9.46 Couch Surfing Flat Waves, May 11, 2006, Volume 9, Issue 46

HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, SIGN LANGUAGE, THE MAUI 10, CUNNING LINGLE, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH AND COIN SLOTS I MAY 11, 2006 I VOLUME 9 I ISSUE 46 I MAUITIME.COM I FREE EVERY THURSDAY I

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B

y now, you should know the routine. We ask you, our loyal, wonderful readers, what’s best about Maui, and you tell us. It’s worked pretty well in the past, so we figure on trying it again this year. Here’s our ballot, which we need all of you to fill out by May 18. Seriously—May 18 of this year. See, our Best of Maui issue hits the streets on July 13, but we need time to tabulate your collective wisdom. So get to it! Like, Oh My Gawd!

FOOD & DRINK

Saimin

Pizza

Luau/Dinner show

Breakfast Coffee house

GOODS & SERVICES

Mexican food

Bookstore

Italian food

Hardware store

Lunch

Hair stylist

Restaurant

Record store

Sushi

Secondhand store

Spam Musubi

Tattoo shop

Chef Burrito

POLITICS & ENVIRONMENT

Fine dining

Place to watch the sunset

Bar

County official

Dining with a view

Political activist

Burger

Use of county funds

Dinner

Environmental issue

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SPORTS & LEISURE

Pupus

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Fish tacos

Barbecuing beach

Local food

Beach to look at beautiful people

New restaurant

Snorkeling spot

Steak

Public pool

Sandwich Mai tai

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Cheap food

Movie theater

Place to buy wine

Band

Fish sandwich

Radio station

Ice cream

Place to dance

Pancakes

Thing about the Fair

Plate lunch

Musician

Fish & Chips

Radio personality

Farmer’s market Smoothie

Name ____________________________________________

Male bartender

Address __________________________________________

Female bartender

email ____________________________age ____ sex ____

Mail your Ballots to 33 N. Market Street, Suite 201, Wailuku 96793 or fax to 244-0446. Vote online at www.mauitime.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

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MOREE FOR R LESS C O N T E N T S Scion xA

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Up To 38 mpg Quality Manufactured In Japan *price plus $195 documentation fee, registration fee and State of Hawaii sales tax. Price based on a manual transmission. Mileage Per Gallon based on automatic transmission.

Dr. Burton Feinerman, M.D. Trained in the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN

COVER STORY 10 •Couch Surfing Flat Waves What it was like living the homeless life at the Kahului Beach Park – by Carrie Courtney

MAUI COUNTY 5 •Letters to the Editor 6

•Eh Brah!

•Cunning Lingle •LC Watch •Maui Built A day in the life of a Maui construction worker – by Jack Smith

7 •The Maui 10 8 •Coconut Wireless 9

•Overheard •News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

ONO KINE GRINDS

Consultations regarding new treatments for serious illness

12 •Bentos & Banquets

State-of-the-art Gene Therapy • Embryonic Stem Cells

13 •Dining Listings

Alzheimer’s Memory Loss Advanced Heart Disease Hypertension Genetic Chromosomal Disorders Rheumatoid Arthritis

Lupus Osteoporosis Severe eye problems Psoriasis A.D.D. Impotence Erectile Dysfunction Severe allergies

A week with Bernard, my personal chef - by Jen Russo

Asthma Hepatitis C Cystic Fibrosis Skin Problems Blood Disorders Crohn’s Diabetes Cancer

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office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446

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DA KINE CALENDAR 17 •This Week’s Picks 20 •Film: Blood in the Blue Room Poseidon ( ) – by Cole Smithey

21 •Movies & Times 22 •A&E: Fighting Evil and Making Rhymes

Amphibeus Tungs, p. 22

Position (& Most prized possession) Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com (Baseball autographed by the 1964 Los Angeles Dodgers) Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (My Adrianne Martinez naked lady acrylic) Calendar Editor: Heidi King heidi@mauitime.com (My journals) Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Jack Smith, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Michele Furmato, Sean M. Hower, Jessica Pearl Intern: William Watkins Art Director: Wendy Ortiz wendy@mauitime.com (My wedding ring and band) Production Assistants: David Spink, Jason Strahn Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (My red 1968 Cadillac convertible) Advertising Executive: Ashley Fitch ashley@mauitime.com General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (My sewing machine) Web Design: Bump Networks www.bumpnetworks.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com (My Trio 650)

Amphibeus Tungs, the superheroes of hip-hop on Maui - by Samantha Campos

23 •The Grid & Calendar Listings

CLASSIFIED 27 •Personals 28 •Classified Listings 29 •Sign Language 30 •Mind, Body & Spirit 31 •HoloHolo Girl

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2006 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited.

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MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Cover Design: Wendy Ortiz

LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR ANOTHER BIODIESEL COMPLAINT Regarding the article in your May 5th issue titled “So Frustrating” followed by the question, “so why are some of its [best] customers seeing expensive engine repair bills?” there are several statements and inaccuracies that need to be addressed.

In checking with Rob Parsons, the County’s environmental coordinator who attended the meetings with the county employees, he recalled that the group was given the information regarding the appropriate use of biodiesel, contrary to what was stated in the article. Perhaps the most erroneous statement in the article, that biodiesel is “a mixture of regular petroleum-based fuel and some sort of Fatty Acid Methyl Ester,” makes it clear that writer did not do his homework.

Biodiesel is actually an ester of vegetable oil which can be blended with petroleum fuel, usually done so to reduce cost in areas where petro diesel is still cheaper than biodiesel.

The article referred to BQ9000 (which Pacific Biodiesel has not bought into) as an “industry standard.”

BQ9000 was created by a private entity, not a government agency, and it is not up to par with the quality control protocol currently employed by Pacific Biodiesel. We test our fuel far more often than is required under BQ9000, and our fuel does meet the only official standard, U.S. ASTM D6751. Our current ASTM test can be found on our website, www.biodiesel.com.

Regarding the references to certain dealerships blaming their problems on biodiesel, we have biodiesel customers on record who were told their fuel pumps needed replacing due to their biodiesel use, when it was later proven that there was nothing wrong with their pumps.

With over 400 customers on Maui alone, one might expect a few complaints. However, when for every complaint there are up to 100 customers with no problems (same vehicle type and same batch of fuel), one might deduct that the problem was with the vehicle and not the fuel. Problems occasionally occur with all vehicles, regardless of their fuel type. With the large influx [of] new customers that happened during the spike in petroleum prices last fall, we were bound to also see more vehicle problems. If they were gas vehicles, it is doubtful any of the problems would have been blamed on the fuel.

If one is only looking for trouble, one can paint a picture of a beautiful sunrise as a cloudy day. There’s a lot more sunshine in this story than the cloudy article chose to show. Biodiesel

is an environmentally friendly fuel that has been well researched internationally.

Pacific Biodiesel has taken a problem (dumping tons of used cooking oil in the landfill) and turned it into a solution (a renewable fuel which burns cleaner and does not contribute to global warming).

This should not become an “Us vs.

Them” situation. Biodiesel is a legitimate alternative fuel that has gained acceptance throughout the country as a benefit to our environment, our economy and our national security. And, as with most things unfamiliar, we need to learn how to employ this product appropriately and move forward with its use for the betterment of our community and our planet.

-Kelly T. King, Director of Marketing/Communications and Harlan Hughes, Fuel Sales Manager, Pacific Biodiesel Anthony Pignataro responds: Your information concerning warnings ignored by county employees regarding the use of biodiesel fascinates me. Had you mentioned it to me during the course of our hour-long interview I would have gladly mentioned it in my story. In any case, the county official I spoke with denied hearing any warnings of the problems they encountered. Concerning my definition of biodiesel, you are of course completely correct that pure biodiesel does not contain petroleum. I have no idea why I wrote otherwise, and regret the error.

But as far as the BQ9000 protocol is concerned, if you’d read my story carefully you would have seen that I described it as “not quite an industry standard.”

TOW WHAT? Just wanted to say mahalo for your recent article on the upcountry man who got rid of three broken down cars by putting an ad in the Maui Bulletin (Free—You Tow). I followed his advice and just within a few hours of the new Bulletin hitting the street I watched as a new owner drove away in my beat up, leaky old Ford, saving me $300 in county disposal costs. Thanks again.

-Bill Geoghegan, Wailuku The Editor responds: No problem, Bill.

Glad to be of service. It’s why we’re here.

Well, that and Eh, Brah! By the way, the writer and subject of the story that saved you so much money—Kelly Chambers—is a woman. Most, but not all Kelly’s are chicks, I know, but this one is.

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary.

If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond.

Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-2440446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

Cunning Lingle What Governor Linda Lingle said in a May 1, 2006 press release on Healthy America Week: “We encourage Hawai’i residents to get out, be active, and stay healthy, not just for this week, but throughout their lifetime.”

Internet surfer’s paradise

What she didn’t say: This campaign, Lingle will appear tough and strong, even at the expense of her own Lieutenant Governor, James R. “Duke” Aiona. An especially humorous example of this is the above press release—sent out by her office—which includes quotes from both Lingle and Aiona. Immediately following Lingle’s quote is a statement touting the governor’s exercise regimen, saying she “has been swimming for more than a decade, and regularly begins her mornings at the YMCA pool, swimming 3,000 yards per day, four times a week.” Okay, we get it— Lingle equals Wonder Woman. Yet after Aiona’s quote, the release all but calls him a wimp, saying that he works out by “taking the stairs to his fifth floor office.”

10 C

a minute

Queen Ka’ahumanu center across from fun factory

-Anthony Pignataro

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This is for the “mom” who was waiting in line at the Lahaina McDonald’s the other day. It wasn’t so bad at first, when your little kids were merely obnoxious. But then one of them spilled their fruit punch all over the floor. Why didn’t you do something about them? You were standing in the punch as you were waiting for your food! Did that not concern you? You didn’t even try to clean it up. In fact, you didn’t even mention the spill to the lady behind the counter.

Instead, you took your food and left without a word. How about next time just staying in your car and using the drive-thru. That way, when your obnoxious kid spills his fruit punch, you’ll have to clean it. Of course I know I’m just joking, and you’ll continue to be the great role model that you are for your kids.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

5

MAUICOUNTY

BY JACK SMITH JACK@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Built

LC Watch On Notice

A day in the life of a Maui construction worker core—he was back at work in less than an hour.

Construction is booming on the Valley

Demo is the real nitty-gritty of construction.

Isle. Contractors are getting rich building,

It’s hot, dirty and dangerous. There are nails,

Shortly thereafter, he ripped open his stitches

tearing down and remodeling condos and

splinters and sharp edges on nearly everything

and began bleeding like a stuck pig. The job site

vacation rentals at light speed. In December

you touch and the air gets thick with dust and

started to look more like a murder scene, so we

I was offered a job remodeling condos. Hard

grime. In less than one week our four-man crew

sent him home. That’s when T told me about how

up for some cash, I took the job and found

ripped out the entire interior of an 800 square-

C shot him in the thumb with a nail gun once. It

out what it’s really like being a Maui con-

foot condo and loaded it in the back of a quarter-

was unintentional of course, but it must have hurt

struction worker.

ton pickup, then into the Kahului landfill.

like hell.

Did I mention I’ve never worked in con-

At first I was extremely tentative. Asked to

Tales of nail gun mishaps circulated around

struction before? Didn’t seem to be a prob-

take apart a bathroom, I started prying apart the

the job. G, a friend of P asked, “What’s this?” as

lem. In fact, “Can you swing a hammer?”

sink and cabinets, apparently a little too gently

he stood up leaving one palm flat on the floor.

seemed to be the only interview question

for T’s liking.

“It’s P nailing himself to the floor,” he explained.

when I started. I lied of course and told

“It’s a lot easier if you get the sink out of the

P elaborated, saying he indeed had fired a two-

them I could. But my new boss C and his

way first,” he said, grinning wide and wielding a

inch nail into his own hand, doing extensive dam-

partner T said experience wasn’t necessary

giant sledgehammer. With a couple wild swings

age, but luckily missing most of the important

and one of the best benefits would be learn-

he smashed the porcelain into a million pieces,

bones. Later, a plumber who came to help out in

ing all kinds of new stuff. The first thing I

then turned and walked away laughing, a swath

the bathrooms told a story about how he success-

learned was how little I really knew.

of destruction in his wake.

fully nailed together all four of his fingers on one hand with one lucky shot.

My first gig as new guy on the crew was a

He was right. It was easier. But I cut myself pret-

remodel in Kihei. The plan was to gut a

ty good picking up all the jagged pieces of porcelain.

Dangers like that aside, there’s something very

$500,000 condo, then turn it into a $1 mil-

By now I was learning that construction is hard

rewarding about working with your hands, build-

lion condo—new cabinets, granite counter-

work. But my tender hands, used to daintily typing

ing walls and installing all the fancy trimmings.

tops, hardwood floors, the whole nine.

on a laptop, soon grew calloused and strong.

There is a definite sense of pride and accomplishment when you stand back and look over the fin-

Demolition was the first step in the

Injuries are a reality in construction. While

remodeling process, and it was also the most

cutting a piece of sheetrock with a blade, C acci-

fun. There’s something both liberating and

dentally jabbed himself in the fleshy part of his

There’s also a lot of fun in a little thing I dis-

endlessly entertaining about taking a sledge-

left hand below the thumb. Blood spewed out and

covered called elastomeric silicone adhesive,

hammer to the interior of someone’s home.

he ended up getting four stitches. But C’s hard-

known in the industry as caulk. Pronounced

ished product and say, “I did that.”

“cock,” this handy stuff patches holes, fills in seams and seals tile. A student and practitioner of the English language, I was delighted by the seemingly infinite innuendos and double entendres that came along with this product.

One day I thought it would be funny to walk into the hardware store and have some fun.

“Where do you keep your caulk?” I asked loudly and indignantly when I walked in.

“In my pants, where do you think?” the cashier instantly responded.

How unprofessional. MTW

I was nearly slumbering through the round of minor decoy sting operation cases that made up most of the May 4, 2006 LC Board of Adjudication hearing when I got jolted awake by a remark even more patronizing than usual. It was during the second case, in which tiny Morihara Store in Kula was pleading no contest to a single count of selling booze—well, a six-pack of 12-ounce bottles of Smirnoff Twisted V Raspberry Malt Liquor—to an undercover LC operative.

“The department sends out a notice saying there’s going to be a sting,” board member M. D. Alborano told storeowner Hans Kanuha. “I suggest you read that.”

The Department of Liquor Control sends out warning notices that it’s conducting sting operations? Man, I thought, liquor licensees must be stupid if they get warning letters from the department and still get nailed.

But the other licensee managers and staffers waiting for their own cases to come up didn’t seem to know what Alborano was talking about.

“Did you ever see one of those,” a woman sitting next to me from another licensee asked her colleague.

“No, never,” she said.

On break, managers from still another establishment asked each other if they’d ever seen one of the notices.

Each shook his head.

Later, I asked LC Deputy Director Wayne Pagan about the “notices.” He said the only notices the department sends out are the regular newsletters, which come out “three or four times a year.” They’re pretty bland, really, explaining that, “the Department will increase random stakeouts and will again use minor decoys to insure licensees are in compliance with the liquor laws.”

“The licensees should know that by now anyway,” Pagan said. He then added that the LC never publicizes the dates, times or locations of its sting operations.

Alborano has lectured licensees before on these “notices,” insinuating that the department goes out of its way to warn bars and restaurants of impending sting operations. It would be nice if someone clued her in before the next hearing.

