarianism within the recent

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by the call to prayer by the mosques on either side of the field. During this time the band ceased playing but the match continued, silently. The only sound to be heard was the low-rumble of horses running, kicking up dirt and the sharp, singular thwak of mallet hitting ball.

“The winner of this tournament shall go to Chitral for the championship game, in Shandur Pass,” Ali explained.

The ball had been hit out of bounds.

“Excuse me,” Ali said. Then he stood up, produced a fresh white ball and hurled it onto the yellow field. People cheered and children scrambled to get the old ball. he Shi’ite mosque was located at the Western end of the Polo grounds. It was a three-story, stone colored building with a turquoise minaret and a cool, dark prayer hall. The building was under reconstruction when I had visited.

The people in this place were tense. They confronted me. Young men, eyes wide with piety and displaced ambition blocked my way, wished to know my business.

They instructed me to sit and wait, that they would speak with the Imam and give me an answer within one hour.

A small crowd had surrounded me and accompanied me to a small waiting room, an office. They produced platters of snacks and beverages.

“It is illegal to speak with foreign journalists,” one told me. “Two months ago, there is German journalist and some people go to jail for speaking with them. The people are afraid. It is dangerous. The people don’t know you so they fear saying things that are anti-Pakistani.”

Ten minutes later a boy returned. He was holding a folded-up piece of paper. The Imam wished not to see me but had written me a message. In elegant, cursive Urdu, with English translation below, was the response from

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the acting Imam: “The Shi’as of Gilgit are demanding the government give them equal rights in government services. The government of Pakistan dispatches Sunnis to the northern areas to dominate the Shi’a, which results in sectarian conflict. Ziauddin started a movement for appropriate textbook curriculum for Shi’ite students according to their beliefs and faith. Instead of accepting his fair demand, the government made a conspiracy to kill him. We demand the Pakistani government arrest and hang those responsible.”

Ziauddin Rizvi lived in a large white house. His brother Razavi and the bereaved family live there now. Above the shady courtyard stood a large black flag, flapping in the wind.

Since the killing, an armed guard has been stationed at the home. He stood in front of the new bulletproof gate.

Death threats are common.

Around the property were pictures of the dead Imam plastered onto walls, in car windows, affixed to light sockets. His emotionless face surveyed outward with the pious confidence of a man who had predicted his own death.

I had recognized this martyr iconography among the promotional literature one sees among Palestinian Arabs. A face staring into the distance toward an unseen afterlife, head and shoulders crudely imposed onto an artificial sunset.

In the background there are clouds, birds and mountains.

It’s the same pose Ayatollah Khomeini had perfected in revolutionary Iran over 25 years before—the same sad and mournful eyes, black turban, pursed lips, beard.

Razavi Rizvi was sitting nonchalantly, shoeless and cross-legged on a couch, talking on an antique phone. He greeted me by enveloping my hands in a two-handed clasp. His hands were fat and warm.

After ritual civilities, we repaired into a spacious guest room. There were four open windows. No Western furniture, just carpets and a line of oblong pillows neatly lining the small room.

A woman appeared from behind a curtain silently depositing biscuits and tea at our feet. Enveloped within a tent-like chador, she appeared in the room almost as an apparition, wordlessly floating upon unseen feet; in and out.

A knot of men suddenly entered the room, grim faced, bearded, all wearing pistol holsters. I looked around the room: solemn faced women in black chadors. Armed, bearded men with guns; my mind flashed back to Khomeini saying, “There is no fun in Islam.”

My interpreter had been present but there was no need as Rizvi was an educated man, a literati who had both worked in the government and as a theologian. He spoke English and spoke it eloquently.

“Why was your brother killed?” I asked him.

A bristle of discomfort swirled about the room.

“Simple,” he said in Urdu, pausing briefly to collect his thoughts. “Because my brother was a challenge for the military regime of Pakistan. The Shi’ites of the area liked him and obeyed him. The government of Pakistan simply felt threatened by him. He was advocating for the rights of Shi’a and the people of Northern Pakistan to stand up for their legal rights. They were afraid he would become too powerful and unite the people... the Shi’a of the northern areas.”

“So,” I asked, “what you’re saying is that the government of Pakistan murdered your brother?”

“Of course!” he shouted in English, laughing. Then he coughed violently.

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“The Pakistani government and I.S.I (Pakistani Internal Security Services) were behind this. Only under the sponsorship of the Musharif regime could such a thing have occurred.”

He pointed at me, gaining momentum, the preacher in him coming out.

“The political and military administration of Pakistan are all Sunni. Rizvi was advocating to remove the antiShia curriculum in the schools of the northern area. We see this often from the Sunni—all Shi’a are infidel, kill Shi’a and get a house in heaven, Shi’a is a Jew. The government knows these things are occurring, it happens under their nose. They simply ignore it.”

“So what’s the solution?” I asked. “This is a small place, a mountain place. People have to get along, eventually.”

“Yes, yes,” he said, speaking English now. “We are negotiating... with the moderate… Sunni mullahs to maintain stability in this region. If the government, especially the I.S.I., wish to stop their sponsorship of the terrorist element, then our problem is solved. But the government is not sincere in its duties, the one who had killed my brother was arrested, now he walks free. He went to jail, but several days after, he is released.”

He was speaking in a singsong voice now. The men with guns shifted around nervously.

“The ones who are suspected killers don’t even go to trial,” Rizvi said, wagging his thick finger at the air. “They don’t even receive questioning, they walk free and are present in the city. The Sunni government of Pakistan has long been antagonistic toward us Shi’as. The reason behind this situation is to compel us to strike out so we can be labeled as extremists and malcontents... so they can say the Shi’a of the northern area are fundamentalists, extremists.”

Then Imam Rizvi softened his tone.

“We have lived under the robe of brotherhood for many years and it is my belief that we can continue to do so, but,” he said, pointing at the ceiling. “We Shi’as can only be silent for so long. The Pakistani government has taken no action against the Sunni extremists because they have plans to implement another Taliban-like regime here, in the northern areas after the shameful defeat in Afghanistan.”

“Whose defeat?” I asked.

“The radical Islamist groups,” he said sharply.

“The Sunnis and the government of Pakistan are the instigators here. That is something no peace tournament will fix.” MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 16, 2006

11

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661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina 12

MARCH 16, 2006

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BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS & KIM WELCH SAM@MAUITIME.COM

Seduced by the Sauce Bocalino makes us swoon Clearly, they were trying to impress us.

And it worked. The congenial escort to the bar was a good start; it was here where we first drank in our metropolitan surroundings and basked in the glory of a soulful soundtrack seemingly suited to our more sultry musical tastes.

While we gobbled our baked Brie on toast appetizer, washed down with an ideal Ketel One martini, we took note of the curious shape of the bar. Its glassy black surface curved bulbously at the corner, notched like the base of a violin, and split into two perpendicular lengths facing a mirrored wall with three meticulous rows of premium liquors, international beers, wine and—our favorite—Belgian Lambics.

Bocalino Bistro & Bar 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. Open nightly, 4 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. $$ Had we a second martini at that point, we could’ve deemed our increasing euphoria to be ethanol-related. But as it was, our senses were on full alert, only slightly abetted by the soft, candlelit glow of the bistro’s casually sophisticated, window-enclosed dining room.

We were in love already, with nary a flaming dish in sight.

Anxious to begin our feast, we were led to our table by a lovely, gracious woman named Monica. She suggested a glass of MezzaCorona Pinot Grigio to accompany our first course, a puffed pastry dough feuitte with mushroom cream sauce—a French specialty with Italian flavor. The pairing proved to be divine.

Monica then delivered an aromatic skillet of spicy shrimp scampi, as coincidentally, a live band—The New Project— began playing Toni Braxton’s “I Get So Hot.” You could say the sauce seduced us as we dipped our warm bread into the pan of tomato, onion, olive oil, parsley, lemon and roasted red pepper. Kim and I were grinning ear to ear and swaying gently— dizzy under the spell of Bocalino’s enticing food/wine/music combo.

Giddily gluttonous, we moved on to the next course, which featured two skillets of ravioli—one with a creamy pesto, the other with a perfectly balanced marinara.

We had a hazy interlude here, as our food swoon gave way to the sinking, slow motion feeling that we might not make it to dessert. But we mustered on, intent to solicit Louis Latour Chardonnay’s digestive properties on the ravioli.

And we hadn’t even gotten to our entrée yet.

We noticed the bar area had begun to fill up with a stylish, 30-something

crowd, some of whom made their way to the dance floor in silk halter tops and linen pants.

The disco ball spun lights around our table, prompting Monica to join us in singing Chaka Khan’s “Sweet Thang” into our pepper grinder.

But time came to a screeching halt when the Cioppino arrived.

A celestial radiance surrounded the immense skillet—or it could’ve been the disco lights, we’re not sure—of Cioppino, an Italian fish stew. A decidedly Mediterranean seafood and everything-but-the-kitchen-sink concoction was in this case made extravagant by the delectable appearance of Maine lobster, crab legs, opakapaka, shrimp, clams, scallops and mussels with celery and carrots in a white wine cream sauce.

Oh, Bocalino, you had us at Framboise.

MTW

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Kahili - Lunch with a view, served daily from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Or enjoy pupus 3-5 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with games. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. $ Koho Grill & Bar - American. Daily, 7 a.m.-10 p.m.

Bar stays open serving drinks, pupus & burgers only from 10-11 p.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take-out. Mo-Sa, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

52 N. Market Pl., Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - Warm, tasty doughnuts. Su-Th, 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fr-Sa, 5:30 a.m.-12 a.m. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Fast food. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ L&L Drive In - Local. Fr-Sa 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Su-Th 8 a.m.9 p.m. Wailuku Town Center, 242-1380.

Mama Ding’s Pasteles - Specialty breads and pastries.

Open 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 255 Alamaha, Kahului, 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin-American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Cool, quaint bar. Su-Th, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Fr-Sa 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ Marco’s Grill & Deli - Italian. Daily, 8 a.m.-10 p.m.

444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4446. $$ Matsu Restaurant - Japanese. Daily, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

161 Alamaha St., Kahului. 871-0822.

Maui Bake Shop - French bakery and deli. Su-Fr, 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sa, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 2092 Vineyard, Wailuku, 242-0064. $ Maui Coffee Roasters - Coffeehouse, deli. M-Fr 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-2877. $ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the people who call Hawai’i home. M-Th, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Fr-Sa, 9 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 8770706. $ Maui Tacos - Mexican-Island fast food. M-Sa, 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului, 871-7726. $ Mercado - Latin market. Open M-Fr, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $ Mike’s Restaurant - Chinese, local. Daily, 10:30 a.m.9:30 p.m. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas. Mo-Sa, 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Rainbow Dining Room - Located in the Maui Beach Hotel. Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Daily, 5:30-8:30 p.m. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Rosie’s - Local. 8 a.m.-close. 1322 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-1471. $ Ruby’s - American ‘50s cafe. Mo-Th 7 a.m.-9 p.m., FrSu 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. M-Fr 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily 5-9:30 p.m. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. Mo-Sa 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Su 10 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 2439560. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites. M-Th 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fr-Sa 5:30 a.m.-11 p.m. 97 Wakea Ave., Kahului, 877-0121. $

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Local food, pasta, steaks and fresh fish. Mo-Fr, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. & 4:45-8:30 p.m.; SaSu closed.1237 L. Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774.$ Alive & Well - Healthy food, juices and plate lunches. Mo-Fr, 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sa 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Su 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 340 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 8774950. $ Aloha Grill - Burgers with veggie styles. Mo-Fr, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-6 p.m. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 8930263. $ Archie’s - Japenese. Daily 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Mo-Fr, 5-8 p.m.; Fr-Sa 5-9 p.m. 1440, Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-9401. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho and more. Mo-Sa, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual Thai food. Open 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Authentic Korean food.

10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Brooklyn Café - Plate lunches and snacks.

Open Mo-Fr, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Corner of Market and Main, Wailuku, 244-5950. $ Café Marc Aurel - Coffeehouse, wine bar. MoSa, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. or later, 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Daily, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 134 W. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Local fast food. Mo-Fr, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Da Sushi Bar - Full menu and a variety of sushi.

Mo-Fr, 11 a.m.- 2 p.m.; Su-Th, 5-9 p.m.; Fr-Sa, 511 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-4849. $$ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Open daily 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - Homemade meals frozen and ready to pick up. They even deliver. M-Fr, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2p.m.150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-1414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Contemporary local cuisine.

M-Fr, 6:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sa-Su, 6:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m.

Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877-7461. $$ El Corita - Mexican food. M-Sa 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-3 p.m. 790 Eha, Wailuku, 244-5993. $ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Mo-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 2498463. $ Fran’s Island Grill - Local grinds. Su-Th, 6 a.m.8 p.m.; Fr-Sa, 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 740 Lower Main, Wailuku, 242-8580. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - European, American. Mo-Fr, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; We-Sa, 5-9 p.m.

335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Gianotto’s Pizzeria - Italian...duh. Free delivery!

Mo-Sa, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-8282. $ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Japanese and local cuisine. Su-Fr 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily, 5-9 p.m. Kahului Shopping Center, 871-6977. $$ Ichiban Okazuya Hawaii - Local. Mo-Fr, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.& 4-7 p.m. 2133 Kaohu, Wailuku, 2447276. $ IHOP - American. Su-Th, 6 a.m.-12 a.m.; Fr-Sa, 6 a.m.-2 a.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $

Simply Healthy Cafe - Healthy Hawaiian food. Open M-Fr 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 95 Mahalani St.,Cameron Center, Wailuku. 249-8955. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Bakery, deli. M-Th, 7 a.m.5:30 p.m.; Fr, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m; Sa, 7 a.m.- 4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893-0700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Chinese. 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 E. Ka’aumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - American. 8 a.m.-3 p.m., 4 p.m.-9 p.m. 197 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Desserts, breads, sandwiches, salads and soups. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m.