-Anthony Pignataro

6

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

RANK

PREVIOUS

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 3 4 5 6 7 2 8 9 10

COMPANY Monsanto Hawai’i Alexander & Baldwin Maui Land & Pineapple Co. Maui Electric Co. Hawaiian Telcom Harry & Jeanette Weinberg Foundation Dowling Co. Trex Enterprises Wailuku Water Co. Makena Resort

This week calls for just a slight reordering, given the latest Political Action Committee and individual donor campaign contribution records published by The Center for Responsive Politics. It’s still early but Monsanto gets to stay in the top slot, given its PAC has so far taken in $125,185 this campaign. For a PAC, money in the bank isn’t much use, and Monsanto has already spent $103,769 of that wad—81 percent of which went to Republicans. A&B and Maui Land are already placed pretty good, given their PAC’s respective $36,137 and $21,200 receipts. Poor Dowling Co., though, drops many notches. Not only does Dowling lack a PAC, but owner/developer Everett Dowling has so far only handed out $2,000, and it all went to U.S. Senator Daniel Akaka’s reelection campaign. Hurry up Everett! You’ve only got six months to go! MTW

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www.futonlifestylesMAUI.com

The Maui 10

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MAUICOUNTY

5

MAY 11, 2006

7

MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, May 3

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

price of oil is skyrocketing. What do we all do then, you know, besides seethe?

So a bunch of state officials have their panties in a twist because the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights (USCCR) has put together a draft report saying that the Akaka-Stevens Native Hawaiian Recognition Act is racist.

According to today’s Honolulu Advertiser, which obtained a copy of the report, the bill is bad because it would “discriminate on the basis of race or national origin, and further subdivide the American people into discrete subgroups accorded varying degrees of privilege.” One of those pissed off, U.S. Senator Daniel Inouye, told the paper that the commission report “is based on a complete lack of understanding of federal policies.” This is completely wrong—clearly, the report springs from the Bush Administration’s near-total emasculation of the USCCR. In the old days—before George W. Bush took office, I mean—the commission was a fire-breathing group that believed government could fight discrimination. In 2001, it even exposed “voting irregularities” throughout Florida’s 2000 election. Not long after, President Bush began packing the commission with partisan Republican hacks who seem to feel their mission in life is to squelch civil rights. For instance, of the seven current members, five would love to see affirmative action completely dismantled.

In fact, commission chairman Gerald Reynolds has called affirmative action “the big lie.” Fellow commissioner Peter Kirsanow has written that affirmative action “is racist, demeaning and repugnant to the most fundamental tenets of democracy.” You think guys like that are going to give a Native Hawaiian Recognition bill a fair shake?

There’s a great scene early in All the President’s Men that shows the various Washington Post managing, city and deputy editors—all white-shirted, white-skinned men—sitting around a table arguing about what to include on the all-important Page One. I kept thinking about that scene as I glanced through today’s Maui News, wondering how on earth they made the same choices—mostly because the most important story in the paper, in the top right corner—“above the fold,” us newspaper types call it—is an Associated Press piece on the end of the current legislative session. Fair enough, but my eyebrows kept arching as I checked out the other headlines. “Rising From The Ashes,” which included two full-color photos, told the story of the reopening of the Pukalani Golf Course. “Phillips lauds 3 strikes law” was basically a love note from Maui Police Chief Tom Phillips to the state’s new mandatory sentencing law. The bottom story was another AP pick-up, this time on the al-Qaida blooper reel U.S. forces recently released in Iraq. All in all, a rather typical Maui News Page One. But on the third page, a story carrying no byline but a Honolulu dateline told of how Kauaula Valley resident Ke’eaumoku Kapu won a surprising victory in the state’s Intermediate Court of Appeals on his fight against Makila Land Company’s plans to develop the land he believes still belongs to him. He hasn’t won clear title to the land, but the victory certainly denies such title to Makila. The verdict’s impact and potential repercussions are unknown, which is why it’s such a great story—certainly one that should have run on the front page, and earlier than today, considering that the verdict came out on Apr. 28.

THURSDAY, May 4

SATURDAY, May 6

No more gas cap. Legislature dumped it today. Let the good times roll!

Once again, market forces prevail in the State of Hawai’i! Hey, quick question: what happens if gas prices still go higher even without the cap? I mean, the

Can it be? Could the state Legislature finally be laying down the law to Superferry, Inc.?

But why now, as opposed to, oh, a year ago?

Remember back then, when we were all arguing about whether to force a detailed environmental review of the company that wants to

FRIDAY, May 5

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MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

MONDAY, May 8 Great story in today’s Honolulu StarBulletin about how big corporate and labor political action committees (PACs) are getting hot under the collar over the state’s Act 203. The effects of the draconian act haven’t really appeared yet since it only became law on Jan. 1 of this year, but its $1,000 contribution limit per election—not candidate—for PACs will definitely dry up the big money come November. Given the way U.S. Supreme Court decisions in the last couple of decades have equated money with speech, gutting recent attempts at campaign finance reform, I don’t see how this law could possibly pass Constitutional muster, but hey—let’s enjoy it while it’s on the books.

TUESDAY, May 9

run high-speed ferries between the islands and needs the state to hand over $40 million in Kahului Harbor improvements? That’s all done, of course, but now today’s Maui News is reporting that state officials are saying Superferry needs to start holding real, actual public hearings—proper meetings with proper agendas and public notices, rather than $30-aplate luncheons that the company currently favors—or it won’t get $20 million from them.

Company officials told the News that they’d be happy to comply, but what else could they say?

SUNDAY, May 7 What’s that ringing?

Pledging to talk about his Native Hawaiian Recognition Bill every single day on the floor of the Senate until he gets a floor debate, U.S. Senator Daniel Akaka has finally done something shrewd. He is, after all, in the middle of a campaign, and there are few better ways to show the voters back home that he’s tough and dogged. Though considering the following statement Akaka made in today’s Honolulu Advertiser, it’s a wonder he wants to return to the Senate at all: “When I first started my career in Congress, over 30 years ago, there was a protocol and a courtesy,” Akaka told the Advertiser. “If legislation was going to impact a particular state, and the leaders of that state all supported the issue, it was protocol that other members would not interfere or obstruct efforts to legislate on behalf of that state.

Unfortunately, this longstanding protocol and courtesy no longer exists.”

Anthony Pignataro has somehow made it this far in life without having to work serving food to people. MTW

OVERHEARD...

“Oh, Catholics kneel like crazy.”

-Guy talking to his wife at the Makawao Union Church, May 6

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD LIVING WAGE In April issues of The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, the chief executives of two huge companies in politically sensitive industries were revealed to have received such extravagant bonuses or stock options that even veteran industry observers were said to be shocked. While customers of both companies are chronically panicked about rising prices, Lee Raymond, who retired as CEO of ExxonMobil in December, was reported by the Times to have received the equivalent of $144,000 every day for 13 years, and William McGuire, CEO since 1996 of the highly profitable health-insurance manager United Healthcare, was reported by the Journal to be sitting on stock options that, because they were mysteriously timed to kick in at the best possible date, are worth $1.6 billion.

CHUTZPAH! Convicted drunk driver Joshua Campbell, 23, filed a lawsuit in April against the driver he hit, Bloomfield Township, Mich., police officer Gary Davis, asking the police department to pay him for the “humiliation,” “embarrassment” and physical injuries he received. Campbell claims that Davis unsafely turned around on Interstate 75 after a traffic stop and that the turnaround was the cause of the collision.

Bloomfield police say that Campbell, in addition to having a 0.17 blood alcohol reading, was going 90 mph and that three patrol cars on the scene with flashing lights should have been a signal to Campbell to slow down.

AWESOME! Unexpected childbirths happen from time to time, but the genuinely surprised mother in Ojo Caliente, N.M., in February was Kayla Alire, 18,

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

who just two hours earlier had hit two three-pointers as a starting guard for the town’s high school girls’ basketball team.

TOUGH GUYS Prosecutors in Chicago are proceeding with the case against Howard Morgan for allegedly shooting at a police officer. Morgan denies it, but what was clear was that in returning fire, police shots hit Morgan 25 times (from which he is recovering satisfactorily, according to a January WMAQ-TV story). Then there was the endurance of a 35-year-old man in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., who, according to a February Poughkeepsie Journal report, had just been a gunshot victim for the fourth time in the same housing complex. The first and fourth incidents involved multiple wounds.

BRIGHT IDEA Shellie White, 30, was apprehended in Roanoke Rapids, N.C., in March, two years after she fled Arizona with her two children in a custody dispute with her ex-husband. For most of the two years, she has been living as a man (with a female partner), having convinced the kids, now aged 6 and 8, that she is actually their father.

MEN’S PACKAGES IN THE NEWS In Savannah, Ga., in March, police picked up Carlos Little, wandering around a housing complex with a head injury, which he said was from a street robbery, but they later learned from a witness that Little and another man had fought over who was the better-”endowed” (and that, in the showdown, Little proved littler). And in Mexico, according to an April Reuters dispatch, one distinct presidential campaign theme this year is how candidates explicitly tout their manliness; one radio ad, for example, praises Felipe Calderon’s “balls,” while a TV ad acclaims Roberto Medrazo for having “big ones.” MTW

... for two weeks watch the birth of a canoe, surfboard, tiki and more from log to launch.

Parade of Canoes • May 26 • 6 pm Sunset Launch Ceremony & Ho‘olaule‘a • May 27

www.MauiCanoeFest.com Event Hotline: 667-9194

Sponsored by:

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Mahalo to Aloha Airlines and and Air New Zealand for their support.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

9

situation while he watched his savings wither away with each new selfish adventure. t was about 9:30 in the morning when I walked into the women’s public restroom at When our last paychecks finally arrived, Jesse and I rented a car and asked Kenneth—but the police substation in Wailuku. Like every other weekday morning, I went straight not his acquaintance—to join us. He agreed. Four hours later, Kenneth and I had jobs. into the stall. I wanted to be as quick as possible—the longer I was in there, the more But our money was gone. With no cash to continue the life of living in an hotel, we got probable it was that someone I knew would walk in. accustomed to the uncomfortable routine of sleeping in the car, if a person can actually get After giving myself a hippy shower with an Evian bottle filled with tap water and then accustomed to such a thing. changing my clothes, I started to shave my legs. I rolled up my pants and shaved my calves Sleeping in a car is better than being completely homeless, but not by much. It’s and knees—just cold water and a razor. Shaving cream and soap were luxuries only people cramped, claustrophobic and hot. We woke up continuously with bent backs, cricked necks with homes could afford. and irritable tempers. It wasn’t surprising, considering that three of us— Now came the hard part—washing my hair in the sink. The sink was grimy. It was always and all our personal belongings—were stuffed into a Chevy Cavalier. grimy. Wiping it down with paper towels, I dunked my head in the sink. For soap I used a We managed it for about a week. Then we gave up and purchased a tent, combination shampoo/conditioner/body wash one of my best friends back in three sleeping bags and a fishing pole with my parents’ emergency credit Denver gave me as a going-away present. Without it I would have card, which they graciously gave up to our cause. A coworker gave us a been really dirty and gross. helpful hint that because we had a fishing pole, wherever we went we My head was full of soap and pretty much would be fishing and not camping, and thusly would have less of a chance submerged under the tap when the woman came of being thrown out. My parents also gave us one month’s storage unit out of the bathroom stall. As she stood behind me rent so we were no longer encumbered on our gypsy’s journey with our awkwardly waiting for me to move away from the personal belongings. sink, I noticed her reflection and realized that I The first place we made camp was a strip of sandy beach near the knew her. She was one of my regular customers at harbor where the cruise ships dock. The first night passed without Café Marc Aurel. incident, but the second brought prowlers to our hobbit-like hovel of My heart dropped into my shoes, and I tried to trees, peering into our zippered windows with tainted curiosity. On move as quickly as possible without looking too the third, we were robbed. They didn’t take much, just my CD player pathetic. Was she going to recognize me as the person and our far more valuable fishing pole. who usually got her coffee at the café? Were the rest of It scared us. Our tent was admittedly rather posh (that was my the regulars going to find out that I was homeless? Was fault, since I insisted we get the best one available) and we feared that this going to hurt Marc’s business? thieves would return assuming we owned more than we did. So we She didn’t recognize me. But later that day, when I was went back to the confines of the rental car and started an apartment at work, she walked in. When she saw me, her eyes sparked search since all three of us now had jobs. with recognition and sadness. But she never said anything.

For about three weeks in the fall of 2005, my boyfriend ut we didn’t find an apartment. Most were too expensive—in Jesse, our friend Kenneth and I lived at the Kahului Denver it costs about $900 for the first month and security Breakwater. How we got there is something anyone who deposit combined, compared to about $3,000 here. We had spent moves to Maui should think about. much of the month searching in vain for any place to live.

First arriving at Kahului Airport from Denver, Jesse and I For the first time in our lives we were met with open, racial took a taxi to the Maui Seaside hotel, where our friend hostility. Many of our calls were not returned when it was Kenneth and an acquaintance of his girlfriend were staying. learned that we were newcomers to the island. One man, They were kind enough to welcome us into the two-bed room having thought that Jesse was Japanese because of his and offered up their fridge full of beer. stepfather’s last name appearing on caller ID, refused to Right off the bat, money got scarce. Kenneth’s acquaintance 005 converse with us further when we corrected him.

2 r e b whittled away what money the two of them had by convincing m e t ep Denver, S Then we attempted to apply for low-income housing but a DNA sample would have him to remain at the Seaside long after it was financially sound. been more easily procured than their application’s myriad requirements. I don’t know how We’d all just quit our previous jobs, and none of us were anyone could obtain all the necessary documentation they were asking for. employed yet.

By that time I had been homeless for just a month; previously I had an apartment I lived Jesse and I felt like the children in the group; at the time awaiting our last paychecks, we in for a year and a half, a bank account I’d held for three years and a mainland job I’d held weren’t consulted when any decision was made. We were like tagalongs just there for the for two years. I don’t know how they expected homeless people to carry documentation for ride, watching the seconds tick by. Kenneth was also quickly growing uneasy with the

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RIUM AQUA TOWN DOWN NVER’S OF DE RTESY : COU PHOTO

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MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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all that in a tent. My employer, Marc Aurel, had even given us a letter of recommendation after knowing us just a few days, yet we still were unsuccessful.

In fact, Aurel was at the time our only help on the island.

He hired us knowing our situation. Yet he always had words of encouragement for us, told us to try harder and not give

Maryland, August 20 05 up. He was one of the few who never made us feel like we were beneath him, or anyone else for that matter, just because of our predicament. For him and his genuine communal spirit, I will always be grateful.

But our apartment search did lead us past Breakwater Park. I noticed the caravan of cars and makeshift habitats and suggested we check it out. Without any idea of what might befall us, we pulled into the nearby parking lot and trudged up the hill with baited breath.

We found a lot of people—far more than you’d ever see from the road. Jesse and I moved up the uneven path serenaded by barking, territorial dogs, each step thudding on dirt with ominous uncertainty. The air had a thick, muggy feel, its particles adhering to my skin. I kept thinking of all the horror movies I’d seen that had started out this way.

Jesse and I were discussing our misgivings when Kenneth—who had gone exploring in another direction— called us back. He’d found a couple who sympathized with our plight and were offering their front yard, such as it was, for us to pitch our tent.

They also told Kenneth in no uncertain terms that Jesse and I were quite lucky to escape with our lives from that previous camping location, since the lowest of drug dealers and criminals commonly frequented that particular beach.

That night we slept more peacefully than we had since our long lost nights in hotel rooms, even with shards of the rocky ground digging constantly into our flesh.

Kenneth had a knack for feeling quite at ease with our new neighbors, but Jesse and I had a more difficult time.

We were constantly uncomfortable. We had no idea how to relate or even talk to them. We never knew what to say, or how to go about starting up friendly banter. We went to work, spent all of our waking hours as far from the park as possible and only returned at night to sleep.

We awoke each morning to the promising whisper of the sea and enjoyed the pleasure of watching our host couple fish and live off the land. Sometimes we would return to friendly notes stuck to bags of canned goods, juice and fruit cups—whatever they could spare. Never did they force us out of our comfort zone; they accepted us as we came.

They also never asked for anything in return, though I did share my cigarettes freely and brought back extra food from Burger King when we had enough cash for a treat. They shared what little they owned with kind hearts, while so many others we came across blessed with abundance selfishly hoarded to excess.

O

n Thanksgiving Eve it was pretty rainy and I had a cold, so my parents gave the three of us the gift of a hotel room. There we feasted on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cold cut platters and cable television. We all took real showers and slept in real beds with real pillows—the little things

005 ecember 2 D e t la i, u Ma

that had been ours during easier times but were now quite rare. It was more than we could dream of.

During the holiday season we had no place to go aside from work and our nylon nest, so we became mall rats. We watched people bustling about searching for the perfect gifts, children sitting on Santa’s lap and people just going about their lives so easily and somewhat shamefully taken for granted. I didn’t begrudge these people their comfortable lives, but it was a sobering sight when I didn’t even know if we’d have a roof over our heads by Christmas morning.

As it turned out, we did get a roof for Christmas morning.

It was an ‘ohana in a Filipino neighborhood in Kahului. The owners were extremely kind, but the children ran around like it was City of God. It was a two-bedroom house, and once we moved in, Kenneth’s girlfriend joined us from the mainland.

We were even blessed with a tiny tree and a few thoughtful, precious presents sent to us from family.

Admittedly, we’d still be just breakwater homeless if my parents had not come to the rescue yet again, lending us $3,000 for the one place willing to rent to us.

At the time of their much-needed assistance, they’d met Jesse only once and had never before lain eyes upon Kenneth. But they gave everything they could spare to give us a real chance of starting a life on Maui.

So many of Hawai’i’s homeless don’t have families to rely upon, people they can turn to in times of need. They have only their own, for as though they warrant much discussion, they do not warrant much active involvement aside from wayward, pitying glances or disgruntled grimaces tossed here and there.

They’re left to struggle within the limitations of their reality unless offered a helping hand. But what hand might reach out to them, lift them up, dust them off and give them a fighting chance? The community in which they live, that’s who.

Every night I slept in Breakwater Park I lay down on sharp rock shards. Every morning I awoke in Breakwater Park I trudged up the hill from Kahului to Wailuku to prepare for work in a public restroom. It was the most humiliating and eye-opening experience of my life.

If Hawai’i wishes to eliminate its problem of homelessness, the solution lies within understanding the nature and diversity of those people who make up the homeless population. Don’t pity, sympathize or turn a blind eye.

Instead, try studying, scrutinizing and recognizing them for what they are. Their ranks are just as diverse as any other class of people or tier of society. MTW

By Carrie Courtney

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

11

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MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Bernard’s personal assistant, David Paet

Bentos & Banquets A week with Bernard, my personal chef I usually make my own lunch and bring it to work. But lately I seem to have acquired a personal lunch chef.

His name is Bernard, of Bentos & Banquets in Wailuku. I always wanted a personal cook and he is definitely working within my tight budget. With his assistance I can eat like a queen for just 10 bucks. A week with Bernard is like food nirvana; I never want to cook my own lunch again.

Bentos & Banquets 85 N. Church St., Wailuku, 244-1124. $

Must be nice to be on vacation. I order the Cobb salad with chicken breast, bacon and avocado—once again for $7.50—and return to the office.

WEDNESDAY Bernard fixes me baked pork chops with mushroom gravy, but I’m not in the mood. His Asian garden salad with mochiko nori chicken sounds too light.

“Can you make me a turkey burger instead?” I ask. No problem, he says. I even get those crispy crinkle fries on the side, with fresh lettuce and juicy tomato. This is the way to make it through hump day.

THURSDAY

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The shift from weekend time-off to time-on shock rocks my system. It’s time for a big plate lunch. Bernard has prepared a delicious spread of chicken hekka with aburage, shrimp tempura, rice and potato mac salad. It’s only $7.50. I wash it down with their Akua, pure cane sugar root beer, for the sugar rush I need to finish the day.

It’s noon and it’s suddenly crowded in here. All five tables are full of hungry people. The Wailuku professional in front of me says she’s not that hungry and orders a bobo. Bobo? That’s Bernard’s code for mini plate. Her coworker says he’s starving and goes for the full-size plate of Kalua Pig, butterfish and Ham Hock Lau Lau special, while I order the chef salad.

TUESDAY

FRIDAY

A cute European tourist from a nearby hostel stands in front of me in line. “What makes the Thai fried chicken Thai?” she asks the server. The server shrugs but offers her a taste.

The tourist shakes her head. “Too peppery. How about the shrimp tofu?” It must be just right, because she takes a plate and heads off into Iao Valley.

Bernard is feeling festive. He offers a Cinco de Mayo special of chicken enchilada and chili relleno, served with Spanish rice and refried beans. I certainly can’t resist this celebration of Mexico and convince my office mate Kim to try it, too.

Viva la enchilada! More importantly, thank God it’s Friday so I can pick up next week’s menu. MTW

MONDAY

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

CENTRAL MAUI

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Dunes Restaurant - Contemporary local cuisine. M-F, 6:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sa-Su, 6:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877-7461. $$

Maui Coffee Roasters - Coffeehouse, deli. M-F 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m.

444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-2877. $

El Corita - Mexican food. M-Sa 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-3 p.m. 790 Eha, Wailuku, 244-5993. $ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. M-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $

Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the people who call Hawai’i home. M-Th, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; F-Sa, 9 a.m.9:30 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $

Aloha Grill - Burgers with veggie styles. M-F, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.6 p.m. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893-0263. $

Fran’s Island Grill - Local grinds. Su-Th, 6 a.m.-8 p.m.; F-Sa, 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 740 Lower Main, Wailuku, 242-8580. $

Maui Tacos - Mexican-Island fast food. M-Sa, 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului, 871-7726. $

Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - European, American. M-F, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; W-Sa, 5-9 p.m. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$

Mercado - Latin market. Open M-F, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. 325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $

Archie’s - Japenese. Daily 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; M-F, 5-8 p.m.; F-Sa 5-9 p.m. 1440, Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-9401. $

Gianotto’s Pizzeria - Pizza, pasta, sandwiches. Free delivery! M-Sa, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-8282. $

Asia Star - Vietnamese. M-Sa 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Su 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 1764 Wili Pa Loop, Wailuku, 244-1833. $

Hanafuda Saimin - Local kine grinds. M-Sa, 9 a.m.-11 p.m. 199 S Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-9033. $

Alive & Well - Healthy food, juices and plate lunches. M-F, 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sa 9 a.m.6 p.m.; Su 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 340 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4950. $

Asian Cuisine & Sports Bar - It’s in the title.

Daily 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 65 Kaahumanu Ave #23, Kahului, 877-7776. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho and more. M-Sa, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8772400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual Thai food. Daily 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Nightly 5-9:30 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Authentic Korean food. 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Brooklyn Café - Plate lunches and snacks.

Open M-F, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Corner of Market and Main, Wailuku, 244-5950. $ Café Marc Aurel - Coffeehouse, wine bar. MSa, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. or later, 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out.

Daily, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 134 W. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Local fast food. M-F, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Da Sushi Bar - Full menu and a variety of sushi. M-F, 11 a.m.- 2 p.m.; Su-Th, 5-9 p.m.; F-Sa, 5-11 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8774849. $$ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 8735550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Open daily 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and 5-9 p.m.

Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - Homemade meals frozen and ready to pick up. They even deliver. M-F, 10 a.m.5:30 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2p.m.150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-1414. $$

Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Japanese and local cuisine. Su-F 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily, 5-9 p.m. Kahului Shopping Center, 871-6977. $$

Mike’s Restaurant - Chinese, local. Daily, 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $

Rosie’s - Local. 8 a.m.-close. 1322 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-1471. $ Ruby’s - American ‘50s cafe. M-Th 7 a.m.-9 p.m., F-Su 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. M-F 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily 5-9:30 p.m. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$

Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from “Kitchen Sink” burritos to quesadillas. M-Sa, 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-8707. $

Saigon Cafe - Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. M-Sa 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Su 10 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$

Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $

Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites. M-Th 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; F-Sa 5:30 a.m.-11 p.m. 97 Wakea Ave., Kahului, 877-0121. $

Ichiban Okazuya Hawaii - Local. M-F, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.& 4-7 p.m. 2133 Kaohu, Wailuku, 244-7276. $ IHOP - American. Su-Th, 6 a.m.-12 a.m.; F-Sa, 6 a.m.-2 a.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Kahili - Lunch with a view, served daily from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Or enjoy pupus 3-5 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with games. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. $ Koho Grill & Bar - American. Daily, 7 a.m.-10 p.m.

Bar stays open serving drinks, pupus & burgers only from 10-11 p.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take-out. M-Sa, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

52 N. Market Pl., Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - Warm, tasty doughnuts. Su-Th, 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; F-Sa, 5:30 a.m.-12 a.m. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ L&L Drive In - Local. F-Sa 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Su-Th 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Wailuku Town Center, 242-1380.

Mama Ding’s Pasteles - Specialty breads and pastries. Open 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 255 Alamaha, Kahului, 8775796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin-American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Cool, quaint bar. Su-Th, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; F-Sa 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ Marco’s Grill & Deli - Italian. Daily, 8 a.m.-10 p.m.

444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4446. $$

Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian

Matsu Restaurant - Japanese. Daily, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. 161 Alamaha St., Kahului. 871-0822.

Maui Bake Shop - French bakery and deli. Su-F, 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sa, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 2092 Vineyard, Wailuku, 242-0064. $

Sweet Life Fruit Co. u

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AK’s Cafe - Local food, pasta, steaks and fresh fish. M-F, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. & 4:45-8:30 p.m.; Sa-Su closed.1237 L. Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774.$

Rainbow Dining Room - Located in the Maui Beach Hotel. Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Daily, 5:308:30 p.m. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 8770051. $$

Gift Baskets•Fruit Baskets•Flowers Delivered in the Islands • Shipping Worldwide

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MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaza, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155 www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com

VISIT US AT www.SweetLifeFruitCo.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

13

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Simply Healthy Cafe - Healthy Hawaiian food. Open M-F 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 95 Mahalani St.,Cameron Center, Wailuku. 249-8955. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Bakery, deli. M-Th, 7 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; F, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m; Sa, 7 a.m.- 4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 8930700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Chinese. 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 E. Ka’aumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 8710828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - American.

8 a.m.-3 p.m., 4 p.m.-9 p.m. 197 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Desserts, breads, sandwiches, salads and soups.

Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. M-Sa. 1740 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Conveyor-belt sushi! M-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Sandwiches, salads. Open M-F, 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-9 a.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd, Kahului, 8778779.

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, corned beef, sashimi, salads. 5:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m.

359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local-style cuisine since 1944. Su, Tu-Th 6 a.m.-11 p.m., F-Sa 6 a.m.10 p.m., M 6 a.m.-3 p.m. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Thailand Cuisine - Authentic Thai food; soup, salad, noodles and vegetarian specials. Daily 10:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Su-Th5-9:30 p.m. F-Sa 510 p.m. 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului, 8730225. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees. Featuring DJ and Karaoke.

Open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit-down dining.

10 a.m.-10 p.m. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-8:30 p.m. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, bagels, coffees and more. 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

Caffe Ciao - Italian infused island food. 12-3 p.m., 5:30-10 p.m. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 8754100. $$

Isana Restaurant - Traditional Korean cuisine.

Daily, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 515 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 8741811. $$

SOUTH MAUI

Canton Chef - Chinese, Cantonese, Szechuan.

Daily 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Nightly 5-9 p.m. 2463 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-1988. $

Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $

Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Take-out seafood, chicken, ribs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Amigo’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere. 5 p.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list. Open M-Sa, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Burgers, local plates and sandwiches. M-Sa 7 a.m.-8 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ Azeka’s Ribs & Snack Shop - Daily specials, sandwiches, burgers, sushi, musubi & even “minimeals”. Daily 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m., marinated meat products available until 5 p.m. Azeka Makai Shopping Center, Kihei, 879-0611. $ BadaBing! - Pasta, pizza, regional specials and full bar. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188. $$

Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. 5:30-10 p.m. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224. $$$

Kihei Caffe - Breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches. 5 a.m.-2 p.m.

1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $

L&L Drive In - Local. 4:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Piilani Village Center, Kihei. 875-8898. $

Enrique’s - Deli, wraps, salads, dips, beer, wine and more. M-Sa 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Su 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 2395 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 875-2910. $

Life’s A Beach - Nachos, burritos, prime rib, grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8010. $

Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees. M-F 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Sa-Su 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883. $$$

Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, salads, hot dogs, potato salad and saimin. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 145 N. Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Enrique’s Cocina Mexicana - Mexican food with vegetarian items and daily specials. Open M-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-2910. $

Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho and more. M-Sa 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Su 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Piilani Village Center, Kihei, 875-6400. $ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon, sandwiches, salads, smoothies and coffee drinks. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, 875-7668. $

Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar. 11:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., 5:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$

Big Wave Cafe - Breakfast, burgers, sandwiches, salads, wraps, ahi, pasta, pretty much everything.

Daily 7:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 8918688. $

Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. 11 a.m.8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 244-5862. $ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m.

2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2607. $$ Fred’s - Mexican Cafe. Daily 7 a.m.-11 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 891-8600. $

Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Mediterranean cuisine.

Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$

Greek Bistro - It’s Greek, of course! Apps, salads, entrees and daily specials. 2511 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-9330. $$

Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi.

11 a.m-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$

Hanafuda Saimin - Local kine grinds. M-Sa, 7 a.m.-11 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. 1279 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-9033. $

Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$

Keoki’s Fish ‘N Chips - Open for breakfast at 7 a.m. Kukui Mall, 891-1400. $

Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffees, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. M-Sa 7 a.m.9 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799. $

Enrique’s Deli & Liquor - Sandwiches, wraps, salads, wine, beer and specialty tequilas. M-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-9582. $

Bistro Molokini - California, Island cuisine.

Poolside. 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea, 8751234. $$

Joy’s Place - Organic foods that are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open M-Sa, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $

Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods - It’s a natural food store with a fantastic salad bar and healthy pre-made options. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 875-4356. $

Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with seafood. M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sa 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $

Café Café - Coffee and specialty drinks, sandwiches.

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner menus coming soon…

Daily 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 8794700. $

Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads and “food for gringos.” M-Sa 5 p.m.-2 a.m. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $

Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House Affordable Chinese cuisine. 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $

Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. 6-11 a.m. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874-1111. $$

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. 5-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$

LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more. Pool tables, cute bartenders & a porch-esque dining room. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. (Food service ends @ 10 p.m.).1941 S. Kihei Rd., 8799944. $ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and continental cuisine. Open daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - Beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 8744041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, coffee, fruit smoothies and shakes.

6:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in juices and island spices. 9 a.m.-9 p.m.

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in juices and island spices. 9 a.m.-9 p.m.

Piilani Village Center, Kihei. $ Maui’s Sweet Spot - Low carb non-fat yogurt, parfait, fried ice cream, shave ice and smoothies. 1819 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-8611. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer. 8 a.m.-2 a.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. $$ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish.

5:30-9:30 p.m. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 8797224. $$$ Orange Julius/Dairy Queen - Yummy frosty treats, hot dogs and more. Piilani Village Center, Kihei. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m.