Mo-Sa. 1740 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Conveyor-belt sushi! Mo-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Ka’ahumanu Center, 8778744. $ Sub Paradise - Sandwiches, salads. Open M-Fr, 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-9 a.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-8779.

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, corned beef, sashimi, salads. 5:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. 359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local-style cuisine since 1944. Su, TuTh 6 a.m.-11 p.m., Fr-Sa 6 a.m.-10 p.m., M 6 a.m.-3 p.m. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees. Featuring DJ and Karaoke. Open 10:30-2 a.m.

1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit-down dining. 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-8:30 p.m. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with seafood. M-Fr 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sa 10 a.m.4 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 8734847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Affordable Chinese cuisine. 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, bagels, coffees and more. 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Take-out seafood, chicken, ribs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 8740788. $ Amigo’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere. 5 p.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list. Open M-Sa, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Burgers, local plates and sandwiches. M-Sa 7 a.m.-8 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 8748600. $ Azeka’s Ribs & Snack Shop - Daily specials, sandwiches, burgers, sushi, musubi & even “mini-meals”.

Daily 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m., marinated meat products available until 5 p.m. Azeka Makai Shopping Center, Kihei, 879-0611. $ BadaBing! - Pasta, pizza and yummy specials. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188. $$ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon, sandwiches, salads, smoothies and coffee drinks. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, 875-7668. $

Big Wave Cafe - Pacific Rim cuisine. 7:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - California, Island cuisine.

Poolside. 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Mediterranean cuisine. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 8749299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi.

11 a.m-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$ Café Café - Coffee and specialty drinks, sandwiches.

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner menus coming soon… Daily 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-4700. $ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. 6-11 a.m. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874-1111. $$ Caffe Ciao - Italian infused island food. 12-3 p.m., 5:3010 p.m. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. 5:30-10 p.m. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224. $$$ Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffees, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. M-Sa 7 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $ Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, salads, hot dogs, potato salad and saimin. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

145 N. Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Enrique’s Restaurant - Mexican food with vegetarian items. Open Mo-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 10 a.m.-8 p.m.

2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-2910. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar. 11:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., 5:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 244-5862. $ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m.

2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2607. $$ Greek Bistro - It’s Greek, of course! Apps, salads, entrees and daily specials. 2511 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-9330. $$ Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods - A fantastic salad bar and healthy natural foods. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 875-4356. $ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads and “food for gringos.” M-Sa 5 p.m.-2 a.m. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. 5-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos. 11 a.m.9 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - Organic foods that are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open M-Sa, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Keoki’s Fish ‘N Chips - Open for breakfast at 7 a.m. Kukui Mall, 891-1400. $ Kihei Caffe - Breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches. 5 a.m.-2 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $ L&L Drive In - Local. 4:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Piilani Village Center, Kihei. 875-8898.

Life’s A Beach - Nachos, burritos, prime rib, grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8010. $

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MARCH 16, 2006

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DININGLISTINGS

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IRISH TODAY, HUNGOVER TOMORROW! 14

MARCH 16, 2006

DINING

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees. Mo-Fr 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Sa-Su 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere. 11 a.m.-2 a.m.1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and continental cuisine. Open daily from 5 p.m.

Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - Beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, coffee, fruit smoothies and shakes. 6:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 8740414. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in juices and island spices. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer. 7 a.m.-2 a.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. $$ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. 5:30-9:30 p.m. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879-7224. $$$ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimpon-the-barbie and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. 281 Pi’ikea Ave, Kihei, 879-8400. $$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps. Mo-Sa 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m.

Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875-7679. $ The Place - Eclectic. 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 243-2206. $$ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 4:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees.

5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. Pi’ilani Shopping Center, 303 Pi’ikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. 5:15 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7555. $$$ Scuba Dogs - Smooties, ice cream, salads, subs and (obviously) hot dogs. Daily 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 1455 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-4994. $ Seawatch - Hawai’i regional cuisine. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m-3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 8758080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Open for lunch We-Fr 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 8758366. $ Shaka - Sandwiches & pizza. Shaka it to me baby, yeah! Daily 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1770 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 874-0331. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by world-famous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. 5:309:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 8748000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m., 5 p.m.-10 p.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including half-pound burgers and deli sandwiches. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0602. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Japanese, Chinese and Korean dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $ Surfside Deli - Plate lunches and deli sandwiches. Daily 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 1993 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-1385. $ Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory and sweet nibbles and an excellent wine list. Open Tu-Su from 5 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 8798711. $$ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Island luxury in ambience and cuisine. Su-Mo 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Tu-Sa 11 a.m.-11 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab and New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 8752088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific cuisine with a blend of cajun and tropical flare.

Open 5-10 p.m. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-8385. $$ K

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - Espresso bar, sandwiches and ice cream. 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 90 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha ’Aina - Large variety of omelets, island fish, chicken katsu. Tu-Sa, 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-1 p.m.

7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$ Café 808 - Local diner-style. Open daily 6 a.m.-8 p.m.

4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-4877. $ Café Des Amis - Delicious crepes and Mediterranean fare. 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5796323. $ Café Mambo - Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m.

1188 Makawao Ave., 572-0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hearty and healthy grub from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940s-style urban bistro. Daily 6 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572-2666. $$$ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking and live music. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Fresh fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere with a sushi bar. 120 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8844. $$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual, simple, affordable menu. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin, teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai. We-Su, 8:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Coffee and snacks. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Sun-Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight ,Fri-Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh fish at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579-8488. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic Mexican cuisine. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579-8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - The hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low-fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m.

375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina. 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ Vasi Gourmet - Cakes and pastries. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Mon-Sat. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku Marketplace, 575-9588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs.

840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Cantina - Local food. 222 Papalaua St., Lahaina. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, falafel and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Freshly baked breads and pastries.

Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $

Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 6615566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and sushi. 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Banyan Tree - Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.

Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. 2780 Keka’a Dr., Ka’anapali, 662-3210. $$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Island cuisine, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Coffeehouse with snacks. Open daily 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Southern foods with “Forrest Gump” theme. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 6613111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. $$ Canoes - Polynesian-American. Open 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - American. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Cheeseburger in Paradise - American. 8 a.m.-10 p.m.

811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 6613843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods. Open daily. 2580 Keka’a Dr., Fairway Shops, Ka’anapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food.

Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $ Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style dinner. Food served 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema, Lahaina, 667-0908. $ K Curry-In-A-Hurry - Vegetarian curry dishes. Open TueSat, 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-4370. $ David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667-5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesia. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish Market - Fresh Fish. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 3600 L.Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokawai. 661-9888. $ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Casual breakfast and lunch with oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661-8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old Hawaiian-style coffeehouse. Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and haupia pie. Old Lahaina Center, 667-7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s-style. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali, 667-6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8422. $$$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever! Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food. 3350 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - American-Mexican food served to midnight. 2395 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Kahuna Kabob - Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs. Lahaina Marketplace, 661-9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar. Open 5:30-10 p.m.; Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m.

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ L&L Drive In - Local. 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Lahaina Cannery mall. 1221 Honoap’ilani Rd. 661-9888.

Lahaina Coolers - Eclectic American, with late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 6617082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $ Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar Cosmopolitan. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9090. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. MonSun. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining with pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 6672288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining and organic whole grains cuisine.1307 Front St., Lahaina, 6679394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665-6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 667-1929. $$ K Maui Brewing Co. - Fresh fish and kiawe rotisserie meats. Breakfast, lunch, happy hour, dinner and late nite menus. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3474. $$ Maui Sushi - Full sushi bar inside Bamboo Bar and Grill. 5-11 p.m. 505 Front St, Lahaina. 2812775. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, juices and island spices.

Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $ Mercado - Latino/Mexican market. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. 3636 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-5900. $ Michael Anthony’s Pizza - Gourmet pizza delivery from Lahaina to Kapalua. 5 p.m.-close. 669-7499. $$ Moose McGillycuddy’s - American, bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $ Mr. Sub - Specialty sandwiches, salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662-0890. $ Nagasako Okazu-ya - Local deli. 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Old Lahaina Center, Lahaina, 661-0985. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Japanese. Maui Marriott, Ka’anapali, 667-1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Reasonably priced tapas, Hawaiian style menu for dinner. 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly.

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s Italian bistro with pasta, pizza and salads. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $ Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Thai, local. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina. $ Pipeline Pizza - Fast food. Su-Th 8a.m.-9:30p.m., Fr-Sa 8a.m.-10p.m. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 661-7888. $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, salads and Greek gyros. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Plantation House - Hawaiian-Mediterranean cuisine. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $

Quizno’s Subs - Toasted subs. Open Mon-Sat, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Sun, 12-8 p.m. 170 Papalaua Street, Lahaina Mall, 667-5111. $ Reilley’s - Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana, 667-7477. $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees in an upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30-10 p.m.

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant & Tavern American. Whalers Village, Ka’anapali, 661-3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. 5-10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar Japanese, Island. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Pacific-Rim, eclectic. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500. $$ Smoke House - BBQ, American. Open 11:30 a.m.10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Italian. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667-4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Healthy deli. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $

Terrace Restaurant - Breakfast, 6:30-11 a.m. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667-2814. $ Tropica - Steaks and fresh fish. Open 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Westin Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open daily, delivery 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-6773. $ WM-The Restaurant - Metropolitan cuisine. Open daily, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898. $$$ Zushi - Japanese. 811 Front St., Lahaina. 67-5142.

For corrections or to get your listing in this section, please fax 244-0446

THE COOLEST PLACE ON MAUI TO CELEBRATE

Mexican Wine Dinner

featuring Foods of Executive Chef Greg Denton Partners and Chefs Jose Pepe Vega and Sergio Perez

Live Music with “THE CARROLL BROTHERS”

March 23, 2006

•GREEN BEER $2 •IRISH CAR BOMBS $5 •IRISH WHISKEY SHOTS $2 •GUINESS PINTS $3

Roasted Beet with Fresh Scallop And Chipotle Buerre Blanc Chateau Camou, Chardonnay /Sauvignon Blanc 2000 Peruvian Ceviche Santo Tomas, Tempranillo/ Cabernet Sauvignon 2002 Tamales of Salmon and Fresh Corn and Cheese Chateau Camou Cabernet Sauvignon/ Merlot/Cabernet Franc 2001 Roasted Kurubota Pork Loin With Chili Arbol and Anise Mexican Chocolate Creme Brulee with Homemade Churro Chateau Camou Dessert Wine 1999 All Wines from Valle Guadalupe Baja, California, The Napa Valley of Mexico Please call early to make reservations for this chance to drink some very special wines with some damn good food.

On Front St. in Lahaina upstairs in

$60 per person plus tax & gratuity

The Wharf Cinema Center

Chef Owner Mark Ellman

667-0908

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Executive Chef Gregory Denton

Oceanfront Dining at 1307 Front St. (Across from Lahaina Cannery Mall) • 667-9394

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MARCH 16, 2006

15

$9,998

$3,488

$25,988

$29,887

99 VW Beetle GLS

05 Nissan Titan 5.6 SE

#42605

4WD, CrewCab, Power, AC, Only 12K Miles #42887

CALL FOR PRICE

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05 Toyota Tundra iForce V8

99 Ford Crown Victoria Police Edition

05 Mercedes ML500 All Wheel Drive

05 Ford Ranger Tremor SuperCab

#42615, lic. MNJ647

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MPF522

CD Changer, 4WD, AT, AC, Alloy Wheels #42967, Lic. MNH567

$19,988

$23,988

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$11,788

04 Ford Explorer SportTrac XLS

04 Chevy Silverado LS

04 Dodge Dakota SXT

03 Mazda B2300

CD Player, AC, Power, 22K Miles, V6, Window Tint #42984, Lic. MLV210

V8, CD, AC, CrewCab, Tilt, Power #42848, Lic. NTU641

CD, AC,AT, ExtraCab, Super Clean! #81929, Lic. MNJ966

ABS, 5 Speed, AC, CD, 4 Cylinder, 24K Miles #42994, Lic. MKN851

$33,987

$19,988

$27,688

$19,988

05 Lexus IS300

05 MAZDA MIATA

04 Toyota Avalon XLS

03 Nissan Frontier XE

#42743, lic. MPF188

#42847, lic. HFE477

#42746, lic. MPF189

4WD, CrewCab, 6 Disc CD, AT, AC, Power #42831, Lic. MLK254

$7,988

$4,995

CALL FOR PRICE

04 Cadillac SRX All Wheel Drive

00 VW Golf Show Car! Must See!

96 Chevy Blazer

StepSide, CD, AT, AC, Great Deal! #42961, Lic. MGF389

#42067, lic. NFJ940

Over $90K spent to produce this one of a kind import! lic. MNJ682

4WD, AC, Power Windows & Locks, Alloy Wheels #42959, MJE073

WAKEA

HANA HWY

#

JIM FALK MOTORS OF MAUI ALAMAHA

DAIRY ROAD

00 Ford Ranger XLT

270-2600 • 260 Hana Hwy., Kahului

SALES HOURS OF OPERATION MONDAY THRU SATURDAY: 8AM-8PM / SUNDAY: 1OAM-6PM

*OAC Prices plus tax, lic., registration fee and $195 Jim Falk Motors doc. fee. Credit on approval. Special down payment terms with bank approval only. Vehicles subject to prior sale and may not be exactly as shown. Sale prices may be withdrawn at any time. New vehicle prices are after all incentives and rebates are applied. Ask dealer for complete details. Sale ends one week from publication date.