281 Pi’ikea Ave, Kihei, 879-8400. $$

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG NIGHTLY SPECIALS

MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $21.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $21.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $18.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6

$3.00 TROPICALS / WELLS $3.25 BUD-BUD LIGHT-COORS LIGHT $1.00 FRESH OYSTER SHOOTERS DOLLAR DOUBLE ALL DAY

14

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

We’ve always been Maui’s one stop for great coffee but did you know we have: •Free Wireless • Breakfast and real lunch served M-F 8am-6pm Sat 8-5 / Sun 8-2:30 • Happy Hour:3pm-close • Kitchen Hours:7am-4:00pm • We ship worldwide 1-800-645-CUPS

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

Pita Paradise - Good food served fast.

Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps. M-Sa 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875-7679. $ Pizza Express - Pizza, salad, wings. Daily, 10:30 a.m.-11 p.m. 1819 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 891-2002. $ The Place - Eclectic. 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m., 5 p.m.9:30 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 2432206. $$ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. M-Sa 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Nightly 4:30-9:30 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees.

5:30-10 p.m. Pi’ilani Shopping Center, 303 Pi’ikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. 5:15-9:30 p.m. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7555. $$$ Scuba Dogs - Smooties, ice cream, salads, subs and (of course!) hot dogs. Daily 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 1455 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 8794994. $ Seawatch - Hawai’i regional cuisine. 8 a.m10 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Open for lunch W-F 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8366. $ Shaka - Sandwiches and pizza. Shaka it to me baby, yeah! Daily 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m.

1770 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 874-0331. $ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by world-famous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck.

5:30-9:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Pacific rim with flair. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including half-pound burgers and deli sandwiches. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0602. $ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ Subway - Eat fresh like Jared. Kukui Mall and Piilani Village Center, Kihei, 891-2341.

Sunset Mixed Grill - Japanese, Chinese and Korean dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m.

BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

Mama’s Fish House - Fresh fish at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 5798488. $$$

China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui. M-Sa 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Nightly 5-10 p.m.

4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, 669-5089. $

Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab and New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$

Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic Mexican cuisine. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $

Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $

Wailea Pizza Co. - Ummm. Pizza. Daily 11 a.m.11 p.m. Wailea Town Center, Wailea, 874-1234. $$

Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579-8755. $

CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods. Open daily. 2580 Keka’a Dr., Fairway Shops, Ka’anapali, 667-0968. $

Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific cuisine with a blend of cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 p.m. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 8748385. $$ K

Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999. $

Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Pa`ia Fish Market - The hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8030. $

Cold Stone Creamery - Make up your own ice cream flavor and watch them create. Daily 10 a.m.-10 p.m. 900 Front St Bld. B5, Lahaina, 667-2744. $

Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low-fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $

Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food. Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $

Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina. 1202 Makawao Ave., 5727808. $

Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $

Vasi Gourmet - Cakes and pastries. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. M-Sa. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku Marketplace, 575-9588. $

Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style dinner. Food served 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema, Lahaina, 6670908. $ K

Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

Curry-In-A-Hurry - Vegetarian curry dishes. Open Tu-Sa, 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-4370. $

WEST MAUI

David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room. Nightly from 6 p.m.

127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667-5117. $$$ K

Aloha Mixed Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $

Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $

Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, falafel and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $

Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesia. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - Espresso bar, sandwiches and ice cream. 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 90 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha ’Aina - Large variety of omelets, island fish, chicken katsu. Tu-Sa, 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$ Café 808 - Local diner-style. Open daily 6 a.m.-8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish. 8 a.m.5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-4877. $ Café Des Amis - Delicious crepes and Mediterranean fare. 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 8 a.m.-9 p.m.

BYOB. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572-0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hearty and healthy grub from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940s-style urban bistro. Daily 6 a.m.9:30 p.m. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine.

Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $

The Bakery - Freshly baked breads and pastries.

Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and sushi.

11 a.m.-11 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Banyan Tree - Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$

Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 5722666. $$$

Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. 2780 Keka’a Dr., Ka’anapali, 662-3210. $$

Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking and live music. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 5752661. $

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly.

Daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $

Island Tacos - Fresh fish, beef and chicken tacos.

Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $

Blu - Aka Cafe O Lei. Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. $$

Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere with a sushi bar. 120 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8844. $$

Blue Lagoon - Island cuisine, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Daily 8 a.m.- 9 p.m.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ K

Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual, simple, affordable menu. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $

Breakwall Cafe - Coffeehouse with snacks. Open daily 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 6617220. $

Kitada’s - Saimin, teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $

Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory and sweet nibbles and an excellent wine list.

Open Tu-Su from 5 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-8711. $$

La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai. We-Su, 8:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Island luxury in ambience and cuisine. Su-M 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Tu-Sa 11 a.m.-11 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$$

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Steak, seafood and more... The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S Kihei Rd, Kihei.891-8860. $$

Surfside Deli - Plate lunches and deli sandwiches. Daily 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 1993 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-1385. $

Thailand Cuisine - Authentic Thai food; soup, salad, noodles and vegetarian specials. M-Sa 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Nightly 5-10 p.m. 1819 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 875-0839. $

K→Kama’aina Discount

Livewire Cafe - Coffee and snacks. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Su-Th; 6 a.m.-12 a.m. ,F-Sa. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 5796009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food.

810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - American. Daily fish preparations and salad bar. Su-Th 5:30-9:30 p.m. FSa 5:30-10 p.m. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 5728711. $$

Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Southern foods with “Forrest Gump” theme. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3111. $$

Fish Market - Fresh Fish. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 3600 L.Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokawai. 661-9888. $ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining. Open 11 a.m.-12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 6618112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Casual breakfast and lunch with oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661-8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old Hawaiian-style coffeehouse. Open 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside.Daily 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Nightly 5:30-9 p.m.

505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K

Pho Mai Vietnamese Vietnamese Cuisine Cuisine •Authentic Vietnamese Food

Canoes - Polynesian-American. Open 11 a.m.2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. $$

•Full Vegetarian Menu

Captain Dave Fish & Chips - American. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $

Lahaina Center

Cheeseburger in Paradise - American. 8 a.m.-10 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K

Near Hilo Hattie’s Phone: 667-5809 Mon-Sat: 10am-10pm 2 Hour Free Parking

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

15

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and haupia pie. Old Lahaina Center, 667-7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s-style. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali, 667-6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 6618422. $$$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever!

Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Jack’s Terrace Restaurant & Bar Breakfast, burgers, sandwiches, muchies, steak, seafood, pasta and stir fry. Daily 7 a.m.-11 p.m. 843 Waine’e St, Lahaina, 6679616. $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food. 3350 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - American-Mexican food served to midnight. 2395 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabobs - Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs. Daily 9 a.m.-9:30 p.m.

Lahaina Marketplace, 661-9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie. Daily 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.

845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar. Daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ L&L Drive In - Local. 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Lahaina Cannery mall. 1221 Honoap’ilani Rd. 6619888.

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

Lahaina Coolers - Eclectic American, with late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Nightly 5-10 p.m. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar Cosmopolitan. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9090. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. Daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. M-Su. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining with pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667-2288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining and organic whole grains cuisine.1307 Front St., Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and mac salad. Napili Plaza, 665-6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

American cusine, along with some local favorites.

Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 667-1929. $$ K Maui Brewing Co. - Fresh fish and kiawe rotisserie meats. Breakfast, lunch, happy hour, dinner and late nite menus. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3474. $$ Maui’s Own Ice Cream Parlor - Enough said. 900 Front St, Lahaina, 667-2663. $ Maui Sushi - Full sushi bar inside Bamboo Bar and Grill. 5-11 p.m. 505 Front St, Lahaina. 281-2775. $

K→Kama’aina Discount

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, juices and island spices. Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $ Mercado - Latino/Mexican market. Open M-F, 8 a.m.5:30 p.m. 3636 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai, 6655900. $

Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s Italian bistro with pasta, pizza and salads. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 6616633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

Michael Anthony’s Pizza - Gourmet pizza delivery from Lahaina to Kapalua. 5 p.m.-close. 669-7499. $$

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $

Moose McGillycuddy’s - American, bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $

Pad Thai - Thai, local. Open daily 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, 661-1971. $

Mr. Sub - Specialty sandwiches, salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 6675683. $

Pineapple Grill - Asian Pacific cuisine. Daily 8a.m.10p.m. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-9600. $

Mulligan’s at the Wharf - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer. 7 a.m.2 a.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881. $$ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 6620890. $ Nagasako Okazu-ya - Local deli. 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Old Lahaina Center, Lahaina, 661-0985. $

Pipeline Pizza - Fast food. Su-Th 8a.m.-9:30p.m., F-Sa 8a.m.-10p.m. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 661-7888. $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, salads and Greek gyros. Honokowai Marketplace, 6672929. $ Plantation House - Hawaiian-Mediterranean cuisine. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $

Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Japanese. Maui Marriott, Ka’anapali, 667-1200 ext. 51. $$

Quizno’s Subs - Toasted subs. M-Sa, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su, 12-8 p.m. 170 Papalaua Street, Lahaina Mall, 6675111. $

Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. 10 a.m.2:30 p.m., 4:30-9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $

Reilley’s - Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana, 6677477. $$$

Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Reasonably priced tapas, Hawaiian style menu for dinner. 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m.

The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $

Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees in an upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30-10 p.m. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-6999. $$$

Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$

Rusty Harpoon Restaurant & Tavern - American.

Whalers Village, Ka’anapali, 661-3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. 5-10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar - Japanese, Island. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286. $$ K

Winner VOTED runner-up BEST BURGER ON MAUI

BY MAUITIME WEEKLY READERS

Sushi, Seafood, Sake, oh boy!

LIVE!

Smoke House - BBQ, American. Open 11:30 a.m.10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Italian. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667-4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Healthy deli. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$

Two Years in a Row!

Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m.-4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $

Champions League Final

ARSENAL Vs. FRESH FISH STEAKS • SALADS BABY-BACK RIBS CHICKEN

Sea House Restaurant - Pacific-Rim, eclectic.

5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500. $$

BARCELONA Wednesday May 17th 8:30 am See the final here! and enjoy Breakfast with Champions

Terrace Restaurant - Breakfast, 6:30-11 a.m. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$

Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

Open Daily for Dinner Tuesday - Saturday 5:30-10pm Sundays & Mondays 5-10pm

LATE NIGHTS

10pm to 1am - Guests 21 & over w/ID KAPALUA - Thursday & Friday KIHEI - Thursday, Friday & Saturday

50% OFF Sushi & Appetizers

+ Draft Beer & Sake Specials

FREE Laser Karaoke

Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. M-F 11 a.m.2 p.m. Nightly from 5 p.m. Old Lahaina Center, 6672814. $ Tiki Terrace Restaurant - Seafood specialties, steaks and Hawaiian cuisine. Nightly 6-9 p.m. Su brunch 9 a.m.-1 p.m. 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy, Kaanapali, 661-0011. $$ Tropica - Steaks and fresh fish. Open 5:30-9:30 p.m. Westin Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open daily, delivery 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-6773. $ WM-The Restaurant - Metropolitan cuisine. Open daily, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898. $$$ Zushi - Japanese. 811 Front St., Lahaina. 67-5142.

Daily Early Bird Specials On Front St. in Lahaina upstairs in

The Wharf Cinema Center

667-0908

16

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

180 Dickenson Street Lahaina 661-7082 Open from 8am - 2am Serving a full menu til midnight

The Kapalua Shops 669-6286 Kihei Town Center 879-0004 www.dkRestaurants.com

For corrections or to get your listing in this section, please fax 244-0446

Miss K

PHOTO: F STOP PRODUCTIONS LLC

Saturday, 8 p.m. at Iao Theater [PAGEANT] Since the beginning of theater, men have been wearing costumes to look like women. You see, women weren’t allowed to act on stage, so men had to play all the characters. There seems to be some discrepancy about how the term “drag queen” came to be, but one theory is that “drag” was the term used for lady costumes back in the day and “queen” refers to gay males. Either way, all of the gender illusionists I’ve met in my life have been sweet, energetic, friendly and inspirationally accessorized. Lucky for us, it’s time for the annual Miss Ke ala o ka malamalama Pagaent. Each year brings a new and exciting show to benefit the HIV/AIDS Foundation. This year, it’s going to be a tough one, as four previous Miss K title holders (2002Chacha Frenzie, 2003 – Sheila Blidge, 2004 – Destiny Passion, 2005 Tyra) take on first time Maui challenger Lacie Cortez. Cat fight!

And to make matters flashier, the theme is “Viva Las Vegas.” This reminds me of a song—“Badass Vegas hoes… late night bootie calls… shiny disco balls!” Tickets: $15. Call 242-4900. [HEIDI KING]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

17

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Washi to Wings

Albo’s Spray

Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center

Thursday, 7:30 p.m. at McCoy Studio Theater, MACC [COMEDY] Sounds kind of dirty, doesn’t it? But Albo is actually one of them East Coast manics named “Mike,” who has a “performance” of sorts he calls “Spray,” which includes such comedic elements as dance, irony and dishing on iconic Americanisms like botox, cell phones, undermining best friends, emotional monologues and neurotic narcissism. It’s what he calls a “fullfrontal frenetic assault” depicted by his wryly observant autobiographical stories. Translation: he’s been there, he’s done it, he’s ready to dish it out.

Tickets: $18. Call 242-7469. Oh, and he’ll also be reading from his recent novel, The Underminer, on Saturday, noon at Borders Books in Kahului. Free. And he’ll do some stand-up shtick at the Maui AIDS Foundation’s Miss Ke ala o ka malamalama Pageant on Saturday, 8 p.m. at the Iao Theater.

THURSDAY

[ART] “Washi to Wings, The Art of Japanese Kites” is an exhibition of contemporary and traditional kites from Japan running now through June 11, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. Free admission.

Thursday will feature a free lecture by Nobuhiko Yoshizumi, a master kite builder from Kyoto, and Scott Skinner, founder of the Drachen Foundation. The opening festivities for the exhibit will be on Saturday, and they’ll be giving away 250 kits to the first “kids” who come through.

The Hui will also feature kitemaking workshops through the weekend, demonstrating the building, handpainting, block printing and flying of kites, for adults and keiki. For more info, call 572-6560, ext. 23

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744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 18

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

The Kid with the Bassoon Saturday, 7:30 p.m. at Waiola Congregational Church in Lahaina

Ai! You Stay Hapai!

Friday-Saturday, 6:30 p.m. at Steppingstone Playhouse [STAGE] I hope you’ve gotten presents for your mom, ‘cause this Sunday is Mother’s Day. You could take her to celebrate with a comedic performance that deals with motherhood. She’d probably appreciate the story of a young couple living on Maui who discover they’re going to have a baby. Aww... Well, it’s all fun and games until somebody gets pregnant, that’s what I always say. Watch their hilarious experience and then afterwards enjoy the dessert buffet being served. Mmm. Sweets. Be ready for choke pidgin and slightly mature humor (high school age and older). Tickets: $25. For more info, call 244-5744.

[HEIDI KING]

DAY

[CLASSICAL MUSIC FESTIVAL] By the time Carl Maria von Weber (1786-1826) was 14 he’d written his first opera. Maui’s own James Perlman hasn’t quite achieved that distinction, but he’s not far off.

Set to attend 10th grade at Seabury Hall this year, Perlman is what music fans refer to as a child prodigy. A bassoonist, he’s already soloed with the Honolulu Symphony, appeared on National Public Radio’s From the Top program and has won the Honolulu Symphony Concerto Competition.

This Saturday, as part of the finale concert of the Maui Classical Music Festival, he and Maui Music Conservatory owner Ruther Murata Eisen will play Weber’s Andante and Hungarian Rondo for Bassoon and Piano. There’ll be some Mozart and Schumann thrown in there too, I think, but Perlman’s sure to be the evening’s showcase performance. Waiola Congregational Church is located at 535 Waine’e St. in Lahaina. Tickets are $20.

For more information call 879-4908 or visit www.maui-cmf.org. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

➤➤➤➤➤ MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ WEDNESDAY

Available at Manta Ray Dive Shop 819 Front Street

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

19

form

DKL DK Levin Company

Official information

For office use only

Phone number

Fax number

808 244 7770 808 244 7720

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Important!

We’re weird.

We actually LOVE doing taxes.

In no time at all, you’ll have beautifully prepared returns, with every possible deduction and credit. The IRS will be happy, you'll be happy, and you may even discover something for yourself.

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Wolfgang Petersen terrifies with disaster movie remake From Wolfgang Petersen’s majestic 360-degree pan of the enormous modern-day luxury cruise ship that will be capsized by a 150-foot wave to his deliberately caliginous closing shot, Poseidon is a nerve-wracking thrill ride. All fears of the film being yet another abysmal Hollywood remake are waved aside as character traits are economically mapped out in the moments before the film’s pivotal New Year’s Eve disaster.

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MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Blood in the Blue Room

00

Mark Protosevich’s better-than-average script fits like a hand-in-glove with Petersen’s (Das Boot) masterful detailed direction emphasizing the claustrophobic debris-filled environment that a handful of characters risk, climbing toward the ship’s overturned hull, in hopes of escaping before it sinks. The extraordinary thing about the movie is its deductive ability to capture the selfish and selfless duality of its survivors as a universal quality that applies to anyone in a desperate situation.

Professional gambler Dylan Johns (Josh Lucas) wins a significant hand of poker against former New York Mayor Robert Ramsey (well played by Kurt Russell) in the ship’s Main Ballroom.

Ramsey’s intractable daughter Jennifer (Emmy Rossum) has just gotten secretly engaged to her boyfriend Christian (Mike Vogel) even as Richard Nelson (Richard Dreyfuss), a recently jilted gay architect, contemplates suicide seconds before witnessing the vast approaching tidal wave.

In a matter of seconds the colossal swell hits the ship broadside, and the movie takes on a nightmare quality. Hundreds of lives are instantaneously lost to millions of gallons of water hitting the boat in fearsome scenes that push you back in your chair. Electrical fires spark, beams fall, and an elevator ejects its passenger as chaos reigns and death pervades.

Caught between staying in the comparative safety of the Main Ballroom, where Captain Bradford (Andre Braugher) has ordered survivors to remain, former firefighter Dylan ignores the command and starts climbing away from the crowd. Inspired by Dylan’s decisiveness, nine-year-old Conor (Jimmy Bennett) brings his mother Maggie (Jacinda Barrett) to follow the stalwart leader to imagined safety. Our core group’s journey encompasses the bulk of the story that challenges the audience to empathize with the daring, cowardly or drastic decisions of the diverse group of protagonists.

Integral to the group is Valentin (Freddy Rodriguez—Harsh Times), a young Latino ship’s waiter, and his stowaway immigrant friend Elena (Mia Maestro—The Motorcycle Diaries). Rodriguez plays his immediately likable character without affectation thus adding to the ever so delicate political subtext that screenwriter Protosevich pinpoints with the subplot.

Elena is claustrophobic, and Mia Maestro provides the movie with its most apprehensive adult character for the audience to relate to. You never doubt that Elena is deathly afraid of what it will take to survive, but also of her eventual fate if she does because of her alien status. Valentin and Elena serve a significant function in the film because they sharply snap the story out of the cliché-laden domain of the original 1972 film The Poseidon Adventure. MTW

MOVIECAPSULES

TSOTSI - (R) - This rather intense film shows six days in the life of a ruthless gang leader in the South African township of Soweto who ends up caring for a baby that happened to be in the car he just jacked. Stars Presley Chweneyagae and Mothusi Mogano. 94 min. (Anthony Pignataro)

New This Week JUST MY LUCK - (PG13) - Lindsay Lohan plays a college graduate who’s just starting a career in the big city and she seems to have the best luck ever. Until she goes to a masquerade ball and somehow switches her luck with a guy she kisses. Watch her hunt him down. (Heidi King) POSEIDON - (PG13) - Action/Adventure This ridiculous remake of a ridiculous film concerns a luxury ocean liner that gets hit by a tidal wave (uh huh) and rolls upside down (yeah, right) forcing survivors (led by Kurt Russell) to climb (or down, I suppose) the ship to the surface. 98 min. (AP)

Now Showing AKEELAH & THE BEE - (PG) - Drama - This is the story of an 11-year-old girl who participates in the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Yeah, I was always real good at those—see how far it’s gotten me? Stars Angela Bassett, Keke Palmer and Laurence Fishburne. 112 min. (Samantha Campos) AMERICAN DREAMZ - (PG13) - Comedy Dennis Quaid plays the “out of touch” President (much like Bush) that goes on everyones favorite karaoke-esque show.

Hugh Grant plays the producer of “American Dreamz” (much like “American Idol”). I wonder what Simon would tell Bush if he were on the show. (HK) AN AMERICAN HAUNTING - (PG13) Thriller - Supposedly based on a true story. In

1818 a ghost, refered to as “Old Kate” took up residency in the Bell household. The spirit tortured mainly the youngest daughter and only became stronger as they tried to get rid of her.

Now Hollywood has come up with a film to show how it all went down. 84 min. (HK) THE BENCHWARMERS - (PG13) - Comedy, Sports - It’s Revenge of the Nerds meets Bad News Bears in this tale of dorks overcoming all, starring Rob Schneider, a pack of SNL alumni, and that guy from Napoleon Dynamite. Mel the Millionaire Nerd hatches a plan to form a team of pariahs to do battle against the toughest little league team in the state and enlists the aid of Gus and his misfit friends, Ritchie and Clark. Gus’s prowess on the diamond earns him the adoration of the dweeb masses, but what happens when they learn that he was once a bully? I think I smell Oscar. 87 min. (Will Watkins) FRIENDS WITH MONEY - (R) - Comedy Jennifer Anniston and Joan Cusack lead an ensemble cast portraying the plight of upperclass, West Coast gals on the brink of going Middle-Age Crazy. No animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture. 88min. (WW) HOOT - (PG) - Family, Adventure - No, it’s not about large breasted females in tight white shirts and orange shorts. It’s about about a young boy that moves from Montana to Florida and finds himself defending the lives of endangered owls.

Sure to be a heart-warming, eye-welling good time. 90 min. (HK) ICE AGE 2: THE MELTDOWN - (PG) - Adventure, Comedy, Animation - I’m sorry but I loved the first one. Suprisingly, the sequel may just be up to par.

They’ve got the original voices for this unlikely group of pre-historic animals as they cope with a new set of rules due to the ice, y’know, melting.

90 min. (HK) LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN - R - Thriller, Crime, Gangster - Josh Hartnett stars as Slevin, the victim of both an unfortunate name as well a case of mistaken identity, who finds himself in the crossfire of two warring New York Crime Bosses known as The Rabbi (Ben Kingsley) and The Boss (Morgan Freeman). To further complicate matters, he must also stay one step ahead of the dogged Detective Brikowski (Stanley Tucci) and the nefarious assassin Goodkat (Bruce Willis). Wackiness ensues. 110 min. (WW) MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III - (PG 13) Action/Adventure - Once again Tom Cruise plays super-elite spymaster Ethan Hunt, this time tasked with finding some uber-bad guy played by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Expect the same big explosions, hot chicks and Ving Rhames that carried the previous MI flicks. 126 min. (AP) RV - (PG) - Adventure, Comedy, Family - Robin Williams plays Bob, a work obsessed guy that tricks his family into giving up their dream vacation to Hawaii in exchange for a road trip in an RV. Bob only does this to please his boss, but his family doesn’t know that. Confusion, slap-stick comedy and the eventual realization that family is whats really important is inevitable. 98 min. (HK) THE SENTINEL - (PG 13) - Thriller - Think In the

Line of Fire meets The Fugitive with a little 24 thrown in, kinda. Michael Douglas plays a veteran Secret Service agent wrongly accused of conspiring the kill the President and Keifer Sutherland plays his protégé charged with bringing him—the wrongfully accused agent, not the President— down, I think. I have a headache. 108 min. (AP) SILENT HILL - (R) - Horror - A little girl does some sleep walking and talks about a place she’s never been. So her mother decides it’ll help the girl if they go to the place, a town called Silent Hill. The girl goes missing and her mom has to go up against the forces of evil. Moms are hard core when it comes to their babies. 127 min. (HK) STICK IT - (PG13) - Comedy - The writer of “Bring It On” has come up with another movie with a similar concept. A rebel girl that fled the life of gymnastics gets in trouble with the law and is forced to go back to it. It’s a hard knock life. 103 min. (HK) TSOTSI - (NR) - Drama - This rather intense film shows six days in the life of a ruthless gang leader in the South African township of Soweto who ends up caring for a baby that happened to be in the car he just jacked. Stars Presley Chweneyagae and Mothusi Mogano. 94 min. (AP) UNITED 93 - (R) - Drama - This is a dramatization of the events surrounding the Sept. 11, 2001 hijacking and crash of United Airlines Flight 93, as well as a best guess at what occurred on the plane itself. Movie audiences are already freaking out over the trailer, so you can imagine how they’ll receive the movie itself. 90 min. (AP) THE WILD - (G) - Animation, Family - A young lion is transported to Africa from the New York City zoo...by mistake. Then freed, also by mistake. His loving ‘ohana from the zoo band together to try to locate and bring him back. Does anyone else think this seems a lot like Madagascar? The difference is this is Disney and that was Dreamworks. Kinda like A Bugs Life and Antz. 94 min. (HK)

$8*

B O YC O T T S E A F O O D F R O M C A N A D A !

STO P T H E S L A U G H T E R O F 3 5 0 ,0 0 0 B A BY H A R P S E A L S I N C A N A D A !

Everyy Fridayy @ NOON onn KAOII 11100 AM Calll 242-78000 orr 866-982-7800 www.ontheupsidewithteri.com email teriontheupside@aol.com Sponsors:

Lahaina Store Grill and Oyster Bar, Kaimanas Beach Hale, Ocean Notions, Island Dermatology, SOS Hawaii.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee American Dreamz - PG13 - Th only (1:50), 6:55 An American Haunting - PG13 - Th (2:45, 3:15, 5, 5:30), 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10, F (11:40, 12:10, 1:50, 2:20, 4, 4:30), 6:45, 7:15, 9:20, 9:50, Sa-Su (11:40, 12:10, 1:50, 2:20), 4, 4:30, 6:45, 7:15, 9:20, 9:50, M-W (1:50, 2:20, 4, 4:30), 6:45, 7:15, 9:20, 9:50 Benchwarmers - PG13 - Th (2:40, 3:20, 4:45, 5:25), 7:05, 7:40, 9:10, F (11:50, 2:15, 4:20), 6:35, 9:15, Sa- Su (11:50, 2:15), 4:20, 6:35, 9:15, M-W (2:15, 4:20), 6:35, 9:15 Friends With Money - R - Th only (2:50, 5:10), 7:20, 9:45 Hoot - PG - Th (3, 5:15), 7:30, 9:45, F (11:45, 2:35, 4:50), 7:20, 9:35, Sa-Su (11:45, 2:35), 4:50, 7:20, 9:35, M-W (2:35, 4:50), 7:20, 9:35 Ice Age 2 - PG - Th (3:10, 5:20), 7:25, 9:35, F (12:15, 2:50, 5:10), 7:35, 9:45, Sa-Su (12:15, 2:50), 5:10, 7:35, 9:45, M-W (2:50, 5:10), 7:35, 9:45 Just My Luck - PG13 - F (12:20, 2:45, 5:15), 7:40, 10, Sa-Su (12:20, 2:45), 5:15, 7:40, 10, MW (2:45, 5:15), 7:40, 10 Lucky # Slevin - R - Th (1:40, 4:15), 6:50, 9:25, F-W (1:45), 6:55 Poseidon - PG13 - Th 10, F (11:30, 12, 12:45, 1:15, 2, 2:30, 3:10, 3:45, 4:30, 5, 5:30), 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (11:30, 12, 12:45, 1:15, 2, 2:30, 3:10), 3:45, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9, 9:30, 10, M-W (2, 2:30, 3:10, 3:45, 4:30, 5, 5:30), 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9, 9:30, 10 Silent Hill - R - Th (1:15, 1:30, 4, 4:20), 6:45, 7:10, 9:30, F, M-W (4:10), 9:25, Sa-Su 4:10, 9:25 Tsotsi - R - Th only (4:25), 9:20 United 93 - R - Th (1:20, 4:10), 7, 9:40, F (11:30, 2:05, 4:35), 7:05, 9:40, Sa-Su (11:30, 2:05), 4:35, 7:05, 9:40, M-W (2:05, 4:35), 7:05, 9:40

KUKUI MALL

*with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

Friday, May 19th My sister Judy will be here to discuss life in New Orleans & their new law concerning pets.

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Tsotsi - R - W only 5, 7:30

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Akeelah & the Bee - PG - Daily (2:15), 7:25 M:I:III - PG13 - Daily (1,2), 4:15, 4:45, 7, 7:30, 9:45, 10:10 RV - PG - Th-F, M-W (2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:35, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:35 The Sentinel - PG13 - Daily (2), 4:30, 7:10, 10 Stick It - PG13 - Th-F, M-W (3:05), 5:20, 7:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:45, 3:05), 5:20, 7:45, 10 The Wild - G - Daily 4:45, 9:50

WED, MAY 17

On The UPside With Teri

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

KA’AHUMANU 6

I S T H E R E R E A L LY A N U P S I D E TO A L L T H I S M A D N E SS ?

Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema Wednesday, May 17

SHOWTIMES

1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Hoot - PG - Th (1), 4:15, 7:30, F-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45, 9:55, Su-W (1:45), 5, 8:15 M:I:III - PG13 - Th (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, F-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:30, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30 Poseidon - PG13 - F-Sa (1:15), 4:45, 7:30, 9:50, Su-W (1:15), 4:45, 8 RV - PG - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:45, F-Sa (1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45, Su-W (1:30), 4:30, 7:45 United 93 - Th only (1:45), 5, 8:05

FRONT STREET THEATRE 900 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 An American Haunting - PG13 - Th (4:15), 6:45, 9, F, M-W (4:45), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 Just My Luck - PG13 - F, M-W (4:30), 7, 9:30, SaSu (1:15), 4:30, 7, 9:30 M:I:III - PG13 - Th-F, M-W (4), 7:15, 10:05, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7:15, 10:05 The Sentinel - PG13 - Th only (4:45), 7:30, 10 Stick It - PG13 - Th (4:30), 7, 9:35, F, M-W (4:15), 6:45, 9:15, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:15, 6:45, 9:15

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Akeelah & the Bee - PG - Th only (1), 4, 6:45 Hoot - PG - Th (1:30, 4:30), 7, 9:30, F, M-W (1:30, 4:30), 7:15, 9:35, Sa-Su ( 11, 1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 9:35 Poseidon - PG13 - Th 10, F, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (10:45, 1:15), 4:15, 7, 9:30 RV - PG - Th (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, F, M-W (1, 4), 6:45, 9:15, Sa-Su (10:30, 1), 4, 6:45, 9:15

PUMP DON’ T DUMP IN OUR OCEAN WATERS!

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

21

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

Fighting Evil and Making Rhymes Amphibeus Tungs, the superheroes of hip-hop on Maui Hip hop does exist on Maui. I know because I once caught a performance of Amphibeus Tungs and friends—in the parking lot of a big show.

Amphibeus Tungs

PHOTO: SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Thursday, 10 p.m. at Hapa’s; Saturday, 10 p.m. at Casanova; Monday, 10 p.m. at Paradice Bluz.