16

MARCH 16, 2006

DA KINE CALENDAR

Take Me Home Sunday, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Lahaina Cannery Mall [PET ADOPTION] Every third Sunday of the month, Candace Harpole, along with other volunteers, take a few dogs from the Maui Humane Society to the West Side to sort of show them off. According to Harpole, “A lot of people from the West Side don’t make it to the shelter. It’s too far or too depressing.” That’s why she brings them to you! They’ll be cruising all over the mall, so keep an eye out for these little lovies. Yes, it is called “Mobile Adoption,” and if you meet a dog that you just love and want to adopt, you can start the process right then and there, but you can’t take them home immediately. “I was the first ‘Adoption Counselor’ at the Maui Humane Society about 8 years ago,” said Harpole. “The job was created because the return rate of pets was astronomical! The job is to let people know what they’re getting into.” We’ve all experienced this—you see a pet, you love them instantly, then you get them home and reality sets in; now you’re stuck with this creature. It’s kinda like when you meet a guy and think he’s so cute and then he won’t leave you alone and you get that panicky annoyed feeling. Yikes... But anyway, Harpole adds, “It’s like a field trip for the dogs.” Aww.... [HEIDI KING]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446 Mar 16th

INNA VISION

LETTERS

NEWS

Mar 18th

Mar 17th

St Patty Party w/

Wild 105.5 DJ’S COVER STORY

FLIRT DANCE w/98.3 PARTY Boogie Man Productions

SURF

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Mar 20th

Mar 19th

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

Grammy Nominee

Willie K

FILM

Mar 21st

Mar 22nd

WITH

w/DJ LX

ULTRA DOLLA FAB BALLA

DJ SKINNY GUY

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MARCH 16, 2006

17

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Black, White & Red

Meet Sandow Birk!

Saturday, 5:30 p.m. at the Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center in Makawao

Saturday, 5:30 p.m. at King Kamehameha Golf Club

Happy St. Paddy’s Day! Friday, all day at both Mulligan’s [HOLIDAY/PARTY] Look, there’s no use denying it: Mulligan’s owns this extravaganza on Maui. Not to say other joints aren’t rockin’ their shamrocks with style, but we all know the majority of you will be crowding the bar On the Blue in Wailea. Just know this: Mulligan’s is now in the Lahaina Wharf Center, too! That’s right, honeys—the same food tents, awesome Celtic music, drink specials and contests will be happening there as well, so for crap’s sake, disperse yourselves, people!

Call 874-1131 (Wailea) or 661-8881 (Lahaina).

THURSDAY

MONDAY

[FUNDRAISER] “Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as the joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good” (Vaclav Havel). For 20 years, Maui AIDS Foundation has been working to educate, facilitate and keep hope alive for all individuals in the community. In the essence of achievement and celebration, is their annual “Black, White & Red Affair.” Live music, a keiki tap dance performance, live and silent auctions with sculptures, furniture, gift certificates and more, plus a complete dinner buffet and an award presentation. What to wear? Keith Wolter, Executive Director, suggests, “Elegant aloha attire.” Be part of the solution.

Tickets: $85. Call 242-4900. [HEIDI KING]

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

March/April SUNDAY

TUESDAY

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY 16

19

20

21

YOUR SHOWCASE SHAKE HEINI SUNDAYS LIVE MUSIC W Lucid Fucion KAPAKAHI Jazz $3 HEINEKENS 26

27

YOUR SHOWCASE SHAKE SUNDAYS LIVEHEINI MUSIC W KAPAKAHI $3 HEINEKENS

[ARTIST RECEPTION] In Los Angeles and Orange County, the radical artist Sandow Birk is a big deal. His paintings are epics, full of thunder and battle and snarling traffic. And now he’s got a new show—“Sandow Birk’s Divine Comedy,” his own special take on the Italian master’s adventure into hell. “‘Sandow Birk’s Divine Comedy’ may have started with Dante,” my friend and former colleague Rebecca Schoenkopf recently wrote in OC Weekly, “but Birk’s made the circles of heaven and hell his own.” The March 18 reception lasts until 8 p.m., but you might want to jot down a few future dates: At 6 p.m. on Sunday, March 19, Birk will be on hand as the Hui screens Dante’s Inferno, an allpuppet version of the old work based on Birk’s paintings. Then on Thursday, March 23, Birk will do a gallery walkthrough at 6:30 p.m.

As always, admission is free. Call 572-6560, ext. 23 for more information. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

TOP TEN TUESDAYS Call for info Ladies Free Before 10pm 28

TOP TEN TUESDAYS Call for info Ladies Free Before 10pm

22

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

17

18

ST. PATTY’S

JAM DOWN REGGAE FEST

W/LUCKY CHARM DANCERS DRESSED IN GREEN DISCOUNT @ DOOR. GREAT DRINK SPECIALS

SIN CITY with Flava Zone

23

24

25

SPRING BREAK L.A. SIN CITY PARTY LIKE DJ STYLZ with A ROCK STAR SYMPHONY House of Stylz Flava Zone live music Girls Gone live music Wild 29

30

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR live music

SEATTLE NIGHTS live music

31

1

SPRING BREAK SIN CITY DJ STYLZ with House of Stylz Flava Zone

CHECK PARADICEBLUZ.COM FOR CALENDAR UPDATES • CLUB ATTIRE STRICTLY ENFORCED FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS

Thursday March 16

Jam Down REggae Fest

SPRING BREAK BASH

Marty Dread &Teo Man & Hau Phat With

First Time Ever Performing Together At Paradice Bluz

st. patrick’s day party

Friday March 17

WITH LUCKY CHARM DANCERS GREAT DRINK SPECIALS

DRESS IN GREEN FOR A DISCOUNT @ DOOR 744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 18

MARCH 16, 2006

DA KINE CALENDAR

UB40 Sunday, 7:30 p.m. at A&B Amphitheater [BRITISH POP REGGAE] In the early 1980’s, I wore the hell out of my Labour of Love (1983) tape, with its covers of Jimmy Cliff’s “Many Rivers to Cross,” Eric Donaldson’s “Cherry Oh Baby” and a since overwrought Neil Diamond tune of which I can’t even name at this point. Although my favorites are still “If It Happens Again,” “Don’t Break My Heart” and “Rat in the Kitchen,” UB40 have had countless—really, I tried—hits since then. Say what you will, but the eight to sometimes 12-member band has brought a renewed interest to some fantastic early ska and otherwise ignored lovers rock tunes. Not bad for a band who first purchased its instruments with the compensation money lead vocalist Ali Campbell got after a bar fight.

Tickets: $35 advance, $40 day of show. Call 242-7469.

DAY

“Let the Eyes Hear, the Ears See” Sunday, 5 p.m. at Studio Maui [MUSIC/ART] This is a unique concert idea. It involves music, art and the direct influence they have on each other.

What better way to illustrate this than by having musicians and artists switch roles? There’ll be virtuoso contrabassists— I don’t know either, but it sounds exotic, doesn’t it?—Tetsu Saitoh and Nobuyoshi Ino, as well as world renowned percussionist Emil Richards, along with John Zangrando on woodwinds, Paul Marchetti on percussion, Robert Pollock on keys and Bob Harrison on contrabass. The visual artists include Tony Walholm, Pat Masumoto, Linda Whittemore and Piero Resta. Admission: $8. Call 575-9390.

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

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MARCH 16, 2006

19

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Let’s do something

You Don’t Know What Freedom is Political satire hits the ceiling

FRIDAY, MARCH 17th LUNCH

Corned Beef & Swiss on Rye $7.95

DINNER

Corned Beef & Cabbage $12.95

DRINK SPECIALS Shamrock Shooter $2.75 Hot, Creamy Irish Bush $5

GREEN BEER 2.00 $ 1.00 $ 3.75 $

DJ MACKIE GIVEAWAYS GREEN BEER GOOD TIMES

(8am-3pm) (3pm-6pm) (6pm-close)

MARCH MADNESS WATCH IT HERE! GE COLLE ALL TB BASKE 20

MARCH 16, 2006

FILM

Scripted by Andy and Larry Wachowski (The Matrix trilogy), V For Vendetta is a razor-sharp cinematic reinterpretation of Alan Moore’s scathingly dissident 1988 political satire graphic novel set in a slightly futuristic Britain. Natalie Portman’s intense portrayal of a civilian polarized into rebellion anchors the movie.

V For Vendetta

★★★★★ Rated R/131 mins.

At a point in history when George Orwell’s dystopian 1984 has been surpassed by a deceptive fascism some call “free trade capitalism,” V For Vendetta (written by Alan Moore between 1981 and 1988) comes across as a scathingly subversive political satire. The film seamlessly folds together elements of 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World and The Diary Of Anne Frank with superhero mythology and a dash of spaghetti western to form a highly original story about the dangers of corruption, media manipulation and a pervasive government repression exercised through fear.

The screenwriters have reshaped the novel’s problematic protagonist Evey (Natalie Portman) as an intelligent and sensitive young woman who becomes a double victim of two different brands of Stockholm syndrome-one perpetrated by her violent government, and one by that fascistic regime’s most treacherous terrorist enemy. Just as the title implies, violence begets payment in the same coin.

Although author Alan Moore has had his name removed from the film, V For Vendetta is by far the best film version of

Moore’s stories, which include From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

After being rescued from a late night street hassle with government goons by a maskwearing Guy Fawkes-inspired revolutionary named V (Hugo Weaving) Evey’s mysterious savior takes her on a rooftop date to witness the destruction of the Houses of Parliamentcomplete with fireworks. Evey soon helps V escape from the police after he stages an attack on the broadcast station where she works.

Debut director James McTeigue artfully mitigates the distraction of a character whose face you never see by focusing on the way other characters react to V, and by making the most of Hugo Weaving’s pitch-perfect enunciation of V’s incendiary dialogue. The story shifts through a troubling maze of events once V takes Evey into his confidence in his underground lair where he has collected cultural artifacts that were long ago confiscated from society and private homes by the government.

Flashbacks divulge V’s polarizing experiences as a prisoner of a government-operated concentration camp where he suffered an explosion that left him scarred from head to toe. V is an athletic esthete who uses only throwing knives against his assailants-an amendment to the graphic novel by the Wachowski brothers that references the working class weapon of the spaghetti western hero in Sergio Sollima’s seminal 1968 movie Run, Man, Run. V For Vendetta is a glorious piece of pop culture subversive cinema that operates on manifold levels. On the surface, it’s a love story set in the depths of social despair, but it’s also a visionary tale of social uprising. As a reflection of the differences between freedom and repression, the movie provides a social terrain that seems more native than alien, and therein lies its central abstraction. You come out wanting to do something. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA Wednesday, March 22 5 & 7:30 P.M., CASTLE THEATER WHY WE FIGHT - (Unrated) - Documentary - It's impossible to imagine anyone, right-leaning or left, coming away from this hugely important documentary unshaken by its representation of the United States and its military establishment in this riveting, not-to-be-missed Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize-winning documentary that provides an unflinching look at the anatomy of the American war machine's unending addiction to profits— famously termed the military industrial complex by President Dwight Eisenhower in his Farewell Address—at the cost of peace. 101 min.

New This Week SHE’S THE MAN - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - A teenage girl poses as her twin brother at a new school. It’s a love octagon with everyone crushing on somebody else, teenage angst, confusion and sexual awkwardness. Amazingly, it might actually be funny. 105 min. (Heidi King) V FOR VENDETTA - (R) - Sci-Fi, Action, Drama A masked vigilante (Hugo Weaving) known only as “V” rescues a young woman (Natalie Portman) to join him in a struggle against the force of oppression that is the totalitarian government of the future. 132 min. See Film Critique. (Samantha Campos) WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN - (PG13) Adventure, Drama - In this biopic, Anthony Hopkins plays Burt Munro, a 68-year old Kiwi and damned fool who rebuilds a 1920s Indian motorcycle into a racer capable of taking on the land speed record at the Bonneville Salt Flats. 127 min.

(Anthony Pignataro)

Now Showing AQUAMARINE - (PG) - Comedy, Drama, Family - Adolescent best friends need a miracle. When a mermaid washes into one of their pools, she promises that she can grant them a wish if they help her out. It’s about growing up, friends and learning that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love. Ahhhhh, I got all

mushy on ya. 103 min. (HK) BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2 - (PG13) - Comedy Martin Lawrence is back wearing the fat suit, once again needing to go deep undercover for the F.B.I. Isn’t it amazing how all a man needs to do is dress up like a woman in the movies, and all of a sudden he can run faster than a speeding bullet, leap over buildings in a single bound and kick just about anyone’s ass? Incredible.

99 min. (HK) BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN - (R) - Drama, Romance, Western - Two cowboys work together, then become friends... and more? See how they deal with the blind hatred of society over a span of like 20 years. 134 min. (HK) CURIOUS GEORGE - (G) - Animation, Family - How cute is this; Jack Johnson does all of the songs and Will Ferrell, Drew Barrymore and Dick Van Dyke are the main voices. As if the little monkey needed any help getting cuter. That is just frickin’ precious. Oh yeah, you know who Curious George is, right? The monkey that gets in trouble all of the time. Think back, you grew up on this stuff. 82 min. (HK) DATE MOVIE - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - Two of the writers for “Scary Movie” put this one together. It looks hilarious and usually spoof movies don’t impress me. I guess you can’t really go wrong with making fun of relationships and the games we play. 83 min. (HK) DOOGAL - (G) - Animation - Based on a U.K. children’s series. A variety of animals, the leader being a dog, go on a dangerous voyage to save the world from falling into the hands of the evil wizard, ZeeBadee. Famous voices of Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Fallon, Chevy Chase, Kylie Minogue, Kevin Smith & Jon Stewart. 81 min. (HK) EIGHT BELOW - (PG) - Action, Adventure - Paul Walker stars in this new Disney movie about sled dogs.

It takes place in Antarctica where a series of events leads to eight sled dogs being stuck out in a storm.