22

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

The up-and-coming local underground hip hop crew started as two rhymers, or MCs: Easton H. (a.k.a.

Quest Eon) and Beau S. (a.k.a. Beau Sun), who’ve been friends since the sixth grade. In high school, they formed P-Town—a crew of five MCs, including two older guys who eventually left the group, along with a friend who passed away shortly after high school.

It was then Easton and Beau realized they had to either get serious or nip their hip-hop dreams in the bud.

“Hip hop is the only music that can describe a certain person, place or thing,” said Easton. “The rhyme tells a story—can bring words to life, paint a reality for you.”

Easton and Beau recorded a demo under the name “Odd Couple.” And they’ve been rhyming—beatboxing, freestyling, ciphering—as the collective Amphibeus Tungs ever since.

They’d meet up after clubs, in the parking lot or at parties and just start jamming, with various b-boys and girls joining in.

“People would look at us and think we’re just dumb kids doing stupid shit,” said Easton. “But you can do your art form and poetry on the spot, and let your vocals be your instruments.”

Niko K. (a.k.a. Pazess One) and Jay Pacubas (a.k.a. Jay Peacepipe) are the group’s DJs. Their producer Jai Lewis, or “Freedom,” lays down the outline and finalizes the tracks.

“It’s like a symphony,” said Easton.

“Jai makes the beat, sets the mood, [we rhyme] and the DJs scratch, filling in the gaps.”

Although he’s known Easton and Beau the longest, George Jackson, or “Chef,” recently joined the band as their sole ‘ukulele player. They got the idea from impromptu jam sessions at the beach, where Easton would rhyme over George’s ‘uke.

“I rhyme different because of the ‘uke sound,” said Easton. “Especially when there’s no beat. [Instead] I’ve gotta

Flying into a town near you! catch the fingernail clack of his strumming.”

Amphibeus Tungs insist they just want to make good music that people will appreciate—the kind they say takes time, as well as “blood, sweat and tears.”

“We’re not trying to appeal to the masses,” said Easton. “We want the masses to appeal to us. We’re making new stuff.”

“Don’t mistake it for the crunk on the radio,” said George. “We all know the music on the radio sucks—it sounds the same.”

“We’re talking about poets and MCs,” said Easton. “Not rappers. We give ‘em props for making music but when you sell your soul, wearing chains and shit, it’s cheesy.”

In the energetic, crowd-riling track “Burn It Down,” Easton and Beau incite people to be aware of political injustices to Hawai’i, its land and its people—cautioning of what’s becoming increasingly inevitable on Maui.

“People are building all over the islands—Beau likes to call Oahu, ‘a microchip,’” said Easton. “It’s just ugly.

That’s not paradise at all. And that’s what we’re turning into.”

In the song, the MCs talk of wanting to “fight the persecutors” and to right the “wrongdoings to all walks of life.”

Ultimately, they give an effective and impassioned plea to burn it all down.

“Not literally,” said Easton. “I just feel like saying ‘fuck you’ to everything sometimes…

So actually Amphibeus Tungs is trying to rid the world of evil and make good music while we’re at it. We’re like superheroes!”

And like most superheroes, they’re also currently recording an album, entitled First Impressions. But Easton is uncharacteristically cagey about its release date.

“It comes out,” said Easton, “when it comes out.”

Recently, Amphibeus Tungs have evolved into opening for well-known visiting mainland groups like Digital Underground, Beat Junkies, Living Legends, Zion-I and the Visionaries. And yet, local hip hop is struggling to find its place amongst the reggae, Jawaiian and cover band-inundated clubs at home, to say nothing of being taken seriously abroad.

“We like being the undergrounds, you know,” said Easton. “Plus, we’re from Maui so we take it with a grain of salt.

They think we’re all palm trees and coconuts out here.”

“Grass huts and canoes,” said George, agreeing. MTW

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS Spray - Thursday (tonight!). Acclaimed New York City writer/performer Mike Albo presents a humorous fast-paced collection of monologues, characters and dance breaks that take the audience on a tour through freaky, apocalypse-sensitive America, full of botoxic beauty, government fear factors and constant reality show orgasms. A portion of the proceeds go to Maui AIDS Foundation. Tickets: $18.

7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

From Michigan to Maui - Thursday, Saturday & Monday. Hip hop, soul, reggae and funk with Michigan and Maui’s finest, including; S.U.N, Amphibeus Tungs, Twist 1, Jak da Mak, Buff1 & 14KT, Jay P, Chaka & Tate and 4Wordz. Thu, Hapa’s, 879-9001; Sat, Casanova, 572-0220; Mon, Paradice Bluz, 667-5299.

Ai! You Stay Hapai! - Friday-Saturday. Talking Stories theater troupe and Mediation Services of Maui present a new original comedy written in honor of all Maui mothers. Silent auction before the show and a dessert buffet follows the show. $25. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, 244-5744.

Warriors of the Ring - Saturday. This year, take your mom to see guys beat each other into bloody masses. Why do I have the sudden urge to build an octagon in my yard? Maybe because Maui’s own Kendall Groves (Ultimate Fighter 3) is making a special appearance. $50, $35, $25. War Memorial Gym, Kahului, 357-5463.

Augie T. - Saturday. An acclaimed comedian that is energetic and spontaneous. Watch out! Hosted by Champ, with special guest comedians, the Poi Boiz.

Includes dinner buffet. Tickets: $45. 6 p.m., Maui Beach Hotel, 877-0051.

Classical Music Festival - Saturday. Hear the works of Mozart, Weber and Schumann brought back to life. 7:30 p.m., Waiola Congretional Church, Lahaina, 661-4349.

Seals & Seals - Saturday. The legendary music of two great artists! Jim Seals (of Seals & Crofts fame) and brother Dan Seals (the “England Dan” with John Ford Coley) bring a nostalgic song fest of their combined 70’s favorite hits: “All That Glitters Is Not Gold,” “Let The Good Times Roll” and “Castles in the Sand.” For the first time since their early childhood days in west Texas, they are performing together, writing together and recording together. Tickets: $38, $33, $28. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7569.

Miss Ke ala o ka malamalama Pageant - Saturday.

This year Maui’s most celebrated gender illusionists will compete on stage for the coveted Miss K crown.

This year’s Masters of Ceremonies are Dean Wong, Pageant Director and Kathy “Tita” Collins of Mana`o Radio with special guest Mike Albo. $15. 8 p.m., Iao Theater, Wailuku, 242-4900.

Upcountry Acoustic - Sunday. Celebrate Mother's Day with Eric James and Riese Perry (from Downsideup). Followed by folk-blues artist Victoria Barrett with her very talented band Rodney K. and Dan Miniciello. Have lunch, enjoy good music, share time with your mother, friends or loved ones, and support your local non-profit radio station all in one. $7. 2-5 p.m., Cassanova, Makawao, 572-0220.

The Rock Slinger - Tuesday. Children's musical by Tom Long Allen Pote. Emmanuel Lutheran Schoool students grades K-8 present a musical production bringing the story of David & Goliath alive in a fresh new way. Free. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC.

TICKETS ON SALE For Children’s Sake - May 19. Themed "Kodomo No Tame Ni" ("For the sake of the children"), the Maui Matsuri's inaugural Japanese karaoke contest is coming. For the sake of the children, be realistic when you choose your songs, okay? Tickets: $5, available at Credit Associates of Maui, Ltd., Sam Sato's, and Goodies 'n Things. 6:30 p.m., Baldwin High School Auditorium.

Oahu: Planet of the Drums - May 19. Drum and bass music festival with AK1200, Dieselboy, Dara, MC J-Messinian, Shy FX, Sovern-T, KSM, G-Spot, Ikon and BTF. That’s a sick list. Definitely worth the travel. 18 and up only. 9 p.m.-4 a.m., Wave Waikiki, 1877 Kalakaua Ave, Honolulu, Oahu, groovetickets.com or 1-877-71-GROOVE. Frank De Lima - May 19-20. Frank De Lima's comedy show is a witty revue of banter and songs that poke fun at people, places or situations; whatever he thinks could use a quick kick in the funny bone. Be prepared with new giggles, as Frank constantly updates his show and his collection of outrageous characters, goofy costumes, funny songs and “zinger” asides to keep the show fresh and funny fo’evah! Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Dance Extravaganza - May 20-21. Celebrate dance with Maui Academy of Performing Arts in two spec-

tacular shows for the entire family. The weekend will open with The Extravaganza, a toe-tapping, heel stomping review of jazz, tap, lyrical, and hip hop on Sat. To close the event MAPA’s ballerinas will perform an elegant rendition of the ballet Gaite Parisienne on Sun. Tickets: $20, $14, $12. Sat, 2 p.m.; Sun, 3 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Feel da Vibez - May 26. Good Vibez Entertainment presents the second benefit concert for Ginee Dickison featuring the legendary roots of Israel Vibration, returning to the island of Maui after a 20year hiatus! Special guest Inna Vision. $36, $26.

Tickets available at Beach Road Records (Kihei), Bahama Mama (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Paradise Audio (Wailuku), Paradice Bluz (Lahaina), & Maui Sea Skins (Haiku). 6 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center, www.goodvibezmusic.com.

Alison Arngrim - Jun. 8. “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch.” In this hilarious high-energy one-woman show, Little House on the Prairie’s pre-eminent brat, Nellie Oleson (aka Alison Arngrim) takes to the stage to recount her wild adventures in Hollywood and beyond. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Miss Maui Filipina - Jun. 10. The Maui Filipino Community Council presents the 48th annual scholarship pageant, featuring women of Filipino ancestry vying for the title of Miss Maui Filipina 2006, and celebrating a new generation of Filipinos in Hawaii.

Tickets: $25, $18. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Barefoot Bash - Jun. 11. A celebration under the stars with Barefoot Natives (Willie K and Eric Gilliom), Henry Kapono Band, Makaha Sons, HAPA, and Gypsy Pacific. $30. Lahaina Civic Center, www.barefootbash.com.

Paul Jacobs - Jun. 12. Paul Jacobs, recently appointed Chairman of the Organ Department at The Juilliard School in New York City, has become famous in the United States in recent years for, among other achievements, his performances of the complete organ works of Johann Sebastian Bach, Cesar Franck and Olivier Messiaen. Now you can see him live. $15.

7:30 p.m., Makawao Union Church, 579-9261.

Oahu: Fire Tribe - Jun 14-18. The 2006 Summer Solstice Fire Tribe Gathering, is a conscious community celebration focused on dark-to-dawn magical fire circles. Friends from all paths and traditions are invited to co-create transformation and artful relationship through chanting, dance, poetry, drumming, visual art and spontaneous sacred ceremony. Fees start at $50. http://www.firetribehawaii.org or http://www.firetribehawaii.org.

Taiko Festival - Jun. 24. Zenshin Daiko’s 7th Annual Taiko Festival. Award-winning storyteller Kathy Collins starts the evening with her alter ego "Tita" telling some of her favorite, classic Japanese stories in her own style. Zenshin Daiko perform new original pieces written by group members. The evening will culminate with the Los Angeles based On Ensemble, known for their unique and provocative taiko performances.Tickets: $15. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY with DJ BLAST Casanova’s Famous Ladies Night The Evening That Earned Casanova The Award “Best Late Night In Maui”

Music Starts @ 9:45 pm 10 Cover

$

Friday, May 12TH

HEINEKEN HOT HAWAIIAN NIGHTS Maui’s Battle of the Bands Music Starts @ 10:00 pm $

8 Cover

Saturday May 13TH

From Michigan to Maui

HIP HOP and SOUL From Detroit: S.U.N.--Buff 1 From Maui: Amphibeus Tungs--DJ JAY P--DJ TWIST1 Music Starts @ 9:45pm $

8 Cover

Sunday May 14TH

Victoria Barret and her band DSU2 (Erik James and Riese Perry) Music Starts @ 2:00pm 7.00 donation to Mana’o Radio

$

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

EVENTS Register to Vote - Through June 17. Support Maui with your vote and support Democracy in Action Marijuana Reform ordinances. 10,000 signatures needed by June to be ballot. 9 a.m.-9 p.m., 333 Dairy Road, (Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill), 579-8315.

Dog Training - Through May 30. Maui Humane Society is accepting enrollment for classes that start May 30. $110, $60. 877-3680.

Why Whales Do That - Mon-Sat through May 15.

Free informational center about whales with free ongoing showings of the film, “Why Whales Do That.” 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Alongside the Ma'alaea Harbor. Contact: Anne Rillero 249-8811.

Orchids - Thu-Sat. Maui Orchid Society's Mother's Day Show. See the hundreds of beautiful orchids on display and for sale. The perfect gift for mom. 9 a.m.4 p.m. Maui Mall, in the space next to Baskin Robbin's.

Precious Gems - Sat-Sun. Gem and crystal show with many vendors, specimens, jewelry, literature, ect. Free. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Aloha market courtyard, 1794 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei.

FRIDAY, MAY 12 Admissions - Fridays through Aug. 11. Maui Community College’s Educational Opportunity Center is hosting admissions information sessions for anyone interested in college but unsure of where to begin. Attendees will get the inside scoop on college admissions, financial aid, testing, housing, and other issues important to new students. Limited seating. Free, MCC, 984-3286.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

23

Thursday 05/11 BOCALINO

The New Project $5, 10pm

CAFE MARC AUREL

Rio Thing No cover, 7:30pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

Tom Cherry Band $5, 10pm

Ohana Groove $5, 10pm

Sunday 05/14 Industry Night w/DJ No cover, 9:30pm

From Michigan to Maui $8, 9:45pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DjBlast, $10, 9:45pm

Head High

Conscious Healing

Kryptones

MON - Kanoa & Friends, 9:30pm; WED - DJ Durty, 9:30pm

Chaka Bloodsaw & Amphibeus Tungs

Wild 105

DJ LX, Mark Ez & H Boogie

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

Orgasmic Sundays

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Willie K, 9pm; TUE - Ultra Fab w/DJ Skinny Guy, 9pm; WED - Dolla Balla w/DJ LX, 9pm MON - Reggae at the Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

Funky Monkey No cover, 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

SATURDAY, MAY 13 Job Fair - Nearly 70 businesses will be searching for qualified employees at Pacific Radio Group’s Summer Job Fair. Get a job! 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Queen Kaahumanu Center.

Fire & Light - Learn to spin fire or lights with Lucia Rose Horan. Learn basic or advanced moves in a big beautiful mirrored, high ceiling room. $20. 12-3 p.m., The Studio Maui, www.thestudiomaui.com or 575 9390.

Shimmy Nights - Be transported to a world of mystery and charm. No cover. 7 & 8 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, 244-0852.

SUNDAY, MAY 14 Sunset Jazz at Whalers Village - The jazz performances are free and feature some of Maui’s, and America’s, greatest jazz artists. 6-9 p.m., Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567.

Yeehaw! - Line dance lessons. All types of music. All ages welcome. Every Sun. Free. 7 p.m., Lahaina Cannery Mall, surf.song@verizon.net, 667-9513.

MONDAY, MAY 15 Screening - Prem Rawat at Miami Dade College Pt 2. Prem Rawat, known to millions as Maharaji, speaks with rare insight about the possibility of peace within. Free. 6:30 p.m. Cameron Center Auditorium, Wailuku, www.contactinfo.net or 573-3084.

TUESDAY, MAY 16 Action Team - Citizens patrol of Kalama Park with purpose of keeping it safe, clean and friendly. Every 3rd Tue of the month. 5:30 p.m., Kihei Comm.

Center, 879 5654.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 17 “WOW!” - Wailea on Wednesdays now presents live performances at The Shops at Wailea in the Lower Courtyard. This week: South Seas Island Magic w/ Henry Kaleialoha Allen. 6:30-8 p.m. Call 891-6770 ext. 2.

Dance - Valley Isle Ballroom Dance Club's monthly dance (every 3rd Wed). 7-9 p.m., Wailuku Community Center, 879-8266.

KEIKI Graphic Design for Teens - Every Mon. Hands-on graphic design class using PC computers with Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. For teenagers only.

Free. 3-4 p.m. at Hui Malama Learning Center, Wailuku. 244-5911, ext. 35.

After-School Tutoring - Every Tue and Thu. Hui Malama Learning Center provides trained tutors to all children who attend this after school program.

Students who attend will also have the opportunity to learn hula, play ‘ukulele, play games and more.

Free. 2:30-4 p.m., 399 N Market St., Wailuku. 9860700 or 244-5911 for other locations.

All About the Kids - Saturday. This 33rd Annual craft fair features over 100 of Hawaii's finest artists and crafters, auctions, delicious food, island entertainment, fresh produce, cut flowers, children's games, water slide, pony rides, famous artist face painting, our huge rummage sale, car show, art gallery, and a chili cook off. $3. 9 a.m. Seabury Hall, Makawao, 573-0068 or 572-7235.

Weed Warriors - May 20. Maui Invasive Species Committee is looking for young adults, ages 14 and older, to help with real-life data collection and resource management. The upcoming trip is cutting alien pines in Haleakala National Park. Space is limited, so call now if you’re interested. 573-6472.

MAY 11, 2006

MON - DJ Shark in the Water, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The New Project, $5, 10pm; WED - The Danny Duo, $5, 9:30pm

Battle of the Bands $8, 10pm

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

24

Monday 05/15 – Wednesday 05/17

MON - Open Mic, No cover, 7pm; TUE - Voodoo Suns Unplugged, No cover, 7:30pm

CASANOVA

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Saturday 05/13

Shimmy Night No cover, 7 & 8pm

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Friday 05/12

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Evolution No cover, 9pm

Tony Ray No cover, 9pm

LECTURE Improve Your Skills - Hui Malama Learning Center offers free tutoring for adults wishing to improve reading or spelling skills. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need it, but maybe someone you know does? Call Jill Beyer at 242-1174.

Tech & Net - Thu. 2006 Technology and Internet Expo presented by Oceanic Time Warner Business Class. $2. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, www.technologyandinternetexpo.com.

GED - Every Thu. Hui Malama Learning Center offers a free GED class to residents of Hana. 5-7 p.m. Hana Library, 244-5911.

Health - Thu. "Take Heart & Exercise" Program Free.

6-8 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku, 270-7308.

Classes for Entrepreneurs - Thu. How to set goals, do market research, determine pricing, make the sale, understand and create cash flow projections, and write a business plan; everything you need to know to start or grow your business. Free. 6-7 p.m.

MEO's Family Center, 99 Mahalani St, Wailuku, 2492990 ext. 228.

Business Structures - Wed. Each business structure has its own unique characteristics that impact the issues of liability, ownership, control/management, tax treatment, and dissolution of the business. Learn all about it. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall, 873-8247.

Entrepreneurship Talk Story - Every Fri. Established and Start-up entrepreneurs as well as other business service providers welcome to share challenges, solutions, brainstorm and network. Free.

11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Maui County Business Resource Center located in the Maui Mall. 873-8247.

Own a Home - Sat. Maui Nui Housing Task Force presents a workshop to prepare you for home ownership. 8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel Ball Room, 876-0240.

English as a Second Language - Every Tue and Thu. Hui Malama offers ESL classes for residents and visitors. 9 a.m.-12 p.m., 160 #A N. Market St., Wailuku, 249-0111.

ENVIRONMENTAL Screening - Fri. “Oasis of the Pacific” is a 58-minute documentary, plus 45 minutes of equally stunning bonus footage, by Zero Impact Productions that takes viewers on a revealing journey through the stunning yet endangered undersea world of the Hawaiian Islands. 7 p.m. Maui Booksellers, 244-9091.

Haleakala - Sat. Haleakala has added extras to their summer program. This week is: “Owls; Hunters on the Wing”. 7:30-8:30 p.m. Hosmer Grove Campground, Haleakala, 572-4459.

Sea Talk - Tue. “Indian Ocean Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina, The View from Ground Zero”.

Mike Napier will be discussing his field deployment in both disaster areas. Free. 6 p.m. Maui Ocean Center’s Open Ocean Exhibit, Enter at Front Gate, 270-7075 or 270-7084.

SPORTS Run For It - Sat. Na Holo Wahine 5K Run. 8 a.m.

Keopuolani Park, Wailuku, 242-8251.

Gina Martinelli 7pm

Kaahumanu Center, Call MAPA to schedule an audition or for more info 244-8760.

Audition - May 21. Audition for “Little Shop of Horrors”. A down-and-out skid row floral assistant becomes an overnight sensation when he discovers an exotic plant with a mysterious craving for fresh blood. Soon "Audrey II" grows into an ill-tempered, foul-mouthed, R & B singing carnivore who offers him fame and fortune in exchange for feeding its growing appetite, finally revealing itself to be an alien creature poised for global domination!

Appointments required. 244-8680.

ART Trunk Show - Fri. View a collection of unique handcrafted jewelry, meet the artist and toast champagne. 2-9 p.m. Sargent’s Fine Jewelry, 802-A Front St., 667-2131.

Maui Hands Gallery - Fri. Artist Gianna Mitchell will be painting on site for “Art Night”. 6-9 p.m. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 667-9898.

Art Night - Every Fri. night. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action, and refreshments, all free and open to the public. 7-10 p.m., Front Street. 667-9194.

Plein Air - Sat. Opening reception for works done by plein-air artists from all over Hawai'i that have captured the town of Makawao and the surrounding countryside on watercolor paper or canvas. 4:30-7 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, www.viewpointsgallerymaui.com or 572-5979.

POETRY Live Poets Society - Thu. Maui Live Poets Society in Lahaina meet every 2nd Thu. of the month. 6:309 p.m. Lahaina, email peace@maui.net; or visit http://www.peacepoem.org, 661-0517.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m. at Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. For info, call 276-5467.

POLITICAL Gary Hooser - Thu. Gary Hooser, second-term Kaua’i State Senator and Democratic candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives, is holding a talk story community meeting. 6 p.m. Kihei Community Center.

Screening - Sat. “My Name Is Rachel Corrie”, is composed from the journal entries and e-mails of the 23-year-old from Washington State who was crushed to death in Gaza 3 years ago under a Caterpillar bulldozer operated by the Israeli army. 7 p.m. Maui Booksellers, 244-9091.

Mom’s for Peace - Sun. Mothers nationwide call for peace in Iraq and Iran. Locally, Maui mothers and their families will gather for a silent vigil. 12:30-2 p.m. in front of Ka`ahumanu Center. Followed by a rally and picnic, 2-3:30 p.m. MCC, www.CODEPINKMaui.org or www.codepinkalert.org.

Town Forum - Wed. The Makawao Main Street Association will hold a town forum titled “How Much is Too Much?” This important forum will look at development and regulatory issues, transportation costs and alternatives and discuss the impacts associated with property and fuel taxes. 6-8:30 p.m.

Kalama Intermediate School Cafeteria, 244-3888.

STAGE

TV/Radio

Audition - Mon. Needed: two ladies. Please prepare two contrasting monologues, less than 2 minutes each and 16 bars of a song. An accompanist will be provided. 6-9 p.m. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen

Talk Story - Mon.-Thu. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m. on KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145.

Maui Talks - Tue. A live, public affairs, call-in talk

TUE - Curtis, 7pm

show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m. Channel 53. Call in at 873-3430 or for info call 572-8787.

Words of Peace - Wed and Thu. Prem Rawat broadcasts messages of world and inner peace. Not associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu, 7 a.m., Akaku Channel 52, www.contactinfo.org, 573-3084.

Call In - Fri. Political and public affairs, call-in talk show with Teri Lawrence. 12-1 p.m. KAOI 1110 AM Call in 242-7800.

Smallville - Fri. Small Town Maui, a new live onehour, weekly radio program that shares the memories and values of the small towns we love and explores how we can learn from Maui's past to create a better future. Debuts at 7 a.m., KAOI, 1110 AM. Life on Maui - Tue. Hosted by Steven Freid. The intention of the show is to interview people who are doing interesting and exciting things on Maui. 5 p.m.

Channel 52, akaku.org.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch, Mon and Thu; Howard Ahia Fri-Sun; Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thu; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; TBA, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Acoustic Music every night.

7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Jack’s Terrace Restaurant & Bar - Open mic night with Jim Freeborne on Sun. 7 p.m. to close. 843 Waine’e St., Lahaina, 667-9616.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant - Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s - Sam Ahia, Wed.-Sat., 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Crazy Fingers, Thu, 3:30 5:30 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Wed Jarret Robak 3:30 5:30 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

Mango Cafe - Live entertainment, Fri.-Sun, 5-7 p.m.

2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy, Ka’anapali, 667-1929.

Maui Brewing Co. - Nino Toscano, Thu-Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien Awai/ Kawika Lum Ho, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Damien Awai, Wed. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3473.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn - Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu, 69 p.m.; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 p.m.; Captain Billy Bones, Tue, 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Piano Music with Shiro Mori - Thu., Darrin Lenett - Fri, Gene Argel Mon. -Tue., Angie Carr, Wed., all shows 6-8 p.m.

4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477

Thursday 05/11

Friday 05/12

Saturday 05/13

DJ El Gato & DJ Boomshot $5, 10pm

Live Entertainment 9pm

Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Kenny Roberts, 6pm

El Nino 6pm

The Dogg House 10pm

MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Thirsty Thursdays w/DJ Stylz, 10pm

El Dogg 10pm

Hot Latin Nights w/Jammin’ J, 9pm

Adam Bowen 9:30pm

TUE - Pani Mai & J Dawg, 8pm; WED - Curtis, 10pm

TBA 10pm

Tom Cherry 10pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Ho’opili 9pm

Pimp Daddy Gnash 9pm

JACQUES

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LIFE’S A BEACH

Cool Rush 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

LOBBY LOUNGE

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

LONGHI’S

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Wed, Fri & Sat; Allen. All performances 6-8 (or 9)p.m.

2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

SOUTH MAUI

WEST MAUI

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo, Fri and Mon, 6:30-9 p.m.; Braddah Frances and friends, Sat, 6:30 p.m.; Terri Garrison, Sun, 4-6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston, Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo, Sun and Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon. All sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Enrique’s Cocina Mexicana -- Eddi Delgado, Fri, 78:30 p.m.; Island Stylin’, Sat and Mon, 7-8:30 p.m.

2395 S Kihei Rd #111, Kihei, 875-2910.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m.

Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Celtic Tigers, Thu and Fri, 8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7 p.m.; Gypsy Pacific, Mon, 7 p.m.; Benoit Jazz Works, Tue, 7 p.m.; Joyce & Gord, Wed, 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Live entertainment.

Tony & Peter, Sun, Tue and Thu; Wed and Fri, Trevor Jones 4-6 p.m. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Wed-Fri; Brian Wittman, Sat; Patrick Mayor, Sun-Mon. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Kenny Roberts, Sun & Mon.; Kaleo Cullen with hula show by Cora, Tue.; Keoki Ruiz, Wed.; Kawika Lum Ho, Thu.; Kaleo Cullen, Fri.; Louis Lambert, Sat. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd, 891-8860.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, WedSun 7-10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei, 874-8385.

■ EMBASSY VACATION RESORT 104 KA’ANAPALI SHORES, LAHAINA, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu and Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon and Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 NOHEA KAI DR, LAHAINA, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge: Live music nightly 6:309:30 p.m. directly following the torch lighting ceremony.

■ KA’ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages: Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard Of Ka’anapali Beach Hotel: Live music featuring Hawaii’s premier Slack Key Guitarists Ola Hou with Pekelo Cosma and Ohana Brown, Fri, 6-9 p.m.

Whalers Village Center Stage: Thus, Hula Lessons 3 p.m.- 4 p.m. Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak, 7 p.m.-8 p.m. Fri, Lei Making Class 122p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sat Drums of the Island 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sun, Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak 7-8p.m. 7-8 p.m.

Mon, Dances of Polynesian 6:30 p.m.-7 p.m.

Drums of Tahiti 7:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.Tue, Lei Making Class 11a.m.-1p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m-8 p.m. Wed Polynesian Hula Show 7p.m-8p.m. All Shows free.

■ MAUI MARRIOTT 100 NOHEA KAI DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kawika Lum Ho, Sat, 5:30-7:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA ONE RITZ-CARLTON DRIVE, KAPALUA, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,TueSat, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Kapalua Indoor Theater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Wed 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. 1-888-669-3858.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 KEKAA DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 661-3611 Live Hawaiian music, 6-8pm Thu-Sat in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL

CENTRAL MAUI

Monday 05/15 – Wednesday 05/17

MON - Open Mic w/Adam Bowen, 9pm; TUE - Kanoa & Sean of Gomega, 10pm; WED - Hoku, 9pm Dr. Nat, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Erin Smith Band $5, 10pm

Sea House Restaurant - Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon and Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Whalers Village Events - All performances take place at the center stage. Sun, Magic show and face painting, 6-8 p.m.; Mon, Dances of Polynesian, 6:307 p.m., Drums of Tahiti; 7:30-8 p.m.; Tue, Lei making class 12-2 p.m.; Wed, Polynesian Hula, 6:30-7, 7:308 p.m.; Wed, Benoit Jazz Trio, 7-8 p.m.; Free. For info, call 661-4567.

WM – Live music nightly, 6-9:30 p.m.; Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, On the Rocks; Thu, Benoit Jazz Works. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898.

AK’s Cafe - Fri; Ron Kuala’au, 6 p.m. 1237 L Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774.

Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului.

Café Marc Aurel - Sat; Shimmy Nights Transport yourself to realms of the Mysterious and Exotic with Live Belly Dance performances. Two shows 7 p.m. & 8 p.m. Mon, Express Yourself with Music, Song, Poetry Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. all shows no cover. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Mañana Garage - Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30-9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed, 48 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

Unisan - Sushi and more. Mon, Tue & Thu; Billy.