Based on an article in National Geographic.

Unfortunately, it’s cold weather, so Walker will probably be keeping all of his clothes on. 120 min. (HK) FAILURE TO LAUNCH - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - Matthew McCanoughey and Sarah Jessica Parker star. It reminds me of “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days”. Matthew (Tripp) is charming and sexy and doesn’t want to commit. Parker is a Professional Motivator who’s hired by Tripp’s parents to get him to finally leave the nest. But have they finally stumbled upon there soulmates?!? 96 min. (HK) FINAL DESTINATION 3 - (R) - Thriller, Horror -

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY with DJ BLAST

Casanova’s Famous Ladies Night

Follows the same story line as the first two. High school girl predicts a tragic incident, this time it’s a roller coaster accident, then it happens. The people she convinced to not ride the ride now have to try and cheat death again and again and again... 92 min. (HK) THE HILLS HAVE EYES - (R) - Drama, Horror, Thriller - A family sets off to have a fun little road trip down to San Diego. They’re tires mysteriously blow out and leave them stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Creeping noises and inexplicable things start to happen.....aaaaaaaaaaand...enter the mutant people, begin bloodfest. 107 min. (HK) THE LIBERTINE - (R) - Drama - Johnny Depp stars as a scurrilous but disturbingly hot and decidedly free-thinking (read: boozin’ and sexin’) poet and the second Earl of Rochester in 17th century England. Oh, he’s such a naughty boy. Do you like him now? How ‘bout now? 104 min. (SC) MADEA’S FAMILY REUNION - (PG13) - Comedy, Drama - Tyler Perry is back with another follow up that started with Diary of a Mad Black Woman. The whole family is having issues from weddings to children to abusive lovers. You know Madea is gonna lay the smack down. 107 min. (HK) MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS - (R) - Comedy, Drama - When Mrs. Henderson is widowed, she discovers that she owns an old abandoned theater. After fixing it up, the community is shocked to find that she plans on having the girls in the show perform nude.

But, hey, sex sells. 102 min. (HK) THE NEW WORLD - PG13 - Adventure, Drama - One of the most famous romances of all time, John Smith and Pocahontas. I highly doubt Smith was as hot as Colin Farrell though. You all know the story, I just hope that it’s more historically correct than the Disney version. 150 min. (HK) PINK PANTHER - PG - Comedy - Steve Martin plays well-to-do Inspector Clouseau. The Pink Panther is an amazing diamond that has been stolen and the Inspector, through “unintentional” slapstick comedy and dumb luck, is trying to catch the culprit. Don’t forget about his hilarious accent. 92 min. (HK) THE SHAGGY DOG - (PG) - Comedy, Family - Now Disney is ripping off… Disney. In this “update” of the 1959 Fred MacMurray film of the same name, Tim Allen plays a workaholic District Attorney who turns into the family dog. Man, that’s science fiction! Who’s going to believe Allen is a DA? 98 min. (AP) 16 BLOCKS - (PG13) - Action, Thriller - Bruce Willis plays an aging cop that is assigned to get Mos Def’s character from the jail to a courthouse. The problem is; cops want dude dead. It’s tough to be a cop running from the police. 101 min. (HK) TRANSAMERICA - (R) - Comedy, Drama - A conservative transsexual woman finds out she produced a son when she was a male. They meet and end up having to take a road trip together. Felicity Huffman stars.

In case you’re wondering; transsexuals are people that have actually had the operations to make them a different sex than they were originally. 103 min. (HK) ULTRAVIOLET - (PG13) - Action, Sci-Fi - For those of you who missed Aeon Flux back in December but can’t wait for it to come out on DVD, have no fear! This is the exact same movie—hot chicks, lots of gunplay, flashy future, evil government—except with Milla Jovovich instead of Charlize Theron. I can hardly wait! 87 min. (AP)

Thur. Mar. 16th From Mendocino California

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Brokeback Mountain - R - Th (3:40), 6:35, 9:25, Fr (12:55, 3:45), 6:35, 9:25, Sa-Su (12:55), 3:45, 6:35, 9:25, M-W (3:45), 6:35, 9:25 Curious George - G - Th, M-W (2:50, 5:10), Fr (12:45, 2:50, 5:10) Sa-Su (12:40, 2:50), 5:10 Date Movie - PG13 - Th (2:45, 4:50), 7:10, 9:20, Fr (12:35, 2:45, 4:50), 7:10, 9:30, Sa-Su (12:35, 2:45), 4:50, 7:10, 9:30, M-W (2:45, 4:50), 7:10, 9:30 Doogal - G - Th (2:30, 4:30), Fr-Su (12:30, 2:30), M-W (2:30) Eight Below - PG - Th (1:15, 4), 6:50, 9:40, Fr, MW (1:15, 4), 6:50, 9:35, Sa-Su (1:15), 4, 6:50, 9:35 Final Destination 3 - R - Th (3:20, 5:30), 7:45, 10, Fr-Su 7:45, 9:55 Hills Have Eyes - R - Th, M-W (1:30, 3:30, 4:15), 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, Fr (1, 1:30, 3:30, 4:15), 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1, 1:30, 3:30), 4:15, 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45 Mrs. Henderson Presents - R - Th only 7:25, 9:55 New World - PG13 - Th only 6:30, 9:30 Pink Panther - PG - Th, M-W (3:15, 5:25), 7:35, 9:50, Fr (1:05, 3:15, 5:25), 7:35, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:05, 3:15), 5:25, 7:35, 9:50 She’s the Man - PG13 - Fr, M-W (1:20, 4:10), 7, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:20), 4:10, 7, 9:50 16 Blocks - PG13 - Th, M-W (2:55, 5:20), 7:40, 10, Fr (12:30, 2:55, 5:20), 7:40, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:55), 5:20, 7:40, 10 Transamerica - R - Th (3:25), 6:55, 9:30, Fr, M-W (4:30), 6:55, 9:30, Sa-Su 4:30, 6:55, 9:30 Ultraviolet - PG13 - Th, M-W (3:05, 5:15), 7:30, 9:45, Fr (12:50, 3:05, 5:15), 7:30, 9:40, Sa-Su (12:50, 3:05), 5:15, 7:30, 9:40 World’s Fastest Indian - PG13 - Fr-Su (12:40, 3:25), 6:30, 9:20, M-W (3:25), 6:30, 9:20

KA’AHUMANU 6

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Aquamarine - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (2:55), 5:15, 7:40, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:55), 5:15, 7:40, 10 Big Momma’s House 2 - PG13 - Th only (2:55), 5:10, 7:30, 9:50 Failure To Launch - Pg13 - Th-Fr, M-W (3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55, Sa-Su (1, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55 Libertine - R - Daily (2:15), 4:45, 7:20, 9:50 Madea’s Family Reunion - PG13 - Th only (2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:55 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (12:30,2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30 V for Vendetta - R - Fr, M-W (2), 4:15, 5, 7:10, 8, 10, Sa-Su (1, 2), 4:15, 5, 7:10, 8, 10

KUKUI MALL

1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Eight Below - PG - Th (1:45), 5, 8:15, Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7:10, 9:35, Su-W (1:15), 4:30, 7:45 Hills Have Eyes - R - Th (1:15), 4:30, 8, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:20, 9:30, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 8 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th (1:30), 4:45, 7:45, Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:30, 9:35, Su-W (1:45), 5, 8:15 Ultra Violet - PG - Th only (1:45), 5, 8:15 V for Vendetta - R - Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:30, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30

FRONT STREET THEATRE

900 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Eight Below - PG - Th only (4:15), 7, 9:45 Hills Have Eyes - R - Th (4:45), 7:30, 10, Fr, MW(4:45), 7:35, 9:55, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:35, 9:55 She’s the Man - PG13 - Fr, M-W (4:30), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 16 Blocks - PG13 - Th (4), 7:15, 9:50, Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:25, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:15, 7:25, 9:50 Ultraviolet - PG13 - Th only (4:30), 7:45, 9:55 V for Vendetta - R - Fr, M-W (4), 7, 10, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 10 658 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Aquamarine - PG - Th (1:30, 4), 6:45, 9:15, Fr, MW (1:30, 4), Sa-Su, (11, 1:30), 4 Failure to Launch - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (2, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:15), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7, 9:30 Ultraviolet - PG13 - Fr-W 6:45, 9:15

cultural Fusion ‘fo ’yo soul

opening by ‘Forealious’

Fri. Mar. 17th

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Imagine Me & You - (PG13) - W 5, 7:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

HUMAN and the “Best Late Night In Maui” other Humans

The evening that earned Casanova the award 9:45pm $10. Cover

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

Music Starts @ 9:45 pm

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY

$

FULL with TILTON TERI GARRISON & VINCE ESQUIRE WEAR THE GREEN PLAY THE BLUES Music Starts @ 9:45 pm $ 10. Cover

7. Cover

$8*

SAT. Mar. 18th

Sounds Delicious

“Exuberant, sexy, life-affirming in equal measure.”

Hip Hop Funk and Deep House with dj Sal and dj Max and special guest

dj DANIEL J VOTED BEST DJ IN MAUI Music Starts @ 9:45 pm

WED, MAR 22

7. Cover

$

*with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com LETTERS

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MARCH 16, 2006

21

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

AS TOLD TO SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

The Shantyman Trevor Jones, an oral history Local musician Trevor Jones knows how to get the crowd going. He’s famous around these parts for his warmth, charisma, sea-faring shanties and raucous calland-response parodies. He talked to me just in time for his St. Patrick’s Day shows at Mulligan’s, which are always loads of fun, even if it’s at your expense.

#

#

CELEBRATE!

#

ST. PATRICKS’S DAY, AT MAUI’S BEST OPEN-AIR NIGHT CLUB

THE

LIVE MUSIC this Friday Night

ERIN SMITH BAND

$10 COVER CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE ON THE DINNER MENU! JOIN US FOR HAPPY HOUR! • DRINK & APPETIZER SPECIALS DAILY 4:00-6:00PM

longhis@maui.net 22

MARCH 16, 2006

888 Front St. Lahaina 667-2288 DAY&NIGHT

www.longhis.com

In Catalina, I worked on James Cagney’s old boat. I’d say it’s about 90 foot, a gaff topsail schooner called The Swift of Ipswich. It’s a replica of a Baltimore Clipper—very fast. In 1984, I went from Maui to Catalina for the summer and worked for the Olympics; we were in the tall ships parade, which was nice. So I like to do shanties but in an authentic way.

A shanty is from the French “chanter,” or “to sing.” There’s a lot of different definitions but a lot of people say that a shanty is a work song, it’s an economic thing. In navies of the world, they didn’t have shanties because they had enough men to do a job. But in merchant navies or private ships, doing trading ships, they’d have all the guys pull together at a certain beat or call.

I like those songs. There’s several different kinds; there’s halyard shanties, pump, stomp-and-go shanties. Then there’s fo’c’s’le songs, which are basically just, well, songs that tell a story. I learned them because it was my hobby, you know, like a lot of guys have their cars and that.

I was born in Wales 63 years ago. I grew up in Holyhead, Anglesey—it’s an island. It’s the main port to Dublin, actually. My father was the engineer for a big fleet of ships—British Rail.

He was on convoys during the war. When I was growing up, it was a very simple life. I went to a boarding school in Wales, a Catholic school. Yeah, you know, the nuns they gave it to me.

I went to college in Manchester and my main thing was rugby—I loved rugby. And then I got my knee screwed up and went on a couple rigs in Africa—on the oil rigs, because it was really good money… well, this was in the ‘60s, you know—and at the end of my contract, the company offered me a job and a choice of different

places to go, like the South China Sea or Libya.

Then I came to America, ended up in New Orleans—I was 26. I played this set and they paid me $15 and all the beer I could drink. And then I went to California, married the mother of my children and moved to Catalina Island. I bought a house there for 40 grand, in Avalon.

Bill Wrigley owned the island—he was a nice guy. I used to play for their private parties.

In the winters, I played everywhere— Montana, Colorado, Key West, New York, Chicago—all over America, really. I’ve met some great people. When I was in Tahoe, Duane Eddy—he was one of my heroes when I was a kid, you know, in the late ‘50s and ‘60s, he was the head guy of twangin’ guitar. But he used to play with me in Lake Tahoe as long as I wouldn’t tell anybody that it was him, ‘cause you know, we liked to have a few beers together. I’ve opened for a lot of people, like the Pointer Sisters, Taj Mahal, The Beach Boys, Charlie Musselwhite…

About 27 years ago, I got divorced, sold the house in Avalon, moved here with my kids. I was the house band at the Pioneer Inn for about 16 years. It was a wild bar in those days. Times have changed but in those days, there’d be holes in the floor, half the slats were missing. That was a great time on Maui ‘cause all these great players would come and just sit in, Princess Caroline would be sitting in the bar, a guy from the bloody National Enquirer taking pictures…

I consider myself more or less an entertainer.

If I start a show, I’m almost a bit nervous, you know. I’ll always try and build a bridge if I can, with somebody in the audience and try to get them going. I’ve been very lucky doing that. I love people, and I want them to have a great time. MTW

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS Garth Fagan Dance Company - Thursday. With dancers renowned for individuality, unmannered approach and virtuosity, they are “fearless too: able to sustain long adagio balances, to change direction in mid-air, to vary the dynamic of a turn, to stop on a dime." (Ballet Review) No wonder audiences gasp in awe! Tickets: $35, $20, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Jack Lee - Saturday. Jack Lee is a world-class bagpiper and this is his only island appearance. What a nice guy to come all of the way out here to help the Maui Celtic Pipes & Drums, his openers, with their annual fundraiser. This is their main fundraiser for the year and last year it sold out! Pre-concert entertainment and Celtic refreshments available. Tickets: $15.

7 p.m., Makawao Union Church, 669-0607.

UB40 - Sunday. Reggae music, can’t refuse it! Drink a little red, red wine and make a night of it. As the river flows, gently to the sea, some things were meant to be. Ya feel me? Tickets: $40, $35. 7 p.m., A & B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

Aha Mele - Monday. The weekly concert features island personality and storyteller Kathy Collins along with one of Hawai’i’s most loved recording artist, the Grammy-nominated slack key guitar master George Kahumoku, Jr. Guest artists will join Collins and Kahumoku each week. Some of the upcoming artists include Ledward Kaapana, Richard Ho‘opi‘i, Leiohu Ryder, The Hula Honeys and Brother Noland. Every Monday night through Apr. 24. Tickets: $50, $35, $25.

6 p.m., Maui Myth and Magic Theatre, Lahaina, 6619913 or 877-688-4800 or visit www.ahamele.com

TICKETS ON SALE FurBall - Mar. 24. This gala event is a major fundrais-

er to benefit the nearly 10,000 homeless pets that come through the Maui Humane Society’s shelter doors every year. Pupus, no-host bar, gourmet dinner, complimentary champagne and “rrRuffle” drawing for incredible prizes. Tickets: $160. 6-11 p.m., Wailea Marriott Resort, 877-3680 x32.

Na Palapalai - Mar. 24. The trio of ‘ukulele, bass and guitar is comprised of Kuana Torres, Kehau Tamure and Keao Costa, who learned music from their families and kupuna, and bring their own original stylings to the traditional falsetto sound of ha‘i. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Soul Sisters - Mar. 25. Diva Jessa Zaragoza, award-winning actress Ara Mina, and singer/comedian Marissa Sanchez team up to form this Filipina trio. The show highlights the diversity of the three women, each of whom

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brings their own flavor to the stage. Tickets: $100, $50, $30. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

311 - Mar. 26. This dynamic Omaha-bred, Los Angeles-based rapcore/punk/rock/reggae/ska group that has sold over seven million albums in the U.S. alone. C’mon show them that you’ve always been down, down. Tickets: $43, $38. 7 p.m., A & B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

The Rowan Brothers & The Hula Honeys - Mar 31. Chris & Lorin Rowan have been major players on the San Francisco music scene for over 30 years.

From their early collaborations with David Grisham to their recent appearances as members of the Phil Lesh & The Hepcats, the Rowan Brothers have delighted audiences world-wide with their potent mixture of bluegrass-flavored folk and rockabilly. Now they’re teaming up with Maui’s own Hula Honeys for a concert to benefit Mana’o Radio. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Barrington Levy & the Detour Posse - Apr. 1. You know that reggae “ooooooooooooh,” well, I think Levy was the originator. Joined by Marty Dread & the Kryptones, Inna Vision, Ras Gabriel, 4-Word & Versatile, in an effort to raise funds for Ginee “Gigi” Dickison, a long-time Maui resident, who is battling Ovarian cancer. Tickets: $36, $26. 3:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic. Tix avail. at Beach Road Records (Kihei), Bahama Mama (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Paradise Audio (Wailuku), Paradice Bluz (Lahaina), and Maui Sea Skins (Haiku).

Elvis Costello - Apr. 2. With songs like “Pump It Up”, “Watching The Detectives” and “Every Day I Write the Book” (our favorite!)—oh, we could go on and on. For over 25 years, Costello along with his backing group, The Attractions, has changed the face of modern Rock and Roll. Special guest Steve Nieve.

Tickets: $58, $48, $38. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Ballet NY - Apr. 6. Ballet New York is comprised of the cream of the world’s dancers from leading dance companies, each a star in his or her own right. That pedigree, as well as the founders’ relationship with George Balanchine and New York City Ballet, ensures an amazing range in the company repertoire, including commissions of exciting new works from today’s leading choreographers. Tickets: $40, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Punky Monkeys - Apr. 8. The Bouncing Souls (New Jersey), White Rose (Maui), Mistermeaner (Oahu), The Golfcart Rebellion (Oahu), Acoustic Diary featuring Josh from Surfer Trot (California) all here, together and live!

More info coming soon...

Hapa - Apr. 8. The evocative island sounds created by the slack-key/vocal team of Barry Flanagan and Nathan Aweau have a magnetic appeal. Flanagan’s slack-key

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Thursday

03/16

BOCALINO

The New Project $5, 10pm

CAFE MARC AUREL

Jazz Standards No cover, 7:30pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

Friday 03/17 Tom Cherry Band $5, 10pm

Saturday03/18 Sunday03/19 Ohana Groove $5, 10pm

Industry Night w/DJ No Cover, 9:30pm

Monday03/20 – Wednesday03/22 MON - Duane & Tish Feig, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The New Project w/Jay Molina, Gilbert Emata & Marja, $5, 10pm; WED - DJ Shark In The Water, No cover, 9:30pm

Latin Night w/Neto Peraza No cover, 7:30pm

MON - Open Mic, No cover, 7pm; TUE - Voodoo Suns, 7:30pm

CASANOVA

Human and the other Humans $7, 9:45pm

Full Tilton $10, 9:45pm

DJ Sal, DJ Max & DJ Daniel J $7, 9:45pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Blast, $10, 9:45pm

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

Head High 9:30pm

Planetary Bandits, Marty Dread & Da Maui Boys, 9:30pm

Teomon & the Kryptones 9:30pm

MON - Kanoa & Friends, 9:30pm

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Inna Vision

St. Patty Party w/105.5 DJs

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

MON - Willie K, 9pm; TUE - Ultra Fab w/DJ Skinny Guy, 9pm; WED - Dolla Balla w/DJ LX, 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Reggae at the Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Middle John No cover, 9pm

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

innovations are enriched by the vocals and compositions of Aweau, who is as adept with beautiful Hawaiian music as with smooth jazz grooves.

Renowned chanter Charles Ka‘upu adds another cultural ingredient to this engaging program. Tickets: $35, $28, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Mele No Ka Oi - Apr. 14. An evening of Hawai‘i music greats; Na Hoku Hanohano award winners Brittni Paiva and Owana Salazar, Grammy winner Jeff Peterson and the renowned Braddah Smitty will be singing and playing old favorites in his own inimitable style. Great music for all ages! Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Gypsy Pacific - Apr. 15. Gypsy Pacific is an incredible acoustic string quartet specializing in “gypsy jazz” featuring Tom Conway (guitar), Willy Wainwright (violin), Marcus Johnson (bass), Phil Benoit (guitar).

Special guests are Kelly Covington, Dave Choy and Gene Argel. Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Kokua Festival - Apr. 19. Once again, Jack Johnson will headline. Now, brace yourselves, Ben Harper is going to perform, too! Also Willie Nelson & the Planetary Bandits, Henry Kapono and Paula Fuga. I’ve got tickets! Yes I do! I’ve got tickets! How ‘bout you?!

Tickets: $44, $33 MACC, 242-7469.

The Songmaker’s Chair - Apr. 27-29. The first full length-play by Albert Wendt, one of the Pacific's foremost novelists and essayists, The Songmaker's Chair introduces audiences to the lives of those courageous migrant families who have made Auckland their home.

A story of conflict, continuity, and change in three generations of an extended Samoan family. Adult themes suitable for high school age & above. Tickets: $20.

7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Brothers Cazimero - May 2. Each year Robert and Roland Cazimero play their ever-popular Maui May Day Concert. Their beautiful harmonies and acoustic arrangements, along with lively humor, great showmanship and pervasive spirit of aloha have helped spread the love for Hawaiian music around the world.

Hula is also a key element on every Cazimero stage.

Tickets: $35, $28, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Spray - May 11. Acclaimed New York City writer/performer Mike Albo presents a humorous fast-paced collection of monologues, characters and dance breaks that take the audience on a tour through freaky, apocalypse-sensitive America, full of botoxic beauty, government fear factors and constant reality show orgasms. A portion of the proceeds go to Maui AIDS Foundation. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Rampage In Vegas - May 13. Who wants to watch some Vegas styley boxing?!? This girl right here does, I’ll tell ya that much. 12-13 bouts featuring amateur boxers from Hawaii and Las Vegas. All proceeds benefit Doc Broadus Sports & Entertainment and the local boxing clubs. It’s a reason to feel good about watching some dude get his ass handed to him. Tickets: $500, $300, $100. Italian-American Social Club, 2333 E. Sahara Ave, 280-4174.

Frank De Lima - May 19-20. Frank De Lima's comedy show is a witty revue of banter and songs that poke fun at people, places or situations; whatever he thinks could use a quick kick in the funny bone. Be prepared with new giggles, as Frank constantly updates his show and his collection of outrageous characters, goofy costumes, funny songs and “zinger” asides to keep the show fresh and funny fo’evah! Tickets: $25.

7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Alison Arngrim - Jun. 8. “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch”. In this hilarious high-energy one-woman show, Little House on the Prairie’s pre-eminent brat, Nellie Oleson (aka Alison Arngrim) takes to the stage to recount her wild adventures in Hollywood and beyond. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

EVENTS

Why Whales Do That - Mon-Sat through May 15.

Free informational center about whales with free ongoing showings of the film, “Why Whales Do That”.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Alongside the Ma'alaea Harbor.

Contact: Anne Rillero 249-8811.

Fundraiser - This St. Patrick's Day and through performances in March, April and May, leprechaun/magician Neil Bruce aka "The Amazing Stuporman" will

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Evolution, No cover, 9pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

donate 1/2 of the proceeds for all magic shows to the East Maui Animal Refuge, “The Boo Boo Zoo,” Maui's only warm and fuzzy wildlife rehabilitation facility.

Animal lovers who sign up for a magic performance at the event of their choice will receive a tax deduction for 2006. For more info or to request a show call 5735313 by Mar. 31.

Dog Training - Sign up now to take dog training classes at the Maui Humane Society. Classes start April 11. $110 ($50 discount if your pet was adopted from MHS). 877-3680.

THURSdAY, MARCH 16

Picnic with Poki - Live music celebrating Girl's Day in Japan. Traditional Hawaiian music, complimentary Jamba Juice, Starbucks coffee and more! Donations benefit Punana Leo o Maui. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Next to the Historic Ka'ahumanu Church, under the Monkeypod tree, Wailuku.

GED Class - Hui Malama Learning Center offers a GED class to residents of Hana. Free. 5-7 p.m. Hana Library, 244-5911.

Gina Marinelli 7pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 877-3680.

“Sunset Jazz at Whalers Village” - The jazz performances are free and feature some of Maui’s-and America’s-greatest jazz artists. 6-9 p.m., Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 661-4567.

Chair-idible Event - Those 20 chairs that have been on display at Queen K Center are off to find new homes. A live auction complete with food and drink is your opportunity to take one home. $100 to take part.

6:30 p.m., The Place, Maalaea, 244-8760.

Yeehaw! - Line dance lessons. All types of music. All ages welcome. Every Sun. Free. 7 p.m., Lahaina Cannery Mall, surf.song@verizon.net, 667-9513.

TUESdAY, MARCH 21

FRIdAY, MARCH 17

KCA Community Meeting - Kihei Community Association meets with Council members Dain Kane and Michelle Anderson about South Maui concerns.

6:30-8 a.m., Kihei Community Center, 879-4836. Or visit www.southmaui.org.

Kalama Park Action Team - Citizens patrol of Kalama Park with purpose of keeping it safe, clean and friendly. Meets 3rd Tuesday of each. Meet your neighbors, bring ideas. Have fun and be part of the solution!

5:30-6 p.m. Kihei Community Center, 879-5654.

Belly Dance - You don’t get this type of entertainment just anywhere. Juliet Malin, Leyla Atwill and Barb Walsh make up Tiara Bellydance Company.

Y’know, I’ve always said every girl should own a tiara.

Have dinner and enjoy the show! 7:30 p.m., The Greek Bistro, 879-9330.

SATURdAY, MARCH 18

ABIT - Not a lot, baby girl, just a little bit. An informal meeting for Maui Community College’s four-year degree, a Bachelor of Applied Science in Applied Business and Information Technology (ABIT). I don’t think this is what 50 Cent was talking about. 3-4 p.m., Ka’a’ike building 105B, 984-3601.

“WOW!” - Wailea on Wednesdays now presents live performances at The Shops at Wailea in the Lower Courtyard. This week: Te Tiare Patitifa. 6:30-8 p.m.

891-6770 ext. 2.

V-Day Continues - In solidarity with the International Women's Day movement and to celebrate Women's History Month, see “V-Day: Until the Violence Stops". This documentary follows the grassroots impact of the V-Day movement in five international communities. Features Eve Ensler, Rosario Dawson, Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek and Isabella Rosellini. Donations welcome. 7 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku, 244-9091.

Art Night - Every Fri. night. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action, and refreshments, all free and open to the public! 7-10 p.m., Front St., 667-9194.

Clothing Drive - Big Brothers Big Sisters Club of Maui is having their monthly clothing drive. Clean out your closets and bring your old, reusable clothing and small household items and enter to win a 3-month pass to 24 Hour Fitness. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Wal-Mart Parking lot (near the service center), 242-9754.

Women's Empowerment Luncheon - Featuring community leaders including: Elizabeth Ayson, Gladys Baisa, Sen. Roz Baker, Sharman Brown, Ann Crowe, Ave Diaz, Kehau Filimoe'atu and Helen Nielsen. Door prizes will be awarded. Lunch included. $10. 12-2 p.m., Maui Tropical Plantation, Waikapu, 874-6272.

Author Spotlight - Maui author Clare Ventura will read from and sign copies of her new book Self Help Stories. Donations welcome. 4 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku, 244-9091.

Black, White & Red Affair - It’s been 20 years since Maui AIDS Foundation began. In order to celebrate, they’re having a gala complete with live music and entertainment as well as live and silent auctions, a buffet dinner and an award presentation. $85. 5:3010 p.m., King Kamehameha Golf Club, 242-4900.