Sunday 05/14

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Live Jazz, Mon, 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Fri-Sat and Wed, 9 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Live Jazz, Wed and Fri; Anik, Sun, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS

2605 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly; Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 667-2525 Tropica: Happy hour music: Wilmont Kahaialii, Thu, 3-6 p.m. & Tue, 3-5 p.m.; Mitch Kepa, Fri, Mon & Wed, 3-6 p.m.; Ron Santiago, Sun, 3-6 p.m.; Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. Scott Baird, Thu; Steve Sargenti, Fri & Sat; Derek Elaban, Sun; Margie Heart, Mon; Brian Haia, Tue; Kalani Smythe, Wed.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:3011:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, Live Music, Wed, 5:309:30 p.m.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Live music with Toshomee 6:30 p.m. -9:30 p.m.Thu-Sat.s ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA East Wing- Live music with Marti Kluth playing classical, pop, and Jazz piano 6:30 p.m. -8 p.m., Wed Lower Courtyard- Live music with Jamie Lawerence and a Hawaiian band 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Wed ■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-1922

Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. ■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace: Live Hawaiian contemporary music

by Lono, Mon-Tue; Bobby Krueger, Wed-Thu; Mahalo Greg, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat; Mondo Kane, Sun. All sets 6-9 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 MAKENA ALANUI, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.; Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and 6-8 p.m., MonSat, 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI HANA, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge: Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:308:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

25

Thursday 05/11 LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Neto, Latin salsa night, No cover, 8-11pm

Friday 05/12

Saturday 05/13

The Willies, No cover, 8-11pm

Live Music, No cover, 8-9pm; Live DJ, No cover, 9pm

MANGO GRILL & BAR

Sunday 05/14

Monday 05/15 – Wednesday 05/17 WED - Karaoke, 9pm

DJ Boomshot $5, 9:30pm

2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy, Ka’anapali - 667-1929

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana - 669-3474

MAUI WAVERIDERS, B&G

No Info

No Info

No Info

No Info

No Info

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Brandon No cover, 9pm

DJ Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Turk, No cover 9pm; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Wailea Nights w/George Kahumoku Jr, 8pm

Wailea Nights w/George Kahumoku Jr, 8pm

Celtic Tigers, 7pm Dylan Donkin, 10pm

Celtic Tigers

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Benoit Jazz; WED - TBA

Kanoa

Jarod

Crunch Pups

DJ El Gato 10pm

MON - Erin Smith; WED - Catastrophic

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am Warriors of the Ring After-Party, 9pm

Lucid Fusion & DJ Durty 9pm

MON - From Michigan to Maui, 9pm TUE - Techno Shoes w/ DJ EdV, 9pm; WED - Live Music, 9pm

900 Front St, Lahaina - 661-1200

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

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NEPTUNES

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Live Music 9pm

DJ Stylz 9pm

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Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

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Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm

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MON - DJ Ed V, 10pm, No cover; TUE - DJ Afro-Flatulence, No cover, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, No cover, 10pm

DJ Blast, $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

26

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9:30pm No Info

No Info

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

TUE - Curtis & Maggie, No cover, 9:30pm WED - John Moore Project, No cover, 9:30pm

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

27

AS SEEN ON T.V. $CASH NOW$

AUTOMOTIVE Trucks, Motorcycles, RVs MOPED SALE! Mopeds Plus in Lahaina. $100 off all mopeds. All models come with helmet, cover & alarm. 991 Limahana Place, in the old Requests record shop. 661-8878

Automotive Services $500 Police Impounds Cars from $500! Tax Repos, US Marshall and IRS Sales! Cars, Trucks, SUV’s, Toyota’s, Honda’s, Chevy’s and more! For Listings Call 1-800-298-4150 xC107. (AAN CAN)

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28

MAY 11, 2006

FLYING THROUGH SPACE! You Wanna Try? Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Dive Tours.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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Many great opportunities. Part South Kihei time and full time shifts available.

Make $200-$300 per shift. No 1 bedroom, 1 bath beautifully experience is required, training remodeled condo across the street provided. Call (877) 966-9266 ext. from Kamaole One Beach and just a short walk to restaurants, shops 1000. (AAN CAN) and ocean fun. $279,000. Century 21-All Islands/Wailea, Josh Jerman YOUTH COUNSELOR Do you love the outdoors and R (S) direct: (808) 283-2222

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MUSIC & ARTS Musician Services

DO YOU NEED MUSIC FOR $18/hour Starting, Avg. Pay ANY SPECIAL EVENT? $57K/year. Federal Benefits, Paid Training and Vacations. No Fishnet Productions-All Styles-Call Experience Needed! 1-800-584- Karen for Booking. 891-8615 1775 Ref # P4401 (AAN CAN) WE PAY $1000 PER SALE!

NOTICES

5.9 Trillion Dollar Travel Industry FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV Needs YOU! WE do 95% of work! TESTING OFFERED THROUGH YOU just place ads! $1995 Start- YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT up fee.

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Results $$CASH$$ returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by Immediate Cash for Structured State Dept. of Health, for more Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, info call 984-2129 Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & ALOHA VALUED READERS Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth - #1 1-(800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN) We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct inforPARADISE SPICE-MAUI’S mation that advertisers want. If ADULT SUPERSTORE you see the acronym (AAN CAN) Is currently hiring for that ad is a national ad and was not Sales/Cashier help. Experience submitted directly to us. If you preferred, but will train. Immediate have a question directly concernopening, full-time. Apply in-person ing AAN CAN, please check out 249-2449 aancan.org

EMPLOYMENT

REAL ESTATE

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(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

Houses for Rent Kaimana’s Beach Hale At Baby Beach in Lahaina www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month..$125-$195 a day..your own private Ohana this has even continental breakfast served.

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Vacation Rentals CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

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MISCELLANEOUS

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at Baby Beach www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month. $125-$195 a day. Your own private Ohana. Continental breakfast served. Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring people specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. EXPENSES PAID. Toll free 24/ 7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

CHARGE IT!

M A U I R E C Y C L I N G S E RV I C E

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Home Pickup; a convenience for $17.50/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

Becomee a partt off Maui’ss newestt habitt ass wee presentt Lahainaa withh finee Chinesee Cuisinee att Zuihao!

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Applications accepted Monday-Friday am & pm

10-12

CAERIEL CRESTIN

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Read between the lines. There are holes there, chinks in the armor of those who oppose you.

There’s something there you can use to get what you want; it’s just a matter of being clever and observant and patient while you figure out what it is. Bide your time, Taurus. What looks like an impossibly impenetrable impediment is actually quite vulnerable—wait for your opening to present itself. Then don’t hesitate. Just dive through.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

SERVICES

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The first time I met one of my best friends in high school, he was wearing a giant strawberry costume, with more glee than self-consciousness. It was, honestly, ridiculous as well as incredibly crush-inducing, the way he bounced around in green tights grinning ear-to-ear. I’m quite sure he volunteered for this potentially embarrassing scenario, while you weren’t exactly clamoring to take part in the one you face this week. But you could try the same tact he employed: having as much fun with it as possible. You may find, if you enjoy yourself enough, that you’re much more likely to attract admiration than scorn.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Go ahead. Devour great slabs of chocolate cake for breakfast this week. Pause the hunt for that great deep love and just have dirty hot sex. Indulge your most extreme desires, as the Scorpio Full Moon is goading you to do anyway, because resisting them is virtually pointless; it certainly won’t get you what you want, in the short- or long-term. Sometimes you just have to let yourself go there and explore those hedonistic extremes, even if they don’t seem to fit in with your ultimate master plan. Indulging your most carnal and riotous desires isn’t torture. It’s fun.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Watch out for those strawberry daiquiris. Margarita? Say no thanks. Stay away from the stuff you can drink without exactly cringing, because if it’s too easy to get shit-faced this week, you’ll simply be drunk a bit too often. You’ll end up saying and doing things you’ll regret, and while that’s not exactly the end of the world, it certainly doesn’t set you up all that well for the kind of productive period you’ve been hoping to have the next few months.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You can’t avoid your own life forever, no matter how busy you make yourself. The excuse, “I’ve been too busy to even think about it,” while honest, won’t cut it for long. I don’t like to see you driven to these extremes by avoidance. Instead let lust, ambition, purpose and zeal drive you; that means shaking this particular unresolved monkey off your back. I want you to stop and figure out an answer so you can quit running from your quandary and get back to your inhuman schedule because you love it, not because you have “no choice.”

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Some guys have wanted into their crappy-ass college fraternity so bad that they’ve died trying.

Naturally, these were accidents, but if the hazing rituals they had to endure weren’t so extremely harrowing, they’d never have been at risk in the first place. Where will your desire lead you, and is it proportionate to the danger or hardship you’ll face in its pursuit? This week, make sure your goals are worthy of you, and not out of proportion to the misery and risk you’ll have to endure to achieve them.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) The problem with being so passionate is that you can get carried away. “But isn’t that the whole point?” you ask. Well, yes and no. Sometimes it’s good to let your feelings go over the top, but at other times—like right now—that’d actually keeping you from having the best experience you could. Don’t let this week’s little frustrations make you all inflamed and ridiculous, because when viewed with the least bit of perspective they’ll look incredibly tiny and petty and you’ll look like the biggest drama queen around. Keep your passions in check.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) If you accidentally show up for a costume party a day early, don’t wither away in embarrassment. Own it. Make it a happy accident. Find somewhere else to wear your costume to, and use the experience as a dress rehearsal—thus a chance to step up your game when the real thing comes around. Naturally, I’m not really talking about anything as prosaic as an actual costume party; adapt the idea to something really happening in your life. Make the accidental trial run more fun than the actual event would have been, then make the real thing even better.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) If I could write your horoscope in white ink, I’d consider it this week, since it would reflect exactly how invisible you’re feeling at the moment. It’s hard not to feel overlooked when your friends go out together without you, or your coworkers get recognition you deserve, or cute strangers blank you instead of flirting with you. What are you doing wrong? Nothing, really—mostly this is the universe’s way of asking you to step up your game. Be more proactive. Make yourself unignorable.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Some of us spend our childhoods fleeing from monsters under the bed, and live our adult lives in the shadow of creatures just as illusory. But these are things you’ve rarely, if ever, done. You can let your imagination vault tremendous distances, but only with your rational intellect holding the reins. What would you say, though, if I told you that a vast territory of possibility lies outside of what you’ve so far seen? Terrors lurk there—but so do wonders. You’ll only get there if you let your imagination run wild and out of control. Curiosity piqued? Good.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Sometimes your passion doesn’t show. I think this is because of your general tendency to see both sides of every situation; what’s actually open-minded (and intense) curiosity can come off as total apathy. Over the years, you’ve learned to keep these contradictions to yourself, since they tend to freak many people out. This week, however, I say let them spill. They may confuse or confound a few, but they’ll let the important ones know that you’re not without care—you’re actually more involved than they could ever imagine.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) You’re good at lots of things, but gardening’s generally a no-no. It’s not that you don’t like taking care of others; it’s just that it works best if they actively remind you when they need some of your TLC. Plants are quite simply not loud enough. Nor, probably, is the newest candidate applying for a lion’s share of your attention and affection. Will you really be able to keep this one thriving without the kind of cues you’re used to? If you’re not sure, please consider which is kinder: giving them a taste, then letting them slowly starve, or simply depriving them altogether and walking away?

CAERIEL@YAHOO.COM

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

29

Mind Body

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New April/May Maui Vision Magazine Upcountry Bodywork with Out Now! Call 669-9091 for info.

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Sandra Lercari. Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, 874-5905 Massage & Energy Healing to quiet the mind, relax the body & open the heart. Learn to listen to your body. Feel the difference! call Grace at 283-1222 MAT#3018 Sex life on hold?

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CALL 283-3260

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY! Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday to g e t y o u r a d i n M a u i Ti m e W e e k l y !

FAX NUMBER 808.244.0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com

WEBSITE

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MAILING

33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku 96793-1742

DROP OFF

33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku

Brand New Wailuku Studio For Rent!

• Nice New Unit with Hardwood Floors • Only 4 Houses from the Ocean!

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• Full Kitchen w/ dishwasher, microwave, ceiling fan, washer/dryer, disposal

Telephone with FREE Long Distance INCLUDED!!!

No Smoking, $975 plus $475 available June 1st - Call 283-0512 30

MAY 11, 2006

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

The Dating Quiz

THE

INSIDER

1. You see somebody across the bar you want to meet but who doesn’t seem to notice you. You: a) Walk over, tap them on the shoulder and say, “Hey, buy me a drink.” b) Casually wriggle out of your ankle monitoring device and ask them to dance. c) Start making out with the bartender. d) Wave, smile and wink… naked.

2. On the first date, a guy should never say: a) “Didn’t I see you at Moose’s last Tuesday?” b) “Those look sooo real!” c) “It’s getting late, I should probably call my mom.” d) “Let’s just go back to your place.”

3. On the first date, it’s acceptable for a girl to: a) Offer to pay for dinner. b) Offer to pay for dinner at Mama’s Fish House. c) Offer to pay for dinner at Mama’s Fish House and then have sex in the parking lot afterwards. d) Complain about her ex who always wanted her to have sex in the parking lot after dinner.

4. An acceptable date on Maui is: a) Hanging out all night in some guy’s van. b) Going zip lining in Kula and then wild boar hunting in Kahakaloa, clothing optional. c) Bar hopping, then crashing some hot tub at a resort. d) Dinner and a movie.

5. You’ve been going out for three weeks. His/her parents are visiting from upstate New York. You: a) Suddenly develop bird flu-like symptoms. b) Offer to take them snorkeling in Kahului Harbor. c) Present them with a gift certificate for a week-long Tantric retreat in Haiku. d) Leave your sexual reassignment surgery paperwork on the kitchen counter.

6. You think your boyfriend/girlfriend and your roommate may be having an affair but you have no evidence. You: a) Confront them in an open, non-threatening manner. b) Ask your boyfriend/girlfriend’s roommate, while you’re in bed with them both. c) See if you can still get booked on the Jerry Springer Show. d) Don’t give it a second thought—those things hardly ever happen!

7. You’ve tried everything but sometimes love just isn’t enough.

It’s time to breakup. So you: a) Do it over a quiet dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise with all your friends. b) Send a text message. c) Stage your own death and sign up with the Witness Protection Program. d) Start a blog. Or a column.

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Points: 1) a-1, b-2, c-3, d-0; 2) a-3, b-0, c-2, d-1; 3) a-1, b-3, c-2, d-0; 4) a-3, b-0, c-1, d-2; 5) a-0, b-3, c-1, d-2; 6) a-1, b-0, c-3, d-2; 7) a-2, b-3, c-1, d-0.

18-15… The Player: You’ve been dating on Maui and honey, it shows.

14-11… The Gamer: You’ve made some mistakes here and there and yet, you’re still getting laid.

10-6… The Hopeful and/or Clueless: Why listen to your friends? They’re just miserable and jealous anyway.

5-0… Congratulations! You’ve won a date with Holoholo Girl!

Samantha Campos has never been to Dubrovnik, Croatia, but heard it’s lovely this time of year. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 11, 2006

31

Best of Maui

Make Your Vote Count!

Like, oh my gawd! Vote Online at mauitime.com

2006

ATTENTION MAUI GIRLS Make extra money modeling here on the island. 18-55 year old females only! All experience levels and body types welcome. Email malcolm@mauipeople.com or call 808-2143449. All models will be traeted with the utmost respect and professionalism, we expect the same. Pacific Media 810 Haiku Rd. Haiku Hi. 96708 Suite 113 PMB 101

ORGANIC PEST CONTROL

30 year Maui Pawn Shop is clearing out its warehouse. Antiques, collectibles, Silver, Art, 52” TV, Pro Ping-Pong Table, Tools, China.

Friday & Saturday, Corner of Market & Main.

LOOKING FOR HAIRDRESSERS

On The UPside with TERI

BUY 10 TANS GET ONE FREE!

Tune in every FRIDAY at our NEW TIME *NOON* on KAOI 1110 AM. Call in 808-242-7800.

We’ve got Maui’s Best Selection and Lowest Prices. Also Flags From Around the World, Collectable Old Stamps and Sports Memorabilia. Island Coins & Stamps, Wharf Cinema Center, 3rd Floor, Lahaina, 667-6155

THE SWEET SPOT Maui’s Best Frozen Yogurt Low Carb Frozen Yogurt-Maui Produced Ice Cream-Shaved Ice-Tuesday $1.50 Kids Cones. Kama’aina 20% off. 879-8611, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kukui Mall, Kihei

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May 11th

Chaka Bloodsaw Amphibues Tungs Dj Jay P

May 12th

STOP WISHIN’ & GO FISHIN’ 42’ BERTRAM SPORTFISHERS

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RATED #1

Maui: (808) 667-2774 KONA: (808) 327-1265

MODELS NEEDED! Pro photographer needs models for fitness, beauty & lifestyle assignments. $50 per hour.

Any age or ethnicity. Email photo, contact info and stats to ron@ronchapple.com Or mail a photo to RC Studios, P.O. Box 1758, Kihei, Hi.,96753. Just visiting, call (808) 874-5755

Air Maui Helicopter Tours 2 for 1 Special!

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May 15th

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May 16th

May 17th

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