Weekly Fund Raiser - Ballroom and Latin dance.

Get your practice on. Singles and couples welcome. $5 donation for Greg Roberts' battle with Skin Cancer.

6:15-9:45 p.m. Maui Arts and Cultural Center's Omori Studio B. 874-0297.

SUNdAY, MARCH 19

Clothing Drive - Big Brothers Big Sisters Club of Maui is having their monthly clothing drive. Clean out your closets and bring your old, reusable clothing and small household items and enter to win a 3-month pass to 24 Hour Fitness. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Wal-Mart Parking lot (near the service center), 242-9754.

Treasure Run - For all motorcycle enthusiasts, join Koa Puna M/C on the annual St. Patrick's Day Treasure Run. Raffle prizes, 50/50 and Poker Run, also raffles given out at every stop. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to a community organization, to be announced at the run. Registration and T-shirt Sales will begin at 9 am at Kahului Burger King parking lot and the run will start at 10 a.m. www.koapuna.com or 280-4451.

Mobile Adoption - Live on the West Side? Can’t make it to the Maui Humane Society to check out the pets up for adoption? Candace Harpole and volunteers are bringing some pups your way. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.,

WEDNESdAY, MARCH 22

KEIKI

After-School Help - Hui Malama Learning Center offers homework help, recreation, computer classes and more. Free. 2:30-4:30 p.m. 399 N. Market St, 9860700 or 244-5911(for other locations).

Weed Warriors - Maui Invasive Species Committee is looking for young adults, ages 14+, to help with reallife data collection and resource management. The first upcoming trip is a survey for ivy gourd on March 25. Next is a trip to catch coqui frogs on March 28.

Space is limited, so call about it now if you’re interested. 573-6472.

Tryouts - Thu-Fri. Tryouts for 2nd Annual Boys & Girls Club of Maui Talent Showcase. Four divisions: vocal solo, vocal group, dance solo/group and instrumental solo/group. In all five BGCM locations. 572-6916; 5759024; 242-4363; 760-5050; 667-9314.

Book Signing - Sat. “Seahorse Treasures” author Laurie Shimizu Ide will be available to meet and sign her new book. Free. 11 a.m.-1 p.m., Maui Ocean Center Store, 270-7075.

Mad Hatter's Tea Party - Sat. Arts and crafts, face painting, Easter egg hunt, free sample classes in Theatre, Creative Movement, Dance, Tumbling and more. Come dressed in fancy costume! Free. 1-6 p.m., The Studio Maui, Haiku, 575-9390. Or visit www.thestudiomaui.com.

After-School Tutoring - Every Tue and Thu. Hui Malama Learning Center provides trained tutors to all children who attend this after school program.

Students who attend will also have the opportunity to learn hula, play ‘ukulele, play games and more. Free.

2:30-4 p.m., 399 N Market St., Wailuku. For info, call 986-0700.

Graphic Design for Teens - Every Mon. Hands-on graphic design class using PC computers with Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. For teenagers only. Free. 34 p.m. at Hui Malama Learning Center, Wailuku. 2445911, ext. 35.

lECTURE

Free Workshops - Thu. For students and adults interested in becoming mentors. Covers a variety of

TUE - Curtis, 7pm

subjects, emphasis on tobacco prevention. 8 a.m.-3 p.m., MACC, 244-5911.

Improve Your Skills - Hui Malama Learning Center offers free tutoring for adults wishing to improve reading or spelling skills. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need it, but maybe someone you know does? Call Jill Beyer at 242-1174.

"Entrepreneurship Talk Story" - Every Fri. Established and Start-up entrepreneurs as well as other business service providers welcome to share challenges, solutions, brainstorm and network. Free.

11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Maui County Business Resource Center located in the Maui Mall. 873-8247.

Clean Forum - Mon. A new kind of politics is taking root called Clean Money, Clean Elections. A forum on this revolutionary movement will be led by Kory Payne, Field Director of Hawaii's Voter Owned Elections (VOE). Donations welcome. 6 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku, 244-9091.

Meet the Curators - Tue. Guests will learn how Maui Ocean Center was built, discover the intricacies of an ‘open seawater’ system, find out where the aquarium’s animals come from and hear about what’s taking place behind-the-scenes. Free. 5:50 p.m., Maui Ocean Center’s Open Ocean Exhibit, enter at front gate. 270-7075.

English as a Second Language - Every Tue & Thu. Hui Malama offers ESL classes for residents and visitors.

9 a.m.-12 p.m., 160 N. Market St., Wailuku, 249-0111.

Words of Peace - Wed-Thu. Prem Rawat broadcasts messages of world and inner peace. Not associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu, 7 a.m., Akaku Channel 52, www.contactinfo.org, 573-3084.

ART

Art Maui 2006 - Through Apr. 8. Art Maui 2006 will showcase the best multi-media work by Maui’s artists.

Free. Daily 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Schaefer International Gallery, MACC, 244-8272.

Plein Air - Sat. Plein Air Artists, Julie Houck, Jan Bushart, Jack Hamilton, Janet Spreiter, Susie Anderson and Jan Shaner gather for the Artists reception on Sat. 5-8 p.m. Paintings will remain on display through Apr. 14. Maui Hands Gallery, Paia, 573-2021 or 579-9245.

Lei Makers - Sat & Sun. Coryn Tanaka and May Masaki, authors of Making Eyelash Crochet Leis (vol.

1, 2, & 3) and Making Ribbon Leis (vol. 1 & 2), will be making doing workshops, demonstrations, and book signings. Sat, 12-3 p.m., Baldwin High School Cafeteria; Sun, 12-1 p.m. at Borders Kahului.

Eyes Hear, Ears See - Sun. Artists and musicians will switch roles during the third movement of a fourmovement composition. The musicians paint and the painters make music. All return to their original positions for the fourth and most exploratory movement.

The final result will be four original paintings created in true collaboration between musicians and visual artists. $8. 5 p.m., The Studio Maui, 575-9390.

POETRY

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. For info, call 276-5467.

POLITICAL

Shoreline Certification - Thu. Public Hearing on proposed change to State's rules re: shoreline certification. 6 p.m., Velma McWayne Santos Community Center, Wailuku.

Talk Story - Mon-Thu. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m. on KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145.

Phone Bank - Sat. Francine Busby is a progressive Democrat running in a special election on Apr. 11 in North San Diego County to replace Republican Congressman Duke Cunningham. Progressives across the nation are supporting Francine, who has a great chance to make this seat a Democratic pickup. 2:30 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku. Bring cell phones and friends! 866-632-3066 or visit busbyforcongress.org.

Maui Talks - Every Tue. A live, public affairs, call-in talk show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m., Channel 53.

Call in at 873-3430 or for info call 572-8787.

Thursday

03/16

Friday 03/17

JACQUES

Live Entertainment 9pm

Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Kenny Roberts, 6pm

El Nino 6pm

The Dogg House 10pm

MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Thirsty Thursdays w/DJ Stylz, 10pm

Lahaina Grown 10pm

Hot Latin Nights w/Jammin’ J 9pm

Adam Bowen 9:30pm

MON - Crunch Pups, 10pm; Tue - Pani Mai & J Dogg, 8pm; WED - Music w/Curtis, 9:30pm

TBA 10pm

Scott Baird & Co. 10pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LIFE’S A BEACH

Brian & the boys from Cool Rush, 9pm

St. Patrick’s Day Bash 9pm

Vince Esquire 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

ENVIRONMENTAL

Clean-Up - Fri. Adopt a Highway Clean-Up by Maui Korean Community Assn. Anyone can join in, giving a helping hand. 8-11 a.m. Meet at Outback Steak House parking lot, Kihei, 298-8929.

Service Trip - Sat. One day service trip at Haleakala.

Projects include invasive plant removal, greenhouse work, planting, painting, ‘opala pickup and more.

Appropriate for families with children age 6 & above.

Bring water, snacks, sun and rain protection, warm layers, work gloves (if possible), and comfortable boots or closed walking shoes. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Meet at the Maintenance Yard, just past the entrance gate. 876-1673.

SPORTS

Run to the Sun - Mar. 25. If you haven’t started training yet, I don’t think you’re going to make it. It’s a 36-mile ultra marathon starting at sea level and climbing to the 10,023 ft. summit of Haleakala, legendary "Home of the Sun." Visit www.virr.com for more info.

Golf Tournament - Apr. 8. It’s the 18th Annual Central Pacific Bank Golf Tournament! It has a really big title! It’s a benefit for the Maui Arts & Cultural Center! I feel like exclaiming! $500, $150. 6:45 a.m.

Makena Resort, 242-2787 ext. 225.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch, Mon and Thu; Howard Ahia Fri-Sun; Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thu; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; TBA, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Acoustic Music every night.

7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant - Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s - Sam Ahia, Wed.-Sat., 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Crazy Fingers, Thu, 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Wed Jarret Robak 3:30 5:30 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

Maui Brewing Co. - Nino Toscano, Thu-Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien Awai/ Kawika Lum Ho, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Damien Awai, Wed. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3473.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn - Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 p.m.; Captain Billy Bones, Tue, 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Piano Music with Shiro Mori - Thu., Darrin Lenett - Fri, Gene Argel - Mon. -Tue., Angie Carr, Wed., all shows 6-8 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant - Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon and Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Whalers Village Events - All performances take place at the center stage. Sun, Magic show and face painting, 6-8 p.m.; Mon, Dances of Polynesian, 6:30-7 p.m., Drums of Tahiti; 7:30-8 p.m.; Tue, Lei making class 12-2 p.m.; Wed, Polynesian Hula, 6:30-7, 7:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Benoit Jazz Trio, 7-8 p.m.; Free. For info, call 661-4567.

WM – Live music nightly, 6-9:30 p.m., Wed; Late night Cafe: Lucid Fusion, jazz trio, Thu, Fri, Sat. 3350 L.

LETTERS

NEWS

Monday03/20 – Wednesday03/22

DJ El Gato $5, 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Saturday03/18 Sunday03/19

COVER STORY

SURF

Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898.

SOUTH MAUI

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo, Fri and Mon, 6:30-9 p.m.; Braddah Frances and friends, Sat, 6:30 p.m.; Terri Garrison, Sun, 4-6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston, Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo, Sun and Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon. All sets 710 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Wailea Nights w/ Willie K & Eric Gilliom, Thu and Fri, 8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7 p.m.; Gypsy Pacific, Mon, 7 p.m.; Benoit Jazz Works, Tue, 7 p.m.; Joyce & Gord, Wed, 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour, $3 special's. Live entertainment. Tony & Peter, Sun, Tue and Thu; Wed and Fri, Trevor Jones 4-6 p.m. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Spices - Kenny Roberts, Sun & Mon.; Kaleo Cullen with hula show by Cora, Tue.; Keoki Ruiz, Wed.; Kawika Lum Ho, Thu.; Kaleo Cullen, Fri.; Louis Lambert, Sat. All sets 6-9 p.m. Poolside, The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd, 891-8860.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical CafÊ – Guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Wed-Fri; Brian Wittman, Sat; Patrick Mayor, Sun-Mon. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, WedSun 7-10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei, 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI

Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului CafĂŠ Marc Aurel - Sat; Shimmy Nights Transport yourself to realms of the Mysterious and Exotic with Live Belly Dance performances. Two shows 7 p.m. & 8 p.m. Mon, Express Yourself with Music, Song, Poetry Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. all shows no cover.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852.

MaĂąana Garage - Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30-9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed, 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

Unisan - Sushi and more. Mon, Tue & Thu; Billy. Wed, Fri & Sat; Allen. All performances 6-8 (or 9)p.m. 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Jacque’s - Live Jazz, Mon, 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Fri-Sat and Wed, 9 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Live Jazz, Wed and Fri; Anik, Sun, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

■EMBASSY VACATION RESORT 104 KA’ANAPALI SHORES, LAHAINA, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu and Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon and Tue. All sets from 5:309:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30-9:30 p.m. ■KA’ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages: Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard Of Ka’anapali Beach Hotel: Live

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

MON - Dr.Nat, Jazz/Salsa, No cover, 7:30-10pm; WED - MJ3, Live Jazz, 7-10pm

MON - Open Mic w/Adam Bowen, 9pm; TUE - Kanoa & Sean of Gomega, 10pm; WED - Hoku, 9pm MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Dr. Nat, 8:30-11:30pm

music featuring Hawaii’s premier Slack Key Guitarists Ola Hou with Pekelo Cosma and Ohana Brown, Fri, 6-9 p.m.

Whalers Village Center Stage: Thus, Hula Lessons 3 p.m.- 4 p.m. Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak, 7 p.m.-8 p.m. Fri, Lei Making Class 12-2p.m.

Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sat Drums of the Island 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sun, Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak 7-8p.m. 7-8 p.m. Mon, Dances of Polynesian 6:30 p.m.-7 p.m. Drums of Tahiti 7:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.Tue, Lei Making Class 11a.m.-1p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m-8 p.m. Wed Polynesian Hula Show 7p.m-8p.m. All Shows free. ■MAUI MARRIOTT 100 NOHEA KAI DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m. ■NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m. ■RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA ONE RITZ-CARLTON DRIVE, KAPALUA, 6696200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Kapalua Indoor Theater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Wed 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. 1-888-669-3858. â– ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 KEKAA DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 661-3611 Live Hawaiian music, 6-8pm Thu-Sat in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly. â– SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly; Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly. â– THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 667-2525 Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon and Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri, 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue and Thu, and Wed and Sat 7- 9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI

â– FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m.

Sunset torchlighting nightly. ■GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, Live Music, Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. ■THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Live music with Toshomee 6:30 p.m. -9:30 p.m.Thu-Sat.s ■THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA East Wing- Live music with Marti Kluth playing classical, pop, and Jazz piano 6:30 p.m. -8 p.m., Wed Lower Courtyard- Live music with Jamie Lawerence and a Hawaiian band 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Wed ■WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. ■RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-4900

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Sunset Terrace: Live Hawaiian contemporary music

by Lono, Mon-Tue; Bobby Krueger, Wed-Thu; Mahalo Greg, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat; Mondo Kane, Sun. All sets 6-9 p.m. ■MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 MAKENA ALANUI, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.; Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI

â– HOTEL HANA-MAUI HANA, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge: Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

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MARCH 16, 2006

25

Thursday

03/16

LONGHI’S

Friday 03/17

Saturday03/18 Sunday03/19

Monday03/20 – Wednesday03/21

Erin Smith Band $5, 10pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Neto, Latin salsa night, No cover, 8-11pm

LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

The Willies, No cover, 8-11pm

Live Music, No cover, 8-9pm; Live DJ, No cover, 9pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai - 669-3474

MAUI WAVERIDERS, B&G

DJ & Dancing

No info

No info

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Brandon No cover, 9pm

DJ Brandon No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Turk, No cover 9pm; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ El Gato 10pm

MON - WED - Live Entertainment

Showcase Sunday 9pm

MON - Shake Your Heini w/Kapakahi, $5, 9pm; TUE - Top 10 Tues, 9pm; WED - Party Like a Rockstar, 9pm

900 Front St, Lahaina - 661-1200

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

Pre St. Patrick’s Party 8pm

St. Patrick’s Day Party 8pm

Live Entertainment

Live Entertainment

Live Entertainment

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

Jam Down Reggae Fest 9pm

St. Patty’s w/Lucky Charm 9pm

Sin City w/Flava Zone 9pm

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Durty, No cover, 9pm

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

NEPTUNES

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

PARADICE BLUZ

744 Front St., Lahaina - 667-5299

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali - 667-4727

Crunch Pups, No Cover, 9:30pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

UNISAN

2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

MARCH 16, 2006

MON - DJ Ed V, 10pm, No Cover; TUE - DJ Afro-Flatulence, No Cover, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, No Cover, 10pm

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm DJ Blast, $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

26

TUE - Phat Tues w/Q103, all day; WED - DJ & Dancing, 10pm

DA KINE CALENDAR

Erin Smith No Cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9:30pm

Habanero Bros $3, 9pm

Haiku Hillbillys $3, 9 pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

Hale No cover, 9:30pm

TUE - Dylan Donkin, No cover, 9:30pm; WED - John Moore Project, No cover, 9:30pm

JUST FOR YOU Ladies.. find your bliss. Strong, sensual man available for erotic bodywork and tantric experiences. Magic on Maui 298-5927 outcall only FROM THE HEART Therapeutic touch, energywork & tantric instruction. Transmute sexual energy for prime health, vitality & Kundalini. 9-9pm daily. 572-2623

Adult Services The Garden of Sensual Delight Beautiful, sexy and sweet!

DIVINE TANTRA Spa Session 269-2263

INANNA

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit

298-7327

Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

LARGEST SELECTION OF ADULT MOVIES

Taste of Tantra

264-6325

incall/Kihei • outcall upon request

Magdalene’s Garden Specializing in the art of Sacred Sexuality, Erotic Dance Performances, Sensual Massage, Sexual Healing. 250-6468 TOTALLY RELAX AND LET GO Come and experience my wonderful touch. Very sensuous, enjoyable and healing. 250-4557

Tantric Loving Bodywork

VIDEO HEAD CLEANERS DVD’S VHS TOYS

249-8414 Maui Adult Video The All New!

Wailuku Industrial Park Open Mon-Fri @ 2:30PM Sat & Sun @ 3pm

GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad# 4003 BODYWORK FOR MEN Treat yourself to an awesome fullbody session in a private & relaxing studio. Call Dennis at 344-3425

Island Beauties Are Waiting For YOU

344-3414

visit us online at w w w . m a u i t i m e p e r s o n a l s . c o m

LoveShack

T O BE C O M E A M EM B ER , C AL L

Call now to book a LoveShack party at your house and recive free gifts!! 573-0303

CALL COSTS $1.99/MIN. MUST BE 18+ TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS USING A CREDIT CARD, CALL

In/Out Call

TANTRIC GODDESS Sweet, Sensual & Loving 874-3831 www.sacredunion.org

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 661-3786

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

NORTH SHORE HOTTIES

269-2483

NOW HIRING!

Pleasures inParadise

•Toys, Novelties, Lingerie, Gifts for Couples, Alternative Lifestyle

∫ Love•Compassion•Ecstacy ∫ Exquisite Experiences

We put the Class in Adult Shopping & the Spice in Adult Fun

∫ Tantric Touch ∫ Intimacy Assured

Magik Mermaids ∫879-3500 ∫

www.ParadiseSpice.com

(808) 249-2449 Open Daily 10:00AM to Mid (7:00PM Sun) 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku, HI

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

Elegant Ambience ∫ Garden Temple

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

LET’S HAVE LUNCH Spiritual, passionate, warm SM, 55, enjoys the outdoors, looking to meet a beautiful, passionate woman, N/S, to share quality conversation, dancing, movies, romance 874409 and happiness.

YOUNG AND FULL OF FUN Down-to-earth kind of guy, 34, with a big sense of humor, never afraid of trying something new. Seeking compatible, fun SF, 18-50, to share life adventures. 923028 @ okoleman69

WHY NOT? SWM, 32, 165lbs, black/brown. I am looking for an open, honest, faithful, loving female, who is ready to start a meaningful relationship. I enjoy sports, beach, spend 898633 time w/family.

PARTY! Sociable, easygoing, fun, open-minded guy, 24, looking for a cool, cut SWF to share the good times in life.

926130 NEW TO TOWN SM, 33, just moved here from England, so yeah iIve got that cute accent.... looking for some new friends to have fun with, get in touch, see what happens :-) 899982 @ Rory PRIVATE CHEF I might be just what you’re looking for! Love to hike, play tennis, work out, travel around the Isles or abroad. Seeking SF, 25-40.

944126 @ mauibuck2

MEN Seeking Men LET’S GIVE IT A TRY SM, 38, enjoys beach, walking dogs, etc. Looking for single male, 35-45, who has varied interest and is seeking a good friend.

883765

YO'R MAMA CALLED!

B A C H E LO R PA R T I E S I N D I V I D U A LS • C O U P L E S

Paris Hilton, WWE Star Chyna, 100’s More

BEAUTIFUL, SENSUAL ARTIST ...seeks non-smoking SWM, 45-65, to share the beauty of life on Maui - starting with cool, crisp wine, and wondrous sunsets, cozy candelight dinners with soft music, and stimulating conversation.

616262

249-8902

•New Release DVD’s

WOMEN Seeking Men

LET’S GET KNOW EACH OTHER SM, 35, 5’11”, 240lbs, black hair, brown eyes, enjoys going out clubbing, partying with friends, and hanging out at the beach. Seeking spontaneous and open-minded SF, for dating.

878375

NAUGHT Y F R I S K Y K I TTIES

Rated #1 Clean, Friendly, Best Selection, Price & Service

To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920

MEN Seeking Women

“Let us show you the wild side of the ISLAND”

Paradise Spice XXX Superstore

1.800.721.0152

WICKED WAHINES!

CHARGE IT!

1.900.226.0169

to open your heart & delight your body.

891-0501

1 . 8 0 0 . 71 0 . 8 7 35

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

Sacred Sensual Bodywork

310 Ho’okahi St.

MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-521-6696.

Ad#4288

Make your Home a

She said She

Needs it Harder!

Monkey Spankers

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 16, 2006

27

AUTOMOTIVE CARS - FOREIGN 1995 NISSAN 240-SX Low Miles, Great Condition. $4500/OBO 573-3376

TRUCKS, MOTORCYCLES, RVS GRAND OPENING SALE! Mopeds Plus in Lahaina. $100 off all mopeds. All models come with helmet, cover & alarm. 991 Limahana Place, in the old Requests record shop. 661-8878

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

HEY MAUI...

OHANAYARDSALES.COM is your NEW, FREE way to BUY and SELL your STUFF. • USE PICTURES NOT JUST TEXT • STOP DRIVING ALL OVER THE ISLAND • CREATE AND MANAGE YOUR OWN ACCOUNT • AND BEST OF ALL...IT’S FREE!

GO to OHANAYARDSALES.COM and see what all the FUN is about!

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

Captain Bondo 283-0104

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES MYSTERY SHOPPERS GET

BUY & SELL

MUSIC & ARTS

EMPLOYMENT

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 ISLAND COINS & STAMPS

WE BUY & SELL

667- 6155

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

28

MARCH 16, 2006

REAL ESTATE

GUITAR PLAYER WANTED

FOR SALE

Original music in the style of Sheryl ULUPALAKUA Established Farm, 2+ ac., Bldgs., Crow/Beth Hart. Serious players only ADULT SUPERSTORE $685K, Michael 249-2070 Is currently hiring for Sales/Cashier for recording and gigs. Katie 214-9127 COMMERCIAL PROPERTY help. Experience preferred, but will WANNA BE A ROCK STAR? 2 story income property in Kihei, cultrain. Immediate opening, full-time.

Singer/songwriter looking for musi- de-sac, $4000 monthly income.

Apply in-person 249-2449 cians. Punk/Pop all-girl band. Ambitious $799,000. Completely remodeled.

Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front OFFICE ASSISTANT & serious only. 808-387-1980 Maui 808-879-8300 Fax:808-573-2003 For Wellness Center. Serene setting MUSICAL NEWLY REMODELED w/unique benefits and healthy opportunities. Call 249-8280 2 units, 2500 sq. ft., Pergo floors, INSTRUCTION $4000 monthly income. $799,000. $ MODELS WANTED $ Sing Out Weekly Classes Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front For calendar magazine and artistic w/Louise Lambert Maui 808-879-8300 Fax: 808-573-2003 print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 World Class Vocalist, Pianist, ProYoga Retreat Camp Voice Coach, teaches singing from 2.4 m. Turnkey owner. 9.4 acres, GOVERNMENT JOBS the heart, piano & songwriting. Maui sleeps 25 people. Located in Haiku.

Earn Up to $12 to $48/Hour. Full Sat. 6-9pm. Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front Medical/Dental Benefits, Paid Coast-poolside, Maui 808-879-8300 Fax: 808-573-2003 Training.

Clerical, Administrative, www.louiselambert.com 205-3971

Homeland Security, Wildlife, Law PAID TO SHOP Enforcement, More! 1-800-320-9353 FULLY STOCKED HYDROPONIC Retail & Dining establishments need x.2001. (AAN CAN) quality reports from under cover GARDEN STORE clients. Earn up to $150 per day. Call UP TO $1750 WEEKLY INCOME! 300 Hukilike St. #2M, Kahului 1-888-290-3613. (AAN CAN) Nationwide Company Now Needs Industrial. Call (808) 283-3427 for Home Mailers Now! Easy Work! $50.00 hours & directions.

HOME REFUND JOBS! Cash Hiring Bonus! Written Guarantee!

Earn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly Free Information Call 1-800-242-0363 Maui’s mobile Pawn Shop Processing Company Refunds Online! ext. 4213 (24 HRS). (AAN CAN) First National Pawn 877-0676 Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience *MOVIE EXTRAS* Pay Day Loans Needed! Positions Available Today!

Online Now! Earn $150-$300/Day. All Looks/Types Cash Loan Now, $300 Instant , & Pay Register check loan advances. Kamaaina Loan www.PaidRefundJobs.com (AAN CAN) Needed. No Experience Necessary.

TV, Music Videos, Commercials, Film, 242-5555 EARN $3486 WEEKLY!!

Print. Call Tollfree 7 days! 1-800-260Process Rebates From Home. Earn $15.00 3949 x3025 (AAN CAN) Per Rebate. Extremely Easy! Amazing HOME TYPISTS NEEDED! Business Opportunity! No Experience JEWELRY • DIAMONDS Required. Register Online Today! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly! Typing WATCHES • COINS www.ProcessRebates.com (AAN CAN) from Home! Guaranteed Paychecks!

COLORED STONES No Experience Needed! Positions $AS SEEN ON TV$ MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS Available Today! Register Online Now! SURF BOARDS Cash Advances for structured lawsuit www.Type4Cash.com (AAN CAN) settlements, annuity payments, STAY HOME! lottery/casino winnings. Prosperity Partners to cash in future payments! www.ppiEarn Extra Cash Weekly! Mailing cash.com 1-800-815-3503. (AAN CAN) Letters From Home!Easy Work! No 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA Experience Required!

FREE ACQUIRE FORECLOSURES! Information Package! Call 24/hrs. 1You Find It! We Fund It! Co-Own or Cash 800-242-0363 ext.4223 (AAN CAN) Out! Access to 7,500 Investors! Free Info: COOL TRAVEL JOB!!!

1-800-854-1952 ext. 070. (AAN CAN) One Month Paid Training! $500 Sign coins, tokens, $AS SEEN ON TV$ on Bonus. Must be free to travel & start medals, stamps, Cash Advances for structured lawsuit today. 1-800-596-0996. (AAN CAN) paper money, settlements, annuity payments, lotMEDIA MAKE-UP ARTISTS tery/casino winnings. Prosperity Hawaiiana, sport collectibles Partners to cash in future payments! earn up to $500/day for www.ppicash.com 1-800-815-3503. television,CD/videos, film, fashion.

(AAN CAN) One week course in Los Angeles 3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr. while building portfolio. Brochure 310$$CASH$$ 364-0665 www.Media Makeup Artists.com (AAN CAN)

$BUY & SELL$

CLASSIFIED

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

MUSICIANS WANTED

PARADISE SPICE-MAUI’S

$500 Police Impounds Cars from $500! Tax Repos, US Marshall and IRS Sales! Cars, Trucks, NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS SUV’s, Toyota’s, Honda’s, Chevy’s and more! For Listings Call 1-800-298- MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! 4150 xC107. (AAN CAN) Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late!

Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, HydroInexpensive Paint Jobs, Optix Masks! (808) 250-1234 www. & Bodywork shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC

Paint Jobs Cars at $469 • Trucks at $669

HIRING FOR 2006 Immediate Cash for Structured Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, AVG POSTAL EMPLOYEE EARNS Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & $57,000/YEAR. Min. Starting Pay Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth $18.00/hr. Benefits/Paid Training - #1 1-(800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN) &Vacations. No Exp. Needed. 1-800584-1775 Ref # P4401. (AAN CAN) EARN $3,500 WEEKLY! Data Entry Workers Needed Online MODEL SEARCH!!

Immediately! Work from Home! www.5people.net Call 808-5-PEOPLE Guaranteed Income! No Experience Necessary. Register Online Today! www.DataEntryCash.com (AAN CAN)

WEST MAUI HOMES FROM 700,000 CONDOS FROM 211,000 SOUTH MAUI HOMES FROM 470,000 CONDOS FROM 240,000

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

APARTMENTS FOR RENT Kaimana’s Beach Hale At Baby Beach in Lahaina www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month..$125-$195 a day..your own private Ohana this has even continental breakfast served.

Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W..call 667-6968 for info.

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roomGOV’T HOMES! mate with a click of the mouse! Visit: MUSICIAN SERVICES $0 DOWN! BANK REPO’S & FORE- www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN) DO YOU NEED MUSIC FOR CLOSURES! NO CREDIT OK! ANY SPECIAL EVENT? $0/LOW DOWN! Call for listings 1- VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Fishnet Productions-All Styles-Call 800-498-8532 (AAN CAN) Karen for Booking. 891-8615 Accommodations in our vacation BANK FORECLOSURES! Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. These Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or homes must sell! For Listings Call 1-800- www.wailukuhouse.com 425-1620 ext. H107. (AAN CAN)

SERVICES

DJ & PA RENTALS ♠ PRIVATE PARTIES ♠ WEDDINGS ♠ DANCES ♠ SACRED OR SECULAR A. COSTANTINO

808.757.0795 ALL KINDS OF MUSIC FOR ALL OCCASIONS

NOTICES FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV

BANK FORECLOSURES MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluThese homes must sell! For listings minum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for Call 1-800-425-1834 ext. H404 $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

NEWLY REMODELED Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 1 bedroom, 1 bath unit located across 244-0443 from Kamaole One Beach in popular South Kihei. Tiled floors and lanai, all new appliances, cabinets and countertops deck out this condo. Resort style amenities include six tennis courts and three pools. Vacation rent or call Call 283-3260 home. Price reduced to $389,000. by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

Century 21-All Islands/wailea, Josh Jerman R (S) Direct: (808) 283-2222

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY!

TESTING OFFERED THROUGH YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH Kihei-Mondays at Keolahou Church 11am-2pm. Wailuku-Tuesdays at Wailuku Health Center 1pm-3pm.

Paia-Wednesdays at Paia Community Center 12:30pm-3:00pm. LahainaThursdays at Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center 9am-12pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call 984-2129

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina

Maui Lawn Works “we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

MISCELLANEOUS HIGH POWER DIGITAL LIGHTING Now available for the first time on Maui. many commercial and agricultural applications. Call Ohana Greenhouse and Garden Supply @ 283-3427 to hear about this new technology.

SIGNLANGUAGE

In some cases, signs opposite each other on the zodiac wheel aren’t so different. Leos and Aquarians, for example, are in many ways quite similar. You and your opposing sign, Virgo, however, have little common ground. They embrace organization, order, activity and efficiency, and see chaos as a thing to tame. You, on the other hand, treasure your periods of inactivity, can be equally inspired or overwhelmed by chaos, and reject entirely the idea of exerting too much control over your reality. It’s not that one viewpoint is better than the other. It’s just that each has its own advantages. Given your situation this week, acting like a Virgo will serve you better than your usual M.O. ever could. Why don’t you try it?

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

If not now, when?

Different predators use different methods to catch their prey. Some lie patiently in wait for long periods. Others stalk their victims until they can catch them unawares. Some lay traps. Still others rely on greater strength or speed to simply run them down. And some, like the wiliest of your tribe, employ all of these strategies and more, when in pursuit of what they want. Many of you, however, stick to the one or two methods that come most naturally, and thus miss out on lots of money, action and fun. Exercise your versatility this week, Aries, and instead of using the same tired old game, try something that might actually work.

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

CAERIEL CRESTIN

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Maui Recycling Service

Jason Meyer 573-1920

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring people specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. EXPENSES PAID. Toll free 24/ 7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 2/28/06

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Is sex the glue that holds your relationship together (or kept previous connections from falling apart)? That’s not uncommon and it’s certainly understandable. But it’s also why so many relationships fall apart when the sex ebbs (as it inevitably does), and why earnest post-break-up entreaties to “still be friends” so often fail. Is the person you love also someone you like? How much do you enjoy each other out of the sack? This is a good week to address those questions and develop your connection outside the bedroom. I know “work on your friendship” is kind of boring advice this week but guess what? If you do, the sex’ll get better, too.

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

Honolua Surf Co. is now hiring:

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

If you’re still waiting for the stamp of approval from someone—your boss, buddy or lover— you’re deluding yourself, because it’s never going to happen. This doesn’t mean your idea is bad.

It just means he’s not capable of wrapping his head around it, so he’s not going to be able to wholeheartedly support it. Sorry. As much as you’d like to have his encouragement and assistance, you’re on your own with this one. It’s kind of a test. How much do you believe in yourself? How much can you rely on yourself? The good news is that if you pull this one off, despite his doubts, you’ll probably have his cooperation the next time around.

Managers, Assistant Managers, Supervisors, Full and Part time Sales

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

We offer competitive pay, generous employee discount, 401K plan, Medical and Dental insurance, and opportunity for career advancement.

I would say you’re one of the three signs I understand best (probably just after my beloved Leos and Aries). Thus I have tons of compassion for you. I also have a powerful drive to push you because I know that’s what you need sometimes: that little extra shove to shake you out of a rut, jumpstart you into action or simply wake you up. This week I want you to remember the times you’ve most been stuck and how you’ve eventually gotten out of them. Who helped you? How? I don’t care if you’ve already done it but go thank them, again, at once. (Also, if you want to share your tales of escape from self-made traps, please do: Caeriel@yahoo.com).

Apply at any of our Maui locations: Front Street, Cannery Mall, Whalers Village, South Kihei, Shops at Wailea Or fax resume to: 667-2875

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Guilt is not a useful emotion here, especially because it’s regarding other feelings—none of which you can control. If you insist on invoking the whole remorse thing, apply it only to your actions, not your emotions. Above all, reject outside expectations. (For instance, I initially felt pretty guilty when I was more relieved and exhilarated than sad that a relationship was over; that was, however, mostly about ideas I had about what one was “supposed to” feel at the end of a relationship.) Feel what you feel, darling, without judging it one way or another, or complicating the situation with needless self-reproach. You deserve better.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

You might feel this week a bit like a submarine anchored to the ocean floor and running out of air. Your mission, however, demands that you remain here just a little bit longer so panicking would not serve you well. Anyway, everything’s actually fine at the moment; everyone’s got what they need to survive, if not thrive. It’s just that reserves are dangerously low and you can’t help worrying that they won’t suffice to do what you’ve got to do. Keep your cool. It’s probably going to be kind of a close thing. But you’ll pull through.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Last night I dreamt you were doing some kind of bellydance striptease, a la Salomé. You had layers and layers of gauzy veils, which you tantalizingly pulled away until finally you yanked off the last two to reveal what you had on underneath: Granny’s unflattering flannel pajamas. I woke up laughing but I could imagine those who wouldn’t; the ones who don’t share your sense of humor, or who can’t help being led on by their expectations. Be aware of these fellows this week, Libra, because they could, if you let them, spoil your fun.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

I love it when it’s cold and snowy; I was one of the few who didn’t complain the whole winter. I enjoyed every minute of it—until the last month or so. The first few hints of spring in late February—a warm breath of wind, a bit of birdsong—made me hopeful and impatient for the whole deal, so every subsequent snowflake or patch of ice became slightly frustrating. Does this sound familiar? You’ve been venturing happily into the unknown for ages now, but just a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel would probably have you sprinting for it. Am I right? Well, get ready to run, because just such a glimpse should glimmer forth this week.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

No one wakes up looking their best. For most of us, it takes a little while to get up to speed; we’ve got to shower, shit, fix our bedheads and so on before we’re ready to put our best faces forward. So I don’t know why you’re expecting to jump right into your newest venture and perform at the top of your game. Would you enter a modeling contest fresh out of bed and still hung-over from the night before? This is much the same. Give yourself time to warm up, prepare and get into it. If it’s a race and others pull ahead, so be it. You can work on catching up later. I’m still betting on you—and I doubt I’m the only one.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Although naturally there were popular Capricorns, many of your tribe mates weren’t part of the in-crowd when they were in school. In fact, I know lots of poor Goats who suffered horrible nicknames or humiliating situations back then. Most of them moved on, but others never forgot what it was like to feel like an outsider. Now that you’re most definitely an insider—at least in this one particular situation—please remember or imagine what it was like to be left out of that, and what you wished someone might have done for you. Then do exactly that for the one who needs (or deserves) it most.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Still wishing for the body you had five years ago? Don’t you remember that five years back you were longing for the body you had five years before that? When will you be happy? Never, at this rate. No one has the “perfect” body. You’ll basically be content when you simply decide that what you’ve got ain’t so bad. This week, work on being at least satisfied (hell, go for overjoyed, if you can) with the hand you’re dealt. That shouldn’t keep you from making desired changes to improve things, but I guarantee you: change will come a lot easier if you’re happy, not disgruntled, while you go for it.

CAERIEL@YAHOO.COM

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Friday Night

THE

INSIDER

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation.

– Ogden Nash I had a date last Friday night. Okay so it was with myself, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t buy a new dress for the occasion. And I would tell me I looked lovely in it, too, dammit. Later, I might even give it up and let myself stick around in the morning to cook me breakfast. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Naturally, being a classy date, I first had to take myself to Ray’s Deli & Lounge. Ray’s is what us normal, working-class folk refer to affectionately and reverently as a dive bar. And it happens to be a convenient neighborhood stop for me, and all my three-dollar drink and Patsy Cline karaoke needs, as well.

The last time I was in Ray’s—on my birthday—I coerced not one but three patrons to sing songs to me, including sultry Nubian queen Kim, a handsome black-eyed man named after a famous comedian and my favorite Wailuku bartender Mike. They were like my royal court. It was awesome.

But on this night, I was flying solo. It always warrants dubiety, surprise and outright pity when I tell people I’m out alone but honestly, I love to do this. I tend to meet more people, am able to observe more hilarity, can slip in and out of situations at my whim, and I drink less— if at all—‘cause I’m driving.

Although, I have to say, I took a significant risk in deciding to go to Charley’s by myself. But I guess that’s part of the thrill.

With only three bars—two of which are open past 11 p.m.—it was surprising to see Paia so crowded on a Friday night. And I had to drive around several times looking for a parking spot so that was annoying. Carpooling—i.e. going out with friends—does indeed have its merits.

So now I’m in my dress and high heels, treacherously footslogging several blocks through the many interesting groups of Paia’s street culture. There’s the hard-working crew of Mana Foods, looking relieved and weary from a day of slinging boxes of lowfat, organic, enriched vanilla soy milk; the friendly hippies discussing the “healing” effects of jumping from party to party; the parking lot and “under-the-tree” partiers gathering their tribal drums; the mass of attractive uber-Jacques-ians and their windsurfing/model girlfriends; and the motley din of smokers outside of Charley’s saloon doors.

The long trek made me a little anxious to hit the ladies’ room. But on my way out, I felt the scrutinizing gaze of a line of waiting ladies. I couldn’t really tell if the stares were hostile or appreciative, but I wasn’t gonna wait to find out. I made a beeline for the door.

“Wait!” said one. “Nice dress! And you’ve got toilet paper on your shoe.”

Whew, two points for the sisterhood.

Sirus B Posse was on stage, followed by Warsaw Poland Brothers, and of course, there wasn’t an available seat at the bar. I ambled up anyway to begin my fight for the privilege of ordering a cocktail from the inundated help.

“Would you like to sit down?” asked the kindly gentlemen to my left. And so I did. But boy, was I sorry.

He first introduced himself as a cowboy, then a fisherman. Then he tried to get me to dance, as he stared at my boobs, and wanted me to buy him a drink. When it became clear I had walked into a trap, I was rescued by a cool dude to my right, and his lovely female companion.

“Do you always attract the crazies?” she asked.

I wanted to rebut but couldn’t. Instead, Jennifer and I talked about why nice guys/girls like the crazy girls/guys and vice versa. She thought it was some sort of maternal/paternal complex; I said it was escapism.

Then I noticed another fellow lingering close-by. He had thick, long, wavy hair, a big smile on his face, and he was singing loudly and dancing. He was kinda cute, like, in a Muppet kind of way.

I won’t say he was drunk. Just boisterous. And sweaty, really, really sweaty.

“Wow, you’re beautiful,” he said. “Can I have a hug?”

I declined. Apparently, the time had come for me to take myself home so I could remove my dress, heat up some edamame and catch the rest of Conan O’Brien. The date with myself—fun-filled, liberating and insightful—was officially over.

I wonder what Kim is up to next weekend?

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